topics to avoid on college essay

20 Admission College Essay Topics To Avoid

Jun 6, 2024 | Essay Topics | 0 comments

The college admission essay plays an important role in the application process. It is important to write an essay that highlights your unique qualities and experiences. However, there are certain college essay topics to avoid that can often do more harm than good. 

Table of Contents

List of Cliche College Essay Topics to Avoid

When it comes to admissions essays for colleges and universities in the U.S., there are certain cliche essay topics you need to avoid when brainstorming ideas. Here are some of the most common college essay topics to avoid.

1. Tragic Events

While it may be tempting to recount a tragic event in your life to make your college application essay stand out, it’s best to avoid this topic. Admissions officers want to read a well-written essay that focuses on the applicant, not a stream-of-consciousness recount of a highly personal tragedy. This type of essay probably won’t make the essay stand out positively and may even polarize the admissions committee.

2. Privileged Life

Essays on how perfect and privileged your life is may not resonate with admissions officers. While showcasing your strengths is important, writing an essay that seems like you’re applying to college from a bubble of perfection doesn’t mean you’re a more desirable candidate. Admissions officers want to see well-written personal essays that show the real you.

3. Controversial Topics

While it’s important to choose a topic that allows you to stand out from the rest, it’s best to avoid controversial topics that may polarize the admissions committee. Essays on politics, religion, or hot-button issues probably won’t positively impact admissions officers. Instead, focus on a topic that allows you to showcase your strengths and make a positive impact.

4. High School Drama

A breakup with a significant other or a feud with a friend may seem compelling for your college application essay. Still, it’s a poor college essay topic and won’t make any positive impression. Admissions officers want to see essays highlighting your growth and overcoming challenges, not rehash high school drama.

5. The importance of family

While family plays a significant role in many people’s lives, writing a generic essay about the importance of family may not set you apart from other applicants. If you choose to write about your family, be sure to highlight specific experiences or relationships that have shaped your identity.

6. Athletic Topics

Subjects related to athletics, such as emerging victorious in a championship game as the less favoured team or devoting extensive efforts to preparation for a competition, are not recommended as suitable college essay topics. Student-athletes, in particular, may feel inclined to select sports as the central theme of their essays due to their familiarity with the subject matter. However, sports is a conventional topic that can hinder your ability to distinguish yourself from other applicants. Even if sports are your predominant interest, choosing a different subject matter is advisable. 

7. The Heroic Figure: 

While it is admirable to write about a family member or mentor who has had a significant impact on your life, this topic can come across as derivative and fail to let the admissions committee learn more about who you are as an individual

8. Negative Aspects of the College

It may appear apparent, however, it is advisable to refrain from discussing any aspects that negatively affect the institution to which you are seeking admission. While some students may view discussing negative topics as a means to differentiate themselves or receive recognition for taking a bold approach in their essays, the institution is unlikely to perceive it similarly. Devoting your college essay to criticizing the institution or highlighting its negative aspects is a definite way to create an unfavourable impression. Such actions could jeopardize your opportunity for your application to be seriously considered. Instead, you can choose essay topics from our curated list of Evaluation Essay Topics .

9. Travel Experience

If you have extensive travel experience, you may be inclined to document a vacation or volunteer trip in your writing. Nevertheless, essays about travel are a well-trodden path and may not provide a sufficient opportunity to distinguish yourself. To ensure a travel-themed essay stands out, it is imperative to delve into a specific aspect of the journey, such as a transformative encounter with an individual or an unforeseen obstacle that arose. Broadly summarizing a trip should be avoided, as it diminishes the potential for creating a memorable and engaging narrative.

10. Personal Achievements and Accomplishments

When submitting your college application, it is advisable to include a compilation of your accomplishments and honours, highlighting any awards you have received. While it may be tempting to focus on your achievements in your college essay as a means of impressing the admissions committee, it is important to note that this approach could potentially backfire. The individual reviewing your essay may not find it sufficiently engaging or informative. Furthermore, there is a risk of coming across as boastful or self-promoting. Your college essay serves as an opportunity for schools to evaluate you based on your writing skills. Simply submitting a list of achievements does not allow your unique voice and personality to shine through your writing.

11. Creative Writing 

Engaging in creative writing is often cited as a typical pitfall to avoid when crafting college admission essays. Expressing your ideas through a stream-of-consciousness, poetry, or theatrical format is unlikely to garner favour with the admissions committee for its creativity. While it is natural to aspire for your essay to be distinctive, opting for a creative approach instead of conventional prose may not be the most effective strategy. To make a positive impression on the college, deliver compelling, well-articulated, and descriptive content in your essay.

12. The internship or job experience

Discussing a summer internship or job experience can be valuable, but it is also a common topic that may not make your essay stand out. Instead of focusing solely on the tasks you performed, consider writing about the skills you learned or challenges you overcame during the experience.

13 . Humorous Topics 

Topics that should be avoided in college essays also include jokes or humour. While writing your entire essay in a humorous tone or incorporating a few jokes may appear to be a way to ensure its entertainment value, it is important to remember that humour and jokes are highly subjective. The individual assessing your essay may not appreciate your sense of humour, or they may view attempts at jokes or humour as inappropriate or lacking professionalism. It is best to exclude this type of content from your essay entirely and refrain from aiming for a witty or sarcastic tone. This does not mean that your essay will inevitably be dull or dry. The goal is to craft an engaging and informative essay to read without relying on humour.

14. The Volunteering Experience:

Describing your volunteer work may show your commitment to serving others, but it is a topic that lacks personal reflection and often fails to highlight what sets you apart from other applicants.

15. The life-changing Immigrant story

Traveling to a foreign country can indeed be a life-changing experience, but writing about it in your college essay has become a common trope. If you want to write about a trip, be sure to focus on a unique aspect or perspective that sets your essay apart.

16. Your religious faith

When writing about your religious institution or faith, it’s important to consider your audience. If you’re applying to a religious school, essays about your faith will likely be expected. However, if you’re applying to a liberal school, you might want to avoid writing about your conservative religious views.

17. Relationships and breakups

Avoid writing about romantic relationships and breakups in your college essays. It’s important to present yourself professionally, and personal romantic experiences may not be appropriate.

18. Illegal Behavior

Refrain from writing about illegal or illicit behavior in your college application. This includes underage drug and alcohol use, sexual exploits, or any other illegal activities. Admissions committees are looking for students who demonstrate good judgment and decision-making skills.

19. Family pressure to choose a specific major or career

If you feel pressure from your family to pursue a particular major or field, it’s best to avoid making this the focus of your essay. Admissions committees want to see that you have the independence to make your own decisions.

20. Effort in a Difficult Course

Writing about working hard in a challenging class may not be the best essay topic. Admissions committees already expect applicants to have faced and overcome academic challenges. Instead, focus on highlighting your unique personality traits and experiences that showcase your strengths.

Read On: To learn about Process Analysis Essay Topics .

What Do Colleges Look For in College Essays?

Personal and Meaningful Content: Colleges want to see essays that are personal and meaningful to them. They gravitate toward essays that showcase your formative experiences, personal growth, and creative writing abilities. Avoid writing about cliched topics like your high school experience or the championship game you won, as these won’t work in your favour.

Unique and Engaging Topics: If you’re applying to a religious university or a school known for athletics, you’ll need to think outside the box. Colleges want to see essays on truly unique topics, such as a volunteer trip or your aspirations to become a titan in your field. Be sure to stay away from topics that people aren’t comfortable with. You can also check out our Expository essay topics to get an idea.

Prompt and Relevance: Make sure your essays are relevant to the prompt and the college you’re applying to. If you want to attend a particular college in the U.S., be sure to tailor your essay to fit their values and mission. Colleges want essays that show you’ve done your research and are genuinely interested in their institution.

College essay topics that stand out are crucial for high school seniors hoping to make a strong impression on admissions officers. While it may be tempting to write about cliché topics like your grades and test scores, it is important to remember that many other applicants will likely be covering similar ground. If you’re applying to colleges in the U.S., taking the time to craft a compelling essay can make all the difference. Remember, the goal of your essay is not to impress per se but to authentically show who you are and why you want to become a part of their institution.

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by Kristen Wiley | Jun 5, 2024 | Essay Writing

A big congratulations on closing out another academic school year and all you have been able to accomplish, summer is upon us! Perhaps you are still finalizing your summer plans or gearing up for what is planned. However, if you are a rising senior, college applications, including college essays, will be integral to your summer agenda. It may feel surreal to be already talking about college essays, but Campus Bound is here to help you develop a strong essay topic you are confident in and provide professional editorial assistance with this unique form of writing. Even better, your college list does not have to be final to begin writing! 

What TO DO when writing my college essay?

• Start early – this is why we are bringing up essays in the month of June!  Essays take time and you want to give yourself plenty of it. We have students start by brainstorming ideas before moving into their first draft.  
• Answer the prompt you select – this may sound obvious, but oftentimes, students write a solid essay without fully answering the prompt they selected.  This is where brainstorming with your college counselor is helpful to flush out your ideas, first. You also have to stick to a word count, so it is essential to stay on topic. 
• Let it be your voice – each person has their own way of writing so let your voice be heard! This will help the reader truly understand who you are. This also includes not allowing someone or something to write your essay for you. This is taken very seriously.

What NOT TO DO when writing my college essay?

• Avoid cliche topics– every student’s story is unique and you want that to stand out in your college essay. Avoid commonly used topics, but if necessary to use, find a way to make it specific to you. Remember, colleges are reading thousands of essays each year. 
• “Too many cooks” – it is common to want feedback from others, perhaps a parent, teacher, friend, etc. but you want to avoid having too many “cooks in the kitchen” when it comes to the editing process. The college essay is a different style of essay that students often have not yet had to write. We encourage you to lean on the knowledge and expertise of your Campus Bound counselor and essay specialist to guide you through this process.
• Be mindful of controversial/inappropriate topics – the goal here is to not offend the person(s) reading your essays. This essay is all about YOU, so be aware of how you position your strong beliefs/opinions. 

Outside of everything that has been included in your application, your essay(s) are where the admissions committee will “meet” you through the power of your story and experiences. Over the course of of the summer, you can begin working on your Common Application Personal Statement for most private and public colleges/universities, and if you are applying to the University of California system, you can also begin your Personal Insight Questions (PIQs) , since we have confirmation of those topics for the 2024-2025 application cycle.

Writing college essays is a process, but nonetheless a fun and personal way to allow the colleges to learn more about who you are through a holistic admissions review. Start early and set aside the necessary time to write and revise. How you take advantage of the summer will alleviate stress in the fall. We are so excited to help you get started!

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The 2021-2022 Common App Essay: How to Write a Great Essay That Will Get You Accepted

If you’re reading this, then you’ve probably started the very exciting process of applying to college—and chances are you may be a little overwhelmed at times. That’s OK! The key to getting into the right college for you is taking each step of the application process in stride, and one of those steps is completing the Common App and the Common App essay.

In this post, you’ll learn what the Common Application essay is, how to write one (including a free checklist to help you with the process), example essays, and much more. Let’s get started!

Table of Contents

What is the Common App, and More Importantly, What is the Common App Essay? Quick Facts on the 2021-2022 Common App Essay How Do You Write a Common App Essay?

What Should I Avoid in My Common App Essay? What Are Some Good Common App Essay Examples?

Common Application Essay FAQs

What is the common app, and more importantly, what is the common app essay.

The “Common App,” short for the Common Application , is a general application used to apply to multiple college undergraduate programs at once. It’s accepted by hundreds of colleges in the United States as well as some colleges internationally.

The idea is that the Common App is a “one-stop shop” so you don’t have to complete a million separate applications. That said, plenty of colleges still require their own application components, and the Common App, as user-friendly as it aims to be, can still feel like a bit of a challenge to complete.

Part of the reason the Common App can seem intimidating is because of the Common App essay component, which is required of all students who submit a college application this way. But never fear! In reality, the Common App essay is easy to ace if you know how to approach it and you give it your best.

So without further ado, let’s take a look at anything and everything you need to know about the 2021-2022 Common App essay in order to help you get into the school of your dreams. We’ve also created a downloadable quick guide to writing a great Common Application essay.

Quick Facts on the 2021-2022 Common App Essay

Below are just a few of the short and sweet things you need to know about the 2021-2022 Common App essay, but we’ll elaborate on some of this content later in this post.

How Do You Write a Common App Essay?

The million dollar question about the Common App essay is obviously, “How do I actually write it?!”

Now there’s something to keep in mind before exploring how to compose the Common App essay, and that’s the purpose of this task. You may be wondering:

• What are college admissions boards actually looking for?
• Why are you being asked to write this essay?

College admissions boards want to see that you can compose a compelling, well-crafted essay. After four years of high school, you’re expected to be able to craft a clear and concise piece of writing that addresses a specific subject.

So yes, you’re actually being evaluated on your essay writing skills, but the purpose of the Common Application essay is deeper than that—it’s to present the type of person and thinker that you are.

Regardless of which prompt you choose, colleges are trying to get a sense of how thoughtfully and critically you can reflect on your life and the world around you .

And furthermore, they want to get a sense of who you are—your interests, your personality, your values—the dimensional aspects of you as an applicant that simply can’t be expressed in transcripts and test scores . In short, you want to stand out and be memorable.

That said, there is no exact formula for “cracking the case” of the Common App essay, but there are plenty of useful steps and tips that can help you write a great essay.

(In a hurry? Download our quick and concise handout that sums up some of the keys to the Common App essay!)

1) Familiarize Yourself With the Common App Prompts and How to Approach Them

The Common App recently released the 2021-2022 essay prompts , which are almost the same as last year’s prompts, but with one BIG difference.

The prompt about problem solving (formerly prompt #4) has been replaced with a prompt about gratitude and how it has motivated you. According to Common App President and CEO Jenny Rickard, this change was inspired by new scientific research on the benefits of writing about gratitude and the positive impact others have had on our lives.

Additionally, the Common App now includes an optional Covid-19 prompt where you can discuss how you’ve personally been affected by the Covid-19 pandemic.

Now, let’s take a look at each 2021-2022 Common App prompt individually. You’ll notice that every prompt really has two parts to it:

• share, explain and describe a narrative, and
• reflect on, analyze, and draw meaning from it.

Let’s take a look.

  Prompt #1: A snapshot of your story

Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

• Discuss a background, identity, or interest that you feel is meaningful to who you are and/or that or sets you apart from others.
• Reflect on why this attribute is meaningful and how it has shaped you as a person.

  Prompt #2: An obstacle you overcame

Prompt: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

• Recount a time you faced a challenge, setback, or failure.
• Reflect on how this affected you, what you learned from it, and if it led to any successes later down the line.

  Prompt #3: A belief or idea you questioned or challenged

Prompt: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

• Explain a time that you questioned a particular belief or way of thinking.
• Elaborate on what prompted this questioning, what the outcome was, and why this outcome was significant.

  Prompt #4: An experience of gratitude that has motivated you

Prompt: Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

• Describe the specific experience or interaction that made you feel a sense of gratitude. Make sure to explain who did something nice for you and why it was surprising or unexpected.
• Explain, as specifically as possible, how this feeling of gratitude changed or motivated you. What actions did you take a result? How did your mindset change?

  Prompt #5: An accomplishment or event that sparked personal growth

Prompt: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

• Describe an accomplishment or event that sparked personal growth for you.
• Reflect on the nature of this growth and/or a new understanding you gained in the process.

  Prompt #6: An interest so engaging you lose track of time

Prompt: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

• Discuss a topic, idea, or interest that is so engaging to you that you lose track of time when focused on it.
• Reflect on and explain why this interest is so important to you, and your method of learning more about it.

  Prompt #7: An essay topic of your choice

Prompt: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

• Discuss any subject matter or philosophical question of interest to you.
• Reflect on the implications of this subject or question, and how it has shaped you, transformed you, impacted your life, etc.

  Now keep in mind that to some degree, it doesn’t actually matter which prompt you choose to answer, so long as you write and present yourself well. But you obviously want to pick whichever Common App essay prompt speaks to you most, and the one you think will provide you the meatiest and most meaningful material.

This is an outstanding guide to choosing the right Common App essay prompt, but as a rule of thumb, the “right” prompt will probably stand out to you. If you have to rack your brain, for example, to think of a challenge you’ve overcome and how the experience has shaped you, then that prompt probably isn’t the right one.

Authenticity is key, so choose the prompt you can answer thoroughly.

2) Brainstorm

Whether you know immediately which prompt you’re going to choose or not, do yourself a huge favor and brainstorm . Take out a notebook and jot down or free write all of the ideas that spring to your mind for as many of the prompts that you’re considering. You might be surprised what ideas you generate as you start doing this, and you might be surprised which ideas seem to have the most content and examples to elaborate on.

Also, it’s important to note that your subject matter doesn’t have to be highly dramatic or spectacular. You don’t have to recount a near-death experience, an epic overseas adventure, a 180-degree turn of faith, etc. Your ordinary life, when reflected upon thoughtfully, is interesting and profound.

3) Answer the Question (and Stay on Topic!)

This may sound painfully obvious, but for some of us, it can be hard to stay on topic. Each prompt is posed as a question , so don’t lose sight of that and let your essay devolve into a story about yourself that never really gets at the heart of the prompt.

As you’re drafting your essay—say after each paragraph—pause and refer back to the question, making sure each paragraph plays some part in actually responding to the prompt.

4) Structure and Organize Your Essay Effectively

The Common App essay isn’t like many of the other argumentative essays you’ve been taught to write in school. It is argumentative in that you are essentially arguing for why you are a good candidate for a particular college, using your personal experience as support, but it’s more than that.

The Common Application essay is essentially a narrative essay that is reflective and analytical by nature. This means that regardless of which prompt you select, you’ll be sharing something personal about yourself, and then reflecting on and analyzing why what you shared is important.

And even if this isn’t an essay format that you’re accustomed to writing, you can still rely on your knowledge of basic essay structures to help you. You’ll still need a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Let’s talk about those three pieces now.

Introduction

The purpose of an introduction is 1) to grab the reader’s attention and compel them to continue reading, and 2) to introduce the reader to the general subject at hand.

So the most important part of the introduction is a unique attention-getter that establishes your personal voice and tone while piquing the reader’s interest. An example of a good hook could be a brief illustrative anecdote, a quote, a rhetorical question, and so on.

