book review never eat alone

Never Eat Alone

50 pages • 1 hour read

Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time

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Summary and Study Guide

Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time by Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz is a New York Times best-selling self-help and business book first published in 2005 by Currency, a division of Penguin Random House. The principal author, Ferrazzi, is the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) and Founder of Ferrazzi Greenlight, a training and consulting company. He previously worked as the Chief Marketing Officer (CMO) for Deloitte Consulting and Starwood Hotels and Resorts, and he was additionally the CEO of YaYa Media. As a self-described “master networker,” Ferrazzi walks readers through specific and actionable steps that he personally uses to cultivate and maintain a robust network of executives, colleagues, associates, and friends. Ferrazzi’s method of connecting relies on genuine relationship-building, a conscientious activity that he distinguishes from the crude and impersonal stigma typically associated with networking .

This guide uses the expanded and updated text published in 2014.

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The book is divided into five sections.

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Section 1: The Mind-Set illustrates the unique mentality and ideas that the authors espouse as the secret to building a diverse, useful, and massive network of connections. In this initial section, Ferrazzi and Raz introduce the “Relationship Action Plan,” a tool that helps readers develop their goals and connect with the people, places, and things that will help achieve those goals.

Section 2: The Skill Set shows readers the specific and real-world techniques that help an individual to build and maintain a network of meaningful relationships. One example from these chapters includes drafting a detailed, one-page synopsis on potential contacts before meeting with them either at conferences or in one-on-one scenarios.

Section 3: Turning Connections into Compatriots outlines how to convert a network of connections into an accessible group of meaningful relationships that benefits all parties.

Section 4: Connecting in the Digital Age teaches readers how to use the capabilities of online and digital platforms for creating industry connections.

Section 5: Trading Up and Giving Back takes all of the ideas and skills of the previous four sections and provides readers with clear examples about how to put these concepts into action. These final chapters discuss how best to utilize the new network of connections to facilitate collaboration, build a brand, and connect with powerful individuals.

Each section includes a “Connector’s Hall of Fame Profile,” a short excerpt that describes how a celebrity, historical figure, industry leader, or author exemplifies a theme of the chapter. These are: Bill Clinton (Chapter 3); Katharine Graham (Chapter 6); Abraham Lincoln (Chapter 11); Paul Revere (Chapter 15); Brené Brown and Dale Carnegie (Chapter 17); Adam Grant (Chapter 18); Vernon Jordan (Chapter 19); the Dalai Lama (Chapter 25); Benjamin Franklin (Chapter 29), and Eleanor Roosevelt (Chapter 31).

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Never Eat Alone

And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time

Keith Ferrazzi, Tahl Raz | 4.08 | 42,404 ratings and reviews

Ranked #4 in Networking , Ranked #38 in Communication Skills — see more rankings .

Reviews and Recommendations

We've comprehensively compiled reviews of Never Eat Alone from the world's leading experts.

Simon Sinek Author Recommends this book

Sol Orwell I hate business books. They are full of wishy-washy inspirational stuff and rarely of anything actionable. And even when actionable, it's from the context of that founder and the story they've spun, not the reality that most people face. So if anything, I'd have people read books such as Jayson Gaignard's Mastermind Dinners; Derek Coburn's Networking is Not Working; Shane Snow's Storytelling edge; Keith Ferrazzi's Never Eat Alone. (Source)

Rankings by Category

Never Eat Alone is ranked in the following categories:

• #85 in Buildings
• #100 in Business Development
• #46 in Career Guide
• #42 in Communication
• #95 in Consulting
• #71 in Effective Communication
• #84 in Influence
• #89 in Pitching
• #88 in Social
• #39 in Social Skills
• #82 in Success

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Never Eat Alone: Summary & Review

Never Eat Alone is a book on networking and achieving success with people and through people. Keith Ferrazzi, the author, teaches readers how to breadth and quality their networks.

Bullet Summary

The mind-set of networking, connecting for options, relationships are give and take, adding people to your goal setting, never eat alone: stay visible, networking tips, how to give value, develop a brand, real-life applications.

• Business is about people
• You can’t go far alone
• You should treat networking seriously for what it is: one of the most important tools for success

Never Eat Alone – Summary

About The Author : Keith Ferrazzi is an Italo-American entrepreneur, speaker, and author. Ferrazzi says that a lot of problems, even in business, are not business problems but people’s problems. And he made people the focus of his career.

• You can’t go very far alone
• Seed relationships today to enjoy tomorrow’s fruits
• Ask! You need to ask
• The power of networks grows exponentially
• To get: give

Smarts, talent, and resources all matter. But they still won’t do much by themselves without good people around them.

Business is a human enterprise. When you strip any business, at its core, is always about people dealing with people. People selling to people, people working with people, people hiring people, etc., etc.

Why would you want to connect with more people?

Many reasons, Ferrazzi says. Including:

• Financial safety
• Career options
• Control over one’s life

Ferrazzi says that in a world of shifting employments and shorter stints, connecting replaces the old loyalty and security that big organizations used to provide.

This is an idea I espouse as well to give yourself more power and control over your own life (read: how to deal with a bad boss ).

