12 Better Words For “Unfortunately” In Formal Emails

“Unfortunately” is a word we use to preface bad news or bad luck. While there’s nothing wrong with saying “unfortunately,” it may not always be the best choice for formal emails. In this article, we’re going to go over some useful alternatives to “unfortunately.”

What Can I Write Instead Of “Unfortunately” In Formal Emails?

The preferred option is “as it turns out.” “As it turns out” is neutral; it’s neither inherently positive nor inherently negative. This can help to soften any bad news or help to avoid making any sort of judgment call on the news.

As It Turns Out

“As it turns out” is a phrase you use when the outcome is different than what was expected. The outcome isn’t necessarily good or bad, just different.

Regrettably

“Regrettably” is is a good replacement for “unfortunately” when you want to emphasize that you feel sorry about the outcome. Additionally, “regrettably” is more formal than “unfortunately,” making it more appropriate in some contexts.

“Sadly” emphasizes the unhappiness associated with the outcome. “Sadly” literally describes an emotion, it isn’t exclusively used as an emotional word.

In neutral contexts, it has the same basic meaning as “unfortunately” without much emphasis on the sadness involved.

Here are some examples:

I’m Sorry To Say

A lot of formal writing, especially in professional and academic settings, tries to be as impersonal as possible. As such, most formal writing avoids “I” statements.

Although “I’m sorry to say” is an “I” statement, it’s still a phrase you’re likely to see in formal settings.

I’m Sad To Say

“I’m sad to say” emphasizes your unhappiness with the situation. Like “I’m sorry to say,” it’s a good way to professionally extend your sympathies.

“However” can be used to fully or partially negate the statement that comes before it. It’s like saying “but” or “on the other hand.” It can replace “unfortunately” when introducing a negative aspect to a potentially positive idea.

When used in this way “afraid” doesn’t mean “scared.” It’s more like saying “sorry.”

I Regret To Inform You

The “I” in this phrase is sometimes replaced with “we.” “We regret to inform you” is typically used with the writer must speak on behalf of a company or organization.

For Reasons Beyond Our Control

This is a neutral phrase. While it prefaces bad news, it doesn’t endeavor to apologize or sympathize.

For example, you might say: “Unfortunately we’re out of stock.” To pull a positive from that situation you could rephrase it as “We’re out of stock. Luckily, we have a similar item on sale.”

Fortunately

“Fortunately” is a bit more formal than “luckily.” While both can be appropriate in formal writing, “fortunately” is a better choice for higher levels of formality.

Due To Unforeseen Circumstances

Is “unfortunately” formal or informal.

“Unfortunately” can be used in both of these contexts. However, words that straddle formal and informal language like this tend to feel less formal than exclusively formal words.

10 Other Ways to Say “Unfortunately” in A Formal Email (With Examples)

In business and professional communications, it is often necessary to relay disappointing or negative news to colleagues, clients, or partners. Using overly casual language like “Hey friends” or simply stating “unfortunately” can come across as unprofessional in formal emails.

That’s why today I want to provide you with 10 more polished, formal alternatives to say “unfortunately” in your professional emails. Proper word choice is key for maintaining tact and diplomacy when delivering unfavorable updates by email.

The following examples will demonstrate how to incorporate these 10 other formal ways to say “unfortunately” into sentences you may need to write for work emails.

Is It Professional to Say “Unfortunately”?

Using the word “unfortunately” in professional communications like emails can be fine in moderation . However, relying on “unfortunately” too often can start to sound unprofessional, negative, or even passive-aggressive.

While “unfortunately” offers a quick and easy way to acknowledge disappointment, there are more elegant options that sound polished, nuanced, and solution-oriented. The key is varying your language.

Here is an example of where “unfortunately” was used in an email:

Dear HR, Unfortunately, I must cancel our meeting scheduled for Friday. My apologies for any inconvenience. Kind Regards Mike
  • It’s a quick, straightforward way to acknowledge disappointment or a negative update concisely.
  • Using “unfortunately” can soften the blow when delivering bad news or denying a request. It shows empathy.
  • Overusing “unfortunately” can start to sound repetitive, unoriginal, and even passive-aggressive.
  • It can come across as unprofessional or lazy compared to more thoughtful phrasing like “with regret” or “much to my disappointment.”

Some professional alternatives to overusing “unfortunately” include:

  • Regrettably, I cannot attend the conference due to a schedule conflict.
  • I’m afraid I must decline the invitation due to prior commitments.
  • Sadly, we will not be able to accommodate your request at this time.
  • With regret, I will not be able to contribute to the project as planned.
  • Much to my disappointment, I cannot provide the funding requested.
  • It is with regret that I inform you the deadline has been pushed back.

The bottom line is while “unfortunately” is not inherently unprofessional , relying on this one word too often can reflect poorly. Professionals who take the time to craft more thoughtfu l, varied responses tend to come across as more diplomatic, solutions-oriented, and engaged.

What to Say Instead of “Unfortunately” in A Formal Email

Here are 10 synonyms for “unfortunately” in an email:

  • Regrettably
  • With regret
  • To my dismay
  • It is with regret that I must inform you
  • I’m sorry to say
  • Much to my disappointment
  • It pains me to tell you
  • I deeply regret having to tell you

1. Regrettably:

“Regrettably” is a common replacement for “unfortunately,” acknowledging the burden of delivering bad news. While acknowledging negativity, it softens the blow and introduces the news sensitively .

Dear Ms. Johnson, Regrettably, your order cannot be fulfilled due to an unexpected stock shortage. We apologize for the inconvenience and offer a full refund or store credit. Please let us know your preference. Kind regards, Sarah

“Sadly” emphasizes the negative outcome and expresses empathy for the recipient.

Dear Mr. Smith, Sadly, your application for the internship was not selected this year. We received many qualified applications, and the competition was fierce. We encourage you to consider future opportunities with our company. Kind regards, David

3. With regret:

Similar to “regrettably,” but subtly softer in tone.

