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The Struggles of Being a Single Parent

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The Struggles of Single Parenting Essay

Introduction, financial challenge, finding competent childcare, the world on your shoulder, feeling lost and alone, introducing your child to those who you are dating, works cited.

Parenting is the central role of family, which is the basic unit of society. Thus, a society is characterized by the quality of parenting achieved at the family level. The stigma surrounding single parenthood is borne out of the contemporary notion that family comprises a father, mother and children (Hanson, 44). Single parent families are thus vilified on the notion that they are deficient.

In some instances, weakened gender-identity and poor self-esteem culminates from the existence of single parenthood. Parenting involves responsibilities and resources, which one individual cannot avail at the desired time and in the required proportion. Despite the significance of parenting to the life of an individual, little or no formal grounding is available for would-be parents on how to best execute the job (Hanson, 45). The concept of single parenthood highlighted is that of a single motherhood. As a result, most families characterized by single parenthood comprise of a single mother (Bornstein, 56). Growing up under the care of single parent has its influence on the personality of an individual.

In spite of the challenges facing single parents, the implicit differences in an individual’s personality cannot be accurately attributed to the type of parenting they receive. However, as postulated by McLanahan & Sandefur p1,

“Children who grow up in a household with only one biological parent are worse off on average than children who grow up in a household with both of their biological parents, regardless of the parents race or educational background, whether the parents were married when the child was born and …of whether the resident parent remarries”p1.

Single parent households face numerous challenges as discussed hereunder. However, these challenges are relative to the situation faced by families headed by both parents.

The ability of a single parent to avail sufficient financial resources for upbringing of a child is limited. Hanson (p56) posits that poverty limits the ability to look after children in addition to personal needs of the parent. It also has far-reaching adversities such as poor performance at school, youth delinquency and poor self-concept. The associated unavailability of proper housing, insecurity and abuse increase the influence of single-parenthood to development of a child in spite of the fact that wealth is no guarantee of positive outcome in character of the children.

However, resource availability boosts the affordability of some necessary amenities. As outlined by McLanahan & Sandefur (p 10), in 1980, the overall dropout rate was 19%, with 13% of the children residing with both parents. Most single parents experience compounded issues relating to finances. The inability to gain entry into the jobs market is borne out of socio-economic constraints. Most of them are non-literate or semi literate.

The lack of skills and competencies in income-generating activities contribute to their scenario in most cases. Single parents who are financially stable have higher chances of remarrying as well. Thus, most of the single mothers who experience financial constraints sink into a downward spiral into poverty. Single parents are in a dilemma when it comes to dealing with unemployment and scarcity of resources or having time for themselves and parenting their child. As observed, poverty is major contributor to inability to remarry after divorce or getting married in the first place.

Gone are the days when a neighbor would assist with household chores without asking for some form of compensation (Walsh, 138). Each individual is involved in income generation and it is common-practice for people seeking services of others to offer competitive pay. At the backdrop of financial constraints, a single parent finds themselves unable to afford childcare according to McLanahan & Sandefur (p 8). Since the single parent has to attend to her work responsibilities, part of the day’s prime hours are spend away from the child. Most workplaces are not considerate of such scenarios and do not have flexibility regarding day care (Hanson, 50)

Children require a father figure to which they can relate and adore. A single-parent family presents a scenario where the parents are not living together and takes away the opportunity of the child to experience the nurture of two parents. As a result, there is loss or absence of social capital. McLanahan & Sandefur (p 3) describes social capital as the scenario where a relationship develops out of trust and commitment.

If the absentee parent is alive, the child is bound to feel that the parent who lives apart does not love them enough to afford time and financial resources to support their needs. As articulated by Hanson (p115), uncertainty about the future is bound to breed deviant tendencies and undesirable personal traits. The ability of the child to succeed and grow to a productive adult is severely compromised due to lack of this form of guidance.

