how to do a presentation when you have social anxiety

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To Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking, Stop Thinking About Yourself

• Sarah Gershman

Tips for before and during your presentation.

Even the most confident speakers find ways to distance themselves from their audience. It’s how our brains are programmed, so how can we overcome it? Human generosity. The key to calming the amygdala and disarming our panic button is to turn the focus away from ourselves — away from whether we will mess up or whether the audience will like us — and toward helping the audience. Showing kindness and generosity to others has been shown to activate the vagus nerve, which has the power to calm the fight-or-flight response. When we are kind to others, we tend to feel calmer and less stressed. The same principle applies in speaking. When we approach speaking with a spirit of generosity, we counteract the sensation of being under attack and we feel less nervous.

Most of us — even those at the top — struggle with public-speaking anxiety. When I ask my clients what makes them nervous, invariably they respond with the same answers:

• Sarah Gershman is an executive speech coach and CEO of Green Room Speakers. She is a professor at the McDonough School of Business at Georgetown University, where she teaches public speaking to leaders from around the globe.

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Beating Presentation Anxiety: 5 Steps to Speak Confidently

• The Speaker Lab
• April 16, 2024

Table of Contents

Feeling jittery about your next presentation? If so, you’re not alone. Presentation anxiety hits many of us, but it doesn’t have to hold you back. In this article, we’ll dive into what sparks this fear and how it shows up. We’ve got you covered with strategies to prep before your talk, keep cool during the show, and even use tech tools to smooth out those nerves.

If you find that the jitters are negatively impacting your presentations, we have the strategies you need to build confidence. And if you need more help, we’ll point you towards top-notch resources for beating presentation anxiety.

Understanding Presentation Anxiety

Presentation anxiety grips many of us before we step onto the stage. It’s that stomach-churning, sweat-inducing fear of public speaking that can turn even the most prepared speaker into a bundle of nerves. But why does this happen? Let’s break it down.

Common Triggers of Presentation Anxiety

First off, it’s important to know you’re not alone in feeling nervous about presenting. This type of anxiety is incredibly common and stems from various triggers. One major cause is the fear of judgment or negative evaluation by others. No one wants to look foolish or incompetent, especially in front of peers or superiors.

Another trigger is lack of experience. If you haven’t had much practice speaking in public, every presentation might feel like stepping into unknown territory. Then there’s perfectionism; setting impossibly high standards for your performance can make any slight mistake feel disastrous.

How Presentation Anxiety Manifests

The symptoms of presentation anxiety are as varied as they are unpleasant: dry mouth, shaky hands, racing heart—the list goes on. Oftentimes, these physical signs go hand-in-hand with mental ones like blanking out or losing your train of thought mid-sentence. In addition to affecting how you feel physically, anxiety also messes with your confidence levels and self-esteem.

By understanding presentation anxiety better, we realize its grip on us isn’t due to our inability but rather a natural response that can be managed with the right techniques and mindset adjustments.

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Strategies for Managing Presentation Anxiety Before the Event

Feeling jittery before taking the stage is a common plight, but let’s not let those nerves derail our success. Here are some tried and true strategies to help keep your cool.

Planning Like a Pro

Kicking off with solid planning can be your first line of defense against presentation anxiety. Initiate by segmenting your presentation into digestible sections. This could mean outlining main points or scripting it out entirely, depending on what makes you feel most prepared. A good resource that dives deep into effective planning is Toastmasters International , where you’ll find tips on structuring speeches that resonate.

An equally crucial part of planning involves researching your audience. Understanding who will be in front of you helps tailor your message and anticipate questions they might have, making you feel more confident and connected.

The Power of Practice

You’ve heard it before, but practice really does make perfect—or at least significantly less nervous. Running through your presentation multiple times lets you iron out any kinks and get comfortable with the flow of information. For an extra boost, simulate the actual event as closely as possible by practicing in similar attire or using the same technology you’ll have available during the real deal.

If solo rehearsals aren’t cutting it, try roping in a friend or family member to act as an audience. Not only can they offer valuable feedback, they can also help acclimate you to speaking in front of others—a critical step toward easing anxiety.

Breathing Techniques That Work Wonders

Last but definitely not least: don’t underestimate breathing techniques. They have the power to calm nerves fast when practiced regularly leading up to the big day. Headspace offers guided exercises that focus on controlled breathing methods designed specifically for stress management. These practices encourage mindfulness, which can center thoughts away from anxious feelings towards present tasks—like delivering an outstanding presentation. Incorporating these exercises daily can build resilience against last-minute jitters too.

Techniques During the Presentation

Say you’ve practiced your speech a dozen times but you’re still worried about the big day. What should you do then to beat presentation anxiety? Let’s take a look.

Engage with Your Audience

Talking to a room full of people can feel daunting, especially when you don’t know any of them. But remember, your audience is there because they’re interested in what you have to say. Make eye contact, smile, and ask rhetorical questions to keep them hooked. As you speak, don’t forget about the importance of body language since it communicates just as much as your words.

If you think engagement ends at asking questions, think again. Sharing personal stories or relevant anecdotes helps build a connection. It makes your presentation not just informative but also relatable and memorable.

Maintain Composure Under Pressure

If you’re palms are sweating and your heart is racing, know that it’s okay. Feeling your pulse quicken shows you’re invested in nailing that speech, yet it’s crucial not to let these sensations throw you off track. Practice deep breathing exercises before stepping onto the stage to calm those nerves.

Besides deep breathing, adopting power poses backstage can significantly boost your confidence levels. Although it may sound crazy, this is a tip from social psychologists that has helped many speakers take control of their anxiety. Just check out Amy Cuddy’s TED talk on body language to see for yourself.

Facing unexpected tech glitches or interruptions during your speech is par for the course. Stay calm and use humor if appropriate—it shows professionalism and adaptability.

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The Role of Technology in Managing Presentation Anxiety

When giving a presentation, it’s not uncommon for your slides or videos to suddenly turn on you, malfunctioning in some way. However, while technical issues are something to prepare for, they shouldn’t keep you from considering technology an ally against presentation anxiety. Let’s look at some ways that technology can help soothe your public speaking jitters.

Presentation Software Features

Gone are the days when speakers had to rely solely on their memory or paper notes. Modern presentation software not only allows you to create visually appealing slides but also comes with features designed specifically for speaker support. Tools like PowerPoint’s Presenter View or Keynote, give you a behind-the-scenes look at your notes and upcoming slides without showing them to the audience. This lets you stay on track discreetly.

Another gem is interactive polling through platforms such as Mentimeter or Poll Everywhere . Engaging your audience with real-time polls not only keeps them involved but also gives you brief moments to collect your thoughts and breathe.

Stress Management Apps

When it comes to taming those pre-presentation butterflies in your stomach, there’s an app for that too. Meditation apps like Headspace offer quick guided sessions that can be squeezed into any busy schedule. Taking even just five minutes before stepping onstage can significantly calm nerves and improve focus.

Breathing exercises have proven effective in managing stress levels quickly. The beauty of apps like Breathe2Relax , is that they provide structured breathing techniques aimed at reducing anxiety on-the-go. As a result, it’s perfect for those last-minute jitters backstage or right before a webinar starts.

Resources for Further Support

If you’re on a quest to conquer presentation anxiety, you’re not alone. It’s like preparing for a big game; sometimes, you need more than just pep talks. Thankfully, there are plenty of available aids out there to help support you on your journey.

Books That Speak Volumes

Finding the right book can be a lifesaver. “Confessions of a Public Speaker” by Scott Berkun gives an insider look at the highs and lows of public speaking with humor and wisdom. Another gem is “TED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking” by Chris Anderson, which pulls back the curtain on what makes talks memorable.

Beyond books, consider immersing yourself in stories of others who’ve walked this path before. A great way to do this is through podcasts or audiobooks focusing on overcoming fears and embracing confidence.

Professional Services: When You Need A Team

Sometimes self-help isn’t enough; maybe what you really need is someone in your corner guiding each step. That’s where expert coaches come in. These mentors can craft plans tailored uniquely to your situation, ensuring you’re equipped for every challenge.

Here at The Speaker Lab you’ll find plenty of resources and help if you’re looking to master the art of public speaking while tackling anxieties head-on.

Together, all these resources have one thing in common: they empower speakers at any stage of their journey towards becoming confident communicators ready to tackle any audience.

FAQs on Overcoming Presentation Anxiety

How do i overcome anxiety when presenting.

Practice your talk, know your stuff, and take deep breaths. Confidence grows with preparation and experience.

Why am I anxious about public speaking?

Fear of judgment or messing up in front of others triggers this anxiety. It’s our brain on high alert.

What is anxiety presentation?

Presentation anxiety is that jittery feeling before speaking publicly. It stems from fear of failure or negative evaluation.

What can I take for presentation anxiety?

Talk to a doctor first but beta-blockers or natural remedies like chamomile tea might help ease the jitters safely.

Feeling nervous before a presentation is common. However overwhelming it might feel, know that mastering this fear is possible. Remember: practice makes perfect. By prepping ahead of time and getting familiar with your content, you can dial down the nerves.

As you’re in the spotlight, make sure to maintain a lively interaction with those watching. This builds confidence on the spot. Tech tools are there for help too. They can streamline your preparation and delivery process significantly.

Don’t be shy about asking for more info if you’re looking for something specific. We’re here to help and make sure you find exactly what you need. So what are you waiting for? It’s time to get out there and nail that presentation!

• Last Updated: April 11, 2024

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How to Manage Your Anxiety When Presenting

Do you get nervous speaking in public? Learn how to mitigate your fear.

January 29, 2016

Tricia Seibold

For media inquiries, visit the Newsroom .

Explore More

Communicating through conflict: how to get along with anyone, power, culture, persuasion, and the self: communication insights from stanford gsb faculty, lose yourself: the secret to finding flow and being fully present, editor’s picks.

March 02, 2015 Matt Abrahams: Tips and Techniques for More Confident and Compelling Presentations A Stanford lecturer explains key ways you can better plan, practice, and present your next talk.

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Manage Presentation Anxiety to Become Confident Public Speaker

by Janice Tomich

• Fear of Public Speaking

I’m a public speaking coach, and I know that for a lot of people (including those you think look cool and composed on stage) the thought of public speaking creates a surge in anxiety levels. That anxious feeling is daunting because the out-of-control emotional rollercoaster usually overrides logic. Learning how to calm yourself down before a speech or presentation is an essential skill. 

When you don’t have the ability to calm yourself or manage your emotions it can stop you from volunteering to deliver a presentation (pass by an opportunity to be seen) or the reason for not sleeping well nights before the day you’re scheduled to be on stage. 

Presentation anxiety is an issue that clients often reach out to me for because having the ability to deliver presentations and communicate confidently is a skill that’s in high demand. It’s important that their ideas are heard. Direct reports look for strong public speaking and communication skills in their teams because it’s crucial to organizations that persuade and influence others without worrying they’ll be racked with anxiety.

Some of my clients described the anxiety as feeling weirdly outside of their body … out of touch with reality and as an outside observer looking at themselves. Their stressed out monkey mind takes control and they can’t figure out how to get out of the anxiety loop. 

Presentation anxiety can manifest in other ways such as excessive sweating, shaking or trembling, an octopus of knots in your stomach, or even nausea. It’s no fun when you waste time feeling the fear of public speaking before and during a presentation.

The bad news is when you’re on stage and feeling anxious it can have serious impact. So much so  that your mind goes blank because your amygdala has been hijacked . 

The good news is presentation anxiety (usually) can be managed. Just like anything else you learn and get better at, the tools and techniques can be worked through, however as always the caveat is they need dedication to a consistent practice. 

Investing your time to deliver presentations confidently is well worth the time compared to what happens to your career growth when you pass off presentations to your colleagues or decline speaking opportunities. 

Table of Contents

How Common Is Presentation Anxiety?

Public speaking anxiety can be managed.  You can’t entirely get rid of it, however there are tools and techniques to dampen down the anxiety and regulate it so you’re able to deliver speeches and presentations confidently. 

The National Institute of Mental Health reports that 73% of us humans are affected by public speaking anxiety . The primary reason that the anxiety happens is because we fear being judged by others.

Many of the people you see that speak at events have some degree of a fear of public speaking but they have learned how to tame their anxiety. Even to the point they enjoy delivering presentations. 

So, many people experience presentation anxiety…how will you tame your own nerves?

It is possible for most anyone to enjoy public speaking. Once you’ve managed your anxiety and delivered a presentation that you’re proud of there is an energy that happens when you connect with your audience and you’ll find you’ll want to invite more speaking opportunities because of the rush you get. 

Angela Ferarro Managing Director, International Education, Burnaby School District

(info on public speaking coaching package)

Steps To Manage Presentation Anxiety

Anxiety is fueled by the chattering, negative monkey brain that’s telling you stories that aren’t true such as, “this presentation is going to fall flat or what business do I have presenting?” 

Please know that the whiley monkey is lying to you. 

Getting rid of the monkey takes reeling your mind back and asking what’s really going on – figuring out what you’re believing that’s sabotaging your confidence. Then notice what you’re feeling. The feeling piece takes practice and patience because you need to slow down and listen. 

If you’ve spent years ignoring what triggers you it’s going to take some time and investigation to go inside and listen to what your emotions/feelings are telling you. 

The next step is acknowledging what you’re feeling and then letting it go. This visual works well: Visualize a nasty little gremlin on your shoulder that’s chattering away at you. Listen to it, thank it, and then in your mind’s eye make them dissolve/disappear. Give them a swat and send them on their way. To manage presentation anxiety take the time to go through each step – it’s is important to stop what fuels it. 

Without taking the time to learn where your anxiety is coming from you’ll have a difficulty managing public speaking anxiety. Or you might find that you’re doing okay and then for no reason – out of the blue – get bitten by it. 

It’s Not About You

It’s about your audience…what’s in it for them.

To help shift the spotlight off of yourself consider how your presentation will help your audience. Think too about why you’re grateful to be the person to deliver the message. How are you being of service? 

By taking the focus off of yourself and realizing that you are delivering a presentation to educate or provide a service/product to help others, your mindset shift will tame your anxiety. It’s because you’ve moved the spotlight off yourself and focussed it on your audience. From this perspective there is no/little room for you to experience anxiety. 

Pro Tip: You may think your anxiety or nervousness is obvious to others. It’s usually not. I’ve been privy to many conversations where the speaker shared they had been really anxious and thought they were obviously nervous. They are usually  surprised to hear that no one could tell. 

Carefully Plan And Prepare Your Presentation

It’s key that in the first stages of getting ready for your presentation you understand why you’re giving it. It’s how you will really understand if you have been successful (or not) and will help you get a good foundation of what your audience wants and needs to hear from you. 

You are an expert in what you’re presenting. Your audience is not. Be cautious about bombarding your audience with too much information. Take your subject matter expert hat off and think back to when you were learning your craft or the gaps of knowledge that your expertise fills. Keep it simple and stick to the facts. 

I’ve built a framework to create and develop presentations that are simple and focussed. You can access it here . My framework works well to stop audience overwhelm, so you don’t build in extra concepts that will confuse and lose your audience.   

Practice Deep Breathing

Most adults don’t know how to take a deep breath. When asked they think they do but can only take a breath from their upper chest. Their breathing is constricted. It’s been a habit that’s built over lots of years. 

Have you watched a young child or a baby breathe when they’re sleeping? Their lower belly expands and contracts as they breathe. That’s what you’re aiming for.

Are you skeptical about how well deep breathing works to calm nerves? You’ll find this article and this one that is proven research. Or prove it to yourself. If you have a smartwatch that records your heartbeat take a number of deep breaths and watch your heart rate go down. It’s magic how well deep breathing works to regulate nerves and anxiety.