Giving and taking are interlinked, you can’t just do one or you’ll only do half the equation.

A network functions only as long as the different needs are recognized and met, and that’s at the core of the give and take.

Finally, Ferrazzi proposes that you focus on giving first without keeping scores. The more people you help, the more help you will receive.

And he paraphrases Kennedy in saying “don’t ask what people can do for you, but ask what you can do for them” (albeit that was a big political manipulation ).

Keith Ferrazzi proposes a goal-setting path with a twist: adding people to it.

Devise your goals in the next three years, then break them down by months and smaller goals. Then connect those goals to people who can help you obtain them.

The last step?

Find what you can give these people and how you will reach them.

Never eating alone means keeping your networking schedule always full.

One connection might not pan out, but you must have another 6 engagements just like that lined up over the week through breakfast, lunches, or after-work events.

As an up-and-comer you must do the legwork: stay visible, connect, and network.

• Do your homework: know what they’re like before meeting them
• Follow up: remind them what you can do for them, not the other way around
• Be authentic: Ferrazzi says vulnerability is one of the most underrated traits
• Treat gatekeepers well: they’re often close to the decision-makers
• On events: help organize them and speak there
• Relationships are like muscles: the more you use them (give & take) the stronger they get
• Connect with connectors: those people who know everyone
• Exchange networks: everyone in your network is a door to a huge network; help them with yours, and they’ll help you with theirs
• Quality time for deeper relationships! What are they about? Health, wealth, and children are usually what matters most to people
• Ping! The network will die unless you keep in touch. Pinging is grunt work, but it’s what keeps your network alive

To develop a good network, you need to be a valuable person to others.

Here are the three tips:

Ferrazzi says that to be interesting, you need to have some uniqueness. Talking about events and stuff is not enough, have an opinion on them instead.

Forget about job titles: what’s your expertise? Become a master at something so that you can bring expertise to the table.

Once you know who you are, what you stand for, and what’s your expertise: build a compelling story around it.

A brand is what everyone thinks of you when they see you or hear your name. Here are a few tips to develop a good brand:

• Distinct Message

Have a clear message associated with your and to your name.

• Package the Brand

Visuals matter more than words. Be polished,

• Stay True to It

Look the part and live the brand (also read Start With WHY )

Keith Ferrazzi strongly recommends you find mentors.

A mentor, different than a coach, is someone who is emotionally invested in you. Someone who really wants to help you and see you grow. The key to finding a mentor, as usual, is looking for what you can give them.

I also recommend you read Mastery by Robert Greene for more on mentors.

Networking is not a zero sum game

Give, Share & Feed Share your contacts, make intros, and give to your network.

Ping Making contacts will become a fool’s errand unless you stay in touch with them. Ping your network from time to time to keep the relationship alive.

Keep a full schedule! Always keep a full schedule of people you meet. From meeting people for breakfast to lunches to after-work events, always be on the go and always exchange contacts.

Keep a file! Keep a file of the people you meet. I do it, and I write some key info about people I see daily or whom I deem worthy.

Don’t be afraid of approaching big names Another big takeaway for me is a powerful reminder that people are people. It doesn’t matter what their business card reads, we all want the same thing and we all equally appreciate people who connect with us and care about us. So do connect with the bigger names in the room.

Self Referential Several passages are a bit too much about the author and his accomplishments.

Self Serving Albeit Ferrazzi tells you to give and not keep score, ultimately that’s not what he’s angling for. Connections for him as for your own utility. Which is normal, but it somewhat came across a bit too egotistical and self-referential at times.

Never Eat Alone is a powerful reminder of something that is too often forgotten by many: business is about people. And personal success, I would add, is also about people.

Anything people do, as a matter of fact, is about people. People are always central to almost anything you want to accomplish.

It’s both easy to read and useful, I can recommend it.

Read more summaries or  Get Never Eat Alone on Amazon

About The Author

Lucio Buffalmano

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Never Eat Alone — Book Review

Keith Ferrazzi has built one of the world’s largest networks and considering where he came from, that’s a feat. His book, Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time , details how he built his network and how you replicate his process if you want to build a network of your own.

The Mind-Set

The book opens with a story of Keith employed as a caddie in a wealthy town adjacent to his boyhood home. During this time carrying clubs, he watched as the country club members found each other jobs, invested time and money in one another’s ideas, and helped each other’s kids get into the best schools, get the best internships, and the best jobs. “Before my eyes, I saw proof that success breeds success and, indeed, the rich do get richer,” says Ferrazzi. “Poverty, I realized, wasn’t only a lack of financial resources; it was isolation from the kind of people that could help you make more of yourself.”

“To achieve your goals in life,” Ferrazzi realized, “it matters less how smart you are, how much innate talent you’re born with, or even, most eye-opening to me, where you came from and how much you started out with.” What matters most is realizing, you can’t get there alone.

Continuing his story of working as a caddie, Ferrazzi learns that what he thought of as networking was, instead, connecting—sharing knowledge and resources, time and energy, friends and associates—in an effort to provide value to others. He notes, “[w]hat I saw on the golf course—friends helping friends and families helping families they cared about—had nothing to do with manipulation or quid pro quo. Rarely was there any running tally of who did what for whom, or strategies concocted in which you give just so you could get.”

