how to write a speech for a bat mitzvah

How To Write a Bat Mitzvah Speech for Friends (20 Tips)

Being asked to give a Bat Mitzvah speech is a great honor. It’s an opportunity to share your connection to the Bat Mitzvah girl and her family.

Here’s how to write a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends:

To Write a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends, brainstorm a list of traits and stories about the Bat Mitzvah girl. Select 5-10 comments and place them in a simple outline. Start a Bat Mitzvah speech by introducing the young lady, then share a few stories, and close with an emotional message.

In this article, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to write Bat Mitzvah speeches for friends.

What Is a Bat Mitzvah Speech?

Table of Contents

A Bat Mitzvah speech is a speech given by or for a Jewish girl during her Bat Mitzvah ceremony. The speech is usually about the girl’s journey to becoming a Bat Mitzvah, and her thoughts on what it means to be a Jewish woman.

The Bat Mitzvah ceremony is an important milestone in a Jewish girl’s life when she reaches the age of 12.

The Bat Mitzvah speech is often seen as a way for the girl to share her thoughts and feelings about becoming a Jewish woman. The speech can be serious or lighthearted, but it should always be respectful.

A Bat Mitzvah speech is typically delivered to the guests at the Bat Mitzvah ceremony, and it is often followed by a question and answer session.

The speech can also be given to the community at large, such as at a synagogue or Jewish community center.

A Bat Mitzvah speech should be well-thought-out and prepared in advance. It is important to remember that the audience will include people of all ages, so the speech should be appropriate for all listeners.

When giving a Bat Mitzvah speech, it is important to be sincere and honest.

The speech should be from the heart, and it should reflect the girl’s true feelings about becoming a Bat Mitzvah.

A Bat Mitzvah speech can be a wonderful opportunity to share the joy of becoming a Bat Mitzvah with family and friends. It can also be a time to reflect on what it means to be a Jewish woman and to start thinking about the future.

20 Best Tips For Writing Bat Mitzvah Speeches for Friends

As someone who has written many speeches, including Bat Mitzvah speeches for friends, here are my 20 best tips.

1) Keep It Personal

When you’re writing a speech for a friend’s Bat Mitzvah, it’s important to keep the tone personal.

This is your opportunity to share your memories and experiences with the guest of honor, so make sure your speech reflects your personal relationship with the guest of honor.

2) Be Sincere

Sincere speeches are always the best kind, so make sure your words come from the heart.

Your friend will appreciate hearing how much you care about her, and your sincerity will be evident in your words.

3) Be Positive

It’s important to focus on the positive when you’re giving a speech at a Bat Mitzvah.

This is a happy occasion, so be sure to keep your words and stories positive and uplifting. This is not the time for cruel jokes, teasing, or sarcastic jabs at the Bat Mitzvah girl’s expense.

4) Make It Unique

Your friend’s Bat Mitzvah is a once-in-a-lifetime event, so make sure your speech is just as special.

Share a personal story or memory that will make the day even more unforgettable. Work hard on your speech, practice, and think of unique ways to celebrate your friend.

5) Keep It Short

Although you may be tempted to write a long speech, it’s important to keep it concise. Remember that you’ll be sharing the spotlight with other speakers, so try to keep your remarks brief.

As a rule of thumb, shoot for a 3-5 minute Bat Mitzvah speech.

6. Use Humor Sparingly

A little bit of humor can go a long way, but be careful not to overdo it. You don’t want your speech to come across as cheesy or insincere.

If you do include humor, use it sparingly.

Focus on complementary and meaningful remarks and stories that focus on the Bat Mitzvah girl.

7) Avoid Offensive Material

This is a day to celebrate, so avoid anything that might be offensive to your friend or her guests. Stick to safe topics that everyone can enjoy.

If you wonder if something may be offensive, either check with the Bat Mitzvah girl or leave the material out.

The last thing you want to do is unintentionally ruin your friend’s special day.

8) Practice Beforehand

When it comes to speeches, practice makes perfect.

Take some time to rehearse your speech beforehand so you can deliver it with confidence on the big day. Practicing will also allow you to hear how certain word combinations, sentences, and stories sound out loud.

Not everything translates from the written page to the spoken word.

In this way, practicing can help you edit and revise your Bat Mitzvah speech so that it is polished and shines.

9) Speak Slowly

It can be easy to get nervous when you’re speaking in front of a large group, but try to speak slowly and deliberately.

This will help you remain calm and focus on your words.

Speaking slowly when you practice can also help you know which words to keep in your speech and which ones you can cut or change.

10) Use a Logical Speech Structure

When planning and writing your Bat Mitzvah speech for friends, remember to use a logical speech structure.

That usually means:

• Short introduction
• Body with a few main points and stories
• Short conclusion

You can also use the time to structure your speech.

For example, you might tell a story that happened 3 years ago, then one that occurred 2 years ago, and finally a story that happened just last month.

11) Use Proper Grammar

Although you may be speaking slightly off the cuff, it’s important to use proper grammar.

This will show that you’re taking the occasion seriously and help you deliver your words effectively. As much as possible, use standard grammar so that it doesn’t distract from your message.

12. Mix in Spirituality

Since the Bat Mitzvah celebration is closely tied to religion and spirituality, don’t be afraid to mention a scriptural concept or quote the Torah.

I probably wouldn’t quote more than one or two verses, but blending in religion can enhance almost any speech.

13) Tell Stories

When giving a Bat Mitzvah speech, it is important to focus on stories.

This is because stories help to personalize the speech and make it more meaningful for both the Bat Mitzvah girl and her guests. When selecting stories to share, choose those that are memorable and have a moral lesson or message.

The stories can be about anything from the time the Bat Mitzvah girl stood up for a friend to a time she made a mistake and learned from it.

By sharing these stories, you will not only entertain the guests but also offer them a glimpse into the Bat Mitzvah girl’s life and values.

14) Paint a Picture

Your words should paint a picture in your listener’s mind.

Use descriptive language to bring your stories and examples to life. After all, this is a once-in-a-lifetime event, and you want the speech to be memorable.

One way to do this is to use vivid adjectives and descriptors.

For example, instead of simply saying that your friend is “smart,” you could say that she is “whip-smart” or “incredibly intelligent.” Or, instead of calling her “courageous,” you could say that she is “fearless” or “brave.”

By painting pictures with your words, you can help to create a lasting impression that will be sure to inform and entertain your audience.

15) Be Prepared for Questions

If you’re asked to give a speech at a Bat Mitzvah, be prepared for questions from the audience.

A question and answer period is not unusual at a Bat Mitzvah. Being prepared shows that you’re knowledgeable about your friend and the customary process for this special celebration.

16) Know Your Audience

When you’re writing a Bat Mitzvah speech, it’s important to keep your audience in mind.

Be sure to tailor your remarks to the age group and interests of the guests. Most importantly, tailor your speech to the personality, style, and preferences of the Bat Mitzvah girl.

17) Connect With Your Listeners

The best way to connect with your audience is to find common ground.

Share an experience or story that everyone can relate to (such as the anxiety and excitement building up to the Bat Mitzvah party). And then build on that common ground by taking your listeners on an emotional journey that culminates in a series of praise for your friend.

18) Use Concrete Examples

When you’re making a point in your speech, be sure to use concrete examples.

For example, you could talk about the time she went out of her way to help you when you were feeling down, or the time she made you laugh when you needed it most. By sharing these kinds of stories, you’ll not only give the audience a sense of who your friend is, but you’ll also show them why she means so much to you.

This will help your listener understand and remember your words. Concrete examples are more engaging and stick in our minds longer than vague anecdotes.

19) Address the Parents

Although your speech is primarily for the Bat Mitzvah girl, it’s important to address her parents as well.

Thank them for their support and express your best wishes for the future. This shows respect and appreciation for their contribution to your amazing friend.

20) End On a High Note

When you’re wrapping up your speech, be sure to end on a positive note.

This will leave your audience with a good feeling and make your friend’s special day feel even more optimistic and memorable for everyone involved.

Here is a good video about how to write a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends:

How Do You Write a Good Bat Mitzvah Speech for Friends?

It can be difficult to write a good bat mitzvah speech for friends because you want to make sure that it is both meaningful and fun.

There are a few things to keep in mind when writing a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends.

• First, it is important to remember that this is a formal occasion. As such, your speech should be respectful and appropriate.
• Second, the focus of your speech should be on the Bat Mitzvah girl – her accomplishments, her hopes and dreams for the future, and how proud you are of her.
• Third, consider what your friend’s interests are. This will help you decide what kind of tone to take with your speech.
• Fourth, think about what you want to say. You may want to share a memory of your friend or offer some words of wisdom for her future.

If your friend is more serious, you may want to focus on the importance of this milestone in her life. If she is more fun-loving, you may want to add some humor to your speech.

With these things in mind, you are ready to start writing your Bat Mitzvah speech for friends.

Be sure to take your time and write from the heart. Your words will be sure to touch the hearts of all who hear them.

How Do You Start a Bat Mitzvah Speech for a Friend?

Here are some tips on how to start your Bat Mitzvah speech.

First, you will want to introduce yourself. Say who you are and how you know the bat mitzvah girl. This will help the audience to connect with you and your relationship with the honoree.

Next, take a moment to congratulate the bat mitzvah girl on this milestone achievement.

Let her know how proud you are of her and all that she has accomplished.

Now is the time to share a personal story or memory about the bat mitzvah girl. This could be something funny, heartwarming, or inspirational. Whatever story you choose to share, make sure it is appropriate for the occasion.

How Do You End a Bat Mitzvah Speech for a Friend?

Assuming you want to give a nice speech at your friend’s Bat Mitzvah, there are a few ways to end it.

You could simply say something like, “I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.” This is a classic way to end any speech, and it applies perfectly to a Bat Mitzvah speech.

Alternatively, you could end on a more personal note.

For example, you might say something like, “I know you’re going to do great things in your life, and I can’t wait to see all that you accomplish.”

This is a great way to show your support for your friend and her future.

Finally, you could end with a quote. This could be a quote about friendship, life, or anything else that you think is appropriate. Just make sure that the quote is meaningful and memorable.

Bat Mitzvah Speech for Friends Example

Let’s look at an example Bat Mitzvah speech for friends.

Hello everyone. I would like to start by thanking everyone for coming to the Bat Mitzvah celebration. I am so honored to be here today to celebrate my best friend’s Bat Mitzvah. This is truly a milestone moment in her life, and I am so happy to be sharing it with her. It feels like only yesterday we were in school together, and now she’s a young woman. My friend has always been so special to me, and I know she’ll continue to grow into an amazing adult. I remember one time, we were in school and you had to give a presentation in front of the whole class. You were so nervous, but you did it anyway and you did an amazing job. That’s the kind of courage and strength you need to have to become a bat mitzvah. I have known her since we were both just little girls, and she has always been one of the kindest, sweetest people I know. She is always looking out for others and always ready to lend a helping hand. She is someone who truly cares about others, and I know that she will continue to make a difference in the world. This past year has been a tough one for all of us, but she has continued to be a shining light in my life. She is always there for a hug or a chat when I need it, and I know she will continue to be a great friend. I am so proud of you and everything you have accomplished. I know that you will continue to make your mark on the world and make a difference in the lives of those around you. I wish you all the best in everything you do, and I know that you will continue to make us all proud. In the end, I want to say congratulations again to my friend on this special day. I know that she’ll continue to accomplish great things in her life. I have known her for many years, and I know that she has a bright future ahead of her. Thank you all for listening.

What Not To Include In a Bat Mitzvah Speech?

Here are a few things you should not include in a Bat Mitzvah speech for your friend:

• Avoid using inside jokes that only the family will understand – keep your speech relatable to everyone in the room.
• Don’t make fun of anyone in the room, including the Bat Mitzvah girl – it’s not appropriate and people will feel uncomfortable.
• Resist the urge to get sentimental and cry – it’s okay to get choked up, but try to keep your emotions in check so that you can finish your speech.
• Don’t make any promises you can’t keep – for example, don’t say you’ll be there for the bat mitzvah girl every step of her life if you know you won’t be able to fulfill that commitment.
• Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want the Bat Mitzvah girl to hear – remember, she’s going to be listening to your speech!
• Don’t use offensive language – even if you’re just joking around, it’s not appropriate for a Bat Mitzvah speech.
• Don’t wing it – prepare your speech in advance so you don’t forget anything important.
• Most importantly, don’t forget to say congratulations and Mazel Tov to the bat mitzvah girl! She’s accomplished a lot and deserves your best wishes.