Dear Ms. Williams, With regret , we must inform you that your appointment has been rescheduled due to unforeseen circumstances. We apologize for any disruption this may cause and will provide the updated details shortly. Kind regards, Maria

4. To my dismay:

Use sparingly for surprising bad news.

Dear Mr. Brown, To my dismay, we discovered a technical issue affecting your account, resulting in temporary inaccessibility. Our team is working diligently to resolve it, and we will update you as soon as possible. Kind regards, John

5. I’m afraid:

Emphasizes your role as the messenger of bad news.

Dear Ms. Garcia, I’m afraid the meeting scheduled for Friday has been canceled due to speaker unavailability. We apologize for any inconvenience and will reschedule at your earliest convenience. Kind regards, Lisa

6. It is with regret that I must inform you:

Formal opening for bad news, highlighting your personal regret.

Dear Mr. Davis, It is with regret that I must inform you that your contract will not be renewed after [date]. We appreciate your contributions and wish you the best in your future endeavors. Kind regards, Robert

7. I’m sorry to say:

Expresses sympathy for the recipient’s disappointment.

Dear Ms. Miller, I’m sorry to say that your request for a refund cannot be processed at this time due to [reason]. However, we offer you a store credit worth the same amount. Kind regards, Emily

8. Much to my disappointment:

Similar to “to my dismay,” but focuses on your personal feelings.

Dear Mr. Lopez, Much to my disappointment , the event has been postponed due to weather conditions. We apologize for any inconvenience and will update you with the new date as soon as it’s confirmed. Kind regards, Chloe

9. It pains me to tell you:

More emotional, used for significant bad news.

Dear Ms. Lee, It pains me to tell you that your loved one, [loved one’s name], has passed away. We understand this is an incredibly difficult time and offer our heartfelt condolences. Please know that we are here for you if you need support. Kind regards, Sarah

10. I deeply regret having to tell you:

Most formal and emotional, reserved for serious negative news.

choosing more thoughtful alternatives to repeatedly saying “unfortunately” in professional emails allows you to maintain diplomacy and solution-focused communication.

While “unfortunately” offers a quick way to acknowledge disappointment, overuse can become repetitive or even come across as passive-aggressive.

Implementing phrases like “with regret” or “much to my dismay” demonstrates professionalism and empathy when delivering unfavorable news over email.

With care and consideration for tone and language, you can craft emails that convey disappointing updates tactfully. I hope these examples have provided some useful options to elevate your formal email etiquette

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College Essays

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If you grow up to be a professional writer, everything you write will first go through an editor before being published. This is because the process of writing is really a process of re-writing —of rethinking and reexamining your work, usually with the help of someone else. So what does this mean for your student writing? And in particular, what does it mean for very important, but nonprofessional writing like your college essay? Should you ask your parents to look at your essay? Pay for an essay service?

If you are wondering what kind of help you can, and should, get with your personal statement, you've come to the right place! In this article, I'll talk about what kind of writing help is useful, ethical, and even expected for your college admission essay . I'll also point out who would make a good editor, what the differences between editing and proofreading are, what to expect from a good editor, and how to spot and stay away from a bad one.

Table of Contents

What Kind of Help for Your Essay Can You Get?

What's Good Editing?

What should an editor do for you, what kind of editing should you avoid, proofreading, what's good proofreading, what kind of proofreading should you avoid.

What Do Colleges Think Of You Getting Help With Your Essay?

Who Can/Should Help You?

Advice for editors.

Should You Pay Money For Essay Editing?

The Bottom Line

What's next, what kind of help with your essay can you get.

Rather than talking in general terms about "help," let's first clarify the two different ways that someone else can improve your writing . There is editing, which is the more intensive kind of assistance that you can use throughout the whole process. And then there's proofreading, which is the last step of really polishing your final product.

Let me go into some more detail about editing and proofreading, and then explain how good editors and proofreaders can help you."

Editing is helping the author (in this case, you) go from a rough draft to a finished work . Editing is the process of asking questions about what you're saying, how you're saying it, and how you're organizing your ideas. But not all editing is good editing . In fact, it's very easy for an editor to cross the line from supportive to overbearing and over-involved.

Ability to clarify assignments. A good editor is usually a good writer, and certainly has to be a good reader. For example, in this case, a good editor should make sure you understand the actual essay prompt you're supposed to be answering.

Open-endedness. Good editing is all about asking questions about your ideas and work, but without providing answers. It's about letting you stick to your story and message, and doesn't alter your point of view.

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Think of an editor as a great travel guide. It can show you the many different places your trip could take you. It should explain any parts of the trip that could derail your trip or confuse the traveler. But it never dictates your path, never forces you to go somewhere you don't want to go, and never ignores your interests so that the trip no longer seems like it's your own. So what should good editors do?

Help Brainstorm Topics

Sometimes it's easier to bounce thoughts off of someone else. This doesn't mean that your editor gets to come up with ideas, but they can certainly respond to the various topic options you've come up with. This way, you're less likely to write about the most boring of your ideas, or to write about something that isn't actually important to you.

If you're wondering how to come up with options for your editor to consider, check out our guide to brainstorming topics for your college essay .

Help Revise Your Drafts

Here, your editor can't upset the delicate balance of not intervening too much or too little. It's tricky, but a great way to think about it is to remember: editing is about asking questions, not giving answers .

Revision questions should point out:

  • Places where more detail or more description would help the reader connect with your essay
  • Places where structure and logic don't flow, losing the reader's attention
  • Places where there aren't transitions between paragraphs, confusing the reader
  • Moments where your narrative or the arguments you're making are unclear

But pointing to potential problems is not the same as actually rewriting—editors let authors fix the problems themselves.

Want to write the perfect college application essay?   We can help.   Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will help you craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay to proudly submit to colleges.   Don't leave your college application to chance. Find out more about PrepScholar Admissions now:

Bad editing is usually very heavy-handed editing. Instead of helping you find your best voice and ideas, a bad editor changes your writing into their own vision.