Now, you may be wondering, “Do I need a thesis statement?” This is a great question and the simple answer is no.

This is because some students prefer to hook their reader with a bit of mystery and let their story unfold organically without a thesis sentence “spoiling” what is to come. This doesn’t mean you can’t have a thesis sentence, it just means you don’t need one. It just depends on how you want to build your personal narrative, and what serves you best.

That said, your essay does need a greater message or lesson in it, which is another way of saying a thesis . You just don’t necessarily have to write it out in the introduction paragraph.

It might help you to keep a thesis in mind or even write it down just for your own sake, even if you don’t explicitly use it in your introduction. Doing so can help you stay on track and help you build up to a stronger reflection.

Here are some examples of narrative thesis statements:

• I moved a lot as a child on account of having a parent in the military, which led me to become highly adaptable to change.
• The greatest obstacle I’ve overcome is my battle with leukemia, which has taught me both incredible resilience and reverence for the present.
• An accomplishment that I achieved was making the varsity volleyball team, which has made me grow tremendously as a person, specifically in the areas of self-confidence and collaboration.

As discussed earlier, there are two parts to each prompt: explanation and reflection . Each part should be addressed throughout the essay, but how you organize your content is up to you.

A good rule of thumb for structuring the body of your essay is as follows:

• Situate your reader: provide context for your story by focusing in on a particular setting, subject matter, or set of details. For example, you may frame an essay about an internship at the zoo with the phrase, “Elephants make the best friends.” Your reader knows immediately that the subject matter involves your interaction with animals, specifically elephants.
• Explain more about your topic and how it affected you, using specific examples and key details.
• Go deeper. Elaborate and reflect on the message at hand and how this particular topic shaped the person you are today.

Note that while there are no set rules for how many paragraphs you should use for your essay, be mindful of breaking paragraphs whenever you naturally shift gears, and be mindful of too-long paragraphs that just feel like walls of text for the reader.

Your conclusion should flow nicely from your elaboration, really driving home your message or what you learned. Be careful not to just dead-end your essay abruptly.

This is a great place to speculate on how you see the subject matter informing your future, especially as a college student and beyond. For example, what might you want to continue to learn about? What problems do you anticipate being able to solve given your experience?

5) Write Honestly, Specifically, and Vividly

It may go without saying, but tell your own story, without borrowing from someone else’s or embellishing. Profound reflection, insight, and wisdom can be gleaned from the seemingly simplest experiences, so don’t feel the need to stray from the truth of your unique personal experiences.

Also, make sure to laser in on a highly specific event, obstacle, interest, etc. It is better to go “narrower and deeper” than to go “wider and shallower,” because the more specific you are, the more vivid and engrossing your essay will naturally be.

For example, if you were a camp counselor every summer for the last few years, avoid sharing several summers’ worth of content in your essay. Focus instead on one summer , and even better, on one incident during that summer at camp.

And on that note, remember to be vivid! Follow the cardinal rule of writing: show and don’t tell . Provide specific details, examples, and images in order to create a clear and captivating narrative for your readers.

6) Be Mindful of Voice and Tone

Unlike in most academic essays, you can sound a bit less stuffy and a bit more like yourself in the Common App essay. Your essay should be professional, but can be conversational. Try reading it aloud; does it sound like you? That’s good!

Be mindful, however, of not getting too casual or colloquial in it. This means avoiding slang, contractions, or “text speak” abbreviations (e.g. “lol”), at least without deliberate context in your story (for example, if you’re recounting dialogue).

You’re still appealing to academic institutions here, so avoid profanity at all costs, and make sure you’re still upholding all the rules for proper style, grammar, and punctuation.

7) Revise and Proofread

This one is a biggie. Give yourself time during your application process to revise, rework, and even rewrite your essay several times. Let it grow and change and become the best version it can be. After you write your first draft, walk away from it for a couple days, and return to it with fresh eyes. You may be surprised by what you feel like adding, removing, or changing.

And of course, make sure your essay is pristine before you submit it. Triple and quadruple check for spelling and usage errors, typos, etc. Since this isn’t a timed essay you have to sit for (like the ACT essay test , for example), the college admissions readers will expect your essay to be polished and sparkling.

A tried and true method for both ensuring flow and catching errors is reading your essay aloud. You may sound a little silly, but it really works!

What Should I Avoid in My Common App Essay?

Resume Material

Your Common App essay is your chance to provide a deeper insight into you as a person, so avoid just repeating what you’d put on a resume. This is not to say you can’t discuss something mentioned briefly on your resume in greater depth, but the best essays offer something new that helps round out the whole college application.

Controversy

Okay, now this one is a bit tricky. On the one hand, you should write boldly and honestly, and some of the prompts (the one about challenging a particular belief, for example) are appropriate for addressing potentially contentious topics.

But that said, avoid being controversial or edgy for the sake of being controversial or edgy. Be steadfast in your beliefs for the greater sake of the narrative and your essay will be naturally compelling without being alienating to your readers.

Vague Stories

If you have a personal story that you’re not entirely comfortable sharing, avoid it, even if it would make a great essay topic in theory. This is because if you’re not comfortable writing on the subject matter, you’ll end up being too vague, which won’t do your story or overall application justice. So choose a subject matter you’re familiar with and comfortable discussing in specifics.

Unless they really, truly serve your essay, avoid general platitudes and cliches in your language. It is definitely encouraged to have an essay with a moral, lesson, or greater takeaway, but try to avoid summing up what you’ve learned with reductive phrases like “slow and steady wins the race,” “good things come in small packages,” “actions speak louder than words,” “you can’t judge a book by its cover,” and so on.

What Are Some Good Common App Essay Examples?

There are tons of Common App essays out there, including these Common App essay examples accepted at Connecticut College, which include explanations from admissions readers about why they were chosen.

But let’s take a look here at two versions of an example essay, one that is just okay and one that is great.

Both Common App essay examples are crafted in response to prompt #2, which is:

Essay Version #1, Satisfactory Essay:

During my sophomore year of high school, I tore my ACL, which stands for “anterior cruciate ligament,” and is the kiss of death for most athletic careers. This injury ended up being one of the greatest obstacles of my life. It was also, however, a turning point that taught me to see opportunity amidst adversity.

It was particularly awful that I was just about to score a winning goal during a championship hockey game when I was checked by a guy on the opposing team and came crashing down on my knee. It was pain unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and I knew immediately that this was going to be bad.

For the few months that followed the accident, I was lost, not really knowing what to do with myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore because hockey had been my whole world and sense of identity. Between working out, attending practice, playing home and away games, and watching games to learn more, it was my lifeblood. Losing my ability to play took a toll on me physically and emotionally and I grew lethargic and depressed.

And then one day I heard my school would be adding an advanced multimedia art class for those students who wanted to continue studying art beyond what was already offered. I had taken the handful of art classes my school offered and really enjoyed and excelled at them—though I had never considered them more than just fun electives to fill my scheduled, as required.

After a couple of weeks of the class, I began feeling better. Suddenly I wanted to draw or paint everything I looked at. I wanted to share the world around me as I saw it with others, to connect with people in a way I’d never done before. I met and made friends with many new people in that art class, people I would have never known if I hadn’t taken it, which also opened me up to all kinds of new mindsets and experiences.

We’re all familiar with the common adage, “When one door closes, another opens,” and this is exactly what happened for me. I might never have pursued art more seriously if I hadn’t been taken out of hockey. This has served as a great reminder for me to stay open to new opportunities. We never know what will unexpectedly bring us joy and make us more well-rounded people.

Areas for Improvement in Version #1:

• It lacks a compelling hook.
• The discussion of the obstacle and reflection upon it are both a bit rushed.
• It could use more vivid and evocative language.
• It uses a cliche (“one door closes”).
• It is somewhat vague at times (e.g. what kinds of “new mindsets and experiences” did the writer experience? In what ways are they now more “well-rounded”?).

Now let’s apply this feedback and revise the essay.

Essay Version #2, Excellent Essay:

My body was splayed out on the ice and I was simultaneously right there, in searing pain, and watching everything from above, outside of myself. It wasn’t actually a “near death” experience, but it was certainly disorienting, considering that just seconds before, I was flying down the ice in possession of the puck, about to score the winning goal of our championship game.

Instead, I had taken a check from an opposing team member, and had torn my ACL (or anterior cruciate ligament), which is the kiss of death for most athletic careers.

My road to recovery included two major surgeries, a couple months on crutches, a year of physical therapy, and absolutely zero athletic activity. I would heal, thankfully, and regain movement in my knee and leg, but I was told by doctors that I may never play hockey again, which was devastating to me. Hockey wasn’t just my passion—it was my life’s goal to play professionally.

For the few months that followed the accident, I was lost, feeling like a ghost haunting my own life, watching everything but unable to participate. I didn’t know who I was anymore because hockey had been my whole world and sense of identity. Between working out, attending practice, playing home and away games, and watching games to learn more, it was my lifeblood. Losing my ability to play took a toll on me physically and emotionally, and I grew lethargic and depressed.

And then one day I heard my school would be adding an advanced multimedia art class after school for those students who wanted to study art more seriously. I had already taken the handful of art classes my school offered and really enjoyed them—though I had never considered them more than just fun electives to fill my schedule, as required. And, because of hockey, I certainly had never had afternoons open.

After a couple of weeks of the class, I began to feel alive again, like “myself” but renewed, more awake and aware of everything around me. Suddenly I wanted to draw or paint everything I looked at, to bring everything I saw to life. It wasn’t just that I’d adopted a new hobby or passion, it was that I began looking more closely and critically at the world around me. I wanted to share what I saw with others, to connect with people in a way I’d never done before.

My art teacher selected a charcoal portrait of mine to be showcased in a local art show and I’ve never been more proud of myself for anything. Many of my friends, family members, and teammates came to see the show, which blew me away, but also I realized then just how much of my own self worth had been attached to people’s perception of me as a successful athlete. I learned how much better it feels to gain self worth from within. Unlike hockey, which I’d trained to be good at since I was a toddler, art is something that made me much more vulnerable. I didn’t do it to try to be the best, I did it because it felt good. And getting out of my comfort zone in this way gave me a sense of confidence I had never known prior, despite all my time on the ice during high-stakes games.

Today, I’m back in skates and able to play hockey, but will probably not play professionally; while I am disappointed, I’m also at peace with it. We make plans in life, and sometimes life has other plans for us that we have to adapt to and embrace, which is the more profound lesson I’ve learned in the healing process. We can crumple in the face of obstacles, or we can look for a silver lining and allow ourselves to grow into more complex, dynamic, well-rounded people. I don’t know what the rest of life holds for me, but I do know that I’m going to keep making art, and I’m going to keep opening myself up to new opportunities and experiences.

Strengths of Version #2:

• It has a compelling hook that draws the reader in.
• It has a clear beginning, middle, and end (expressed as an introduction, body, and conclusion).
• It directly addresses the prompt at hand and sticks to it.
• It focuses on one specific incident.
• It is well balanced in its explanation of and reflection on a given experience.
• It uses a clear, unique voice and tone as well as vivid, evocative language.
• It has a logical and cohesive flow.
• It is highly personal while also polished and professional.

Hopefully these examples have given you ideas of how you can take your Common App essay from good to great. If you have more questions about how to write a Common App essay, keep reading our FAQs below.

How much do I actually have to write for the Common App essay?

Last year, the Common App essay was capped at 650 words with a minimum of 250 words required. The best essays tend to range between 500-650 words.

Think of it this way as you start to draft: 500 words is one single-spaced page (250 words is one double-spaced page), so you should write roughly a page to page and half of typed, single-spaced content.

Where can I find the official Common App essay prompts?

Here are the 2021-2022 Common App essay prompts , which are the same as last year’s, with the exception of a new prompt #4 and the addition of a Covid-19 Common App prompt .

Do I need a title for the Common App essay?

A title is not required for the Common App essay, but you are, of course, more than welcome to include one if you’d like.

Where can I go for more information about the Common App essay?

All of the necessary information for the Common App and the Common App essay can be found on the Common Application home page.

For further reading, here are some posts that tackle and dispel common myths about the Common App essay:

Myth: The Common App essay must sound professional. Myth: Colleges can’t tell if someone helps write a common app essay.

If you haven’t already, you can download our free Common App essay checklist .

Happy Writing!

There you have it! The Common App essay can actually be quite rewarding to write if you give yourself enough time to prepare for it thoroughly. Remember, it’s all about you, and you’re the authority on that! So hunker down and don’t forget to have fun in the writing process.

We’d also love to hear from you! What questions or concerns do you still have about the Common Application essay? What are you thinking about writing on?

Comment below, and good luck!

Nadyja von Ebers is one of Magoosh’s Content Creators. Nadyja holds an MA in English from DePaul University and has taught English and at the high school and college levels for twelve years. She has a decade of experience teaching preparation for the AP exams, the SAT, and the ACT, among other tests. Additionally, Nadyja has worked as an academic advisor at college level and considers herself an expert in all things related to college-prep. She’s applied her college expertise to posts such as UCLA Admissions: The SAT Scores, ACT Scores, and GPA You Need to Get in and A Family Guide to College Admissions . Nadyja loves helping students reach their maximum potential and thrives in both literal and virtual classrooms. When she’s not teaching, she enjoys reading and writing for pleasure and loves spending time in or near the ocean. You can connect with her on LinkedIn !

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College admissions

Course: college admissions   >   unit 4, writing a strong college admissions essay.

• Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes
• Brainstorming tips for your college essay
• How formal should the tone of your college essay be?
• Taking your college essay to the next level
• Sample essay 1 with admissions feedback
• Sample essay 2 with admissions feedback
• Student story: Admissions essay about a formative experience
• Student story: Admissions essay about personal identity
• Student story: Admissions essay about community impact
• Student story: Admissions essay about a past mistake
• Student story: Admissions essay about a meaningful poem
• Writing tips and techniques for your college essay

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Video transcript

10 Successful Harvard Application Essays | 2022

With the top applicants from every high school applying to the best schools in the country, it's important to have an edge in your college application. Check out our updated list of 10 Harvard application essays below from students who made it in, and hear from expert college consultants about what made these work.

Sophia's Essay

After 12 years of helping high achieving professionals get into their dream grad schools, The Art of Applying has opened our doors to high achievers, dreamers, and everyday students to work with us on their college applications. The sooner you reach out to us about working together, the better! The more time we have to achieve success together, the better set up we will be to achieve outstanding results.

We’d love to chat about your college applications with you -- book a free 15-minute call today !

Successful Harvard Essay - “Black Eyeliner Does Not Make You a Nonconformist”

Several years ago, my mother told me I listen to “white people music.” And I suppose that’s true—rock 'n' roll tends to spring from the middle-class basements of young, white men. Though I did point out that its origins trace back to jazz musicians of the Harlem Renaissance. Also that one of the greatest guitarists of all time—dear Mr.Hendrix; may he rest in peace—was black.

My devotion to punk rock began in seventh grade, when Green Day’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” came up on my iTunes shuffle. I started to look into their other releases, eventually immersing myself into the complete punk discography. My mother, having grown up in a racially segregated New York, was more likely to listen to Stevie Wonder than Stevie Nicks.

But, she must have figured, to each her own. So while my compatriots indulged in the music of Taylor Swift, One Direction, and Lady Gaga, my tacky Hot Topic headphones blasted Green Day, Ramones, and The Clash. My young adolescent ears drank in the raw, chaotic beauty, an echo of the pain of the past. The thrashing, pulsating vitality of the instruments painted a picture, connecting me to the disillusioned kids who launched an epic movement of liberation some 40 years ago.

Punkers question authority. Aggressively contrarian, they advocate for the other side—the side that seemed smothered silent during the post-Vietnam era. They rejected the established norms. They spoke out and weren’t afraid.

I had always felt different from my peers. In my girls’s prep school, the goal was to be blond and good at soccer. I was neither, which automatically deemed me “uncool”. I had a few close friends but never felt like I was part of a whole.

Then came the punk philosophy, for the outliers, for those who were different. That was something I could be part of.

Instead of trying to conform to my peers, I adopted an anti-conformist attitude. Much like the prematurely gray anti-hero of my favorite book, I sneered at all the “phonies” around me. I resented anything popular. Uggs? Wouldn’t buy them. Yoga pants? Never. Starbucks?Well, I could make a few concessions.

But I felt more cynical than liberated. I wasted so much energy on being different than I lost track of what actually made me happy. I insisted I didn’t care what people thought of me, which was true. Yet if I based my actions almost solely on their behavior, how could I deny their influence?

Luckily, as I transitioned from a private school to a brand new public high school, I got to clean the slate. I bought yoga pants and found they were comfortable. I listened to a wide variety of music, even the eh kind that wasn’t 100% hardcore punk. And I was happier.

I revised my punk philosophy: Do as you like—whether it fits into the “system” or not.

The Beatles’s “Revolution” lyrics sum it up well:

You tell me it’s the institution

Well, you know

You’d better free your mind instead

What I think Lennon was getting at is questioning everything does not entail opposing everything.

What I think Lennon was getting at is questioning everything does not entail opposing everything. Defiance for the sake of defiance is unproductive at best, destructive at worst. I believe in life’s greater Truths, like Love and Justice. These Truths are what should govern my actions—not what’s popular and what isn’t. Striving to act on these ideals has helped me stay true to myself, regardless of what’s considered “conformist."

Perhaps I’ve failed the punk movement. We’ll have to wait and see. In the meantime, I’ll do what makes me happy and change what doesn’t. I’ll wear Doc Martens instead of Uggs; I’ll partake in a grande pumpkin spice latte; I’ll watch Gossip Girl; I’ll blare my favorite guitar solo over the speakers in my room.

And that’s as punk as it gets.

Professional Review by The Art of Applying

From the snarky title and fiery opening, I was immediately drawn in. I and many people on our team at The Art of Applying® grew up as one of the few students of color in our honors classes, being told we liked “white people things.”

When you write about very specific personal experiences you’ve had, you can strike an emotional chord and connection with people who have similar experiences, and you can simultaneously intrigue people who have had vastly different experiences.

The student’s response to her mother’s assertion and the level of knowledge the student demonstrates about punk rock’s origins and political context show that she doesn’t just enjoy punk music passively as a fan; she was curious enough to research and learn about its historical roots, and confident enough to offer a contradictory viewpoint about what punk music is and who it is and isn’t for.