The arrival or departure of the father figure is associated with problems, while strong home environments are associated with perceptions of positive behavior (Hanson 50). Thus, support of a fatherly figure is of utmost necessity. As posited by Walsh, “Although single parents are likely to have more stress and a fragmented household, these parents and children can learn how get their needs met within their networks. With support from extended family…useful connection with community members…”p127

Data reveals that single parents are more likely to sink into depression than their married counterparts are (Walsh, 124). The unavailability of a caring partner to strengthen the single parent against the challenges of parenting is bound to exert immense pressure on the single parent. However, this relies on the level of support from friends, relatives or support groups. The changing roles of the single parent, in addition to the other challenges of parenting are bound to cultivate ground for loneliness. The parent has to divide their resources between their love and that of the child. As a result, decision-making becomes a challenge, since a second opinion may only be available from the child he or she is upbringing.

The dating scene presents another challenge to a single parent. Many times, the bond between the prospective partner and the child may fail to develop leading to the child disapproving of them. This occurs since the child feels that the prospective ‘partner’ has come to take the place of the absentee parent. As a result, the child develops barriers to frustrate the individual, culminating into tensions that compromise the success of the relationship (Moore et al, 103). On the other hand, the parent is unsure about the longevity of the relationship from the onset. Incase the child develop a bond with the prospective partner, it is possible that the child will be distraught in case the relationship does not work.

Single parenthood is a major challenge even in the absence of the above stated difficulties. However, the outcome of parenting is not necessarily related to the presence of two parents as observed from both cases of parenting. In spite of the challenges faced by single parents, no evidence is conclusive relating to the adverse impact of one-parent families to the personality of the children in adult life. As a result, parents should strive to avail the best possible care and nurture to their children regardless of their scenario

Bornstein, Marc H. “Handbook of Parenting: Being and Becoming a Parent, Volume 3” USA: Routledge, 2002, p 50-60

Hanson, Shirley M. “Single Parent Families: Diversity, Myths, and Realities, Volume 1” New York: Routledge, 1994, p 30-150

McLanahan, Sara and Sandefur, Gary D. “Growing Up With A Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps” USA: Harvard University Press, 1994, p1-100

Moore, Kristin A et al. “Choice and Circumstance: Racial Differences in Adolescent Sexuality and Fertility”Transaction Publishers, 1989 p100-105

Walsh, Froma. “Normal Family Processes: Growing Diversity and Complexity”, New York: Guilford Press, 2003, p 120-128

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A Single Parent Struggle Essay Example

For many years, children growing up in a single parent family have been viewed as different. Being raised by only one parent seems impossible to many yet over the decades it has become more prevalent. In today’s society many children have grown up to become emotionally stable and successful whether they had one or two parents to show them the rocky path that life bestows upon all human beings. The problem lies in the difference of children raised by single parents versus children raised by both a mother and a father. Does a child need both parents? Does a young boy need a father figure around? Does the government provide help for single parents?What role do step-parents and step-siblings play? 

With much speculation, this topic has become a very intriguing argument. What people must understand is that properly raising a child does not rely on the structure of a family but should be more focused on the process or values that are taught to these children as they learn to mature. Children of single parents can be just as progressive with emotional, social and behavioral skills as those with two parents. People claim that the only way for children to gain full emotional and behavioral skills is to be raised by both a mother and a father. When a topic such as this one has a broad amount of variables it is impossible to simply link these problems to only having one parent. In the article, “Single-parent families cause juvenile crime”, author Robert L. Maginnis states, “Children from single-parent families are more likely to have behavior problems because they tend to lack economic security and adequate time with parents”.

The simple statement that raw criminals are products of single-parent adolescence is absurd. What this writer must understand is that it can be extremely difficult for one parent to raise a child by themselves for many reasons. A single-parent must work full time to be able to afford to provide for themselves and their child. They must also be able to still have time to offer an exuberant amount of emotional time for the well being of their child.

However, even though this may seem impossible, it can be done. As this subject continues to be looked down on people must realize that single parents are becoming more common in today’s world. Since 1995 the American family structure for children ages fourteen to eighteen consists of forty-two percent living in a first marriage family with both parents, twenty-two percent living in a second marriage step-family, twenty-one percent living in a single parent, divorced or separated family, six percent living in a single parent never married family and three percent living in a single parent widowed family. 

