how to make yourself happy essay

How to Find True Happiness (According to Psychology)

There are many philosophical schools of thought regarding the concept of happiness and its cultivation.

For instance, the pursuit of enduring happiness is at the core of many mindfulness practices, which often emphasize gratitude and seeking contentment in the present moment.

Other models of happiness suggest the importance of living in congruence with our values and in ways that satisfy our basic human needs. Some research even shows that whether we are happy or not can, in part, be boiled down to our genetics.

In what follows, we’ll walk you through several conceptualizations of happiness, show you how to measure each, and give you a wide range of strategies for cultivating whichever form of happiness you seek in your own life.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Happiness & Subjective Wellbeing Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients identify sources of authentic happiness and strategies to boost wellbeing.

This Article Contains:

What is happiness, how to measure happiness, what is true happiness, the wrong way to search for happiness, 7 ways to find happiness, 3 tips to form habits for happiness, a take-home message.

Defining happiness is no small task, but philosophers and researchers have drilled the notion down to two key conceptualizations.

These conceptualizations are known as hedonia and eudaimonia , and together, they represent two long-running traditions in the study of happiness that stem as far back as the times of ancient philosophers (Ryan & Deci, 2001).

Happiness as hedonia

The hedonic perspective of happiness argues that life’s goal is to experience the maximum amount of pleasure and the minimum amount of pain. According to this tradition, how happy we are can be boiled down to the sum of one’s total hedonic moments (Ryan & Deci, 2001).

When it comes to measuring hedonic happiness, modern psychologists tend to use assessments of Subjective Wellbeing (see How to Measure Happiness below; Diener & Lucas, 1999).

In the past, philosophers of hedonism adopted a fairly narrow view of pleasure and pain related to bodily sensations, appetites, and self-interests. Examples of such forms of hedonia include eating tasty food, enjoying sex, and being free of physical discomfort.

Today, psychologists adopting the hedonic view take an interest in both the pleasures of the body and mind in the broader study of wellbeing (Kahneman, 1999).

This broader, more psychological conceptualization of hedonic pleasure argues that happiness can flow from behaviors that promote mental stimulation, stress relief, feelings of social connectedness, positive mood, and more (Arnold & Reynolds, 2003).

This expanded conceptualization has resulted in the broadening of the study of hedonic pleasure to fields such as economics. For instance, hedonic conceptualizations of happiness are used to understand how shoppers make decisions between purchases, estimating how much pleasure or utility they stand to gain by choosing one product over another (Babin, Darden & Griffin, 1994).

Happiness as eudaimonia

The eudaimonic perspective of happiness presents an alternative to the hedonic view, arguing that true happiness is found when one behaves virtuously. Pursuing eudaimonia, therefore, is about doing what is worth doing .

In line with this, we can think about the eudaimonic perspective as being about reaching one’s true potential and living in congruence with one’s values and true self. It also involves developing one’s talents and strengthening relationships with those for whom we care. By living in this way, one should feel deeply engaged and fully alive (Waterman, 1993).

When it comes to measuring eudaimonic happiness, most researchers tend to use Ryff and Keyes’ (1995) multidimensional scales of psychological wellbeing (see How to Measure Happiness below).

According to the eudaimonic perspective, that which feels pleasurable is not always conducive to wellbeing. Likewise, that which is worth doing does not always feel pleasurable in the present moment.

For instance, volunteering for a cause one feels passionate about may not always feel pleasurable in the hedonic sense. It may involve spending long hours sweating in the sun, getting dirty, or dealing with challenging people or situations. Nonetheless, such pursuits may feed into our eudaimonic happiness as we live in unity with our values.

Interestingly, many traditional philosophers who championed the eudaimonic perspective denounced hedonic views of happiness, declaring them vulgar and overly self-centered. For instance, Aristotle considered hedonic happiness to make humans slavish followers of frivolous desires.

Spiritual conceptualizations of happiness

Today, we can consider a third perspective of happiness which lies in the practice of mindfulness.

Whereas the previous two perspectives consider happiness as something that must be sought, growing schools of thought argue that happiness in the form of contentment or inner peace are primarily available to us at any given moment, regardless of what we are doing.

Consider the following quote from neuroscientist and mindfulness practitioner Sam Harris (2014):

Most of us spend our time seeking happiness and security without acknowledging the underlying purpose of our search. Each of us is looking for a path back to the present: We are trying to find good enough reasons to be satisfied now. Acknowledging that this is the structure of the game we are playing allows us to play it differently. How we pay attention to the present moment largely determines the character of our experience and, therefore, the quality of our lives.

– Sam Harris, Waking Up, p. 3

Mindfulness-based perspectives on happiness and contentment have traditionally been a feature of eastern religions. These traditions hold the view that there exists a source of psychological wellbeing that is not dependent on gratifying one’s desires (hedonia) or pursuing an integrated, self-actualized sense of self (eudaimonia).

Rather, happiness can be achieved by cultivating present-moment awareness and self-transcendence . In other words, these arguments suggest that it is possible to give up the search for happiness and commit oneself to finding contentment in what is happening right now.

A rapidly growing body of psychological and neuroscientific evidence has emerged to support these claims (Hanson, 2009), pointing us toward another avenue for cultivating sustainable happiness.

Overall, happiness is likely to look different for different people. As an individual or practitioner, you may find the most value in considering how all three of these conceptualizations factor into you or your client’s life as a first step toward cultivating enduring happiness.

As noted, hedonic conceptualizations of happiness are often measured using assessments of subjective wellbeing (Diener & Lucas, 1999). Subjective wellbeing regards a person’s cognitive and affective evaluations of his or her life (Diener, 2000).

You can read more about measures of subjective well-being in our other dedicated articles. In these, we explore several commonly accepted measures of hedonic happiness. These include:

• The Positive and Negative Affect Schedule (Watson, Clark & Tellegen, 1988);
• The Satisfaction with Life Scale (Diener, Emmons, Larsen & Griffin, 1985); and
• The Global Happiness Scale (Lyubomirsky & Lepper, 1999)

When it comes to assessing eudaimonic happiness, most scholars apply Ryff and Keyes’ (1995) multidimensional measure of psychological wellbeing (PWB).

The creators’ development of the measure was spurred by their observation that previous studies had treated happiness as synonymous with a balance between positive and negative affect or overall satisfaction with one’s life.

They argued that these approaches were too data-driven and not rooted in theory or lived experience. Therefore, these scholars designed and validated a measure based on responses from a representative sample of telephone interviews (Ryff & Keyes, 1995).

This measure assesses eudaimonic happiness according to six sub-dimensions:

• Autonomy The ability to resist social pressures, regulate behavior from within, and evaluate oneself based on personal standards.
• Environmental mastery Feelings of mastery and competence in a variety of situations, the ability to take advantage of opportunities, and the ability to craft one’s environment to suit one’s needs and values.
• Personal growth Feelings of ongoing development, the realization of one’s potential, and observing oneself changing in ways that signify acquired knowledge and increased effectiveness.
• Positive relations with others Possessing warm, trusting relationships with others characterized by give and take, and the capacity for intimacy and empathy.
• Purpose in life Having goals and a sense of meaning and belief that gives life purpose.
• Self-acceptance Possessing a positive attitude toward oneself, including both one’s good and bad qualities.

Two versions of this scale are available. The first is the original 42-item measure (Ryff, 1989a; 1989b), and there is also a shortened 18-item version (Ryff & Keyes, 1995).

You can find the items for both of these scales, as well as scale anchors and scoring information on Stanford University’s website .

For another useful tool that attempts to reconcile the hedonic and eudaimonic perspectives of happiness, take a look at Hervás and Vázquez’s (2013) Pemberton Happiness Index (PHI).

Upon recognizing that existing assessments of happiness measured either hedonic or eudaimonic conceptualizations of happiness, these scholars sought to design and validate a brief, comprehensive measure that assessed both.

The final 21-item scale also has the advantage of capturing both remembered and experienced wellbeing (Kahneman & Riis, 2005).

The former relies on participants’ memory and judgment about their overall lives, using items like, “I feel able to solve the majority of my daily problems.” In contrast, the latter assesses real-time affective states and feelings about the previous day, using items like, “I learned something interesting.”

As for assessing happiness flowing from conceptualizations in mindfulness, many researchers have administered short scales that capture momentary changes in emotions via diary study.

The purpose of a diary study is to assess fluctuations in states (e.g., moods, thoughts, etc.) throughout a given day. This type of study design, sometimes called a within-person design , runs contrary to many studies in psychology, which typically compare differences between people.

As an example, Diener and colleagues (2010) designed the 12-item Scale of Positive and Negative Experience (SPANE), which was designed to be quickly administered and assess the full range of emotions and feelings a person may experience. The scale, therefore, contains both general and specific emotional terms, such as “pleasant” and “sad.”

Thanks to its brevity, this scale can easily be administered multiple times a day. Therefore, it has been applied in diary studies assessing fluctuations in mindfulness throughout a day. For instance, Ding and colleagues (2019) used the scale in a study examining the link between state mindfulness and present-moment emotions.

The results indicated that state mindfulness was positively related to positive emotions, like happiness and contentment, and negatively related to negative emotions, like depression and boredom.

These authors also found that present-moment rumination, which involves fixation on negative thoughts, partially mediated this effect. In other words, maintaining a mindful state of awareness appears to block ruminative thought partially, helping us to enjoy more positive emotions throughout any given day.

In sum, it’s clear psychologists have done much of the heavy lifting when it comes to developing measures of happiness.

As a practitioner looking to assess your clients’ happiness, you should use the information above as a guide to ensure the content validity of your chosen measure. That is, take care to select a scale that has been shown to effectively assess the conceptualization of happiness (e.g., hedonic, eudaimonic) that you apply in your practice.

Neurological measures of happiness

You may have noticed that the measures of happiness discussed so far have all been self-report in nature. That is, each relies on participants providing information about their own subjective sense of their happiness.

But is there a more objective way to measure happiness?

To answer this question, philosophers and psychologists have been turning to neuroscience to better understand what happiness looks like in the brain.

This research has involved the use of sophisticated technologies, such as PET and fMRI scans, and EEG measures of electrical activity in the brain to identify how happiness manifests physiologically. (Murphy, Nimmo-Smith & Lawrence, 2003; Phan, Wager, Taylor & Liberzon, 2002; Lindquist, Wager, Kober, Bliss-Moreau & Barrett, 2012)

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To recap, we now have three conceptualizations of happiness: hedonia, eudaimonia, and contentment rooted in mindfulness.

We also have two ways to measure each form of happiness: self-reports and various physiological indicators in the brain.

But the question remains: Is there a secret to finding true happiness?

What has hopefully become apparent is that this question is somewhat of a trick question because there is no agreed-upon understanding of what constitutes ‘true’ happiness.

Think about it.

Imagine racing to your favorite Mexican restaurant and arriving at the ordering counter moments before the restaurant is about to close. The server takes your order, and a few minutes later, you’re handed your favorite taco.

What action would a scholar of each ‘happiness philosophy’ recommend at this moment when you receive your meal?

To a believer of hedonism, happiness would likely represent the moment you bite into the taco and delight in its flavors on your tongue.

To philosophers of the eudaimonic perspective, happiness would more likely involve the ritual of eating with someone you care about, thereby strengthening your connection with that person. It could also mean reaching your potential as a budding cook by learning to create a similarly tasty dish or giving the taco to someone hungry and in need.

Finally, followers of the mindfulness-based perspective would argue that contentment can be found in any or all of the above actions but that it is the quality of your attention, paid to your intentions, sensations, emotions, and interactions with others, that would dictate the happiness you derived from whatever you chose to do with the taco.

In sum, these examples indicate that searching for one ‘true’ source of happiness may be feeding into a fallacy. Rather, there appear to be several pathways to pursuing different sources of happiness.

The remainder of this article will outline scientifically evidenced pathways to cultivating each of these three forms of happiness.

But before setting off on your search, heed one warning…

There are at least three critical bodies of theory, thinking, and research that point to why sacrificing life’s present joy’s chasing happiness is likely to make us paradoxically more miserable.

We have already touched on the first perspective, which is based on the philosophy of mindfulness.

This perspective encourages us to give up the search for happiness entirely, harness our attention, and discover that contentment that can exist in stillness, no matter what we yearn for or have yet to achieve (Harris, 2014).

According to this perspective, by failing to acknowledge that contentment is available to us at any given moment, we will remain dissatisfied. This is because even if we achieve all our goals and get everything we want, some newer, shinier source of happiness will always arise for us to chase.

In other words, the grass will always appear greener somewhere else, meaning it is important to look for happiness wherever we are presently standing.

The second body of thinking lies in empirical findings from the psychology of expectancies and goal-pursuit.

One study in the journal, Emotion (Mauss, Tamir, Anderson & Savino, 2011), found that those who reported valuing happiness highly experienced greater disappointment and ultimately less happiness when circumstances that should have made them happy failed to meet their expectations. In other words, the findings paradoxically suggest that the more we desire happiness, the less likely we are to experience it.

Likewise, there is evidence that placing too much importance on achieving challenging goals in the distant future may also be a recipe for misery.

One study found that students who perceived they made poor progress toward their ambitious life goals tended to exhibit significant depressive symptoms two years later (Salmela-Aro & Nurmi, 1996). Moreover, the study evidenced a downward spiral of depressive symptoms; disappointed students proceeded to derive less enjoyment from their goal pursuits, thereby worsening their symptoms.

Together, these findings highlight the danger of hanging all our hopes for being happy on the realization of future events .

A third reason why chasing happiness may be a mistake relates to a process known as hedonic adaptation (or the hedonic treadmill ). Hedonic adaptation is the observed tendency of humans to quickly adapt to a baseline level of happiness, regardless of significant life events (Brickman & Campbell, 1971).

Indeed, it has been shown that even if one wins a major lottery, the happiness that person derives from day-to-day activities in life will eventually return to baseline (Brickman, Coates & Janoff-Bulman, 1978).

This finding highlights that we should not overestimate the effect that significant life events will have on our long-term happiness, serving as yet another reason to call off the search for happiness (Grant, 2013).

In sum, it is important to recognize that happiness is not somewhere off in the distance. There is always something to be gained by pausing to reflect on our reasons to be happy right now, such as by practicing gratitude.

We will explore this and several other strategies to find hedonic, eudaimonic, and present-moment happiness in the remaining sections.

You don’t find happiness, you create it – Katarina Blom

You now understand a key pitfall to avoid in your search for happiness. Next, let’s consider eight different sources of happiness you can leverage today to find joy in your own life.

Finding happiness through neurotransmitters

The first effective way to boost hedonic happiness is to engage in healthy behaviors that directly target neurotransmitters associated with pleasure.

While there are many neurotransmitters that affect our happiness, there are a few key ones worth focusing on: dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins.

Dopamine, otherwise known as the “feel-good” hormone, is a key feature of the brain’s reward system and associated with pleasure. Dopamine can be triggered in many ways, including through exercise , a healthy diet, sufficient sleep, listening to music, meditating, and ensuring you get a little sunlight each day (Breuning, 2015; Hansen, Stevens & Coast, 2001).