Final Thoughts: How To Write a Bat Mitzvah Speech for Friends

When it comes to giving a Bat Mitzvah speech for friends, the key is to focus on what makes your friend special.

If you need help writing your speech, you might consider using an AI writer like Jasper or Copymatic .

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Academy for Jewish Religion

Crafting the Perfect Parent Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speech

by Rabbi Danielle G. Eskow | Aug 24, 2023 | Life Cycle Events , Uncategorized

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony is a significant milestone in a young child’s life, marking his/her transition into adulthood according to Jewish tradition. As parents, it’s natural to feel immensely proud of your child and want to express your love and admiration through a heartfelt speech. This blog post offers a parent Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech sample, along with tips to guide you through crafting the perfect Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech, ensuring this special day is unforgettable for your child, family, and friends.

Short Summary

Parents must understand the importance of crafting a memorable Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech for their child.

Incorporate humor, emotion and personal anecdotes to create an inspiring and personalized speech.

Follow tips such as finding your voice, practicing regularly & incorporating Jewish values & traditions into your presentation.

Creating a Memorable Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speech

Creating a speech that will be remembered for many years is key to making an impression at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. As parents, it’s important to share their child’s journey through life so far as well as express pride and thank family members and friends who have been supportive during the process. A memorable address can touch everyone present on such a special day in the boy’s life, leaving them with memories they won’t soon forget.

To craft this unforgettable moment effectively, it is vital to know what makes great Bar/Bat Mitzvah speeches: understanding parent roles in celebration events while including crucial components which bring emotion into play – all of these working together result in oration success!

The Role of Parents

Parents are essential to their child’s Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebration. This ceremony marks a spiritual transformation from child into young adult by instilling values and convictions as they enter adulthood.

The role of parents is crucial when it comes time for speech delivery at this special occasion. Words that express love and pride combined with accomplishments achieved throughout life will make your remarks memorable. Demonstrating encouragement in them maturing religiously makes it even more significant, which undoubtedly leaves an indelible impression on guests present at the event honoring your wonderful child!

Key Elements of a Great Speech

Creating a great Bar mitzvah or Bat mitzvah speech involves integrating humor, emotion and personal memories to captivate the crowd. Keep it succinct yet informative with an introduction, body and closing which will make a great D’var Torah. Acknowledge those who have helped you along the way, such as family members and friends, by expressing gratitude for their support. To gain ideas on how to deliver this powerful message, check out online examples of what other people used for successful speeches in years past. With these components combined there’s sure to be appreciation from all in attendance celebrating your child’s growth into adulthood impacting them positively throughout life moving forward

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Parent Bar Mitzvah Speech Examples

We have collected several examples of Bar Mitzvah speeches, which will help guide and motivate you in creating your own. These showcases illustrate the wide-ranging possibilities for constructing a speech that is reflective of your child’s unique history and character.

From deeply emotional to comical renditions, there truly is something available for every individual. To assist with conveying an address reflecting on this momentous occasion, these samples provide helpful insight into how to curate words specific to your recipient’s life story while simultaneously pleasing all who are present at the celebration!

Heartfelt and Emotional

For a truly special family moment, an emotive and touching speech is necessary to capture the audience’s attention. Incorporating storytelling along with humor or anecdotes can make your talk more memorable by highlighting your child’s remarkable qualities and accomplishments while also showcasing how important this event really is. It should be genuine in order for it to have the greatest effect on those present – making it an even more meaningful experience.

Humorous and Light-hearted

Creating a speech that is both humorous and heartfelt can result in an immensely proud moment for your child. One way to achieve this balance between humor and sentimentality while delivering the address is by using funny anecdotes or stories from their life. Using props, jokes, quotes, puns or gestures will boost audience engagement as well as help them remember it better.

Lighthearted teasing of quirks possessed by your child can be incorporated into the ceremony’s speech in order to bring smiles on everybody’s faces. Crafting such a combination of humor and sincerity ensures everyone appreciates what you have put together!

Reflective and Inspirational

Creating a speech to honor your child’s growth and encourage them towards their Jewish heritage can be an inspiring experience. Reflection on how the Torah portion relates to their journey offers a meaningful understanding of what accomplishments they have achieved. The talk should emphasize promoting good personhood while weaving in themes from Judaism – this will positively guide them through life’s challenges and create motivation along the way.

Tips for Writing and Delivering Your Bar or Bat Mitzvah Speech

As we have looked at some examples of speeches, it’s time to consider how best to write and present a meaningful Bar and Bat Mitzvah speech. By following these helpful tips, you can create an effective address that will be cherished by both your child and the gathered guests on this extraordinary day.

Begin with jotting down any thoughts or suggestions in just a few words as points. Take ample amount of time considering what essential facts should be included in the message. Then work through each point carefully so they are structured into one succinct narrative for the occasion of their Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebration!

Finding Your Voice

It’s essential to sound genuine and heartfelt when delivering your speech in order to create a strong connection with the listeners. Incorporate your own values, experiences, and beliefs into what you are saying for maximum effect. To discover this special voice of yours that resonates with audiences, think about who you really are as an individual. Crafting a narrative based on these aspects will make sure that everyone understands exactly where you’re coming from, enabling them to engage more deeply while listening.

Practice Makes Perfect

Preparing your talk is essential to make sure the delivery runs smoothly and that you have assurance during the event. Going over material thoroughly and rehearsing how it will be presented can help ease nerves when speaking before a crowd.

To use practice time as efficiently as possible, put these tips into action.

• Speak out loud while timing yourself.
• Practice in front of a mirror for observing body language or facial expressions made during speech presentation.
• Involve family members or friends who could provide constructive feedback on improving performance prior to delivering at an important occasion like this one today! Utilizing such methods should assist with better delivery overall plus making sure preparation has been completed beforehand so there are no unexpected surprises come showtime!

Engaging the Audience

Engaging the crowd is essential when delivering an effective Bar or Bat Mitzvah speech. Here are some tips for success: staying connected with your audience through eye contact, positive body language to emphasize points and boost a bond between you and them, plus demonstrate enthusiasm throughout your delivery. Utilizing these techniques can make sure that the address will be both unforgettable and enjoyable for all in attendance.

Effective posturing consists of gestures, facial expressions, as well as stance to help stress key thoughts while building trustworthiness among listeners – by knowing how to work with these methods you’ll capture everyone’s attention thus keeping it engaged during all parts of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah speech.

Incorporating Jewish Values and Traditions

For your Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah speech to be truly special, it is essential that you draw upon the rich Jewish values and traditions in order to make your words resonate with deeper meaning. By incorporating this cultural heritage into a heartfelt address at such an important milestone event for your child’s life, their Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah will become all the more meaningful.

The Torah Portion Connection

Creating a meaningful Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah speech that reflects your child’s journey with their Torah portion is possible by drawing connections between the two. Look for words, phrases or stories which have an impact on your own life and those of others around you – this will assist in forming strong ties from the scriptural text to your child’s individual experiences. This type of narrative can be very powerful when sharing at such an important moment as a Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah celebration. By reflecting upon these links and highlighting them throughout your speech, it gives greater recognition to both special people. The one being honored, Your child!

Blessings and Prayers

When making a Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah speech, including customary Jewish prayers and blessings serves to highlight the spiritual magnitude of this event as well as demonstrating honor for traditional Jewish practices. Such blessings such as Mi Shebeirach prayer for healing or even those traditionally offered by parents are commonly inserted into these speeches providing an intimate touch while emphasizing your child’s Judaism. Through doing so, you demonstrate respect for Jews’ customs and make it all more personal too. Creating a richer meaning not only in relation to your son/daughter but also on behalf of everyone present at the ceremony itself.

To bring together the perfect Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah address, one must include a unique combination of heartfelt anecdotes, humor and emotion while infusing Jewish values that are pertinent to this important life milestone. By using these tips mentioned here, you can create an unforgettable speech that will honor your child’s journey in celebrating his or her Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah event and be filled with joy, pride and lasting memories.

Frequently Asked Questions

What do you say in a parents bat mitzvah speech.

This morning, we were delighted to witness your strong sense of leadership as you led the congregation in prayer. We are so immensely proud [insert first name of your child], especially today on this special day when you have become a Bat Mitzvah! Congratulations and keep up the great work!

What do I say to my child on their Bar or Bat Mitzvah?

I’m filled with immense pride for you each and every day. Your achievement is the result of all your dedication, and I congratulate you on that!

Today marks a special occasion – let’s celebrate this Bar and Bat Mitzvah together!

What is the role of parents in a Bar or Bat Mitzvah speech?

In honor of their child’s coming-of-age, parents play a significant role in Bar Mitzvah celebrations. As part of this responsibility, they have the chance to express both love and pride for their son or daughter through meaningful words spoken during the speech. This is also an opportune moment to thank family members and friends who offered support throughout this time as well as recognize just how special achieving a Bar Mitzvah really is. Parents can share any advice from life experiences along with hopes for what lies ahead in store while addressing those gathered on such an important occasion.

How can I connect my child's Torah portion to their personal qualities or experiences?

Examining the topics of your kid’s Torah part and relating them to their own life is an effective way for constructing a thoughtful narrative that they can ponder upon.

What are some tips for engaging the audience during my Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah speech?

Maintaining eye contact, using confident body language and displaying enthusiasm are the best ways to make your speech engaging for any audience. Keeping a positive attitude will create an unforgettable experience that is sure to stay with those who have heard it. Utilizing these tips when delivering speeches ensures connecting with listeners in a memorable way.

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Bar Mitzvah Speech

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(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI .)

Here’s looking at you, kid. Literally.

Regardless of whether they began walking at six months, became the cross-country champion or they have finally managed to eat their vegetables without crying, there isn’t a more intimate way of honouring a child’s transition to adulthood than a well-written speech.

How To Structure Your Bar Mitzvah Speech

• Welcome the guests: Acknowledge those who have come to celebrate this special day.
• Share some   anecdotes from either your childhood or your son’s. What quirks and habits have made him into the man he is today?
• Thank the family: Pay tribute to those who have helped raise you or your son.
• Finish with a nod to the future: Look forward to this new, wonderful chapter of your/your son’s life.

Let’s run through it in more detail…

Welcome The Guests

If you’re writing a speech for your son’s Bar Mitzvah, begin by welcoming those who have joined you for this joyous celebration.

Warm up acknowledging the fact you are no longer able to lie about your child’s age in order to purchase discounted theme park tickets. Confess that not only are you ready to part with your child’s youth, and certainly not ready to give up playing Nintendo with him.

If you are sharing a few words to commemorate your own Bar Mitzvah, it’s likely you’ll be doing so after your parents. Thank them for your kind words, but don’t forget to remind them that becoming an adult today doesn’t mean they can start charging rent tomorrow.

Share Some Anecdotes

As a parent of a young man entering the next chapter of their life, you’ll have a vault of memories and have witnessed the development of his personality traits. Reminisce on old stories and habits that will allow the room to recognise the person you’re talking about today.

It goes without saying that, as a proud parent, you’ll want to spend hours gloating about the qualities in your son that you admire the most, but remember, you’re a parent! It’s almost a given that you take each and every chance to embarrass them.

Humour always goes down well in the context of even the most emotional of speeches, and this could be the perfect opportunity to remind your son how he has been an adult way before his years…as he continuously ran around the house as a toddler in his mum’s high heels and lipstick.

Equally, if you’re giving a speech at your own Bar Mitzvah, you may want to reminisce on your earliest memories and share a few favorites. No doubt you’ll have many heart-warming moments with your parents as you explored your faith and being a child, but the room will definitely appreciate a funny throwback and forgotten tale to get them laughing.

Remember, storytelling is a social bonding juice, so don’t just rely on adjectives. Bring your descriptions to life with great anecdotes that illustrate your points.

Thank The Family

Whilst it can be argued that every amazing quality in your son comes from the genetics of you and your partner, there will also be many family and friends that have contributed to your son’s remarkable childhood.

If you have any grandparents that took on multiple babysitting duties, or a favourite Uncle who has helped you prep for this particular day, be sure to acknowledge those who have helped you on this journey.

To The Future

Closing the door on childhood and walking into the daunting life that is adulthood can be quite daunting. If you are writing a speech to honour your son, touch on the traits and stories you mentioned previously and say how you think these will develop into adulthood.

Being a stubborn teenager may be ever-so-slightly-annoying now, but not giving up on what they want will be an amazing trait to carry into their future. No matter how many embarrassing anecdotes you’ve shared, wrap up by reminding them about how immensely proud you are and that you have no doubts about the adult they’ll become.