I enjoyed reading the journey of how the student’s interest in punk rock blossomed from an interest into a passion and eventually an identity. Don’t just tell us the beginning and the end of a personal growth journey; show us the messy middle too.

The student concisely depicts a vivid image of her outsider status in her private school without villainizing the other students. She also uses humor and wordplay well when she makes a concession for enjoying Starbucks.

A turning point in the essay comes when the student starts questioning whether her staunchly nonconformist identity is serving her. This shows an even deeper level of self reflection and personal growth.

While including quotes and lyrics in your essay can divert attention from your own words to a famous person’s, the student effectively uses the lyrics as a launching point for further reflection.

It ends in the same confident, energetic voice I grew to love throughout the piece, and the final sentences read like a glorious mic drop.

The conclusion is strong in that we see a person who has embraced all sides of herself rather than stubbornly clinging to a rigid image of nonconformity.

This essay is an excellent example to learn from if you want to write about how one of your passions spurred personal growth, struggles with fitting in, changing your mind about who you are, and/or getting clear on your values.

Taras' Essay

Prep Expert is a premiere online education company that has helped over 100,000 students improve their test scores, receive admission into top universities, and win over $100 million in college scholarships. As Seen On Shark Tank, Prep Expert offers online SAT & ACT courses, K-12 academic tutoring, and college admissions consulting.

Successful Harvard Essay: More Boluses to Dissect

Finally, I had found a volunteer opportunity at the Long Marine Lab, a marine biology research facility at UC Santa Cruz! I envisioned swimming with dolphins, or perhaps studying behavioral patterns of decorator crabs. But when I discovered the nature of my work on the first day of volunteering, my excitement turned to disappointment: I’d be picking through albatross boluses, the indigestible materials they cough up before going to sea. Sure enough, after three hours of separating fishing line from brown muck, I began to dread what I was in for. At that point, I had no clue of just how interesting the opportunity would turn out to be, and it would remind me of how easily I become engrossed and fascinated by all sorts of random stuff.

It didn't take long for my boredom with the boluses to shift toward curiosity.

It didn’t take long for my boredom with the boluses to shift toward curiosity. In the first place, the project itself was fascinating. The idea was to research the behavior and diet of albatrosses at sea. These birds can fly for months without touching land! When the birds have chicks, they cough up whatever they’ve eaten at sea to feed their young. When the chicks become old enough to fly, they cough up the hard, indigestible materials left in their stomachs. These boluses contain squid beaks that can reveal the types of squid eaten and the area where the squid were caught. We volunteers would pick through the boluses, separating out anything that looked interesting.

As I got better at dissecting these blobs, I started finding crazy stuff, and my colleagues and I would often discuss important findings. There was, of course, the search for the biggest squid beak, and the fish eyes were always interesting. But most shocking was the plastic. Beyond the normal Styrofoam and fishing line were plastic bottle caps, lighters, even toothbrushes. Occasionally, Asian writing revealed distant origins. Once, I picked through a bolus permeated with orange goo, eventually to discover the round mouthpiece of a balloon. The origins of these artifacts were sad, but also fascinating. I learned of the Texas-sized trash heap in the middle of the Pacific, the effects of which I was witnessing firsthand. I gained a heightened awareness of the damage inflicted on the oceans by humans, and their far-reaching impacts. Perhaps most importantly, I realized that even the most tedious things can blow my mind.

If dissecting boluses can be so interesting, imagine the things I’ve yet to discover! I play piano and can see myself dedicating my life to the instrument, but I can’t bear to think of everything else I’d have to miss. I’d love to study albatrosses, but also particle physics or history, and preferably all three. At this point in my life, I can’t imagine picking just one area. At the same time, though, I love studying subjects in depth. I tend to get overwhelmed by my options, since I can’t possibly choose them all. But at least I know I’ll never be bored in life: there are just too many subjects to learn about, books to read, pieces to play, albatrosses to save, and boluses to dissect.

Professional Review by Prep Expert (Akbar Rahel)

While many applicants write essays full of detail and superlatives, emotional honesty is a critical component of a great essay.

What immediately distinguishes the first paragraph of the essay is the emotional honesty: Taras admits how “excitement turned to disappointment” and how he “had no clue” about how the opportunity would turn out. Too often, applicants fail to recognize that admissions officers are just normal people reading essays—people who also experience a range of emotions such as disappointment and confusion. While many applicants write essays full of detail and superlatives, emotional honesty is a critical component of a great essay.

Moreover, on a simple, albeit important level, he situates readers in the very first sentence by mentioning that his research was a volunteer opportunity at Long Marine Lab. Too many applicants attempt to keep a reader in suspense when, in fact, it is always better to provide context for an experience. Admissions officers don’t want to feel like they are deciphering the seemingly mundane who, what, when, and where. Nobody has time to untangle an essay.

Moving on, Taras succeeds in clearly demonstrating a sincere passion for his research by sharing interesting details of his work, such as understanding boluses. Whether writing about birds, Model UN, or any other possible topic, details are what help applicants show the admissions committees a level of intellectual vitality.

While an overall vibrant essay that captures a reader’s attention because of the unique topic, some aspects could have been improved. For example, exclamation points may come across as contrived enthusiasm to many readers—and strip away some of the decorum of an essay. Moreover, in the last paragraph, Taras mentions particle physics and history as possible interests, which did not align with the essay (and could have hurt chances for admissions in the final “shaping” of an incoming class).

Yukta's Essay

Prepory is a leading college admissions and career coaching company. Our college admissions team is made up of multi-degree academics, former university faculty, former admissions officers, Ivy League writing coaches, and graduates from the nation's most elite institutions. Prepory students are 93% more likely to be admitted to one of their top five college choices and 2.5 times more likely to get into schools with acceptance rates below 20%.

Successful Harvard Essay: Yukta

Garishly lined with a pearlescent lavender, my eyes idly scanned the haphazard desk in front of me, settling on a small kohl. I packed the ebony powder into my waterline with a shaky hand, wincing at the fine specks making their way into my eyes.

The palette's colors bore in, the breadth of my imagination interwoven into now-brittle brushes.

The girl in the mirror seemed sharper, older, somehow. At only 12, I was relatively new to the powders and blushes that lined my birthday makeup kit, but I was determined to decipher the deep splashes of color that had for so long been an enigma to me.

After school involved self-inflicted solitary confinement, as I shut myself in my bedroom to hone my skills. The palette’s colors bore in, the breadth of my imagination interwoven into now-brittle brushes. Much to my chagrin, my mom walked in one day, amused at my smudged lipstick, which congealed on the wispy hairs that lined my upper lip.

“Halloween already?” she asked playfully.

I flushed in embarrassment as she got to work, smoothing my skin with a brush and filling the gaps in my squiggly liner. Becoming a makeup aficionado was going to take some help.

“What’s this even made of?” I asked, transfixed by the bright powder she was smattering on my cheeks.

“You know, I’m not sure,” she murmured. “Maybe you should find out.”

Hours down the internet rabbit hole, I learned that the shimmery powder was made of mica, a mineral commonly used in cosmetics. While the substance was dazzling, its production process was steeped in humanitarian violations and environmental damage. Determined to reconcile my burgeoning love for makeup with my core values, I flung the kit into the corner of my drawer, vowing to find a more sustainable alternative. Yes, I was every bit as dramatic as you imagine it.

Now 17, I approach ethical makeup with assured deliberation. As I glance at my dusty kit, which still sits where I left it, I harken back on the journey it has taken me on. Without the reckoning that it spurred, makeup would still simply be a tool of physical transformation, rather than a catalyst of personal growth.

Now, each swipe of eyeliner is a stroke of my pen across paper as I write a children’s book about conscious consumerism. My flitting fingers programmatically place sparkles, mattes, and tints across my face in the same way that they feverishly move across a keyboard, watching algorithms and graphs integrate into models of supply chain transparency. Makeup has taught me to be unflinching, both in self expression and my expectations for the future. I coat my lips with a bold sheen, preparing them to form words of unequivocal urgency at global conferences and casual discussions. I see my passion take flight, emboldening others to approach their own reckonings, uncomfortable as they may be. I embark on a two-year journey of not buying new clothes in a statement against mass consumption and rally youth into a unified organization. We stand together, picking at the gritty knots of makeup, corporate accountability, and sustainability as they slowly unravel.

Deep rooted journeys of triumph and tribulation are plastered across the surface of my skin — this paradox excites me.

I’m not sure why makeup transfixes me. Perhaps it’s because I enjoy seeing my reveries take shape. Yukta, the wannabe Wicked Witch of the West, has lids coated with emerald luster and lips of coal. Yukta, the Indian classical dancer, wields thick eyeliner and bright crimson lipstick that allow her expressions to be amplified across a stage. Deep rooted journeys of triumph and tribulation are plastered across the surface of my skin — this paradox excites me.

Perhaps I am also drawn to makeup because as I peel back the layers, I am still wholly me. I am still the young girl staring wide-eyed at her reflection, earnestly questioning in an attempt to learn more about the world. Most importantly, I still carry an unflagging vigor to coalesce creativity and activism into palpable change, one brushstroke at a time.

Professional Review by Prepory

This student takes a household item as common as makeup to build a narrative that is as universally accessible as it is unique. This object is inflected with facets of both her personal and cultural identity that give the reader immediate contact with the student’s personality. She takes us on a sweeping journey through her investigation of the world around her, and embarks on a coming-of-age story without losing sight of the essay’s main topic. This student strikes a balance between the narrative and creative writing elements that are integral to successful personal statements. The writer gives us glimpses of insight into her personal development across multiple years, using makeup as a medium for self-reflection and discovery. She masterfully leverages the colors and elements of her makeup collection to craft vivid descriptions, situating imagery as the cornerstone of this essay’s approach and success. She takes up an object so easily tied to consumerism and superficiality and uses it to champion the societal and ethical battles for which she advocates.

We also see that the writer of this essay has a clearly defined voice. While many students struggle with the temptation to elevate their writing through ornamentation, this writer is able to maneuver a vibrant writing style that remains engaging, rhythmic and measured. Through each moment of this essay, we learn what the author cares about: conscious consumerism, creativity, and activism; we also learn how she thinks: curiosily, selflessly, and with feminist undertones. The opening sentences of this essay employ a successful strategy for personal statement writing, rich with adjectives detailing a small scene, that is expanded upon to make a larger commentary about the author and where she stands in society. Last, the student’s essay compliments her larger admissions profile in which the reader learns about years of advocacy, sustainable practices, and intentions to positively impact her community.

Eda's Essay

Potomac Admissions is dedicated to helping students get into the best schools possible. From helping students create a balanced list of colleges to advising them on how to craft memorable, unique personal statements, we make sure that our students present the best possible admissions package. Ask us for a free consultation to find out how we can help!

Successful Harvard Essay: Homeless for Thirteen Years

I sat on my parents’ bed weeping with my head resting on my knees. “Why did you have to do that to me? Why did you have to show me the house and then take it away from me?” Hopelessly, I found myself praying to God realizing it was my last resort.

For years, my family and I found ourselves moving from country to country in hopes of a better future. Factors, such as war and lack of academic opportunities, led my parents to pack their bags and embark on a new journey for our family around the world. Our arduous journey first began in Kuçovë, Albania, then Athens, Greece, and then eventually, Boston, Massachusetts. Throughout those years, although my family always had a roof over our heads, I never had a place I could call “home.”

Instantly, I knew that it was fate that was bringing this house to me.

That night that I prayed to God, my mind raced back to the night I was clicking the delete button on my e-mails, but suddenly stopped when I came upon a listing of the house. It was September 22, 2007 —eight years exactly to the day that my family and I had moved to the United States. Instantly, I knew that it was fate that was bringing this house to me. I remembered visiting that yellow house the next day with my parents and falling in love with it. However, I also remembered the heartbreaking phone call I received later on that week saying that the owners had chosen another family’s offer.

A week after I had prayed to God, I had given up any hopes of my family buying the house. One day after school, I unlocked the door to our one-bedroom apartment and walked over to the telephone only to see it flashing a red light. I clicked PLAY and unexpectedly heard the voice of our real estate agent. “Eda!” she said joyfully. “The deal fell through with the other family—the house is yours! Call me back immediately to get started on the papers.” For a moment, I stood agape and kept replaying the words in my head. Was this really happening to me? Was my dream of owning a home finally coming true?

Over the month of November, I spent my days going to school and immediately rushing home to make phone calls. Although my parents were not fluent enough in English to communicate with the bank and real estate agent, I knew that I was not going to allow this obstacle to hinder my dream of helping to purchase a home for my family. Thus, unlike a typical thirteen-year-old girl’s conversations, my phone calls did not involve the mention of makeup, shoes, or boys. Instead, my conversations were composed of terms, such as “fixed-rate mortgages,” “preapprovals,” and “down payments.” Nevertheless, I was determined to help purchase this home after thirteen years of feeling embarrassed from living in a one-bedroom apartment. No longer was I going to experience feelings of humiliation from not being able to host sleepovers with my friends or from not being able to gossip with girls in school about who had the prettiest room color.

I had been homeless for the first thirteen years of my life. Although I will never be able to fully repay my parents for all of their sacrifices, the least I could do was to help find them a home that they could call their own—and that year, I did. To me, a home means more than the general conception of “four walls and a roof.” A home is a place filled with memories and laughter from my family. No matter where my future may lead me, I know that if at times I feel alone, I will always have a yellow home with my family inside waiting for me.

Professional Review by Potomac Admissions

Honest. Heartbreaking. Powerful.

Those were the first three words that came to mind after reading Eda’s essay.

By being so honest, Eda showcases her genuine growth and maturity over time.

What we love about Eda’s essay is its refreshing vulnerability. Too many college essays are “too” picture-perfect. Eda doesn’t censor the truth, even if admitting her inner thoughts may potentially paint her in a negative light. For example, she starts the entire essay with a scene of her weeping on her parents’ bed, blaming them for her misfortune. By being so honest, Eda showcases her genuine growth and maturity over time.

Her personal voice is also strong throughout the essay. When she talks about falling in love with “that yellow house,” an image of said house is automatically conjured up in our minds. When she speaks of the heartbreak she experienced upon learning “that yellow house” was sold to another family, we felt pain in our hearts too. Her deliberate choice to “PLAY” the voicemail she received for us and include her subsequent internal thoughts further pulls us into reliving her journey with her.

Yet, she goes beyond merely telling us of her journey. She highlights just how atypical her journey has been. Instead of enjoying phone conversations about makeup or shoes, she is talking to agents about fix-rate mortgages and down payments… all at the age of 13. Though she does not explicitly state this (she doesn’t need to): it is clear that Eda has had to grow up fast, becoming a stronger individual as a result.

Her understanding of the word “home” evolves from a physical roof over her head to a more abstract one. Home is wherever her “memories and laughter” exist. In the end, she comes to terms with the sacrifices her parents have made. Learning to be proud of her upbringing showcases Eda’s evolution.

Eda is someone who will overcome whatever challenges thrown her way, making her a strong college applicant.

Lisa's Essay

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Successful Harvard Essay: Playing it Dangerous

In hazy stillness, a sudden flurry of colored skirts, whispers of “Merde!” Sternly, my fingers smooth back my hair, although they know no loose strands will be found. My skin absorbs heat from stage lights above—if only that heat would seep into my brain, denature some proteins, and deactivate the neurons stressing me out. A warm hand, accompanied by an even warmer smile, interrupts my frenzied solitude. I glance up. My lovely teacher nods, coaxing my frozen lips into a thawed smile. A complex figure, filled in with doubt, yet finished with shades of confidence: My body takes its place and waits.

One, two, three, four; two, two, three, four. On stage, the lights and music wash over me. Never having had a true ballet solo before, my lungs are one breath away from hyperventilating. Trying to achieve a Zen-like state, I imagine a field of daisies, yet my palms continue sweating disobediently. It’s not that I’ve never been on stage alone before; I’ve had plenty of piano recitals and competitions. Yet, while both performances consume my mind and soul, ballet demands complete commitment of my body.

I've had plenty of piano recitals and competitions. Yet, while both performances consume my mind and soul, ballet demands complete commitment of my body.

Gently slide into arabesque and lean downward; try not to fall flat on face—Mom’s videotaping. In terms of mentality, I would hardly be described as an introvert; yet, a fear of failure has still kept me from taking risks. Maybe I was scared of leaping too high, falling too far, and hitting the hard floor. As I moved up in the cutthroat world of dance, this fear only increased; the pressure of greater expectations and the specter of greater embarrassment had held me contained. Now, every single eyeball is on me.

Lean extra in this pirouette; it’s more aesthetic. But is it always better to be safe than sorry? Glancing toward the wings, I see my teacher’s wild gesticulations: Stretch your arms out, she seems to mime, More! A genuine smile replaces one of forced enthusiasm; alone on the stage, this is my chance to shine. I breathe in the movements, forget each individual step. More than just imagining, but finally experiencing the jubilation of the music, I allow my splits to stretch across the stage and my steps to extend longer and longer, until I’m no longer safe and my heart is racing. Exhilarated and scared in the best way, I throw myself into my jumps. I no longer need to imagine scenes to get in the mood; the emotions are twirling and leaping within me.

Reaching, stretching, grabbing, flinging ... My fear no longer shields me. I find my old passion for ballet, and remember the grace and poise that can nevertheless convey every color of emotion. Playing it safe will leave me part of the backdrop; only by taking risks can I step into the limelight. Maybe I’ll fall, but the rush is worth it. I’ll captain an all-male science bowl team, run a marathon, audition for a musical, and embrace the physical and intellectual elation of taking risks.

Professional Review by MR. MBA®, Val Misra

Lisa creates a winning essay by successfully invoking real emotions in the reader through her creative, descriptive prose that conveys vivid imagery, heartfelt feelings, and wholesome introspection. I instantly likened Lisa’s allegory to a bird trapped in a closed cage; the cage serves as a metaphor for what we all face in our lives, our fears. Lisa’s first ballet solo is brilliantly illustrated as her ‘Aha! moment’ where she sheds her fears (opens her cage) and, with careful self-reflection, chooses to embrace future risks (flies only forward).