You may be dealing with a bad editor if they:

  • Add material (examples, descriptions) that doesn't come from you
  • Use a thesaurus to make your college essay sound "more mature"
  • Add meaning or insight to the essay that doesn't come from you
  • Tell you what to say and how to say it
  • Write sentences, phrases, and paragraphs for you
  • Change your voice in the essay so it no longer sounds like it was written by a teenager

Colleges can tell the difference between a 17-year-old's writing and a 50-year-old's writing. Not only that, they have access to your SAT or ACT Writing section, so they can compare your essay to something else you wrote. Writing that's a little more polished is great and expected. But a totally different voice and style will raise questions.

Where's the Line Between Helpful Editing and Unethical Over-Editing?

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your college essay editor is doing the right thing. Here are some guidelines for staying on the ethical side of the line.

  • An editor should say that the opening paragraph is kind of boring, and explain what exactly is making it drag. But it's overstepping for an editor to tell you exactly how to change it.
  • An editor should point out where your prose is unclear or vague. But it's completely inappropriate for the editor to rewrite that section of your essay.
  • An editor should let you know that a section is light on detail or description. But giving you similes and metaphors to beef up that description is a no-go.

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Proofreading (also called copy-editing) is checking for errors in the last draft of a written work. It happens at the end of the process and is meant as the final polishing touch. Proofreading is meticulous and detail-oriented, focusing on small corrections. It sands off all the surface rough spots that could alienate the reader.

Because proofreading is usually concerned with making fixes on the word or sentence level, this is the only process where someone else can actually add to or take away things from your essay . This is because what they are adding or taking away tends to be one or two misplaced letters.

Laser focus. Proofreading is all about the tiny details, so the ability to really concentrate on finding small slip-ups is a must.

Excellent grammar and spelling skills. Proofreaders need to dot every "i" and cross every "t." Good proofreaders should correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. They should put foreign words in italics and surround quotations with quotation marks. They should check that you used the correct college's name, and that you adhered to any formatting requirements (name and date at the top of the page, uniform font and size, uniform spacing).

Limited interference. A proofreader needs to make sure that you followed any word limits. But if cuts need to be made to shorten the essay, that's your job and not the proofreader's.

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A bad proofreader either tries to turn into an editor, or just lacks the skills and knowledge necessary to do the job.

Some signs that you're working with a bad proofreader are:

  • If they suggest making major changes to the final draft of your essay. Proofreading happens when editing is already finished.
  • If they aren't particularly good at spelling, or don't know grammar, or aren't detail-oriented enough to find someone else's small mistakes.
  • If they start swapping out your words for fancier-sounding synonyms, or changing the voice and sound of your essay in other ways. A proofreader is there to check for errors, not to take the 17-year-old out of your writing.

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What Do Colleges Think of Your Getting Help With Your Essay?

Admissions officers agree: light editing and proofreading are good—even required ! But they also want to make sure you're the one doing the work on your essay. They want essays with stories, voice, and themes that come from you. They want to see work that reflects your actual writing ability, and that focuses on what you find important.

On the Importance of Editing

Get feedback. Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College )

Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head. This exercise reveals flaws in the essay's flow, highlights grammatical errors and helps you ensure that you are communicating the exact message you intended. ( Dickinson College )

On the Value of Proofreading

Share your essays with at least one or two people who know you well—such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend—and ask for feedback. Remember that you ultimately have control over your essays, and your essays should retain your own voice, but others may be able to catch mistakes that you missed and help suggest areas to cut if you are over the word limit. ( Yale University )

Proofread and then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although we want substance, we also want to be able to see that you can write a paper for our professors and avoid careless mistakes that would drive them crazy. ( Oberlin College )

On Watching Out for Too Much Outside Influence

Limit the number of people who review your essay. Too much input usually means your voice is lost in the writing style. ( Carleton College )

Ask for input (but not too much). Your parents, friends, guidance counselors, coaches, and teachers are great people to bounce ideas off of for your essay. They know how unique and spectacular you are, and they can help you decide how to articulate it. Keep in mind, however, that a 45-year-old lawyer writes quite differently from an 18-year-old student, so if your dad ends up writing the bulk of your essay, we're probably going to notice. ( Vanderbilt University )

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Now let's talk about some potential people to approach for your college essay editing and proofreading needs. It's best to start close to home and slowly expand outward. Not only are your family and friends more invested in your success than strangers, but they also have a better handle on your interests and personality. This knowledge is key for judging whether your essay is expressing your true self.

Parents or Close Relatives

Your family may be full of potentially excellent editors! Parents are deeply committed to your well-being, and family members know you and your life well enough to offer details or incidents that can be included in your essay. On the other hand, the rewriting process necessarily involves criticism, which is sometimes hard to hear from someone very close to you.

A parent or close family member is a great choice for an editor if you can answer "yes" to the following questions. Is your parent or close relative a good writer or reader? Do you have a relationship where editing your essay won't create conflict? Are you able to constructively listen to criticism and suggestion from the parent?

One suggestion for defusing face-to-face discussions is to try working on the essay over email. Send your parent a draft, have them write you back some comments, and then you can pick which of their suggestions you want to use and which to discard.

Teachers or Tutors

A humanities teacher that you have a good relationship with is a great choice. I am purposefully saying humanities, and not just English, because teachers of Philosophy, History, Anthropology, and any other classes where you do a lot of writing, are all used to reviewing student work.

Moreover, any teacher or tutor that has been working with you for some time, knows you very well and can vet the essay to make sure it "sounds like you."

If your teacher or tutor has some experience with what college essays are supposed to be like, ask them to be your editor. If not, then ask whether they have time to proofread your final draft.

Guidance or College Counselor at Your School

The best thing about asking your counselor to edit your work is that this is their job. This means that they have a very good sense of what colleges are looking for in an application essay.

At the same time, school counselors tend to have relationships with admissions officers in many colleges, which again gives them insight into what works and which college is focused on what aspect of the application.

Unfortunately, in many schools the guidance counselor tends to be way overextended. If your ratio is 300 students to 1 college counselor, you're unlikely to get that person's undivided attention and focus. It is still useful to ask them for general advice about your potential topics, but don't expect them to be able to stay with your essay from first draft to final version.