The first section of the book is mostly about Keith’s upbringing and how he came to some of the conclusions he has about networking. He talks about his father’s gutsy move to ask the CEO of his steel mill if he could help Keith get into a private school. How being around successful people—simply knowing them—gave him access to people and places he wouldn’t have had otherwise.

The Skill Set

In the first section, Ferrazzi talks about why you’d want to build a network and in this section how to do it. Sections two and three I found to be the most interesting and helpful. If you’ve decided to read a book on networking you probably don’t need to be told why it’s a good idea.

Some of the things Keith talks about I would never have thought of myself. He talks about doing research on people you wish to meet who will be attending the same conferences as you. By knowing what their business does, how their business is doing, and even some personal stuff about the person, you’ll be ready to make small talk that they will want to engage in.

Ferrazzi gives a few other tips for conferences, such as helping the organizer. By helping organize the event you’ll know who’s coming and when you see a name you want to meet, the organizer will probably introduce you.

Speaking at an event will also help. I realized this months ago when I spoke on language learning at Barcamp Bangkok . People see you as an expert and will come to you after the talk to discuss details or exchange contact info.

Connecting with Connectors

I’ve read a lot of networking advice on the web and most people are saying the same things. Every article has only slight variations to the hundred other articles on networking. Ferrazzi has a couple of chapters in his book that covers things I’ve never read elsewhere. This chapter on connecting with people who already have large networks is something I’ve never read before. And while I intuitively understand the idea, I’d never thought about who are these “super-connectors,” and where can I find them.

Keith lists seven types of people who typically have large networks—restaurateurs, headhunters, lobbyists, fundraisers, public relations people, politicians, and journalists—and gives advice on why and how to connect with them.

The Art of Small Talk

Finally, we get to the part I have the most trouble with—the approach.

At one point in the book, Keith says “[f]or many people, the fear of meeting others is closely tied to the fear of public speaking.” If you have a problem with public speaking, then a group like ToastMasters will help. But what about someone like me? I have no problems giving talks to groups, if I’m expected to be there, speaking to the group is no problem, even enjoyable. My problem is walking up to that one guy at a networking event and saying “hi, my name is Brad.” I was hopeful this chapter would give me some techniques or tactics to soften the pain—it didn’t.

The only thing offering any comfort at all was when Keith said, “[y]ou’re never going to be completely ready to meet new people; there is no perfect moment. Your fears will never be completely quieted because inviting rejection is never going to be appealing.” Knowing that it’s difficult for everyone, even someone like Ferrazzi, makes me feel a little better …I guess.

Find Anchor Tenants and Feed Them

It’s an interesting concept, throwing dinner parties to connect different parts of your network or to invite friends-of-friends to become better acquainted. But there was a disconnect during the first part of the chapter when Keith was talking about the parties he has at his place in Los Angeles. When he mentioned people adjourning to the living room where there was live piano music, made me think I’m years, if not decades, from doing something like this . Thankfully he didn’t end there.

Ferrazzi talks about how he got started throwing dinner parties in college; “[i]n those early years, my 400-square-foot, one bedroom apartment … with a kitchen table that could barely seat two adults, held wild get-togethers for four, six, even fifteen guests.” He goes on to talk about having your parties catered or cooking something the day before—something that will keep like chilly—and supplementing it with lots of wine. Most intriguing was how he got interesting people to come.

The anchor tenant concept is where you find someone—a friend of a friend—who’s one rung up the social ladder from you and your peer group. That anchor allows you to reach beyond your circle in subsequent invitations and pull people who wouldn’t otherwise attend. “To put it in terms of the company cafeteria, now that you have the CEO eating lunch at the manager’s table, other executives will jump at the opportunity to eat at the table, too.”

This was one of the better chapters in the book and I’ve been planning dinner parties in my head since reading it.

Overall Never Eat Alone was a great book. As with all books, there were parts that went a little long and parts that were short where I wish he would elaborate. The chapters about connecting with connectors and having dinner parties were some of the best lessons in the book and something new for me. After reading the book, I realize the best way to quiet my introverted tendencies is to have people come to me …now I’ve just got to find ways to do that.

Never Eat Alone Review: Learn to Network Like a Boss

I learned so much from this book, so I decided it is time to write a never eat alone review. I remember that I stood at Istanbul Ataturk International Airport and saw the cover if this book. It triggered something, but I did not buy it. Do you know that feeling of hesitation?

Somewhat later, the book was still in my mind. So I finally did the purchase, via the Dutch giant Bol.com (but it is also available on Amazon ). And boy, I learned some practical networking tips from this book.

PS. Do you have your own company? ReWork lets you rethink on how to approach your own business.

Never Eat Alone review

So what is Never eat alone about? In short, Never Eat Alone is a book by Keith Ferrazzi about networking. But it is more as just a book on networking, as it changes your view of (professional) relationships.

The book gives tips that are quite different from other books focused on networking. One of the principles of this book, for example, is that real networking is about how you make other people more successful .

With this starting point, useful and practical tips are given. For example how to make a list of contacts, establish a relationship plan and stay in contact with your relations.