Next is serotonin. This hormone plays an essential role in stabilizing our mood and can be triggered in many of the same ways as dopamine, such as by getting consistent sleep, exercise, and ensuring you maintain a balanced diet (Breuning, 2015; Roman, Walstra, Luiten & Meerlo, 2005).

Third is oxytocin, which is the hormone associated with love, bonding, and close connection. This hormone is boosted primarily through physical touch and closeness with others, meaning that hugs, cuddling, and even simply spending time with others can significantly increase our happiness (Breuning, 2015; Uvnäs-Moberg, Handlin & Petersson, 2015).

The final neurotransmitters to consider are endorphins, which reduce physical pain and act as your body’s natural reward system. To increase this hormone, try engaging in behaviors that are ‘good’ for you, such as exercising or demonstrating sincere acts of kindness (Breuning, 2015). Studies have also shown that consuming cocoa, such as that in dark chocolate, can trigger endorphins in the brain (Ottley, 2000).

This was just a brief snapshot into the neurochemical bases of happiness.

To learn more and gain a range of practical tips to naturally boost your neurochemical happiness, take a look at Dr. Loretta Breuning’s book, Habits of a Happy Brain .

Finding happiness through real goods

A next important step in the search for happiness is to work toward securing the basic necessities for wellbeing and development, or what Aristotle called real goods .

Real goods satisfy the natural needs of our bodies, such as our needs for warmth and sustenance. Examples of such real goods include food, clothing, health, shelter, and safety (Moss, 2012).

We might liken this conceptualization to that of the lower levels of Maslow’s hierarchy , which argues that humans must satisfy basic physiological and safety-related needs before pursuing higher-order needs like esteem and self-actualization.

However, real goods also include “goods of the soul,” such as love, arts, music, and literature (Joseph, 2019). These goods clearly tap into the higher levels of Maslow’s hierarchy, and without them, it may be challenging to achieve eudaimonic happiness.

For instance, without a secure shelter in which to gain adequate rest, we would likely lack the energy to develop a new talent, such as painting. Nor would we gain this talent without exposure to sources of inspiration, such as other artists’ work or cultural influences.

In sum, Aristotle’s principles regarding real goods highlight two courses of action for improving happiness.

First, take steps toward securing the basics for your health and wellbeing. This means eating well, engaging in regular exercise, securing a stable income, and getting plenty of sleep.

Secondly, immerse yourself in environments that will bring out your best. For example, surround yourself with good company, knowledge, and cultures. In practice, this may mean stepping outside your comfort zone by meeting new people, learning new skills, or visiting new places.

Finding happiness through gratitude

Many studies stemming from the eudaimonic and mindfulness-based perspectives point to the practice of gratitude as a key source of happiness.

Gratitude can be defined as “the appreciation of what is valuable and meaningful to oneself… [representing] a general state of thankfulness and/or appreciation” (Sansone & Sansone, 2010, p. 18).

Two simple ways to practice gratitude include taking a moment at the end of the day to reflect on an occurrence for which you were grateful and sending a thoughtful message of appreciation to someone you care about.

For more ideas, take a look at some of our dedicated articles on this topic:

• 13 Most Popular Gratitude Exercises & Activities
• 41+ Gratitude Messages, Letters and Lists
• How To Express Gratitude to Others (19 Ideas + Gifts & Challenges)
• Gratitude Journal: A Collection of 66 Templates, Ideas, and Apps for Your Diary

Finding happiness through flow

Another way to achieve happiness is to take part in activities that bring about the experience of flow, otherwise known as the feeling of “being in the zone.”

In an interview, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi , the researcher credited with having popularized the concept of flow, explained that those in a state of flow are:

…completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’re using your skills to the utmost.

(Geirland, 1996)

Examples of just a few activities that can generate flow include games, sports, dancing, cooking, gardening, work, driving, and artistic pursuits (Csikszentmihalyi, 1990).

Most followers of the eudaimonic perspective would view the flow experience as an indicator of eudaimonia. This is because flow experiences entail an optimal level of challenge, enabling us to develop our talents to their fullest (Csikszentmihalyi, 1990).

For more ideas on how to cultivate flow in your life, look at our dedicated articles on the topic:

• The Psychology and Theory Behind Flow
• 11 Activities and Exercises to Induce a Flow State (+ 6 Examples)
• What is Flow in Psychology? Definition and 10+ Activities to Induce Flow
• Flow at Work: The Science of Engagement and Optimal Performance

Finding happiness by living into our values

Several studies have found that making intentional efforts to live in congruence with our values can bolster our happiness or at least buffer against unhappiness (Brown, 2018; Veage et al., 2014).

For clarity, we can define values as “stable, general beliefs about what is desirable” (Feather, 1992, p. 111). Examples of values include fairness, creativity, and freedom.

Understanding our values is critical to achieving eudaimonic happiness because the eudaimonic perspective of happiness encourages us to engage in what is worth doing (Boniwell, 2008). In order to know what is worth doing, we must understand which actions generate valued outcomes, and we can only know this by looking closely at our core values.

Scientists and practitioners have developed a range of useful exercises to help individuals discover their core values. You can learn more about these in several of our other articles:

• 25 Values Worksheets to Enrich Your Clients’ Lives With More Meaning
• The 3 Best Questionnaires for Measuring Values
• Values Clarification: How Reflection On Core Values Is Used In CBT

Once you are clear on your core values, you can take steps to behave in a way that is congruent with these values, helping you live a happier life.

For instance, if you discover that one of your core values is growth, you might then consider the different ways to enact this value in day-to-day life. This could involve registering for a night class or pursuing new intellectual pursuits through reading.

Research also shows that the alignment between our values and professional pursuits plays an important role in determining our overall happiness (Chatman, 1989; Kristof-Brown, Zimmerman & Johnson, 2005).

Based on this, we see the emergence of research on job crafting , which involves altering one’s work to better align it with our preferences (Zhang & Parker, 2019), and that on hiring practices that facilitate good person-job fit (Sekiguchi, 2004).

Therefore, organizational leaders and HR professionals may wish to dig further into some of these concepts to strengthen the happiness of their staff.

Finding happiness through needs satisfaction

One prominent theory of happiness posits that to be happy, we must engage in behaviors that satisfy our three core human needs (Ryan & Deci, 2008):

• the need for competence (feeling effective);
• the need for autonomy (the feeling of being the origin of one’s behavior); and
• the need for psychological relatedness (feeling cared for and understood by other people).

Overall, the satisfaction of these needs represents an avenue for achieving happiness that falls under the eudaimonic conceptualization. This is because need satisfaction promotes long-term wellness rather than just temporary pleasure (Boniwell, 2008).

For a simple assessment to determine your overall satisfaction of core needs within your life, consider completing the 21-item Basic Needs Satisfaction in General Scale (BNSG-S; Gagné, 2003).

Upon completing the assessment, one can calculate their total score for each core need and identify an area for growth as a first step toward fostering greater eudaimonic happiness.

For instance, if you discover that your lowest-scoring need is competence, you might consider whether you can engage in work or hobbies that better utilize your skills, enabling you to derive a greater sense of competence from daily activities.

Again, this was just a brief snapshot into the science of needs satisfaction as a mechanism for achieving happiness. To learn more, look at our dedicated article on self-determination .

Finding happiness through mindfulness

Finally, and at the core of the mindfulness-based approach to finding happiness is the practice of mindfulness itself.

Mindfulness is typically defined as the practice of bringing one’s attention to the internal and external experiences occurring in the present moment, such as sensations, sights, thoughts, and emotions (Baer, 2003; Kabat-Zinn, 1994).

Mindfulness has existed for centuries and was first popularized among eastern traditions. The practice functions to better understand feelings and motivations, train the capacity for attention and relaxation, and free one’s mind from overidentification with negative thoughts and emotions (Fronsdal, 2004; 2006; Harris, 2014).

Often, regular meditation will lie at the core of mindfulness practice. However, other approaches to developing mindfulness can include journaling and yoga .

No matter how you practice mindfulness, the aim is typically for the practice’s benefits to spill over into your experience of day-to-day consciousness, enabling you to return to states of mindful awareness throughout your day and not be at the whim of negative thoughts and emotions.

If you’re interested in cultivating greater happiness through mindfulness, we have a range of articles throughout our blog to help you learn more:

• Mindfulness Meditation Videos, Exercises, Books and Courses (+PDF)
• How To Practice Mindfulness: 10 Practical Steps and Tips
• Practicing Mindfulness in Groups: 9 Activities and Exercises
• 18 Mindfulness Games, Worksheets and Activities for Kids

As with any behavior change, becoming happier requires that one form new, positive habits. For instance, if you wish to target happiness through neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, a first step may be to develop routines and habits associated with good sleep and regular exercise.

Likewise, if you wish to cultivate happiness through regular gratitude practice, commit to setting aside fifteen minutes each evening to fill in a gratitude journal.

Here are three tips related to the science of habit formation to help you develop your new habits for happiness.

First, set a goal to strengthen your happiness using a goal-setting framework . By using a framework to set a happiness goal, you can avoid accidentally setting a goal that is too vague, easily track your progress, and rest assured knowing your goal is realistic and within your reach.

Second, keep in mind that it takes approximately two months for a new behavior to become an automatic habit (Lally, van Jaarsveld, Potts & Wardle, 2010), so do whatever it takes to commit to your goal for at least this long.

That way, you can see if your new practice has enduring benefits and becomes easier with time. For instance, you may find you need to set daily reminders for yourself (e.g., to journal, settle in for bed) for a couple of months until your new habit becomes automatic.

Finally, consider linking up with a friend or small group and commit to becoming happier together. In the same way that groups like AA and Weight Watchers can help their members develop better habits associated with health, you can work with others to stay accountable and get support if you face any hurdles in your pursuit of greater happiness.

17 Exercises To Increase Happiness and Wellbeing

Add these 17 Happiness & Subjective Well-Being Exercises [PDF] to your toolkit and help others experience greater purpose, meaning, and positive emotions.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

The aim of cultivating human happiness is at the core of positive psychology.

It should, therefore, be no surprise that we have linked to many of our other posts exploring different approaches to fostering happiness throughout our discussion.

Now that you hopefully have a better sense of what you’re searching for when thinking about your own happiness, as well as pitfalls to avoid, we encourage you to select one area for growth. Once you’ve chosen an area, follow the links to read more and commit to developing one new habit for happiness.

By doing this, you’re letting go of the false conception of ‘true’ happiness as something elusive and far off in the future. Instead, you’ll be acknowledging happiness as something that can be achieved little-by-little, right now.

And if you ever find yourself getting lost in your search for happiness, consider reflecting on this famous quote:

Happiness is a journey, not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it’s too late. The time for happiness is today not tomorrow.

Paul H. Dunn

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Happiness Exercises for free .

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Everyone has to realize that every person is going thru their own thing, every single person is different very different from one another. just because a person is learning something doing something at the same time as u does not mean they are disappointed at u also learning it the same time but rather are shocked because they thought of u as something bigger knowing it all. So just explain something that u went thru different from that person not to compare but to rather say u know dude/dudette I know I may seem big but I am I just was lost all my life and it makes me, however, feel privileged that I’m going thru the same thing as yourself though, it means a lot.

Hi i want to quickly share my story how i get rid of anxieties, not being happy and knowing who i am so it can help someone. I was looking for someting to fullfill my heart and be happy during my growing up i was searching all over internet and trying all the stuff. I was so despered that i even went to psychiatrist and psychologist so i tried that but nothing helped me. I went into spiritual teaching from buddhism to all the other and even shamanic ceremonies but still didnt found answers and fell more and more down. I felt like i really need change and new life. Then on youtube i found video from “last reformation” it shows followers of christ on streets healing the sick. I saw the proof of someting finaly. When i saw it i believed and through the map on their webside i found someone to baptise me. When i went to bathtub to be baptise i felt someting happened to my heart like some power cleansed me from all the bad stuff. Then i felt someting like heavenly honey being poured on me and i got filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues. After that i was crying with happiness becouse i knew that what happened was real and i finnaly found it. From that day i have never been the same and i found myself in Jesus. Becouse everyone who calls on him will be saved.

“Thanks for sharing this information about how to happy? Really a nice source of information about all people. I actually added your blog to my favorites list and look forward to getting the same quality content every time I visit your blog. Thank you”

wow, awesome article post. Fantastic

Great article. I was recently looking for ways to happiness. If you are on a similar quest I can also highly recommend Eisner Fjord’s “Simple ways to find happiness” where he interviewed hundreds of happy people to find their recipe for happiness. check him out on amazon

Nice post. According to me happiness is all around us. We just need to acknowledge.

Currently, I think I’m not happy with myself. I’m not sure what makes a person happy so I’ll buy inspirational books about happiness from a good store. Thanks for the ideas about what I can do to get better mentally, so hopefully the book has some ideas about it as well.

DFS thanks for the words of wisdom. All it takes is a little positive enhancement to becoming and having some faith on how we can maintain on just being happy. It’s so simple but I tend to make it complicated. I need to be more alive in staying healthy and more energetic to stay healthy. It feels good to be able to be somewhat flexible. Stretching has opened the door for me to feeling better.

Amazing article, very informative and non-fictional. I would love to read more of articles from this author/writer in the future.

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Originally published on Nov. 15, 2017

How to Be Happy

By Tara Parker-Pope

Illustrations by Esther Aarts

Behavioral scientists have spent a lot of time studying what makes us happy (and what doesn’t). We know happiness can predict health and longevity, and happiness scales can be used to measure social progress and the success of public policies. But happiness isn’t something that just happens to you. Everyone has the power to make small changes in our behavior, our surroundings and our relationships that can help set us on course for a happier life.

Happiness often comes from within. Learn how to tame negative thoughts and approach every day with optimism.

Conquer Negative Thinking

All humans have a tendency to be a bit more like Eeyore than Tigger, to ruminate more on bad experiences than positive ones. It’s an evolutionary adaptation — over-learning from the dangerous or hurtful situations we encounter through life (bullying, trauma, betrayal) helps us avoid them in the future and react quickly in a crisis.

But that means you have to work a little harder to train your brain to conquer negative thoughts. Here’s how:

Don’t try to stop negative thoughts. Telling yourself “I have to stop thinking about this,” only makes you think about it more. Instead, own your worries. When you are in a negative cycle, acknowledge it. “I’m worrying about money.” “I’m obsessing about problems at work.”

Treat yourself like a friend. When you are feeling negative about yourself, ask yourself what advice would you give a friend who was down on herself. Now try to apply that advice to you.

Challenge your negative thoughts . Socratic questioning is the process of challenging and changing irrational thoughts. Studies show that this method can reduce depression symptoms. The goal is to get you from a negative mindset (“I’m a failure.”) to a more positive one (“I’ve had a lot of success in my career. This is just one setback that doesn’t reflect on me. I can learn from it and be better.”) Here are some examples of questions you can ask yourself to challenge negative thinking.

First, write down your negative thought, such as “I’m having problems at work and am questioning my abilities.”

Then ask yourself: “What is the evidence for this thought?”

