Loriann Oberlin MS, LCPC

  • Relationships

What It Really Means to Be Mature

It starts with taking responsibility when things go wrong..

Posted April 17, 2022 | Reviewed by Devon Frye

  • Medical science has shown that adolescence continues into one’s 20s when the frontal lobe fully comes on board by age 26.
  • In order to navigate committed relationships and marriage, we must first grow ourselves up.
  • Exploring how one cuts off others, creates relationship triangles, and resists conformity or groupthink displays emotional maturity.
  • Taking responsibility for one’s missteps is a hallmark of maturity; crafting villains into one’s story with finger-pointing is the opposite.

Commencement speeches provide wisdom to graduates of all ages. With this passage, we often assume that those donning caps and gowns have it all together as they embark upon higher education or leave for promising careers.

Not so fast. As a topic, maturity is debated in the medical literature since neuroimaging shows that the brain matures well into one’s 20s. The frontal lobe, governing executive functions like working memory , impulse and self-control , planning, and time management , is among the last brain area to mature. 1 This occurs typically around age 26.

Other studies have considered having different ages of majority, depending upon legal issues, as being truer to the developmental science than one set age for all matters. One boundary could apply where there is emotional arousal, time pressure, and coercion whereas another is designated for those aged 18 and older where psychosocial immaturity compromises judgment. 2

Defining Maturity

According to Merriam Webster, maturity means adulthood and full development. Unofficially, many adults who read the sage words of the late advice columnist Ann Landers may remember the column titled "Maturity," easily found in an online search. 3 In that classic prose, Landers wrote that people display maturity in patience, perseverance, decision-making , dependability, self-control, and humility; that is, the ability to admit simply “I was wrong.”

In 2013, Washington Post columnist Carolyn Hax wrote about how to be one’s best self. She posed a probing list of questions including: Do you realize that your needs have the same status as everyone else’s? And that you’re not the hero in every encounter with others? 4

During the global pandemic, Kathleen Smith, Ph.D., wrote “Telling A Story Without Villains” in which she reports that the focus on other vs. self leads to rigid, reactive behavior and tossing immaturity back at others. 5 “Staying stuck in a narrow framework of right and wrong, of hero and villain,” she says, “doesn’t free you up to think creatively about the problem and your part in the solution.”

Never Too Old to Grow Up

Jenny Brown, MSW, writes in Growing Yourself Up: How to Bring Your Best to All of Life’s Relationships that the overriding question remains: Am I up for addressing the immature part I’m playing in relationships? 6 “Seeing what we need to change about our unhelpful reactions, and working on them in the world of relationships, creates positive rippled effects into the systems we’re part of,” Brown writes. “It can even ripple into future generations.”

In what Brown dubs the “change and blame dance,” she reports, “When we’re finding fault with others, we stop working on ourselves. Our growing gets stuck in the blame rut.”

Brown’s book presents maturity through the lifespan from young adulthood to middle age—with discussions of sex , marriage , separation, and divorce —to one’s older years facing mortality. She does this through a Bowen family systems lens.

Family Systems Front and Center

Our families of origin serve as a relationship template. It’s where we learn how to be and think and what the roles of husband, wife, father, and mother look like.

In 2018, Roberta Gilbert, M.D., updated her classic book The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory— which I often point therapy clients to, to obtain a quick understanding of the nuclear family emotion system, family projection , and multigenerational transmission (of anxiety ), sibling position, cutoff, triangles, and differentiation of self. 7 Differentiation means how susceptible one is to family of origin conformity and groupthink . 8

Dr. Gilbert writes that feelings will come and go, but learning to be more thoughtful over the life course and learning to see the family as an emotional unit, not the individuals, is best. Thinking systems, and working on one’s self where one has that control rather than finger-pointing and insisting others change, which is typically futile and out of one’s ability to change—that’s the work to be done. Hence, an emotional maturity measure.