This is an extremely scary statistic considering that fifty eight percent of children in America are living in a single parent family. This is a chilling percentage because it shows how little faith is put into a relationship before actually deciding to have children. Unfortunately not all single-parents take the time to perform the vital tasks needed to raise their children. Parents who think they would never be able to provide emotional stability for their children by themselves should have taken the time to think this through before deciding to become parents. 

Accidents may happen once in awhile but in most cases adults know what is at stake when planning to have a child. Plain and simple, if you’re not ready, than don’t do it. If you do decide to have this child and you love this child, then you can be a good parent. There are many ways to enhance the well being of your child if you simply apply yourselves as parents. Magginnis later states that, “Boys who do not have fathers as male role models suffer especially”. While it is extremely important for a male child to have his father around, there are other ways of teaching a young boy the lessons he needs to become a man.

I know from personal experience that what the author of this article is trying to convey is wrong. I never had my father around while growing up and I did in fact have many positive male role models. My Grandfather was always there to help guide me as I slowly blossomed into a young man. Anytime my mother had to work to support us, my grandparents, aunt’s, uncles and cousins would step up and provide the time and attention I needed. Therefore, I had the best support group I could have had as a young man. Being a child with a single mother had its benefits. Although I came to find how hard it really was for her to always meet the needs of her child, she did the best job that she possibly could and gave me the knowledge that I needed to become a successful man without the guidance of my father.

I did however have the experience of dealing with a step-parent. Today, twenty five percent of all American children will spend at least some time of their growing-up years in a stepfamily. This seems fine for single parents because they feel like they can start over in a new relationship and receive help from their spouse both emotionally and financially. A step-parent can cause confusion and emotional stress on the child since they have just had to adjust to only one parent and now have to adjust to a new parental figure stepping into the family role. Another factor of bringing a step-parent into a single family’s life is new step-siblings to get along with. It might not be justified for a step- parent to punish their step-child like they would their own flesh and blood. As long as both parents have an understanding that their family comes first and that it is important to communicate between themselves and with the children, a step-family could survive.

Children who are raised with both a mother and a father have more attention from both parents therefore they get the emotional time they need to progress in life. This could be true but not in all circumstances. It would not be beneficial at all to grow up in a two parent family who did nothing but argue and put each-other down. Naturally, a child who sees this from a very young age until they are ready to be out on their own would only follow in the footsteps of all that they have ever known. Children who are raised by one parent who devotes their time and emotion into their child would benefit much more than a child who has both parents showing them that fighting and arguing is acceptable.

Not all families are lucky enough to have a healthy structure. It is important for society and government aids to notice these structural differences and take action. There should be government funded programs to help assist single-parent families with childcare and finances for parents who must work and still have time for their children. Whether it’s a mother and a father, a single mother, or a single father, children need guidance. They will only become a product of what they are taught from a young age and these children are deeply affected emotionally by the amount of love and compassion that is put into raising them. Whichever family structure is implied it must be one of respect and strong moral values that they can someday pass on to their family.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Single Parenting — My Mom Is a Single Parent: Personal Experience

My Mom is a Single Parent: Personal Experience

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Published: Sep 1, 2023

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Estimate the essay "Single parent struggle". What advantages and disadvantages can you find?