“Am I basing this on facts? Or feelings?”

“Could I be misinterpreting the situation?”

“How might other people view the situation differently?

“How might I view this situation if it happened to someone else?”

The bottom line: Negative thinking happens to all of us, but if we recognize it and challenge that thinking, we are taking a big step toward a happier life.

Controlled Breathing

Science is just beginning to provide evidence that the benefits of this ancient practice are real. Studies have found, for example, that breathing practices can help reduce symptoms associated with anxiety, insomnia, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and attention deficit disorder. For centuries yogis have used breath control, or pranayama, to promote concentration and improve vitality. Buddha advocated breath-meditation as a way to reach enlightenment.

Rewrite Your Story

Writing about oneself and personal experiences — and then rewriting your story — can lead to behavioral changes and improve happiness. (We already know that expressive writing can improve mood disorders and help reduce symptoms among cancer patients , among other health benefits.)

Some research suggests that writing in a personal journal for 15 minutes a day can lead to a boost in overall happiness and well-being, in part because it allows us to express our emotions, be mindful of our circumstances and resolve inner conflicts. Or you can take the next step and focus on one particular challenge you face, and write and rewrite that story.

We all have a personal narrative that shapes our view of the world and ourselves. But sometimes our inner voice doesn’t get it right. By writing and then editing our own stories, we can change our perceptions of ourselves and identify obstacles that stand in the way of our personal well-being. The process is similar to Socratic questioning (referenced above). Here’s a writing exercise:

Write a brief story about your struggle. I’m having money problems. I am having a hard time making friends in a new city. I’m never going to find love. I’m fighting with my spouse.

Now write a new story from the viewpoint of a neutral observer, or with the kind of encouragement you’d give a friend.

Money is a challenge but you can take steps to get yourself into financial shape.

Everyone struggles in their first year in a new city. Give it some time. Join some groups.

Don’t focus on finding love. Focus on meeting new people and having fun. The rest will follow.

Couples argue. Here’s what your situation looks like to a neutral observer.

Numerous studies show that writing and rewriting your story can move you out of your negative mindset and into a more positive view of life. “The idea here is getting people to come to terms with who they are, where they want to go,” said James Pennebaker, a psychology professor at the University of Texas who has pioneered much of the research on expressive writing. “I think of expressive writing as a life course correction.”

When people get up and move, even a little, they tend to be happier than when they are still. A study that tracked the movement and moods of cellphone users found that people reported the most happiness if they had been moving in the past 15 minutes than when they had been sitting or lying down. Most of the time it wasn’t rigorous activity but just gentle walking that left them in a good mood. Of course, we don’t know if moving makes you happy or if happy people just move more, but we do know that more activity goes hand-in-hand with better health and greater happiness.

Practice Optimism

Optimism is part genetic, part learned. Even if you were born into a family of gloomy Guses, you can still find your inner ray of sunshine. Optimism doesn’t mean ignoring the reality of a dire situation. After a job loss, for instance, many people may feel defeated and think, “I’ll never recover from this.” An optimist would acknowledge the challenge in a more hopeful way, saying, “This is going to be difficult, but it’s a chance to rethink my life goals and find work that truly makes me happy.”

And thinking positive thoughts and surrounding yourself with positive people really does help. Optimism, like pessimism, can be infectious. So make a point to hang out with optimistic people.

Where you live — the country, the town, your neighborhood and your home — all have an effect on your overall happiness.

Finding Your Happy Place

Imagine a ladder, with steps numbered from zero at the bottom to 10 at the top. The top of the ladder represents the best possible life for you and the bottom of the ladder represents the worst possible life for you. On which step of the ladder would you say you personally feel you stand at this time?

This so-called happiness ladder is famously used as a way to measure and compare happiness across the globe. The “World Happiness Report” ranks countries based on the subjective well-being and happiness of people who live there and their responses to the ladder test. Here are the 10 happiest countries on Earth:

Countries you’d expect to be happy — those with strong economies and quality of life — are still pretty happy, even though many fell short of the top 10 and could improve policies to make their citizens even happier. The United States (6.892) is ranked 19. France (6.592) ranked 24. Japan (5.886) was 58.

The least happy places on Earth are not surprising. They tend to be countries that have experienced war, natural disasters and hardship: 152. Rwanda (3.334) 153. Tanzania (3.231) 154. Afghanistan (3.203) 155. Central African Republic (3.083) 156. South Sudan (2.853).

One thing we’ve learned from the happiness report is that there are six variables that explain differences in human happiness across countries:

The research is intended for use at the public policy level, but there are lessons to learn at the personal level as well. Find a sustaining and satisfying job; do your best to live in a happy place; surround yourself with social support; take care of your health; and be generous (in spirit, time and money) in order to pave your own personal road to happiness.

Choosing a Happy Community

What factors make a community a place where people are happy? The Knight Foundation and Gallup interviewed 43,000 people in 26 communities to find out.

Openness : People are happy when they live in a community that is welcoming to all.

Beauty : Living in a scenic, picturesque or charming community, with lots of trees and green space, makes people happier.

Social opportunities : When a community is designed to foster social connections — restaurants, community spaces, sidewalks, trails and other public spaces — people are happier.

The lesson is that where you live can have a profound effect on your happiness. If you don’t fit in, if you don’t know your neighbors, if walking outside doesn’t put a spring in your step — find a new place to live if you can afford it. Explore new neighborhoods, rent before you buy, talk to friends, talk to potential neighborhoods and relocate your way to a happier life. The key, says Jay Walljasper, author of “How to Design Our World for Happiness,” is to find a place where neighbors can encounter each other spontaneously. Look for neighborhoods with a green commons, sidewalks, parks, street festivals and community gatherings. If you’re in the city, choose an apartment with a shared backyard or a street known for its Halloween festival or a community newsletter. Look for signs that the people there are connected and create opportunities to connect with each other on a regular basis.

Spend Time in Nature

Numerous studies support the notion that spending time in nature is good for you. We know that walking on quiet, tree-lined paths can result in meaningful improvements to mental health, and even physical changes to the brain. Nature walkers have “quieter” brains: scans show less blood flow to the part of the brain associated with rumination. Some research shows that even looking at pictures of nature can improve your mood.

Sunlight also makes a difference. Seasonal affective disorder is real. Epidemiological studies estimate that its prevalence in the adult population ranges from 1.4 percent (Florida) to 9.7 percent (New Hampshire). Natural light exposure — by spending time outside or living in a space with natural light — is good for your mood.

Declutter (But Save What Makes You Happy)

Getting organized is unquestionably good for both mind and body — reducing risks for falls, helping eliminate germs and making it easier to find things like medicine and exercise gear.

Excessive clutter and disorganization are often symptoms of a bigger health problem. People who have suffered an emotional trauma or a brain injury often find housecleaning an insurmountable task. Attention deficit disorder, depression , chronic pain and grief can prevent people from getting organized or lead to a buildup of clutter. At its most extreme, chronic disorganization is called hoarding, a condition many experts believe is a mental illness in its own right, although psychiatrists have yet to formally recognize it. While hoarders are a minority, many psychologists and organization experts say the rest of us can learn from them. The spectrum from cleanliness to messiness includes large numbers of people who are chronically disorganized and suffering either emotionally, physically or socially.

The chronically-messy person can change through behavioral therapy or with guidance from numerous self-help books on the topic. The goal, says the happiness guru Gretchen Rubin , is to free yourself from the weight of meaningless clutter but still surround yourself with useful, beloved things, ranging from a child’s art work to your grandmother’s tea cup collection. Get rid of the rest.

Some tips from the self-help, de-cluttering movement:

Fold things neatly.

Keep only items that make you truly happy.

Throw away papers — all of them.

Put all your clothes in one pile on the bed, then start discarding, keeping only those you wear and love.

Organize your closet by color.

Pick one thing to preserve a memory. Sentimentality breeds clutter. If your grandmother had 10 collections, choose one item from each — or pick the one collection that triggers the best memories.

Stop buying tchotchkes on vacation. Take a picture.

Spend money on experiences, not things.

Take pictures of children’s school projects. Keep a few items from the year, and keep culling year after year.

The 1-Minute Rule

One of my favorite bits of happiness advice comes from Ms. Rubin, author of “Happiness at Home” and many other useful guides and articles on happiness and good habits. She proffers a one-minute rule that I have found incredibly useful in my own life. Here it is:

Do any task that can be finished in one minute.

This simple sage advice helps you decide what to tackle in a messy room. Do the one-minute tasks first. Here’s her list:

Hang up a coat.

Read a letter and toss it.

Fill in a form.

Answer an email.

Jot down a citation.

Pick up phone messages.

File a paper.

Put a dish in the dishwasher.

Put away the magazines.

If you do nothing else, incorporate the one-minute rule into your life. It will give you a short boost of happiness after you accomplish so much in a short time — and as a bonus, you will end up with a cleaner room, which will also make you happy.

Good Things Happen in the Bedroom

A lot of potential for happiness happens in the bedroom. It’s the place where we sleep, have sex and retreat for quiet contemplation — all of which are activities that can improve happiness. As a result, many people who study and write about happiness encourage people to focus on life in the bedroom.

A “living well” index created by British researchers found that the two strongest indicators of wellness being were sleep and sex. People who feel rested most of the time are happier than people who don’t. The same can be said for people who are happy with their sex lives — they are happier overall than people with less-than-satisfactory sex lives.

So as you think about your living space and how it’s affecting your happiness, make the bedroom a high priority.

Turn your bedroom into a luxury hotel suite. Think of the feeling you get when you escape to a nice hotel on vacation. Capture that in your home every day.

Invest in comfort. Buy comfortable sheets, pillows and bedding and a quality mattress.

Don’t skimp on window treatments . Blocking out light will help you sleep better.

Remove the television . Bedrooms are havens for sleep, sex and contemplation, not screen time.

Make the bed. Ms. Rubin says that in talking to people about their own “Happiness Projects” and the small steps they take to be happier, she hears one remarkably consistent task — they make the bed. Making the bed starts your day off with a small accomplishment, and you can end your day returning to a neat, tidy welcoming retreat.

We tend to be happier when we connect with other people.

Spend Time With Happy People

Studies consistently show that our own happiness is linked with the happiness of others. One of the ways we know this is from the Framingham Heart Study, a massive study started in 1948 that has tracked three generations of participants. The study was designed to identify risk factors for heart disease, resulting in reams of data on health, food, fitness habits, stress, family issues and happiness.

To measure happiness, the Framingham study asked people how often they experienced certain feelings during the previous week.

I felt hopeful about the future.

I was happy.

I enjoyed life.

I felt that I was just as good as other people.

Yale scientists decided to mine the data to study happiness and social networks . The structure of the study allowed them to track changes in happiness over time. And because the scientists who designed the study wanted to keep track of people, they asked participants to identify their relatives, close friends, place of residence and place of work. The result was a complete picture of the participants’ social networks.

After parsing the data, the Yale researchers reached a number of conclusions about happiness:

People’s happiness depends on the happiness of others with whom they are connected.

Social networks have clusters of happy and unhappy people.

A person’s happiness extends to three degrees of separation — meaning that it can influence (and be influenced by) their friends, their friends’ friends, and the friends of people who are friends of their friends.

People who are surrounded by many happy people are more likely to become happy in the future.

Each additional happy friend increases your chance of happiness by about 9 percent.

Geography matters. Our happiness increases when we live close to happy friends and family members.

Cats and Dogs Make Us Happy

Psychologists conducted a series of experiments to determine the role that pets play in our happiness. They found that pet owners were happier, healthier and better adjusted than were non-owners. Pet owners said they received as much support from their pets as they did family members. And people who were emotionally closer to the pets also tended to have deeper ties to the humans in their lives.

Dog owners who felt a strong connection to their pets were happier and healthier. And in one expressive writing exercise, writing about pets was just as effective as writing about a friend when it came to staving off feelings of rejection, according to the report published by the American Psychological Association.

You Can Be Happy Alone

Many people think of their marriages as a source of happiness. That’s great, but it doesn’t mean that if you’re not married that you won’t be happy.

In one study of 24,000 people in Germany over 15 years, researchers found that getting married only triggered a small bump in happiness, measured as one-tenth of a point on an 11 point scale. Of course, there were big variations among individuals. Some people were much happier after marriage; and sadly, some were much less happy after getting married. The bottom line was that if you are already a happy person, you will not gain much extra happiness from marriage , probably because you already have a rich social network. The extra companionship of marriage, while nice, doesn’t have a marked impact on your overall sense of happiness.

At the same time, if you lack a strong social network, you will get a bigger happiness benefit from partnering up. At the same time, a married person with a limited social network will suffer more after divorce or the death of a spouse. Here’s what we know about relationships and happiness:

Individual personality tends to influence overall happiness, married or not.

Happier people are more likely to get married.

Marriage triggers a short bump in happiness, but after two years, everyone settles back to pretty much the same level of happy they were before getting married.

The more isolated you are now, the bigger the happiness benefit you will get from getting married.

The lesson: Improving all of our social connections and relationships is good for overall happiness. But if you are not married, or don’t have a happy marriage, you can still improve your happiness by nurturing your friendships and social connections.

More money won’t necessarily make you happier, but finding meaningful work and a little extra time will.

Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness

We know you don’t believe us. So tell us, what do you think will make you happy? More money? A bigger house? A dream job?

Most of the time, what we think will make us happy actually won’t. Studies show that happiness doesn’t come from more money or more stuff. Even lottery winners are not any happier than those of us who never win anything.

Of course, truly poor people are happier with more money because they don’t have to worry about getting enough to eat, having a home or paying for medicine. But once people escape poverty and achieve a middle-class or slightly higher lifestyle, more money does not result in significantly more happiness.

The constant quest for the things we don’t have is called the hedonic treadmill. It means that when we get what we want (money, job, love, house) we may get a burst of happiness, but we quickly settle back to our previous level of happiness and then start thinking about the next thing that will make us happy.

Find Purpose at Work

We like to complain about work, but it plays an important role in our happiness. Work, even the most mundane work, helps us feed our families, put roofs over our heads and connect with other people.

Ideally, we will find work that has meaning to us. But not everybody can quit their day job and pursue charity work or join Teach for America. As a result, it’s important that we find ways to find meaning in our day-to-day work.

Studies show that we get satisfaction from all kinds of work — not just our dream job. Yale researchers studied custodians who worked in a hospital. Far from seeing the drudgery of their jobs, the janitors had unofficially broadened the definition of hospital custodial work. Many of them viewed their work as including providing comfort to patients, helping families find their way around the hospital and providing a clean, pleasant environment for doctors and nurses to do their work and for patients to heal.

Even people who do telephone solicitation — viewed by many as the bottom of the career ladder — can find satisfaction in work. Wharton professor Adam Grant arranged for a student to talk about the difference his scholarship made to his life. After the talk, the phone solicitors hired to raise money for the school’s scholarship fund raised almost double the money as they had before. The work and pay hadn’t changed, but their sense of purpose had.