In paragraphs 1-3, Lisa captivates us instantly through her beautiful, rich language and imagery, as she portrays herself immobilized by stress and a fear of failure and family/public opinion. I empathize and want to learn more! Her warm humor shines perfectly: wanting to deactivate her brain neurons and reminding herself not to fall face-first lest she gets scolded by her mother/family - wonderfully done! Lisa uses her “lovely teacher” as her grounding, comfort zone and supporter, a theme many can share. Her anxiety is relatable, and she uses this to explicate her general risk averse nature.

In paragraphs 4-5, Lisa’s solo is radiantly depicted as her defining moment where she dances and realizes her transformation- fears turn to passion and excitement. She is poetry in motion in the moment, smiling, shedding her fears, and embracing risk like a warm glass of milk. A poignant question is posed, “But is it always better to be safe than sorry?” Through introspection, Lisa expresses her desire to pursue risks that will advance her personally. Acknowledging she may not always succeed, “the rush is worth it”. Lisa ends with concrete examples of leadership roles and activities that she will pursue at college- admissions officers favorably view students eager to step outside their comfort zones and embark on new adventures/challenges at college. To make this essay stronger, Lisa could have highlighted precisely how she will tackle any fears that may crop up during new obstacles at college, tying to lessons learned through her ballet.

Superbly written in a distinct narrative form, this essay crafts an experience that is vibrant, funny, deep, and relatable.

Superbly written in a distinct narrative form, this essay crafts an experience that is vibrant, funny, deep, and relatable. Lisa’s brand values seamlessly flow throughout the essay: creativity, determination, overcoming obstacles, self-reflection, growth through risk and, of course, passion! We are left with a glowing lesson in motivation in the hope of ridding oneself of such negative feelings to go on and achieve greater things - ‘playing it dangerous’.

Michelle C.'s Essay

At KEY we take a long-term, strategic approach centered on each individual student’s best interests. Working with our college-bound students beginning in Grade 8, we guide them in establishing a strong foundation of academics to build their unique profiles of co-curricular and extracurricular activities, academic direction, and professional skills. We aspire to give each of our students the best opportunity to thrive within their current education environmentand beyond. For a free consultation about our services and more, please visit: https://www.keyeducation.com/university .

Successful Harvard Essay

“You should scrub off the top layer of your skin whenever you lose a round,” my debate teammate once advised me.

“That’s not practical,” I replied.

“Neither is your refusal to wear clothes you’ve lost important debate rounds in. Your wardrobe has very little to do with your success.”

Half of me disagrees with him. I still bring three BIC Round Stic pencils with 0.7 lead to every test because my gut tells me this fastidious procedure raises my scores. I’m still convinced that labs receive better grades if written in Calibri. And I still won’t rewear clothes in which I’ve lost crucial rounds.

Yet the other half of me is equally dismissive of my own superstitions. I love logic, never failing to check that steps in a proof lead to a precise conclusion without gaps in reasoning.

Fortunately, I often abandon my penchant for pragmatism to accommodate for my unwarranted superstitions. And since I only feel the need to act logicalcally in selective situations, I am perfectly content with the illogical nature of my other habits:

Raised with my great-grandmother, grandparents, and parents all under one roof, I never lacked a consultant to help me transcribe Korean holiday dates from the lunar calendar onto my schedule. Yet whenever all four generations of my family celebrates with a traditional meal of bulgogi, my untraceable and admittedly nonexistent Italian blood flares in protest; I rebelliously cook myself linguine con le vongole that clashes terribly with my mom’s pungent kimchi.

If I plot a graph of “hours I spend in physical activity” versus “week of the year,” the result looks like an irregular cardiac cycle. The upsurges symbolize my battles with colossal walls of water in hopes of catching a smooth surf back to Mission Bay shore. The ensuing period of rest mirrors the hours I spend researching in that one spot in my debate team’s war room that isn’t covered in papers (yet), or at the piano sight-reading the newest Adele song. Then the diastolic tranquility is interrupted by the weekends when I’m sprinting through trenches to avoid paintballs swarming above my favorite arena at Paintball USA.

I find comfort in the familiar. I treasure the regular midnight chats with my brother as we indulge in batter while baking cupcakes for a friend's birthday, keeping our voices hushed

I find comfort in the familiar. I treasure the regular midnight chats with my brother as we indulge in batter while baking cupcakes for a friend’s birthday, keeping our voices hushed to avoid waking our mom and facing her “salmonella is in your near future” lecture. Yet, some of my fondest memories involve talking to people with whom I share nothing in common. Whether my conversations are about the Qatari coach’s research on Kuwait’s female voting patterns, or about the infinite differences between the “common app” and the Oxford interviewing process, or even about my friend’s Swedish school’s peculiar policy of mandating uniforms only on Wednesdays, I love comparing cultures with debaters from different countries.

My behavior is unpredictable. Yet it’s predictably unpredictable. Sure, I’ll never eat a Korean dinner like one might expect. But I’ll always be cooking linguine the moment I catch a whiff of kimchi.

Professional Review by Key Education (Bryan)

Most often, it is the down-to-earth topics that make for the most successful Common App essays. My students have written on subjects as mundane as cleaning, loading the dishwasher, eraser shavings, finding a piece of driftwood, or looking after not one, but two Shiba Inus. And so, it was a delight to read Michelle Choi’s essay. Choi took an idea that the rest of us probably give very little thought to – superstitions – and effectively used it as a focusing lens to explore different parts of her life.

By drawing these connections between seemingly unrelated and different aspects of her life, Choi demonstrated her ability to introspect while giving the reader a richer picture of who she is. Choi is not just another high achiever. Her superstitions – and that ever-present struggle between being logical and superstitious – is what makes her appealing. One can’t help but to like her. As I often remind my students, quirky is cool.

These various connections give the reader insight into what drives Choi as someone who is profoundly curious and quirky, someone who takes a different approach to things.

With Choi’s hook, the reader’s attention is immediately captured. One could be forgiven for probably cringing a little at the thought of scrubbing off a layer of one’s own skin. And besides that, what was Choi even going on about? Her opening compels the reader to want to keep on reading. Very early on in her essay, we know that debating is a core part of her identity. As she guides the reader through the rest of her essay, she skillfully connects her superstitions to other important aspects of her life, including her cultural heritage, family, surfing, music, paintball, baking, conversations with random strangers, and examinations of different cultures around the world. These various connections give the reader insight into what drives Choi as someone who is profoundly curious and quirky, someone who takes a different approach to things, whether it be intentionally combining Korean and Italian cuisine (I picture the likes of Gordon Ramsay already shuddering at the clash of flavors) to playing pop on the piano (perhaps a refreshingly different take than Mozart or Beethoven).

If I could offer one suggestion, it would be that after reading Choi’s essay, I was craving a little more. Perhaps she could have expanded slightly: what did she learn from this process of being unconventional? How did it influence the way she saw the world and influenced her actions? And in what ways did she apply this learning? That said, even with her essay, Choi does what many other students don’t with their Common App essay; she takes that a unique approach using a down-to-earth topic as a focusing lens to draw connections to various parts of her life.

Tony's Essay

As an admission essay specialist , Dan Lichterman has been empowering students to find their voice since 2004. He helps students stand out on paper, eliminating the unnecessary so the necessary may speak. Drawing upon his storytelling background, Dan guides applicants to craft authentic essays that leap off the page. He is available for online writing support within the US and internationally. To learn more and schedule a brief complimentary consultation visit danlichterman.com.

Successful Harvard Essay: Beauty in Complexity

Gazing up at the starry sky, I see Cygnus, Hercules, and Pisces, remnants of past cultures. I listen to waves crash on the beach, the forces of nature at work. Isn’t it odd how stars are flaming spheres and electrical impulses make beings sentient? The very existence of our world is a wonder; what are the odds that this particular planet developed all the necessary components, parts that all work in unison, to support life? How do they interact? How did they come to be? I thought back to how my previously simplistic mind-set evolved this past year.

The very existence of our world is a wonder; what are the odds that this particular planet developed all the necessary components, parts that all work in unison, to support life?

At Balboa, juniors and seniors join one of five small learning communities, which are integrated into the curriculum. Near the end of sophomore year, I ranked my choices: Law Academy first—it seemed the most prestigious—and WALC, the Wilderness Arts and Literacy Collaborative, fourth. So when I was sorted into WALC, I felt disappointed at the inflexibility of my schedule and bitter toward my classes. However, since students are required to wait at least a semester before switching pathways, I stayed in WALC. My experiences that semester began shifting my ambition-oriented paradigm to an interest-oriented one. I didn’t switch out.

Beyond its integrated classes, WALC takes its students on trips to natural areas not only to build community among its students, but also to explore complex natural processes and humanity’s role in them. Piecing these lessons together, I create an image of our universe. I can visualize the carving of glacial valleys, the creation and gradation of mountains by uplift and weathering, and the transportation of nutrients to and from ecosystems by rivers and salmon. I see these forces on the surface of a tiny planet rotating on its axis and orbiting the sun, a gem in this vast universe. Through WALC, I have gained an intimate understanding of natural systems and an addiction to understanding the deep interconnections embedded in our cosmos.

Understanding a system’s complex mechanics not only satisfies my curiosity, but also adds beauty to my world; my understanding of tectonic and gradational forces allows me to appreciate mountains and coastlines beyond aesthetics. By physically going to the place described in WALC’s lessons, I have not only gained the tools to admire these systems, but have also learned to actually appreciate them. This creates a thirst to see more beauty in a world that’s filled with poverty and violence, and a hunger for knowledge to satisfy that thirst. There are so many different systems to examine and dissect—science alone has universal, planetary, molecular, atomic, and subatomic scales to investigate. I hope to be able to find my interests by taking a variety of courses in college, and further humanity’s understanding through research, so that all can derive a deeper appreciation for the complex systems that govern this universe.

Professional Review by Dan Lichterman

Tony’s essay opens with stargazing at the ocean’s edge where we experience his boundless curiosity towards the natural world, sentience, and life itself. This wide-eyed wonderment is rendered artfully, yet what actually enables this essay to succeed is its ability to ponder deep concepts without getting lost in the clouds.

The story itself revolves around an event that seems far removed from the incomprehensibility of the universe: a randomized selection has assigned Tony to study wilderness arts when he preferred the path of law. He is bitter that a decision impacting his studies has been determined by chance. We see vulnerability in his admission that he was beholden to an “ambition oriented paradigm,” rather than studying what interested him most. However, what we discover through the rest of the essay is that Tony’s decision to remain in wilderness arts is one that has transformed him completely, changing his perspective from a “simplistic mindset” to one that is addicted to “understanding the deep interconnections embedded in our cosmos.”

The strength of Tony's language helps us appreciate the breadth and excitement of his unforseen awakening.

The strength of Tony’s language helps us appreciate the breadth and excitement of his unforseen awakening. From visualizing the “carving of glacial valleys” to reveling in the complex mechanics of natural systems, the essay showcases how much more Tony appreciates our world thanks to an event that had once seemed unfairly arbitrary. Observing Tony’s thirst for life’s interconnectedness, we grow confident that his evolving perspective will guide his studies into exciting unexpected realms.

Yueming's Essay

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My Ye-Ye always wears a red baseball cap. I think he likes the vivid color—bright and sanguine, like himself. When Ye-Ye came from China to visit us seven years ago, he brought his red cap with him and every night for six months, it sat on the stairway railing post of my house, waiting to be loyally placed back on Ye-Ye’s head the next morning. He wore the cap everywhere: around the house, where he performed magic tricks with it to make my little brother laugh; to the corner store, where he bought me popsicles before using his hat to wipe the beads of summer sweat off my neck. Today whenever I see a red hat, I think of my Ye-Ye and his baseball cap, and I smile.

Ye-Ye is the Mandarin word for “grandfather.” My Ye-Ye is a simple, ordinary person—not rich, not “successful”—but he is my greatest source of inspiration and I idolize him. Of all the people I know, Ye-Ye has encountered the most hardship and of all the people I know, Ye-Ye is the most joyful. That these two aspects can coexist in one individual is, in my mind, truly remarkable.

Ye-Ye was an orphan. Both his parents died before he was six years old, leaving him and his older brother with no home and no family. When other children gathered to read around stoves at school, Ye-Ye and his brother walked in the bitter cold along railroad tracks, looking for used coal to sell. When other children ran home to loving parents, Ye-Ye and his brother walked along the streets looking for somewhere to sleep. Eight years later, Ye-Ye walked alone—his brother was dead.

Ye-Ye managed to survive, and in the meanwhile taught himself to read, write, and do arithmetic. Life was a blessing, he told those around him with a smile.

Years later, Ye-Ye’s job sent him to the Gobi Desert, where he and his fellow workers labored for twelve hours a day. The desert wind was merciless; it would snatch their tent in the middle of the night and leave them without supply the next morning. Every year, harsh weather took the lives of some fellow workers.

After eight years, Ye-Ye was transferred back to the city where his wife lay sick in bed. At the end of a twelve-hour workday, Ye-Ye took care of his sick wife and three young children. He sat with the children and told them about the wide, starry desert sky and mysterious desert lives. Life was a blessing, he told them with a smile.

But life was not easy; there was barely enough money to keep the family from starving. Yet, my dad and his sisters loved going with Ye-Ye to the market. He would buy them little luxuries that their mother would never indulge them in: a small bag of sunflower seeds for two cents, a candy each for three cents. Luxuries as they were, Ye-Ye bought them without hesitation. Anything that could put a smile on the children’s faces and a skip in their steps was priceless.

He would buy them little luxuries that their mother would never indulge them in: a small bag of sunflower seeds for two cents, a candy each for three cents.

Ye-Ye still goes to the market today. At the age of seventy-eight, he bikes several kilometers each week to buy bags of fresh fruits and vegetables, and then bikes home to share them with his neighbors. He keeps a small patch of strawberries and an apricot tree. When the fruit is ripe, he opens his gate and invites all the children in to pick and eat. He is Ye-Ye to every child in the neighborhood.

I had always thought that I was sensible and self-aware. But nothing has made me stare as hard in the mirror as I did after learning about the cruel past that Ye-Ye had suffered and the cheerful attitude he had kept throughout those years. I thought back to all the times when I had gotten upset. My mom forgot to pick me up from the bus station. My computer crashed the day before an assignment was due. They seemed so trivial and childish, and I felt deeply ashamed of myself.

Now, whenever I encounter an obstacle that seems overwhelming, I think of Ye-Ye; I see him in his red baseball cap, smiling at me. Like a splash of cool water, his smile rouses me from grief, and reminds me how trivial my worries are and how generous life has been. Today I keep a red baseball cap at the railing post at home where Ye-Ye used to put his every night. Whenever I see the cap, I think of my Ye-Ye, smiling in his red baseball cap, and I smile. Yes, Ye-Ye. Life is a blessing.

Professional Review by Crimson Education

Yueming’s essay is the perfect example of an application essay that does exactly what it’s supposed to do: it fills out the picture of who Yueming is and allows the admissions committee to learn things about him that are not contained in the rest of his application. Yueming uses the story of his Ye-Ye’s baseball cap to show the reader what is important to him and to demonstrate key personality traits that he’d contribute to life on campus.

Yueming uses the story of his Ye-Ye's baseball cap to show the reader what is important to him and to demonstrate key personality traits

Even though most of the text is devoted to Ye-Ye’s biography, the essay is not just about him. Ye-Ye’s whole story is a prelude to the final paragraphs, which reveal the most important aspects of Yueming’s personality. Just like in life, our ancestors’ past is a prelude to a future generation’s history, which is still emerging. This subtle parallel, unnoticeable at first glance, allows the reader to understand the profound development of Yueming’s personality and his talent for looking deeper into the essence of things.

Yueming shows his ability to learn from the experience of others, and he highlights his own resilience and the positive mindset he gained from Ye-Ye. These qualities are undoubtedly essential for a future Harvard student and demonstrate his ability to embody “life is a blessing” on campus and beyond.

Charles' Essay

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James was not fitting in with everyone else. During lunch, he sat alone, playing with his own toys. During group activities, the other campers always complained when paired with him. What was wrong? As camp counselor, I quietly observed his behavior—nothing out of the ordinary. I just couldn’t fathom why the other campers treated him like a pariah.

After three days of ostracism, James broke down during a game of soccer. Tears streaming down his cheeks, he slumped off the field, head in his hands. I jogged toward him, my forehead creased with concern. Some campers loudly remarked, “Why is that creep crying?” Furious indignation leaped into my heart. They were the ones who “accidentally” bumped into him and called him “James the Freak.” It was their cruelty that caused his meltdown, and now they were mocking him for it. I sharply told them to keep their thoughts to themselves. I squatted beside James and asked him what was wrong. Grunting, he turned his back to me. I had to stop his tears, and I had to make him feel comfortable. So for the next hour, I talked about everything a seven-year-old boy might find interesting, from sports to Transformers.

I had to stop his tears, and I had to make him feel comfortable. So for the next hour, I talked about everything a seven-year-old boy might find interesting, from sports to Transformers.

“I have a question,” I asked as James began to warm to me. I took a deep breath and dove right into the problem. “Why do the other campers exclude you?” Hesitantly, he took off his shoes and socks, and pointed at his left foot. One, two, three … four. He had four toes. We had gone swimming two days before: All the campers must have noticed. I remembered my childhood, when even the smallest abnormality—a bad haircut, a missing tooth—could cause others, including myself, to shrink away. I finally understood.

But what could I do to help? I scoured my mind for the words to settle his demons. But nothing came to me. Impulsively, I hugged him—a gesture of intimacy we camp leaders were encouraged not to initiate, and an act I later discovered no friend had ever offered James before. Then, I put my hand on his shoulder and looked him straight in the eyes. I assured him that external features didn’t matter, and that as long as he was friendly, people would eventually come around. I listed successful individuals who had not been hindered by their abnormalities. And finally, I told him he would always be my favorite camper, regardless of whether he had two, five, or a hundred toes.

On the last day of camp, I was jubilant—James was starting to fit in. Although the teasing had not completely disappeared, James was speaking up and making friends. And when, as we were saying our good-byes, James gave me one last hug and proclaimed that I was his “bestest friend in the whole wide world,” my heart swelled up. From my campers, I learned that working with children is simply awesome. And from James, I learned that a little love truly goes a long way.