Friends, Siblings, or Classmates

Although they most likely don't have much experience with what colleges are hoping to see, your peers are excellent sources for checking that your essay is you .

Friends and siblings are perfect for the read-aloud edit. Read your essay to them so they can listen for words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or phrases that just don't sound like you.

You can even trade essays and give helpful advice on each other's work.

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If your editor hasn't worked with college admissions essays very much, no worries! Any astute and attentive reader can still greatly help with your process. But, as in all things, beginners do better with some preparation.

First, your editor should read our advice about how to write a college essay introduction , how to spot and fix a bad college essay , and get a sense of what other students have written by going through some admissions essays that worked .

Then, as they read your essay, they can work through the following series of questions that will help them to guide you.

Introduction Questions

  • Is the first sentence a killer opening line? Why or why not?
  • Does the introduction hook the reader? Does it have a colorful, detailed, and interesting narrative? Or does it propose a compelling or surprising idea?
  • Can you feel the author's voice in the introduction, or is the tone dry, dull, or overly formal? Show the places where the voice comes through.

Essay Body Questions

  • Does the essay have a through-line? Is it built around a central argument, thought, idea, or focus? Can you put this idea into your own words?
  • How is the essay organized? By logical progression? Chronologically? Do you feel order when you read it, or are there moments where you are confused or lose the thread of the essay?
  • Does the essay have both narratives about the author's life and explanations and insight into what these stories reveal about the author's character, personality, goals, or dreams? If not, which is missing?
  • Does the essay flow? Are there smooth transitions/clever links between paragraphs? Between the narrative and moments of insight?

Reader Response Questions

  • Does the writer's personality come through? Do we know what the speaker cares about? Do we get a sense of "who he or she is"?
  • Where did you feel most connected to the essay? Which parts of the essay gave you a "you are there" sensation by invoking your senses? What moments could you picture in your head well?
  • Where are the details and examples vague and not specific enough?
  • Did you get an "a-ha!" feeling anywhere in the essay? Is there a moment of insight that connected all the dots for you? Is there a good reveal or "twist" anywhere in the essay?
  • What are the strengths of this essay? What needs the most improvement?

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Should You Pay Money for Essay Editing?

One alternative to asking someone you know to help you with your college essay is the paid editor route. There are two different ways to pay for essay help: a private essay coach or a less personal editing service , like the many proliferating on the internet.

My advice is to think of these options as a last resort rather than your go-to first choice. I'll first go through the reasons why. Then, if you do decide to go with a paid editor, I'll help you decide between a coach and a service.

When to Consider a Paid Editor

In general, I think hiring someone to work on your essay makes a lot of sense if none of the people I discussed above are a possibility for you.

If you can't ask your parents. For example, if your parents aren't good writers, or if English isn't their first language. Or if you think getting your parents to help is going create unnecessary extra conflict in your relationship with them (applying to college is stressful as it is!)

If you can't ask your teacher or tutor. Maybe you don't have a trusted teacher or tutor that has time to look over your essay with focus. Or, for instance, your favorite humanities teacher has very limited experience with college essays and so won't know what admissions officers want to see.

If you can't ask your guidance counselor. This could be because your guidance counselor is way overwhelmed with other students.

If you can't share your essay with those who know you. It might be that your essay is on a very personal topic that you're unwilling to share with parents, teachers, or peers. Just make sure it doesn't fall into one of the bad-idea topics in our article on bad college essays .

If the cost isn't a consideration. Many of these services are quite expensive, and private coaches even more so. If you have finite resources, I'd say that hiring an SAT or ACT tutor (whether it's PrepScholar or someone else) is better way to spend your money . This is because there's no guarantee that a slightly better essay will sufficiently elevate the rest of your application, but a significantly higher SAT score will definitely raise your applicant profile much more.

Should You Hire an Essay Coach?

On the plus side, essay coaches have read dozens or even hundreds of college essays, so they have experience with the format. Also, because you'll be working closely with a specific person, it's more personal than sending your essay to a service, which will know even less about you.

But, on the minus side, you'll still be bouncing ideas off of someone who doesn't know that much about you . In general, if you can adequately get the help from someone you know, there is no advantage to paying someone to help you.

If you do decide to hire a coach, ask your school counselor, or older students that have used the service for recommendations. If you can't afford the coach's fees, ask whether they can work on a sliding scale —many do. And finally, beware those who guarantee admission to your school of choice—essay coaches don't have any special magic that can back up those promises.

Should You Send Your Essay to a Service?

On the plus side, essay editing services provide a similar product to essay coaches, and they cost significantly less . If you have some assurance that you'll be working with a good editor, the lack of face-to-face interaction won't prevent great results.

On the minus side, however, it can be difficult to gauge the quality of the service before working with them . If they are churning through many application essays without getting to know the students they are helping, you could end up with an over-edited essay that sounds just like everyone else's. In the worst case scenario, an unscrupulous service could send you back a plagiarized essay.

Getting recommendations from friends or a school counselor for reputable services is key to avoiding heavy-handed editing that writes essays for you or does too much to change your essay. Including a badly-edited essay like this in your application could cause problems if there are inconsistencies. For example, in interviews it might be clear you didn't write the essay, or the skill of the essay might not be reflected in your schoolwork and test scores.

Should You Buy an Essay Written by Someone Else?

Let me elaborate. There are super sketchy places on the internet where you can simply buy a pre-written essay. Don't do this!

For one thing, you'll be lying on an official, signed document. All college applications make you sign a statement saying something like this:

I certify that all information submitted in the admission process—including the application, the personal essay, any supplements, and any other supporting materials—is my own work, factually true, and honestly presented... I understand that I may be subject to a range of possible disciplinary actions, including admission revocation, expulsion, or revocation of course credit, grades, and degree, should the information I have certified be false. (From the Common Application )

For another thing, if your academic record doesn't match the essay's quality, the admissions officer will start thinking your whole application is riddled with lies.