If you find taking deep breaths difficult to master  (you’re an upper chest breather) this explainer video will help you visualize the mechanics of deep breathing.

I encourage you to do a round of two to three deep breaths each time you practice your presentation. And do a few rounds just before your presentation. And set an alert on your phone or watch for a few times a day. Check in. Are you taking deep breaths?

Deep breathing is a worthwhile exercise to master. You’ll feel calmer for it.

​​​​David Getzlaf Strategy Manager, Autonomy & Positioning, Hexagon

Turn Nervousness Into Positive Energy

There is a close connection to nervousness and excitement and reframing will change your perspective and tame your anxiety. 

Have you noticed that sometimes you tell yourself stories that aren’t true? Stories such as my colleagues won’t value what I’m sharing (they already know what I know) or there are people that know more about what I’m speaking about than I do. These types of stories breed anxiousness. 

Research tells us that by flipping the switch and using the word excited instead of negative ones will make us feel positive. 

There is a connection between words/thoughts that make us feel anxious and those that make us feel positive. 

The next time your thinking is going down a negative path, change your wording to excitement, which will change your perspective to a positive one. 

Practice Your Presentation

Practicing just until you’re confident that you have learned your presentation will ease your public speaking anxiety. You’ll notice that I used the word learned and not memorized. 

Memorizing your presentation will fuel anxiety. It’s too time consuming and tedious to learn your presentation word for word. And when you’re practicing or delivering your speech if you forget your place or even one word you have set yourself up for trouble. Which will reflect badly on your delivery and cause more anxiety. It’s too much pressure!

You’re better served to memorize your outline and then riff/expand off of your points. The result will be a presentation that comes off as being natural and you will be more comfortable delivering it. 

Only practice until you are tired of practicing and of hearing your voice. You might have a few rough spots and rather than practicing your presentation in its entirety simply practice those. 

It’s by knowing your presentation well that you’ll manage any anxiety that bubbles up. 

Visualize Your Success

Elite athletes ‘watch’ themselves driving the ball onto the green or scoring goals. It’s from this type of positive perspective that you’ll  create a feeling of comfort and ease – watching from the theatre of your mind deliver your presentation. 

Taking yourself through the actions of getting ready, arriving on the stage, delivering, and taking in the applause. Key though is you’re not only watching your success. You need to also feel success too. 

Feel Your Feet On The Ground 

Try this quick tip just as you are about to deliver your presentation ground yourself by feeling your feet on the ground. This is a mindfulness technique that will pull you to the present rather than letting your monkey mind sabotage you with anxiety. 

Interrupt Your Anxiety While On Stage

Did you know that Steve Jobs practiced Apple new product rollouts for months and months before the conference events? He meticulously practiced for what could go wrong and had a Plan B down to every detail. Do the same by giving thought to what you will do if your technology doesn’t work so you’re not caught without your Plan B if technology doesn’t go as planned. 

Speaking too quickly and not really feeling the depth of your words can accelerate your nerves. Take your time, breathe, and give your words time to land by using pauses. You’ll notice that your audience will find it easier to get your point and the connection that happens when you’re on the same wavelength as your audience. 

If you find yourself going blank and unable to remember what you wanted to speak to next buy yourself time by taking a few sips of water or referring to your notes. No one except you will realize that you’re gathering your thoughts.

If you’re lost and unsure about how to make your presentation compelling, I can help.

Give more presentations

When I returned to university as a mature student and struggled with a fear of public speaking I was determined to put it behind me. I made a point of volunteering for every opportunity I had to present to my cohort. It was naive because there is a foundation of skills that go hand and hand with practicing and raising your hand to every opportunity. 

Your presentation skills do get better with the more presentations you give. Presentation anxiety diminishes when you have experience successfully managing your anxiety, which builds confidence for the next one and so on. 

Performance Anxiety (Stage Fright) Disclaimer

Please seek medical support if you have severe performance anxiety.

If the techniques described above don’t make a difference to your anxiety level consider speaking with a medical professional. A medical professional can help with stage fright using cognitive behaviour techniques and by prescribing medications such as propranolol, which will slow down your heart rate and block adrenaline surges. 

I encourage you to reach out for help from your medical provider if your anxiety is severe. 

Most presentation anxiety can be managed so that you can deliver a presentation that is well received. It takes techniques such as shifting mindset, deep breathing to regulate your emotions, and practicing with the right focus. Managing presentation anxiety is doable and even better a goal that’s worthwhile. 

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Here's How to Overcome Presentation Anxiety

By rob biesenbach, july-august 2020.

If you’re like most people, then you get nervous or anxious before a presentation. It’s OK. Even professional speakers go through this.

The difference is in how you manage it. You can let the anxiety drive you crazy and even affect your performance, or you can meet it head-on and at least subdue it, if not conquer it.

Billions of words have been written about overcoming stage fright. Beyond the usual menu of tactics, I’m going to offer a way to reframe your thinking, with a healthy dose of tough love.

But first, let’s clear the air on an important issue.

Bust a popular myth.

One little factoid that we hear all the time is that people fear public speaking even more than death. Death! 

But while that’s the premise of a memorable Jerry Seinfeld bit — “Now this means to the average person, if you have to go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy” — nobody has found an actual study to support this claim.

I may be biased because I speak for a living but, personally, I would rather be up there doing the eulogy.

While some people suffer from truly debilitating anxiety that might require a deeper level of intervention, most people’s fear can be managed with a handful of simple tools. 

And, like I said, some tough love.

Check your ego at the podium.

When you explore the source of people’s speaking anxiety, it often comes down to the fear of making mistakes or looking dumb in front of colleagues or other people they need to impress. 

And some are self-conscious about their appearance or the sound of their voice.

For this group, I would say, “Get over it!”

Yes, get over it. That’s your ego talking. Your presentation is not about you, it’s about them — your audience.

Your only job is to provide useful information that will help them in some way, large or small — information that will lead them to change their thinking or even their behavior on a particular issue.

So set aside the notion of dazzling or impressing them. Turn the tables on your anxiety. Ask yourself, “How can I help today?” Show up to serve.

Manage your expectations.

Take note of the language I’m using here. It’s modest. Your impact may be small, but it’s useful. You will probably not rock their world and spark a 180-degree turnaround in their viewpoints or actions.

But if you can plant some seeds, give them some food for thought and prompt them to do some further exploration on an issue, then that’s a win.

While it’s true that a speech can change the world, most of them don’t. And they rarely, if ever, make that kind of impact entirely on their own.

So take the pressure off yourself and be modest in your ambitions.

Stop undermining your credibility.

We’ve all seen people visibly work themselves into a near-frenzy in the hours and days before a presentation, telling anyone and everyone how nervous they are. Maybe we’ve done it ourselves.

That’s a natural instinct — we’re talking things out and perhaps seeking reassurance that everything will be OK.

But beyond creating a self-perpetuating doom cycle of anxiety, this behavior seriously undermines your credibility as a professional.

Stop for a minute and think about the impression that you’re making on the people around you — those who look up to you and those who have a role in your future advancement.

This is about how we show up every day as professionals and as leaders.

Act like the leader you are.

When this issue comes up in my speeches and workshops, I often ask about that person’s regular, daily responsibilities. They walk through a few of the important things they do — managing budgets, counseling teammates, moving projects along.

Then I ask how they handle those duties. Do they conduct themselves with calm assurance, or do they run down the hallway like their hair is on fire?

Of course, it’s the former. The point is to treat a presentation like a normal part of your responsibilities. For PR pros, of course, communication is our job. But communication is the heart of everyone’s job, whether they’re managing teams, enlisting support for plans and initiatives, seeking compliance with policy or procedures, cultivating customer relationships or reassuring investors. 

So put yourself in the mindset that speaking in front of groups is simply one more of your normal duties and carry yourself accordingly. You’re cool, comfortable and contained.

In other words, you’re a leader.

Use the tactics for managing anxiety.

Those steps involve a major shift in thinking. Now let’s look at a few simple tactics that may be easier to implement:

• Understand your audience. What are their interests, needs, moods and objections? Use that insight to create truly relevant content and to forge a stronger connection. • Practice and prepare. There really isn’t a substitute for doing your homework and taking the time to practice. The better you know your material, the more poised and confident you will be. • Warm up. Before you go on, do some stretches to burn off excess energy, get your blood flowing and prepare your body. Take three deep breaths to calm yourself.

• Mingle (or don’t). Some speakers become energized by working the room beforehand — introducing themselves, getting to know audience members and asking questions. If you’re not wired that way, then that’s OK. Move on to the next step. 

• Focus. In the moments before you speak, put down your phone and think. Remind yourself of what you’re trying to accomplish and go through your intro in your head. That way, you’re more likely to hit the ground running and feel confident from the start. 

• Psych yourself up. Turn your nervousness into excitement. Convince yourself that you can’t wait to get out there, connect with people, share valuable information and make a difference — large or small — in people’s lives. • Ignore your mistakes. If you flub something, then keep going. The less you call attention to it, the less likely the audience will care or even notice. And silence your inner critic. Be cool.

Keep working at it.

Like anything else, the more you do it, the more you will improve. Many people have found Toastmasters to be a great way to get comfortable in front of groups. There are also plenty of books, training and coaching options to check out.

Put in the time to get better. Make it a priority. Yes, it’s a lot of work. But isn’t the benefit of relieving all of that anxiety worth it? photo credit: digitalvision vectors

Rob Biesenbach

Rob Biesenbach  helps leaders break free from death by PowerPoint, tell their story and communicate like humans should. He’s an in-demand speaker, workshop leader and coach, an award-winning communicator and a bestselling author. He’s worked with great organizations including AARP, Allstate, Caterpillar, Coca-Cola and Lockheed Martin.

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How to Socialize When You Have Social Anxiety Disorder

Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of The Anxiety Workbook and founder of the website About Social Anxiety. She has a Master's degree in clinical psychology.

Armeen Poor, MD, is a board-certified pulmonologist and intensivist. He specializes in pulmonary health, critical care, and sleep medicine.

Verywell / Jiaqi Zhou

• Performance Deficits
• Training Tips

How to Talk to People

• Conversations With Activities
• Nonverbal Communication

Frequently Asked Questions

Knowing how to talk to people when you have social anxiety disorder (SAD) can be difficult. Even after getting treatment , you may find that you lack some of the social skills needed to connect with people effectively. It is a hurdle that many people with SAD face but one which can be overcome with a little patience, practice, and insight.

Learn more about how to talk to someone if you have social anxiety.

Social Performance Deficits

The term social performance deficits describes gaps in communication skills that limit how well you interact with others. It is unclear whether social anxiety leads to real or perceived social performance deficits. The research has so far had mixed results.

Some studies have found that adolescents with social anxiety tended to rate their social performance poorly but that there doesn't seem to be a link between how they perceived themselves and how independent observers rated their performance. Other studies, however, have found that socially anxious people may indeed have social performance deficits that are noticeable to impartial observers.

One study found that people with SAD remember their social performances as being more negative than they actually are. The researchers found that 98% of those who viewed videos of themselves interacting socially with others said their performance was more favorable than they'd predicted.

Whether you have real or imagined social performance deficits, social anxiety can keep you from engaging in social interactions out of fear of rejection or embarrassment. Even after learning to control your anxiety, you may not know how to start a conversation, read body language, or identify social cues.

Social Skills Training Tips

Communication is about more than just speaking. Like any new experience, there may be stress and the occasional gaffe when you first start, and it's important to recognize that this is normal. By merely being present, things will improve, sometimes invisibly, as you become more accustomed to social situations .

Below are a variety of techniques to try that can help.

Expend Some Energy

Physical exercise can help you deplete some of the energy that would otherwise fuel your anxiety. Try finding a workout that you enjoy that increases your heart rate. In the long run, physical exercise has been shown to decrease anxiety and depression while boosting overall mood .

You can start feeling the stress-relieving effects of exercise after just one session. Try to work up a sweat before your next social outing and observe how you feel. Maybe you are less nervous leading up to, during, or after the event.

Start Small

If you're at a party or in a large group, socializing can feel especially overwhelming. Try not to be hard on yourself if there are many people in the room and you haven't talked to most of them. If you do know one or two people, you can start by talking to them.

If you don't know anyone, introducing yourself to one person is a great start. Pace yourself—you don't need to rush or talk to everyone in the room.

If you relax and focus on enjoying yourself, it's likely that others will start conversations with you as well.

Use Self-Help Tools

Try coming up with a mantra , or a word or phrase, that you can repeat to yourself when you feel stressed. Maybe you repeat to yourself, "I am at ease," or "I can relax." You can say anything that reminds you that you're not in any real, physical danger.

Take some deep breaths. Deep breathing calms down your nervous system and can reduce the "fight-or-flight" response that often occurs when people with SAD become overwhelmed. Try taking a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds, and releasing it.

Avoid Using Alcohol to Cope

It's tempting to use alcohol or other drugs to cope with social anxiety, especially if you think a substance will make you more talkative or more social.

While you might indulge in a social cocktail or two, avoid using alcohol or any other substance as an outlet for your social anxiety.

Substances that affect your mood, like alcohol, can easily make you feel more nervous to interact with others. Alcohol can also contribute to feelings of irritability and depression.

You're also less likely to act like yourself if you're misusing a substance . People can often tell if someone is being their authentic self or if they are under the influence of alcohol or drugs—it's best to be yourself.

Notice Body Language

If you want to indicate that you are open to socializing, avoid looking down at the floor or at your phone. Try to stand with good posture, arms by your side, and even a slight smile on your face. People take this as a sign that you are friendly and available for conversation.

You might be able to get a sense—simply by looking at someone—as to whether they are interested in having a casual conversation. Take a look at their body language.

Someone who is standing in a relaxed position and making eye contact with you will likely start a conversation or reciprocate if you start one.

Some people may look like they are unavailable. Maybe they're on their phone, looking down, and their body language indicates they're closed off. If this is the case, there's no need to force a social interaction. Maybe you wait a moment to see if their body language changes. Or, you can safely assume they are not in the mood to talk right now—and that's okay.

If you have social anxiety, you know that social interactions require a lot of energy. It's important that you replenish your energy and your mental health after you interact with people.

Congratulate yourself for putting yourself out there—it's not easy and you are improving your social skills every time you use them. Make sure you take time to relax . Self-care looks different for everyone, but some ideas include:

• Watching your favorite movie
• Cooking a nourishing meal
• Taking a warm bath
• Going for a long walk in nature
• Getting a massage

Self-care also means not being hard on yourself. If you have the tendency to replay every social interaction in your mind, criticizing yourself for what you said or didn't say, try to divert this energy and do something else instead.

Conversing is a skill, just like riding a bike; the more you do it, the better you will get. You can start conversations almost anywhere—waiting in line at the grocery store, walking in a park, or grabbing a drink at your local coffee shop.

Be Respectful

If you're looking to start a conversation, or join one that's already happening, be as polite as possible. This means not interrupting someone else when they are talking. Try to match the volume of your voice with your environment (if you're indoors, use your "indoor voice").

Avoid checking your phone or looking somewhere else while you talk or while someone else is talking. Maintaining eye contact will let the other person know you are listening.

Leaving a conversation  should be as graceful as possible, too. Even after a small conversation, people generally respond well if you say "Have a nice day," or "It was nice speaking with you," after a social interaction.

Don't Be Afraid to Start the Conversation

If someone else doesn't start the conversation, don't be afraid to initiate it yourself! If you are standing in line, for instance, it's a great opportunity to connect with someone since you'll likely be standing there for several minutes before you both change location.