In a column about Why You Hate Work , Christine Porath, a Georgetown associate professor, and Tony Schwartz, chief executive of a consulting firm called The Energy Project , found that the jobs that make us happiest are those that include four characteristics: renewal, value, focus and purpose.

Renewal: Employees who take a break every 90 minutes report a 30 percent higher level of focus than those who take no breaks or just one during the day. They also report a nearly 50 percent greater capacity to think creatively and a 46 percent higher level of health and well-being. The more hours people work beyond 40 — and the more continuously they work — the worse they feel, and the less engaged they become. By contrast, feeling encouraged by one’s supervisor to take breaks increases by nearly 100 percent people’s likelihood to stay with any given company, and also doubles their sense of health and well-being.

Value: Feeling cared for by one’s supervisor has a more significant impact on people’s sense of trust and safety than any other behavior by a leader. Employees who say they have more supportive supervisors are 1.3 times as likely to stay with the organization and are 67 percent more engaged.

Focus: Only 20 percent of respondents said they were able to focus on one task at a time at work, but those who could were 50 percent more engaged. Similarly, only one-third of respondents said they were able to effectively prioritize their tasks, but those who did were 1.6 times better able to focus on one thing at a time.

Purpose: Employees who derive meaning and significance from their work were more than three times as likely to stay with their organizations — the highest single impact of any variable in our survey. These employees also reported 1.7 times higher job satisfaction and they were 1.4 times more engaged at work.

Buying Time Promotes Happiness

When you are deciding how to spend your money, consider buying some more time. Harvard researchers found that spending money on convenience items and time-saving services help can lower stress and make us happier.

In two surveys of more than 6,000 people in the United States, Canada, Denmark and the Netherlands, the researchers found that when people spent money to save time, (such as ordering takeout food, taking a cab, hiring household help or paying someone to run an errand) they were happier than those who didn’t.

Now it’s possible that people who can afford time-saving help are happier to begin with. But in another experiment, Canadians were given $80 over two weekends and told to spend it on material items or time-saving purchases. The time-savers had less time-related stress and a bigger increase in well-being.

But even very wealthy people can sometimes feel reluctant and guilty about the indulgence of spending money on maids, messengers and other helpers. But do it anyway if you can afford it. Giving yourself the gift of more time, if you can afford it, is a quick and convenient way to a happier life.

Being kind to others is a proven path toward happiness. And don’t forget to be kind to yourself as well.

Be Generous

Generosity makes people happier. As we noted earlier, generosity is one of the six variables found to consistently influence happiness in the World Happiness Report . And several studies have found that people who behaved generously were happier compared to people who made selfish decisions. In fact, just thinking about being generous and kind triggers a happiness reaction in our brains.

In a series of experiments in New Zealand, 50 people were promised 25 Swiss francs every week for four weeks (That’s about $25 a week in United States dollars). Half of the people were told to spend the money on themselves. The other half was instructed to spend the money on someone they knew.

The groups went through a series of exercises making decisions about how much money to give away in various scenarios. While the study subjects were making these decisions, the scientists were measuring brain activity in the parts of the brain where generosity, happiness and decision-making are processed.

The researchers found that simply promising to be generous activated neural changes related to happiness. And the more generous people were happier overall than those who behaved more selfishly. The lesson is obvious: If you’re feeling blue, be generous with your money, your time and your resources. You will be glad you did.

Related Guide

How to Make a Plan for Giving

Most of us want to give. But then we’re faced with the predicament of figuring out the details. This guide helps you come up with answers to all those questions and set a plan for giving that works for you.

Volunteering is linked to health benefits like lower blood pressure and decreased mortality rates . We also know that volunteering builds your resilience — your ability to bounce back from trauma, grief and other small and big setbacks in life.

A University of Exeter study found that volunteering is essentially a prescription for happiness that can prolong your life and make your years on earth better in many ways. After reviewing 40 studies on volunteerism, the researchers found that volunteering was associated with less depression, more life satisfaction and greater well being. In five large studies of volunteerism, volunteers had a 22 percent lower mortality rate during the study period.

Of course, it’s possible that happier people are simply more likely to volunteer. But overall, the evidence supports a strong link between giving and happiness, and that includes giving your time to others.

Give Yourself a Break

Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?

That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.

But it’s time to give yourself a break and work on self compassion. People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, and tend to be happier and more optimistic.

Kristin Neff, a University of Texas psychologist, is the author of “Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.” Dr. Neff has developed a self-compassion scale to help people measure their own levels of compassion for themselves. Take this mini-test to see if you are hard on yourself or more likely to give yourself a break. Use a scale of 1 to 5 with 1 being “less likely to feel that way” and 5 being “very likely to feel that way.”

I’m disapproving and judgmental about my own flaws and inadequacies.

When I’m feeling down I tend to obsess and fixate on everything that’s wrong.

When I fail at something important to me I become consumed by feelings of inadequacy.

When times are really difficult, I tend to be tough on myself.

When I see aspects of myself that I don’t like, I get down on myself.

When things are going badly for me, I see the difficulties as part of life that everyone goes through.

When something upsets me I try to keep my emotions in balance.

When something painful happens I try to take a balanced view of the situation.

When I fail at something important to me I try to keep things in perspective.

I’m tolerant of my own flaws and inadequacies.

It’s pretty obvious that if you score high on the first five questions and low on the rest, you are pretty tough on yourself. If your higher scores were in questions six to 10, then you are doing a pretty good job of practicing self compassion.

For those low on the self-compassion scale, Dr. Neff suggests a set of exercises — like writing yourself a letter of support, just as you might to a friend you are concerned about. Listing your best and worst traits, reminding yourself that nobody is perfect and thinking of steps you might take to help you feel better about yourself are also recommended.

Other exercises include meditation and “compassion breaks,” which involve repeating mantras like “I’m going to be kind to myself in this moment.”

Dr. Neff reminds us that it takes practice to be nice to yourself.

“The problem is that it’s hard to unlearn habits of a lifetime,” she said. “People have to actively and consciously develop the habit of self-compassion.”

Tara Parker-Pope is a columnist covering health, behavior and relationships. She is the founding editor of Well, The Times's award-winning consumer health site. More about Tara Parker-Pope

Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

Big Ideas Articles & More

A better way to pursue happiness, trying to be happy can be a recipe for unhappiness. but researcher lahnna catalino explains how to go about it effectively..

We all want to be happy. And science shows that happiness not only feels great but also predicts better physical health and even a higher paycheck .

But how do we pursue happiness effectively? After all, some recent scientific research actually cautions us against the pursuit of happiness. For instance, a study led by Iris Mauss, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, found that people instructed to feel happier while watching a pleasant film clip ended up feeling worse than people instructed just to watch the clip. Findings like this are echoed in the popular press: Writer Ruth Whippman argued in a recent New York Times piece that the pursuit of happiness is a “recipe for neurosis.”

But is this the whole story? Are we doomed to fail at the pursuit of happiness?

It depends. The difference between effectively and ineffectively pursuing happiness may all be in how we go about it. Research suggests that people who strive to feel happy all of the time may suffer disappointment, and people who pursue happiness as if it were the only thing that matters may, ironically, chase happiness away. 

But these are not the only ways you can go about pursuing happiness. Another approach involves what I call “prioritizing positivity”: deliberately organizing your day-to-day life so that it contains situations that naturally give rise to positive emotions. This way of pursuing happiness involves carving out time in your daily routine to do things that you genuinely love, whether it be writing, gardening, or connecting with loved ones. Prioritizing positivity also involves heavily weighing the positive emotional consequences of major life decisions, like taking a new job, which have implications for the daily situations in which you will regularly find yourself. This way of pursuing happiness means proactively putting yourself in contexts that spontaneously trigger positive emotions. 

For years I’ve studied prioritizing positivity, and through scientific research, I’ve found that it goes hand-in-hand with optimal mental health. That is, the people who pursue happiness by seeking out pleasant experiences as part of their everyday lives are happier. In stark contrast, people who strive to feel good every possible moment, as if it were possible to will oneself to be happy, appear to be following a recipe for unhappiness.

To test whether people are happier if they proactively seek out pleasant experiences as part of the framework for their everyday lives, I developed a prioritizing positivity scale to measure this tendency. The scale asks people how much they agree with statements such as, “What I decide to do with my time outside of work is influenced by how much I might experience positive emotions,” “My major decisions in life are influenced by how much I might experience positive emotions,” and “A priority for me is experiencing happiness in everyday life.” Together with Barbara Fredrickson and Sara Algoe, both professors of psychology at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, I hypothesized that people who scored higher on prioritizing positivity would be happier and less depressed. Why did we predict this? One reason is that prioritizing positivity involves monitoring one’s daily itinerary, not one’s moment-to-moment emotional experience. As research has revealed, the mere act of monitoring one’s happiness from one second to the next may get in the way of positive emotions. By contrast, we thought a more effective strategy would be “situation selection,” which involves approaching (or avoiding) situations that naturally trigger certain emotions. Going for a walk with your partner after dinner is one way you might use situation selection to experience a feeling of tranquility. The tendency to prioritize positivity draws upon this strategy.

We also predicted that prioritizing positivity would predict greater happiness and fewer symptoms of depression because of its relevance to daily life. The “highs” we get from one-time events like going on vacation or winning a prize wear off over time. As a result, effectively pursuing happiness may require engaging regularly in behaviors that promote happiness. By its nature, prioritizing positivity increases the chance that we will weave these positive behaviors into our daily lives rather than just maintaining a general desire for happiness or expecting it to come from a few isolated events.

To test our hypothesis that people high in prioritizing positivity would be happier and less depressed, we ran a study surveying more than 200 adults, ranging in age from 21 to 87. The adults completed the prioritizing positivity scale, as well as questionnaires measuring their levels of positive emotions, negative emotions, symptoms of depression, and life satisfaction.

We also administered a questionnaire measuring the extent to which they value happiness to an extreme, obsessive degree—they had to indicate how much they agreed with statements such as, “How happy I am at any given moment says a lot about how worthwhile my life is” and “I value things in life only to the extent that they influence my personal happiness.” This scale measures a way of relating to happiness that previously has been shown by Iris Mauss and her colleagues to predict less happiness and more symptoms of depression. Our team wanted to replicate this effect and also pit prioritizing positivity against the extreme valuing of happiness. Would only one of them be positively related to emotional well-being?

More on Real Happiness

Learn about the relationship between meaning and happiness

Discover four ways that too much happiness can hurt you .

Read Dr. Rick Hanson's essay, "How to Trick Your Brain for Happiness."

Listen to Sonja Lyubomirsky discuss the myths of happiness .

Take our quiz to measure how much you identify with your neighborhood, nation, and humanity.

Indeed, that’s what the data told us. Our results, published recently in the journal Emotion , show that people who scored higher on the prioritizing positivity scale felt more positive emotions, fewer negative emotions, more life satisfaction, and fewer depressive symptoms than people who scored lower on that scale. People who scored higher on valuing happiness to an extreme showed the opposite pattern: They felt fewer positive emotions, more negative emotions, less life satisfaction, and more depressive symptoms. Both tendencies place a premium on happiness, yet one appears to be effective and healthy whereas the other does not.

So what are the real-world implications of these findings? The science on the deliberate pursuit of happiness is young, so any prescriptions for happiness must be offered with the caveat that the research is still evolving and conclusions might be subject to change. So far, however, I do have some speculations, based on my research, about how people might more effectively pursue happiness.

First, let go of extreme ways of relating to your happiness. Don’t set the unrealistic goal of feeling positive emotions all—or even most—of the time. Just because you’re striving to experience happiness doesn’t mean you should be striving to feel joy, contentment, gratitude, peace (or any other flavor of positive emotion) every second of the day. This is unrealistic, because life invariably contains hassles and disappointments—and, for many, chronic stress. The negative emotions that arise from negative life events, big or small, are natural and help us better understand ourselves—they provide vital information about what we value and what might need to change in our lives. For instance, feeling a wave of anxiety about your physical health may actually motivate you to improve your dietary habits.

Letting go of wanting to feel happy all the time also encourages less self-consciousness about happiness. This may be helpful because many peak, pleasant experiences, characterized by total absorption in an activity, a phenomenon known as “flow,” are marked by a lack of self-awareness.

Second, reflect on the activities that give you joy or contentment. This thought experiment should be highly personalized. For some, the activities that spark happiness are cooking elaborate meals and attending public lectures. For others, the activities are watching basketball and going to their children’s soccer practices. (If you have trouble coming up with ideas, here are two activities that, research has shown, elicit positive emotions in most people: connecting with a loved one and doing something physically active.)

Finally, once you think of a couple of activities, schedule them into your upcoming week. To ensure that you actually do them, consider transforming the activity into a social obligation. If running is something you enjoy, set up a specific time to go running with a friend, so that you’re more likely to follow through. Repeatedly incorporate these activities into your daily life; they don’t have to assume large blocks of your time. If carving out even 20 minutes each day to read a novel inserts a dose of tranquility into your life, then incorporate this ritual into your daily routine.

The pursuit of happiness is not easy. If people attempt it with unrealistic expectations and too much attention, they risk sabotaging it. But this doesn’t mean you should give up on trying to be happy. It may be more effective to adjust your daily routine so that it includes activities that naturally spark interest or contentment. Seeking happiness, although a delicate art, may still be a worthwhile pursuit.

About the Author

Lahnna catalino.

Lahnna Catalino, Ph.D. is postdoctoral scholar in psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, School of Medicine. She studies the role of positive emotions and emotion regulation in the promotion of well-being and physical health.

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How to Find Happiness in Your Life

Research suggests four key strategies can help

Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of The Anxiety Workbook and founder of the website About Social Anxiety. She has a Master's degree in clinical psychology.

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

• Keep Trying
• Find Positive Support
• Focus on Positive Memories
• Focus on What Matters
• More Quick Tips

Frequently Asked Questions

Finding happiness is something that many people strive for, yet it can sometimes seem difficult or impossible to achieve. While happiness might feel elusive or out of your reach at times, that doesn't make it an impossible journey or goal to achieve. Knowing where to find happiness and which strategies to use can make it an achievable goal.

Or, it might be even simpler than that. Happiness might have been with you all along—you just may not have taken the time to realize it was much less complicated than you once believed.

You probably know it's not about driving the newest car or having the latest gadget. But, what is it that really drives happiness? Let's consider four studies from around the world to answer that question.

Finding Happiness Requires Continual Effort

One study reporting on data from the British Household Panel Survey revealed an interesting set of findings on the roots of happiness.

What is it that makes us happy: getting what we want or having what we want? Paradoxically, it seems that it's not the state of "being married" that makes us the happiest, but rather dynamic events such as "starting a new relationship."

The same concept applies to how to find happiness in your job. "Getting a new job" had a greater effect on happiness than employment status. "Becoming pregnant" had a greater effect on happiness than "being a parent." Similarly, events such as "starting a new course," "passing an exam," or "buying a new house" were all also high on the happiness scale.

In contrast, events with a low relation to happiness included the end of a relationship, losing a job, and losing a parent. What does all this mean, and what is making people in Britain happy? Let's take a moment to figure this out.

Positive dynamic events seem to be key rather than static situations. While this may all sound a little superficial, it makes sense to some degree if you consider happiness to be a "momentary" state.