Summarizing Never Eat Alone

At the beginning of the book, Keith writes about what attitude you should have in approaching relationships. Moreover, he gives more practical tips on entering into relationships and dealing with conferences. In the version that I have read, attention is also given connect into digital networks. For example, how to create good content and promote your own brand.

A good attitude is the starting point for proper networking

Networking is usually associated with network meetings. This book takes a slightly different approach! Quickly, it turns out that the point of departure is not about yourself, but about helping other people ! This is the most important attitude in networking.

This is, what I believe, the power of this book – it starts with an attitude to life that enables you to network successfully. It is always tempting to focus on so-called network skills or network tools, but attitude is so much more important.

That life-attitude is to always have the focus to help people. To be responsible, generous, sincere and vulnerable when needed. Keith Ferrazzi abbreviates this with the letters GVAC, or generosity, vulnerability, accountability and candor (sincerity).

And in my own experience, people are interested in you, if you are also interested in them. Actually, your whole life is a meeting of different networks. The difference? How you approach it!

Practical Tips from Never Eat Alone

Having said that, Keith gives many practical tips. In this Never eat alone review, I am happy to share some of these tips with you:

• Focus on the combination of your passions (what you like) and your skills (what are you capable of). Subsequently, draw up a plan for developing in that direction. Specifically, look to which people you need to know to achieve this goal.
• Find a mentor or a bunch of people who advise you, and be someone similar for other people.
• Introduce people to each other in events that you organize yourself. For example, do you have an appointment with two people? And do you think it would be valuable for them to meet each other? Organize a dinner where both meet!
• Moreover, you can organize your own events or conferences where people meet, and subsequently, build your personal brand.
• Probably you’ve been hearing this from Kindergarten, but it is true. Always do your homework! Especially before you meet new people. Be sure that you know what concerns them and what they find important. Have you met people? Write down their names, who they are, and don’t wait too long with the follow-up (even within 24 hours).
• Make sure you have a list of relationships (and also people you still want to meet). Then, categorize them by category. Following, maintain relationships by sending a short message every so often that matches the type of relationship you have.
• Do you want to achieve more in digital networks? Make sure you have something to say and create good content (in your own niche). It’s one of the best ways to expand your digital brand.

Never Eat Alone: a great book

So how positive am I about this? In short, I am very positive about this book. It is also filled with a lot of anecdotes, which makes it very readable. However, it is also focused on the life and character of the author himself.

What I found is that many examples show that the author has a great deal of (natural) social skills. He has no difficulties entering into relationships and is encouraged in forging relationships from an early age.

So, I think one of the lesser points is the book assumes that you already have the same skills and character. But still, it gives a great approach to networking and building life-long relationships.

If you liked this review and are interested in more (book) reviews, you should check out my page with reviews .

By the way, this review may contain affiliate links, giving me a small commission (if you buy this book from a link on this site). So don’t hesitate to help me stocking my fridge.

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi Book Summaries by Apollo - Learn Fast, Remember Forever.

• Entrepreneurship

Unlock the secrets of successful networking with insights from Keith Ferrazzi's "Never Eat Alone." Learn to build authentic connections, leverage social capital, and grow your entrepreneurial network. Take the quiz and activities for this book: https://www.apolloskills.com/courses/Never_Eat_Alone_by_Keith_Ferrazzi "Never Eat Alone" is a book by Keith Ferrazzi, first published in 2005, which delves into the importance of networking and building relationships in the professional world. Ferrazzi emphasizes that success is not achieved in isolation but through the efforts of many. The book provides actionable advice on connecting with others, building lasting relationships, and leveraging these connections for mutual benefit. Take the quiz and activities for this book: https://www.apolloskills.com/courses/Never_Eat_Alone_by_Keith_Ferrazzi

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Book Review: Never Eat Alone

The four sections of this 309-page book each concentrate on a different facet of networking. The necessity to be genuine and honest in your relationships with people is stressed in the first segment, which examines the mindset required to forge long-lasting connections. The second part of the article discusses how to network and meet new people, including attending events and contacting people in your network. The third section discusses the subject of forging enduring bonds and connections. The emphasis in the fourth and concluding section is on keeping in touch with your network.

Ferrazzi offers personal experiences and helpful advice for networking success throughout the book. He strongly emphasizes the need to look for chances to assist others and exercise consideration for others’ time, knowledge, and resources. He also emphasizes the value of strategically networking and developing partnerships based on shared interests and ideals. I’m conscious that for me to advance, I must make an effort to comprehend the wants and interests of others so that I may plan lunches with them.

The principle of authenticity is one of the most important concepts in this book.  Ferrazzi highlights the importance of having open and true conversations with others. He also stresses the value of doing good deeds without expecting anything in return. Ferrazzi approaches networking and relationship-building with a strong emphasis on giving.

Overall, Never Eat Alone is a useful and insightful networking manual for anyone wishing to strengthen their interpersonal and business connections. Ferrazzi has a captivating and approachable writing style; his counsel is practical and inspirational. This book is a must-read for anyone wishing to develop a solid and encouraging network, regardless of their level of professional experience.