Professional Review by College Confidential

Charles Wong takes the all too common experience of watching someone be excluded and explains how he combats it. In his personal account of being a camp counselor, Charles not only communicates that he cares deeply for others, but also displays his thought process for how he solves problems in general. Instead of just declaring these personal characteristics, he shows them through a personal account. The pointed decision to “show” not “tell” is an excellent essay tactic.

Charles not only communicates that he cares deeply for others, but also displays his thought process for how he solves problems in general.

First, Charles begins with his description of the situation. His tone is casual and straightforward. He incorporates crucial details, but his writing is not superfluous. His essay is concise and easy to follow. While this approach may seem to lack sophistication, it reflects Charle’s raw, real thoughts. The reader can feel his concern; Charles walks us through his genuine dilemma. Additionally, the acts of kindness he describes—the pep talks, the hugs—offer insight into his character. The decision to include these details paint Charles as a kind and bright personality, something of value on any college campus.

Moreover, Charles does more than just describe how he solved this particular problem, but expands it to life in general. He grasps meaning from a seemingly mundane experience and explains how it changed his entire mindset. This ability to consciously grow suggests Charles’s drive to to learn from all life has to offer; he is a student in more than just the classroom.

Sean's Essay

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I have always envied the butterfly.

Its graceful poise as it glides through the air; the blissful flutter of its wings as it courageously embarks upon life’s journeys. Its ambitious and adaptive nature — a change-maker and discoverer, a trendsetter in the animal world, a leader amongst other species. Charles Darwin said, “it is not the strongest of species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one most adaptable to change.” I envy the butterfly’s adaptive approach to change, making them the silent leaders of the animal kingdom.

It was at age nine, on a family trip to the Boston Museum of Science, that I was first drawn to the breathtaking butterfly. As I stepped into the butterfly’s endless capsule of nature, the flamboyant and audacious nature of the butterfly was captivating — their vibrant colors flaunted proud and shame-free, central to their persona but not defining of their personality. Their extraordinary courage in self-expression brought a little boy great inspiration. As someone who has questioned and struggled with my identity and accepting my queerness throughout life, the butterfly exemplified what it meant to be bold, courageous, and proud to a young boy who was lacking in all of those.

The butterfly exemplified what it meant to be bold, courageous, and proud to a young boy who was lacking in all of those.

I vividly recall one butterfly standing out among its comrades. Being an uncreative third-grader, I named my new friend Bloo due to his radiant cerulean shades descending from darkness to light as they progressed from the wing’s base. I watched Bloo soar, using his wings to glide far above the dainty and fragile stereotypes placed on him by society. I admire the profound growth Bloo must have achieved to get here, at one point a timid and powerless inchworm evolved into a carefully-crafted canvas of power. Bloo exemplified the strength and pride that I needed to begin accepting my identity. Looking back on this brief encounter with Bloo, I recall how he taught an insecure child self-acceptance. From here, I began to internalize the butterfly’s power. I began to molt into a new skin with fledgling wings.

As I progressed through life with these newly-discovered wings, I became increasingly drawn to observing butterflies in nature. They have proven much more than just precious gems found amongst clouds or prize trophies for kindergarteners to catch in their nets. The butterfly has shown itself as the hidden alpha of the animal kingdom — a leader and trendsetter amongst organisms both small and large, a fearless change-maker enabling them to outsurvive the rest for the past fifty-six million years.

With the wings and strength of the butterfly latched to my shoulders, I proudly embraced the challenge posed by this delicate yet powerful creature — to be a leader and a change-maker. Recognizing many social injustices in my community, I was inspired by the butterfly to become a voice of change. Driven by the butterfly’s creativity, I developed a social justice discussion program to take place at my high school, and became a local leader and fighter against corrupt politics in the 2020 election cycle. Bloo reminds me that time moves quickly and I must never settle nor lose focus in the crusade for justice. I hope to use this fragile time to advocate for equality in medicine, combining my passion for science with advocacy to leave a lasting legacy.

Today, the lessons taught by the butterfly are never far from my mind, whether I'm sitting in my English classroom discussing Beowulf, dreading the prospect of my upcoming integral exam, or even studying Darwin in Biology.

All these years later, as I ponder my defining characteristics and core values, I recognize that it is my time to become the butterfly — to embody Darwin’s words and face life with the courage to create change as I break free from my cocoon and enter the long-awaited adult world.

Professional Review by HS2 Academy

This piece is quite touching, as it deftly crafts a delicate and nuanced picture of Sean’s lifelong connection with the butterfly. It is playful (“my new friend Bloo”) while also profoundly introspective. It starts out effectively with a thought-provoking hook. After all, how many people would think to envy a butterfly? But the essay quickly picks up pace and shows how the butterfly truly is a perfect symbol for Sean’s own metamorphosis into a true leader and agent of change.

The essay works on so many levels because it utilizes an extended metaphor that aptly describes many parallels with Sean's life.

The essay works on so many levels because it utilizes an extended metaphor that aptly describes many parallels with Sean’s life. Oftentimes, many college essays utilize figurative language, but the connection with the narrative of that student’s life tends to be rather superficial. The idea of a butterfly emerging from a cocoon may seem a bit cliche as an image of a student’s transformation, but Sean’s essay goes deeper, in part because of a parallel with Sean’s own struggles with their queer identity. Phrases like using his wings to “glide far above the dainty and fragile stereotypes placed on him by society” powerfully capture Sean’s own journey from an insecure child to an advocate for social justice and equality in medicine.

We learn that Sean has truly found inspiration in the butterfly, rising above struggles with self-identity to become a principled leader with a genuine desire to fight injustice. The qualities Sean demonstrates—determination over adversity, passion for equality and justice—would be a welcome addition to any college community.

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Can I Talk About Politics on My College Applications?

What’s covered:, why is talking about politics not recommended, where can you mention politics in your application, how not to talk about politics in your application, how to effectively talk about politics in your application, where to get your essays edited.

For students interested in politics and government, you are told two conflicting pieces of information when it comes to college applications: talk about your interests and avoid politics. But if you avoid discussing politics, how will you show colleges what you are passionate about? 

We are here to make sense of this sticky situation and hopefully release you from the double bind politics can create. This post will explain when you can talk about politics in your application and how you should, and shouldn’t, go about it.

The general advice to avoid politics in college applications stems from the idea that you don’t want to offend anyone with your application. Politics is a charged topic that many people have strict opinions on, and although admission officers are supposed to be unbiased, they are still human and no one wants to feel like their ideals are being challenged. 

As a student, you have no idea who will read your application, so you have no way of knowing that person’s political beliefs. You might have liberal-leaning views on topics like gun reform and reproductive rights, but the admissions officer on the other side of your application might feel totally different. Even mentioning touchy subjects without discussing your opinion, like election losses or Supreme Court decisions, might trigger your readers and negatively impact how they perceive you.

It’s also recommended to avoid politics because institutions as a whole can have cultures that align with specific political ideologies. For example, liberal arts colleges are known for being more progressive and left-leaning, while some religious universities are aligned with more conservative values. It’s incredibly important to do your research before starting your application to gauge the culture of the school you are considering.

All that being said, don’t automatically assume you can write about how great the Democratic party is if you are applying to a liberal arts college. Just because a college has a reputation for a certain political affiliation does not mean each individual admissions officer identifies with that view. 

With all the traps you can fall into, we normally recommend steering clear of the topic. However, if politics is an essential part of who you are, take these recommendations with a grain of salt and learn how to write about politics in an effective, non-offensive way.

There are two main places in your application where politics will come up: your activities and your essays. You will never be directly asked about your political beliefs or party affiliation, so it would only come up on your application if you write about it in these two sections.

In the activities section, you can include political extracurriculars you are involved with. If you were the president of the Young Democrats/Young Republicans club at your school or the social media manager for a state representative, you should include those activities with pride. Don’t worry about hiding them at the bottom of your application; if they were your most impressive and most important extracurriculars, give them the attention they deserve.

Essays are the other place you can discuss politics because it allows you to expand on your passions. You could use your involvement with politics in a variety of essays, including your personal statement, community involvement topics, and extracurricular topics. However, you might encounter a topic about political and global issues , and in this case, you are welcome to—and expected—to discuss politics.

Stating Your Beliefs Without Providing Context to Your Life

Your political beliefs didn’t just appear out of nowhere—they were shaped and have evolved over years of life experience. Colleges care way more about the life experiences that shaped you and led you to hold your views than what the views are themselves. 

If you are talking about politics and just tell us what you believe without explaining why that’s the case, it could alienate your readers who disagree with your position. But, providing perspective on the experiences that shaped your opinion will make it easier for people with different beliefs to empathize and appreciate where you are coming from.

For example, writing about how you hate guns and think they should be banned in your essay might not go over well with your audience who holds a different view on guns. However, if you explain the mental strain of lockdown drills and the constant anxiety you feel because you grew up hearing about school shootings, your readers will be more understanding of why you have that view.

Describing a Politician’s Beliefs in Detail

When you are explaining the work you did on a campaign or as a politician’s assistant, don’t tell us what that politician’s political views are. Your college application is about you, not a politician, so no one needs to hear about their views on immigration, the work they’ve done to expand rights, or the bills they have sponsored and passed. Talk about the work you did, for example writing memos, sitting in on town hall meetings, and answering constituent questions.

The one exception to this is if you chose to work with a specific politician because of a specific issue they fight for that connects to you. If you volunteered with a politician working on expanding Green Card access because you come from a family of immigrants, then it’s okay. Just keep the focus largely on your background and connection to the topic, rather on the work the politician is doing.

Openly Trashing Other Viewpoints

This should be pretty self-explanatory, but don’t outwardly criticize and demonize opposing political beliefs. Going back to the points made before, you never know who will read your application and you don’t want to offend them. It goes back to the saying from kindergarten: if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it.

Lying About Your Stance

If you really want to attend a school where your political beliefs clash with the general culture of the school, don’t lie just to fit in. Students might be tempted to say their views align with the overall vibe of the school, but no good can come from lying on your application. 

Even when a school has a reputation for leaning towards one political ideology or the other, admissions officers want to create a class of diverse perspectives, so you don’t need to conform perfectly to the average student to gain admission.

Focus on Your Involvement Rather than Your Beliefs

When it comes to describing political extracurriculars, either in the activities section or your essays, the focus should be on your involvement, achievements, and lessons learned.

When writing about your work with the Young Democrats, say how you “ Organized annual voter registration drives where over 150 students registered for the upcoming election, ” rather than how you were “ Part of a club that promoted Democratic perspectives on topics like abortion, immigration, and the economy. ”

Treat your political extracurriculars like any other—you wouldn’t describe each soccer drill in depth, instead you would explain how you demonstrate leadership by carefully picking drills based on each player’s weakness. Use your involvement with politics to highlight your character and accomplishments, but don’t dwell on the nitty-gritty details of your beliefs.

Be Open-Minded to Different Perspectives

People tend to be very polarized on certain political topics which makes it difficult to discuss issues rationally. Having an open mind and being willing to hear new perspectives is not only an invaluable skill for future politicians, but any productive citizen. You want to demonstrate in your application that although you might hold certain beliefs, you are always committed to learning and engaging in productive debate to expand your perspective.

Align With the School’s Culture (As Best You Can)

As we mentioned before, each college has its own unique culture that you should take into account when discussing politics. If you are applying to a school like BYU, a Mormon-sponsored institution, you should probably avoid taking a strong pro-LGBTQ stance in your application.

If politics are an important topic to you and you feel like the school you are applying to requires you to censor yourself, you should reconsider whether that school is a good fit for you. If you still want to attend, you can frame your political stances in a way to minimize the gap between your viewpoint and that of the school. You can also consider discussing a political issue that’s more economic than social, as economic issues tend to be less contentious.

Avoid Racism, Sexism, and Bigotism of Any Kind!

Racist, sexist, homophobic, or any other type of bigoted comments on your application are not okay and should never be included under any circumstances. Regardless of your personal views or those of the politician you worked for, avoid anything that could be perceived as offensive. Including anything along these lines is the easiest way for you to get your application immediately rejected.

To make sure that you’re talking about politics in a way that is respectful and productive, you will want to get your essays edited by others. That’s why we created our Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. Since they don’t know you personally, they can be a more objective judge of whether your personality shines through, and whether you’ve fully answered the prompt. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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What are some essay topics to avoid?

Earlier this year I had some struggles with my mental health that affected my grades. I have since recovered from my condition but how else can I explain the slight downward trend to colleges? It’s either I tell colleges about my struggles and have the possibility of getting rejected or leaving this detail out of my essays and have an inexplicable downward trend in my grades. What should I do? Should I not write about my mental health?

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College Essay

Essay guide

Essay examples, what is a college essay.

The endeavor to write a college essay embodies a pivotal facet of the college admissions process, serving as a medium through which prospective students showcase their distinctive intellectual and personal attributes. Fundamentally, a college essay is an academically oriented piece of writing, tailored to encapsulate and convey the essence of the student's individuality, experiences, and perspectives. This particular form of essay not only facilitates a profound introspection but also enables students to articulate their narratives in a manner that resonates with the ethos of their chosen academic institutions.

At its core, the definition of a college essay extends beyond a mere academic exercise; it is an amalgamation of storytelling, personal reflection, and scholarly rigor. The essay offers a unique opportunity for applicants to transcend beyond quantitative metrics, such as grades and test scores, providing a holistic view of their character. It is an avenue where eloquence intermingles with authenticity, allowing students to present their aspirations, challenges, triumphs, and life lessons. In essence, the college essay is a confluence of the writer's voice and academic potential, a narrative that intertwines personal growth with intellectual curiosity.

In crafting a college essay, students are often encouraged to delve into themes that are reflective of their personal journey, be it through anecdotes that illustrate their resilience, creativity, leadership, or empathy. The essay should not merely list achievements but rather illuminate the qualities that render the student a valuable addition to the college community. It is an exercise in introspection and articulation, demanding a balance between narrative flair and substantive content.

To encapsulate, the college essay stands as a critical component in the tapestry of college admissions, offering a window into the student's soul. It is not just an academic document, but a testament of a young individual's journey and potential, poised at the cusp of their academic and personal exploration.

What is the Purpose of a College Essay?

The purpose of a college essay transcends mere academic formality and delves into the realm of personal expression and intellectual demonstration. It serves as a crucial juncture in the college application process, providing a canvas for students to paint a vivid portrait of their persona, beyond the quantitative confines of test scores and academic transcripts. The college essay is a conduit through which students can convey their unique perspectives, experiences, values, and aspirations to the admissions committee.

In essence, the college essay embodies a multifaceted tool, designed to fulfill several objectives. Firstly, it offers students the opportunity to exhibit their writing prowess – an essential skill in the academe. Effective communication, the ability to construct coherent arguments, and the skill to present ideas succinctly and persuasively are all evaluated through this essay. Secondly, the essay acts as a mirror reflecting the student's critical thinking, problem-solving, and creative abilities. It is an arena where analytical and imaginative faculties are harmoniously displayed.

Another vital aspect of the college essay meaning is its role in revealing the individual behind the application. It provides a glimpse into the student's background, highlighting the formative experiences that have shaped their character and worldview. Be it through narrating personal challenges, triumphs, or simple yet profound life moments, the essay breathes life into the application, transforming it from a collection of data into a story of a human being with hopes, dreams, and potential.

Furthermore, the college essay allows students to demonstrate their fit and alignment with the ethos of the institution they aspire to join. It is a strategic platform to express their understanding of and compatibility with the college's values, culture, and academic environment. By articulating how their goals and ethos resonate with that of the institution, students can position themselves as valuable additions to the college community.

In summation, the purpose of a college essay is manifold: it is a testament to a student's academic and communicative skills, a window into their unique personality and life experiences, and a declaration of their compatibility with their prospective educational institution. Far from being a mere academic requirement, the college essay is a pivotal element that bridges the gap between a student's past achievements and future academic ambitions.

How to Start a College Essay

Embarking upon the journey to write my college essay about a chosen topic necessitates a strategic approach, one that intertwines creativity with methodical planning. The initial phase of composing a college essay is arguably the most crucial, setting the tone and direction for the entire narrative. Here, we delve into how to write a college essay step by step, offering guidance to navigate this pivotal process.

The first step is the selection of a compelling topic. This is a critical decision, as it lays the foundation for your essay. A well-chosen topic should not only resonate with your personal experiences and perspectives but should also be intriguing enough to engage the reader. Consider topics that allow you to showcase your depth of thought, your unique insights, or a particular aspect of your character. This could be a transformative experience, a significant challenge you overcame, or a passion that drives you.

Upon settling on a topic, begin with a brainstorming session. This is a time for unfettered thought, where you allow your ideas to flow freely without the constraints of structure or precision. Jot down all thoughts, memories, and observations related to your topic, however tangential they may seem. Through this process, you may discover unexpected connections or insights that can enrich your essay.

The next step involves crafting a compelling opening. The introduction of your essay serves as the gateway to your narrative, drawing the reader into your world. Start with a hook – a striking statement, a provocative question, or a vivid scene – something that immediately captures the reader's attention. This should be followed by a brief overview of what your essay will explore, setting up the premise and the tone of your narrative.

Once the stage is set with an engaging introduction, proceed to construct a clear and coherent structure for your essay. An effective structure typically includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph should focus on a specific aspect or anecdote related to your topic, building upon each other to create a cohesive narrative. Ensure that your essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next, maintaining a logical progression of thoughts.

In the body of your essay, delve into the details of your story or argument. This is where you expand on your ideas, providing depth and context. Use vivid descriptions, personal anecdotes, and relevant examples to illustrate your points. It's important to balance storytelling with introspection – reflect on the significance of your experiences and how they have shaped your perspectives and ambitions.

Finally, conclude your essay by tying together all the threads of your narrative. The conclusion should not merely restate what has been said; instead, it should offer a final insight or a reflective note, leaving a lasting impression on the reader. This is your opportunity to underscore the central message of your essay and to highlight how your experiences have prepared you for the challenges and opportunities of a college education.

In summary, starting a college essay involves a thoughtful selection of a topic, a creative and engaging introduction, a well-structured narrative body, and a reflective conclusion. By following these steps, you can craft an essay that not only adheres to academic standards but also vividly conveys your unique voice and story.