It's a good idea to have some conversation starters in mind. For instance, a lot of people make casual conversation about the weather, especially if the weather has been unusual or unpredictable.

You might start up a conversation based on an observation on your surroundings. If you're in a park you might say, "I've never seen the park this crowded before!"

No matter what the topic is that you start with, remember that conversations are fluid.

Listen to what the other person says and be flexible when it comes to subject matters. As long as you are comfortable engaging with this person and feel safe talking about a topic, you can let the conversation flow naturally.

You might try to start a conversation with someone who doesn't respond. That's okay, too. Research shows that while strangers often ignore each other in public spaces, most of us feel more positive after interacting with another person. So, it's worth it to try to connect with other people, even if it doesn't work out.

Be Yourself

While you might have some small talk topics in your head, don't be afraid to express honest and real opinions. People tend to prefer genuine interactions than a template for conversation.

Be yourself! Being your authentic self will create more authentic conversations. When they feel like they know you better, they will likely feel safer and freer to be themselves, too.

Ask Questions

One study found that there is a link between question-asking and liking: Conversation partners who asked questions and follow-up questions were more liked than conversation partners who didn't ask questions at all.

Maybe you base your question off a common interest. For instance, if you're both in the same coffee shop, you might ask them what their favorite drink is to order. Or, if you're at a concert, maybe you ask the person how long they've been a fan of the musical artist.

Here again, body language is key. Face the person when you speak to them, as much as possible, while still respecting their personal space. Make eye contact. You might add in a nod or a smile here and there as you listen and respond to what they're saying.

Avoid Overthinking

You might be nervous during the conversation. One study observed that people consistently underestimated how much they were actually liked by their conversation partners—a phenomenon researchers coined, "the liking gap."

Try not to overthink it. If you find you have thoughts like, "I don't think they like me," or "I feel like I sound so stupid right now," try to let go of the negativity, take a breath, and refocus on what the other person is saying. Be in the moment.

View each conversation you have as practice. Reframing your experience can help you avoid the pitfalls of perfectionism and allow you to enjoy the moment more.

Even the smallest interactions can turn into friendlier encounters and good conversations. But not every conversation needs to be long or in-depth. Allow the experience to be whatever it is—however big or small—and look forward to your next opportunity to talk to someone.

Conversations With Activities Help Avoid Dry Conversations

To overcome dry conversations, put yourself in situations where you can combine conversation with activity . Invite a person to join you at a place where you can move about or focus on an activity if there is ever a hiccup in the conversation.

While lunches or dinners may be okay, there is really is nowhere to turn if the conversation runs dry (other than to comment on the food or surroundings). Instead, consider these options:

• Attending a sporting event
• Joining an exercise or yoga class
• Playing a sport or even a simple board game
• Shopping together
• Taking a walk or a hike
• Visiting a nursery or a farmer's market

Doing these activities together can help stimulate conversation and take some of the pressure off the back-and-forth volley of conversation.

Practice Nonverbal Communication

People with SAD tend to be unaware of the physicality of communication. As a result, they may create barriers that suggest they are distracted, disinterested, or disingenuous.

These behaviors may include:

• Inability to maintain eye contact
• Speaking too softly, too quickly, or with an unsure tone
• Standing too far away
• Smiling too much or too little
• Slouching or keeping your arms crossed
• Looking down

Body language awareness goes a long way. You can better communicate with others simply by making eye contact, smiling gently, and standing with your chin level to the ground and your arms by your side.

In fact, good posture is linked with feeling more confident. One study found that participants who sat upright, with good posture, for an extended time, reported feeling more confident and had higher levels of self-esteem than those who sat slumped, with poor posture.

These are just a few of the tips that can help you on the road to becoming socially interactive when you're living with social anxiety disorder. Ultimately, the most important thing to remember is that mistakes will happen and you will need to forgive yourself. We all have social mishaps—it's human—but it is only by making mistakes that we can learn and improve.

Avoid giving them any social cues (like sustained eye contact or approaching them) that would indicate you're open to having a conversation. If you want to leave a conversation that's already happening, you can give a reason such as "I need to make a phone call," or simply say, "Please excuse me," and walk away.

Social skills training (SST) is behavioral therapy that can help improve communication, peer relations, and problem solving. SST is often taught by a therapist or teacher in a group setting. SST can help you learn to communicate more effectively, be a better listener, and overcome social anxiety.

Social skills training (SST) can help you overcome your fear or anxiety around people by teaching you new ways of communicating, allowing you to practice social interactions, and giving you constructive feedback. SST can help reduce the level of distress you feel in social situations.

Maybe, but remember that talking to people online isn't the same as talking to them in person. While talking to people online can help you get comfortable with back and forth conversation and coming up with things to say, an in-person conversation requires different social skills—such as body language and other social cues—that are best learned by practicing them.

Asbrand J, Tuschen-Caffier B. Taking a closer look at social performance in childhood social anxiety disorder: Biopsychosocial context considerations and effects of cognitive behavior therapy . Children (Basel) . 2022;9(10):1515. doi:10.3390/children9101515

Warnock-Parkes E, Wild J, Stott R, Grey N, Ehlers A, Clark DM. Seeing Is believing: Using video feedback in cognitive therapy for social anxiety disorder . Cogn Behav Pract . 2017;24(2):245-255. doi:10.1016/j.cbpra.2016.03.007

Halls G, Cooper PJ, Creswell C. Social communication deficits: Specific associations with social anxiety disorder . J Affect Disord . 2015;172:38-42. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2014.09.040

Harvard Health Publishing. Can exercise help treat anxiety? .

Harvard Health Publishing. Relaxation techniques: Breath control helps quell errant stress response .

Epley N, Schroeder J. Mistakenly seeking solitude . J Exp Psychol Gen . 2014;143(5):1980-1999. doi:10.1037/a0037323

Huang K, Yeomans M, Brooks AW, Minson J, Gino F. It doesn’t hurt to ask: Question-asking increases liking . J Pers Soc Psychol . 2017;113(3):430-452. doi:10.1037/pspi0000097

Boothby EJ, Cooney G, Sandstrom GM, Clark MS. The liking gap in conversations: Do people like us more than we think? . Psychol Sci. 2018;29(11):1742-1756. doi:10.1177/0956797618783714

Howell AN, Zibulsky DA, Srivastav A, Weeks JW. Relations among social anxiety, eye contact avoidance, state anxiety, and perception of interaction performance during a live conversation . Cogn Behav Ther . 2016;45(2):111-22. doi:10.1080/16506073.2015.1111932

Nair S, Sagar M, Sollers J, Consedine N, Broadbent E. Do slumped and upright postures affect stress responses? A randomized trial . Health Psychol. 2015;34(6):632-641. doi:10.1037/hea0000146

Beidel DC, Alfano CA, Kofler MJ, Rao PA, Scharfstein L, Wong Sarver N.  The impact of social skills training for social anxiety disorder: A randomized controlled trial .  J Anxiety Disord . 2014;28(8):908-18. doi:10.1016/j.janxdis.2014.09.016

By Arlin Cuncic, MA Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of The Anxiety Workbook and founder of the website About Social Anxiety. She has a Master's degree in clinical psychology.

• For General Anxiety
• For Panic Attacks
• For Fears and Phobias

Presentation Anxiety: How to Overcome Stage Fright (Complete Guide)

Tyler Ellis

Glossophobia, the fear of public speaking, is thought to affect as much as 75% of the population. For both students and professionals alike, this phobia tends to take the form of presentation anxiety. So, how can we overcome stage fright and presentation anxiety once and for all?

While avoiding presentations may bring some short-term relief to your anxiety, this will worsen your stage fright in the long-run. To overcome presentation anxiety long-term, presentation tools and gradual practice are the most effective solutions.

Maybe, right now, you’re extremely anxious about a presentation coming up. Maybe the only thought racing through your mind is how in the world am I going to get out of giving this presentation?

No worries. This guide is going to cover everything – and I mean everything – you’ll need to know. Make sure not to skip the section on “alternative ways of presenting,” I think you’ll find those really useful!

No need to stress; let’s get right into this.

What Causes Presentation Anxiety?

First things first… why do we feel presentation anxiety in the first place?

Sure, we might expect our heart to pound and breathing to accelerate as we walk along the edge of a cliff – but during a presentation? What part of talking about George Washington Carver inventing peanut butter should cause our hands to tremble and our voice to stutter?

Well, as it turns out, presentation anxiety is caused by ancient mechanisms in our brain responsible for our survival. For anxious people, our brain perceives being the center of attention in large group to be a threat. This triggers the “fight or flight” response, causing us to panic as we try and escape our uncomfortable setting.

Obviously, we are in no real danger while giving a class presentation or work presentation. Many years of evolution, however, have trained us to avoid stage fright with a passion. In ancient times, being surround by a (potentially angry) mob could have fatal consequences; as could being humiliated, rejected, or otherwise cast out from the tribe.

For many of us – especially those of us prone to social anxiety – such fears have stuck with us since caveman times. It’s important we remember these fears are harmless. Just being aware of their nature can help with this process. Despite what your brain and body may be telling you, these feelings of anxiety are not dangerous; they are going to pass.

Feel free to check out this article for a better understanding of the evolutionary psychology behind anxiety .

How to Get Out of a Presentation

I recommend against avoidance in most cases, as it only reinforces our anxiety in the long-run.

However, I know what it’s like to be a student with presentation anxiety.

I know how hard it is juggling academics, a social life, relationships, and newly blossoming anxieties all at once. I know that it can get so bad the most logical option feels like dropping out of school altogether. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do that.

So, if you’re really just not ready to overcome your stage fright:

• Intentionally Choose Classes That Don’t Require Presentations
• Tell the Teacher or Professor About What You’re Going Through
• Ask the Teacher or Professor for Alternative Assignments
• For Group Presentations, Ask Someone Else to Take the Lead
• Present Your Assignment in an Alternative Format Using Presentation Tools and Software (more on this in a bit)

If this seems a bit vague, it’s only because I’ve actually dedicated an entire article to this topic already. Check out this piece on how to get out of giving a presentation in class for more help with this.

Like I said, ultimately, avoidance is a poor strategy. However, I believe it’s just as detrimental to be “forced” into facing our fears before we are mentally prepared to do so. Having been there myself, I want you to be able to rest easy knowing that you do have some options here.

For this guide, however, I want to focus more on how to actually overcome presentation anxiety and stage fright.

My secret is – believe it or not – I get incredibly nervous before public speaking, no matter how big the crowd or the audience and, um, despite the fact that I laugh and joke all the time I get incredibly nervous, if not anxious, actually, before going into rooms full of people when I'm wearing a suit... And now that I've confessed that, I'll probably be even more worried that people are looking at me.

Prince Harry - Duke of Sussex, Member of the British Royal Family

How to Stop a Panic Attack While Presenting in Class

When I first started having panic attacks, I had no idea what they were or why they were happening. Prior to my first panic attack, I had never had an issue with public speaking or presentation anxiety at all. In fact, I had voluntarily participated in several clubs and activities that required public speaking.

Yet, when my first few panic attacks started (I was around 16 at the time), they would occur in any random situation. Wherever they occurred, I'd quickly develop a phobia associated with that location or situation. One such random panic attack occurred – you guessed it – during a class presentation.

While this experience was terrifying, embarrassing, and extremely uncomfortable, I had – fortunately – managed to keep it together enough for most people not to notice. For the many class presentations that would follow, however, I had to develop some tricks to stop panic attacks while presenting in class.

Here’s what worked for me:

• Volunteer to go first. This may seem strange, but I always felt it easier to volunteer first and get it out of the way. Oftentimes, it’s easier to deal with presentation anxiety when we don’t feel cornered. By choosing to do it yourself, you maintain some control of the situation and get the jump on things before anticipation anxiety kicks in .
• Remember you are not going to die. This is just a panic attack, and it’s going to pass. It may be uncomfortable, but it will be over within a few moments.
• Take control of your breathing. 478 breathing is a simple technique that works. Simply breathe in for 4 seconds through the nose, hold for 7 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds through the mouth.
• Find a focus object. Choose a point, or several points, to focus on in the room. This could be a ceiling tile, a lightbulb, a pile of books, anything. Whenever your thoughts start to wander or spiral out of control, recenter your thoughts on that focus object.
• Try and remember the other times you’ve given a class presentation with anxiety. Chances are, this isn’t your first time. Remember those past successes and visualize this presentation as one where you overcome stage fright as well. If your mind is drawn to a time when it didn’t go so well, at least remind yourself that it passed and you survived it; just as you’ll survive this one.
• If you have a friend in the class, look to them from time to time. Flash them a smile or a wink, and try not to laugh out loud while you’re up there. This may seem silly, but I’d rather stifle a laugh than grapple a panic attack.
• Remember that no one’s really paying attention. Just as you were sitting at your desk nervously thinking about your own turn to present, most people are doing the exact same now. And even if they’re not anxious, they’re probably zoned out or drifting off; it’s quite difficult to keep an involuntary crowd’s attention. Trust me, they’re probably not thinking about you much.

These are just a few ways to stop a panic attack while presenting in class. Of course, just about any method for stopping panic attacks can work well here, so feel free to explore our site a bit to learn some other methods.

There are only two types of speakers in the world:

1. The nervous

Mark Twain - American humorist, novelist, and travel writer

Alternative Ways of Presenting to Help Overcome Stage Fright

If you take nothing else from this article, I believe that this is the section that can help anxious students and professionals with stage fright the most. When I was dealing with presentation anxiety myself, most of these options didn’t even exist. If you’re anxious about standing in front of class and presenting, any of these could be fantastic alternatives to presenting.

Basically, any of these presentation software tools can help you to quickly create a visually stunning presentation; all without having to speak in front of the class. They utilize audio, video, and/or animation to create informative videos that get the point across even more effectively than conventional presentations.

For the most part, all a teacher or boss really cares about is that you: 

• Put hard work and dedication into your assignment
• Learned something throughout the process
• Are able to communicate what you learned to educate your peers

Telling the teacher “Sorry, I just can’t present today,” won’t meet any of these points, and is likely to land you a failed grade.

Instead, ask your teacher if you can use one of these presentation tools to create an even more engaging and informative presentation. This way, it’ll seem like you’ve put in the most effort in the class, rather than the least; all without having to speak in front of the class.

Here are the automated presentation tools I currently use myself and recommend:

I go into much greater detail on these tools here: automated presentation software . Before buying anything, I strongly suggest giving that article a read. Otherwise, Toonly and Doodly are my top picks.

What is the Best Presentation Anxiety Medication for Stage Fright?

Giving a presentation in high school or college can be extremely stressful for many people. If standing in front of the class feels like an impossible task, you may be wondering about presentation anxiety medication. So… what are the best drugs for presentation anxiety?

Since I’m not a doctor, I can only offer you a friendly opinion here.

In general, I think it’s a good idea to steer clear of anti-anxiety medication whenever it isn’t absolutely necessary. If your doctor prescribes you presentation anxiety medication, so be it. In the long-run, however, this can often create cycles of reliance and dependence that are best avoided.

But what about taking an over-the-counter supplement for anxiety before a presentation?

I have personally found one supplement to help me relax and communicate more confidently. This is my favorite supplement for stage fright, as it has helped me tremendously in situations where I would normally feel a bit socially anxious. I’ve used this supplement for presentations, job interviews, and even first dates.

My favorite supplement for presentation anxiety symptoms is phenibut. It just helps me feel significantly calmer while simultaneously boosting my sociability and confidence. This supplement is extremely affordable and legally sold online in most countries. If you want to learn a bit more about it, I have an article going into greater depth about phenibut here.