Key Behaviors That Show Maturity

The list below succinctly explains many family systems tenets:

  • Think “How do we all impact one another?” rather than “Why can’t that person…”
  • Resist the childish impulse to blame others when things don’t go well in life.
  • Do not over-function for others, for extended periods. Practice true help by setting them on an independent and successful path.
  • See triangles form, and recognize how futile they are in any group or family. This prevents immaturity pitfalls and aids problem-solving between the two people who need to work things out.
  • Realize that relationships are much like geometry: the closest distance between two points is a straight line, not through a third party.
  • Refrain from fault-finding but consider your own role and how you’ve contributed to any upset. Take responsibility for it and work on yourself to prevent the dynamic in the future.
  • Keep from being a chameleon shifting views to curry favor with others. Know your values and be principled in your decisions. Counseling sessions can help people identify these so that they don’t indecisively fence sit.
  • Summon your best maturity skills for committed relationships, especially marriage. If one party acts childishly through passive aggression , under-functioning, pettiness, blame, or defensiveness, therapy should be sought.
  • Resist settling for less. Mature adults consciously work on becoming better humans, partners, lovers, and parents, regardless of age. Finding this won’t be easy but worth it in the long run.

maturity essay english

Copyright © 2022 by Loriann Oberlin, MS

See also: Dating & Mating Characteristics and Speaking Up When Stressed

1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2892678/ and https://www.businessinsider.com/age-brain-matures-at-everything-2017-11

2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6551607/

3. https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1999-07-17-9907170129-story.html

4. https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2013/12/13/carolyn-hax-defining-best-self/

5. https://kathleensmith.net/2020/05/20/telling-a-story-without-villains/

6. https://tinyurl.com/Growing-Yourself-Up

7. w ww.loriannoberlin.com/books

8. https://www.thebowencenter.org/differentiation-of-self

Loriann Oberlin MS, LCPC

Loriann Oberlin, MS, LCPC, is a clinical counselor and co-author of books including Overcoming Passive-Aggression.

  • Find a Therapist
  • Find a Treatment Center
  • Find a Psychiatrist
  • Find a Support Group
  • Find Online Therapy
  • United States
  • Brooklyn, NY
  • Chicago, IL
  • Houston, TX
  • Los Angeles, CA
  • New York, NY
  • Portland, OR
  • San Diego, CA
  • San Francisco, CA
  • Seattle, WA
  • Washington, DC
  • Asperger's
  • Bipolar Disorder
  • Chronic Pain
  • Eating Disorders
  • Passive Aggression
  • Personality
  • Goal Setting
  • Positive Psychology
  • Stopping Smoking
  • Low Sexual Desire
  • Child Development
  • Therapy Center NEW
  • Diagnosis Dictionary
  • Types of Therapy

March 2024 magazine cover

Understanding what emotional intelligence looks like and the steps needed to improve it could light a path to a more emotionally adept world.

  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Gaslighting
  • Affective Forecasting
  • Neuroscience

Home — Essay Samples — Psychology — Behavioral psychology — Maturity

one px

Maturity Essays

Choosing maturity essay topics.

When it comes to writing an essay on maturity, there are a variety of topics that can be explored. The concept of maturity is complex and multifaceted, making it an interesting and thought-provoking subject for an essay. In this article, we will discuss the importance of choosing a compelling maturity essay topic and provide a detailed list of recommended topics across different categories.

Importance of the Topic

Understanding maturity and its implications is essential for personal growth and development. Exploring this topic in an essay allows individuals to delve into the various aspects of maturity, such as emotional, intellectual, and social maturity. By analyzing and reflecting on these aspects, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them. Additionally, discussing maturity in an essay can help individuals develop critical thinking skills and enhance their ability to articulate complex ideas.

Choosing a Topic

When choosing a maturity essay topic, it is important to consider your personal interests and experiences. Selecting a topic that resonates with you will make the writing process more engaging and meaningful. Additionally, it is beneficial to choose a topic that is relevant and thought-provoking, as this will capture the reader's attention and encourage them to contemplate the subject matter. Consider exploring different aspects of maturity, such as its impact on relationships, decision-making, and personal growth.

Recommended Essay Topics

Below is a list of recommended maturity essay topics, divided into different categories for your convenience:

Emotional Maturity

  • The role of emotional intelligence in achieving maturity
  • How childhood experiences shape emotional maturity in adulthood
  • The impact of trauma on the development of emotional maturity

Intellectual Maturity

  • The relationship between critical thinking and intellectual maturity
  • How education and lifelong learning contribute to intellectual maturity
  • The importance of open-mindedness in achieving intellectual maturity

Social Maturity

  • Exploring the concept of empathy and its role in social maturity
  • The influence of culture and society on social maturity
  • How conflict resolution skills contribute to social maturity

Personal Growth and Development

  • Overcoming challenges and obstacles on the path to maturity
  • The role of self-reflection in fostering personal growth and maturity
  • How setting and achieving goals contributes to personal maturity

Relationships and Maturity

  • The impact of maturity on romantic relationships
  • How communication skills influence the dynamics of mature relationships
  • Exploring the concept of maturity in friendships and familial relationships

By choosing a topic from the list above, individuals can explore different dimensions of maturity and gain a deeper understanding of this complex concept. Whether it's delving into emotional, intellectual, or social maturity, there are numerous thought-provoking topics to consider for an engaging and insightful essay.