Admission officers have full access to your writing portion of the SAT or ACT so that they can compare work that was done in proctored conditions with that done at home. They can tell if these were written by different people. Not only that, but there are now a number of search engines that faculty and admission officers can use to see if an essay contains strings of words that have appeared in other essays—you have no guarantee that the essay you bought wasn't also bought by 50 other students.

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  • You should get college essay help with both editing and proofreading
  • A good editor will ask questions about your idea, logic, and structure, and will point out places where clarity is needed
  • A good editor will absolutely not answer these questions, give you their own ideas, or write the essay or parts of the essay for you
  • A good proofreader will find typos and check your formatting
  • All of them agree that getting light editing and proofreading is necessary
  • Parents, teachers, guidance or college counselor, and peers or siblings
  • If you can't ask any of those, you can pay for college essay help, but watch out for services or coaches who over-edit you work
  • Don't buy a pre-written essay! Colleges can tell, and it'll make your whole application sound false.

Ready to start working on your essay? Check out our explanation of the point of the personal essay and the role it plays on your applications and then explore our step-by-step guide to writing a great college essay .

Using the Common Application for your college applications? We have an excellent guide to the Common App essay prompts and useful advice on how to pick the Common App prompt that's right for you . Wondering how other people tackled these prompts? Then work through our roundup of over 130 real college essay examples published by colleges .

Stressed about whether to take the SAT again before submitting your application? Let us help you decide how many times to take this test . If you choose to go for it, we have the ultimate guide to studying for the SAT to give you the ins and outs of the best ways to study.

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points?   We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download them for free now:

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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11 Synonyms for “Unfortunately” in a Formal Email

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Alex Carter

Understanding the nuances of professional communication is key to maintaining effective relationships and garnering respect in a professional setting. One such nuance is the use of synonyms to convey difficult or negative news. In this article, we will explore 11 synonyms for the word 'unfortunately' that can be used in formal emails.

The Importance of Synonyms in Formal Communication

In professional correspondence, repetition of the same word or phrase can be monotonous and unimpressive. Synonyms not only add diversity to your language, but also demonstrate a broader vocabulary and language proficiency. They can also subtly impact the tone and perception of your message. For instance, using different synonyms for 'unfortunately' can help soften the blow when delivering unfavorable news. It shows empathy and consideration for the recipient's feelings, which can contribute to building stronger professional relationships.

Below are some synonyms for 'unfortunately' that you can use in a formal email:

  • Regrettably
  • Disappointingly
  • With regret
  • With disappointment
  • It's a pity that
  • It's unfortunate that
  • It's regrettable that

Synonyms in Action: Examples and Usage

To fully grasp the usage of these synonyms, let's examine them in context. The table below illustrates how each synonym can be employed in a sentence.

Synonym Usage in a Sentence
Regrettably Regrettably, the conference has been postponed due to unforeseen circumstances.
Sadly Sadly, your application was not successful this time.
Disappointingly Disappointingly, we did not meet our third-quarter targets.
Alas Alas, the shipment did not arrive on time.
With regret With regret, we must reject your proposal.
Woefully Woefully, the project has been cancelled.
Unhappily Unhappily, I must inform you that your contract will not be renewed.
With disappointment With disappointment, we learned of your decision to leave the company.
It's a pity that It's a pity that we cannot accommodate your request at this time.
It's unfortunate that It's unfortunate that we cannot proceed as planned.
It's regrettable that It's regrettable that we had to make this decision.

Tips for Using Synonyms in Formal Emails

When using synonyms for 'unfortunately', it's essential to choose the right word for the context. Not all synonyms are interchangeable, as they each have slightly different connotations. For instance, 'woefully' may be too dramatic for some situations, while 'it's a pity that' might be more suitable for less serious matters.

  • Context is key . Consider the seriousness of the situation and the relationship with the recipient when choosing a synonym.
  • Avoid overuse . While synonyms add variety, overusing them can make your writing seem forced and unnatural. Use them sparingly for maximum impact.
  • Consider the tone . Some synonyms may sound overly formal or old-fashioned, so consider the overall tone of your email before choosing a synonym.

Common Missteps in Using Synonyms

While synonyms can enhance your professional writing, there are common mistakes to avoid. First, using a synonym without fully understanding its meaning or connotation can lead to miscommunication. For instance, 'alas' might be too dramatic or archaic for most business communication, while 'woefully' may convey a stronger sense of disappointment than intended.

  • Misusing synonyms . Always ensure you understand the meaning and connotation of a synonym before using it.
  • Choosing inappropriate synonyms . Some synonyms might not be suitable for all contexts or audiences. For instance, 'alas' might not be appropriate in a business email.

Applying Synonyms: Real-World Examples

Here are some real-world examples of how these synonyms can be used in formal emails:

Scenario Sentence
Informing a client of a delay Regrettably, the delivery of your order will be delayed by two days.
Rejecting a job application Sadly, we have decided to proceed with other candidates.
Reporting financial results Disappointingly, our profits have fallen below expectations this quarter.
Responding to a complaint With regret, we acknowledge your dissatisfaction with our services.
Cancelling a meeting Unhappily, we must cancel our scheduled meeting due to unforeseen circumstances.

Refining Your Professional Communication

Incorporating synonyms into your formal emails can greatly improve the quality and readability of your communication. They add variety, demonstrate your linguistic prowess, and can subtly influence the tone of your message. By using the synonyms for 'unfortunately' provided in this article, you can deliver unfavorable news in a more empathetic and considerate manner. Remember, effective communication is not just about the message, but also how it's delivered.

19 Other Ways to Say “Unfortunately”

Other Ways to Say Unfortunately

In everyday interactions, there are times when we need to deliver less-than-ideal news or express sympathy. The term “unfortunately” is often our choice.

In this article, we’ll look at other ways to say “unfortunately” in English, providing context and examples for each. Ready to improve your language toolkit?

Table of Contents

Other Ways to Say “Unfortunately”

Language is a powerful tool, and the words we choose can greatly influence the tone and reception of our messages. By expanding our vocabulary, we can convey messages with greater precision and empathy.