And if you are concluding your own Bar Mitzvah speech, what do you think your version of adulthood will look like? Are there any dreams you have or career goals you want to achieve? Or you are happy just going with the flow whilst aspiring to be half the adult your parents are.

Writing a great speech is only half the challenge. You also have to deliver the thing! Read our Delivery Advice to get a few tips.

Of course, whether it’s writing or delivering your speech that you need help with, Speechy can help. We’re famous for our celebration speeches as well as our wedding work.

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Our advice has been quoted everywhere from  The New York Times  to  Grazia  and from Forbes to The Observer . Our founder has also featured on the  BBC Sounds’ Best Men podcast with Jason Manford and written ‘ The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’ , published by Little, Brown.

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Guidelines for Bar/Bat Mitzvah Speeches

by Donna Jacobs Sife

A friend of mine living in Washington told me a story. When her son’s bar mitzvah was approaching one of her friend’s asked her “What’s your theme?” My friend thought for a moment and then responded, “Judaism”.

Thankfully, we are mostly spared the spectacle of extravaganzas here in Australia. But I think some of us still struggle with ambivalence at the thought of celebrating ‘Judaism’ at our child’s bar mitzvah reception.

One way of bringing heart and spirit to the occasion is through the speeches. It may be the only time the family can link the events in synagogue with the party that follows; the only moment in the whole proceedings that the family and guests can reconsider what they are doing, why they are there, and who they are honouring.

What follows are some ideas to consider when writing such a speech. It is specifically written for the parents of the bar mitzvah child, but may serve to guide anyone who intends to speak on the day.

• Share your own experience of becoming bar mitzvah. What it meant to you and your parents, what you did, how you celebrated. A meaningful speech can only come from the heart and therefore if you felt ambivalent when you became bar mitzvah, or didn’t have one, or it was not meaningful, then this is what you will say. And if, with reflection you can see what was missing, or what you would have liked, or how satisfied you felt about your own child’s bar mitzvah — then it is truth that is speaking and the heart is touched.

• Remember an anecdote that encapsulates the essential nature of your child. What are his/her qualities, what do you enjoy most about him/her? What do you see developing? What gives you pride? Do any of these qualities remind you of one of our forefathers or foremothers? Does he have the patience of Jacob? The depth of Moses? The kindness of Abraham? Or does she show astuteness and intuition like Rebecca, wisdom like Sarah?

• How did you feel when you heard him/her practicing and studying? What memories came back? Did you consider the parashah together? What insights, emotions, thoughts did you have coming into contact with the Torah like that?

• Try to find a connection with the portion of the Torah that was read. Through metaphor, symbol, imagery – sometimes it can be very meaningful to consider the portion with regards to your child, or your family history, or some other aspect of your lives.

• What Jewish values do you hold dear? Or if you feel more comfortable thinking of them as universal values, say that. What do you value in the world that you would like your child to also uphold? When you look at your child, how do you want him/her to see the world and be within it

• What does Judaism mean to you? Is it family, a way of life, a value system, a proud history? Talk about your own relationship with Judaism. This is a sacred Jewish passage, where a parent is handing his son or daughter to responsibility and adulthood. Let there be an inheritance of experience, ideas, reflection and pride.

• Include Israel, and mitzvot. Buy trees in Israel, organise beforehand to deliver leftover food to a shelter nearby — make your simcha bigger by asking your guests to give to a charity chosen by the bar mitzvah child, or bringing food for Mazon. This is the essential nature of a Jewish celebration.

• Consider using quotes from Jewish thinkers and scholars throughout the ages, or stories from particularly Chassidic sources (plenty on the web) that encapsualate what it is you wish to impart to the bar mitzvah child.

How rare and wonderful to stand before our family, friends and community to state what Judaism means to us!

Donna Jacobs Sife is a Sydney writer.

THE DELIVERY

by Pamela Lemberg

Some two years before its actual date, the average Jewish mother begins her frenetic preparations for her child’s bar or bat mitzvah.

Whereas the organisation of a successful party can be seen primarily as an administrative task, the writing of an effective bar mitzvah speech requires skills that many people find daunting. But the formula is really quite simple: begin at the present, the child that you see standing before you; return to the past, the journey that has taken the child from his/her birth to the here and now; and come back to the present and the future, the emotions of this milestone event and the appreciation of family and friends.

In order to create an easy, flowing presentation, the speech-maker should feel relaxed and confident. Too often the speeches are left to the last moment, are hastily written and so plainly under-rehearsed. Confidence can only come from adequate preparation, well in advance, and then much practice. And size is important too, five to ten minutes being the optimum length without becoming repetitive or boring.

Humour is a vital ingredient in the recipe for the success of a speech — not in the form of jokes, but more in the recounting of original anecdotes that create a picture of the child. Over-sentimentality should be avoided, as should the over-praising of the child in question.

A list of academic and sporting achievements while being a source of great pride for the parents, may not necessarily be of great interest to guests.

Unless one has a prodigious memory or is a skilled orator, it is safer to have a written, large-type transcript of the speech for reference.

However, if the presenter has rehearsed sufficiently and is comfortable with their speech, they may only need to glance at the notes from time to time.

Familiarity with the words will enable the speaker to look up and make eye contact with their audience, thus creating a bond.

Not having a transcript to follow creates the danger of drifting off at a tangent and losing flow and direction. And a smooth flow is paramount — the speech should run seamlessly from one topic to the next in a natural sequence.

When the bar or bat mitzvah child makes the speech, care should be taken to avoid the clichés that seem to be in vogue.

Some speeches are so predictable that you would be hard put to know whose function you were attending. For example: “To my mum, thank you for being there for me”. (Well, where else would a Jewish mother be?) “To my dad, thank you for shlepping me everywhere”. (What’s a Mercedes for?). Or, “Thanks to my grandma, who makes the best chicken soup and kneidlach” (Doesn’t that go without saying?).

The ideal bar or bat mitzvah speech should be informative, entertaining, not too long and just a little sentimental. It should make you laugh and it should make you cry — preferably at the same time. It should make you feel that you know the child well — and are glad to. And, above all, it should make every guest remember the event because of the quality of the speeches.

Pamela Lemberg is a Sydney-based speech writer and author of short stories and poetry.

These articles republished with thanks to the Australian Jewish News.

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Jewish Journal

Connect. inform. inspire., the easy way to write your speech for a bar/bat mitzvah.

• By Jewish Journal
• Published December 18, 2013

Most people are happier being reaudited by a fiber-deficient IRS agent than speaking in public. They’re even more fartutst about writing their own speeches. 

Sometimes, we have to do both. 

It’s easy for me. I’ve been a speechwriter all my life. But you can do it, too, anxiety-free, as long as you follow a few rules. In fact, if you’ve been asked to speak at someone’s bar or bat mitzvah, you may even find the process of writing a speech quite simple and fun. (Notice I said process.)

Where do you start? 

1. Prepare early . The minute the date is set and you know you’ll have a speaking part in the celebration, start thinking about what you might say. That gives you a year. Don’t wait until it’s 8:52 on Saturday morning, and the bar mitzvah begins in eight minutes. At that point, it’s almost too late for even a professional to help you.

2. Find a theme for your speech . There is a portion of the Torah read at every bar or bat mitzvah. It corresponds to that particular week and is called a parasha . It’s easy to look it up, along with its modern meaning. Maybe the theme is trust. Maybe bravery. Overcoming hardship. Tie that in with your special feelings for the child being celebrated. Add to it by sharing some of the best memories of that young person. “I remember the scooter when …” 

You could also refer to the honoree’s Hebrew name, connecting it to the biblical character with the same moniker, if there is one. However, if the child who is coming of age is named Boo Boo or Bugsy, you might have to be a little creative.

Your speech might also discuss the Jewish values and traditions you observe together. Lighting the Shabbat candles is one. Saying Kiddush. Celebrating Chanukah. That’s a classic approach. To be more contemporary, you could talk about how you and the bat mitzvah girl go rippin’ along the Pacific Coast Highway on your Harley every Sunday, or how you and the bar mitzvah boy have watched every episode of “Breaking Bad” over and over together, and are in the same 12-step program to stop. 

3. Don’t be intimidated . You’re not addressing Congress or the Supreme Court. This isn’t your Harvard entrance essay. It’s a private, family gathering. You’re not Jimmy Fallon and you won’t be appearing on national TV. You probably won’t even be on YouTube, unless the challah somehow starts dancing the lambada. It’s just you, your extended family and your friends. Everybody will be cheering for you. 

4. Make lists. Before trying to write sentences for my speeches, I make lists. Then my lists make lists. I move ideas around and add new ones. As a writer, I know better than to sit down at my desk, thinking I’ll nail something perfectly in the first draft. In reality, as ideas pop into my head, I scribble them on anything I can find, including the upholstery in my car. 

And rather than feel the panic of having to sit there and finish this speech tonight tonight tonight , I make an appointment with myself to write for five minutes a day on weekdays. Not everybody has a couple of hours each morning, but we all have five minutes — no skipping. I mark the appointment with me in my day planner. And even if the page is blank when my five minutes are up, I check off that time anyway. I’ve kept my commitment. Maybe tomorrow something good will appear during my warm-up session. Eventually, it always does. 

When I get a draft — no matter how scattered it is, I congratulate myself and haul out the candy corn. Rewards for good work go a long way. 

5. Hook ’em with a great opening. You have a captive audience. Don’t lose them by starting with recycled language. You’re not a cliché. Your speech at a bar or bat mitzvah shouldn’t be one, either.

In your opening sentence, be clever. Maybe a little funny, too. If you’re speaking at a reception, instead of simply thanking the chefs who brought hors d’oeuvres , how about, “The CIA confirms that Aunt Puddy, Auntie Lacy and Great Aunt Yakabovsky caught the carp, the whitefish and the pike themselves. Now that’s gefilte fish. And nobody named Manischewitz was involved.”

6. How long should I speak? Less is more. Keep it short. If you’re the only speaker, five minutes. If you’re sharing the time-slot, three. You want to say what’s in your heart, leave your fingerprint in the room, congratulate the honoree and his or her family, then sit down.

7. How do I end my speech? “ Mazel tov! ” and “ L’chaim !” get ’em every time.

Molly-Ann Leikin is an executive speechwriter and Emmy nominee living in Santa Monica. Her Web site is anythingwithwords.com .

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How to Create the Perfect Bar Mitzvah Speech

Your important coming-of-age ritual is fast approaching and that means you’ll need to articulate the components of your spiritual growth in front of your friends and family. You can even bring up other important rites of passage, like when the mohel circumcision procedure was conducted following your birth.

It’s time for your barmitzvah speech! Since you may have already heard a bat mitzvah speech and a bat mitzvah parent speech, you can easily brainstorm with your family to come up with a good story and flow. It’s not so scary when you know what to do. Below, we explain the steps you can take to secure a speech that makes everyone proud.

1. Start with An Outline of Your Speech.

Starting with an outline keeps you focused and allows your speech to have an easy-to-follow flow. Speeches are much like stories and require a basic structure that includes an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. Whenever you’re delivering a barmitzvah speech, there are certain elements to the message you can adhere to.

In your introduction, you can express gratitude to all attendees for their support of your coming-of-age ritual . In the body, you can share your personal feelings regarding your spiritual evolution and share an anecdote that epitomizes your strength and growth. When you conclude, you can turn your attention to your parents and 1) offer praise for their assistance in spiritual growth, 2) remind them they are loved immensely, and 3) finish by offering a blessing.

Think back to a memorable barmitzvah speech. Consider how the bat mitzvah speech you last heard was structured. Or try to recall the components of your favorite bat mitzvah parent speech. All of this will help you.

2. Identify Personal Stories.

As a young man emerging into the next phase of life, you house a vault of memories. Think about all the ways you have grown spiritually and jot down all the memories that come to mind. Try not to think of the “perfect” story, rather let the memories pour out from your heart. Put them on paper as they come, even if that means bullet points or long prose paragraphs.

This is also a good opportunity for you to connect with your family and discover what memories are most prominent in their minds, what has stood out the most from their perspectives, and what moments they cherish to this day. If you’ve heard them deliver a bat mitzvah speech, you know they remember all the little things. They may even help you recall stories from when you were younger and may have some anecdotes to share about your mohel circumcision procedure.