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Never Eat Alone, Expanded and Updated: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time Kindle Edition

• Print length 402 pages
• Language English
• Sticky notes On Kindle Scribe
• Publisher Crown Currency
• Publication date June 3, 2014
• File size 4101 KB
• Page Flip Enabled
• Word Wise Enabled
• Enhanced typesetting Enabled
• See all details

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About the author, excerpt. © reprinted by permission. all rights reserved., product details.

• ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00H6JBFOS
• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown Currency; Exp Upd edition (June 3, 2014)
• Publication date ‏ : ‎ June 3, 2014
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• File size ‏ : ‎ 4101 KB
• Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
• Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
• Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
• X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
• Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
• Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
• Print length ‏ : ‎ 402 pages
• #24 in Career Guides
• #42 in Business Communication Skills
• #82 in Business Mentoring & Coaching (Books)

About the authors

Tahl Raz is a storyteller of big ideas in business, technology and the social sciences that are transforming the way we work and live. An award-winning journalist and best-selling author, he has edited and published in everything from Inc. Magazine and GQ to Harvard Business Review and the Jerusalem Post. Management guru Tom Peters called his first co-authored book, “Never Eat Alone,” one of “the most extraordinary and valuable business books” of recent history. The book is still in hardcover over a decade later and is now used as a textbook in MBA programs around the world. He has held roles as a Chief Content Officer, CEO of an online education company called MyGreenLight, and founder and editor-in-chief of Jewcy Media. He lives in New York City with his wife, daughter, and a very fat Pug named Bibi.

Keith Ferrazzi

Keith Ferrazzi is the author of the bestsellers Who’s Got Your Back and Never Eat Alone. Ferrazzi has been published in The Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Inc., and Fast Company. He was the youngest person to make partner and hold the position of Chief Marketing Officer at Deloitte Consulting, where he raised Deloitte’s brand recognition from lowest to a primary position, spurring the highest growth rate in the industry.

As founder and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight, Keith Ferrazzi transforms behaviors that block global organizations from reaching strategic goals into new habits that increase shareholder value. The firm’s Greenlight Research Institute has proven the correlation between practices that improve relationships and business success, particularly in sales performance and team effectiveness in an increasingly virtual world. Greenlight’s behavior engineering methodology for diagnosing and instilling the highest ROI behavior change is based on a decade of field engagements with iconic global organizations.

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Never Eat Alone Summary

1-Sentence-Summary:   Never Eat Alone is a modern classic, which explains the art of networking and gives you actionable advice on how you can harness the power of good relationships and become a good networker to build a career you love.

Favorite quote from the author:

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Keith Ferrazzi learned about the power personal relationships can have early on in his life. Not only did he observe how people interact and reciprocate favors as a caddie in the local country club, but also learned that moxie pays off, when his Dad went to his boss’s boss’s boss’s boss – the CEO of the steel company he worked for – to tell him he wanted more for his son than he ever had. As a result, Keith went to the best private school in the country on a full scholarship.

Nowadays Keith ‘s rolodex counts well beyond 10,000 contacts, whom he can count on to return his calls. In 2005, he shared everything he’d learned so far about being a good networker in Never Eat Alone .

Even back in 2005, over half of all jobs were found through personal contacts, with only 20% resulting from applying to advertisements and just 10% going to people as a result of unsolicited applications. By now, over 80% of jobs are landed through networking , so a few tutoring lessons in this subject you never had in school can’t hurt, can they?

Here are 3 lessons to help you become a better networker:

• Relationships aren’t like cake, they’re like muscles.
• You must build your network long before you need it.
• How you spend time with people is much more important than how much time you spend with them.

Ready to become a super-connector? Let’s do this!

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Lesson 1: Relationships don’t disappear like cake, they grow like muscles.

There’s a great analogy in the book to describe how relationships actually work, which is a good thing to know before you start building them. Keith says they’re not like cake, which disappears over time, because it gets smaller with every slice you take.

Relationships have a lot more in common with muscles. The more you use them, the stronger they get , because they grow each time you exercise them.

But just like your muscles, building relationships takes time. If you go to the gym for the short-term investment of working out once until you collapse, and then expect to look like Arnold the next day, you’re in for a disappointment. Instead, constant  generosity and loyalty will get you where you want to go. Sticking with the muscle example, if you show up to the gym twice a week for a year and are generous with how you treat your muscles (by giving them lots of breaks and eating well), you’ll reap the rewards of a good body.

For your relationships, this means not giving up on your co-workers once they’ve helped you with that PowerPoint issue you’ve encountered, and loyally repaying the favor, for example by generously listening to them for half an hour, if they tell you about their marital problems.

In a nutshell, if you want to be a good networker, never ask “How can others help me?”. Rather, always ask “How can I help others?” and you’ll do just fine.

Lesson 2: Start building your network now, not just when you need it.

There’s a really cool quote about the principle of starting early. “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today.” (here’s a cool pic of it on my Instagram )

Just like you can’t buy safety vests when your ship is already sinking, you have to build your network long before you need it . If you build a basis of understanding and trust  with someone, you can sure count on their help when you eventually face a problem you can’t solve alone . Nobody likes a leech, who only comes to you when they need your help. Everyone wants to feel respected and valued.