Expressions of Regret

Sometimes, we need to express regret or apologize for a situation. Here are some alternatives to “unfortunately” that convey a sense of regret:

1. Regrettably

Example: “ Regrettably , the event has been postponed due to unforeseen circumstances. “

Meaning : This term conveys a sense of sorrow or disappointment about a particular situation.

Usage : It’s often used in formal communications, such as official announcements or emails.

Example: “ Sadly , we won’t be able to attend the wedding. “

Meaning : This word expresses sorrow or unhappiness about a situation.

Usage : Suitable for both formal and informal settings, it’s a direct way to convey disappointment.

3. I’m afraid

Example: “ I’m afraid that’s not possible at the moment. “

Meaning : A polite way to convey bad news or decline a request.

Usage : Common in everyday conversations, especially when delivering news that might not be well-received.

Conveying Unexpected Outcomes

At times, we need to communicate outcomes that were not anticipated. Here are some phrases that can help:

4. To my dismay

Example: “ To my dismay , the package didn’t arrive on time. “

Meaning : Expresses surprise and disappointment about an unexpected outcome.

Usage : Suitable for situations where an outcome was contrary to one’s expectations.

5. Much to our chagrin

Example: “ Much to our chagrin , the project proposal was rejected. “

Meaning : A formal way to express strong disapproval or distress over an unexpected situation.

Usage : Often used in formal or written communications to emphasize disappointment.

6. On the downside

Example: “ The team performed exceptionally well. On the downside , our star player sustained an injury. “

Meaning : Introduces a negative aspect or drawback of a situation.

Usage : Useful in scenarios where there’s a need to present both positive and negative sides of a situation.

sad woman

Softening the Blow

When delivering unfavorable news, it’s sometimes necessary to soften the impact. Here are some phrases that can help:

7. On a less positive note

Example: “ The conference was a success. On a less positive note , we went over budget. “

Meaning : A gentle way to introduce less favorable news after sharing something positive.

Usage : Ideal for meetings or presentations where there’s a mix of good and bad news.

8. It’s a pity that

Example: “ It’s a pity that the workshop was canceled.”

Meaning : Expresses disappointment or regret about a situation.

Usage : Suitable for both casual and formal conversations to convey sympathy or regret.

Example: “ Alas , the concert was called off due to the rain. “

Meaning : An old-fashioned way to express grief, pity, or concern.

Usage : While it’s less common in modern conversations, it adds a poetic touch to one’s language.

More Phrases to Say “Unfortunately”

10. to our dismay.

Example: “ To our dismay , the event was canceled. “

Meaning : Expresses disappointment about an unexpected or unfavorable outcome.

Usage : Suitable for both formal and informal contexts when expressing regret or disappointment.

11. It’s regrettable that

Example: “ It’s regrettable that the meeting had to be postponed. “

Meaning : A formal way to express sorrow or disappointment about a situation.

Usage : Often used in official communications or formal settings.

12. It’s a shame that

Example: “ It’s a shame that the concert tickets sold out so quickly. “

Meaning : Expresses disappointment or regret about a missed opportunity or unfortunate event.

Usage : Suitable for casual conversations and informal settings.

13. It saddens me to say

Example: “ It saddens me to say that our trip has been canceled. “

Meaning : A personal way to express disappointment or regret.

Usage : This can be used in personal communications or when you want to emphasize the emotional impact of the news.

14. With regret

Example: “ With regret , we announce the closure of our store. “

Meaning : A formal way to express sorrow or disappointment.

Usage : Often used in official announcements or formal communications.

15. It’s disheartening that

Example: “ It’s disheartening that the project didn’t receive funding. “

Meaning : Expresses a sense of discouragement or disappointment.

Usage : Suitable for both formal and informal contexts when discussing setbacks or challenges.

16. It pains me to inform you

Example: “ It pains me to inform you that your application was not successful. “

Meaning : A personal and empathetic way to deliver unfavorable news.

Usage : Often used in personal communications or when the news has a significant emotional impact.

17. It’s lamentable that

Example: “ It’s lamentable that the event had to be called off due to bad weather. “

Meaning : A formal way to express sorrow or regret.

Usage : Suitable for written communications or formal announcements.

18. It’s unfortunate to note

Example: It’s unfortunate to note that the conference has been postponed indefinitely.

Meaning : A neutral way to convey unfavorable news or developments.

Usage : Can be used in reports, announcements, or formal communications.

19. It’s with a heavy heart that

Example: “ It’s with a heavy heart that we bid farewell to our beloved colleague. “

Meaning : Expresses deep sorrow or regret.

Usage : Suitable for emotional or significant announcements, such as farewells or memorials.

19 Other Ways to Say Unfortunately Infographic

Effective communication is not simply conveying information, but doing so with empathy and precision. Although “unfortunately” is a commonly used term to express regret or disappointment , diversifying our vocabulary allows us to communicate more effectively, tailoring our messages to different audiences and contexts. So the next time you find yourself reaching for “unfortunately,” consider one of the many alternatives discussed in this article. This will not only enrich your language but also allow you to connect more deeply with your audience.

For those interested in expanding their vocabulary and discovering alternative ways to convey the same sentiment, Thesaurus.com offers a comprehensive list of synonyms for ‘unfortunately’, such as ‘sadly’, ‘regrettably’, and ‘disastrously’. Exploring these alternatives can enrich our conversations and make our expressions more nuanced.

  • While “unfortunately” primarily conveys a negative sentiment, its impact can be softened depending on the context and the phrases used alongside it.
  • While “alas” is somewhat old-fashioned, it can be used for poetic or dramatic effect in modern conversations.
  • Familiarize yourself with cultural norms, avoid idiomatic expressions that might not translate well, and when in doubt, opt for clear and straightforward language.

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The Writing Center • University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

Procrastination

The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair. —Mary Heaton Vorse

What this handout is about

This handout will help you understand why you procrastinate and offer strategies to combat this common writer’s ailment.