Choosing a compelling maturity essay topic is essential for engaging in a meaningful exploration of this complex concept. By considering personal interests and experiences, individuals can select a relevant and thought-provoking topic that encourages critical thinking and self-reflection. With the recommended essay topics provided, individuals can explore the multifaceted nature of maturity and its impact on personal growth and relationships.

Definition Essay on Maturity

The importance of maturity, made-to-order essay as fast as you need it.

Each essay is customized to cater to your unique preferences

+ experts online

Emotional Maturity and Emotional Stability

Maturity and independence in "all the pretty horses", the valuable lessons on the journey of maturity in "the catcher in the rye", the maturity and tolerance of lou in "the war of the wall" by toni cade bambara, let us write you an essay from scratch.

  • 450+ experts on 30 subjects ready to help
  • Custom essay delivered in as few as 3 hours

My Views on The Use of Hormone Therapy Among Women

Different stages of maturity compared to digital masters, transition from adolescence to adulthood, when do we become adults, the multifaceted meaning of maturity, relevant topics.

  • Procrastination
  • Human Behavior
  • Child Behavior

By clicking “Check Writers’ Offers”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy . We’ll occasionally send you promo and account related email

No need to pay just yet!

We use cookies to personalyze your web-site experience. By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .

  • Instructions Followed To The Letter
  • Deadlines Met At Every Stage
  • Unique And Plagiarism Free

maturity essay english

  • Entertainment
  • Environment
  • Information Science and Technology
  • Social Issues

Home Essay Samples Life

Essay Samples on Maturity

How does being in a group affect bystander intervention.

Bystander impacts how people will react in a certain situation. I think it because our brain reaches maturity in a way that we should have priority first before anything else. For example, if an incident happened on a road, some people are going to the...

  • The Bystander Effect

Means of Assessing Project Management Maturity Measurement Process

Understanding organizational functioning is central to the purpose of maturity models, and it has been argued by Van De Ven, 1976 that these can be evaluated through an exploration of process, structure, consistency, and discretion. Their overall development emanated from the need to understand the...

  • Project Management

The Question Of Whether Age Matters In A Relationship

The issue of age factor in a relationship is a serious one. I believe you might have thought about it either once or twice. I can’t date him, I am older than him. He was born a week after I was born and all of...

  • Relationship

Maturity and Growth in The Chrysalids

A person is generally considered to be mature if they exhibit common qualities or characteristics that are expected in adulthood. These characteristics can include being responsible, patient, and making decisions based on rationality. In the novel The Chrysalids by John Wyndham, we get to see...

  • Moral Development
  • The Chrysalids

Advantages, Disadvantages, and effects of Studying Abroad

Studying abroad is the act of going to another country to study the same material but in a completely new and different environment. Some people ask what the purpose is of studying abroad and what are the benefits of it. Well, studying abroad has many...

  • Studying Abroad

Stressed out with your paper?

Consider using writing assistance:

  • 100% unique papers
  • 3 hrs deadline option

Araby: The Battle of Lust and Family Roots

Epiphany is a central motif in “Araby” which represents disappointment. Joyce defines epiphany as the moment when the essence of a character is revealed. In this paper, I will show that the boy experiences incremental but eye-opening discoveries that will help him understand more about...

Reaching the Age of Emotional Maturity

Whilst growing up, we come in contact with numerous people of different orientations, attitudes, actions, and very important ideas. And we wonder why they act how they act or why they say some things they say? Or wow? Due to my upbringing, I would say...

  • Human Development

Infantilism as Social Phenomenon and a Sign of Growing Immaturity

In the modern world, we are increasingly seeing signs of personal immaturity, a decrease in initiative, a depletion of value orientations among young people. The priorities, the general worldview, the principles and ideals of young people today have changed. The desire for self-actualization, self-reflection has...