What can we glean from this study? If you want to pursue happiness in your life or stay positive, realize that there is always the possibility that some happy event is waiting around the corner for you.

And if you don't feel like waiting, go out and make something happy happen. As the quote from Abraham Lincoln goes, "The best way to predict your future is to create it."

Finding Happiness Involves Positive Support

Another study reported on data from the Framingham Heart Study conducted in Framingham, Massachusetts, which followed 4,739 people from 1983 to 2003. The Framingham study had the participants answer one interesting question: Does our happiness depend on the happiness levels of the people around us?

Startlingly, the results of the study showed that to be precisely the case.

People who are surrounded by happy people are more likely to become happy in the future.

What's more, the analysis revealed that this effect was the result of happiness spreading , not just an artifact of happy people tending to hang out with one another.

According to this study, if you have a friend who lives within a mile of you and that friend becomes happy, the odds of you also becoming happy increase by about 25%.

The same was true for spouses (up to 16% improvement), siblings living within a mile (up to 28%), and next-door neighbors (up to 70%). Interestingly, the happiness of coworkers was shown to have no effect on the happiness of those around them.

What does all this mean? Surround yourself with happy people as much as possible, because it's very likely that their happiness will spread to you.

Focus on Positive Memories When Finding Happiness

In an Australian study of over 300 young adults, it was shown that those who recalled memories about problem-solving (a time when you successfully managed a challenge) or about identity (something that shaped you to become the person you are today) showed decreased negative emotions and increased positive emotions, respectively.

These findings suggest that simply thinking back to a time in your life when you were overcoming a challenge or to a time when you went through a significant life experience that changed you for the better could be effective in boosting your mood, and therefore, your happiness.

Finding Happiness in What Really Matters

A 2019 study out of South Korea using data from the Korean General Social Survey (KGSS) showed that respondents prioritizing spirituality were the most likely to be happy, followed by those who valued social relationships (friends, family, neighbors).  

People who placed the most weight on external achievements (money, education, work, leisure) were the least likely to be happy.

These findings suggest that the path to happiness in South Korea is not about all that glitters with gold—rather, going after goals related to collectivism or self-transcendence may be most important to boosting and preserving happiness. These results are consistent with those found in the field of positive psychology.

Quick Tips for Finding Happiness

If you're wondering how to find happiness alone, right now, know that it may be easier than you think. Here are some quick ways to get you feeling happier:

• Exercise : One systematic review found that even as little as 10 minutes a day of exercise (or one day of exercise per week) goes a long way in boosting feelings of happiness.
• Practice gratitude : Reflecting on what you're feeling grateful for (like a roof over your head, your best friend, or your dog) can boost feelings of well-being and combat stress.
• Smile : One study found that the act of smiling actually increased feelings of happiness in participants. You might also try laughter yoga, or the practice of using breathwork to trigger laughter, which has the potential to reduce anxiety and depression .
• Take a deep breath : Taking a deep breath—also called diaphragmatic breathing—promotes relaxation, and may even decrease cortisol in the body (known as the "stress hormone").

Press Play for Advice On Practicing Gratitude

This episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares strategies for practicing gratitude. Click below to listen now.

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A Word From Verywell

It's clear that what makes you happy may depend on where you live in the world (although these are limited studies that looked at different concepts). The British valued positive change, Americans grew happy when those around them were happy, Australians became happy when remembering positive memories, and South Koreans were happiest when engaged in collectivistic and spiritual pursuits.

The common thread, however, is that happiness is ever-changing and your happiness meter can always be boosted. If you truly want to pursue happiness, surround yourself with positivity and see beyond your present circumstances to the bigger picture, both in terms of people and your place in the greater universe.

Positive psychologist Martin Seligman suggests that there are five key elements that are critical for finding happiness:

• Positive emotions : Joyful feelings including cheer and contentment
• Engagement : Psychological connections including feeling absorbed, interested, and engaged in life
• Relationships : Being socially integrated, supported, and cared for
• Meaning : Feeling a sense of purpose and meaning in life
• Accomplishment : Making progress toward goals and gaining a sense of achievement

If you are struggling to find happiness, it is important to improve your sense of subjective well-being . Shifting your mindset , avoiding rumination, and engaging in healthy habits can play a part in improving your mood. Talking to a mental health professional can also help, particularly if you are experiencing symptoms of depression including low mood and a loss of pleasure in things you used to enjoy.

Ballas D, Dorling D. Measuring the impact of major life events upon happiness .  International Journal of Epidemiology . 2007;36(6):1244-1252. doi:10.1093/ije/dym182

Fowler JH, Christakis NA. Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network: longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study . BMJ . 2008 Dec 4;337:a2338. doi:10.1136/bmj.a2338

Hallford DJ, Mellor D. Brief reminiscence activities improve state well-being and self-concept in young adults: a randomised controlled experiment .  Memory . 2016;24(10):1311-1320. doi:10.1080/09658211.2015.1103875

Lee M-A, Kawachi I. The keys to happiness: Associations between personal values regarding core life domains and happiness in South Korea . PLoS ONE . 2019;14(1):e0209821. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0209821

Zhang Z, Chen W. A systematic review of the relationship between physical activity and happiness . J Happiness Stud. 2018;20(4):1305-1322. doi:10.1007/s10902-018-9976-0

Komase Y, Watanabe K, Hori D, et al. Effects of gratitude intervention on mental health and well-being among workers: A systematic review .  J Occup Health . 2021;63(1):e12290. doi:10.1002/1348-9585.12290

Coles NA, Larsen JT, Lench HC. A meta-analysis of the facial feedback literature: Effects of facial feedback on emotional experience are small and variable . Psychological Bulletin. 2019;145(6):610-651. doi:10.1037/bul0000194

Yazdani M, Esmaeilzadeh M, Pahlavanzadeh S, Khaledi F. The effect of laughter Yoga on general health among nursing students .  Iran J Nurs Midwifery Res . 2014;19(1):36-40.

Ma X, Yue ZQ, Gong ZQ, et al. The effect of diaphragmatic breathing on attention, negative affect and stress in healthy adults .  Front Psychol . 2017;8:874. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00874

Kern ML, Waters LE, Adler A, White MA. A multidimensional approach to measuring well-being in students: Application of the PERMA framework . J Posit Psychol . 2015;10(3):262-271. doi:10.1080/17439760.2014.936962

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By Arlin Cuncic, MA Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of The Anxiety Workbook and founder of the website About Social Anxiety. She has a Master's degree in clinical psychology.

Essays About Happiness: 5 Essay Examples and 6 Writing Prompts

Being happy and content is essential to living a successful life. If you are writing essays about happiness, start by reading our helpful guide.

Whenever we feel positive emotions rushing through our heads, chances are we are feeling happy. Happiness is what you feel when you enter the house, the smell of your favorite food being cooked or when you finally save up enough money to buy something you’ve wanted. It is an undeniably magical feeling. 

Happiness can do wonders for your productivity and well-being; when you are happy, you are more energetic, optimistic, and motivated. So it is, without a doubt, important. However, do not become caught up in trying to be happy, as this may lead to worse problems. Instead, allow yourself to feel your emotions; be authentic, even if that means feeling a little more negative.

5 Top Essay Examples

1. causes of happiness by otis curtis, 2. how to be happy by tara parker-pope, 3. reflections on ‘happiness’ by shahzada sultan.

• 4.  Happiness is Overrated by John Gorman

5. Toxic positivity by Suhani Mahajan

6 prompts for essays about happiness, 1. why is it important to be happy, 2. what is happiness to you, 3. the role of material things in happiness, 4. how does happiness make you more productive, 5. is true happiness achievable, 6. happiness vs. truth.

“If you don’t feel good about yourself you will have a similarly negative attitude towards others and education is one way of having good self-esteem, as it helps you to live life successfully and happily. Education is one way of getting that dream job and education is an essential cog in the wheel to living comfortably and happily. One English survey that included over 15,000 participants revealed that 81 percent of people who had achieved a good level of education had a high level of life satisfaction.”

Based on personal beliefs and research, Curtis’ essay describes different contributing causes to people’s happiness. These include a loving, stable family and good health. Interestingly, there is a positive correlation between education level and happiness, as Curtis cites statistics showing that education leads to high self-esteem, which can make you happier. 

“Socratic questioning is the process of challenging and changing irrational thoughts. Studies show that this method can reduce depression symptoms. The goal is to get you from a negative mindset (“I’m a failure.”) to a more positive one (“I’ve had a lot of success in my career. This is just one setback that doesn’t reflect on me. I can learn from it and be better.”)”

Parker-Pope writes about the different factors of happiness and how to practice mindfulness and positivity in this guide. She gives tips such as doing breathing exercises, moving around more, and spending time in places and with people that make you happy. Most importantly, however, she reminds readers that negative thoughts should not be repressed. Instead, we should accept them but challenge that mindset.

“Happiness is our choice of not leaving our mind and soul at the mercy of the sways of excitement. Happiness cannot eliminate sorrow, suffering, pain or death from the scheme of things, but it can help keep fear, anxiety, sadness, hopelessness, pessimism and other fathers of unhappiness at bay.”

Sultan discusses what happiness means to her personally. It provides an escape from all the dreariness and lousy news of daily life, not eliminating negative thoughts but keeping them at a distance, even just for a moment. She writes that to be happy; we should not base our happiness on the outcomes of our actions. We cannot control the world around us, so we should not link our happiness to it. If something doesn’t go our way, that is just how the world works. It is useless to be sad over what we cannot control.

4.   Happiness is Overrated by John Gorman

“Our souls do float across the sea of life, taking on water as they go, sinking ever so slightly — perhaps even imperceptibly — into despair. But our souls are not the bucket. Happiness itself is. And it’s the bucket we use to pour water out our souls and keep us afloat. What we really need is peace. Peace patches the holes in our souls and stops the leaking. Once we have peace, we will no longer need to seek happiness.”

In his essay, Gorman reflects on how he stopped trying to chase happiness and instead focused on finding peace in life. He writes that we are often so desperate looking for happiness that our lives become complicated, chaotic, and even depressing at times. He wants readers to do what they are passionate about and be their authentic selves; that way, they will find true happiness. You might also be interested in these essays about courage .

“That’s the mindset most of us have. Half of toxic positivity is just the suppression of 200% acceptable feelings such as anger, fear, sadness, confusion, and more. Any combination of such feelings is deemed “negative.” Honestly, mix ‘em up and serve them to me in a cocktail, eh? (Fine, fine, a mocktail. I reserve my right to one of those little umbrellas though.)

But by closing ourselves off to anything but positivity, we’re experiencing the same effects as being emotionally numb. Why are we doing this to ourselves?”

Mahajan writes about the phenomenon known as “toxic positivity” in which everyone is expected to be happy with their lives. It trivializes people’s misfortunes and sufferings, telling them to be happy with what they have instead. Mahajan opposes this, believing that everyone’s feelings are valid. She writes that it’s okay to be sad or angry at times, and the stigma around “negative feelings” should be erased. When we force ourselves to be happy, we may feel emotionally numb or even sad, the exact opposite of being happy. 

Many would say that happiness aids you in many aspects of your life. Based on personal experience and research, discuss the importance of being happy. Give a few benefits or advantages of happiness. These can include physical, mental, and psychological benefits, as well as anything else you can think of. 

Happiness means different things to different people and may come from various sources. In your essay, you can also explain how you define happiness. Reflect on this feeling and write about what makes you happy and why. Explain in detail for a more convincing essay; be sure to describe what you are writing about well. 

Happiness has a myriad of causes, many of which are material. Research the extent to which material possessions can make one happy, and write your essay about whether or not material things can truly make us happy. Consider the question, “Can money buy happiness?” Evaluate the extent to which it can or cannot, depending on your stance.  

Happiness has often been associated with a higher level of productivity. In your essay, look into the link between these two. In particular, discuss the mental and chemical effects of happiness. Since this topic is rooted in research and statistics, vet your sources carefully: only use the most credible sources for an accurate essay.

In their essays, many, including Gorman and Mahajan, seem to hold a more critical view of happiness. Our world is full of suffering and despair, so some ask: “Can we truly be happy on this earth?” Reflect on this question and make the argument for your position. Be sure to provide evidence from your own experiences and those of others. 

In dystopian stories, authorities often restrict people’s knowledge to keep them happy. We are seeing this even today, with some governments withholding crucial information to keep the population satisfied or stable. Write about whether you believe what they are doing is defensible or not, and provide evidence to support your point. 

For help with this topic, read our guide explaining “what is persuasive writing ?”

For help picking your next essay topic, check out our top essay topics about love .

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Happiness — Exploring the Path to Happiness: What Makes Me Happy

Exploring The Path to Happiness: What Makes Me Happy

• Categories: Happiness

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Published: Sep 7, 2023

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Connection and relationships, pursuit of personal growth, embracing creativity and expression, mindfulness and well-being, acts of kindness and giving, fulfillment through passion.

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How to Motivate Yourself: 11 Tips for Self Improvement

Achieve your goals with these science-backed motivation enhancers.

Setting a goal—anything from getting a degree or landing a new job to achieving a new level of physical fitness—is a big step toward improving your life. But following through to achieve what we’ve set out to accomplish can be challenging, especially on those days when motivation wanes. So how do you follow through on your commitments during those times when you just don’t feel like putting in the work?

We all lose motivation from time to time. When you’re feeling unmotivated, try one of these science-backed strategies to get yourself back on track toward your goal.

Put your goal on the calendar.

Make working toward your goal a habit.

Plan for imperfection.

Set small goals to build momentum.

Track your progress.

Reward yourself for the little wins as well as the big ones.

Embrace positive peer pressure.

Practice gratitude (including for yourself).

Do some mood lifting. 

Change your environment. 

Remember your “why.”

Self-motivation tips

Let's take a closer look at each of the above tips. Here, we'll break down these self-motivation techniques, detailing what they are and the science behind them.

1. Put your goal on the calendar.

One way to give a boost to your internal motivation is to create some external motivation: a target date. Whatever it is you’re aiming to accomplish, put it on the calendar. You may be working toward a goal with a set finish date built in. Examples include preparing for a test or taking a course with a fixed end date. 

If your goal lacks this structure, you can add it by deciding on a date by which you could realistically achieve your goal. 

Want to run a 5k or marathon? Sign up for a race on or near your target date. Considering a degree? Research the application deadline and write it down. Aiming to learn a new career skill? Register for a course and set a target date to finish. 

Having a target date not only helps you stay motivated, it also helps you track your progress—you always know how much further you have to go. This can have a big impact on your performance [ 1 ].

Tip: Setting a target date

Be realistic when setting your target date, but resist the urge to give yourself more time than you’ll need. Studies show that we sometimes perceive longer goals as more difficult, even when they’re not. This can lead to a greater likelihood of procrastination or quitting [ 2 ].

2. Make working toward your goal a habit.

When you make working toward your goal a habit—an automatic conditioned response—you no longer have to rely so much on feeling motivated. How do you turn a behavior into a habit?

Identify a trigger. 