I do urge responsibility when using phenibut, as you don’t want to become reliant on it. But if it makes the difference between shirking your presentation vs. delivering a great one, I highly recommend it.

Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning

Winston Churchill - Former Prime Minister of the UK, Famous Orator

Tips for How to Present a Project Effectively

Few things help to eliminate anticipation anxiety like truly preparing for the situation. If your fears are rooted in delivering a poor or ineffective presentation, take some time to prepare.

Here are some tips for how to present a project effectively:

How to Overcome Stage Fright and Presentation Anxiety

There are many strategies we can take when dealing with our presentation anxiety or stage fright. Here are three of the most common strategies:

• Complete Avoidance – Post-college, public speaking occasions like presentations are pretty few and far between. As an adult, it isn’t too difficult to avoid presentations, although not overcoming stage fright can be a hinderance in many career fields.
• Reluctant and Occasional – Here’s where most people in the world probably fall. Most of us aren’t 100% comfortable with presenting, yet we suck it up and get it done when we have to. This isn’t a bad place to be, although it's uncomfortable occasionally.
• Conquering Presentation Anxiety – Some brave souls will choose to completely crush their fear of public speaking, overcoming stage fright and glossophobia entirely. This path is not for the faint of heart, as it isn’t easy; however, it has the largest payoff in the end with regard to career and confidence.

We’ve already discussed strategies for the first two earlier in this guide. Let’s now focus on the third.

How can we overcome presentation anxiety and glossophobia?

Well, whenever we want to eliminate a fear or phobia long-term, the best way to do so is through exposure therapy. We do have a full article on how to extinguish fears through exposure therapy if you’re curious to really understand this process.

For now, I’ll fill you in on the basics:

By gradually stepping outside of our comfort zone and exposing ourselves to our fears, we can eliminate those fears over time. The key here is that we are stepping a bit outside our comfort zone, but not immersing ourselves so fully to induce panic. In other words: challenge yourself at a fair pace.  

So how do we apply this to overcome presentation anxiety and stage fright?

My suggestion would be to identify the smallest voluntary step you can take outside of your comfort zone without panicking. Perhaps presenting may induce a panic attack, but are you at least able to read aloud from your seat? Perhaps reading aloud is difficult, but could you at least volunteer an answer from time to time?

This process will be as unique as a fingerprint for each person, as we all have different comfort zones and stressors. Try and find where your comfort zone ends and take small steps just outside of it. With repeated practice, you’ll notice your comfort zone expanding as you become more confident with the activity.

In general, here are some opportunities you may find useful for stepping outside of your comfort zone:

• Start raising your hand more often to ask or answer questions
• Volunteer to read aloud or answer a problem on the board whenever you’re feeling confident
• Create a presentation using presentation software (recommendations above), but see if you can actually get through it without relying on the audio. If you get too nervous, you can use it
• Rather than trying to get out of a presentation, ask your groupmates if you could take a lesser role with speaking; perhaps you could do more of the research to make up for it
• Seek out your local Toastmasters group to practice public speaking away from the pressures of your own social circles
• Try and attend small open mic nights and similar opportunities to gain experience with public speaking

Fun Fact: I successfully avoided presentations for the majority of my high school and college career. Afterward, I wound up working several jobs that forced me to confront this fear. First came a sales job, and next came a job that required me to speak in front of 150-200 people multiple times per day.

Turns out, I liked money more than I disliked public speaking.

List of Famous People with Public Speaking Anxiety

Sometimes a bit of solidarity goes a long way. Here’s a list of famous/successful people who have long been known to have suffered from public speaking anxiety:

• Winston Churchill
• Mahatma Gandhi
• Abraham Lincoln
• Prince Harry
• Warren Buffet
• Mark Zuckerberg
• Sigmund Freud
• Arnold Schwarzenegger
• Tiger Woods
• Rowan Atkinson
• Jackie Chan
• Thomas Jefferson
• Margaret Thatcher
• Princess Diana
• Eleanor Roosevelt
• Sir Richard Branson

As you can see… we’ve got some big names up there. And this is just a very small list of successful people who have been open about their public speaking anxiety – to say nothing of the silent majority!

Never forget, you’re far from alone in experiencing this – you can absolutely overcome presentation anxiety, stage fright, and glossophobia if you wish to!

Unlock the Secrets  to Managing Anxiety  without Harmful Meds

Not next week. Not tomorrow. Today. 

Getting started is easy with our #1 recommended online anxiety course.

For a limited time,  click here to watch the first few lessons of Anxiety Academy completely free. Like what you see? Access the rest of the course, all future course updates, plus lifetime access to our exclusive online community, for a small one-time payment today!

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About the Author

Years of personal experience with anxiety disorders and panic attacks have led me to devise some pretty creative ways to keep my anxiety in check. In the past, anxiety and panic attacks felt like something I'd have to live with forever. Nowadays, panic attacks are a distant memory for me, and I'm free to pursue passions like writing and traveling the world. Hopefully, the information on this website can help you achieve the same. I do all the writing here myself, so don't hesitate to reach out with questions!

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How to not be nervous for a presentation — 13 tips that work (really!)

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Why do I get nervous before presenting?

How not to be nervous when presenting, 5 techniques to control your nerves, quotes for inspiration, speak with confidence.

If you feel nervous or scared about talking to someone new, giving a speech, or being on stage, rest assured: you’re not alone. 

Experiencing symptoms of performance anxiety like an increased heart rate, trembling hands, or excessive sweating is perfectly normal. In fact, people often fear public speaking . But the more you’re immersed in these types of situations, the more comfortable you’ll become . 

We’ll explore how to not be nervous for a presentation and offer inspirational quotes to help you step out of your comfort zone.

Based on data from the National Social Anxiety Center, fear of public speaking is the most common phobia . The official term for this fear is glossophobia, colloquially termed stage fright.

Stage fright typically arises from the perception that when you're in front of a group of people, they'll judge you. The brain’s frontal lobe aids in memory, and when we’re stressed, increased stress hormones temporarily shut that region down . This is what causes us to freeze up and stop talking. 

There’s nothing wrong with being nervous. We all have different social comfort zones, communication styles, and presentation skills. But we can expand and improve our skills if we’re cognitively flexible .

Cognitive flexibility plays a big role in our behavior and attitudes and impacts our performance. You can use your fears as a catalyst for growth and learning — including giving a great presentation.

The following techniques will help you shift your thinking from reactive to proactive to combat nerves throughout the presentation experience:

Before the presentation:

1. Know your topic

Don’t wing it when it comes to presenting any topic. The better you understand your subject matter, the more confident you’ll feel. You can answer questions right away and won’t have to rely on your notes.

If there are a few points or any information you think might arise during the presentation or Q&A, research it and become comfortable speaking to the subject.

Here are a few ways to study: 

• Break down concepts onto notecards
• Practice answering questions  (especially the hard ones you hope no one asks)
• Explain complex information to peers and colleagues

2. Be organized

Take time to thoroughly plan each aspect of the presentation. Often, that means designing PowerPoint slides or other visual aids like videos. Clarify with the organizer what format and technology you’ll be using.

If it’ll be virtual, get your background and room organized, too. This ensures the presentation will go smoothly, in turn reducing stress.  Consider the following preparations:

• Invite your support network to the event
• Arrive early to set up tech and get comfortable in the space
• Practice timing your presentation with the time tracker you’ll use day-of
• Bring a water bottle and a snack
• Contact your manager or venue staff to discuss any accessibility or tech concerns

3. Practice, practice, practice

Whether you’re rehearsing in front of a mirror, family member, or pet, you can never practice enough. Ask for feedback about your body language , eye contact , and how loudly you project your voice.

If you’ll be giving the presentation on a video conference, record it on the platform to see how you look and sound.

4. Visualize your success

Thinking through possible outcomes is a great way to prepare — but it can also backfire on you. If you obsess over negative what-ifs, this failing mentality might become a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

The more often you fill your mind with positive thoughts and visualize your success, the more automatic they’ll be. Positive self-talk can make a big difference to your confidence. Run through the presentation — successfully — in your head.

During the presentation:

5. Focus on your material, not the audience

Your audience is there for your presentation — not to assess you. They’ll be looking at your colorful slides and listening to what you’re saying. Don’t let your mind fill with insecurities . 

6 . Don't fear silence

If your mind suddenly goes blank, that’s okay. It may seem like an eternity to you as you try to figure out what to say next, but it’s only a few seconds at most. 

Pausing isn’t a bad thing, anyway. You can use dramatic breaks advantageously to draw attention before the most important bits. 

7 . Speak slowly

Presentation anxiety often causes nervous energy, so we speak faster than normal. This might make you fumble your words or forget important details.

Slow down. Audience members will be thankful since they can understand you , and drawing out your speech will give you time to calm down, ground yourself , and stay organized.

8 . Take deep breaths and drink water

Breathing delivers oxygen to your brain, allowing you to think more clearly. Drinking water ups your energy, and also gives you a moment to pause. 

Smiling is a simple yet effective way to soothe your nerves. Doing so releases endorphins, helping you physically feel more confident. And a friendly face will make the audience more open to what you’re saying. 

10 . Remember the three "audience truths"

These include: 1) for the duration of the presentation, the audience believes you’re the expert, 2) they’re on your side, and 3) they don’t know when you make a mistake. 

After the presentation:

11. Recognize your success

Giving a presentation is something worth being proud of — celebrate it! In addition to family, friends, and coworkers, you deserve a high five from yourself, too.

1 2. Collect feedback

Feedback is a wonderful gift if you use it as a tool to help you do even better next time. Ask some of your audience members what they liked and what they didn’t. Remember, you can learn a lot from your mistakes . 

1 3. Don't beat yourself up

You did the best you could, and that’s all anyone — including you — can ask for. 

Nervousness is perfectly normal, but sometimes our symptoms hold us back from doing — and enjoying — scarier tasks. Here are five tips for overcoming nerves:

1. Practice impression management

Impression management requires projecting an image that contradicts how you actually feel. It’s essentially a “fake it ‘til you make it” strategy.  Let’s say you’re about to make a corporate-wide presentation and feel worried you’ll forget important information. You’ll counteract this worry by imagining yourself remembering every detail and delivering it entertainingly.

Learn from this practice by noting the information chosen in your hypothetical and how you expressed it effectively. 

2. Talk to someone

Emotions are contagious. We absorb others’ positive vibes . Chatting with people who are excited about and confident in our presentation abilities rubs off on us. 

Before a presentation, call a cheerleader in your life — someone who’s on your side and understands your nerves. Be specific, discussing which parts of presenting are nerve-wracking and what you need from them.

3. Do breathing exercises

Mindful breathing is when you pay attention to the sensation of inhaling and exhaling while controlling and deepening breath length. Breathwork has several health benefits, including reducing stress and anxiety and improving memory, attention, and focus. 

Before the presentation, find a quiet and solitary space. Breathe deeply for at least a minute, focusing on sensation and depth. This practice brings you into your body and out of your mind (away from nerve-wracking thoughts).

4. Practice reframing 

Reframing is a technique used in cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) to improve negative automatic thought patterns over time. One such pattern is viewing certain emotions as bad, and others as good. Nervousness feels the same in the body as excitement. Instead of panicking even more when realizing you’re nervous, reframe your impression of nerves as excitement for what you’re about to do.

This excitement will propel you forward with confidence and pride for stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something scary.

Here are seven inspirational quotes to help you feel confident and excited when doing something you’re nervous about:

“You can speak well if your tongue can deliver the message of your heart.” John Ford

“ When speaking in public, your message — no matter how important — will not be effective or memorable if you don't have a clear structure. ” Patricia Fripp

“The most precious things in speech are the pauses.”  Sir Ralph Richardson

“The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid.” Lady Bird Johnson

“It’s what you practice in private that you will be rewarded for in public.” Tony Robbins

“The worst speech you’ll ever give will be far better than the one you never give.” Fred Miller

Like any other skill, learning how to not be nervous for a presentation takes time and practice. Acknowledging this hurdle is the first step to making a change in the right direction.  Facing your fears will empower you to take on scarier — and more fulfilling — goals and enjoy the experience along the way. You don’t have to start with a TED Talk. Tackle small challenges like presenting an idea to your manager or practicing a short speech with a friend.  We won’t sugarcoat it — it’s hard to change our minds and habits. But if you’re willing to put in the effort, you’ll be rewarded with increased confidence and new experiences.

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Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships. With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

30 presentation feedback examples

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How to Overcome Social Anxiety: 8 Techniques & Exercises

I’ve tried going before, but at the door I blushed and started sweating. I just knew everyone would stare at me, judge me, and laugh at me.

I’ll just sit this one out too, pretend to be sick or something …

If this sounds like your typical diary entry, then you might struggle with social anxiety disorder. Experiencing social anxiety, which is closely related, is very common, and the two can be confused.

In this article, we outline ways to cope with mild social anxiety (not the clinical disorder) and provide helpful tips, tricks, and exercises to help you prepare for upcoming social occasions.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Stress & Burnout Prevention Exercises (PDF) for free . These science-based exercises will equip you and your clients with tools to better manage stress and find a healthier balance in your life.

This Article Contains

• The Difference Between Social Anxiety & Social Anxiety Disorder

Symptoms of Social Anxiety

Social anxiety in the workplace, social anxiety and public speaking, can you overcome social anxiety 3 techniques, self-help exercises for managing social anxiety, 3 books about social anxiety, helpful resources from positivepsychology.com, a take-home message, frequently asked questions, the difference between social anxiety & social anxiety disorder.

Most of us experience moments of shyness, tension, nervousness, or anxiety around social events. Sometimes it can be as simple as butterflies in the stomach when expecting to meet new people at a party.

Physical reactions such as these signal that the situation is important enough to want to make a good impression. When our bodies are activated in this way, we are often galvanized into action (Weissman & Mendes, 2021).

However, the mild nervousness and shyness of social anxiety every now and again must not be confused with social anxiety disorder .

Social anxiety disorder , sometimes referred to as social phobia, is a type of clinical anxiety disorder whereby an individual’s persistent fear of being watched or judged by others impedes everyday functioning.

Individuals with this disorder may ruminate on planned social events weeks in advance and may actively avoid social situations completely. The disorder can be so intrusive and cause such distress to individuals that even simple tasks, such as buying groceries or visiting family, are impossible to do (Stein & Stein, 2008).

To be diagnosed with social anxiety disorder by a qualified mental health professional, individuals may experience several criteria as outlined by the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).

Criteria include:

• A persistent fear of social situations in which the individual fears being exposed to the scrutiny of others, or the fear of acting in a way that will be embarrassing or humiliating
• Avoiding social situations or enduring them with intense fear or anxiety
• The fear or anxiety is not proportional to the actual threat posed by the social situation.
• The fear or anxiety is so intense that it affects normal functioning.
• Lasting for six months or more
• The fear, anxiety, or avoidance is not because of a medical condition, substance use, or other mental disorder.

In these instances, the help of a therapist is needed. Let’s look at the symptoms of social anxiety to clarify where the line should be drawn.

These are fairly generic symptoms that occur when the autonomic nervous system (ANS; our fight-or-flight system ) becomes activated (Cannon, 1932), and the body is flooded with epinephrine (adrenaline).

Couple this with a decrease in gamma-aminobutyric acid (a main inhibitory neurotransmitter), which for most individuals is turned down during social situations, and you may feel tense and anxious. This activation happens when an event or situation is seen as stressful, whether the perception is accurate or not.

While chronic stress is extremely detrimental to the body — because of the continuous activation of the ANS (McEwen & Stellar, 1993) — mild stress can actually be helpful in enhancing performance (Kofman et al., 2006) and spurring action.