Here we summarize a few thoughts to consider, if you feel they deserve mention in your speech:

• How you have prepared for your special day
• What role you have taken with your family celebrations
• Your mohel circumcision procedure , which marked your faith and devotion from birth
• Your spiritual growth milestones, in the best way you can convey them
• Moments that demonstrate your growth into manhood

Don’t be afraid to incorporate humor here. This is a massive milestone in your journey and while speaking on your accomplishments and your religious progress is the main focus, you can always incorporate humor into your storytelling. Surely, there have been more than one or two moments during which you and your family have erupted in laughter. If you can weave humor into your speech, your audience is sure to be delighted along with you.

3. Incorporate the Torah.

As you brainstorm ideas for your speech, you will certainly come across a d’var Torah, which will help you better explain your evolution. There are many lessons to choose from and you can choose one which best relates to your personal experiences.

For instance, Abraham has always been a pillar in the realm of kindness, as he dedicated his life in service to others. Perhaps you can relate your inherent kindness to the story of Abraham and consider how you may have touched your friends with kind words and gestures, how you may have gone out of your way to help strangers, and how these lessons have gifted you with more wisdom throughout your life.

Abraham has taught many lessons, and two primary points he stresses in loving others include 1) exemplifying kindness with your entire heart and 2) going above and beyond in your quest to be helpful toward others. You can incorporate God’s words to Abraham, when he asked him to keep His covenant through the mohel circumcision procedure. Consider these teachings and how you have worked to exemplify them. From here, you are able to incorporate the Torah and correlate core teachings with stories of your own honorable behavior.

4. Write It All Down.

Once you’ve created your outline and you’ve jotted down the relevant stories you can recall, you can begin filling in the outline structure by putting it all on paper. Though it may feel counterintuitive, start your speech by filling in the body of it. Think of the last bat mitzvah parent speech you heard and recall how it was laid out.

The main portion of your speech is the body and should incorporate your personal stories and main points. When the body of your speech is filled out, it’s much easier to write out your introduction and your conclusion. This is because you already have the core of your speech completed and can easily incorporate it into both your introduction and conclusion.

Consider how you’d like to start your speech. Would you like to kick it off with a spiritual passage that you can weave into your entire speech? How about a quote that means something to you? You can also ask your parents about this and ask them to contribute some meaningful song lyrics or quotes they feel resonate strongly with them.

No matter what you choose to incorporate into your introduction and conclusion, note that unless the body portion of your speech is solidified, your intro and outro ideas may feel out of place, lacking congruence with the main portion of your speech. When you work around the body of your speech, you’re better able to create a harmonic flow that both sounds good once delivered and helps you stay on track once you’re in the moment.

5. Do Something Else.

Here’s another piece of counterintuitive advice: do something else. Whenever you’re working on something as important as a barmitzvah speech, it can feel like there’s a lot of pressure on you and you may experience overwhelm as you go through the process of developing it.

Your brain needs time to rest and reset after your initial writing session. Let your thoughts simmer on paper while you go off and tend to your regular day-to-day responsibilities. Try to recall your favorite bat mitzvah parent speech and what stood out the most. Feel confident with taking some downtime to engage with your favorite hobby, sit down with a cup of tea and a good book, or even watch a movie. All these actions give you sufficient time to let what you’ve written simmer, so when you come back to your filled outline, you have a new, refreshed perspective.

6. Edit and Rehearse.

With your fresh perspective, you’ll be able to identify pieces of your initial notes that come together seamlessly and also pieces that can be cut out of your final speech. Even when you have a great memory you’re excited to share, if it doesn’t fit into the overall flow of your speech, don’t hesitate to cut it out.

Most importantly, take the time to rehearse your speech from beginning to end. This will take a couple of tries but once you’re comfortable with the flow, you’ll be able to deliver it easily.

Delivering a barmitzvah speech (same with a bat mitzvah speech!) is one of the most satisfying experiences you are blessed to enjoy in your lifetime. This is an opportunity to make your speech your own and incorporate your deepest feelings of love and excitement along with being able to reiterate the importance of your Jewish faith .

So long as you deliver your speech with the fuel of love and kindness in your heart, you can’t go wrong. You will do a great job and represent your family and faith well. Here’s to a fantastic speech and celebration – Mazel tov!

We are excited to see you progress on your spiritual path! Did you find this article helpful? Share these tips with your friends on social media. They’ll thank you for it. Let us know how your speech goes and subscribe to our blog for more! And don’t forget – when you’re looking for a skilled Surgeon Physician Mohel, give us a call. We’re here to serve you.

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Speechworks

Here’s a template for a parent’s bar/bat mitzvah speech.

I wrote this post before I attended my 13-year-old cousin’s bat mitzvah, the traditional service marking a Jewish child’s passage into adulthood. A highlight of many bat/bar mitzvah services is the short blessing or speech from the parents.

The best of these speeches are touching and often a little funny. They have stories that help the congregation get to know the young man or woman who has been studying hard to lead the congregation through that morning’s a Shabbat service.

Along with my wife, I’ve written and delivered three of these two-minute b’nai mitzvah blessings. So if you’re not sure what to say, or if you’re a little nervous, here is our template that you can use to honor your young adult.

Opening Your Speech

Start by telling your daughter how proud you are. Then tell her and the congregation some of the personality traits about her that you most admire.

“[Insert first name of your child]. Your [mother/father] and I are so proud of how well you did today, leading the congregation in prayer this morning. But more than that, we’re proud of the wonderful young man/woman you’ve become.”

“You’re [insert the positive qualities that you admire about your child. For example you might say “You’re sweet, and kind and responsible.” Or “You’re friendly and extremely outgoing!” Or “You’re hard working and generous with your time!” or “You’re not just a wonderful pitcher for the baseball team. You’re warm and caring older brother.”]

Stories are the Best

Next, tell two or three short stories that illustrate your child’s wonderful qualities. Stories are what make these blessings great and memorable.

[I said that you are outgoing and friendly. I remember when we moved to Atlanta from New York. You were sad leaving behind your friends. But you didn’t waste time finding new friends. As soon as we settled into our neighborhood, you found the neighborhood directory and started calling up kids your age in the neighborhood. You said ‘Hi, I’m Elliott. I’m new to the neighborhood. Would you like to play sometime?’” You have to be the first child in history to cold call for friends. The funny thing is that it worked. Several of those friends are here today.”]

[I also said that you were hard working. I remember your first dance recital. You were up in front of a lot of people and you fell down. It was a little embarrassing and you told me so. But you didn’t get frustrated. Rather on the way home you just said to me ‘Dad, I think I need to practice more.’ And that evening, I heard you in the basement, practicing. Now you’re one of the best dancers on the dance team and you’re teaching us moves that we’ve never seen. You’ve even started teaching dance to younger kids at the JCC. Of course you bring that same determination to your studies and to your preparation for this day.]

If you want to add a third story, knock yourself out. But remember that no one wants to hear a long speech. When the Rabbi says “Keep it to two minutes,” he or she really wants it short. Remember, this is not your day. It’s your son or daughter’s day.

End by Going for the Heartstrings

Finish with a sincere pronouncement of love and admiration.

[Of course, we are proud of how you performed today. But that’s not nearly as important as the fact that were are incredibly proud of the young man/young woman that you’ve become. We love you.]

Don’t Forget to Practice . . . A Lot

Once you have the speech written, practice. My wife and I practiced enough so that we could recite it without notes. Lots of practice will help you overcome the natural nerves you’re going to feel.

If you feel you have to use notes, that’s OK. Just read with gusto. You want it to sound like you’re just telling stories at a dinner table.

Practice hard and you’re son or daughter will be as proud of you as you are of him or her.

Amen V'Amen

Traditional Judaism Meets Modern Judaism

Home » Planning a Beautiful Bar/Bat Mitzvah Candle Lighting Ceremony [Order & Ideas]

Planning a Beautiful Bar/Bat Mitzvah Candle Lighting Ceremony [Order & Ideas]

Bar/Bat Mitzvah candle lighting ceremonies have come a long way…

They started off as a nice & simple gesture: The Bar/Bat Mitzvah would light birthday candles (hey, it’s still a birthday after all) and invite close family members to light a candle with them.

That was pretty much it.

But then something happened…

Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations started growing… and growing… AND growing.

Unsurprisingly, the lighting ceremony grew along with it.

Now, you’ve got decorative candle lighting displays (as you’ll soon find out), poems, speeches, dedicated candle lighting songs …just to name a few.

Now, that’s what I call impressive progress!

I know what you’re thinking: “Damn…This all sounds complicated. How the heck do you plan such a ceremony? Where do I even begin??”

Don’t worry – all you need is a simple process, some Bar/Bat Mitzvah candle ceremony ideas and a dose of inspiration – and you’re off to the races!

Ready? Let’s begin…

Table of Contents

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Candle Lighting Ceremony Order

Here’s what a typical Bar/Bat Mitzvah candle lighting order looks like:

1. Decide how many candles you’re going to light

I know, I know… The answer is pretty obvious:

• If you’re a Bar Mitzvah: you light 13 candles
• If you’re a Bat Mitzvah: you light 12 candles

This isn’t exactly rocket science, now is it?

Hold your horses there, tiger! (cool – horses and a tiger in one sentence)

Now, let me ask you this: have you ever blown out birthday candles?

Of course you have… who hasn’t?

Do you remember that extra candle for “good luck”?

Well, it’s the same deal when you light Bar/Bat Mitzvah candles – you can choose to add an extra candle for good measure (just in case 12/13 candles aren’t enough to squeeze in poor auntie Bracha).

2. Decide who you’re going to call up to light a candle

You better think this one out CAREFULLY.

We don’t want any hurt feelings, now do we?

Trust me, you don’t want to wake up the next day and find out that auntie Rachel was so pissed that you didn’t invite her to light a candle, that she blocked you on Facebook (especially since auntie Bracha was invited! Shame on you!).

3. Decide the order you’re going to call them up

Careful, you’re still walking on eggshells with this one…

Think about it – wouldn’t auntie Rachel get offended if you called auntie Bracha to light a candle before her?

Point is – think carefully who should light candles, and in what order. You’d be surprised how easily a nice gesture can backfire.

In most cases, the candle lighting order looks something like this:

• A memorial candle to honor the deceased
• Grandparents
• Aunts & Uncles
• Older family relatives
• Younger family relatives
• People who came from a distance
• Older family friends
• Younger family friends
• The Bar/Bat Mitzvah’s friends
• Special guest/s of honor

Remember – this isn’t a magic formula. Make your own adjustments to fit your own needs.

4. Dedicate a song to each person  

Remember when Rocky used to enter the ring? They played his favorite same song every time he made his big entrance to get him all pumped up for the fight.

Same thing when you invite someone to light a candle (although I hope there won’t be a boxing match between auntie Bracha and auntie Rachel).

Dedicate a song to each person you’re inviting to light a candle. Ideally, you’d want to choose a song they like or can relate with.

If no song comes to mind, then you can choose a song from this list of Bar/Bat Mitzvah songs .

Tip for the Jokers: If the people you’re inviting up have a good sense of humor – choose a song that makes them LOL.

5. Dedicate a small speech for each person 

Just like you wouldn’t give an Oscar award without introducing the person, and explaining why they were nominated in the first place – you shouldn’t invite someone to light a candle without first introducing them to your guests, and explaining why they “won” a spot in the candle lighting ceremony.

Think about it this way: If the person you’re inviting got you a  customized Bar Mitzvah gift (or Bat Mitzvah gift ), don’t they at least deserve a customized speech?

But how do you even write such a speech?

Don’t worry, it’s less tedious than it sounds. Let’s take a closer look…

How to Write Bar/Bat Mitzvah Candle Lighting Speeches & Poems

Here’s the recipe for a winning candle-lighting speech (or poem):

1. Tell a personal story

A candle-lighting ceremony can make people cry out of excitement, or it can make people cry out of boredom.

How do you make it the former and not the latter?

Stories. Personal stories.  

The last thing you want to do is sound like you’re just reading from some random speech you downloaded from the internet. 

You want to personalize your speech to the person lighting the candle.

But what if it’s your Mom’s second cousins from Australia whom you barely know?

Well, then you can say something like:

“I would like to thank my mom’s cousin, Bracha, for coming all the way from Australia to my Bar Mitzvah.

Bracha and my mom grew up together, and she keeps telling me how much fun they had playing in their high school band when they were young. Bracha always encouraged my mom to keep playing the violin, even when everyone else told her: “Meydele – you should quit this violin nonsense and go get a real job”.

Well, thank g-d she listened to Bracha. Because if she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have met my dad in one of the concerts she was playing, and I wouldn’t be standing here today.