A good networker builds relationships like a marathon runner, not a sprinter. For example, when he was only 22 years old, Bill Clinton started writing down the names of everyone he’d met that day every evening, in order to remember them better. You can bet he called some of those people when he was campaigning to be president, and they helped him because they’d known him as a genuinely nice and interested guy long before.

Lesson 3:  How you spend time with people matters a lot more than  how much time you spend with them.

Most people get a headache thinking of networking, because they think of it in terms of width, not depth. You don’t have to have 10,000 contacts, like Keith, and you sure don’t have to send out 10,000 birthday cards each year. A good network doesn’t consist of fleeting acquaintances. It is a web of real, trusted friends .

That’s why you should look for what Keith calls  relationship glue. The stuff that turns acquaintances to friends. You know, the tough mountain climbing trip you go through alongside each other, the 4-hour, midnight philosophy talk, or the exciting football game you went to.

Don’t look at how much time you spend with people, just how you spend it with them. Get to know people in a setting where they’re having fun, not where they feel they have to make small talk , in order to comply with social conventions. The best small talk isn’t small talk at all .

Be open, honest, share vulnerable moments from your life, and, most importantly, give people your full attention . One friend is worth a thousand contacts, so don’t rush building your network. Take it one step and person at a time.

Never Eat Alone Review

That was a long summary. There’s tons of good stuff in Never Eat Alone , and since it mostly draws on Keith’s personal experience, it reads sort of like a biography, which makes the ideas from the book stick really well. Feels very much like a modern version of How To Win Friends & Influence People , and that’s a huge compliment!

Who would I recommend the Never Eat Alone summary to?

The 12 year old, who’s about to take her first mini job or volunteer a bit on the weekends, the 39 year old, who’s afraid he might’ve hit a career ceiling, and anyone who feels like they haven’t called an old friend in forever.

Last Updated on July 29, 2022

Niklas Göke

Niklas Göke is an author and writer whose work has attracted tens of millions of readers to date. He is also the founder and CEO of Four Minute Books, a collection of over 1,000 free book summaries teaching readers 3 valuable lessons in just 4 minutes each. Born and raised in Germany, Nik also holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration & Engineering from KIT Karlsruhe and a Master’s Degree in Management & Technology from the Technical University of Munich. He lives in Munich and enjoys a great slice of salami pizza almost as much as reading — or writing — the next book — or book summary, of course!

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Never Eat Alone, Expanded and Updated Hardcover – 3 June 2014

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• Print length 400 pages
• Language English
• Publisher Crown Currency
• Publication date 3 June 2014
• Dimensions 16.26 x 3.3 x 24.13 cm
• ISBN-10 9780385346658
• ISBN-13 978-0385346658
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About the author, excerpt. © reprinted by permission. all rights reserved., product details.

• ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0385346654
• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crown Currency; 2nd Expanded, Updated ed. edition (3 June 2014)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 400 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780385346658
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0385346658
• Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1 kg 50 g
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 16.26 x 3.3 x 24.13 cm
• Country of Origin ‏ : ‎ India
• #112 in Self-Help for the Workplace
• #127 in Communication & Social Skills (Books)
• #656 in Self-Help for Success

About the authors

Tahl Raz is a storyteller of big ideas in business, technology and the social sciences that are transforming the way we work and live. An award-winning journalist and best-selling author, he has edited and published in everything from Inc. Magazine and GQ to Harvard Business Review and the Jerusalem Post. Management guru Tom Peters called his first co-authored book, “Never Eat Alone,” one of “the most extraordinary and valuable business books” of recent history. The book is still in hardcover over a decade later and is now used as a textbook in MBA programs around the world. He has held roles as a Chief Content Officer, CEO of an online education company called MyGreenLight, and founder and editor-in-chief of Jewcy Media. He lives in New York City with his wife, daughter, and a very fat Pug named Bibi.

Keith Ferrazzi

Keith Ferrazzi is the author of the bestsellers Who’s Got Your Back and Never Eat Alone. Ferrazzi has been published in The Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Inc., and Fast Company. He was the youngest person to make partner and hold the position of Chief Marketing Officer at Deloitte Consulting, where he raised Deloitte’s brand recognition from lowest to a primary position, spurring the highest growth rate in the industry.

As founder and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight, Keith Ferrazzi transforms behaviors that block global organizations from reaching strategic goals into new habits that increase shareholder value. The firm’s Greenlight Research Institute has proven the correlation between practices that improve relationships and business success, particularly in sales performance and team effectiveness in an increasingly virtual world. Greenlight’s behavior engineering methodology for diagnosing and instilling the highest ROI behavior change is based on a decade of field engagements with iconic global organizations.

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Tung M Phung's Blog

Book review: never eat alone by keith ferrazzi.