Usually when this happens, the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) activates in order to counter the activation of the ANS, by releasing hormones that downregulate the mind and body and help us relax (Sapolsky, 2004).

So when tackling mild social anxiety, the key is to activate the PNS. Below, we will outline useful techniques to activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

Download 3 Free Stress & Burnout Prevention Exercises (PDF)

These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you or your clients with tools to manage stress better and find a healthier balance in their life.

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Given that we can all feel the effects of social anxiety at one time or another, how can we actively tackle such feelings? And how do we cope in stressful environments, such as work?

Coping with social anxiety at work

When those familiar feelings of anxiety emerge at work, individuals face a tough decision: to struggle ahead in silence or take a timeout. Ideally, this is the ability to step away and take a few minutes to apply grounding techniques, as an example. More on that below.

It is strongly recommended that all organizations and employers build supportive cultures where individuals feel able to take such a break. While discussions of mental health in the workplace are fortunately now more commonplace, there is still some way to go to normalize the pervasiveness of anxiety in the human experience.

Strategies for reducing workplace anxiety

To calm anxious feelings at work, individuals can tap into several key techniques that should help to turn things around quickly.

The primary aim here is to activate the PNS. When feeling anxious, it is hard to feel grounded. The mind is spiraling with unhelpful thoughts.

Grounding techniques work by helping the mind focus on the body and the present moment. This can help you feel calmer and more centered.

Below are three highly effective types of grounding techniques.

Breathing techniques

The breath is miraculous! By simply concentrating on breathing, the nervous system can be actively downregulated, and within no time at all, anxious moments may dissipate.

One example is to breathe in for four seconds, hold the breath for four seconds, and breathe out slowly over a count of eight seconds. There are many variations of this breathing technique, but essentially, breathing out for longer than breathing in helps slow a racing heart.

Touching the body can be an excellent way to soothe and calm the nervous system, particularly areas that are not associated with anxiety. This includes rubbing your earlobes or elbows, which cannot themselves hold tension or anxiety in them.

Touch is powerful; it is often used in therapeutic settings for the very purpose of relieving anxiety and has also been effective in reducing pain.

When feeling anxious, individuals should try to distract the mind from worrying. An alternative and equally effective technique to breathing exercises  is to focus on counting.

Counting can be particularly powerful when paired with observation of the surroundings. A popular example is to find five things that can be seen, four things that can be felt, three things that can be heard, two things that can be smelled, and one thing that can be tasted.

When doing this exercise, try to be as specific as possible and provide lots of detail with what is sensed.

It’s so intimidating in fact, that researchers often use the notion of having to speak in public to induce individuals into stressful states during experiments (see Kirschbaum et al., 1993).

Indeed, public speaking is the ultimate trigger for social anxiety because it involves purposefully exposing oneself to the opinions and judgments of others.

Overcoming public speaking anxiety

To prepare for an upcoming speech, public-speaking anxiety can be overcome similarly as other stressful events: by focusing on strategies to calm the nervous system.

Tips and strategies for delivering a confident speech

1. prepare well.

Practice, practice, practice! This might be an obvious tip, but by rehearsing the speech more confidence is built about delivering the speech.

This confidence can help offset some of the nervousness experienced.

2. Manage breathing

Engage in breathing exercises before delivering the speech. As mentioned earlier, slowing down breathing is a simple yet powerful way to downregulate the body.

When feeling those familiar anxiety symptoms before giving a speech, practice slow, deep breaths. Pair this with any of the aforementioned grounding or relaxation techniques to amplify the benefits and bring you back into the present moment.

3. Burn energy

Harness some of that nervous energy and take action. Do star jumps or jumping jacks before the speech to blow off steam. During the speech, individuals can move around and gesture to consume even more nervous energy.

4. Visualize success

Before the event, spend a few minutes visualizing the delivery of a successful speech or presentation. Imagine the audience responding positively and see yourself feeling calm and collected.

If you recognize yourself as someone who often experiences social anxiety and are wondering what other steps you can take to reduce the frequency and/or intensity of these experiences, the key resides in being proactive .

If we simply do nothing and then try desperately to reduce anxiety when it rears its head in a stressful moment, we may very well be ill prepared to manage it effectively.

Given that it is not possible to avoid stressful events, the focus should be to learn how to better cope with them. By building internal resources , a stressful event can be navigated with ease.

Below are three preventive practices that will help build all-important psychological resources, such as resilience, positive coping, positive emotions, and self-esteem.

Physical exercise

The benefits of regular exercise to both physical and mental health are well documented (Penedo & Dahn, 2005).

By acting as a protective buffer against disease and psychological distress, exercise is one surefire way to bolster internal resources. Exercise boosts the experience of positive emotions, which in turn helps accrue psychological resources (see the broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions ; Fredrickson, 2001).

Mindfulness practice

Mindfulness is another superpower that can help stock up internal resources. If engaging in a regular practice, users can expect a cascade of positive outcomes, including reduced depressive and anxious symptoms and increased positive mood, compassion, and resilience (Gu et al., 2015).

Even 10 minutes a day of mindfulness practice can drastically improve both physical and psychological functioning.

The beauty of mindfulness is that it does not have to be practiced as a formal meditation. Rather, it can take many forms, including mindfulness walking or listening to music.

Experiment with different mindfulness activities to find the best-suited format for you or your clients.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy

Sometimes, in order to counteract anxiety, you might want to look more closely at patterns of thinking. Given that activation of the autonomic nervous system and symptoms of anxiety occur because we interpret  an event as stressful, it stands to reason that interpretations may not always be on point.

When this happens, engaging with Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be a real game changer. CBT is often employed as a treatment for anxiety and works by challenging thinking patterns and helping individuals shift their mindsets.

Useful CBT techniques include writing down thoughts and then gently challenging the veracity of them, and learning positive coping mechanisms such as cognitive reframing.

Observing Anxiety Mindfully

This worksheet helps clients identify and observe how anxiety feels in the body.

Clients are encouraged to explore the different sensations that arise in the body when thinking about a stressful social situation.

Once the sensations have been observed, clients are encouraged to accept and sit with the feelings and sensations of anxiety from a place of nonjudgment, as with any mindfulness practice.

Lastly, clients are invited to use visualization to further tap into self-compassion and recognize the transient nature of anxiety.

Anxiety Record

The Anxiety Record is an effective worksheet that allows a client to capture step by step what happens when they experience anxiety.

The first step is to identify the stressor, before noting down anxious feelings and whether thoughts are helpful or realistic.

The client is then invited to identify more helpful thoughts when facing anxious moments and ways to regain a sense of control when feeling carried away with anxious thoughts.

Creating a Mindfulness Anxiety Plan

One excellent way to prepare for upcoming social situations is to create a mindfulness anxiety plan .

Mindfulness has a powerful impact on building coping skills, and it also enhances the ability to sit with discomfort without getting swept away by feelings.

If you are interested in learning more about social anxiety, the following three books provide excellent reading. These three were chosen because of their practical nature and the fact that they are grounded in science.

1. How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiet y – Ellen Hendriksen

Dr. Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist specializing in overcoming anxiety so that individuals may lead a more authentic life.

How to Be Yourself  takes real-life stories of situations where individuals have experienced social anxiety and weaves in a compelling narrative that outlines why social anxiety persists and the science behind it.

The book offers tangible, practical ways to rewire our brain so we can break free of the shackles of social anxiety.

Find the book on Amazon .

2. Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioural Techniques – Gillian Butler

If you are looking for a self-help guide that takes individuals through the techniques of CBT as a pathway to reduce social anxiety, this book by Dr. Gillian Butler, a cognitive therapist and clinical psychologist, is for you.

Chock-full of practical strategies, the reader can work through the book at their own pace and by the end should feel armed to the teeth with solutions for fending off social anxiety.

3. Find Your Voice: The Secret to Talking With Confidence in Any Situation – Caroline Goyder

Caroline Goyder is a renowned voice coach and author of another highly popular book, Gravitas .

The central thesis of Find Your Voice  is learning to speak with confidence by implementing different strategies that help individuals relax, stand tall, and speak with clarity.

This is a must-read for anyone who wants to speak confidently in any type of social situation.

For more information on Goyder’s work, check out this popular TEDx Talk.

PositivePsychology.com has a plethora of useful resources for anyone interested in learning more about coping with social anxiety.

Below, you will find several worksheets for learning to cope with anxiety. Completing these exercises proactively can help ensure better navigation of anxiety, inducing in social situations.

Stressors and Resources

The aim of this worksheet is to help clients identify key sources of stress and anxiety, and outline strategies or resources that can deal with them.

This worksheet is extremely helpful because it also identifies past, present, and anticipated sources of stress and anxiety. After completing this worksheet, clients should have a greater awareness of their triggers and the strategies that work best for them in social situations.

Coping Skills Inventory

The Coping Skills Inventory worksheet introduces six common and widely used coping skills that can be used when facing social anxiety.

The client is guided in selecting the most appropriate coping skill that will work for them in a given social situation. Identifying coping strategies before a stressful event is an excellent way to build self-awareness and those all-important internal resources.

Recommended reading

For more informative and practical articles on anxiety and coping, you may enjoy this selection of articles:

• How to Deal With Anxiety: 5 Coping Skills and Worksheets
• 18 Anxiety Worksheets for Adults, Teens, and More
• How to Relax: Best Relaxation Techniques for Anxiety
• Anxiety Therapy: Types, Techniques, and Worksheets

17 Stress & Burnout Prevention Tools

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others manage stress without spending hours on research and session prep, check out this collection of 17 validated stress management tools for practitioners . Use them to help others identify signs of burnout and create more balance in their lives.

17 Exercises To Reduce Stress & Burnout

Help your clients prevent burnout, handle stressors, and achieve a healthy, sustainable work-life balance with these 17 Stress & Burnout Prevention Exercises [PDF].

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

Social anxiety is a pervasive human experience and one we can all expect to encounter every now and again.

Whether we are at work, out with friends, or with family, some social events can and will trigger our fight-or-flight response.

Because life is fraught with stressful life events, trying to avoid them at all costs is not realistic or sustainable. Rather, it is better to be proactive in engaging in practices and techniques that will help us better cope with stress and anxiety as and when we need to.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Stress & Burnout Prevention Exercises (PDF) for free .

Physical symptoms can include an elevated heart rate, shortness of breath, sweaty palms, and feeling dizzy. Psychological symptoms can include feelings of panic or dread, rumination on negative thoughts, and a difficulty focusing on the here and now.

Social anxiety is not a mental illness. It is healthy and normal to experience mild physiological activation from time to time when faced with situations or tasks outside of our comfort zone. Often, low levels of anxiety are adaptive and can help us perform better. Only when social anxiety becomes intrusive to daily functioning, can social anxiety disorder be considered, as identified by the DSM -5.

Anxiety is highly prevalent worldwide, with about 309 million individuals experiencing an anxiety disorder in 2019 (World Health Organization, 2022). Since many individuals experience activated nervous systems in the face of social stressors, it is fair to say that social anxiety is extremely commonplace.

The activation of our autonomic nervous system causes social anxiety, which kicks into gear when a situation is perceived as stressful. The brain floods the body with adrenaline to prepare for action, and it is this adrenaline that causes many of the physical symptoms of social anxiety.

• American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.).
• Cannon, W. B. (1932). The wisdom of the body . Norton.
• Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist , 56 (3), 218–226.
• Gu, J., Strauss, C., Bond, R., & Cavanagh, K. (2015). How do mindfulness-based cognitive therapy and mindfulness-based stress reduction improve mental health and wellbeing? A systematic review and meta-analysis of mediation studies. Clinical Psychology Review , 37 , 1–12.
• Kirschbaum, C., Pirke, K. M., & Hellhammer, D. H. (1993). The ‘Trier Social Stress Test’—A tool for investigating psychobiological stress responses in a laboratory setting. Neuropsychobiology , 28 (1–2), 76–81.
• Kofman, O., Meiran, N., Greenberg, E., Balas, M., & Cohen, H. (2006). Enhanced performance on executive functions associated with examination stress: Evidence from task-switching and Stroop paradigms. Cognition & Emotion , 20 (5), 577–595.
• McEwen, B. S., & Stellar, E. (1993). Stress and the individual: Mechanisms leading to disease. Archives of Internal Medicine , 153 (18), 2093–2101.
• Penedo, F. J., & Dahn, J. R. (2005). Exercise and well-being: a review of mental and physical health benefits associated with physical activity. Current Opinion in Psychiatry , 18 (2), 189–193.
• Sapolsky, R. M. (2004). Why zebras don’t get ulcers: The acclaimed guide to stress, stress-related diseases, and coping (3rd ed.). Henry Holt and Company.
• Stein, M. B., & Stein, D. J. (2008). Social anxiety disorder. The Lancet , 371 (9618), 1115–1125.
• Weissman, D. G., & Mendes, W. B. (2021). Correlation of sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system activity during rest and acute stress tasks. International Journal of Psychophysiology , 162 , 60–68.
• World Health Organization. (2022). Mental disorders . Retrieved June 15, 2023, from https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-disorders.

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The article provides insights into social anxiety and offers techniques and exercises to help individuals manage and overcome it. It distinguishes between mild social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, highlighting the symptoms and criteria for the disorder. The article discusses social anxiety in various contexts, such as the workplace and public speaking, and provides practical strategies to cope with anxiety in those situations. It also suggests preventive practices like physical exercise, mindfulness, and cognitive-behavioral therapy to build internal resources. The self-help exercises provided can assist individuals in managing their social anxiety effectively.

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• Social anxiety disorder (social phobia)

It's normal to feel nervous in some social situations. For example, going on a date or giving a presentation may cause that feeling of butterflies in your stomach. But in social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, everyday interactions cause significant anxiety, self-consciousness and embarrassment because you fear being scrutinized or judged negatively by others.

In social anxiety disorder, fear and anxiety lead to avoidance that can disrupt your life. Severe stress can affect your relationships, daily routines, work, school or other activities.

Social anxiety disorder can be a chronic mental health condition, but learning coping skills in psychotherapy and taking medications can help you gain confidence and improve your ability to interact with others.

Social anxiety disorder care at Mayo Clinic

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Feelings of shyness or discomfort in certain situations aren't necessarily signs of social anxiety disorder, particularly in children. Comfort levels in social situations vary, depending on personality traits and life experiences. Some people are naturally reserved and others are more outgoing.

In contrast to everyday nervousness, social anxiety disorder includes fear, anxiety and avoidance that interfere with relationships, daily routines, work, school or other activities. Social anxiety disorder typically begins in the early to mid-teens, though it can sometimes start in younger children or in adults.

Emotional and behavioral symptoms

Signs and symptoms of social anxiety disorder can include constant:

• Fear of situations in which you may be judged negatively
• Worry about embarrassing or humiliating yourself
• Intense fear of interacting or talking with strangers
• Fear that others will notice that you look anxious
• Fear of physical symptoms that may cause you embarrassment, such as blushing, sweating, trembling or having a shaky voice
• Avoidance of doing things or speaking to people out of fear of embarrassment
• Avoidance of situations where you might be the center of attention
• Anxiety in anticipation of a feared activity or event
• Intense fear or anxiety during social situations
• Analysis of your performance and identification of flaws in your interactions after a social situation
• Expectation of the worst possible consequences from a negative experience during a social situation

For children, anxiety about interacting with adults or peers may be shown by crying, having temper tantrums, clinging to parents or refusing to speak in social situations.

Performance type of social anxiety disorder is when you experience intense fear and anxiety during speaking or performing in public but not in other types of more general social situations.