sonya_mirka 1 / 1   May 17, 2015   #1 "Single parent struggle" For many years, children growing up in a single parent family have been viewed as different but nowadays the situation is different. Children of single parents can be just as progressive with emotional, social and behavioral skills as those with two parents. Some people say that the only way for children to gain full emotional and behavioral skills is to be raised by both a mother and a father. There is an argument taken from the article by author Robert L. Maginnis : "Single-parent families cause juvenile crime". He states, "Children from single-parent families are more likely to have behavior problems because they tend to lack economic security and adequate time with parents". The statement that raw criminals are products of single-parent adolescence is absurd. It can be extremely difficult for one parent to raise a child by themselves for many reasons. To be looked down on people must realize that single parents are becoming more common in today's world. Since 1995 the American family structure for children ages fourteen to eighteen consists of forty-two percent living in a first marriage family with both parents, twenty-two percent living in a second marriage step-family, twenty-one percent living in a single parent, divorced or separated family, six percent living in a single parent never married family and three percent living in a single parent widowed family. It is scary statistics. But that is not the only one problem. Parents who think they would never be able to provide emotional stability for their children by themselves should have taken the time to think this through before deciding to become parents. Magginnis states that, "Boys who do not have fathers as male role models suffer especially". It is extremely important for a male child to have his father around, there are other ways of teaching a young boy the lessons he needs to become a man. The author of the essay tells about his own experience. Children who are raised with both a mother and a father have more attention from both parents therefore they get the emotional time they need to progress in life. The author claims that it is true not in all circumstances. He provides an example of a family where parents always ague with each other. It harms child's psyche. Not all families are lucky enough to have a healthy structure. It is important for society and government aids to notice these structural differences and take action. Government should support single-parent families. Children from different kinds of families need guidance. Whichever family structure is implied it must be one of respect and strong moral values that they can someday pass on to their family.

OP sonya_mirka 1 / 1   May 18, 2015   #3 Thanks for your answer.

By Dani Blum

When the governor of Virginia announced that schools would remain closed through the end of the academic year because of the coronavirus pandemic, Edrenna Johnson started crying. She took that afternoon off work and ate brownies with her 5-year-old, wondering how she was going to get through three more months of working from home and taking care of her son on her own. Johnson thought she had found a balance, until her son came up to her while she was on a work call and whispered, “Mommy, I miss you,” in her ear. She felt deflated.

Johnson is a single mother by choice, which she believes has better prepared her, in some ways, to handle quarantine. “You’re used to figuring out a lot by yourself, without support,” she said. Her solution, in this circumstance, was to temporarily relocate to her mother’s house in Florida, where at least her son would have more space to ride his bike around the neighborhood. Johnson worried about potentially exposing her 79-year-old mother to the virus, but she wasn’t sure what she would do if she fell sick herself — as her son’s only caregiver, she wouldn’t be able to isolate from him.

With parents everywhere adjusting to an eerie new normal of virtual classrooms and limited child care, single parents are struggling to navigate the previously unimaginable. NYT Parenting readers shared their stories about the incessant stress and snippets of peace they are finding during the pandemic.

‘I want them to be prepared’

My husband died in February 2018, and I am a single mother to my two children, who are 8 and 10. We are navigating this pandemic as a family of three, when we should be a family of four. It’s too hard to sit down for a family dinner — the empty chair looms greater during a pandemic than it did before. The reality that there is no back-up if I get too sick to care for them is a daily weight I’m forced to carry. In between writing deadlines and teaching a Pilates class over Zoom, while attempting to home school and negotiating arguments over who gets to hold the remote this time, I’m also instructing my kids to recognize when to call 9-1-1, in case I’m incapable of doing so for myself. I don’t want them to be afraid. But I want them to be prepared.

— Elaine Roth, Montville, N.J.

‘No break, no relief’

When Stephanie Cadet’s son turns 6 this weekend, the apartment in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn, she shares with her three kids will be decorated with streamers and balloons she bought frantically at a Dollar General store. She will cycle him through a flurry of online activities: virtual Uno played over Zoom, a dance party with friends and family members shaking their hips on camera, recorded videos from loved ones wishing him a happy birthday.

Adapting a child’s birthday party into a quarantine activity is one of the many hurdles Cadet, who is a domestic violence survivor, has struggled to navigate alone over the past few weeks. Each of her children, ages 4, 5, and 7, require a different technological setup for their schoolwork; they squabble with one another and ask why they can’t go to the jungle gym at the park. “It’s 24/7,” Cadet said. “No break, no relief.”