Choose something that you already do everyday, like brushing your teeth or eating lunch, to be a trigger for the action you want to make a habit. Write out an “if-then” plan (also known as an implementation intention).

For example, if you want to create a habit of studying for a class everyday, your if-then plan might look like this:

If I pour my first cup of coffee, then I will spend five minutes on my math homework. 

To build consistency in exercise, it might look like this:

If I get up and brush my teeth, then I will immediately put on my workout clothes.

Making this plan and committing it to writing could increase the likelihood of following through [ 3 ].

Start small.

Notice that the above examples do not say that you’ll read six chapters of your textbook, watch two hours of lecture videos, or spend an hour sweating on the treadmill.

Getting started is often the hardest part on low-motivation days, and starting is much easier when the task is small: Five minutes of study or putting on your workout clothes [ 4 ]. 

These seemingly small actions can prime your mind for the task at hand, so the followthrough—a longer study session or a full workout—can happen more naturally with less mental resistance, according to The Science of Self Help [ 5 ]. 

3. Plan for imperfection.

It’s great to feel excited and confident about achieving your goal, but it’s also possible to be too optimistic [ 6 ]. Not every day will go exactly as planned, and that’s okay. Life happens. 

One way to boost motivation on difficult days is simply to plan for them. As you think about your goal, jot down a list of the things that could get in your way. If you’re taking an online course, this could include:

Losing internet access

Getting a phone call in the middle of a study session

Having a child home sick

Feeling stuck on a difficult concept or assignment

If your goal is to go running everyday, some obstacles might include:

Rainy weather

Getting asked to stay late at work during the time you usually run

We can’t predict everything that could happen, but we can predict those obstacles that are likely to happen from time to time based on our unique circumstances. 

Once you have your list, make a plan for how to handle the obstacle. How can you plan ahead for when your internet goes out? Maybe you could keep a few lecture videos downloaded to your phone or computer for offline access, or you could identify a nearby coffee shop that offers free wifi. 

Now when that obstacle pops up, instead of losing motivation and feeling deflated, you have a plan in place to keep the momentum going.

Keep in mind that for some obstacles, missing your task is a perfectly acceptable plan.  

The WOOP method

Next time you’re setting a goal for yourself, practice the WOOP technique, pioneered by Dr. Gabriele Oettingen. This stands for Wish , Outcome , Obstacle , and Plan . What is your wish? What would be the outcome of that wish coming true? What main obstacle stands in your way? What can you do to overcome that obstacle?

4. Set small goals to build momentum.

“If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another.” 

Naval Admiral William H. McRaven gave this advice during his commencement speech at the University of Texas at Austin in 2014. The former Navy SEAL was onto something.

Research shows that frequent small successes can build a sense of momentum that can in turn drive long-term success, especially early in the process [ 7 , 8 ]. Whatever your big goal may be, start by breaking it down into smaller chunks. Getting a new job might be a big goal. Smaller goals could be updating your resume, making a portfolio website, earning a certification, or attending a networking event.

Did you know?

Setting goals at the start of a new week, month, or year can naturally lead to increased motivation [ 9 ]. We tend to mentally associate these temporal landmarks with new beginnings while creating mental distance from any perceived shortcomings in our past. Now that’s what we call a motivational Monday.

5. Track your progress.

Seeing progress can be highly motivating [ 10 ]. You’ll find many tools out there to help you track your goals. This could be as simple as a to-do list or calendar where you can cross off tasks or days as you complete them. Or you might opt for a free tool like Trello , which allows you to create a personalized digital task board to categorize your big goal into daily, weekly, monthly, or even yearly sub goals.

Another option is to draw a progress bar on a sheet of poster board or paper. Hang it somewhere where you’ll see it regularly, and fill it in as you get closer to your goal.

What is a SMART goal?

Sometimes the best goals are SMART goals—specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. 

6. Reward yourself for the little wins as well as the big ones.

It feels good to be rewarded for our work. But rewards can also improve motivation and performance. Rewarding yourself for reaching small milestones and completing big goals could boost your interest and enjoyment in the work you’re doing [ 11 ]. 

These rewards don’t have to be big or cost a lot of money. Here’s a quick list of ideas you could use to reward yourself:

Take a short break

Go for a walk outside

Enjoy your favorite snack

Read a chapter of your favorite book

Spend a few minutes meditating

Listen to an episode of your favorite podcast

Plan a night out with friends

Play an online game

Visit a free museum or attraction

Have a long bath or shower

Call a friend or family member

Spend a few minutes making your own reward list so that you’re ready to celebrate your wins, big and small.

7. Embrace positive peer pressure.

You’re ultimately the one who puts in the work to achieve your goals. But other people can be a great motivator. 

Research shows that feeling like you’re part of a team can lead to boosted perseverance, engagement, and performance, even if you’re working alone [ 12 ]. Depending on your goal, this might mean joining a study group, running team, gym class, professional organization, or virtual challenge. 

Another study suggests that sharing your goal with someone whose opinion you value can strengthen your commitment to attaining that goal [ 13 ]. For work goals, consider sharing with a mentor or supervisor. You might choose to share educational goals with a teacher or academic advisor, or fitness goals with a coach or fellow gym member who you admire.

8. Practice gratitude (including for yourself).

It might seem like gratitude would lead to complacency and acceptance of the status quo. Yet some studies have shown otherwise. Feelings of gratitude can:

Motivate self-improvement [ 14 ]

Make us feel connected to others (i.e. part of the team) [ 15 ]

Enhance motivation across time, beyond the duration of the gratitude practice [ 16 ]

Induce a sense of wanting to give back [ 17 ]

Improve physical and mental health, as well as sleep [ 18 ]

There’s more than one way to foster an attitude of gratitude. Spend the first five minutes after you wake up going through all the things you feel grateful for. Better yet, write them down in a gratitude journal. Is there someone in your life you’re particularly grateful for? Write them a letter expressing your thanks. 

9. Do some mood lifting. 

A good mood has been linked to increased productivity, and improvement in both quality and quantity of work [ 19 , 20 ]. This doesn’t mean that you have to be positive all the time—that’s not realistic. But if you’re feeling sluggish about working toward your goal, a quick mood lift could be enough to get you started.

Need some ideas for how to boost your mood? You could try to:

Spend some time in nature (or at least get some sunlight) [ 21 ]

Look at some cute pictures or videos of animals on r/aww [ 22 ]

Watch funny videos on YouTube [ 23 ]

Exercise [ 24 ]

Adopt an alter ego (i.e. the Batman effect) [ 25 ]

10. Change your environment. 

Sometimes a change of scenery can help you approach your task with fresh eyes (and a new sense of motivation). This is called the novelty effect—a short-term boost that comes from altering your environment [ 26 ]. 

If you usually study at home, have a session at your local library. Do you always watch lecture videos on your computer? Try downloading them to your phone to watch outside in the park. Switch up your running route, or try a new exercise routine. 

11. Remember your “why.”

Why is this goal important to you? Why is that reason important to you? Why is that important to you? Keep digging until you get to your ultimate “why”—the core value that’s driving your goal. 

To further reinforce your “why,” set an alarm every morning to remind yourself to spend one or two minutes visualizing what success would look like. What would it feel like to achieve your goal?

What’s your career goal?

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Article sources

Maayan Katzir, Aviv Emanuel, Nira Liberman. " Cognitive performance is enhanced if one knows when the task will end ." Cognition 197 (April 2020).

Meng Zhu, Rajesh Bagchi, Stefan J Hock. " The Mere Deadline Effect: Why More Time Might Sabotage Goal Pursuit ." Journal of Consumer Research 45, no. 5 (April 2018): 1068-1084.

P.M. Gollwitzer. " Implementation intentions: Strong effects of simple plans ." American Psychologist 54, no. 7 (1999): 493-503.

Benjamin Gardner. " Making health habitual: the psychology of ‘habit-formation’ and general practice ." British Journal of General Practice 62, no. 605 (December 2012): 664-666.

The Science of Self-Help. " The Elements of Change: A Grand Unified Theory of Self-Help , https://scienceofselfhelp.org/articles-1/2018/11/28/the-elements-of-change-a-grand-unified-theory-of-self-help." Accessed May 18, 2023.

WOOP. " The science behind WOOP , https://woopmylife.org/en/science." Accessed May 18, 2023.

Seppo E. Iso-Ahola and Charles O. Dotson. " Psychological Momentum—A Key to Continued Success ." Frontiers in Psychology 7 (August 2016): 1326.

Stanford Graduate School of Business. " Focus on Small Steps First, Then Shift to the Larger Goal , https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/focus-small-steps-first-then-shift-larger-goal." Accessed May 18, 2023.

Hengchen Dai, Katherine L. Milkman, Jason Riis. " Put Your Imperfections Behind You: Temporal Landmarks Spur Goal Initiation When They Signal New Beginnings ." Psychological Science 26, no. 12 (November 2015).

ScienceDaily. " Frequently monitoring progress toward goals increases chance of success , https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/10/151029101349.htm." Accessed May 18, 2023.

K. Woolley, A. Fishbach. " It’s about time: Earlier rewards increase intrinsic motivation ." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 114, no. 6 (2018): 877-890.

Association for Psychological Science. " Just Feeling Like Part of a Team Increases Motivation on Challenging Tasks , https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/minds-business/just-feeling-like-part-of-a-team-increases-motivation-on-challenging-tasks.html." Accessed May 18, 2023.

H.J. Klein, R.B. Lount Jr., H.M. Park, B.J. Linford. " When goals are known: The effects of audience relative status on goal commitment and performance ." Journal of Applied Psychology 105, no. 4 (2020): 372-389.

Christina N. Armenta, Megan M. Fritz, Sonja Lyubomirsky. " Functions of Positive Emotions: Gratitude as a Motivator of Self-Improvement and Positive Change ." Emotion Review 9, no. 3 (June 2017).

University of California, Riverside. " Gratitude and Self-Improvement in Adolescents , http://christinaarmenta.weebly.com/uploads/3/0/7/2/30720023/armenta_spsp_poster_2017_final.pdf." Accessed May 18, 2023.

Norberto Eiji Nawa, Noriko Yamagishi. " Enhanced academic motivation in university students following a 2-week online gratitude journal intervention ." BMC Psychology 9, no. 71 (2021).

Psychology Today. " Motivation and Gratitude: How They Can Go Hand in Hand , https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/comfort-gratitude/202105/motivation-and-gratitude-how-they-can-go-hand-in-hand." Accessed May 18, 2023.

Forbes. " 7 Scientifically Proven Benefits Of Gratitude That Will Motivate You To Give Thanks Year-Round , https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2014/11/23/7-scientifically-proven-benefits-of-gratitude-that-will-motivate-you-to-give-thanks-year-round/?sh=570a27a6183c." Accessed May 18, 2023.

Jeff Grabmeier. " Got up on the wrong side of the bed? Your work will show it ." Academy of Management Journal (April 2011).

Warwick. " New study shows we work harder when we are happy , https://warwick.ac.uk/newsandevents/pressreleases/new_study_shows/." Accessed May 18, 2023.

Gregory N. Bratman, J. Paul Hamilton, Kevin S. Hahn, Gretchen C. Daily, and James J. Gross. " Nature experience reduces rumination and subgenual prefrontal cortex activation ." PNAS 112, no. 28 (July 2015): 8567-8572.

Hiroshi Nittono, Michiko Fukushima, Akihiro Yano, Hiroki Moriya. " The Power of Kawaii: Viewing Cute Images Promotes a Careful Behavior and Narrows Attentional Focus ." PLOS ONE 7, no. 9 (April 2012).

Dexter Louie, BA, Karolina Brook, MD, and Elizabeth Frates, MD. " The Laughter Prescription ." American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine 10, 4 (September 2014).

The University Record. " Study suggests people should get moving to get happier , https://record.umich.edu/articles/study-suggests-people-should-get-moving-get-happier/." Accessed May 18, 2023.

BBC.com. " The 'Batman Effect': How having an alter ego empowers you , https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200817-the-batman-effect-how-having-an-alter-ego-empowers-you." Accessed May 18, 2023.

The Science of Self-Help. " Meal Prepping, The Novelty Effect, and "Structured Randomness , https://scienceofselfhelp.org/articles-1/2018/5/25/meal-prepping-the-novelty-effect-and-structured-randomness." Accessed May 18, 2023.

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Essay Papers Writing Online

Tips for crafting a compelling and authentic personal essay.

Writing an essay about yourself can be a daunting task, but when done right, it can be a powerful tool to showcase who you are and what makes you unique. Whether you’re applying for college, a scholarship, or a job, a well-crafted essay can help you stand out from the crowd and leave a lasting impression on the reader.

When writing a personal essay, it’s important to strike a balance between being informative and engaging. You want to provide the reader with insight into your background, experiences, and goals, while also keeping them interested and invested in your story. In this guide, we’ll walk you through the process of writing a compelling essay about yourself, from brainstorming ideas to polishing your final draft.

Essential Tips for Crafting

When crafting a compelling essay about yourself, it is important to think about your audience and what message you want to convey. Here are some essential tips to help you create an engaging and authentic essay:

A Powerful Personal Essay

Writing a powerful personal essay is a way to express your unique voice and share your personal experiences with the world. By weaving together your thoughts, emotions, and reflections, you can create a compelling narrative that resonates with your audience. To craft a powerful personal essay, start by reflecting on your own experiences and exploring the themes that matter to you. Pay attention to the details and emotions that make your story come alive. Be honest and vulnerable in your writing, as authenticity is key to connecting with your readers. Additionally, consider the structure of your essay and how you can effectively organize your thoughts to engage your audience from beginning to end. By following these tips and staying true to your voice, you can create a powerful personal essay that leaves a lasting impact on your readers.

Choose a Unique Aspect

When writing an essay about yourself, it’s important to focus on a unique aspect of your personality or experiences that sets you apart from others. This could be a specific skill, talent, or life experience that has had a significant impact on your life. By choosing a unique aspect to highlight, you can make your essay more compelling and memorable to the reader. It’s important to showcase what makes you different and showcase your individuality in a way that will capture the reader’s attention.

of Your Personality

When writing about your personality, it’s important to showcase your unique traits and qualities. Describe what sets you apart from others, whether it’s your creativity, resilience, sense of humor, or compassion. Use specific examples and anecdotes to illustrate these characteristics and provide insight into who you are as a person.

Highlight your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses – this shows self-awareness and honesty. Discuss how your personality has evolved over time and mention any experiences that have had a significant impact on shaping who you are today. Remember to be authentic and genuine in your portrayal of yourself as this will make your essay more compelling and engaging to the reader.

Reflect Deeply on

When writing an essay about yourself, it is crucial to take the time to reflect deeply on your life experiences, values, beliefs, and goals. Consider the events that have shaped you into the person you are today, both positive and negative. Think about your strengths and weaknesses, your passions and interests, and how they have influenced your decisions and actions. Reflecting on your personal journey will help you uncover meaningful insights that can make your essay more compelling and authentic.