Physical symptoms

Physical signs and symptoms can sometimes accompany social anxiety disorder and may include:

• Fast heartbeat
• Upset stomach or nausea
• Trouble catching your breath
• Dizziness or lightheadedness
• Feeling that your mind has gone blank
• Muscle tension

Avoiding common social situations

Common, everyday experiences may be hard to endure when you have social anxiety disorder, including:

• Interacting with unfamiliar people or strangers
• Attending parties or social gatherings
• Going to work or school
• Starting conversations
• Making eye contact
• Entering a room in which people are already seated
• Returning items to a store
• Eating in front of others
• Using a public restroom

Social anxiety disorder symptoms can change over time. They may flare up if you're facing a lot of changes, stress or demands in your life. Although avoiding situations that produce anxiety may make you feel better in the short term, your anxiety is likely to continue over the long term if you don't get treatment.

When to see a doctor

See your doctor or a mental health professional if you fear and avoid normal social situations because they cause embarrassment, worry or panic.

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Like many other mental health conditions, social anxiety disorder likely arises from a complex interaction of biological and environmental factors. Possible causes include:

• Inherited traits. Anxiety disorders tend to run in families. However, it isn't entirely clear how much of this may be due to genetics and how much is due to learned behavior.
• Brain structure. A structure in the brain called the amygdala (uh-MIG-duh-luh) may play a role in controlling the fear response. People who have an overactive amygdala may have a heightened fear response, causing increased anxiety in social situations.
• Environment. Social anxiety disorder may be a learned behavior — some people may develop significant anxiety after an unpleasant or embarrassing social situation. Also, there may be an association between social anxiety disorder and parents who either model anxious behavior in social situations or are more controlling or overprotective of their children.

Risk factors

Several factors can increase the risk of developing social anxiety disorder, including:

• Family history. You're more likely to develop social anxiety disorder if your biological parents or siblings have the condition.
• Negative experiences. Children who experience teasing, bullying, rejection, ridicule or humiliation may be more prone to social anxiety disorder. In addition, other negative events in life, such as family conflict, trauma or abuse, may be associated with this disorder.
• Temperament. Children who are shy, timid, withdrawn or restrained when facing new situations or people may be at greater risk.
• New social or work demands. Social anxiety disorder symptoms typically start in the teenage years, but meeting new people, giving a speech in public or making an important work presentation may trigger symptoms for the first time.
• Having an appearance or condition that draws attention. For example, facial disfigurement, stuttering or tremors due to Parkinson's disease can increase feelings of self-consciousness and may trigger social anxiety disorder in some people.

Complications

Left untreated, social anxiety disorder can control your life. Anxieties can interfere with work, school, relationships or enjoyment of life. This disorder can cause:

• Low self-esteem
• Trouble being assertive
• Negative self-talk
• Hypersensitivity to criticism
• Poor social skills
• Isolation and difficult social relationships
• Low academic and employment achievement
• Substance abuse, such as drinking too much alcohol
• Suicide or suicide attempts

Other anxiety disorders and certain other mental health disorders, particularly major depressive disorder and substance abuse problems, often occur with social anxiety disorder.

There's no way to predict what will cause someone to develop an anxiety disorder, but you can take steps to reduce the impact of symptoms if you're anxious:

• Get help early. Anxiety, like many other mental health conditions, can be harder to treat if you wait.
• Keep a journal. Keeping track of your personal life can help you and your mental health professional identify what's causing you stress and what seems to help you feel better.
• Set priorities in your life. You can reduce anxiety by carefully managing your time and energy. Make sure that you spend time doing things you enjoy.
• Avoid unhealthy substance use. Alcohol and drug use and even caffeine or nicotine use can cause or worsen anxiety. If you're addicted to any of these substances, quitting can make you anxious. If you can't quit on your own, see your health care provider or find a treatment program or support group to help you.

Social anxiety disorder (social phobia) care at Mayo Clinic

• Social anxiety disorder (social phobia). In: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-5. 5th ed. American Psychiatric Association; 2013. http://dsm.psychiatryonline.org. Accessed May 21, 2021.
• Gabbard GO, ed. Social anxiety disorder (social phobia). In: Gabbard's Treatments of Psychiatric Disorders. 5th ed. American Psychiatric Association; 2014. http://psychiatryonline.org/doi/book/10.1176/appi.books.9781585625048. Accessed May 21, 2021.
• Schneier FR. Social anxiety disorder in adults: Epidemiology, clinical manifestations, and diagnosis. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed April 8, 2021.
• Stein MB, et al. Approach to treating social anxiety disorder in adults. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed April 8, 2021.
• Hofmann SG. Psychotherapy for social anxiety disorder in adults. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed April 8, 2021.
• Stein MB. Pharmacotherapy for social anxiety disorder in adults. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed April 8, 2021.
• Bystritsky A. Complementary and alternative treatments for anxiety symptoms and disorders: Herbs and medications. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed April 8, 2021.
• Bystritsky A. Complementary and alternative treatments for anxiety symptoms and disorders: Physical, cognitive, and spiritual interventions. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/search. Accessed April 8, 2021.
• Social anxiety disorder: More than just shyness. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/social-anxiety-disorder-more-than-just-shyness/index.shtml. Accessed April 8, 2021.
• Natural medicines in the clinical management of anxiety. Natural Medicines. https://naturalmedicines.therapeuticresearch.com. Accessed April 8, 2021.
• Sawchuk CN (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic. April 29, 2021.
• AskMayoExpert. Anxiety disorders. Mayo Clinic; 2020. Accessed April 8, 2021.
• Brown A. Allscripts EPSi. Mayo Clinic. Sept. 11, 2020.
• Valerian. Natural Medicines. https://naturalmedicines.therapeuticresearch.com. Accessed April 12, 2021.
• Sarris J, et al., eds. Anxiety. In: Clinical Naturopathy. 3rd ed. Elsevier; 2019. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed April 12, 2021.

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How to Prep for a Presentation When You Have Severe Anxiety

We all know that getting anxiety before a big presentation can make presenting difficult. For those with pre-existing conditions for anxiety, such as social anxiety, agoraphobia and panic disorder, presenting can be more difficult than for those without.

While many of the tips most students use to deal with presentations fail to help those with anxiety, here are some practical steps to take that I use, in order to deal with my anxiety, when presenting. No amount of gimmickry in the world will leave you feeling serene as you address your classmates, but these six tips can definitely help ease your nerves.

1. Perfect Practice Makes Perfect

All students planning a presentation are told to practice, but those with anxiety will need to practice even more; at the same time, remember that quantity is not the only factor in intelligent practicing, as it is possible to over-prepare. When you are running through your presentation, establish some key points you want to make sure you’re getting correctly.

The first is usually your time limit; tailor what you say and how quickly you say it in order to meet that mark. Once you’ve figured out exactly what you can adequately cover in your time limit, reduce your talking points into more easily memorable bullet points, such as introduction, main point one, supporting evidence, main point two, supporting evidence and conclusion, depending, of course, on what you’re presenting. When preparing your key points, make sure to craft deliberate segues from point to point, as doing so will take the onus off your on-the-spot creativity, which will be likely be flagging during your speech.

The more you prepare beforehand, the more confident you’ll be when the time comes. Creating a tightly structured PowerPoint and some easy-to-read index cards, and then practicing using those materials, will make it such that by the time it’s actually time to present, you’ll just be running through a script that you’ve practiced to perfection.

2. Plan Your Eye Contact

A good presentation entails that you look out at the crowd, not at your notes or behind you at your slides. So before you present, pick three spots to focus on during the presentation. These spots can be three people in the class that you know well or areas on the walls that are at eye level. Since most people with anxiety have issues with the eye-contact aspect of a presentation, choosing focus areas can be integral to overcoming that challenge.

Since anxiety can make it hard to focus during the presentation, you may even want to insert self-cues into your notes or slide presentation, such as reminders to “look up at the class” or “pause for a deep breath.” Every little benchmark you embed in your presentation will feel like a light house guiding you in a storm; reaching each one will give you a tiny jolt of confidence that you’re on track, everything is going according to plan and that if you just continue to stick to the program, you’ll be absolutely fine.

3. Just Breathe

If you have anxiety, there is a good chance that you are already familiar with breathing exercises, as they can be an effective way to deal with stress in general, not just when presenting a speech to a class.

If you have never worked with any breathing routines, google some and try a few out during your practice sessions; if they feel helpful, then bust them out before your presentation. If you already have a few breathing techniques in your back pocket, running through a few before your presentation can be a great way to feel grounded. If you are delivering a group presentation, practice deep breathing before it’s your turn.

Whether you choose to use them or not, make sure to make that choice prior to the day of your presentation, as last-minute decisions will decrease your feeling of control over the situation. If you are planning to do some breath exercises, practice those during your prep sessions so when the big day comes, every part of your routine is comfortable and established.

4. Allot for Mistakes

The worst thing you can do before a presentation is set high standards, as doing so can cause you to mess up and make your anxiety worse. In fact, it can even benefit you to have a set quota of expected mistakes. When I present, I assume I will have at least one or two hiccups, so when they happen, they feel like part of the plan rather than an unexpected mistake.

Allotting for a mistake or two will reduce the pressure you feel, as it will protect you from berating yourself if you stumble. Plus, if you expect to make a mistake or two and you don’t, then the feeling of success you’ll experience after the speech will be even better than had you simply met your expectations. It’s not a matter of aiming low, however, as preparing yourself for failure is certainly not the answer. You should be realistic about your capabilities, prepare as much as you can and plan for a tiny mistake cushion. If you don’t need it, then all the better.

5. Get Excited

Generally you don’t get to pick your presentation topic, so finding a component of your presentation that genuinely interests you will vastly increase the amount you invest in it. The positive energy that is created by your enthusiasm about a topic can do wonders in combatting the negative energy of your anxiety. Getting caught up in a topic that you find fascinating makes it much easier to forget—at least a little bit—about the fact that you’re living your worst nightmare.

Plus, if you let your professor know that you struggle with anxiety and they see you really getting into a topic, they’ll see how much you must care about the subject. So, if at all possible, find at least one little segment of your presentation that you can get excited about.

6. Pick a Small Role

Let’s be real: Just because you can practice and polish your way to giving a half-decent presentation in no way means that you want to be up in front of the class. All the previous tips were centered on the idea of making the best of a bad situation.

The smartest advice? Try and snag the smallest role possible. Take on the tiniest easiest part, or get out of speaking entirely if you can. While you should try and learn how to channel your anxiety in college, as—make no mistake—you will need to be able to overcome it later in the professional world, it never hurts to know yourself and play to your strengths. If you have to give a speech, then go out there and kill it. But no one said that speech had to be long.

• giving a presentation
• mental health
• prep for a presentation
• public speaking

Angela Herbst, Lakeland University

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A Study Of Social Anxiety And Perceived Social Support

Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc

Associate Editor for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Psychology of Education

Olivia Guy-Evans is a writer and associate editor for Simply Psychology. She has previously worked in healthcare and educational sectors.

Learn about our Editorial Process

Saul Mcleod, PhD

Editor-in-Chief for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester

Saul Mcleod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

Social anxiety , a common mental health concern, can be greatly influenced by an individual’s perceived social support. Those with strong, supportive relationships often report lower levels of social anxiety, as they feel more secure and accepted in social situations. Conversely, individuals who lack a robust support system may experience heightened anxiety due to feelings of isolation and fear of negative evaluation. Developing social skills and building a reliable support network can be crucial for managing social anxiety . Improving communication abilities, assertiveness, and emotional expression can help individuals navigate social interactions more confidently and effectively. Moreover, having trusted friends, family members, or a therapist to provide encouragement, validation, and a safe space to practice social skills can be invaluable in reducing anxiety and fostering a sense of belonging.

• Social anxiety is associated with lower perceived social support among both men and women.
• Communication styles mediate the relationship between social anxiety and perceived social support, but the specific communication styles involved differ by gender.
• For both men and women, lower expressiveness explains some of the link between social anxiety and lower perceived social support.
• For men, lower preciseness also mediates the relationship between social anxiety and perceived social support. For women, lower verbal aggressiveness and higher emotionality play mediating roles.
• The study has limitations like using self-report measures and a predominantly female college student sample, but provides insights into how socially anxious individuals may be able to increase perceived social support through modifying communication styles.

Social anxiety is one of the most common anxiety disorders (Kessler et al., 2012) and has been linked to lower perceived social support (Calsyn et al., 2005; Davidson et al., 1994; Torgrud et al., 2004).

While the size of one’s social network influences perceived social support, other factors like satisfaction with available support matter more (Sarason et al., 1983).

Among women in relationships, self-disclosure helps explain the social anxiety-perceived support link (Cuming & Rapee, 2010), suggesting interpersonal communication plays a role.

However, more research is needed on how communication styles impact the relationship between social anxiety and perceived support, and potential gender differences.

Previous studies found socially anxious individuals are less emotionally expressive and assertive (Davila & Beck, 2002; Turk et al., 2005).

Gender differences also exist in social anxiety, communication, and social support. Women have higher rates of social anxiety (Asher et al., 2017) and are more expressive and polite, while men are more assertive and verbally aggressive (Basow & Rubenfeld, 2003).

Women tend to provide, receive (Neff & Karney, 2005), and perceive more social support than men (Kendler et al., 2005).

Building on this research, the current study examined six communication styles as mediators between social anxiety and perceived social support among men and women.

Understanding these relationships could inform interventions to help socially anxious individuals harness communication skills to increase perceived support.

This study explored relationships between social anxiety, perceived social support, and six communication styles (expressiveness, preciseness, verbal aggressiveness, questioningness, emotionality, and impression manipulativeness) among college students.

It also examined gender differences in these variables and whether communication styles mediated the link between social anxiety and perceived social support differently for men and women.

Participants completed an online survey with measures of social anxiety, communication styles, and perceived social support. The order of the measures was randomized.

813 psychology students (233 men, 580 women) at a large southern U.S. university participated. They ranged in age from 18-30 (M=20.56 years).

The sample was 52.8% White, 16.5% Black, 19.7% Hispanic, 8% Asian, and 3.1% other ethnicities.

• Social Interaction Anxiety Scale-6 (SIAS-6) & Social Phobia Scale-6 (SPS-6): 12 items total measuring social anxiety on a 5-point scale. The SIAS-6 assesses anxiety related to social interactions, while the SPS-6 measures fear of being scrutinized during routine activities.
• Communication Styles Inventory (CSI): 96 items assessing 6 communication domains (expressiveness, preciseness, verbal aggressiveness, questioningness, emotionality, and impression manipulativeness) on a 5-point scale. Each domain consists of 4 facets measuring specific aspects of that communication style.
• Multidimensional Scale of Perceived Social Support (MSPSS): 12 items measuring perceived support from family, friends, and significant others on a 7-point scale. The scale provides a subjective assessment of the adequacy of social support from these three sources.

Statistical Analysis

Descriptive statistics, bivariate correlations, and independent t-tests compared men and women.

Multiple mediation models using PROCESS tested communication styles as mediators between social anxiety and perceived support, separately for men and women.

As hypothesized, social anxiety was associated with lower perceived social support (H1).

For both genders, social anxiety was related to lower perceived support through lower expressiveness (H2).

Social anxiety was linked to lower support through higher emotionality for women only (H3).

The mediating communication styles differed by gender:

• For men, social anxiety was associated with lower support through lower preciseness.
• For women, social anxiety was linked to lower support through lower verbal aggressiveness and higher emotionality.

This study highlights that the way socially anxious individuals communicate influences their perceptions of available support.