Bracha flew all the way from Australia (that’s a 16-hour flight!) to attend my Bar Mitzvah. That shows you what type of person she is.

Bracha, I truly appreciate everything you’ve done and for being here with us tonight…”

Who the hell is cutting onions over here?!

2. DRY: Don’t Repeat Yourself

Make sure you don’t repeat yourself over and over again. This goes hand in hand with telling a personal story.

Trust me, auntie Rachel wouldn’t like to be called up the stage with the exact same speech you gave auntie Bracha.

Yes, it does require some extra effort, but believe me – it’s worth it.

3. Express your Emotions

The words you use are only half the battle. Your body language and tone of voice are the other half.

In fact, a famous study from 1967 (!) showed that words are responsible for only 7% of personal communication, while body language and tone of voice are responsible for 55% and 38% respectively.

In other words: when you give the speech – try to match your body language and tone of voice with the words you’re saying . Otherwise, you’ll sound like a robot… And nobody likes to hear a personal story from Siri .

4. Make each speech/poem short & sweet

You don’t want to ramble on endlessly for each person you invite to light a candle. Otherwise, 12-13 candles will quickly turn into a 12-13-hour snooze fest.

Remember: A candle-lighting speech/poem is not the same as a Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech , so don’t treat them the same way .

Try to keep each speech/poem short & snappy: 5-10 sentences per person is more than enough . If you stretch it more than that – you’ll start noticing people grabbing their phones and scrolling on their Instagram feed looking for something more interesting.

Like the Brits say: “Get on with it!”

5. Use rhymes like Busta Rhymes

If you’re writing a poem – rhymes are what you’ll show em’.

To find cool rhymes­ – Rhymezone is your friend. Because a memorable poem is all that matters in the end.

Rhyme with the candle number to be extra clever. So your guests will remember it forever.

“For candle number eleven, I’d like to invite Kevin…even though he’s probably upset he didn’t light candle number seven”

6. Practice, Practice, Practice

Practice makes perfect.

Practice your candle lighting speech & poems several times.

Practice until you memorize it: if not the whole speech, then at least the order of the candles.

Practice, practice, practice!

Your mirror is your friend. Your iPhone camera is an even better friend (finally there’s a good reason to take selfie videos). Your parents are your best friends.

Practice in front of your parents and friends so you don’t get too excited in the moment of truth.

If all goes well, your Bar Mitzvah candle lighting ceremony will look something like this:

Unique Bar/Bat Mitzvah Candle Lighting Ceremony Ideas

Is a candle just a candle? 

I mean, sure, you can choose a decent, standard display, stick a few candles in it and call it a day.

But if you’ve got an entire Bar/Bat Mitzvah theme going on – you’re probably looking for a candle lighting display that’s a little less “vanilla”, and a little more creative.

Let’s explore a bunch of unique Bar/Bat Mitzvah candle lighting ideas you can choose from:

Note: I’ll continue updating this list. So if you’ve got a cool Bar/Bat Mitzvah candle lighting you’d like to share (with pictures) – leave a comment below and we’ll make it happen!

Note 2:  Special thanks to Balloon Artistry for sharing their images!

Apps & Video Games

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Candle Lighting Alternatives

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah candle lighting ceremony does come with disadvantages:

• You “pick and choose” : 12-13 candles are not a lot. That means you have to make some tough choices and decide who is “worthy” of a candle, and who isn’t. Poor auntie Rachel… she has to see her nemesis (Auntie Bracha) light a candle, while she remains seated. Kind of cruel, isn’t it?
• It’s long : Humans have shorter attention spans than goldfish . People like to “get on with it”, otherwise they get bored… and when they do – they reach for their smartphones and “tune out” completely (sound familiar?).
• What if you’re not having a full-blown Bar/Bat Mitzvah party? Not everyone wants a flashy Bar/Bat Mitzvah party . Some families choose a modest Bar/Bat Mitzvah luncheon with close friends and family or even take their family on Bar/Bat Mitzvah trip to Israel .

No party ⇒ No candles ⇒ No candle lighting ceremony.

Luckily, there are quite a few alternative ceremonies you can choose from.

Let’s explore a few of them…

1. Tree of Life Ceremony

The Tree of Life is one of the most iconic symbols in the Jewish tradition (and a common symbol in Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremonies ).

It represents maturity, responsibility, and new beginnings. Sounds like a natural fit for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, right?

But with the Tree of Life ceremony – you’re taking it one step further: you’re actually planting trees!

Let me explain…

One of the most popular Mitzvah projects is to plant trees in Israel. But rather than plant a single tree, you can invite other people to join in on your Mitzvah project and plant trees together!

And after each tree is planted, you’ll receive a special certificate as a thank you for your donation – which you’ll then pass on to your guests who contributed to the Tree of Life ceremony!

The process goes like this:

• Include instructions on your Bar Mitzvah invitation telling people how they can contribute to your project. It’s best to set up a crowdfunding campaign and invite people to donate money there.
• After you raise money – contact the organization you’re planting the trees with and ask them to send you certificates you can give out to the contributors. Make sure you customize each certificate for each person who donated.
• Call each donor up on stage to receive their certificate.

Voila! Everybody wins! You, your guests, and of course the trees!

Sure, it does require a bit more work to set up… but it’s totally worth it.

Note: An easier alternative is to invite people to plant seeds inside plant pots. It’s not quite the same magnitude as planting trees in Israel, but it’s still a sweet gesture.

2. Cup of Life Ceremony

This is a similar concept to the candle lighting ceremony – just with Kiddush cups:

• Fill 12 cups (or 13 for Bar Mitzvah) with wine (or grape juice)
• Invite your guests to pour a cup of wine in a larger Kiddush cup
• In the end – the Bar/Bat Mitzvah recites the Kiddush blessing and drinks from the blessed wine goblet

Tip: This is a great alternative to a candle lighting ceremony if you’re hosting a Bar/Bat Mitzvah luncheon after the Bar Mitzvah service, without the massive Bar/Bat Mitzvah party afterward.

Think of it as crowdsourcing Kiddush: your guests bless you , and you, in turn, bless their blessings.

Did You Know?  Some people choose to replace wine with (sometimes odd) alternatives such as candy, chocolates or even sand (just make sure you don’t drink the sand afterward).

3. Light up the Room

Hold up, don’t call the fire department. It’s not what you think…

Instead of inviting a select group of guests to light a candle – why not invite everyone to light a candle?

How’s that possible, you ask?

Here’s the process:

• Place a candle on each table
• When the time comes, invite one table “representative” to light their candle one after another
• Finally, you light up the last candle located on your family’s table

Tip:  You can draw more Bar/Bat Mitzvah table decoration inspiration here.

The result? One bright & shiny room filled up with candles!

Now there’s a picture your Bar/Bat Mitzvah photographer shouldn’t miss.

4. Light 3 Candles

I know what you’re thinking: 13 candles aren’t enough to squeeze people in, so 3 candles?!

Don’t worry, you’re not inviting anyone to light these candles – so there’s no picking and choosing going on. Instead, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is lighting the 3 candles, possibly with the parents and siblings:

• A first candle for the past
• A second candle for the present
• A third candle for the future

That way no one gets offended.

5. 12 or 13 “Mini” Mitzvah Projects

Feeling extra  gracious? You can perform 12 (or 13 for Bar Mitzvah) tiny Mitzvah project gestures – one for each honorary guest.

• To honor your grandmother living in Israel – you can plant a tree in Israel.
• To honor your auntie Bracha in Australia – you can donate a set of personalized Siddurim or Tehilim books to her local synagogue.
• To honor your mother – you can join her in lighting Shabbat candles every week.

You get the idea…

I hope this article shed some light (pun intended) into what an exciting & unforgettable Bar/Bat Mitzvah candle lighting ceremony looks like.

Now, I’d like to invite you to join the party!

If you’re planning (or attending) a Bar/Bat Mitzvah party sometime soon – take some cool pictures or videos with your phone, upload them here , leave a comment below and maybe we’ll include it in the website!

Mazel tov! And go light them’ candles 🙂

You May Also Like

25+ Unique Bar/Bat Mitzvah Decorations & Centerpieces Ideas (2022)

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Etiquette: What to Wear, Give & Do (+ What NOT to Do)

15 Beautiful & Affordable Bat Mitzvah Dresses for 12-13 Year Old Tweens (2022)

2 thoughts on “ planning a beautiful bar/bat mitzvah candle lighting ceremony [order & ideas] ”.

Hi! I liked the idea of lighting a candle for the past, present, and future. Do you think it is appropriate to put living grandparents and older relatives in the past? My son is fortunate to not have many deceased relatives. Thank you!

The idea is good, but I would be careful with the phrasing… Telling someone they’re “part of the past” can be easily be misunderstood and backfire.

I would rephrase it so that no grandparent gets offended. Something like “the previous generation”, “our generation”, and “the future generation”… you get the idea 🙂

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Holly Blum 

The word whisperer  917.538.9300.

• Nov 7, 2021

Three Steps to Writing a Great Parent Speech for Your Child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah

Mazel tov! Your child is about to become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, a significant milestone in every Jewish family. Your son or daughter has worked hard to lead the service and you’ve worked hard to make the celebration perfect. And now that the occasion is coming closer, you’re probably starting to think about the speech you’re going to need to write to sing your child’s praises and make a positive impression on all your friends and families. But where should you begin?

Whether you’re speaking during the service or the party, there are a few ground rules to keep in mind when you’re developing your speech.

1. Back up your adjectives with anecdotes. It’s natural for parents to want to describe their child with flattering adjectives. After all, this is your moment to share with your guests what makes your child so special. But beware getting trapped in what I like to call the “laundry list of adjectives.” Listing out your child’s best character traits without the specific examples to back it up can sound generic. Instead, think of 2-3 stories that make your chosen character traits come alive. Your guests (and your child) are much more likely to remember a funny or heartwarming story than 15 different ways of saying “compassionate.” If you have trouble remembering anecdotes, look back at old photos and videos to jog your memory, or ask other friends and family members for ideas.

2. Be yourself. Parents can often feel pressure to be overly funny or sentimental in their speeches. There’s often a misconception that guests need to be either laughing or crying for the speech to hit its mark. In reality, the best choice is to be as authentic as possible. If you’re not particularly humorous, resist the urge to fill the speech with jokes and other one-liners. Likewise, if you’re not especially sentimental, it’s perfectly acceptable to share your love and pride without going over the top. Your child knows you better than you think and may easily pick up on any insincerity.

3. Stay positive. Interestingly, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs come at a time when kids are starting to exert more independence and parents are grappling with the attitude that sometimes accompanies the teenage years. Even if your relationship with your child is a little bumpier than it used to be, keep your remarks positive. This is not a time to vent about your child’s behavior or share stories that could be deemed embarrassing. Remember that it’s your job to cast your child in a flattering light and celebrate what they contribute to the world.

Above all, make sure to put in the time and effort that a great speech requires. Give yourself time to edit, fine tune and rehearse. This is one of those life moments when your child will really be listening to what you are saying. Seize this opportunity to honor your child and make them feel remarkable. They deserve it!

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Bar and Bat Mitzvah Parent Speeches

Sample bar and bat mitzvah parent speeches.

Most temples offer the parents of the Bat Mitzvah girl or Bar Mitzvah boy an opportunity to share some words of wisdom.  Even if you are the best contemporaneous speaker on earth, we always recommend jotting down your thoughts. We have attended hundreds of B'nai Mitzvot and have never, ever seen a parent speak who was not feeling intensely emotional at the moment.  If you take no other advice from PartyIdeaPros.com, please give yourself plenty of time to mull over what you would like to say to your child and write it down!

After many requests for sample speeches we are beginning to compile the best of the best.  If you would like to help out other parents searching for inspiration, please submit your speech to [email protected] for consideration.  We will publish the best of the best!

Bar & Bat Mitzvah Parent Speeches >> Sample 1

Your child's name –

When we began this journey, we viewed today as an individual rite of passage — a celebration of your birthday, the legal age in which you assume a role of responsibility in the Jewish community, and a celebration of your hard work and your efforts, and especially all of your enormous accomplishments. But with time, it became clear that this celebration is really much larger than just that – for mom and me, it is about trust in G-d.

At first we wondered, why this Torah portion. The answer … maybe it’s meant to be. Mom would say, “it’s b’shert.” As you well know, and will discuss later this morning, this week’s Torah portion is from Leviticus, the rulebook of the Torah. And although Leviticus lacks the great stories of Genesis and Exodus, those who know you well and understand you, would probably agree that this is your book. It provides structure and purpose to life’s vagaries. It elevates events of daily life to a higher moral ground.