Every day, rain or shine, she walks with the kids to the local public school, where they pick up free lunches through the Department of Education’s school meals program, wrapped in individual plastic bags. Cadet points out the signs of spring to her children on the way back home — buds dotted on trees, sun hitting the sidewalk — and comforts them when they ask why so many people are wearing masks. She said prices at the grocery stores in her neighborhood seemed to be increasing — she saw cereal for sale for $9 — and she’s running low on benefits she gets through the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, known as SNAP. “The load is very heavy,” she said. “I feel the stress always.”

‘All I care about is surviving’

I’m a single parent of 3-year-old twins. No, I am not doing crafts (not my skill set and not my job), I have no schedules (who has the time and brain power to come up with that? I have a hard enough time ordering groceries a week in advance), I’m not worried about their brains atrophying. All I care about is surviving, getting my work done, and keeping them alive.

— Kelly Ann Sharman, Sweden

‘Everything I constructed to help us move forward has just stopped’

During Hurricane Sandy, the last major crisis Meghan Getting-Straesser remembers going through in her house on Long Island, she and her husband tried to make the time they spent stuck at home as fun as possible for their two kids. When the power went out, they played board games by the fire. At 5 p.m. on the dot every day, they left the house for a walk. Getting-Straesser and her husband could watch the children in shifts, or take a five-minute breather when they needed to calm down. Now widowed, caring for her 8- and 11-year-old girls on her own while working full-time from home, Getting-Straesser thinks often about the hurricane, how at least she and her husband could be a team.

In February 2019, her husband died from a pulmonary embolism. When she reads about the coronavirus — studies of some people experiencing symptoms similar to the ones her husband had, or stories about the stun of sudden loss — she feels triggered, she said, like pockets of grief she thought she had closed were opening back up. After her husband died, she said she experienced her own kind of social distancing. “People don’t know how to react when you lose a spouse so young,” she said. “They don’t know what to say to you.”

Under quarantine, “everything I constructed to help us move forward has just stopped,” she said. She and her daughters can no longer go to a family grief support group; the kids’ dance classes, music lessons and Taekwondo have moved to Zoom. She’s started to attend a weekly video call with other widows under the age of 50. The slowed-down schedule has given them time to process. “We’ve done some more grieving that we maybe put off,” she said.

‘A global pandemic was not even on my worst case scenarios list’

When I made the decision to become a mom on my own, I weighed every scenario. What would happen if I lost my job? What would it look like to go on vacations? What would happen if I got really sick? These last couple of weeks, I’ve woken up nightly worrying how I will parent my 3.5-year-old boy if I get the virus, knowing no one is coming to help. A global pandemic was not even on my worst case scenarios list. Our community of help and support is on lockdown. A million FaceTime playdates won’t change how isolating it is to do this alone and how much more work it is to keep my toddler entertained with just the two of us.

— Patty Kupfer, Denver

‘You just let the chaos continue’

Seven years ago, when Dee deLara adopted her son, friends would offer to help look after him, urging her that “it takes a village.” With social-distancing measures now in effect, that village has evaporated. DeLara and her 7-year-old son have now moved back into her childhood home, staying with her mother in Pasadena, Calif.

In some ways, the quarantine has brought deLara and her son closer. They sleep in the same bed each night. She lies on the diving board at the pool she and her siblings used to ride their bikes over to, and watches her son play. He runs the same laps around the pool after doing his homework that deLara would run as a child. He has A.D.H.D. and is dyslexic, which makes virtual school especially challenging , but deLara checks in regularly with his special education teachers through Zoom. “You can’t put too much pressure on him, on yourself,” she said. “You just let the chaos continue and get through it.”

Dani Blum is a news assistant on the Parenting desk. She graduated from the University of Pennsylvania in 2018. More about Dani Blum

• Special needs parenting
• Single parenting
• Coparenting

Common Challenges Faced by Single Parents: Exploring the Hurdles of Solo Parenthood

Welcome to our blog post on the common challenges faced by single parents. Being a single parent comes with its own unique set of hurdles and obstacles. From financial struggles to emotional stress, balancing work and parenting, and coping with loneliness, single parents face a range of difficulties on their solo journey. In this article, we will explore some of the most common challenges that single parents encounter and provide practical tips and solutions to help navigate these hurdles successfully.