Introduction

Everyone procrastinates. We put things off because we don’t want to do them, or because we have too many other things on our plates. Putting things off—big or small—is part of being human. If you are reading this handout, however, it is likely that your procrastination is troubling you. You suspect that you could be a much better writer if only you didn’t put off writing projects until the last minute. You find that just when you have really gotten going on a paper, it’s time to turn it in; so, you never really have time to revise or proofread carefully. You love the rush of adrenaline you get when you finish a paper ten minutes before it’s due, but you (and your body) are getting tired of pulling all-nighters. You feel okay about procrastinating while in college, but you worry that this habit will follow you into your working life.

You can tell whether or not you need to do something about your procrastination by examining its consequences. Procrastination can have external consequences (you get a zero on the paper because you never turned it in) or internal consequences (you feel anxious much of the time, even when you are doing something that you enjoy). If you put off washing the dishes, but the dishes don’t bother you, who cares? When your procrastination leaves you feeling discouraged and overburdened, however, it is time to take action.

Is there hope?

If you think you are a hopeless procrastinator, take heart! No one is beyond help. The fact that you procrastinate does not mean that you are inherently lazy or inefficient. Your procrastination is not an untamable beast. It is a habit that has some specific origin, and it is a habit that you can overcome. This handout will help you begin to understand why you procrastinate and give you some strategies for turning things around. For most procrastinators, however, there are no quick fixes. You aren’t going to wake up tomorrow and never procrastinate again. But you might wake up tomorrow and do one or two simple things that will help you finish that draft a little earlier or with less stress.

You may not be surprised to learn that procrastinators tend to be self-critical. So, as you consider your procrastination and struggle to develop different work habits, try to be gentle with yourself. Punishing yourself every time you realize you have put something off won’t help you change. Rewarding yourself when you make progress will.

If you don’t care why you procrastinate—you just want to know what to do about it—then you might as well skip the next section of this handout and go right to the section labeled “What to do about it.” If you skip to the strategies, however, you may only end up more frustrated. Taking the time to learn about why you procrastinate may help you avoid the cycle whereby you swear up and down that you will never procrastinate again, only to find that the next time you have a paper due, you are up until 3 a.m. trying to complete the first (and only) draft—without knowing why or how you got there.

Why we do it

In order to stop putting off your writing assignments, it is important to understand why you tend to do so in the first place. Some of the reasons that people procrastinate include the following:

Because we are afraid

  • Fear of failure: If you are scared that a particular piece of writing isn’t going to turn out well, then you may avoid working on it in order to avoid feeling the fear.
  • Fear of success: Some procrastinators (the author of this handout included) fear that if they start working at their full capacity, they will turn into workaholics. Since we procrastinate compulsively, we assume that we will also write compulsively; we envision ourselves locked in a library carrel, hunched over the computer, barely eating and sleeping and never seeing friends or going out. The procrastinator who fears success may also assume that if they work too hard, they will become mean and cold to the people around them, thus losing their capacity to be friendly and to have fun. Finally, this type of procrastinator may think that if they stop procrastinating, then they will start writing better, which will increase other people’s expectations, thus ultimately increasing the amount of pressure they experience.
  • Fear of losing autonomy: Some people delay writing projects as a way of maintaining their independence. When they receive a writing assignment, they procrastinate as a way of saying, “You can’t make me do this. I am my own person.” Procrastinating helps them feel more in control of situations (such as college) in which they believe that other people have authority.
  • Fear of being alone: Other writers procrastinate because they want to feel constantly connected to other people. For instance, you may procrastinate until you are in such a bind that someone has to come and rescue you. Procrastination therefore ensures that other people will be involved in your life. You may also put off writing because you don’t want to be alone, and writing is oftentimes a solitary activity. In its worst form, procrastination itself can become a companion, constantly reminding you of all that you have to do.
  • Fear of attachment: Rather than fearing separation, some people procrastinate in order to create a barrier between themselves and others. They may delay in order to create chaos in their lives, believing that the chaos will keep other people away.

Whether these fears appear in our conscious or subconscious minds, they paralyze us and keep us from taking action, until discomfort and anxiety overwhelms us and forces us to either a) get the piece of writing done or b) give up. (The preceding is a summary of Chapters 2-4 of Jane B. Burka and Lenora M. Yuen’s Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It.)

Because we expect ourselves to be perfect

Procrastination and perfectionism often go hand in hand. Perfectionists tend to procrastinate because they expect so much of themselves, and they are scared about whether or not they can meet those high standards. Perfectionists sometimes think that it is better to give a half-hearted effort and maintain the belief that they could have written a great paper, than to give a full effort and risk writing a mediocre paper. Procrastinating guarantees failure, but it helps perfectionists maintain their belief that they could have excelled if they had tried harder. Another pitfall for perfectionists is that they tend to ignore progress toward a goal. As long as the writing project is incomplete, they feel as though they aren’t getting anywhere, rather than recognizing that each paragraph moves them closer to a finished product.

Because we don’t like our writing

You may procrastinate on writing because you don’t like to re-read what you have written; you hate writing a first draft and then being forced to evaluate it, in all its imperfection. By procrastinating, you ensure that you don’t have time to read over your work, thus avoiding that uncomfortable moment.

Because we’re too busy

Practical concerns: jobs, other classes, etc.

Because it works

Unfortunately, procrastination helps reinforce itself. When we avoid doing something we dread (like writing) by doing something we enjoy (such as watching TV, hanging out with friends, etc.), we escape the dreaded task. Given such a choice, it’s no wonder that many of us choose to procrastinate. When we write a paper at the last minute and still manage to get a good grade, we feel all the more compelled to procrastinate next time around.

What to do about it

Now that you know a little bit about why you may have procrastinated in the past, let’s explore some of the strategies you might use to combat your procrastination tendencies, now and in the future. Experiment with whichever of these strategies appeals to you; if you try something and it doesn’t work, try something else! Be patient; improvement will come with practice.

Take an inventory

Figuring out exactly when and how you procrastinate can help you stop the behavior. It can be difficult to tell when you are procrastinating. Think about the clues that tell you that’s what you’re doing: for example, a nagging voice in your head, a visual image of what you are avoiding or the consequences of not doing it, physical ailments (stomach tightness, headaches, muscle tension), inability to concentrate, inability to enjoy what you are doing.