  • Modern Society

Correlation Between Technological Progress and Social Maturity

The emergence of technology has increased the pace with which development previously took place. It revolutionised films, literature, trade, culture of consumerism and communication and much more. It took Homo Sapiens about 20,000 years to shift from cave paintings to petro glyphs (carvings on rocks)....

  • Advantages of Technology

Maturity And Myself: Key Aspects That Affects Me

There are three critical perspectives that play a noteworthy run in my life. They can be arranged as scholarly, social, and profound. My scholarly self is intriguing in light of the fact that I am predominantly right-brained which implies that I tend to utilize my...

  • Personal Growth and Development
  • Self Reflection

Best topics on Maturity

1. How Does Being in a Group Affect Bystander Intervention

2. Means of Assessing Project Management Maturity Measurement Process

3. The Question Of Whether Age Matters In A Relationship

4. Maturity and Growth in The Chrysalids

5. Advantages, Disadvantages, and effects of Studying Abroad

6. Araby: The Battle of Lust and Family Roots

7. Reaching the Age of Emotional Maturity

8. Infantilism as Social Phenomenon and a Sign of Growing Immaturity

9. Correlation Between Technological Progress and Social Maturity

10. Maturity And Myself: Key Aspects That Affects Me

  • Career Goals
  • Personal Experience
  • Perseverance
  • Expectations

Need writing help?

You can always rely on us no matter what type of paper you need

*No hidden charges

100% Unique Essays

Absolutely Confidential

Money Back Guarantee

By clicking “Send Essay”, you agree to our Terms of service and Privacy statement. We will occasionally send you account related emails

You can also get a UNIQUE essay on this or any other topic

Thank you! We’ll contact you as soon as possible.

Home / Essay Samples / Life / Myself / Maturity

Maturity Essay Examples

Understanding the concept of maturity and its nature.

The concept of maturity has not received a great deal of explicit attention in the literature. Delineation of libidinal development has been yielded the important formulation of the “Genital level” and “object-interest (Freud, 1924)”. Recent emphasis on the conflict between the regressive, dependents, versus the...

Maturity in All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque

War can control a person mentally, physically, and spiritually. This is best explained by Paul Bäumer’s statement, “Our thoughts are clay, they are moulded with the changes of the days” (Remarque 271). All Quiet on the Western Front is about a group of newly enlisted...

Discussion of Whether Maturity is Measured by Age Or Experience

Age is just a number? Can your actions be determined by your age or your age is just a number? Maturity is what determines your actions at a certain time, place or situation, that how you react to it. Maturity is what makes a person...

Effects of Studying Abroad

Studying abroad is the act of going to another country to study the same material but in a completely new and different environment. Some people ask what the purpose is of studying abroad and what are the benefits of it. Well, studying abroad has many...

Maturity in to Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

In every human being’s life, they experience maturity moving from child to adult and how one’s personality may change over time. Their opinion may change and the way that they see the world. They can see the heartache and pain amongst others and the gratitude...

Malala Yousafzai's Maturity Development in I Am Malala

Malala Yousafzai is a young woman who stands up for girls’ education. Malala stands up for girls’ education because she believes that she has the right to speak up and go to school. She goes through many hard situations because of the Taliban and Maulana...

A Theme of Maturity in the Novel the Marrow Thieves

The definition of maturity might be summed up best by M.J Croan: “Maturity is when your world opens up and you realize that you are not the center of it”. However, for more accuracy, as stated by Wikipedia, maturity is the ability to respond to...

A Theme of Maturity in Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

“Maturity. It doesn’t always come with age, infact its deeper than age. It's about the way you see and understand things. The way you consider others. The way you communicate. The way you react. The things you value. The things you entertain. The way you...

My View on the Meaning of Maturity

What makes a person mature? This is a question that is too often neglected in today’s society. People don’t become mature overnight. Furthermore, there is no specific age to reach maturity. Instead, maturity depends on a person’s sense of wisdom, responsibility, and humility. It is...

Trying to find an excellent essay sample but no results?

Don’t waste your time and get a professional writer to help!

You may also like

  • Job Interview
  • Biography Essays
  • Values Essays
  • Self Awareness Essays
  • Humor Essays
  • Self Reflection Essays
  • Being Yourself Essays
  • Obedience Essays
  • Ethical Dilemma Essays
  • Belief Essays
  • Fear of Failure Essays

samplius.com uses cookies to offer you the best service possible.By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .--> -->