Your Life Experiences

When it comes to writing an essay about yourself, one of the most compelling aspects to focus on is your life experiences. These experiences shape who you are and provide unique insights into your character. Reflect on significant moments, challenges you’ve overcome, or memorable events that have had a lasting impact on your life.

• Consider discussing pivotal moments that have influenced your beliefs and values.
• Share personal anecdotes that highlight your strengths and resilience.
• Explore how your life experiences have shaped your goals, aspirations, and ambitions.

By sharing your life experiences in your essay, you can showcase your individuality and demonstrate what sets you apart from others. Be genuine, reflective, and honest in recounting the events that have shaped your journey and contributed to the person you are today.

Create a Compelling

When crafting an essay about yourself, it is essential to create a compelling narrative that captures the attention of the reader from the very beginning. Start by brainstorming unique and engaging personal experiences or qualities that you want to highlight in your essay. Consider including vivid anecdotes, insightful reflections, and impactful moments that showcase your character and achievements. Remember to be authentic and sincere in your writing, as this will resonate with your audience and make your essay more relatable. By creating a compelling narrative, you can effectively communicate your story and leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Narrative Structure

The narrative structure is crucial when writing an essay about yourself. It helps to create a compelling and engaging story that showcases your unique qualities and experiences. Start by introducing the main theme or message you want to convey in your essay. Then, build a coherent storyline that highlights significant events or moments in your life. Use descriptive language and vivid details to bring your story to life and make it more relatable to the readers. Include a clear beginning, middle, and end to ensure that your essay follows a logical progression and captivates the audience throughout.

Emphasize the lessons you’ve learned from your experiences and how they have shaped your character and outlook on life. Connect these insights to your personal growth and development, demonstrating your resilience, determination, and self-awareness. End your essay on a reflective note, highlighting the impact of your journey on who you are today and what you aspire to achieve in the future. By following a strong narrative structure, you can craft a captivating essay that showcases your authenticity and leaves a lasting impression on the readers.

Highlight Your

When writing an essay about yourself, it is essential to highlight your unique qualities and experiences that set you apart from others. Consider including personal anecdotes, achievements, strengths, and challenges that have shaped your identity. Focus on showcasing your authenticity and individuality to make your essay compelling and engaging.

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Essay on Happiness

List of essays on happiness, essay on happiness – short essay (essay 1 – 150 words), essay on happiness – for kids and children (essay 2 – 200 words), essay on happiness – 10 lines on happiness written in english (essay 3 – 250 words), essay on happiness (essay 4 – 300 words), essay on happiness – ways to be happy (essay 5 – 400 words), essay on happiness – for school students (class 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 standard) (essay 6 – 500 words), essay on happiness – ways of developing happiness (essay 7 – 600 words), essay on happiness – sources of suffering, happiness and conclusion (essay 8 – 750 words), essay on happiness – long essay on happiness (essay 9 – 1000 words).

Happiness is defined by different people in different ways. When we feel positive emotions we tend to feel happy. That is what happiness is all about. Happiness is also regarded as the mental state of a person in an optimistic manner.

Every person defines happiness in his/her own manner. In whatever manner you may define happiness; the truth is that it is vital for a healthy and prosperous life.

In order to make students understand what true happiness is all about, we have prepared short essays for students which shall enlighten them further on this topic.

Audience: The below given essays are exclusively written for school students (Class 3, 4 ,5, 6 and 7 Standard).

Introduction:

Happiness is a state of mind and the feeling expressed when things are going great. It is what we feel when we get our first car, buy a new house or graduate with the best grades. Happiness should be distinguished from joy. When joy is a constant state of mind, happiness depends on events in our lives.

Importance of Happiness:

The opposite of happiness is sadness which is a state of negativity in the mindset. When we remain sad for an extended period of time it can lead to depression. To avoid this state of mind we must always remind ourselves of happenings in our lives that made us happy.

Conclusion:

Though life throws countless challenges at us on a daily basis, if we drown in those challenges we would definitely become depressed. It is important that we find positive things in our daily lives to get excited about and feel the happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind which makes you feel accomplished in life and having everything in this world without a single reason to repent. Well, although there can be no perfect definition of happiness; happiness is when you feel you’re at the top of the world where a sense of complete satisfaction prevails.

The meaning of happiness is relative and varies from people to people. For some, happiness is when you experience professional success, reunions with family and friends, eating out, reading books or watching good movies. While for others, happiness can be accomplished by some weekend activities which might help you de-stress and get the satisfaction of mind.

If you involve yourself in social activities where you help the needy and provide support to the weaker section of the society, you can experience happiness if not anything else. When a young boy flies a kite, plays with mud, and watches the nature, for him, that is the greatest happiness in the world.

The happiness of mind is often considered quite contrary to jealousy and anger which you experience once you have failed or unaccomplished any desired goal. You should always try to rehearse the ways of keeping yourself satisfied and keeping away from negativity to experience peace and happiness in life. True happiness begins where desire ends!

What is happiness? It is a state of being happy. But it does not mean to be happy all the time. Happiness is a feeling of something good that is happening in our life. We feel happy when we achieve something. But happiness is spread when our dear one is happy as well. Some people find true happiness in playing with their pets, while some may find happiness in staying engaged in creative work.

Happiness is often derived from channelizing thoughts to positive thinking. However, it is not as simple as it may sound.

To achieve the state of complete happiness one has to practice on improving the state of life by:

1. Staying contended in life with what you have. Cribbing and grumbling never lead to happiness.

2. Staying focused on the current life instead of daydreaming of the good days or old days.

3. Stop blaming for something that went terribly wrong in life. The life is all about moving on. Stop worrying and set new goals in life.

4. Being thankful to God for all the good things that you have in your life.

5. Having good people around you who can boost up positivity in your life.

Everyone desires to be happy in life. Happiness cannot be achieved without establishing complete control of one’s thoughts as it is very easy to be carried away by the waves of thoughts and emotions surrounding us. Remind yourself of the good things of your life and be thankful about it.

What is happiness? Some would state that happiness implies being well off. Others would state that for them, happiness intends to be sound. You will discover individuals saying that for them happiness implies having love in their life, having numerous companions, a great job, or accomplishing a specific objective. There are individuals, who trust that the want of a specific wish would make happiness in their life; however, it may not be so. Having true happiness is something which is desired by all.

The Path to Happiness:

There are small things which when incorporated into our daily lives, can lead us to the path of happiness. For instance, instead of thinking about problems, we should actually be thinking about the solutions. Not only will we be happier but we shall also be able to solve our problems faster. Similarly, once in a while, you start the day with the longing to achieve a few targets. Toward the day’s end, you may feel disappointed and miserable, in light of the fact that you haven’t possessed the capacity to do those things. Take a look at what you have done, not at what you have not possessed the capacity to do. Regularly, regardless of whether you have achieved a ton amid the day, you let yourself feel disappointed, due to some minor assignments you didn’t achieve. This takes away happiness from you.

Again, now and then, you go throughout the day effectively completing numerous plans, yet as opposed to feeling cheerful and fulfilled, you see what was not cultivated and feel troubled. It is out of line towards you.

Each day accomplishes something good which you enjoy doing. It may tend to be something little, such as purchasing a book, eating something you cherish, viewing your most loved program on TV, heading out to a motion picture, or simply having a walk around the shoreline. Even small things can bring great levels of happiness in our lives and motivate us for new goals.

Happiness is not what you feel from outside, rather it is something which comes from your inner soul. We should find happiness in us rather than searching for it in worldly desires.

Happiness is defined by different people in different ways. Some find happiness in having a luxurious life while some find it in having loving people around them rather than money. True happiness lies within us and our expectation of happiness. It is something that should be felt and cannot be explained in words.

Even though this simple word has a lot of meaning hidden in it, many fail to understand the real one or feel the real happiness. Finding happiness in the outer world is the main reason for this failure. Nothing can buy you happiness, whether be the favorite thing you desire for or the person you love the most or the career you build, unless and until you feel it within yourself.

Ways to be Happy:

Bring happiness and soulful life to yourself rather than expecting it from the outside world like things, money, etc. Being happy is not as easy as advised to be one happier person. To be content and happy with whatever you have and yourself it takes time and patience. You should practice to be a happier person in all moments and eventually you will notice that no sorrow can sink you down.

Whatever good or bad happened in your past shouldn’t bother your present. Learn to live today with more happiness than yesterday and forget about your past sadness for a harmonious life. Thankfulness to the life you got is another important character you should acquire to be happy. If you compare yourself with someone with better luxurious life, then you will never be happy or content and do it the other way.

Don’t depress your mind with bad and negative thoughts about yourself and around. Try to find every goodness in a situation you face and accept the things that already happened, whether good or bad. Never forget to choose merrier and positive people to be closer to you so that their vibes will also help you in being one merrier person.

Whenever you feel low and depressed never hesitate to go to those around you to find happiness. But be aware of those negative ones that may pull you even deeper into the bad thoughts. Always surround yourself with positive thinking and motivating people so that you can rise higher even from the deepest fall.

Happiness is nothing but a feeling that will be seeded into your soul only if you wish to and nothing other than yourself can indulge this feeling in you. Don’t spoil your life finding happiness somewhere else.

Happiness is a very complicated thing. Happiness can be used both in emotional or mental state context and can vary largely from a feeling from contentment to very intense feeling of joy. It can also mean a life of satisfaction, good well-being and so many more. Happiness is a very difficult phenomenon to use words to describe as it is something that can be felt only. Happiness is very important if we want to lead a very good life. Sadly, happiness is absent from the lives of a lot of people nowadays. We all have our own very different concept of happiness. Some of us are of the opinion that we can get happiness through money, others believe they can only get true happiness in relationships, some even feel that happiness can only be gotten when they are excelling in their profession.

As we might probably know, happiness is nothing more than the state of one being content and happy. A lot of people in the past, present and some (even in the future will) have tried to define and explain what they think happiness really is. So far, the most reasonable one is the one that sees happiness as something that can only come from within a person and should not be sought for outside in the world.

Some very important points about happiness are discussed below:

1. Happiness can’t be bought with Money:

A lot of us try to find happiness where it is not. We associate and equate money with happiness. If at all there is happiness in money then all of the rich people we have around us would never feel sad. What we have come to see is that even the rich amongst us are the ones that suffer depression, relationship problems, stress, fear and even anxiousness. A lot of celebrities and successful people have committed suicide, this goes a long way to show that money or fame does not guarantee happiness. This does not mean that it is a bad thing to be rich and go after money. When you have money, you can afford many things that can make you and those around you very happy.

2. Happiness can only come from within:

There is a saying that explains that one can only get true happiness when one comes to the realisation that only one can make himself/herself happy. We can only find true happiness within ourselves and we can’t find it in other people. This saying and its meaning is always hammered on in different places but we still refuse to fully understand it and put it into good use. It is very important that we understand that happiness is nothing more than the state of a person’s mind. Happiness cannot come from all the physical things we see around us. Only we through our positive emotions that we can get through good thoughts have the ability to create true happiness.

Our emotions are created by our thoughts. Therefore, it is very important that we work on having only positive thoughts and this can be achieved when we see life in a positive light.

Happiness is desired by every person. However, there are very few persons that attain happiness easily in life.

It is quite tough to get happiness in life as people usually link it with the things and the people around them. The simple fact is that happiness usually starts as well as finishes with your own life. All those people who understand this fact easily get the true happiness in their life.

Happiness in Relationships:

There are lots of people who link happiness with the money and there are few others also who link it with the personal relations. It is very important to know that if you are not happy with yourself then, it is not possible to remain happy in your relationship as well.

The problems in the relationship have been increasing speedily and the main cause behind it is the huge amount of expectation that we have from the other individual. We always want them to make us feel happy. For example, some people feel happy if their partner plans a surprise for them or if he/she buy them a new dress. But all these things are not a true source of happiness in life.

Ways of Developing Happiness:

The lack of happiness in the relationship not only exists in couples but also in the relationship of friends, sister – brother or parent-child.

The following are the few ways that help in creating happiness in the relationships:

1. Pay Attention to Yourself:

You should always pay attention to yourself to get happiness. You should not give importance to any other person in your life in comparison to yourself and also expect the same from that person. Giving too much importance to the other and not receiving anything back from them makes a person disappointed and happiness gets lost.

2. Have some Initiative:

You can make the plan of traveling outside yourself. Don’t wait for your parent, partner or kid to take you outside. You can ask them to come along with you if they want. But, if they decline your offer then, don’t get discouraged and carry on your trip plan along with full happiness.

3. Provide some Space:

It is necessary to provide some amount of space to every individual and spend some time with oneself. It helps in creating happiness.

Happiness is Necessary for Good Life:

It does not matter that whether you are a working expert, a schoolchild, a retired person or a housewife, happiness is necessary for everybody to live a good and happy life. Happiness is essential for an individual’s emotional comfort. A person who is not fit emotionally will feel an impact on his complete health that will drain very soon.

Unluckily, despite the fact that happiness is tremendously necessary, people do not give so much importance to all those habits which can keep them happy. They are so excessively captivated inside their professional lives as well as other nuts and bolts of life that they overlook to relish the happy memories of their life. It is also the main reason that problems like anxiety, stress, and depression are increasing gradually in people’s lives today.

Happiness is an internal feeling. It is a healthy emotion. Happiness helps us to stay fit both mentally and physically. Happiness helps in lowering stress and keeping away from any health issues. The reason of happiness may be different for different person. You just need to find out what actually makes you happy. So, if you want real happiness in life then, you need to understand that only you can make yourself happy.

“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way” this sentence has been attributed to Buddha. Well, at least that’s what it says on one sticker in my dorm room. The fact is that man has occupied himself with the path to happiness for millennia. Something happened during our evolution that made us deeply question the purpose of our existence. People like Buddha are part of the answer, or at least they try to give us the answer.

Since these questions have troubled us there have been many who sought to answer them and by doing so, they formed philosophies and religions. The search for earthly happiness will make many do incredible deeds but if this energy is used in the wrong way it can cause great suffering. How can we know which recipe for happiness is the best one and what we should devote our time and attention to? The trick is, there is no right answer and as the first sentence of this essay states, there is no way to be happy because being happy is the way. That’s how I got my head around this problem, let me explain some more.

Source of Suffering:

At the expense of sounding Buddhist, when you think about most of the things that make us unhappy are material in nature. They are the things that we really do not need but they make us feel happy. This notion is not just something the wise man from the 6 th century BC India expressed but many more have said this before and after him. Socrates and Jesus to name just a few.

What I find interesting in the struggle for happiness is the paradox present in the instructions to reach it. One has a  thought all through life to be good and hard working so he can get the things he wants and needs later on in life but then as you start to struggle for the money you realize that your life is turning into a money grabbing game. So, the source of happiness and stability becomes the source of all your anxiety and aggression. Naturally, we can see how some people thought that all material things stand on the path to our happiness.

But what about the immaterial, what if you are in love with someone you are not supposed to love? The above instruction would tell you to surrender your heart’s desire and you will be free from constraints. Is this happiness? Or is it the struggle to do and achieve the impossible the real source of happiness?