You do best when life is unambiguous – You like clarity and lucidity. The clearer the rules the better. You welcome and find merit in ritual and easily appreciate the Torah’s bigger lessons. We proudly watched as you grew to understand just how valuable the weekly parsha, even this seemingly archaic portion, could be in your daily life. We hope that you will continue your studies and will continue to turn to the Torah throughout your life, for the sheer joy of study, for answers and for questions and mostly, for hope.

Today, in this temple, a house of worship and ritual, you join them. It is your turn to be encircled by family, friends and community – some of whom have never even met you, and yet were willing to make the effort to be here with us. We are all here to witness and celebrate with you, as you represent our trust in G-d, our hopes, our dreams. You are the promise. We watch you embracing the torah, the cornerstone of our faith, with joy and comfort, knowing that you will strive to live by the values it teaches.

The Torah is the authority that guides our choices in life. You will have many choices in your life. We have come to trust your judgment and your choices. But throughout your life you will be thrown curveballs, unexpected events happen. Remember that Leviticus and its rules is just 1/5th of the Torah, much of the Torah is about life unfolding and learning how our ancestors dealt with the life’s challenges, sometimes successfully and sometimes not. We want you to know that Mom and I will always be here for you as your life unfolds.

We also want you to know that family and friends are here for you too.  Your child's name , may you endeavor to be a good person. Remember that all G-d really requires from you is your just actions. It really is pretty black and white – it’s about mitzvot, it’s about your deeds.

It is about respect for and pride in your heritage, and living an ethical, balanced life with honor, integrity, and laughter.

May you learn from those that came before you and from the example of those around you today. May you wear our dreams as comfortably as you wear your tallit and carry on our hopes, and may you, too, always trust to G-d.

B'nai Mitzvot  Parent Speeches >> Sample 2

Your child's name , in your Torah portion, Moses says, “Dedicate yourselves to the Lord this day … that he may bestow a blessing upon you today.” And here we stand. You, like your Mom and I before you, and your grandparents before us and their parents before them, dedicating yourself to G-d. Looking out we can see just how blessed you are, surrounded by friends and family who love you and are here to support you. Know Mom and I will also always be here whenever you need us and even sometimes when you don’t think you need us. But today, we are all here to witness your commitment to G-d and the Jewish people and to celebrate with you. We watch you, embracing the Torah, the cornerstone of our faith, with joy and comfort, knowing that you will strive to live by the values it teaches.

From the day you were born, we intuitively knew you were especially blessed by G-d. And we were right. You have so many talents `… you are bright, you are creative, you are funny, you are athletic and you are a natural leader. We hope you recognize, celebrate and cherish these blessings as gifts from G-d to be used wisely and responsibly. Look to the Torah as inspiration and guidance as you face the daily joys and challenges of your life.

We know you love a good story and are drawn to the larger than life epics which unfold in the books of Genesis and Exodus. Embrace not only the stories, but also their lessons. Emulate the mighty intellect and conviction of Moses. Nurture the compassion and leadership skills of Aaron. And in these times of doubt and turmoil, adopt your ancestors trust in G-d. As your life unfolds, we hope you will more and more learn to value the other books in the Bible, too … yes, even the books dealing with the laws and rules. The Torah is the authority that guides our choices in life. The Torah teaches both balance and structure.

We hope you turn to G-d and the Torah to find that balance and to create structure in your own life, for you will need both to fulfill the promise in you, to find the holiness within and to appreciate, cultivate and celebrate the very special blessings G-d has bestowed upon you.

Not only do you have the writings and teachings of the Torah to turn to for guidance, you are encircled by family and friends who, too, have dedicated themselves to G-d: striving to live ethical, balanced lives with honor, integrity and laughter. You are surrounded by loved ones who are what Nanna and Bubbe, might call mentsches. You are blessed to have such wonderful role models.

And  your child's name , no boy called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah, could have better role models than your grandfathers. Both are professionally accomplished and successful. Both Grandpa and Popol are cherished by those whose lives they have touched. They are respected for their warmth, their dignity, their intellect, their virtue, and yes, their humor. And equally important, both are committed to the teachings of the Torah. They have devoted hours and hours to ‘Tikum Olam,” or repairing the world, and to doing “Mitzvoth” or good deeds. They know that if you endeavor to be a good person, life is much more simple. They understand that all G-d really requires from you is your just actions. So  your child's name , remember, it’s about mitzvoth, it’s about your deeds; it’s about the choices you make. You are so very blessed to have wise and loving grandparents. Emulate them!

As you know, Granny and Grandpa wanted to be here with you to witness you being called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah. They wanted nothing more than to be able to pass the Torah to still another generation and have expressed to you their pride in your accomplishments and joy in your acceptance of the responsibility of Jewish manhood. Tonight they will rejoice with us. Grandpa even sent you an email saying, “We plan to have a special bottle of champagne to celebrate on the east coast.” Once again, Grandpa gently guides us all, with grace and fortitude. He knows the Torah teaches us to serve G-d with joy. Performance of mitzvoth is to be celebrated!

Your child's name , we are so very blessed to have you as our son. May you learn from those that came before you and from the example of those around you today. May you wear our dreams as comfortably as you wear your tallit and carry on our hopes.

May you constantly re-dedicate yourself to G-d and may G-d continue to bestow blessings upon you. We wish for you, our family, friends, our country and Israel, the words inscribed upon your tallit: “Sim Shalom Tovah Uvracha …” “May G-d give peace, goodness, and blessing…”

We love you, yes we do..!

Parent Speech Sample  3

Our Dearest  your child's name,

Poppy from Chicago had a dream that his family would make a pilgrimage to Israel, together. At every Seder, every birthday, ok, all holidays, he would passionately, declare, “Next year in Jerusalem.”

Dreaming of a pilgrimage to Israel means different things to different people. Some of us are primarily interested in the vast array of historically significant sites, and for others the awe-inspiring beauty of the countryside is enough, but for many Jews, a pilgrimage to Israel is also a spiritual journey, for some, a search for spiritual peace. Rabbi Aaron Moss explains: “Jerusalem means ‘the city of peace’ – a place of peace between body and soul, heaven and earth, ideal and reality. When our body becomes not a prison for the soul but rather a vehicle for the soul's expression; when we live our lives according to our ideals rather than our cravings; when the world values goodness and generosity over selfish gain, then we are in Jerusalem, we are at peace with ourselves and the world.” This is the dream. You,  your child's name , personify this dream.

You are blessed with the gift of serenity: your family and friends appreciate your diplomacy and quiet calm, and horses respond to your touch. This is why,  your child's name , our little Yitzchaka, she who laughs (and yes, you laugh often and easily), Poppy’s namesake, it is even more fitting that it is you, a young lady of integrity, poise, generosity and serenity who has made his dream, “Next Year in Jerusalem” a reality.

As we stand here, your relatives and congregational family, on this special day, celebrating your becoming a Bat Mitzvah, in the land of our ancestors, it is important to remember those who came before us, who we cherish and who we respect. Your grandparents and their parents and their parents before them embraced a strong, enduring belief and trust in G-d. They accepted the responsibilities of the special covenant between G-d and the Jewish people, living their lives with honor and integrity. They performed mitzvoth and tikkun olam. They had dreams. They had hopes. They created traditions. They guided us, schooled us and modeled Jewish values, and as commanded, passed them on from generation to generation.

Now  your child's name it is your turn. We watched you embracing the Torah, the cornerstone of our faith, with joy and comfort, knowing that you will strive to live by the values it teaches. We are all here to witness and celebrate with you, as you represent our trust in G-d, our hopes, our dreams. You are the promise.

As you were preparing for your D’var Torah, Rabbi _______  posed to you a few questions to ponder. Some of the questions were easy, factual questions, but some required more thought. He asked you to think abstractly and philosophically about topics that probably have never even crossed your mind. We hope you continue to ponder, to think about matters of consequence, of meaning beyond the everyday minutia. Torah will help guide you in thinking about these issues. It will make your life richer and give you moral direction.

Your child's name , think about Torah as the authority that guides our choices in life. We hope you turn to it as you face your own choices. We have come to trust your judgment and your decisions. Nevertheless, throughout your life unexpected things will happen. Some days you will ride beautifully, other days you will be thrown off your horse, and at least once in your life, your horse will just plain refuse to move – just like in your parasha. Much of the Torah is about life unfolding and learning how our ancestors dealt with life’s challenges, sometimes successfully and sometimes not. your child's name, please know that Mom and I will always be here for you as your life unfolds. And, that family, friends, and clergy are here for you too.

Your child's name , remember the lesson of your Haftorah: that all G-d really requires from you is to do justice, love goodness, and walk humbly with your G-d.

May you absorb the years of history, knowledge, and wisdom this amazing land has to offer, learn from those that came before you and from the example of those around you today. May you wear our dreams as comfortably as you wear your tallit and carry on our hopes, and may every year be in Jerusalem!

We love you, yes we do, do, do, do doooooooooooooo!

B'nai Mitzvot  Parent Speeches >> Sample 4

From the day you were born into this world you wanted the whole world to know you were on this earth. We instinctively knew at that moment you held a promise. Your hand came out waving first, as if to say, “Here I am.!” You screamed the loudest scream we had ever heard and immediately grabbed and held your bottle to your lips. Granted you were born almost three weeks late, but we knew right then you held a promise and you wanted the whole world to see and hear you. Since that day, as you have grown from a toddler to a child, to a young lady of Bat Mitzvah age, you have each step of the way shown us you continue to hold a promise.

Always questioning, always either the best day of your whole life or even a paper cut could make it the worst day of your whole life, ever dramatic in life’s challenges and opportunities, but always sweet, poised and full of love. From the day you were born until this very day, you were blessed with the gifts of your grandmothers and their mothers before them, the gifts of warmth, poise, generosity, sweetness and dignity. Like your great grandfather, one of your namesakes, your eyes have always sparkled with the joy of life, full of love. This sparkle holds a promise in you.

So then, what is the promise you hold? The promise is the very values and traditions of all those who came before us, who we cherish and respect. The values and traditions of your grandparents and their parents and their parents before them, which we hope will guide you in your life – values of family, of community, of living your life with purpose and dignity, performing mitzvot and acts of tikkun olam.

And importantly, your ancestors not only accepted the responsibility of our peoples’ special covenant with G-d, they also modeled Jewish values, and as commanded, passed them on dor l’dor, from generation to generation, with the hope and dream that one day their children and children’s children would fulfill the promise of living their lives with honor and integrity and with those Jewish values which call upon us to reach out to those in need, and which commands us to play a part in making this a better world. 13 years later, we can say that you are well on your path to embracing and fulfilling your promise by living these values. And always our little drama queen, we have no doubt that you will allow the whole world to see your promise!

You and I have been coming here to this shul nearly every Shabbat morning for the past 13 years. Your mother and I celebrated our aufruf here, you and your sisters were given your Hebrew names here before the Torah, and now today, at this very same Shulhan where we celebrated these moments of our greatest joy, you were called to the Torah as an adult Jew. Today you have accepted responsibility for your actions as an adult Jew.

What does that mean? Today, you stand on your own before God, responsible for the mitzvot given us; it is up to you to always find your place among your people; you must now keep alive that two thousand year old connection to the Land of Israel; and now you too must hear the Torah’s call for Tikkun Olam, for you are now personally responsible to be an active part of healing this world.

Is it all about responsibility? We bring you to shul every Shabbat and holiday, send you to Jewish Day School and keep the traditions and rituals of our faith in our home so that you will have knowledge – an understanding of your people and your heritage. It is our hope that from this understanding will come respect for, and pride in, your heritage and a joy in embracing the richness of our traditions. As we watched you today embracing the Torah, the cornerstone of our faith, with joy and comfort, and a sense of personal connection, we are confident that you will fulfill the promise passed down to you: to strive to live by the values our Torah teaches us – to live a virtuous life with honor, integrity and just deeds every step of the way.

Our promise to you today is to be there for you always, in joyful times and to wipe away your tears, to support you, teach you (even when you don’t want to heed our lessons), guide you through life’s challenges and prospects. Our prayer for you today is for a long life filled with peace, health, happiness and purpose, surrounded by family, friends and community. It is our hope and dream that you will turn the best days and the worst days of your life into a medley of meaning and joy. Cherish life and make each day full of purpose by enriching the lives of others with a smile, a kind word or a good deed. This will fulfill the promise. And, yes, …let the whole world see and hear you do just that!