Creating a College Essay Structure

The structure of a college essay is a fundamental aspect that dictates the flow and coherence of the content. A well-structured essay enables the writer to effectively communicate their ideas, ensuring that each segment contributes to the overarching narrative. This structure typically comprises three main components: the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

College Essay Introduction

The task to write an introduction paragraph for a college essay is akin to a craftsman meticulously laying the cornerstone for a building. The introduction sets the tone for the essay and piques the reader's interest. It begins with a hook - an intriguing statement, a question, or an anecdote that captivates the reader's attention. Following this, a brief contextualization of the topic is presented, outlining the background information necessary for understanding the forthcoming discussion. The introduction culminates in a thesis statement, a succinct encapsulation of the essay's main argument or narrative focus, effectively setting the trajectory for the subsequent discourse.

College Essay Body Paragraphs

Each body paragraph for a college essay functions as a building block in the construction of the essay's argument or narrative. A typical body paragraph commences with a topic sentence, which introduces the central idea of the paragraph. This is followed by supporting details, which may include evidence, examples, or personal anecdotes, elaborating and substantiating the presented idea. Critical analysis and reflection are integral here, as they demonstrate the student's ability to engage with the topic thoughtfully and critically. It is essential for these paragraphs to maintain a clear and logical flow, with each idea seamlessly leading to the next, thereby ensuring the essay's overall cohesion and coherence.

College Essay Conclusion

Understanding how to end a college essay is crucial in leaving a lasting impression on the reader. The conclusion serves as the culmination of the essay, synthesizing the main points and reaffirming the thesis statement. It should not introduce new information; rather, it should reflect on the presented arguments or narratives, drawing broader implications or insights. The closing sentences ought to resonate with the reader, echoing the core themes of the essay and providing a sense of closure. A well-crafted conclusion will leave the reader with a clear understanding of the essay's significance and its contribution to the writer's personal and intellectual growth.

In summary, the structure of a college essay is a critical element that ensures the clear presentation and effective communication of ideas. A strong introduction, coherent body paragraphs, and a reflective conclusion work in unison to create an impactful and persuasive narrative or argument.

Best Tips for Writing a College Essay

Embarking on the journey of crafting a college essay can be a formidable task, yet with the right approach and guidance, it can transform into an enlightening and rewarding experience. To aid in this endeavor, we will explore essential tips for writing a college essay, focusing on what makes an essay not only acceptable but exemplary.

One of the foundational tips is understanding what should a college essay include. A college essay should be a reflection of your personal narrative, intellectual curiosity, and readiness for the academic rigors of college. It should encompass the following elements:

• Clarity of Thought: Your essay should articulate your ideas clearly and concisely. Avoid overcomplicated sentences that might obscure your point. The goal is to convey your message in a straightforward, yet engaging manner.
• Originality: The essay is an opportunity to showcase your unique perspective. Avoid clichés and common narratives. Instead, focus on what sets you apart from other applicants.
• Personal Insights: Colleges are interested in who you are, not just what you have achieved. Include introspective reflections that reveal your character, values, and how your experiences have shaped you.
• Relevance: Ensure that all parts of your essay contribute towards building a coherent story. Each paragraph should support or expand upon the central theme or argument.
• Engaging Introduction: The opening of your essay should capture the reader's attention. An anecdote, a provocative question, or an intriguing statement can be effective.
• Well-Structured Narrative: A clear and logical structure is key to a successful essay. This includes a compelling introduction, informative body paragraphs, and a conclusive ending that ties everything together.
• Reflective Conclusion: The conclusion should provide more than just a summary. It should offer insight, reflect on the significance of the narrative, and leave a lasting impression.

In addition to these content elements, pay attention to the stylistic aspects of your essay:

• Language and Tone: Use a tone that is true to your voice. Be professional, yet conversational. Avoid overly formal language, but maintain a level of sophistication.
• Proofreading: Grammatical errors and typos can detract from the quality of your essay. Thoroughly proofread your essay, and consider having a teacher or mentor review it as well.
• Adherence to Guidelines: Respect any guidelines provided by the college, including word limits and specific questions or prompts.

Finally, remember that writing a college essay is a process of self-discovery and expression. It should not only demonstrate your abilities as a writer but also illuminate your personality and aspirations. By following these tips and investing your time and thought into the process, you can craft an essay that is authentic, compelling, and memorable.

College Essay Topics & Ideas

What are the best college essay topics for students.

In the realm of academia, the selection of good college essay topics is a critical step that can set the trajectory for a student's written discourse, providing a foundation upon which compelling narratives and insightful analyses are built. When considering college essay ideas for university applications, it is imperative to choose topics that not only resonate with the student's personal experiences and intellectual interests but also have the potential to engage and enlighten the reader. Here, we shall explore a variety of college essay ideas for students that encapsulate both the breadth and depth of subjects suitable for this scholarly endeavor.

When selecting a topic, students should consider aspects that allow them to showcase their depth of thinking, emotional maturity, and unique perspectives. Here are some categories and examples of topics that students might find inspiring:

• Personal Growth and Challenges: Essays that reflect on personal challenges, failures, and the lessons learned from these experiences can be profoundly impactful. Topics might include overcoming a significant obstacle, learning to deal with failure, or the journey of self-discovery.
• Cultural and Social Identity: Exploring one's cultural, social, or family heritage can provide insightful perspectives. Topics in this category may include the impact of cultural traditions, experiences of cultural assimilation, or the influence of one's family background on their worldview.
• Intellectual Curiosity: Topics that demonstrate a student's passion for learning, a particular subject, or intellectual pursuit can be highly engaging. This could range from a fascination with a specific scientific phenomenon to the exploration of a philosophical question.
• Community and Service: Essays focusing on a student's engagement with their community or commitment to service highlight empathy and social responsibility. Potential topics include volunteering experiences, community projects, or initiatives to address social issues.
• Creative and Artistic Pursuits: For students with a bent towards the arts, topics related to their creative processes, inspirations, and the role of art in their lives can be very revealing.
• Leadership and Initiative: Narratives about taking initiative, leadership roles in various contexts, or the development of a project can effectively showcase a student's leadership qualities and ability to effect change.

It is essential for students to remember that the best essays often emerge from seemingly mundane or simple experiences that are imbued with personal significance and are articulated with introspection and authenticity. The topic itself does not have to be grandiose or extraordinary, but the student's perspective and voice should bring a unique lens through which the topic is explored and presented.

In conclusion, when pondering over college essay topics, students should gravitate towards themes that not only interest them but also allow them to articulate their unique stories and viewpoints. The goal is to select a topic that provides a window into the student's personality, values, and potential contributions to the university community.

College Essay Examples

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FAQ about College Essay

First-year applicants: Essays, activities & academics

Rather than asking you to write one long essay, the MIT application consists of several short response questions and essays designed to help us get to know you. Remember that this is not a writing test. Be honest, be open, be authentic—this is your opportunity to connect with us.

You should certainly be thoughtful about your essays, but if you’re thinking too much—spending a lot of time stressing or strategizing about what makes you “look best,” as opposed to the answers that are honest and easy—you’re doing it wrong.

Our questions

For the 2023–2024 application, we’re asking these short answer essay questions:

• What field of study appeals to you the most right now? (Note: Applicants select from a drop-down list.) Tell us more about why this field of study at MIT appeals to you.
• We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it.
• How has the world you come from—including your opportunities, experiences, and challenges—shaped your dreams and aspirations?
• MIT brings people with diverse backgrounds together to collaborate, from tackling the world’s biggest challenges to lending a helping hand. Describe one way you have collaborated with others to learn from them, with them, or contribute to your community together.
• How did you manage a situation or challenge that you didn’t expect? What did you learn from it?

Depending on the question, we’re looking for responses of approximately 100–200 words each. There is also one final, open-ended, additional-information text box where you can tell us anything else you think we really ought to know.

Please use our form, not a resume, to list your activities. There is only enough space to list four things—please choose the four that mean the most to you and tell us a bit about them.

Self-reported Coursework Form

How you fill out this form will not make or break your application, so don’t stress about it. Use your best judgment—we’re simply trying to get a clear picture of your academic preparation by subject area. We see thousands of different transcripts, so it really helps us to view your coursework and grades in a consistent format.

Here are a few quick tips to help you complete this section:

• The self-reported coursework should be completed by students in U.S. school systems only. If you attend an international school, we’ll just use your transcript.
• The information you provide does not replace your official high school transcript, which must be sent to us from your school to verify your self-reported information (in order to avoid accidental misrepresentation, it might help to have a copy of your high school transcript in front of you while completing this form).
• Avoid abbreviations, if at all possible, and enter the names of your school courses by subject area. Please include all classes you have taken and are currently taking. If your courses were taken outside of your high school (at a local junior college or university, for example), tell us where they were taken in the “Class Name” field.
• In the “Grade Received” field, list term and/or final grades for each class, as found on your school transcript (semester, trimester, quarter, final, etc.). Use one entry only per class. For example, it’s not necessary to use a separate entry for each semester of the same class. Place all grades for a class in the same field, separating grades with commas.

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, stanford's acceptance difficulty.

I've always dreamt of going to Stanford, but I'm aware that it's extremely competitive. How hard is it realistically to get into Stanford? Are there any specific qualities or experiences they're looking for in applicants? Thanks in advance!

Getting into Stanford is indeed quite competitive, as it is one of the most selective universities in the United States. The overall acceptance rate hovers around 4%, meaning it is challenging for even the most accomplished students. While there's no guaranteed formula for acceptance, there are certain characteristics that successful applicants to Stanford typically possess.

1. Strong academic performance: A high GPA and challenging courseload throughout high school demonstrate your ability to excel academically. Aim to be in the top percentage of your class and take the most rigorous courses available, such as AP or IB classes.

2. Test scores (if required): While Stanford is currently test-optional for the 2024-2025 application cycle, if you choose to submit scores, make sure they are competitive. Previously, the middle 50% range for SAT scores was 1440 to 1570 and for ACT scores was 32 to 35.

3. Exceptional extracurricular involvement: Stanford looks for students who have dedicated themselves to a few activities, demonstrating leadership, passion, and deep involvement. The most competitive applicants have Tier 1 or Tier 2 extracurriculars (national or state-level achievements). Think about how your activities align with Stanford's values and mission.

4. Unique qualities or experiences: Successful applicants often have a "spike" or a highly-developed specialty in their chosen field, whether it's in academics, sports, research, or arts. This shows that the student has a passion and the potential to make a significant impact in their field.

5. Compelling essays: Your essays should not only showcase your writing skills but also offer insight into who you are as a person. Authenticity and specificity are crucial. Remember to tailor your responses to each prompt, and avoid cliche topics to help make your application stand out.

6. Recommendations: Strong letters of recommendation from teachers, counselors, or other mentors can attest to your character, motivation, and ability to contribute positively to Stanford's community. Make sure your recommenders know you well and can provide personal anecdotes about your achievements, growth, and potential.

While these factors are essential for any competitive university, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to getting into a prestigious institution like Stanford. It's important to be adaptive, understanding that the admissions process is holistic and takes into account multiple aspects of each applicant. Ultimately, focus on cultivating your passion, engaging in activities that align with your interests, and showcasing your unique qualities throughout your application. Good luck!

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

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The Big List of Essay Topics for High School (120+ Ideas!)

Ideas to inspire every young writer!

High school students generally do a lot of writing, learning to use language clearly, concisely, and persuasively. When it’s time to choose an essay topic, though, it’s easy to come up blank. If that’s the case, check out this huge round-up of essay topics for high school. You’ll find choices for every subject and writing style.

• Argumentative Essay Topics
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• Compare-Contrast Essay Topics
• Descriptive Essay Topics
• Expository and Informative Essay Topics
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Literary Essay Topics

• Narrative and Personal Essay Topics
• Personal Essay Topics
• Persuasive Essay Topics

Research Essay Topics

Argumentative essay topics for high school.

When writing an argumentative essay, remember to do the research and lay out the facts clearly. Your goal is not necessarily to persuade someone to agree with you, but to encourage your reader to accept your point of view as valid. Here are some possible argumentative topics to try. ( Here are 100 more compelling argumentative essay topics. )

• The most important challenge our country is currently facing is … (e.g., immigration, gun control, economy)
• The government should provide free internet access for every citizen.
• All drugs should be legalized, regulated, and taxed.
• Vaping is less harmful than smoking tobacco.
• The best country in the world is …
• Parents should be punished for their minor children’s crimes.
• Should all students have the ability to attend college for free?
• Should physical education be part of the standard high school curriculum?

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• Schools should require recommended vaccines for all students, with very limited exceptions.
• Is it acceptable to use animals for experiments and research?
• Does social media do more harm than good?
• Capital punishment does/does not deter crime.
• What one class should all high schools students be required to take and pass in order to graduate?
• Do we really learn anything from history, or does it just repeat itself over and over?
• Are men and women treated equally?

Cause-and-Effect Essay Topics for High School

A cause-and-effect essay is a type of argumentative essay. Your goal is to show how one specific thing directly influences another specific thing. You’ll likely need to do some research to make your point. Here are some ideas for cause-and-effect essays. ( Get a big list of 100 cause-and-effect essay topics here. )

• Humans are causing accelerated climate change.
• Fast-food restaurants have made human health worse over the decades.
• What caused World War II? (Choose any conflict for this one.)
• Describe the effects social media has on young adults.

• How does playing sports affect people?
• What are the effects of loving to read?
• Being an only/oldest/youngest/middle child makes you …
• What effect does violence in movies or video games have on kids?
• Traveling to new places opens people’s minds to new ideas.
• Racism is caused by …

Compare-Contrast Essay Topics for High School

As the name indicates, in compare-and-contrast essays, writers show the similarities and differences between two things. They combine descriptive writing with analysis, making connections and showing dissimilarities. The following ideas work well for compare-contrast essays. ( Find 80+ compare-contrast essay topics for all ages here. )

• Public and private schools
• Capitalism vs. communism
• Monarchy or democracy
• Dogs vs. cats as pets

• Paper books or e-books
• Two political candidates in a current race
• Going to college vs. starting work full-time
• Working your way through college as you go or taking out student loans
• iPhone or Android
• Instagram vs. Twitter (or choose any other two social media platforms)

Descriptive Essay Topics for High School

Bring on the adjectives! Descriptive writing is all about creating a rich picture for the reader. Take readers on a journey to far-off places, help them understand an experience, or introduce them to a new person. Remember: Show, don’t tell. These topics make excellent descriptive essays.

• Who is the funniest person you know?
• What is your happiest memory?
• Tell about the most inspirational person in your life.
• Write about your favorite place.
• When you were little, what was your favorite thing to do?
• Choose a piece of art or music and explain how it makes you feel.
• What is your earliest memory?

• What’s the best/worst vacation you’ve ever taken?
• Describe your favorite pet.
• What is the most important item in the world to you?
• Give a tour of your bedroom (or another favorite room in your home).
• Describe yourself to someone who has never met you.
• Lay out your perfect day from start to finish.
• Explain what it’s like to move to a new town or start a new school.
• Tell what it would be like to live on the moon.

Expository and Informative Essay Topics for High School

Expository essays set out clear explanations of a particular topic. You might be defining a word or phrase or explaining how something works. Expository or informative essays are based on facts, and while you might explore different points of view, you won’t necessarily say which one is “better” or “right.” Remember: Expository essays educate the reader. Here are some expository and informative essay topics to explore. ( See 70+ expository and informative essay topics here. )

• What makes a good leader?
• Explain why a given school subject (math, history, science, etc.) is important for students to learn.
• What is the “glass ceiling” and how does it affect society?
• Describe how the internet changed the world.
• What does it mean to be a good teacher?

• Explain how we could colonize the moon or another planet.
• Discuss why mental health is just as important as physical health.
• Describe a healthy lifestyle for a teenager.
• Choose an American president and explain how their time in office affected the country.
• What does “financial responsibility” mean?

Humorous Essay Topics for High School

Humorous essays can take on any form, like narrative, persuasive, or expository. You might employ sarcasm or satire, or simply tell a story about a funny person or event. Even though these essay topics are lighthearted, they still take some skill to tackle well. Give these ideas a try.

• What would happen if cats (or any other animal) ruled the world?
• What do newborn babies wish their parents knew?
• Explain the best ways to be annoying on social media.
• Invent a wacky new sport, explain the rules, and describe a game or match.

• Imagine a discussion between two historic figures from very different times, like Cleopatra and Queen Elizabeth I.
• Retell a familiar story in tweets or other social media posts.
• Describe present-day Earth from an alien’s point of view.
• Choose a fictional character and explain why they should be the next president.
• Describe a day when kids are in charge of everything, at school and at home.

Literary essays analyze a piece of writing, like a book or a play. In high school, students usually write literary essays about the works they study in class. These literary essay topic ideas focus on books students often read in high school, but many of them can be tweaked to fit other works as well.

• Discuss the portrayal of women in Shakespeare’s Othello .
• Explore the symbolism used in The Scarlet Letter .
• Explain the importance of dreams in Of Mice and Men .
• Compare and contrast the romantic relationships in Pride and Prejudice .

• Dissect the allegory of Animal Farm and its relation to contemporary events.
• Interpret the author’s take on society and class structure in The Great Gatsby .
• Explore the relationship between Hamlet and Ophelia.
• Discuss whether Shakespeare’s portrayal of young love in Romeo and Juliet is accurate.
• Explain the imagery used in Beowulf .

Narrative and Personal Essay Topics for High School

Think of a narrative essay like telling a story. Use some of the same techniques that you would for a descriptive essay, but be sure you have a beginning, middle, and end. A narrative essay doesn’t necessarily need to be personal, but they often are. Take inspiration from these narrative and personal essay topics.

• Describe a performance or sporting event you took part in.
• Explain the process of cooking and eating your favorite meal.
• Write about meeting your best friend for the first time and how your relationship developed.
• Tell about learning to ride a bike or drive a car.
• Describe a time in your life when you’ve been scared.

• Share the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you.
• Tell about a time when you overcame a big challenge.
• Tell the story of how you learned an important life lesson.
• Describe a time when you or someone you know experienced prejudice or oppression.
• Explain a family tradition, how it developed, and its importance today.
• What is your favorite holiday? How does your family celebrate it?
• Retell a familiar story from the point of view of a different character.
• Describe a time when you had to make a difficult decision.
• Tell about your proudest moment.