While prior research found self-disclosure impacted the social anxiety-perceived support link just for women (Cuming & Rapee, 2010), the current study showed that for both genders, being less expressive and contributing less to conversations explained some of the relationship.

The gender-specific mediators align with research on gender norms in communication. For men, conveying ideas precisely and substantively seems important for feeling supported and fitting masculine norms around clear, outcome-focused communication (Mulac et al., 2001).

For women, lower verbal aggressiveness or a lack of assertiveness to marshal support when needed mediated the link, perhaps reflecting expectations for women to be less direct (Palomares, 2009).

Higher emotionality also played a role for women, suggesting that socially anxious women feel their sensitivity and emotional expressiveness could burden others and reduce support.

This study extends prior work by revealing communication styles as a mechanism linking social anxiety and perceived support. It suggests socially anxious individuals could benefit from interventions targeting communication skills to bolster confidence in their ability to garner support.

Future research could incorporate third-party observations of communication and longitudinal designs to clarify causal relationships.

This study had several strengths, including:

• Explored an understudied mechanism (communication styles) in the link between social anxiety and perceived social support
• Examined gender differences
• Used well-validated measures
• Tested multiple mediators simultaneously
• Large sample size (N=813)

Limitations

This study also had several limitations, including:

• Cross-sectional design prevents conclusions about directionality and causality
• Predominantly female sample limits generalizability
• Self-report measures introduce potential for bias; no behavioral observations of communication
• College student sample may not generalize to broader population

Implications

The findings suggest that psychotherapy for social anxiety could incorporate communication skills training to help individuals develop tools to increase their perception of social support.

Increasing expressiveness may benefit both men and women. However, clinicians may need to tailor interventions by gender, for example helping men communicate ideas clearly and succinctly, assisting women with healthy assertiveness, and normalizing emotionality.

With social anxiety one of the most prevalent disorders, better understanding its interpersonal effects and the role of communication could substantially improve sufferers’ relational experiences and mental health.

However, more research in representative samples using observational methods is needed to establish causal links and inform interventions.

Primary reference

Barnett, M. D., Maciel, I. V., Johnson, D. M., & Ciepluch, I. (2021). Social anxiety and perceived social support: Gender differences and the mediating role of communication styles.  Psychological Reports ,  124 (1), 70-87. https://doi.org/10.1177/0033294119900975

Other references

Asher, M., Asnaani, A., & Aderka, I. M. (2017). Gender differences in social anxiety disorder: A review.  Clinical psychology review ,  56 , 1-12. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2017.05.004

Calsyn, R. J., Winter, J. P., & Burger, G. K. (2005). The relationship between social anxiety and social support in adolescents: A test of competing causal models.  Adolescence ,  40 (157), 103.

Cuming, S., & Rapee, R. M. (2010). Social anxiety and self-protective communication style in close relationships.  Behaviour Research and Therapy ,  48 (2), 87-96. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2009.09.010

Davila, J., & Beck, J. G. (2002). Is social anxiety associated with impairment in close relationships? A preliminary investigation.  Behavior Therapy ,  33 (3), 427-446. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0005-7894(02)80037-5

Kessler, R. C., Petukhova, M., Sampson, N. A., Zaslavsky, A. M., & Wittchen, H. U. (2012). Twelve‐month and lifetime prevalence and lifetime morbid risk of anxiety and mood disorders in the United States.  International journal of methods in psychiatric research ,  21 (3), 169-184. https://doi.org/10.1002/mpr.1359

Sarason, I. G., Levine, H. M., Basham, R. B., & Sarason, B. R. (1983). Assessing social support: the social support questionnaire.  Journal of personality and social psychology ,  44 (1), 127. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.44.1.127

Keep Learning

Here are some potential discussion questions for a college class on this paper:

• How might cultural norms and values impact the relationships between social anxiety, communication styles, and perceived social support? What cultural factors would be important to consider in future research?
• What are some specific ways psychotherapy could help socially anxious individuals modify their communication to increase perceived social support? What role could assertiveness training, expressive writing, or role-playing conversations play?
• If you were designing a longitudinal study to clarify the causal links between social anxiety, communication, and perceived support, what variables would you measure at each timepoint? What would be the ideal time lag between assessments?
• The current study found that emotionality was linked to lower perceived support for socially anxious women. However, could there be contexts where emotional expressiveness helps elicit support? What factors might moderate this relationship?
• How might the increasing prevalence of digital communication impact the relationships explored in this study? Would you expect communication styles to play a smaller or larger role in linking social anxiety to perceived support in online interactions compared to face-to-face?

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Signs you've got social anxiety (and how to conquer it)

Y ou’re making your way to a party – or perhaps it’s a work presentation. Either way, you have it sorted. Your outfit is perfect. Your mind is more than up to the task. So why are you suddenly feeling jittery?

According to The Applied Learning Center in Canada, 80 per cent of us will feel socially anxious at some point in our lives. In fact, Dr Fallon Goodman, a psychologist at George Washington University focused on social connections and resilience, says: “Among humans, I’d say all of us experience it.” 

And yet turning back, texting an excuse and hiding at home won’t make us happier. In 2021, Goodman published research in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders showing that – perhaps counterintuitively – people who suffer from social anxiety still derive pleasure from meeting and interacting with new people. So how can you face up to your fears?

What is social anxiety?

Broadly, Goodman says: “Social anxiety is a feeling of anxiety where we worry about what other people are thinking of us.” You can experience it throughout your life in countless different contexts: on your first day of school, entering a party full of people who all seem to know each other, or before a big work presentation. In each situation, however, the same fear lurks. “Our worry is of an ultimate outcome in which we are rejected in some way,” Goodman says.

Symptoms are wide-ranging too. “Physically it can manifest as a rapid heartbeat, sweating, trembling, blushing, nausea and difficulty speaking, with extreme cases leading to hyperventilation and fainting,” explains Dr Belynder Walia, a psychotherapist and anxiety expert, whose book Fix Me explores techniques for managing and reducing anxiety. “On the emotional front, individuals often experience excessive worry, a profound fear of judgement or embarrassment, negative self-perception , avoidance of social situations, and challenges initiating or maintaining conversations.”

Social anxiety disorder symptoms

Feeling anxious in social situations is common – “a normal part of being human”, according to Walia. Social anxiety disorder, on the other hand, is a diagnosable mental health condition . 

An estimated four per cent of all people across the globe currently suffer from it. It may be more common still among the young. A study published in the journal Plos One examining thousands of people aged 16 to 29 across seven different countries found that 36 per cent met the threshold for social anxiety disorder.  

“Intense and persistent fear of social situations [in these individuals] often leads to avoidance or extreme distress,” says Walia. “Some avoid important events or occasions because of the fear of being in public, so it can significantly impact their daily life, relationships and wellbeing.” 

Do I have social anxiety disorder?

If you experience anxiety in social situations, “that fear is going to be pervasive”, says Goodman. “So when you’re meeting a neighbour or interacting with friends and coworkers, there’s a lurking, looming fear that you’re going to be rejected in some way.”

There are other symptoms too. “Right now, if I was feeling socially anxious, I’d be more worried about myself than you or our conversation,” explains Goodman. “All these thoughts would be running through my head – ‘What am I saying? Am I sounding dumb? Did I miss that question?’ – and I might miss an opportunity to connect with you because I’m more focused on managing my own anxiety.” 

Another experience common to those with the disorder is scanning the room, she explains. People with social anxiety disorder will often be checking to see if anyone is looking at them oddly, laughing at them, or worse. If they spot a candidate, they might either focus all their attention on them with hyper-vigilance or avoid them like the plague. 

What really sets people with social anxiety disorder apart from those of us who feel occasional pangs of party anxiety , however, is an enduring belief that they are fundamentally and uniquely flawed. “They think they are inferior in some way,” says Goodman, “not attractive enough, not interesting enough or not funny enough, and that when they socialise, other people will see that flaw and ultimately reject them because of it.”

What causes social anxiety?

The triggers vary from person to person, says Walia, but common causes include meeting new people, being the centre of attention, participating in group activities or engaging in any activity that carries a risk of being judged or embarrassed. In research, public speaking repeatedly emerges as the most commonly cited type of long-term social anxiety. 

“People with social anxiety struggle with uncertainty,” Goodman explains. Contexts like work conferences, during which you know exactly what is expected of you, are likely to be less threatening than the drinks that follow, when unstructured conversations take place.

Our lives online are unlikely to be helping. A study published in the BMC Psychology journal found correlations between social media use and rates of social anxiety. Our social media profiles open us up to unquantifiable and often unpredictable judgement, explains Goodman. “All of that uncertainty is going to make things harder for people who have vulnerabilities to social anxiety,” she says.

Alcohol and social anxiety

It may be tempting to reach for a drink to steady your nerves – but beware. “ Alcohol is an effective way of immediately reducing anxiety,” says Goodman. “We find that when people drink, their social anxiety doesn’t impair them as much. There’s more enjoyment, more opportunity for social rewards, less inhibition.” 

Sound good? Not as the night wears on, because this balance is fragile. Tip the scales fractionally, lessen your inhibitions further and you may begin to behave in ways that really will elicit judgement and even rejection from others – exactly the phenomenon those with social anxiety disorder fear most. 

Then there’s the next morning’s “hangxiety” – a hazard for many drinkers, but torture for the socially anxious. “Even without alcohol, people with social anxiety often do a post-event debrief where they run through what they said the night before, why they said it and how cringey it was,” says Goodman. Add alcohol, a fuzzier memory, and that rumination is intensified. 

How alcohol can worsen anxiety over time

“It’s crucial to recognise that relying on alcohol only masks the underlying fears and inhibits personal growth,” says Walia. 

In fact, Goodman believes that ditching safety behaviours like habitually reaching for a drink is the single most important factor in tackling social anxiety for good. “Safety behaviours are anything a person does in a situation to feel a little less anxious, whether that’s drinking alcohol, avoiding eye contact or – a favourite among my students – checking their phones to disengage.” 

Relying on these may help you survive the party in the short term, but you’re not fully participating, according to Goodman. “So you might just be maintaining your anxiety in the long term.”

Ways to manage social anxiety without drinking

Worried that your social anxiety is interfering with your life? You should see your doctor, says Goodman. They can prescribe talking therapies or antidepressants. There are, however, things people can do to help themselves too. She likes to break these measures down into strategies to implement before, during and finally after an event. 

“Before the situation, the best thing to do is set yourself an achievable goal,” suggests Goodman. Make it concrete. Perhaps you want to talk to just one person, or share an idea, or even just briefly talk to four strangers. Set that goal. 

Another thing to do before you go is to establish your exit strategy. “Tackling your social anxiety doesn’t have to be an 

endurance test,” says Goodman. Gradual exposure to social situations is a key part of learning to manage your anxiety , so it’s important not to run from the event. Still, knowing how you are going to escape, when the time comes, can help you quell that anxiety, Goodman suggests. A fake phone call will do it. 

Stay calm as you get ready. “Practise deep breathing and relaxation to calm your nerves and alleviate anxiety,” suggests Walia. “Techniques such as diaphragmatic breathing or progressive muscle relaxation can help you stay composed during social interactions.” One 2023 study showed that mindfulness apps reduced social anxiety among students. 

You can also practise interrupting your pessimistic thought patterns as they arise, in anticipation of the event. “Replace them with more constructive and positive alternatives ,” says Walia. “Switch from questions like ‘Why does everything go wrong for me?’ to ‘What if everything goes well for me?’ This shift in perspective actively challenges negative beliefs and cultivates an optimistic and empowering mindset, boosting your self-esteem and confidence. Encouraging affirmations or posing uplifting questions nurtures positive self-talk, enabling a growth mindset and resilience. By consistently reinforcing these positive affirmations, you can rewire your thinking patterns, diminish social anxiety and embark on a journey of personal growth and development.” 

If you find yourself regularly turning invitations down, then start accepting – and attending – small gatherings first, she suggests. “This progressive-exposure approach helps desensitise you to social anxiety triggers over time and boosts your confidence in work-related social settings.”

Be realistic about what will happen. “Anticipate that things will go poorly,” says Goodman. This is not defeatist, just pragmatic, and it happens to absolutely everybody. “At some point or another, you will forget what you were going to say or one of your jokes will flop.” For the socially anxious, this can feel like the end of the world and often signals the end of the party for them. But staying and realising that life goes on is vital. In these situations, reach for a phrase that you will repeat to yourself like a mantra. It might be something as simple as ‘you’ve got this’ or ‘stick with it’,” Goodman suggests. 

A wingman or woman is a useful ally, suggests Walia. “ Seek support from trusted friends or family members who can provide encouragement and assist you in developing and carrying out your coping strategies.” 

Sometimes, however, the real torture begins after the party when the socially anxious scroll through their memories of the night, looking for evidence that they have embarrassed themselves. “Do whatever you can to prevent the rumination,” says Goodman. “A bit of a distraction is helpful.” It could be TV, knitting or even work. “Whatever gives you a bit of a buffer between the party and the rumination.”

Journaling or keeping notes after you attend a social event that has sparked anxiety can also help, she suggests: “You can then look back and do the maths: ‘I socialised five, 10 or 20 times this month. How many times did my worst fear come true?’ You’ll start to relearn that all the worries that consume you before interactions are a waste because these things are just so unlikely to happen.”

Finally, “Make your overall wellbeing a top priority”, says Walia. “Regular exercise, ample sleep and a well-balanced diet all play a crucial role in enhancing your mood and reducing anxiety, ultimately bolstering your confidence for social interactions.”

Medication for social anxiety

If you do seek professional help, talking therapy and medication are both available, often in combination, says Goodman. Cognitive behavioural therapy has been associated with clinically significant improvements , while the Royal College of Psychiatrists notes that a group of antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) can be of particular help. 

Exposure – systematically and carefully engaging in social situations that you fear – is key, says Goodwin, while social skills training can also be helpful, since those with social anxiety may have avoided the contexts in which such skills are commonly developed and practised. “Especially with teens, it may be as simple as practising making eye contact, so that’s a really important component of therapy,” she suggests. 

In her experience, group therapy often makes a difference too. “You may believe you have this fundamental flaw that no one else has, or that other people will be disgusted by or detest you for,” says Goodwin. “Then you realise that everyone else in the room feels the same. It is still really painful, but suddenly there’s a sharing of the load.”

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Four Habits to Help Kids With Social Anxiety

Anjali sat at the kitchen table in front of a blank piece of paper. She sat, and sat, and sat. Then she got up from the table and walked away. The unfinished task? A Valentine’s card for her grandmother.

What was the problem? Eleven-year-old Anjali was the one who had decided to make a card, so the problem was not a lack of care. What was holding her back was a fear that her card would not be good enough for her grandma. Although she was seated alone at the table, she was experiencing social anxiety.

Social anxiety involves fear of negative evaluation, and this fear can stem from social interactions or performing in front of others. As Anjali pondered the creation of her card, she was imagining that her grandma would negatively judge her card and reject her.

Performance and social anxiety can be a natural part of growing up, but they can become problematic if children begin to avoid situations that trigger their fears or their fears become overwhelming. For youth, social anxiety disorder is often identified during the teenage years, and it includes anxiety related to interacting with peers . Often we hear about cases of teens who avoid going to school and interacting socially.

Other forms of social anxiety in children can include fears of being awkward in front of peers, fears of displeasing authority figures, fears of negative evaluation from others, preoccupation with siblings’ judgments, or an unwillingness to try tasks that don’t bring immediate success. Of course, experiencing anxiety about how others perceive you is a normal part of being human; it doesn’t necessarily mean that a child has an anxiety problem. What can make a difference in their life trajectory is not so much the presence or absence of these patterns, but rather how a caregiver helps a child respond to their fears.