Author : Keith Ferrazzi Published : 2005

Goodreads : 3.9/5 Barner&Noble : 4.0/5 Amazon : 4.1/5 (Jan 2020)

Keith Ferrazzi is the founder and CEO of Ferrazzi Greenlight, a management consulting firm, former founder of YaYa Media, CMO (Chief Marketing Officer) of Deloitte and Starwood Hotels & Resorts. In this first book, he describes why networking is important and how one can make it work. Despise its name, there is no advice to literally “ never eat alone ” proposed in the book. Instead, the book focuses on persuading readers about the benefits of networking, the skills should be practiced to build and maintain one’s own connections, how to utilize one’s network and lastly, to make networking beneficial not only for oneself but also for everyone.

Never Eat Alone can be structured around 7 main points:

Networking is good

The most crucial characteristic that determines our success is not intelligence, innate talent or background. Those factors are obviously important, however, we are not going anywhere if we do not learn by heart that we can never succeed alone.

Old schools taught us to be on our own. However, this concept is not true anymore. The achievements, in every area, especially business, are derived from helping, but not by standing up against, each other. Look at any field and we will see success always comes with help, not just from family members but also from many other people who happen to comes across one’s life. By having a big and healthy network, we are able to obtain better help when we need it on the way to achieve our targets.

A fun fact is that one tends to collaborate with whom he adores. So why shouldn’t we distinguish ourselves from the crowd and have our potential customers, bosses, and partners directly take a good look at us?

As another example, research shows that when finding a job, 17% of people got jobs from their close relationships, 55% from someone they sometimes meet, and the remaining 28% from someone they almost never meet at all. This fact emphasizes the importance of weak ties. Weak ties (or not-so-intimate relationships) bring us new worlds with lots of novel values.

Some might think that by taking advantage of one’s relationships to succeed is like cheating on the exams, to be more straightforward, unethical and despicable. This is also wrong and here are the reasons:

Our business may have ups and downs, yet our true friends and collaborators are still always with us. The market may have problems making our jobs unstable, maybe we want to leave the current company to make a start-up, in either way our network stays with us, it is our own asset that we will never lose.

Making new connections

Audacity brings with it motivation, strength, and magic. We cannot do a good job of making connections if being too shy to take action. Think about the worst-case scenario that can happen when we propose something to some others. The worst they can do is to decline, and in this case, we lose nothing. In other cases, they accept and we gain what we wanted. Thus, there is actually no excuses for not being bold.

However, on the opposite side, don’t be a networking jerk either. The traits of a jerk are:

• talking nonsense
• making no contribution
• acting badly to subordinates
• being untruthful
• being too greedy

These acts may, in the short-term, bring some profits, but be extremely detrimental to one’s life and work in the long run. Don’t be a bad guy!

One favored opportunity for connecting is through conferences. Carefully study the list of guests before the next meeting. Make a list of several personals you want to get acquainted with (normally, 2 or 3 are enough). This list should contain specific names of those people, not something general as company names or their positions. Note that we focus on PEOPLE, but not their companies or positions. Then, study them. The information may be personal (what they support and oppose, what they can be proud of) or related to their business (their company’s status, have they just released a new product). The source of information can be from the internet, public libraries, the news their company published, yearly reports, etc. Importantly, think of a way to start the conversation, a way to make a connection. This should be something you and he/she have in common, like a hobby or something we can do to benefit them, etc.

It would be even better if you do not come to the conference as a regular attendee. Here are some roles you can consider to make yourselves stand out of the crowd:

Be clear that our goals of attending conferences should not be on knowledge or relaxing, but on meeting and making acquainted. Here are the tips to get the most out of a conference:

People seem to be more open when having meals. Thus, that is a good idea to take breakfast, lunch or dinner with the ones we want to make friends with. This also works with some old friends we want to heat up. To save time and also to help people building their networks, we can invite some to a meal at once.

A meal in a restaurant is ok, however, a home-party would be even better. Making a party in your room and, if possible, having some highly respected personals coming also helps make your party more reputable and thus, be more attractive to others, who are not in your network yet. Take these tips for organizing a party:

Besides meeting directly, often, we are only able to make a call or send an email. The first call we make to someone we want to connect with is called a Cold Call, and to warm up a Cold Call (make the call more intimate and trustworthy), here are some formulas:

Whichever the method you used to contact with your target, directly, through a phone or via email, don’t forget to remind him/her of your existence, and possibly arrange an appointment. This can be done typically by email. You should remind them of yourselves in around 12 – 24 hours from the first meeting. For example, send an email expressing how the meeting was so interesting, how grateful you are, recall something you/he stated in the meeting and invite him to a cafe.

Maintain one’s current network

If growing a plant requires to water it regularly, to nourish a connection also demands to ping the other on a regular basis. By pinging , we mean a way to remind them of us, via a call or an email saying hi and ask if everything is going well, or a cafe/meal to catch up. Don’t let ourselves forget their names, also don’t let them forget our existence. Their birthdays seem to be a good time to ping, as it is specific to each person, thus making them feel more special.

Making a party also helps in maintaining our network. Be flexible, for your party, you can either invite all old acquaintances or some acquaintances plus strangers who you want to get to know. You can even suggest your acquaintances bring their connections to this party.

Enhancing your image also gives you advantages in meeting more people and more important people too, as one tends to be attracted by powerful and famous individuals. To do that, make your own personal brand. You have to be different from others, in a positive way.