The Financial Challenges

One of the primary challenges faced by single parents is managing finances on a single income. Raising children alone can be financially demanding, especially when it comes to providing for their basic needs such as food, clothing, education, and healthcare.

However, there are strategies that can help alleviate some of the financial stress. Creating a budget is an essential step towards understanding your income and expenses. Take the time to track your spending and identify areas where you can cut back or save. Look for opportunities to increase your income through part-time work or freelancing if feasible.

Additionally, explore available government assistance programs that can provide financial support to single parents. These programs may include child support enforcement agencies, subsidized housing options, and grants for education or job training.

The Emotional Stress

Single parenting often brings about emotional stress due to the increased responsibilities and limited support system. It’s important for single parents to acknowledge their emotions and seek ways to address them effectively.

Building a support network is crucial in navigating the emotional challenges of solo parenting. Reach out to friends, family members, or fellow single parents who can offer understanding and advice. Online forums or local support groups can also provide a sense of community where you can connect with others who are going through similar experiences.

Prioritizing self-care is another vital aspect of managing emotional stress. Carve out time for activities that bring you joy and help you relax. Whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or practicing meditation, self-care is essential for your well-being and ability to be a present and engaged parent.

Balancing Work and Parenting

Juggling work responsibilities with the demands of parenting can be overwhelming for single parents. Achieving a balance between the two is crucial to ensure that both areas of life receive the attention they deserve.

Start by establishing clear boundaries between work and parenting. Create a schedule that allows for dedicated time to focus on your job while also carving out quality time with your children. Communicate these boundaries with your employer, if possible, to ensure they are respected.

Explore flexible work options such as remote work or flexible hours that can provide more flexibility in managing your parental responsibilities. If available, consider utilizing childcare services during your working hours so that you can concentrate on your job without compromising on the quality of care for your children.

Lack of Support

Single parents often face a lack of support from family, friends, or even society at large. This lack of support can make it even more challenging to navigate the difficulties of solo parenthood.

However, there are resources available that can provide support and assistance. Seek out local community organizations or nonprofits that offer services specifically designed for single parents. These organizations may provide counseling services, support groups, or mentorship programs to help you connect with others facing similar challenges.

Additionally, don’t hesitate to reach out to trusted friends or family members who may be able to lend a helping hand when needed. Building a strong support system is crucial in overcoming the hurdles of single parenthood.

Coping with Loneliness

Feeling lonely is a common experience for single parents, especially when the responsibilities and demands of parenting become overwhelming. It’s important to address this loneliness and take steps to combat it.

Engage in activities that allow you to meet new people and build connections. Join parenting classes or groups, participate in community events, or consider volunteering for causes that are meaningful to you. These activities not only provide an opportunity to meet like-minded individuals but also allow you to engage in social interactions outside of your parental role.

Utilize technology to stay connected with friends and family members who may not be physically present. Regular video calls or chats can help alleviate feelings of isolation and provide emotional support.

Finding Childcare

Finding reliable and affordable childcare can be a significant challenge for single parents. However, there are options available that can make this task more manageable.

Start by researching local childcare centers or providers in your area. Look for facilities that have positive reviews and meet your specific requirements. Seek recommendations from other parents or trusted individuals in your community.

Consider joining forces with other single parents to create a shared childcare arrangement. This can involve rotating schedules where each parent takes turns caring for the children or pooling resources to hire a nanny or babysitter collectively.

Lastly, explore government assistance programs that provide financial aid for childcare expenses. These programs may help subsidize the cost of daycare or offer vouchers that can be used towards childcare services.

In Conclusion

Being a single parent comes with its fair share of challenges, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone. By acknowledging the difficulties faced by single parents and offering practical solutions, we hope this article has provided valuable insights and guidance.

Remember, building a support network, prioritizing self-care, and seeking available resources are key to successfully navigating the hurdles of solo parenthood. With determination, resilience, and the right tools at your disposal, you can overcome these challenges and provide a loving and nurturing environment for both yourself and your children.

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Recent Comments

• August 2023
• Attachment parenting

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