Persuasive Essay Topics for High School

Persuasive essays are similar to argumentative , but they rely less on facts and more on emotion to sway the reader. It’s important to know your audience, so you can anticipate any counterarguments they might make and try to overcome them. Try these topics to persuade someone to come around to your point of view. ( Discover 60 more intriguing persuasive essay topics here. )

• Do you think homework should be required, optional, or not given at all?
• Everyone should be vegetarian or vegan.
• What animal makes the best pet?
• Visit an animal shelter, choose an animal that needs a home, and write an essay persuading someone to adopt that animal.
• Who is the world’s best athlete, present or past?
• Should little kids be allowed to play competitive sports?
• Are professional athletes/musicians/actors overpaid?
• The best music genre is …

• Is democracy the best form of government?
• Is capitalism the best form of economy?
• Students should/should not be able to use their phones during the school day.
• Should schools have dress codes?
• If I could change one school rule, it would be …
• Is year-round school a good idea?

A research essay is a classic high school assignment. These papers require deep research into primary source documents, with lots of supporting facts and evidence that’s properly cited. Research essays can be in any of the styles shown above. Here are some possible topics, across a variety of subjects.

• Which country’s style of government is best for the people who live there?
• Choose a country and analyze its development from founding to present day.
• Describe the causes and effects of a specific war.
• Formulate an ideal economic plan for our country.
• What scientific discovery has had the biggest impact on life today?

• Analyze the way mental health is viewed and treated in this country.
• Explore the ways systemic racism impacts people in all walks of life.
• Defend the importance of teaching music and the arts in public schools.
• Choose one animal from the endangered species list, and propose a realistic plan to protect it.

What are some of your favorite essay topics for high school? Come share your prompts on the WeAreTeachers HELPLINE group on Facebook .

Plus, check out the ultimate guide to student writing contests .

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Essays That Worked

The essays are a place to show us who you are and who you’ll be in our community.

It’s a chance to add depth to something that is important to you and tell the admissions committee more about your background or goals. Below you’ll find selected examples of essays that “worked,” as nominated by our admissions committee. In each of these essays, students were able to share stories from their everyday lives to reveal something about their character, values, and life that aligned with the culture and values at Hopkins.

Read essays that worked from Transfer applicants .

Hear from the class of 2027.

These selections represent just a few examples of essays we found impressive and helpful during the past admissions cycle. We hope these essays inspire you as you prepare to compose your own personal statements. The most important thing to remember is to be original as you share your own story, thoughts, and ideas with us.

Ordering the Disorderly

Ellie’s essay skillfully uses the topic of entropy as an extended metaphor. Through it, we see reflections about who they are and who they aspire to be.

Pack Light, But Be Prepared

In Pablo’s essay, the act of packing for a pilgrimage becomes a metaphor for the way humans accumulate experiences in their life’s journey and what we can learn from them. As we join Pablo through the diverse phases of their life, we gain insights into their character and values.

Tikkun Olam

Julieta illustrates how the concept of Tikkun Olam, “a desire to help repair the world,” has shaped their passions and drives them to pursue experiences at Hopkins.

Kashvi’s essay encapsulates a heartfelt journey of self-discovery and the invaluable teachings of Rock, their 10-year-old dog. Through the lens of their companionship, Kashvi walked us through valuable lessons on responsibility, friendship, patience, and unconditional love.

Classical Reflections in Herstory

Maddie’s essay details their intellectual journey using their love of Greek classics. They incorporate details that reveal the roots of their academic interests: storytelling, literary devices, and translation. As their essay progresses, so do Maddie’s intellectual curiosities.

My Spotify Playlist

Alyssa’s essay reflects on special memories through the creative lens of Spotify playlists. They use three examples to highlight their experiences with their tennis team, finding a virtual community during the pandemic, and co-founding a nonprofit to help younger students learn about STEM.

More essays that worked

We share essays from previously admitted students—along with feedback from our admissions committee—so you can understand what made them effective and how to start crafting your own.

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Essay Topics – List of 500+ Essay Writing Topics and Ideas

List of 500+ essay writing topics and ideas.

Essay topics in English can be difficult to come up with. While writing essays , many college and high school students face writer’s block and have a hard time to think about topics and ideas for an essay. In this article, we will list out many good essay topics from different categories like argumentative essays, essays on technology, environment essays for students from 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th grades. Following list of essay topics are for all – from kids to college students. We have the largest collection of essays. An essay is nothing but a piece of content which is written from the perception of writer or author. Essays are similar to a story, pamphlet, thesis, etc. The best thing about Essay is you can use any type of language – formal or informal. It can biography, the autobiography of anyone. Following is a great list of 100 essay topics. We will be adding 400 more soon!

But Before that you may wanna read some awesome Essay Writing Tips here .

Get the Huge list of 100+ Speech Topics here

Argumentative Essay Topics

• Should plastic be banned?
• Pollution due to Urbanization
• Education should be free
• Should Students get limited access to the Internet?
• Selling Tobacco should be banned
• Smoking in public places should be banned
• Facebook should be banned
• Students should not be allowed to play PUBG

Essay Topics on Technology

• Wonder Of Science
• Mobile Phone

Essay Topics on Festivals on Events

• Independence Day (15 August)
• Teachers Day
• Summer Vacation
• Children’s Day
• Swachh Bharat Abhiyan
• Janmashtami
• Republic Day

Essay Topics on Education

• Education Essay
• Importance of Education
• Contribution of Technology in Education

Essay Topics on Famous Leaders

• Mahatma Gandhi
• APJ Abdul Kalam
• Jawaharlal Nehru
• Swami Vivekananda
• Mother Teresa
• Rabindranath Tagore
• Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel
• Subhash Chandra Bose
• Abraham Lincoln
• Martin Luther King
• Lal Bahadur Shashtri

Essay Topics on Animals and Birds

• My Favorite Animal

Essays Topics About Yourself

• My Best Friend
• My Favourite Teacher
• My Aim In Life
• My Favourite Game – Badminton
• My Favourite Game – Essay
• My Favourite Book
• My Ambition
• How I Spent My Summer Vacation
• India of My Dreams
• My School Life
• I Love My Family
• My Favourite Subject
• My Favourite Game Badminton
• My Father My Hero
• My School Library
• My Favourite Author
• My plans for summer vacation

Essay Topics Based on Environment and Nature

• Global Warming
• Environment
• Air Pollution
• Environmental Pollution
• Water Pollution
• Rainy Season
• Climate Change
• Importance Of Trees
• Winter Season
• Deforestation
• Natural Disasters
• Save Environment
• Summer Season
• Trees Our Best Friend Essay In English

Essay Topics Based on Proverbs

• Health Is Wealth
• A Stitch in Time Saves Nine
• An Apple a Day Keeps Doctor Away
• Where there is a will, there is way
• Time and Tide wait for none

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Essay Topics for Students from 6th, 7th, 8th Grade

• Noise Pollution
• Environment Pollution
• Women Empowerment
• Time and Tide Wait for none
• Science and Technology
• Importance of Sports
• Sports and Games
• Time Management
• Cleanliness is next to Godliness
• Cleanliness
• Rome was not Built in a Day
• Unemployment
• Clean India
• Cow Essay In English
• Describe Yourself
• Festivals Of India
• Ganesh Chaturthi
• Healthy Food
• Importance Of Water
• Plastic Pollution
• Value of Time
• Honesty is the Best Policy
• Gandhi Jayanti
• Human Rights
• Knowledge Is Power
• Same Sex Marriage
• Childhood Memories
• Cyber Crime
• Kalpana Chawla
• Punctuality
• Rani Lakshmi Bai
• Spring Season
• Unity In Diversity
• Artificial Intelligence
• Online Shopping
• Indian Culture
• Healthy Lifestyle
• Indian Education System
• Disaster Management
• Environmental Issues
• Freedom Fighters
• Grandparents
• Save Fuel For Better Environment
• Importance Of Newspaper
• Lal Bahadur Shastri
• Raksha Bandhan
• World Environment Day
• Narendra Modi
• What Is Religion
• Charity Begins at Home
• A Journey by Train
• Ideal student
• Save Water Save Earth
• Indian Farmer
• Safety of Women in India
• Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan
• Capital Punishment
• College Life
• Natural Resources
• Peer Pressure
• Nature Vs Nurture
• Romeo And Juliet
• Generation Gap
• Makar Sankranti
• Constitution of India
• Girl Education
• Importance of Family
• Importance of Independence Day
• Brain Drain
• A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed
• Action Speaks Louder Than Words
• All That Glitters Is Not Gold
• Bhagat Singh
• Demonetization
• Agriculture
• Importance of Discipline
• Population Explosion
• Poverty in India
• Uses Of Mobile Phones
• Water Scarcity
• Train Journey
• Land Pollution
• Environment Protection
• Indian Army
• Uses of Internet
• All that Glitters is not Gold
• Balanced Diet
• Blood Donation
• Digital India
• Dussehra Essay
• Energy Conservation
• National Integration
• Railway Station
• Sachin Tendulkar
• Health And Hygiene
• Importance Of Forest
• Indira Gandhi
• Laughter Is The Best Medicine
• Career Goals
• Mental Health
• Save Water Save Life
• International Yoga Day
• Winter Vacation
• Soil Pollution
• Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining
• Indian Culture And Tradition
• Unity Is Strength
• Unity is Diversity
• Wildlife Conservation
• Cruelty To Animals
• Nelson Mandela
• Of Mice And Men
• Organ Donation
• Life in a Big City
• Democracy in India
• Waste Management
• Biodiversity
• Afforestation
• Female Foeticide
• Harmful Effects Of Junk Food
• Rain Water Harvesting
• Save Electricity
• Social Media
• Social Networking Sites
• Sound Pollution
• Procrastination
• Life in an Indian Village
• Life in Big City
• Population Growth
• World Population Day
• Greenhouse Effect
• Statue of Unity
• Traffic Jam
• Beti Bachao Beti Padhao
• Importance of Good Manners
• Good Manners
• Cyber Security
• Green Revolution
• Health And Fitness
• Incredible India
• Make In India
• Surgical Strike
• Triple Talaq
• A Good Friend
• Importance of Friends in our Life
• Should Plastic be Banned
• Nationalism
• Traffic Rules
• Effects of Global Warming
• Fundamental Rights
• Solar System
• National Constitution Day
• Good Mother
• Importance of Trees in our Life
• City Life Vs Village Life
• Importance of Communication
• Conservation of Nature
• Man vs. Machine
• Indian Economy
• Mothers Love
• Importance of National Integration
• Black Money
• Greenhouse effect
• Untouchability
• Self Discipline
• Global Terrorism
• Conservation of Biodiversity
• Newspaper and Its Uses
• World Health Day
• Conservation of Natural Resources
• A Picnic with Family
• Indian Heritage
• Status of Women in India
• Child is Father of the Man
• Reading is Good Habit
• Plastic Bag
• Terrorism in India
• Library and Its Uses
• Life on Mars
• Urbanization
• Pollution Due to Diwali
• National Flag of India
• Vocational Education
• Importance of Tree Plantation
• Summer Camp
• Vehicle Pollution
• Women Education in India
• Seasons in India
• Freedom of the Press
• Caste System
• Environment and Human Health
• Mountain Climbing
• Depletion of Natural Resources
• Ishwar Chandra Vidyasagar
• Health Education
• Effects of Deforestation
• Life after School
• Starvation in India
• Jan Dhan Yojana
• Impact of Privatization
• Election Commission of India
• Election and Democracy
• Prevention of Global Warming
• Impact of Cinema in Life
• Subhas Chandra Bose
• Dowry System
• Ganesh Chaturthi Festival
• Role of Science in Making India
• Impact of Global Warming on Oceans
• Pollution due to Festivals
• Ambedkar Jayanti
• Ek Bharat Shreshtha Bharat
• Family Planning in India
• Democracy vs Dictatorship
• National Festivals of India
• Sri Aurobindo
• Casteism in India
• Organ trafficking
• Consequences of Global Warming
• Role of Human Activities in Global Warming
• Issues and Problems faced by Women in India
• Role of Judiciary in the Country Today
• Sugamya Bharat Abhiyan
• PUBG Mobile Game Addiction
• Role of Youths in Nation Building
• Value of Oxygen and Water in Life/Earth
• Farmer Suicides in India
• Start-up India
• Pollution Due to Firecrackers
• Life of Soldiers
• Child Labour
• Save Girl Child
• Morning Walk
• My School Fete
• Essay on Financial Literacy
• Essay On Sustainable Development
• Essay On Punjab
• Essay On Travel
• My Home Essay
• Child Marriage Essay
• Importance Of English Language Essay
• Essay On Mass Media
• Essay On Horse
• Essay On Police
• Essay On Eid
• Essay On Solar Energy
• Animal Essay
• Essay On Mango
• Gender Discrimination Essay
• Essay On Advertisement
• My First Day At School Essay
• My Neighborhood Essay
• True Friendship Essay
• Work Is Worship Essay
• Essay On Self Confidence
• Essay On Superstition
• Essay On Bangalore
• Sex Vs Gender Essay
• Essay On Social Issues
• Time Is Money Essay
• Essay About Grandmothers
• Essay On Hard Work
• First Day Of School Essay
• Flowers Essay
• My Favorite Food Essay
• Essay on Birds
• Essay on Humanity
• Essay on Sun
• Essay on Kargil War
• Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining Essay
• Francis Bacon Essays
• Importance of Cleanliness Essay
• My Sister Essay
• Self Introduction Essay
• Solar Energy Essay
• Sports Day Essa
• Value Of Education Essay
• Essay On Isro
• Essay On Balance Is Beneficial
• Essay On Reservation In India
• Essay On Water Management
• Essay On Smoking
• Essay On Stress Management
• Essay On William Shakespeare
• Essay on Apple
• Essay On Albert Einstein
• Essay On Feminism
• Essay On Kindness
• Essay On Domestic Violence
• Essay on English as a Global Language
• Essay On Co-Education
• Importance Of Exercise Essay
• Overpopulation Essay
• Smartphone Essay
• Essay on River
• Essay on Cyclone
• Essay On Facebook
• Essay On Science In Everyday Life
• Essay On Women Rights
• Essay On Right To Education
• Essay on Quotes
• Essay On Peace
• Essay On Drawing
• Essay On Bicycle
• Essay On Sexual Harassment
• Essay On Hospital
• Essay On Srinivasa Ramanujan
• Essay On Golden Temple
• Essay On Art
• Essay On Ruskin Bond
• Essay On Moon
• Birthday Essay
• Dont Judge A Book By Its Cover Essay
• Draught Essay
• Gratitude Essay
• Indian Politics Essay
• Who am I Essay
• Essay on Positive Thinking
• Essay on Dance
• Essay on Navratri
• Essay on Onam
• Essay on New Education Policy 2020
• Esasy on Thank you Coronavirus Helpers
• Essay on Coronavirus and Coronavirus Symptoms
• Essay on Baseball
• Essay on coronavirus vaccine
• Fitness beats pandemic essay
• Essay on coronavirus tips
• Essay on coronavirus prevention
• Essay on coronavirus treatment
• Essay on essay on trees
• Essay on television
• Gender inequality essay
• Water conservation essay
• Essay on Gurpurab
• Essay on Types of sports
• Essay on road safety
• Essay on my favourite season
• My pet essay
• Student life essay
• Essay on Railway station
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• Essay on knowledge is power
• Essay on favourite personality
• Essay on memorable day of my life
• My parents essay
• Our country essay
• Picnic essay
• Travelling essay

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College sports should learn from Red Lobster's mistakes and avoid the private equity bros

After gutting red lobster, private equity bros are targeting a distressed asset in an industry full of endless shrimp: college sports..

Contrary to what you may have read, the demise of Red Lobster was not about all-you-can-eat shrimp. Instead, it's a story of an iconic American business that found itself in financial distress and sold out to another iconic American industry that loves nothing more than financial distress: Private equity. 

From there, private equity did what private equity does. It sold off the company’s land to a real estate conglomerate to make back the cash it used to buy Red Lobster in the first place, then saddled the restaurants sitting on that land with expensive rent deals they didn't have before. That left stores with little financial room for error, and when economic headwinds finally hit, it sent Red Lobster into a tailspin leading to bankruptcy. 

Now here comes another set of private equity bros looking for their next distressed asset to gut for every last penny, and they’re finding it in a different industry full of endless shrimp: College sports. 

Formally announced on Wednesday, College Athletic Solutions says it seeks to be a “purpose-driven, dedicated capital and business-building platform for public and private university athletic departments across the United States.” It bills itself as a “trusted advisor” to the people leading college sports through these turbulent times, “equipping the strategies and resources to operate efficiently while allowing their athletic program to compete at the highest level.” 

Translated from private equity bro into regular English, here’s what it means: You need cash because college athletes are now going to be on the payroll thanks to years of litigation that showed amateurism violated antitrust laws. We, the private equity bros, are here to give you that sweet, sweet cash. And all we ask in return is for you to let us “right-size” your operating structure to maximize future profits and new revenues, of which we will of course take a healthy percentage down the road. 

You can call this theoretical arrangement whatever you want. Some will call it “private equity investment.” Some will call it “private credit,” or, in layman’s terms, a loan. Drew Weatherford, the former Florida State quarterback-turned-private equity bro who cooked up this idea and has been pitching it to college administrators for months, even told Yahoo! Sports: “They are not mandated to pay us back the money we give them.”

Here’s what I call it: A garden-variety private equity scam that will benefit private equity and only private equity, because that’s all private equity truly cares about in the end. 

MORE: NCAA, Power Five conferences reach deal to let schools pay players

If you’re an athletics director, conference commissioner or school president thinking about going down this road – and there are quite a few of them out there worried about the coming financial crunch of revenue sharing with athletes – you should ask yourself the following questions: 

• Why do you think RedBird Capital, a firm with a reported $10 billion in assets under management and partnering with Weatherford Capital on this endeavor, wants to be involved in college sports? (Hint: Because you’ve mismanaged it so badly that they can smell your desperation like a man coming off a three-day Vegas bender.)
• What makes you believe that private equity, contrary to everything private equity has done ever, will just give you money without strings attached? What do you think “right-sizing” your operation actually means? How much control are you willing to give up? 
• If you need private equity to tell you how to unlock new revenue in an industry that already has a massive audience and widespread appeal, are you actually good at your job or just collecting a paycheck? And what evidence is there that these guys can actually help you do it? 
• And finally, what happens if it goes wrong? What legacy is that going to leave in 10 or 15 years when your athletic department is just another Red Lobster saddled with debt that these guys can trade around like Pokemon cards to make more deals? 