Source of Happiness:

People often forget that they are animals and like all of them they have a logic to their nature and their own specific needs. Like all the other animal’s people are caught in the struggle for existence and sometimes surviving the day can be a real ordeal if you get caught in the wrong circumstances. Men has made himself safe from most of the things that could have harmed him in nature but in doing so he forgot what he has made.

Think about the present from a historical perspective. Even a hundred years ago most people lost up to 80% of all their children to diseases, clean water was a rarity for most of our existence, and people actually had to labor to make food and to have enough to feed their family all through the year. The fact is we have a lot to be grateful for in the present age and the fact that some of us are unhappy because we do not have all our heart’s desires is just a symptom of collective infancy. Having all of your loved ones around you, with a roof to shelter under and with lots of delicious food is the only source of happiness man needs everything else should just be a bonus.

Happiness cannot be found by rejecting everything that is material or by earning more money then you can spend. The trick is to find balance by looking at yourself and the lives of people around you and by understanding that there is a lot to be grateful for, the trick is to stop searching for a path and to understand that we are already walking on one. As long as we are making any type of list of the prerequisite for our life of happiness, we will end up unsatisfied because life does not grant wishes we are the ones that make them come true. Often the biggest change in our lives comes from a simple change of perspective rather than from anything we can own.

Happiness is the state of emotional wellbeing and being contented. Happiness is expressed through joyful moments and smiles. It is a desirable feeling that everybody want to have at all times. Being happy is influenced by situations, achievements and other circumstances. Happiness is an inner quality that reflects on the state of mind. A peaceful state of mind is considered to be happiness. The emotional state of happiness is mixture of feelings of joy, satisfaction, gratitude, euphoria and victory.

How happiness is achieved:

Happiness is achieved psychologically through having a peaceful state of mind. By a free state of mind, I mean that there should be no stressful factors to think about. Happiness is also achieved through accomplishment of goals that are set by individuals. There is always happiness that accompanies success and they present feelings of triumph and contentment.

To enable personal happiness in life, it is important that a person puts himself first and have good self-perception. Putting what makes you happy first, instead of putting other people or other things first is a true quest towards happiness. In life, people tend to disappoint and putting them as a priority always reduces happiness for individuals. There is also the concept of practicing self-love and self-acceptance. Loving oneself is the key to happiness because it will mean that it will not be hard to put yourself first when making decisions.

It is important for an individual to control the thoughts that goes on in their heads. A peaceful state of mind is achieved when thoughts are at peace. It is recommended that things that cause a stressful state of mind should be avoided.

Happiness is a personal decision that is influenced by choices made. There is a common phrase on happiness; “happiness is a choice” which is very true because people choose if they want to be happy or not. Happiness is caused by circumstances and people have the liberty to choose those circumstance and get away from those that make them unhappy.

Happiness is also achieved through the kind of support system that an individual has. Having a family or friends that are supportive will enable the achievement of happiness. Communicating and interacting with the outside world is important.

Factors Affecting Happiness:

Sleep patterns influence the state of mind thus influence happiness. Having enough sleep always leads to happy mornings and a good state of mind for rest of the day. Sleep that is adequate also affects the appearance of a person. There is satisfaction that comes with having enough sleep. Enough rest increases performance and productivity of an individual and thus more successes and achievements are realized and happiness is experienced.

Another factor affecting happiness is the support network of an individual. A strong support network of family and friends results in more happiness. Establishing good relationships with neighbors, friends and family through regular interactions brings more happiness to an individual. With support network, the incidences of stressful moments will be reduced because your family and friends will always be of help.

Sexual satisfaction has been established to affect happiness. It is not just about getting the right partner anymore. It is about having a partner that will satisfy you sexually. There is a relationship between sex and happiness because of the hormones secreted during sexual intercourse. The hormone is called oxytocin and responsible for the happiness due to sexual satisfaction. Satisfaction also strengthens the relationships between the partners and that creates happiness.

Wealth also plays a significant role in happiness. There is a common phrase that is against money and happiness: “money cannot buy happiness” is this true? Personally, I believe that being financially stable contributes to happiness because you will always have peace of mind and many achievements. Peace of mind is possible for wealthy people because they do not have stressors here and then compared to poor people. Also, when a person is wealthy, they can afford to engage in luxurious activities that relaxes the mind and create happiness. For a person to be wealthy, they will have had many achievements in life. These achievement make them happy.

A good state of health is an important factor that influences the happiness of individuals. A healthy person will be happy because there are no worries of diseases or pain that they are experiencing. When a person is healthy, their state of mind is at peace because they are not afraid of death or any other health concerns. Not only the health of individuals is important, but also the health of the support system of the person. Friends and family’s state of health will always have an impact on what we feel as individuals because we care about them and we get worried whenever they are having bad health.

Communication and interactions are important in relation to an individual’s happiness. Having a support system is not enough because people need to communicate and interact freely. Whenever there are interactions like a social gathering where people talk and eat together, more happiness is experienced. This concept is witnessed in parties because people are always laughing and smiling in parties whenever they are with friends.

Communication is key to happiness because it helps in problem solving and relieving stressors in life. Sharing experiences with a support system creates a state of wellbeing after the solution is sought. Sometime when I am sad, I take my phone and call a friend or a family member and by the time the phone call is over, I always feel better and relieved of my worries.

Happiness is an important emotion that influences how we live and feel on a daily basis. Happiness is achieved in simple ways. People have the liberty to choose happiness because we are not bound by any circumstances for life. Factors that influence happiness are those that contribute to emotional wellbeing. Physical wellbeing also affects happiness. Every individual finds happiness in their own because they know what makes them happy and what doesn’t.

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How to be Happy in Life Essay in English

How to remain happy. Once a person went to a wise-man and said, “I want happiness.” The wise-man simply said, “Remove ‘I’ from your life, it is your ego and it makes you disable. Remove ‘Want’, as it makes you restless and what remains behind is ‘Happiness’!”

Life is meant to be enjoyed in all the circumstances. If you can’t enjoy your life, you are likely to be a dead person. It doesn’t require huge sums of money or luxurious places for enjoyment but just some little changes in your daily routine can drastically increase joy in your life.

So, today we will discuss some really simple but influential practices to make your life better and worth living.

Table of Contents

Smile and Silence

These two really simple acts, if acted upon, will prove to be the best remedies for your life. Expanding a sweet smile on your face in troubling situations can solve many problems. E.g. if someone talks bad of you, you should not react but simply smile and say “I don’t care! It would be the best revenge for that guy.

On the other hand, silence in most off the situations can prevent many problems as most of the problems are created by our talks. So try to be silent in most of the situations.

Be Satisfied With What You Have

One of the biggest reasons for our sad life is that we never remain happy with what we have; instead we burn ourselves with the fire of jealousy by seeing the material things of others. If you ever go through such situation, then visit a beggar or a handicapped person or a poor or someone ill and you will be proud of what you have.

Always thank to Almighty for what He has given you.

Do What You Enjoy When You Are Idle

When idle always try to do what makes you blissful. E.g. gardening, articles writing, poetry etc. These things really have a positive effect on your mind. If you don’t have such interests then just discover what makes you happy by doing new and innovative experiments.

Belief in Almighty

Whenever you are depressed or not feeling good, meditate and pray to Almighty. While in solitude try to share your emotions with Almighty and you will surely feel relief and euphoria. Belief in Almighty is one of the best cures of depression. You may gather tonnes of money, yet peace of mind lies in the remembrance of Almighty.

Writing Down Your Virtues on Notebook

Writing down the good deeds that you have done in your past life makes you feel proud of yourself and it will also fill in you the will power and self-confidence. When feeling depressed, just sit down and relax, take a notebook and jot down all your good habits, the good things that you have done in your life etc and you will feel better.

Aside from writing down your virtues, you can also write quotes. Quotes or mottos in life can help guide and inspire you to be at your best. Many legendary people, such as scientists, business tycoons, philanthropists, and heroes have shared their quotes to the world, which are also their driving force or guide to the right path. 

Quotes can reflect your virtues too. You can read inspirational quotes here to be more motivated to write your own personal quotes in a journal. When you start creating your own quotes, you’ll be more inspired to add more whenever you like it, such as in a long-haul flight.

Help Others

Help doesn’t mean, always making your pockets empty but there are many other ways of helping too. You can guide some traveller to his destination or offer glass of water to a thirsty or make depressed person happy etc. These things will really make you happy when the world will trouble you.

There are many ways to extend your kindness and help to other people. You can help answer people’s questions on social media pages, addressing their concerns and giving them peace of mind. In addition, you can start by helping your loved ones to overcome personal conflicts or academic pressures. 

Donating in charities or doing volunteer works in community events or outreach programs are also great ideas. When you help others, you also help yourself because you’ll feel good doing it, boosting your morale.

Expectations Lead to Depression

Remember, expectations never give you bliss. You should always expect from none but Almighty or yourself. Never, in your life, expect something from others. Try to remain independent in the entire thick and thins of your life because problems are short and benefactions of the other are for whole life. So, be independent and be self-sufficient, and you will be happy.

Read Self-helo Books

Reading self-help books has really a positive effect on your mind. These books not only makes you feel better but also fill in you self confidence and will-power. You can find these books easily in online stores at cheap price. Just buy any one of them and see the difference.

Try these simple steps for just a few days and you will you changed life!

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How to Recognize What Really Makes You Happy

Happiness isn’t what you think it is: it’s less, and more..

Posted September 12, 2022 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

• To be happy and have your life be an ongoing, ever-intriguing adventure, it has to be dynamic and free of self-constricting insecurities.
• Released from outdated fears, you can be more open and curious, and ready to take on the risks associated with trying new things.
• If you feel isolated from others, then, independent of how much wealth you have, you’ll experience the unhappy malaise of alienation.

Part 2 of “How Happiness Integrates the Values of Income, Relationships, and Purpose."

It may be that you’ve concentrated on gaining financial security as preliminary to giving serious thought to your personal happiness. Or maybe you believed achieving such security would “secure” your happiness.

But what if your financial concerns actually obstructed the state of well-being that you—and, frankly, everybody else—seeks? And what if you’re now financially prosperous but that hasn’t actually brought (or bought) you a state of well-being?

This post centers on the different factors social scientists have linked to this ideal mental and emotional state. And, although this seminal subject is hardly without controversy, a consensus does exist about what people generally require to feel good about themselves and satisfied with their life.

Preoccupation With Your Occupation Can Hinder Opportunities for Happiness

Happy individuals regard their life as an adventure. Yet, if you’ve single-mindedly focused on bettering your finances, it’s possible that you’ve also come to experience your life as burdensome—more a source of worry and fear than wonder and gratification.

Plus, once your income reaches a level commensurate with your goals and you recognize that you’ve finally made it financially, you may also come to realize that your longer-term issues and self-doubts haven’t been resolved at all. Nor had you concretely planned what the free time now at your disposal could most beneficially be used for.

Worse than this, the “grind” that characterized your work-related commitments may have become second nature to you (virtually a compulsion), such that altering your lifestyle might not even feel viable.

Ironically, the freedom and self-determination you assumed making enough money would provide could engender anxiety all on its own. Instead of creating happiness, it could create a distressing vacuum.

It’s like a newly retired person expecting that the day of their eagerly awaited retirement will—intrinsically—be fulfilling. But, after first delighting in this long-sought-after freedom, they experience an emptiness much like lethargy or boredom , or depression .

There are other downsides of financial security that space doesn’t permit me to go into here. But I think what I’ve just described should be suggestive.

In short, money can definitely buy you more leisure time, material goods, and enjoyable experiences. In itself, however, it can’t do much to rectify deficits in your self-image or offer you a sense of purpose (i.e., other than making more money).

What Contributes to Happiness as Much as, or More Than, One’s Income

Other writers have reported instances of people living in poverty who are yet happy with their life. And what accounts for their contentment is their gratefulness for what they’ve been “ gifted ” with: namely, a caring family and community—which they’re at once a part of and nurtured by.

On the contrary, if we feel isolated from those around us, then, without such affinity and independent of how much wealth we’ve accumulated, we’ll experience the unfortunate malaise of alienation.

Plagued by mental and moral ill-being , emotionally we’ll continue to yearn for the contented state impossible to come by until we’re able to feel we fit in, that we have a genuine connection and sense of belonging to what’s outside us. We may feel financially secure but not relationally secure, and that leaves us lacking in what, otherwise, would help enable our well-being.

The so-called “golden triangle of happiness,” based on a 20-year research study executed through Deakin Univesity’s partnership with Australian Unity Real Wellbeing, posits that the three crucial aspects of happiness are standard of living ( cf. finances); strong, validating relationships (which aren’t necessarily romantic); and an abiding sense of meaning, purpose, or achievement.

Getting more into the particulars of these three key areas, we might add that once they’re effectively addressed, individuals will no longer be held back by primitively conceived threats of survival, usually stemming from the emotional instabilities of childhood .

Released from outdated fears, then, by standing up to their potential-limiting anxieties, they can be more “out there,” open and curious, and ready to take on the additional anxiety and risks associated with trying new things.

After all, if living is to be an ongoing, ever-intriguing adventure, it has to be dynamic. So, as long as we’re saddled with mental and emotional insecurities, we won’t be prepared to engage in life fully—whether by ourselves, with others, or with our physical surroundings.

Courage and confidence blossom when we’re able to quell former anxieties that in various ways may have kept us stuck in life. And, once we can disentangle from these self-confinements, our much-expanded comfort zone will free us to feel all our feelings—not just the safe ones that kept us closed off from so much life might have to offer us.

And it can hardly be overemphasized that, done correctly, such engagement entails a creative, individualistic balancing of (childlike) immediate pleasures with (more adult and pleasure-restricting) longer-term goals and aspirations.

Newly awake to possibilities we hadn’t before opened to, we can envision, welcome, and experiment with things that felt too scary when our modus operandi was too often one of defensive avoidance. From this broadened perspective, our life can take on dimensions yielding a level of contentment earlier unavailable to us.

Adam Omary, in his post “The Science of Happiness,” downplays the importance of finances and tersely outlines the components of well-being by stating: “Overall, being happy is to live with mindfulness , meaning, and purpose.” And it’s up to each individual to decide, based on their particular values, just what purpose they wish to pursue.

I’ll get to the most concrete, “how-to” level of specificity in my next post on happiness. Here I’ll just allude to some elements that, more explicitly, contribute to a state of well-being.

And that includes (but is hardly confined to) fostering dietary health, fitness, and resilience ; cultivating authenticity , gratitude , and forgiveness (for both yourself and others); advancing your motivation and sense of self-worth (but without arrogance or egotism); and spending more time returning to, and communing with, nature.

Part 1 of this three-part post focused on the relationship between financial security and happiness; part 3 will discuss in detail the many things you can start doing right now to make yourself happier.

© 2022 Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.

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Seltzer, L. F. (2012, Oct 17). Greed: The ultimate addiction. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201210/greed…

Zlatopolsky, A. (2021, Nov 24). How much money do you really need to be happy? https://www.health.com/money/how-much-money-do-you-need-to-be-happy

Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. , is the author of Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy and The Vision of Melville and Conrad . He holds doctorates in English and Psychology. His posts have received over 53 million views.

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