We love you around the world and back, forever and always!

Parent Speeches Sample 5

Your child's name , from the day you were born, you have always been a blessing for the two of us, and for all your family. As a baby, you were warm and cuddly. And to this day, when you smile, we can see sunshine on a cloudy day, and when you laugh, you can take our minds off any unhappy thought. If one of your sisters has something else going on, and the other wants a playmate, you are always there. And, of course, if the phone rings any time from 3:00 to 11:00 p.m., we know it’s for you, as you are a source of happiness for all your friends.

But every person has many sides to them.

On the other hand, you have always been a determined person. (That’s a polite way of saying stubborn.) We were trying to remember your first word. Mom thought it was “Mama”, but I am pretty sure it was “NO!” If you didn’t want to do something, there was no changing your mind. While there are days that have been a little challenging as a parent, and we aren’t necessarily speaking in the past tense here, it is also something we admire about you. We admire it because it is most evident when it comes to your sense of justice and fairness. Even as an infant you would sometimes wail for hours, almost as if you were crying on behalf of all the injustices surrounding you in the world. While thankfully, you no longer wail, you still let us and everyone around you know that justice must prevail!

As we read your Torah portion, the first parashah in Vayikra, the Book of Leviticus, and the volume which is the source of so much of Jewish law, we were struck by how appropriate it was that your first act as an adult Jew should be to read aloud some of the detailed laws given to our people at Sinai 4,000 years ago. We have never seen you break a rule, and in your thirteen years, we have never seen you treat someone unfairly.

These are wonderful traits, and your sense of justice has been with you since you were a baby. You your child's name , are our righteous child. Even from an early age you instinctively knew what was right and what was wrong. Kindness, fairness and honesty have always been important to you. We know that even when it’s not popular, your compass always points north. You would rather part with friends than join them in mistreating someone.

We live in a world today in which decency, fairness, justice and order are all too often in short supply. These are lessons which the Torah, and specifically your parashah, teach us. We pray that they will forever guide you, and that you will always be known for them.

Hazakah u’beracha m’ija.

Your child's name , as you know we gave you something to share in common with us. Like each of us, you are the middle child. You know full well the challenges associated with being in the middle, but you also know the blessings – of always being surrounded by love and friendship from the two people who share the most in common with you, your sisters. And no one knows how to appreciate her sister’s love and attention more than you – the knowing love when you let  sibling 1 spend the night in your room after she watched a scary movie, or the excitement you show when sibling 2 wants to just hang and talk.

You also have a sense of balance in life that is wonderful and intriguing in its contrasts. You are incredibly cautious, but you ride and jump horses. You take your school work very seriously, but you spend hours every night chatting with friends. You have the lowest tolerance for touring an art museum, but you love doing art projects. For the last year, you have made clear that you were not happy being the designated Kiddush reader at our Shabbat table, but today you read the longest Haftorah of the year.

When we held your brit ha-bat nearly 13 years ago, we gave you two Hebrew names, name1 name 2 , the names of two of your great-grandparents of blessed memory who, along with all of your other great-grandparents and grandparents were role models for all of us who followed them.  Name1 came from Nona , your father’s maternal grandmother. She was a woman of courage and strength, whose dedication to her family helped bring them through some of the worst years our people have ever experienced. She had many talents and friends, but we all remember her most for her absolute dedication to her family.

Name2 came from Poppy , my paternal grandfather. A man of great strength who always had a smile and a warm embrace, who was respected for his generosity, good deeds, keen humor, and integrity. Poppy  lived his life zestfully, surrounded by family and good friends.   Poppy and Nona always knew how to do the right thing. Importantly, both were committed to the teachings of the Torah and doing mitzvoth, good deeds. May you draw strength from those that came before you and from the example of those who surround you today. Like each of your great-grandparents, and that day 13 years ago, this was our prayer for you – to live a life of righteousness.

Today, child's name , we can tell you that we know our prayer has been fulfilled, and always will be. In this most important way, you showed that you were ready to be an adult long before this day. We love you forever and always! And we are always proud of you. Mazel tov!

B'nai Mitzvot  Parent Speeches >> Sample 6

Child's name, from the day you were born you were termed our “easy” one.   Even as a baby, you didn’t cry much or seem to need much. It was almost as if you instinctively knew there was so much going on around you that you would try and make life a bit easier for those who loved and cared for you. As you have grown from a toddler to a child, to a young lady of Bat Mitzvah age, you have each step of the way shown us you continue to be the “easy” one. Rarely do you display a temper, a dramatic flair, or a competitive nature. Rather, you are always present with a ready smile, a kind thought, a calming demeanor, and a cute (child's name)’ism, our endearing term coined to refer to your always quick, sometimes serious, and always hilarious, even when unintended, remarks.

But don’t misunderstand, behind that quiet, relaxed manner, we have all witnessed the spirited (child's name), the mischievous sparkle in your eyes, whether you and (friend) are cutting each other’s bangs, coloring on our walls and your sisters dolls, being rescued from near drowning on the high seas, wandering off at a water park, bouncing around the house, or even just relaxing watching television, your playful, feisty personality sparkles with the joy of life, full of love.

Since you were born 13 years ago today, you have been both blessed and a blessing. You have been surrounded by people who love you and in turn you have been a source of love and amusement for all those who know you. These include four grandparents who have always been the recipients of your affection, even during your no kissing stage, your two best friends for whom your arrival heralded the completion of a close sisterhood that will last your life times.

For aunts, uncles and cousins, you have always been the youngest, but in so many wonderful ways you have always ensured you have not been overlooked, you found a wonderful group of friends when you began preschool who are with you here today but you have always remained open to newcomers and so your circle of good friends seems to always be growing , and for the two of us, you have been our never ending source of love, you have given us such pride and joy, and you still remain a source of endless cuddling.

You have taught us so many things, not the least of which is how to relax, put your feet up, enjoy life and how to appreciate the humor of the George Lopez TV show. While we joke about your stress- free, relaxed approach to life, there is something very refreshing, even valuable in your approach.

As we mark this special occasion, we are grateful that the wishes we expressed at your brit ha-bat, that you be imbued with the values and traits of your namesakes, your great grandmothers name and name : dedication to your sisters and family, graciousness and kind words for everyone around you, are the ways in which we think of you. And like your grandmothers and great grandmothers, yours is a gentle strength, quiet and relaxed, but always ready to act to help others when needed. May you always be known among our people for these hallmarks.

An amusing (child's name)’ism from when you were only five or six that speaks about your nature was when (sibling 2) was already discussing college, and in a moment of silence you said you weren’t sure yet what you wanted to do, but you wanted to know what would be a good school to attend if you wanted to be a veterinarian and what would be a good school if you chose to be a clown. At the time, we all had a great laugh. But we knew then what you had already decided to make priorities in your life – caring for others, including animals, and making others smile.

You are the one who on a Sunday morning will curl up with dog's name and play for as long as she has patience, and you took up horse riding inspired by (sibling 1) and wanting to find another way to share this passion with her. You have enjoyed developing your horse riding skills, but it is not the competition which keeps you engaged, it is the bonding with (sibling 1) and the horses.

And you are (sibling 2's) biggest fan, expressing excitement watching every single show she performs in. You are easy going and the peacemaker among your sisters, always willing to give up your preferences to keep the three of you together. And to this day, when I come home at night, you always greet me with a genuine, “how was your day Daddy?” You have the special gift of being attuned to the needs of others, being considerate of others and compassionate towards all.

In our tradition, we are taught to seek a shem tov, a good name. This is not a name given to you, but one which you earn from others. Regardless of what you encounter in life, these traits already so well exhibited by you are your path to acquiring a shem tov. We don’t know if you will become a veterinarian or a clown, or maybe even a Nielsen TV rater, but we hope for you that you find a passion that will excite you to last a career, and you continue to bounce to the beat of your own drum, and that whatever you do, we pray that you will always be described as someone who heals and someone who makes those around her smile.

And we pray that the love of family, of the people you come to know, of all living creatures, and of your people, our traditions, and the land of Israel remain the values which guide your life.

Mazel tov on taking your place as an adult woman in the community of the people Israel! As we close our remarks to you, I would like to make reference to the first recorded (child's name)’ism, and that is to tell you that “I have some pretty good news for you…”

We love you, forever and always!

  Planning a  Mitzvah?

• Bar Mitzvah Invitations
• Bat Mitzvah – Ceremony & Celebration– Themes and Mitzvah Basics

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What to write in a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah card.

So you’ve got a bar mitzvah card or bat mitzvah card you need to sign? Mazel tov! Not only are these occasions inspiring to see and fun to take part in—they’re also a very big deal in the life of a person of the Jewish faith. When you write a personal message in your card to the bar or bat mitzvah, you’re adding to the joy and significance of their big day.

If you’re stumped on what to write in a bar/bat mitzvah card, this article has writing tips and ideas to get you going.

Inspired? Create and share by tagging @HallmarkStores .

But first, here’s a super-quick primer on the celebrations that might help, too:

Bar/bat mitzvah literally translates as “son/daughter of the commandments.” This rite marks their entry as adults into their faith community. These students of the faith put in a lot of hard work preparing for a special Shabbat service at their synagogue, in which they read aloud from the Torah and sometimes lead prayers or chants, too. Traditionally, bar mitzvahs are 13 years old and bat mitzvahs are either 12 or 13. It’s becoming more common for adults to become bar/bat mitzvahs, too, but no matter what the age of your recipient, they will appreciate your recognition and the time and thought you put into giving them a card.

From words of pride to blessings to congratulations, there are all kinds of messages that work well in bar/bat mitzvah cards. And it’s fine to write a little or a lot, depending on how well you know the bar/bat mitzvah themselves. The message ideas below are divided by theme, but you can mix and match to come up with the words that feel just right for you to send.

• Mazel Tov Congratulations
• Pride and Compliments
• Faith and Tradition
• Funny Messages
• Warm Closings

Mazel Tov Congratulations  

Literally translated, the Yiddish phrase “mazel tov” means something closer to “good luck,” but it’s more commonly used to congratulate someone. A short mazel tov message by itself works well for a recipient you don’t know as well, but you could also use it to round out a longer message.

• “Mazel tov, Bar Mitzvah!”
• “Best wishes and mazel tov to you as you celebrate your bat mitzvah!”
• “Congratulations and mazel tov, Bar Mitzvah! (I’m so proud of you, I had to say both.)”
• “This day is so meaningful, and you’ve worked so hard for it. Mazel tov.”
• “Congratulations on what you’ve achieved and on stepping into your faith community as an adult today.”
• “Congratulations! Your bat mitzvah marks a huge accomplishment—but it’s only the beginning of all a young woman like you is going to achieve.”
• “Mazel tov! What a happy and unforgettable day this is for you and for all of us who’ve had the joy of watching you grow to be a man.”

Helpful tip: Even for those of us who don’t come from a Jewish faith tradition, “mazel tov” is one in-culture phrase that’s easy to say or write without feeling awkward or like we’re trying too hard. But go with your gut—if “congratulations” feels more you, then go with that.

Wishes  

A heartfelt wish is another great thing to write in a bar/bat mitzah card. You could make it a wish for the big day itself or go bigger and make a hopeful wish for the bar/bat mitzvah’s future.

• “Wishing you so much happiness as you celebrate your bat mitzvah!”
• “May the wisdom you’ve learned studying for your bar mitzvah guide you all your days.”
• “We wish you an unforgettable bar mitzvah celebration and all the best in the exciting years ahead of you.”
• “Love, blessings and best wishes to you, Bat Mitzvah!”
• “Hoping your bar mitzvah day is a proud and happy one for you!”
• “Mazel tov, Bat Mitzvah. May you continue to grow in wisdom and faith from this day on.”
• “Wishing you a great time celebrating your bar mitzvah…I hope it’s a day you’ll always look back on with pride and happiness.”

Helpful tip: First timer? If so, you could make an added connection by mentioning that in what you write: “Your bar mitzvah is the first one I’ve been lucky enough to be invited to. It’s such an honor to be a part of it. Thanks for including me in your big day!”

Pride and Compliments  

One does not become a bar/bat mitzvah simply by showing up on the big day. There is diligent study and preparation involved, and that’s worthy of a callout. You might choose to highlight all the hard work and schvitzing (sweating) with a message of pride or with a compliment for the bar/bat mitzvah.