Here are four habits that can help kids and parents effectively respond to anxiety-related symptoms before they reach the debilitating level of a disorder.

1. Notice and name your feelings, thoughts, and sensations

The journey to coping effectively with any mental or emotional challenge always begins with awareness. Kids who are experiencing social anxiety need to become aware of the emotions, thought patterns, and body sensations that accompany their anxiety.

To help kids identify feelings patterns, I like to use the Feelings Habit Animal Quiz that I developed. There are four feelings-related animal habits that many kids have: Bear explodes with feelings, beaver obsesses about feelings, chameleon hides feelings, and deer is ashamed of feelings. Most kids quickly relate to one or more of these feelings habits.

Playfully identifying with a feelings animal can help kids observe their habits with less judgment. It is common for kids with social anxiety symptoms to have the beaver habit of obsessing and the deer habit of feeling ashamed, but it’s important to remember that kids with anxiety are not always quiet and timid. Kids with anxiety can also hide feelings or be explosive with feelings. The key is to help kids non-judgmentally recognize and name their feelings habits. Naming our feelings can help to deactivate the alarm center of the brain , which can allow kids to think more clearly.

In addition to identifying feelings, it can also be helpful for kids to notice their thought patterns. It is common for kids with social anxiety problems to have a number of distorted thinking patterns that contribute to their anxiety. For this reason, one common treatment is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which can help kids identify these “cognitive distortions.”

When I teach kids about cognitive distortions, I call them “mind muddles.” Caregivers who would like to help kids informally learn about problematic thinking patterns could play a game of “pretend” with a child, imagining that a child’s favorite stuffed animal or toy is having big feelings and distorted thoughts. After listening to the stuffed toy’s thoughts, you could help the child to identify the mind muddles.

Just as I use a set of animals to talk about feelings, I use another set of animals to help kids learn resilience habits in both the Parent-Child Self-Compassion program that I’ve developed as well as the Quest for Self-Compassion workbook series. Spots the giraffe is the resilience animal that can help us to “spot” our feelings, thoughts, five-senses and sensations. In this excerpt from the first Quest for Self-Compassion workbook , Spots invites us to “spot” Bear’s mind muddles:

Once children are adept at noticing and labeling the mind muddles of their stuffed animals, you can begin labeling your own mind muddles out loud, and then eventually help kids identify their own.

2. Understand that you are not alone

In a recent study (not yet published) of the Self-Compassion for Children and Caregivers program, the number-one resilience habit that kids reported using was the “Buddy habit.” Buddy the dog is the resilience habit animal that helps us to remember that we are not alone when we experience hard things. Children reported that the “Buddy habit” helped them with all kinds of difficult feelings:

“I find the Buddy habit really helpful, whereas before . . . I was like ‘I’m the only person going through this.’” “The Buddy habit . . . taught me that everyone has feelings like this sometimes.”

Remembering that we are not alone can be especially helpful for kids dealing with social anxiety-related thoughts and feelings. Children with social anxiety are typically shame-prone and fearful of being negatively perceived by others. These children are often aware that their anxiety is not socially appropriate. Sometimes well-meaning adults tell kids that they “shouldn’t” feel anxious, but this just tends to compound kids’ anxiety and shame. What a child needs to hear instead is that other kids and grownups sometimes feel anxious, too. When an adult says, “Did I ever tell you about the time that I….” and shares about when they felt social anxiety, it creates a bridge to their child’s experience and helps the child internalize that they are not alone.

Caregivers can also expose their children to books in which the protagonists struggle with anxiety. Are You Mad at Me? is a delightful children’s book that tackles the topic of social anxiety in a playful way. When I left the book on a table in my living room, both of my daughters carefully read and reread the book. My younger daughter said, “What I love about it the most is that I can relate to it so much.”

3. Soothe and encourage yourself with kindness

Self-compassion is an antidote to shame, and studies of adults and youth who have taken self-compassion training have found significant decreases in their anxiety symptoms . In a nutshell, self-compassion invites us to learn to treat ourselves with the same kindness that we would offer to a good friend.

When I teach children about self-compassion, I introduce Snuggles the bunny. Snuggles can soothe us with kind words when we are struggling. Reassuring words include, “You are not alone, I’m here for you, and I care about you.”

When Snuggles dons a cape, it’s Super Snuggles. Super Snuggles can help kids to do hard things, including facing their anxiety fears. Super Snuggles likes to say, “I believe in you. You can do hard things. You’ve got this.”

One parent-based treatment program, Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE), teaches parents to provide their children with both validating and encouraging words. Children need to know that adults understand their struggles with anxiety-related feelings and thoughts. They also need to know that we believe that they can handle their anxious feelings and do hard things.

4. Take action and celebrate progress

Let’s return now to Anjali’s fear of creating a card for her grandmother. I know a little bit more about this story, because I happen to be Anjali’s mom. And because I’m a self-compassion-for-children teacher, I was able to help her identify and name her fear, and understand that she was not alone; and I offered her both gentle validation and strong encouragement. We talked about the pictures and words she wanted to create, and with some effort she created the cover of the card. But when it came time to write the interior, she again froze. Aren’t you glad that I chose an example that did not have an easy ending!?

In Anjali’s case, she needed extra support to complete the interior of the card. Her anxiety was preventing her from putting words on paper, but she was able to engage in conversation about what she might want to say to her grandma. I recorded her words on my phone, and then I replayed the words and sat with her as she wrote the words in the card.

After her grandma’s card was complete, we called Grandma, who squealed with delight as Anjali shared it with her. I encouraged Anjali to soak in the goodness of her grandmother’s joy. We then together retold the story of her anxiety and connected it to the joy that she brought her grandma by creating the card despite her fear.

Often kids with anxiety want to avoid events that trigger their fear, but avoidance only compounds their anxiety over time. This is why recommendations for social anxiety emphasize helping children move forward in the face of fear.

Supporting children when they have anxiety is critical, and it’s also important to progressively help children learn to face fears independently. In the parent-based treatment program, SPACE, parents are taught to gradually reduce their accommodations to help children learn that they can cope and move forward in anxiety-provoking situations on their own.

Coincidentally, as I was writing this article, Anjali decided to make a birthday card for a friend’s birthday. Within 10 minutes, she had independently gotten the paper, written a note, and decorated and colored the card. When I asked her how she had whipped through it so quickly, she mentioned that she had seen kids give a friend very imperfect birthday cards the previous week, which had reduced her fear and increased her trust in her friends’ acceptance.

Does this mean that Anjali will no longer suffer from shame-prone social anxiety? Absolutely not. This is a process that we will walk through together again and again. It’s important to remember that there are myriad factors that will influence whether a child experiences anxiety on any given day, including their health, their relationship with others, and how much sleep they’ve gotten. Our job as caregivers is to equip kids with the ability to name their fears, understand that they are not alone, and help themselves through tender nurturing and strong action. Each time we bring resilience resources to a fear, we are placing another stone on the path that leads to freedom.

About the Author

Jamie lynn tatera.

Jamie Lynn Tatera is a certified Mindful Self-Compassion teacher with a passion for sharing self-compassion with children and their grownups. She is an educator, author, mom, and creator of the Self-Compassion for Children and Caregivers program.

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King’s Birthday 2024: Things to do in Auckland over the long weekend

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Find plenty of local artisan goods and stellar food at King's Birthday Market & Whānau Festival on the Auckland waterfront from June 2-3.

Looking for ways to celebrate and enjoy a three-day-long weekend?

King’s Birthday is being celebrated this weekend, so Kiwis around the country are being treated to an extra day off on Monday.

Saturday is also June 1, marking the official start of winter in the southern hemisphere.

So what should you do with the extra time?

If you’re in Auckland this weekend, there are a range of unique and exciting activities like markets, exhibitions and shows to head along to with a group of friends or the kids. There are also more adult-oriented events, like Waiheke winery Man O’ War’s special tasting event A Vintage Voyage, for the older ones to enjoy on their own.

1) Freida Margolis Market - Grey Lynn

Long weekends are made for morning market meandering, even in the winter. Head down to the sparkling gem of Grey Lynn, Freida Margolis, this Saturday when it transforms from a cosy wine bar to a buzzy vintage market. Pick up a hot drink and peruse the artfully curated collection of preloved and vintage clothes, NZ designers’ creations, vinyl, seasonal plants and flowers, vintage curiosities, NZ-made candles, crafts, and handmade jewellery. Of course, because it’s Freida’s, someone will be spinning vinyl and the atmosphere will be top-notch.

When: June 1, 10am - 1pm.

Where: Freida Margolis, 440 Richmond Rd, Grey Lynn, Auckland.

Price: Free.

2) Relics: A New World Rises - Auckland Domain

A new exhibit opened at Auckland Museum this week that brings together objects from the past with an imagined future. Relics: A New World Rises is created by Australian LEGO® Masters Jackson Harvey and Alex Towler. In this exhibition, the high school best friends have imagined a future in which humans no longer exist and instead LEGO® minifigure civilisations have survived and thrived in our forgotten artefacts. It’s certain to delight anyone who has ever created scenes with LEGO or action figurines and pondered whether they may have sprung to life and moved while we slept. Equal parts nostalgia trip and flight of fancy, this is a museum exhibit that won’t require any bribery to excite the kids.

When: May 29 - October 13.

Where: Auckland Museum, Auckland Domain, Parnell.

Price: Adult $21; Child (5–15) $11; Family (2 adults, 2 children) $54; free for museum members.

3) King’s Birthday Market & Whānau Festival - Auckland CBD

This long weekend market is what you might call super-sized. Spread over two days at the Cloud, the King’s Birthday Market & Whānau Festival is much more than just some nifty trinkets and a coffee van. The expert curators from General Collective have put together a lineup of vendors selling a wide range of locally designed and handmade wares. Alongside them will be a pop-up playground, clay heart-making and face painting, upcycled sewing workshops, a picnic play zone, circus workshops and performances by Captain Festus McBoyle and the acrobats of 3 Ring Riot. There’s street food to fill your puku and DJs keeping the vibes festive. Catch the train into the city for a real metropolitan adventure for the whole whānau.

When: June 2 & 3, 10am-3pm.

Where: The Cloud, 89 Quay St, Auckland CBD, Auckland.

Price: Free entry.

4) Planting days - Ōhinerau / Mt Hobson & Tāwharanui Regional Park

If you’re staying in town or not heading too far north this King’s Birthday weekend, why not put some mahi into your local regional parks and maunga? Ōhinerau / Mt Hobson and Tāwharanui Regional Park are both holding planting days this weekend where you can join other local volunteers and help keep this beautiful country of ours kakariki green. There’ll be rangers onsite to help guide the planting and provide you with gear if you need it or bring along your own spade and gloves if you have them. Clean, closed-toe shoes are a must to protect the parks from kauri dieback and your precious toes from injury. There’s nothing like a good honest day’s work in nature to make you feel good about life and grateful for the stunning lands we live on.

Community Planting Day with Tūpuna Maunga Authority

When: June 1, 10am-1pm.

Where: Ōhinerau / Mt Hobson, Mt Hobson Lane, Remuera, Auckland (meet at the end of Mt Hobson Lane).

Tāwharanui Regional Park Planting Day

When: June 2, 9am-1pm.

Where: Tāwharanui Regional Park, 1181 Takatu Rd, Tāwharanui, Peninsula 0986.

5) French Film Festival Aotearoa

A warm movie theatre is the best place to be on a chilly long weekend and cinephiles are in luck because the French Film Festival Aotearoa opened this week and there are several screenings across this weekend at some of Tāmaki Makaurau’s cosiest cinemas.

You can order a vin rouge at any one of these theatres - The Bridgeway, Rialto, The Capitol, The Lido - and settle in for some French comedy, drama, suspense, documentary or romance. Peruse the programme, preferably with a French pastry in hand, and you’ll almost certainly find something that piques your interest.

When: May 29 - June 19 (in Auckland and up to July 3 in other centres).

Where: The Bridgeway, Rialto Newmarket, The Capitol Cinema and The Lido Cinema, Auckland.

Price: Visit frenchfilmfestival.co.nz for the full schedule and to book tickets.

6) The Pied Piper & other stories - Howick

The bright-eyed performers of Howick Children’s & Youth Theatre are very busy this weekend with three separate productions taking place across King’s Birthday. The first is Romeo & Juliet, performed by a cast of teen thespians who’ve taken on the Bard with guts and gusto. The second is a retelling of The Pied Piper , performed by a cast of talented children. And lastly there’s Wishy Washy Wonky Stories, a collection of beloved children’s tales performed by the staff of HCYT as a fundraiser to keep this wonderful theatre society in business, spreading a love of theatre to future generations.

Where: Harlequin Theatre, 563r Pakuranga Rd, Howick, Auckland. Email [email protected] or phone (09) 537 4943 for tickets.

Romeo & Juliet

When: May 30-June 1, 7.30pm.

Price: Tickets $12.

The Pied Piper

When: June 1 & 2, 1.30pm and 3.30pm.

Price: Tickets $10.

Wishy Washy Wonky Stories

When: June 1 & 2, 10.30am.

7) Making do rhymes with poo - Titirangi

Yes, you have read that heading correctly, Making do rhymes with poo is a major new work by Australian artist Justene Williams that opened last weekend at Te Uru in Titirangi. The artist has been performing all week and the final live performance is this Saturday. During these performances, Williams moves around the gallery doing “menial tasks” to draw attention to the conscious and unconscious labours of the body, one of which is producing waste, hence the name of the show. Williams is a Brisbane-based artist who works with multimedia including video, photography, sculpture and performance. After Saturday’s final performance, the exhibition will continue until October, with videos of Williams’ performances replacing the live art. So this is your only chance to get the full performance-art experience as the artist intended.

When: Performances daily May 27-June 1, 10am-4pm (exhibition continues until August 4).

Where: Te Uru, 420 Titirangi Rd, Titirangi, Auckland.

8) Matariki shows at Stardome Observatory & Planetarium - Royal Oak

Instead of celebrating His Majesty this weekend, why not spend the long weekend celebrating something closer to home and getting into the Matariki spirit at Stardome. This year Matariki is June 29 to July 6, which means this weekend is officially Matariki month. Stardome’s show Ngā Whetū o te Tau Hou, the Stars of the New Year takes viewers on a journey to the stars where they’ll discover the ngā whetū/stars of Matariki and the legends and stories of the Māori New Year. It’s recommended for older children aged 11+ and there are multiple shows over the long weekend. You might also like to mark Friday June 28, the Matariki public holiday, in your diary, when Stardome will have a Matariki Open Day where visitors can attend free of charge all day.

When: Selected evenings May 14 - June 27.

Where: Stardome Observatory & Planetarium, 670 Manukau Rd, Royal Oak, Auckland.

Price: Tickets start at $10 from stardome.org.nz

Plan Ahead: Crowded House - Various locations

The concert itself may not be this weekend but if you don’t get your tickets for Crowded House’s Gravity Stairs Tour now, you run the risk of missing out on November’s big shows. The tour supports their new album, being released on Friday, May 31, and should be the soundtrack to your long weekend lounging. No longer twilighting as a member of Fleetwood Mac, Neil Finn leads the current incarnation of the band, which includes sons Elroy and Liam Finn along with Nick Seymour and Mitchell Froom. The tour kicks off in Wellington on November 9, making stops in Dunedin, Christchurch, Palmerston North, Tauranga and Hamilton, finishing up in Tāmaki Makaurau before heading across the ditch for the Aussie leg of their tour.

When: November 9-23.

Where: Various locations in Aotearoa.

Price: Visit livenation.co.nz for all ticketing information.

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