Connect yourselves with the connectors, the ones who have large networks of connections. Be reminded that being a connector has some reputation as well. By being friends with them, we can ask for their help when we need it (they are very powerful), furthermore, they can help expand our networks. Those connectors may be of various occupations, typically:

• restaurant owner
• head-hunter
• public relations
• political and journalist

In the section above, we talked about making acquainted with the key persons of the conference to have more people come in, that is also one way of making us more popular (and more reputable), at least in the scope of that conference.

Best practices with networking

• Be generous. The more we help, the more we can get help. Connections are like muscles, the more we train, the stronger they are. Don’t take note of what we have helped other people.
• Make use of our networks to help others when they need it, introduce some people in our network to each other.
• We build our relationships by asking ourselves  what we can do to help them , but not  what they can do to help us .
• The most essential factors that bind people together are health, wealth and offsprings. This fact is scientifically proved by Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which places these factors at the lowest levels, where one needs the most.
• The biggest fault in networking is one only thinks about the others when one needs them. The right moment to start building our networks is right now, in other words, as soon as possible.
• The gatekeeper (the personal secretary) has a very important role, and to make contact with our targets easier, we should pay much attention to making close with their secretaries. Keith Ferrazzi had experienced how his relationship with Mary, Pat Loconto’s secretary, largely affected the way he worked. Kent Blosil, an ads-salesperson from Newsweek magazine also made his way through to Keith and made a successful deal with Deloitte when having Jenifer, Keith’s secretary, on his side.
• Be grateful to those who helped us.
• When having a small talk, don’t just try to take advantage of the others. Be yourselves, be honest and open-minded, listen and feel the others’ feelings.
• Don’t limit yourselves to only meet up with people at the same level (in terms of wealth, achievement, position, etc.) as you. Building up your targets, make it larger. Some people, who are already famous or on the way to be famous are very worth making connections. Be confident to make friends with them.

The importance of knowledge and expertise

Being connected also requires knowledge and expertise as well. One is considered interesting not only by having a fluent conversation but also by having and sharing knowledge. That said, to attract people, we need to be an expert on at least our fields to be beneficial and to be attractive to others, especially the ones we want to be friends with.

On the other point of view, people tend to work with whom they like, however, the partner must also be good at work too.

The advice is to have your own perspectives in different aspects of life and be specialized in some fields. Here are some guidelines:

One very important skill you need to hone is the art of storytelling. Being able to tell good stories will make your work more persuasive, thus more likely to affect people and convince them.

Overall advice

Follow your passion. If you have found your passion, chase it with all you have. It is better to go all-out for things we are willing to do, not what we should do or what we have to do.

Set goals. To achieve what you want most efficiently, the tip is to set up goals. The more specific your goal is, the easier it is to develop a strategy to achieve that goal. Remember that goals have to be specific, feasible and challenging.

You may consider setting a big goal (for the next 3 or 5 years) and some small goals (in shorter periods of time, e.g. 90 days) that contribute to the big goal.

You should write down your plan to achieve the goals and preferably share it with others. By writing down and sharing, we show our commitment to accomplish it.

Mentors and mentees. Having mentors and mentees are both important, at any time. A mentor is often a more experienced one who has a lot to teach us and also willing to guide us. A good mentor provides the shoulder of the giant to stand on, forcing us to be responsible to our goals when we are too lenient to ourselves, but also motivate us when we are down.

A mentee is someone who needs our help with guiding and orienting his direction. The best way to learn is to teach. The relationship of a mentor and a mentee should be win-win, thus, to persuade someone to be your mentor or mentee, let him know what he will benefit from this relationship.

Take the initiating step. This is often the hardest and people are reluctant to do it. However, if we are able to break through our psychological obstacles and build things from the ground, we learn more and get more. In the book, Keith gives his own example of building a club about Total Quality Management when he is not allowed to join the reputable clubs of successful people.

Writing . Writing is always an important skill, in life, at work, and even for networking. Imagine we want to make a connection with somebody, why not write about them, with that, we can call or make an appointment for an interview with them, which is a really good chance for making acquainted.

Be cautious of hubris. When we are closer to powerful people, we will feel we are powerful too. Keep our feet on the ground. Being arrogant will steal from us not only the business but also the precious connections we have long built.

No work-life separation . There should not be a separation between work and life. Make our work interesting so that we consider it as a part of our life. When we are having fun with our work, the equation of work-life balance disappears.

Last but not least, know your first priority . We people often spend our whole youth to pursue wealth and glory, just to realize they are ephemeral at older ages. Take time to contemplate what your utmost wish is, like how Keith spent 10 days on the Vipassana meditation course. Answer the question: what really makes you happy? In the end, the reason should be related to our relationships with others, instead of anything else. Be a good person and help others.

My final thoughts

This is a good book that deserves its National Bestseller Prize. Despise being first published in 2005, the book is frequently updated by the author to keep it up with the ever-changing market and digital world. Through his writing, Keith Ferrazzi delivers to readers a comprehensive view of social networking, from its benefits to tips and guidelines he had applied successfully in his career. I would recommend everyone to take a read.

The book: Never Eat Along and other secrets to success, one relationship at a time by Keith Ferrazzi .

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