Actually, that last part explains why there’s a good chance college sports falls into the trap. Athletics directors, especially at the big schools, get paid very well these days. They also know they’re one bad football coaching hire away from being thrown into the street. They may only get one shot at making a million dollars a year or more.

What do most of them really care if someone else has to come clean up behind them when they’re sitting on the balcony at their penthouse in Destin? Why make a hard decision or go the austerity route – including maybe having to cut their own salaries – when they’ve got a slick former college quarterback like Drew Weatherford with a classic side-part haircut and a billion-dollar smile promising to shower them with easy, instant money? (Weatherford, by the way, did not respond to an e-mail asking for comment.) 

This is, of course, how college sports arrived at its current state of disorder in the first place. Nobody wanted to make tough choices. Nobody wanted to acknowledge the reality that college athletes were going to one day be paid and figure out how to best deal with that. Nobody prepared for the inevitable chaos that would follow name, image and likeness rights being given to athletes without any structure around the market. Nobody wanted to actually acknowledge that the NCAA’s business model was illegal and be proactive about solutions before they were imposed by federal courts and attorneys like Jeffrey Kessler.  

That, after all, is very hard work. It takes foresight, and it makes people uncomfortable and it is even perhaps an impediment to the lifestyle that these college administrators have been enjoying for decades. 

Why actually do the work to steer the NCAA toward a fair, lawful model when you can be like Jim Delany and cry for years about the dangers of professionalizing college sports as the Big Ten commissioner, then retire with a multi-million dollar golden parachute and lucrative "consulting" deal? 

College sports and the administrators who ran it into the ground have never been forced to reckon with their gluttony. Now here comes private equity, ready to shovel more money into their pockets, and some of them are undoubtedly going to take it, pushing off the IOUs beyond their own professional expiration dates. 

That’s how college sports becomes the next Red Lobster – cheddar biscuits not included. 

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, what is a personal statement everything you need to know about the college essay.

College Admissions , College Essays

In addition to standardized test scores and transcripts, a personal statement or essay is a required part of many college applications. The personal statement can be one of the most stressful parts of the application process because it's the most open ended.

In this guide, I'll answer the question, "What is a personal statement?" I'll talk through common college essay topics and what makes for an effective personal statement.

College Essay Glossary

Even the terminology can be confusing if you aren't familiar with it, so let's start by defining some terms:

Personal statement —an essay you write to show a college admissions committee who you are and why you deserve to be admitted to their school. It's worth noting that, unlike "college essay," this term is used for application essays for graduate school as well.

College essay —basically the same as a personal statement (I'll be using the terms interchangeably).

Essay prompt —a question or statement that your college essay is meant to respond to.

Supplemental essay —an extra school or program-specific essay beyond the basic personal statement.

Many colleges ask for only one essay. However, some schools do ask you to respond to multiple prompts or to provide supplemental essays in addition to a primary personal statement.

Either way, don't let it stress you out! This guide will cover everything you need to know about the different types of college essays and get you started thinking about how to write a great one:

• Why colleges ask for an essay
• What kinds of essay questions you'll see
• What sets great essays apart
• Tips for writing your own essay

Why Do Colleges Ask For an Essay?

There are a couple of reasons that colleges ask applicants to submit an essay, but the basic idea is that it gives them more information about you, especially who you are beyond grades and test scores.

#1: Insight Into Your Personality

The most important role of the essay is to give admissions committees a sense of your personality and what kind of addition you'd be to their school's community . Are you inquisitive? Ambitious? Caring? These kinds of qualities will have a profound impact on your college experience, but they're hard to determine based on a high school transcript.

Basically, the essay contextualizes your application and shows what kind of person you are outside of your grades and test scores . Imagine two students, Jane and Tim: they both have 3.5 GPAs and 1200s on the SAT. Jane lives in Colorado and is the captain of her track team; Tim lives in Vermont and regularly contributes to the school paper. They both want to be doctors, and they both volunteer at the local hospital.

As similar as Jane and Tim seem on paper, in reality, they're actually quite different, and their unique perspectives come through in their essays. Jane writes about how looking into her family history for a school project made her realize how the discovery of modern medical treatments like antibiotics and vaccines had changed the world and drove her to pursue a career as a medical researcher. Tim, meanwhile, recounts a story about how a kind doctor helped him overcome his fear of needles, an interaction that reminded him of the value of empathy and inspired him to become a family practitioner. These two students may seem outwardly similar but their motivations and personalities are very different.

Without an essay, your application is essentially a series of numbers: a GPA, SAT scores, the number of hours spent preparing for quiz bowl competitions. The personal statement is your chance to stand out as an individual.

#2: Evidence of Writing Skills

A secondary purpose of the essay is to serve as a writing sample and help colleges see that you have the skills needed to succeed in college classes. The personal statement is your best chance to show off your writing , so take the time to craft a piece you're really proud of.

That said, don't panic if you aren't a strong writer. Admissions officers aren't expecting you to write like Joan Didion; they just want to see that you can express your ideas clearly.

No matter what, your essay should absolutely not include any errors or typos .

#3: Explanation of Extenuating Circumstances

For some students, the essay is also a chance to explain factors affecting their high school record. Did your grades drop sophomore year because you were dealing with a family emergency? Did you miss out on extracurriculars junior year because of an extended medical absence? Colleges want to know if you struggled with a serious issue that affected your high school record , so make sure to indicate any relevant circumstances on your application.

Keep in mind that in some cases there will be a separate section for you to address these types of issues, as well as any black marks on your record like expulsions or criminal charges.

#4: Your Reasons for Applying to the School

Many colleges ask you to write an essay or paragraph about why you're applying to their school specifically . In asking these questions, admissions officers are trying to determine if you're genuinely excited about the school and whether you're likely to attend if accepted .

I'll talk more about this type of essay below.

What Kind of Questions Do Colleges Ask?

Thankfully, applications don't simply say, "Please include an essay about yourself"; they include a question or prompt that you're asked to respond to . These prompts are generally pretty open-ended and can be approached in a lot of different ways .

Nonetheless, most questions fall into a few main categories. Let's go through each common type of prompt, with examples from the Common Application, the University of California application, and a few individual schools.

Prompt Type 1: Your Personal History

This sort of question asks you to write about a formative experience, important event, or key relationship from your life . Admissions officers want to understand what is important to you and how your background has shaped you as a person.

These questions are both common and tricky. The most common pit students fall into is trying to tell their entire life stories. It's better to focus in on a very specific point in time and explain why it was meaningful to you.

Common App 1

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Common App 5

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

University of California 2

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

University of California 6

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Prompt Type 2: Facing a Problem

A lot of prompts deal with how you solve problems, how you cope with failure, and how you respond to conflict. College can be difficult, both personally and academically, and admissions committees want to see that you're equipped to face those challenges .

The key to these types of questions is to identify a real problem, failure, or conflict ( not a success in disguise) and show how you adapted and grew from addressing the issue.

Common App 2

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Harvard University 7

The Harvard College Honor Code declares that we “hold honesty as the foundation of our community.” As you consider entering this community that is committed to honesty, please reflect on a time when you or someone you observed had to make a choice about whether to act with integrity and honesty.

Prompt Type 3: Diversity

Most colleges are pretty diverse, with students from a wide range of backgrounds. Essay questions about diversity are designed to help admissions committees understand how you interact with people who are different from you .

In addressing these prompts, you want to show that you're capable of engaging with new ideas and relating to people who may have different beliefs than you.

Common App 3

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Johns Hopkins University

Tell us about an aspect of your identity (e.g., race, gender, sexuality, religion, community) or a life experience that has shaped you as an individual and how that influenced what you’d like to pursue in college at Hopkins.  This can be a future goal or experience that is either [sic] academic, extracurricular, or social.

Duke University Optional 1

We believe a wide range of personal perspectives, beliefs, and lived experiences are essential to making Duke a vibrant and meaningful living and learning community. Feel free to share with us anything in this context that might help us better understand you and what you might bring to our community. 

Prompt Type 4: Your Future Goals

This type of prompt asks about what you want to do in the future: sometimes simply what you'd like to study, sometimes longer-term career goals. Colleges want to understand what you're interested in and how you plan to work towards your goals.

You'll mostly see these prompts if you're applying for a specialized program (like pre-med or engineering) or applying as a transfer student. Some schools also ask for supplementary essays along these lines. 

University of Southern California (Architecture)

Princeton Supplement 1

Prompt Type 5: Why This School

The most common style of supplemental essay is the "why us?" essay, although a few schools with their own application use this type of question as their main prompt. In these essays, you're meant to address the specific reasons you want to go to the school you're applying to .

Whatever you do, don't ever recycle these essays for more than one school.

Chapman University

There are thousands of universities and colleges. Why are you interested in attending Chapman?

Columbia University

Why are you interested in attending Columbia University? We encourage you to consider the aspect(s) that you find unique and compelling about Columbia.

Rice University

Based upon your exploration of Rice University, what elements of the Rice experience appeal to you?

Princeton University

Princeton has a longstanding commitment to understanding our responsibility to society through service and civic engagement. How does your own story intersect with these ideals?

Prompt Type 6: Creative Prompts

More selective schools often have supplemental essays with stranger or more unique questions. University of Chicago is notorious for its weird prompts, but it's not the only school that will ask you to think outside the box in addressing its questions.

University of Chicago

“Vlog,” “Labradoodle,” and “Fauxmage.” Language is filled with portmanteaus. Create a new portmanteau and explain why those two things are a “patch” (perfect match).

University of Vermont

Established in Burlington, VT, Ben & Jerry’s is synonymous with both ice cream and social change. The “Save Our Swirled” flavor raises awareness of climate change, and “I Dough, I Dough” celebrates marriage equality. If you worked alongside Ben & Jerry, what charitable flavor would you develop and why?

What Makes a Strong Personal Statement?

OK , so you're clear on what a college essay is, but you're still not sure how to write a good one . To help you get started, I'm going to explain the main things admissions officers look for in students' essays: an engaging perspective, genuine moments, and lively writing .

I've touched on these ideas already, but here, I'll go into more depth about how the best essays stand out from the pack.

Showing Who You Are

A lot of students panic about finding a unique topic, and certainly writing about something unusual like a successful dating app you developed with your friends or your time working as a mall Santa can't hurt you. But what's really important isn't so much what you write about as how you write about it . You need to use your subject to show something deeper about yourself.

Look at the prompts above: you'll notice that they almost all ask you what you learned or how the experience affected you. Whatever topic you pick, you must be able to specifically address how or why it matters to you .

Say a student, Will, was writing about the mall Santa in response to Common App prompt number 2 (the one about failure): Will was a terrible mall Santa. He was way too skinny to be convincing and the kids would always step on his feet. He could easily write 600 very entertaining words describing this experience, but they wouldn't necessarily add up to an effective college essay.

To do that, he'll need to talk about his motivations and his feelings: why he took such a job in the first place and what he did (and didn't) get out of it. Maybe Will took the job because he needed to make some money to go on a school trip and it was the only one he could find. Despite his lack of enthusiasm for screaming children, he kept doing it because he knew if he persevered through the whole holiday season he would have enough money for his trip. Would you rather read "I failed at being a mall Santa" or "Failing as a mall Santa taught me how to persevere no matter what"? Admissions officers definitely prefer the latter.

Ultimately, the best topics are ones that allow you to explain something surprising about yourself .

Since the main point of the essay is to give schools a sense of who you are, you have to open up enough to let them see your personality . Writing a good college essay means being honest about your feelings and experiences even when they aren't entirely positive.

In this context, honesty doesn't mean going on at length about the time you broke into the local pool at night and nearly got arrested, but it does mean acknowledging when something was difficult or upsetting for you. Think about the mall Santa example above. The essay won't work unless the writer genuinely acknowledges that he was a bad Santa and explains why.

Eloquent Writing

As I mentioned above, colleges want to know that you are a strong enough writer to survive in college classes . Can you express your ideas clearly and concisely? Can you employ specific details appropriately and avoid clichés and generalizations? These kinds of skills will serve you well in college (and in life!).

Nonetheless, admissions officers recognize that different students have different strengths. They aren't looking for a poetic magnum opus from someone who wants to be a math major. (Honestly, they aren't expecting a masterwork from anyone , but the basic point stands.) Focus on making sure that your thoughts and personality come through, and don't worry about using fancy vocabulary or complex rhetorical devices.

Above all, make sure that you have zero grammar or spelling errors . Typos indicate carelessness, which will hurt your cause with admissions officers.

Top Five Essay-Writing Tips

Now that you have a sense of what colleges are looking for, let's talk about how you can put this new knowledge into practice as you approach your own essay. Below, I've collected my five best tips from years as a college essay counselor.

#1: Start Early!

No matter how much you want to avoid writing your essay, don't leave it until the last minute . One of the most important parts of the essay writing process is editing, and editing takes a lot of time. You want to be able to put your draft in a drawer for a week and come back to it with fresh eyes. You don't want to be stuck with an essay you don't really like because you have to submit your application tomorrow.

You need plenty of time to experiment and rewrite, so I would recommend starting your essays at least two months before the application deadline . For most students, that means starting around Halloween, but if you're applying early, you'll need to get going closer to Labor Day.

Of course, it's even better to get a head start and begin your planning earlier. Many students like to work on their essays over the summer, when they have more free time, but you should keep in mind that each year's application isn't usually released until August or September. Essay questions often stay the same from year to year, however. If you are looking to get a jump on writing, you can try to confirm with the school (or the Common App) whether the essay questions will be the same as the previous year's.

#2: Pick a Topic You're Genuinely Excited About

One of the biggest mistakes students make is trying to write what they think the committee wants to hear. The truth is that there's no "right answer" when it comes to college essays . T he best topics aren't limited to specific categories like volunteer experiences or winning a tournament. Instead, they're topics that actually matter to the writer .

"OK," you're thinking, "but what does she mean by 'a topic that matters to you'? Because to be perfectly honest, right now, what really matters to me is that fall TV starts up this week, and I have a feeling I shouldn't write about that."

You're not wrong (although some great essays have been written about television ). A great topic isn't just something that you're excited about or that you talk to your friends about; it's something that has had a real, describable effect on your perspective .

This doesn't mean that you should overemphasize how something absolutely changed your life , especially if it really didn't. Instead, try to be as specific and honest as you can about how the experience affected you, what it taught you, or what you got out of it.

Let's go back to the TV idea. Sure, writing an essay about how excited you are for the new season of Stranger Things  probably isn't the quickest way to get yourself into college, but you could write a solid essay (in response to the first type of prompt) about how SpongeBob SquarePants was an integral part of your childhood. However, it's not enough to just explain how much you loved SpongeBob—you must also explain why and how watching the show every day after school affected your life. For example, maybe it was a ritual you shared with your brother, which showed you how even seemingly silly pieces of pop culture can bring people together. Dig beneath the surface to show who you are and how you see the world.

When you write about something you don't really care about, your writing will come out clichéd and uninteresting, and you'll likely struggle to motivate yourself. When you instead write about something that is genuinely important to you, you can make even the most ordinary experiences—learning to swim, eating a meal, or watching TV—engaging .

#3: Focus on Specifics

But how do you write an interesting essay? Focus.

Don't try to tell your entire life story or even the story of an entire weekend; 500–650 words may seem like a lot, but you'll reach that limit quickly if you try to pack every single thing that has happened to you into your essay. If, however, you just touch on a wide range of topics, you'll end up with an essay that reads more like a résumé.

Instead, narrow in on one specific event or idea, and talk about it in more depth . The narrower your topic, the better. For example, writing about your role as Mercutio in your school's production of Romeo and Juliet is too general, but writing about opening night, when everything went wrong, could be a great topic.

Whatever your topic, use details to help draw the reader in and express your unique perspective. But keep in mind that you don't have to include every detail of what you did or thought; stick to the important and illustrative ones.

#4: Use Your Own Voice

College essays aren't academic assignments; you don't need to be super formal. Instead, try to be yourself. The best writing sounds like a more eloquent version of the way you talk .

Focus on using clear, simple language that effectively explains a point or evokes a feeling. To do so, avoid the urge to use fancy-sounding synonyms when you don't really know what they mean. Contractions are fine; slang, generally, is not. Don't hesitate to write in the first person.

A final note: you don't need to be relentlessly positive. It's OK to acknowledge that sometimes things don't go how you want—just show how you grew from that.

#5: Be Ruthless

Many students want to call it a day after writing a first draft, but editing is a key part of writing a truly great essay. To be clear, editing doesn't mean just making a few minor wording tweaks and cleaning up typos; it means reading your essay carefully and objectively and thinking about how you could improve it .

Ask yourself questions as you read: is the progression of the essay clear? Do you make a lot of vague, sweeping statements that could be replaced with more interesting specifics? Do your sentences flow together nicely? Do you show something about yourself beyond the surface level?

You will have to delete and rewrite (potentially large) parts of your essay, and no matter how attached you feel to something you wrote, you might have to let it go . If you've ever heard the phrase "kill your darlings," know that it is 100% applicable to college essay writing.

At some point, you might even need to rewrite the whole essay. Even though it's annoying, starting over is sometimes the best way to get an essay that you're really proud of.

What's Next?

Make sure to check out our other posts on college essays , including our step-by-step guide to how to write your college essay , our analysis of the Common App Prompts , and our collection of example essays .

If you're in need of guidance on other parts of the application process , take a look at our guides to choosing the right college for you , writing about extracurriculars , deciding to double major , and requesting teacher recommendations .

Last but not least, if you're planning on taking the SAT one last time , check out our ultimate guide to studying for the SAT and make sure you're as prepared as possible.

Alex is an experienced tutor and writer. Over the past five years, she has worked with almost a hundred students and written about pop culture for a wide range of publications. She graduated with honors from University of Chicago, receiving a BA in English and Anthropology, and then went on to earn an MA at NYU in Cultural Reporting and Criticism. In high school, she was a National Merit Scholar, took 12 AP tests and scored 99 percentile scores on the SAT and ACT.

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