• “So proud of the dedicated way you’ve prepared for this day. Great job—and mazel tov!”
• “We were always proud of the girl you were, and we’re even prouder of the woman you become today.”
• “No one could have worked harder or done more to deserve this day. Way to show what you’re made of!”
• “I hope you feel proud of yourself as you wear the tallit and read from the Torah. And I hope you feel how proud you’ve made everyone around you, too.”
• “A bar mitzvah is more than a party. It’s an important step in your faith and a big accomplishment, too. So mazel tov and hats off to you!”
• “It’s so much fun to congratulate a bat mitzvah as smart and talented as you! Celebrating you today and looking forward to watching your life unfold in amazing ways.”
• “If ever a bar mitzvah deserved a great party, it’s you! Enjoy it! You’ve earned it!”
• “It’s no easy thing to stand up and be the center of attention on your bat mitzvah day, but we know how hard you’ve worked, and we know you’re going to do yourself and your family proud.”

Helpful tip: If it’s helpful, you could think of a bar/bat mitzvah as a little like a graduation. Of course, a bar/bat mitzvah has a spiritual significance that graduations don’t have. However, the sense of a worthy goal achieved, of pride in hard work and of a young person moving on to a new stage in their life—all these things hold true for both occasions.

Faith and Tradition  

Celebrating the faith and deep-rooted traditional aspects of a bar/bat mitzvah is another great way to go with your message. And luckily, you don’t have to have a rabbi’s understanding of the occasion to write something that’s both honoring and meaningful.

• “Here’s to you, Bat Mitzvah—shining bright today and carrying the light of faith into tomorrow.”
• “What a joy it is to welcome a young man like you to our community of faith. Mazel tov.”
• “Warmest congratulations on your bar mitzvah. It’s inspiring to think of you taking your place in your faith community and carrying on such an enduring tradition.”
• “Mazel tov, Bat Mitzvah. God bless you and guide you today and always.”
• “Today you follow in the footsteps of so many generations who came before you…and step into a future made brighter by your love for your faith, your family and your community.”
• “Blessings on you as you celebrate your bat mitzvah.”
• “Hoping you learned lessons that will always stay with you as you studied and prepared for your bar mitzvah. May the Torah’s teachings continue to guide you and bring you happiness throughout your life.”
• “Congratulations on your bat mitzvah! What a wonderful way to honor your rich heritage and celebrate your faith.”

Helpful tip: As part of the occasion, a bar/bat mitzvah will sometimes declare a cause that they plan to advocate for. It’s one way of embracing their new adult status and doing some real good with it. It’s a very cool thing—and it may inspire some new thoughts for you as you think about what you want to write.

Funny Messages  

Even though a bar/bat mitzvah is a serious occasion, there’s still room for a little good-natured humor—especially if you know the bar/bat mitzvah well and have a good sense of what they’d find funny. Money is a customary gift for a bar/bat mitzvah, so it’s an especially easy way to infuse a little humor into your written message.

• “Today you begin your journey into womanhood…but somehow you still have a 10 p.m. curfew. Oh well. One step at a time, right?”
• “Happy bar mitzvah! Have the most fun a guy can have with all your family right there watching your every move.”
• With money/gift card enclosed: “First of all, so proud of you! Second—and more importantly—here’s a little something to show you just how proud.”
• With money/gift card enclosed: “Hope the happy bat mitzvah glow just lasts and lasts. (This little gift is meant to help with that!)”
• With money/gift card enclosed: “For all that extra wisdom you’ve stored away in your heart…here’s a little extra cash for your pocket. Mazel tov!”
• “There’s never, ever been a bar mitzvah quite like you! (That’s supposed to be a compliment, in case you couldn’t tell.)”
• “Okay, so great new dress, cute shoes, awesome party…I’m a little jealous that I didn’t get all this when I was 13. Okay, a LOT jealous. But I’m still so happy for you! Mazel tov!”

Helpful tip: Joking about gifts and celebrating is one thing. Summoning up offensive stereotypes or poking fun at Jewish culture is another—and should absolutely be avoided. When in doubt, skip the funny and keep your message straightforward.

Warm Closings  

A warm closing before your signature provides a nice finishing touch for your bar/bat mitzvah message. Choose one of ours or come up with one of your own.

• Congratulations,
• Warmest congratulations,
• Lots of love,
• Love always,
• Much love to you,
• All my/our love,
• All the best,
• Proud of you,
• With pride and best wishes,
• greeting card messages

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What to Wear to a Bat Mitzvah: Etiquette & 80+ Outfit Ideas

A s the melodies of the Torah fill the air, dressing appropriately becomes a delightful dance between respect and style. Wondering what to wear to a Bat Mitzvah ? Keep reading!

A Bat Mitzvah is more than just a celebration; it’s a significant rite of passage, a blend of tradition, joy, and elegance.

If you find yourself pondering over your wardrobe, wondering if a jumpsuit would be suitable or which dress would strike the perfect chord, you’re not alone.

This guide is crafted to ease your worries and answer all your questions about what to wear to a Bat Mitzvah .

From the timeless classics to contemporary chic, I’ll walk you through options that honor the occasion’s significance while allowing your personal style to shine. Mazel Tov!

What is a Bat Mitzvah?

First of all, what is a Bat Mitzvah ? Bat Mitzvah literally means “daughter of commandment” in Hebrew.

It is one of the most important occasions in the Jewish communities wherein a Jewish girl turns 12 and obtains all the rights and responsibilities of a Jewish adult.

It resembles the Latin and Hispanic tradition of holding a Quinceanera . Read this article for a more in-depth explanation of Bat Mitzva, especially the religious services.

What Colors Not to Wear to a Bat Mitzvah

There’s no certain color you have to follow for a Bat Mitzvah. However, I recommend avoiding loud and flashy colors.

It’s also best to avoid wearing white at Mitzvah parties since it is typically reserved for the guest of honor. Opt for neutral or dark-toned colors for your outfits.

What is the Difference Between Bat Mitzvah and Bar Mitzvah

Bat Mitzvah and Bar Mitzvah are both significant events in Jewish traditional communities. As I’ve mentioned, Bat mitzvahs are for Jewish girls turning 12. On the other hand, Bar Mitzvahs (son of the commandment) are for Jewish males turning 13.

To make it simple, it’s all about celebrating their coming of age in the community. They are now officially obligated to observe the commandments.

What to Wear to a Bat Mitzvah

We’re finally at the exciting part! Did you wait long? Let’s end that wait and check out these chic outfits I’ve prepared for you.

A-Line Dress

First on our list is the A-line dress. This dress’ modesty and elegance are perfect for any formal event, just like a Bat Mitzvah.

SHOP THE LOOK

Add the following elements to complete the look:

• kitten heels or ballet flats
• chic clutch
• cardigan (optional)

See more A-line dresses:

Midi Skirt and a Flowy Blouse

The midi skirt and a flowy blouse combo are also perfect for a sophisticated look for special events like these. This ensemble not only exudes elegance but also ensures the wearer’s comfort.

Match it with the following to sprinkle more elegance into the look:

• drop earrings

Modest Jumpsuit

For a stylish, contemporary look, go for a modest jumpsuit. This is a great alternative if you’re not exactly fond of wearing dresses or skirts.

It does not fall behind the elegance of dresses and exhibits a unique romantic look for you.

Mix it with the following to elevate the look:

• hoop earrings
• ankle wrap heels

A wrap dress is also perfect for a flattering and modest vibe. It is a stylish outfit that definitely aligns with the event’s dress code.

This is a personal fave of mine since I can practically wear a wrap dress at various events, and it slays every time.

To add more oomph to the outfit, match it up with these elements:

• rattan earrings

Tailored Pants and Blouse

Aside from a jumpsuit, the tailored pants and blouse combo are also great alternatives if you want to rock the event in pants.

Choose a flowy blouse for a more romantic and demure look. Throw in some closed-toe heels , and you’re ready to go.

I’ve rounded up a couple more tailored pants and flowy blouses for you:

Little Black Dress (LBD)

What else would embody elegance and sophistication in dark-toned clothes without the classic LBD?

I bet you got a whole suitcase of black dresses there, hun, but let’s keep our skimpy ones away for this event. Let’s go for modest but chic black dresses to celebrate Bat Mitzvah.

Sprinkle more style to the overall look by adding these:

• rhinestone drop earrings
• silver bangles

Cocktail Dress

For a more refined, classy look, opt for a cocktail dress. Its flattering silhouette will surely make you a stunner at the event.

Keep in mind not to overdo it and overshadow the celebrant. It’s always great to get overdressed than underdressed, but we must keep it lowkey in Mitzvah ceremonies.

If you liked the cocktail dress above, there’s more where I got it from:

Bat Mitzvah Outfits for Men

Gentlemen, I prepared outfit ideas for you too. Check these out:

Dress Shirt and Chinos

You can opt for the dress shirt and chinos combo for a strike of balance between formal and comfortable.

You have to look put-together for Jewish traditions like Mitzvah celebrations, so a sleek dress shirt and chinos will be perfect for you.

Blazer and Dress Pants

For a more sophisticated appearance, choose the blazer and dress pants ensemble. It combines formality and comfort, which is highly in line with the ceremony’s dress code.

It looks dapper, right? Check out more:

Last update on 2023-08-08 at 03:01 / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

Suit with Tie or Bowtie

Men can always wear the classic suit and tie combo if the Bat Mitzvah is more formal. It will make you look polished and presentable for the occasion.

Mix it up with the following to add more style to your look:

• dress shoes

Last update on 2023-08-08 at 03:11 / Images from Amazon Product Advertising API

FAQ About What to Wear to a Bat Mitzvah

What do non-jews wear to a bat mitzvah.

Non-Jews typically wear appropriate semi-formal or smart-casual attire, such as knee-length dresses or skirts , modest tops , dress pants , button-down shirts , etc. They should never wear overly revealing clothes to such a sacred event.

How much money do you give for a bat mitzvah?

Monetary gifts can vary depending on your relationship with the Bat Mitzvah girl and your budget range. It commonly ranges from $18 (the number 18 represents luck and life in Judaism) to $100 dollars or more, depending on one’s preferences.

Do you have to dress up for a bat mitzvah?

Yes, definitely. Dressing up appropriately and respectfully is expected in Mitzvah ceremonies. It’s one way of respecting their tradition and showing gratitude to the host for inviting you.

Is alcohol served at bat mitzvahs?

Alcoholic drinks are not served at the actual Bat Mitzvah ceremony, as it is a religious event. However, alcohol may be served at the reception that follows the ceremony.

How many hours is a bat mitzvah?

Typically, the ceremony itself can last around 2 to 3 hours but can vary depending on the specific customs and traditions of the synagogue or Jewish community. The reception party afterward can also extend the length of the event.

Can you take pictures at a bat mitzvah?

Photography is often permitted in temples, mainly during rehearsals rather than the ceremony. Check with organizers about guidelines to respect the event. Enjoy unrestricted photography at the relaxed reception party to capture joyful moments.

A Recap on What to Wear to a Bat Mitzvah

Jewish traditions are rich and diverse, and Bat Mitzvahs are one of them. For a quick recap, if you’re invited to such an occasion, here are the things you have to remember:

• Dress modestly. Leave your skimpy and revealing clothes at home. This is a sacred ceremony, so you have to respect their temples. If you have no choice but to wear a sleeveless dress or anything close, pair it with a bolero jacket to keep it modest.
• Mind your manners. Especially during the service, stand up if others stand up. Sit down if others sit down. Following along is a way of showing respect. However, bowing indicates more religious significance, so you can politely skip it if you prefer.
• Prayer shawls (tallit) are reserved for Jews. It’s perfectly fine to politely decline a tallit for the reason that you are not a Jew or you don’t feel comfortable wearing one.
• There are different Jewish communities. Dress codes and traditions may vary from each community (reform communities, modern communities, ultra-orthodox communities, etc.), so always ask the host or the family what the dos and don’ts in their community are when celebrating Mitzvah ceremonies.

The key is to ask the family or host what are the definite dos and don’ts for the ceremony, especially for the dress code, so that you can prepare beforehand.

Whether you wear a classic suit, a chic dress, or a smart-casual outfit, remember to prioritize the spirit of the occasion and have a blast!

If you enjoyed this post about what to wear to a Bat Mitzvah, you’d love these related blog posts:

• What to Wear to a Quinceañera as a Guest: 100+ Outfit Ideas!
• What to Wear to a Bachelorette Party as a Guest: 70+ Outfits
• Exactly What to Wear to a Backyard Wedding!
• What to Wear to a Baptism or Christening: 100+ Outfit Ideas
• What to Wear to a Baby Shower as a Guest or Mom (80+ Outfit Ideas)