How do you procrastinate?

  • Try to ignore the task, hoping against hope that it will go away?
  • Over- or under-estimate the degree of difficulty that the task involves?
  • Minimize the impact that your performance now may have on your future?
  • Substitute something important for something really important? (For example, cleaning instead of writing your paper.)
  • Let a short break become a long one, or an evening in which you do no work at all? (For example, claiming that you are going to watch TV for ½ hour, then watching it all night.)
  • Focus on one part of the task, at the expense of the rest? (For example, keep working on the introduction, while putting off writing the body and conclusion).
  • Spend too much time researching or choosing a topic

Once you better understand how you procrastinate, you will be better able to catch yourself doing it. Too often, we don’t even realize that we are procrastinating—until it’s too late.

Create a productive environment

If you have made the decision to stop delaying on a particular writing project, it is critical that you find a place to work where you have at least half a chance of actually getting some writing done. Your dorm room may not be the place where you are most productive. Ditto the computer lab. If you have a laptop computer, try going someplace where you can’t connect to the Internet (e-mail and the Web are the bane of the procrastinator’s existence—as you probably already know). If you are a procrastinator, then chances are you are already pretty exasperated; don’t risk frustrating yourself even more by trying to write in an environment that doesn’t meet your needs.

CAUTION: The most skilled procrastinators will be tempted to take this suggestion too far, spending an inordinate amount of time “creating a productive environment” (cleaning, filing, etc.) and not nearly enough time actually writing. Don’t fall into that trap! While cleaning and filing are indeed worthy and necessary activities, if you only do this when you have an approaching writing deadline, then you are procrastinating.

While you are thinking about where to write, consider also when you will write. When are you most alert? Is it at 8 a.m., mid-morning, mid-afternoon, early evening, or late at night? Try to schedule writing time when you know you will be at your best. Don’t worry about when you “should” be able to write; just focus on when you are able to write.

Challenge your myths

In order to break the procrastination habit, we need to get past the idea that in order to write, we must have all the information pertaining to the topic, and we must have optimal writing conditions. In reality, writers never have all the information, and conditions are never optimal.

Think of a writing project that you are currently putting off. On one side of a piece of paper, write down all the reasons for your delay. On the other side, argue (as convincingly as possible!) against the delay.

Myth #1: “I can’t function in a messy environment. I can’t possibly write this paper until I have cleaned my apartment.”

Challenge: There are no conditions that are necessary in order for you to write, save two: 1) You must have a writing implement (e.g., a keyboard or a pen) and 2) you must have someplace for writing to go, such as into a computer or onto a piece of paper. If, when faced with a writing project, you start piling up prerequisites for all the things you must do before you can possibly start writing, consider whether you might in fact be making excuses—in other words, procrastinating.

Myth #2: “I know it’s time for me to start writing, but I just haven’t done enough research yet. I’ll spend one more night at the library, and then I’ll start writing my paper.”

Challenge: Truth be told, you will never collect all the information you possibly could for your paper. Better to write a tightly-crafted argument with the information you have NOW, AT THIS VERY MOMENT, than to keep doing research and risk throwing your paper together at the last minute.

Myth #3: “I do my best work under pressure.”

Challenge: There are lots of other ways to create pressure for yourself, besides waiting until the night before the paper is due to start writing it. You can set a time limit for yourself—for example, “I will write this paragraph in ½ hour”—or you can pretend that the paper is a timed essay exam. If you do this a week or two before the paper is due, you’ll have a draft in plenty of time to revise and edit it.

Myth #4: “In order to work on my paper, I must have six uninterrupted hours.”

Challenge: You can and should work on a paper in one hour blocks (or shorter). This will help you break the writing task down into smaller pieces, thereby making it seem more manageable. If you know that you can work on one part of the paper for one hour, then it won’t seem so daunting, and you will be less likely to procrastinate.

Some writers find, however, that they do need longer blocks of time in order to really produce anything. Therefore, like all of the strategies outlined here, if this one doesn’t work for you, throw it out and try something else. You might still find, however, that you are more productive when you plan to write “all morning” rather than “all day.”

Myth #5 : “What I write has to be perfect, ” AND/OR “I can’t write anything until I have a perfect thesis statement/intro.”

Challenge: A first draft (or a second, or a third, or even—egad!—the final product) does not have to be perfect. When we write an early draft, we need to turn off our internal critic and just get some words down on the page. The great thing about starting early on a writing project is that it leaves us plenty of time for revision, editing, and proofreading; so, we can set ourselves free to just let our writing flow, without worrying about sentence-level concerns such as grammar, punctuation, and style. You’ll find some other thoughts on editing in our video on proofreading and our handout on revision .

Break it down

The day you get the paper assignment (ideally), or shortly thereafter, break the writing assignment up into the smallest possible chunks. By doing this, the paper never has a chance to take on gargantuan proportions in your mind. You can say to yourself, “Right now, I’m going to write the introduction. That’s all, just the introduction!” And you may be more likely to sit down and do that, than you will to sit down and “write the paper.”

Get a new attitude

We shoot ourselves in the foot, to begin with, by telling ourselves how horrible a particular writing assignment is. Changing our attitude toward the task, when possible, may go a long way toward keeping us from procrastinating. Tell yourself that the task isn’t so bad or difficult, that you either know how to do it, or that you can learn how while you’re doing it. You may find, too, that if you start early on a particular assignment, your attitude never has a chance to get very negative in the first place! Simply starting to write can often help us feel more positive about writing.

Ask for help

  • Get an anti-procrastination coach. If you are really determined not to procrastinate, then get help from the supportive people in your life. Tell someone about your writing goal and timeline, and ask them to help you determine whether or not your plan is realistic. Once or twice a week, email with a friend, relative, or mentor, in order to report (admit?) on your progress, and declare your promise for the next week (or few days). If, despite your very good intentions, you start procrastinating again, do not think, “All is lost!” Instead, talk to someone about it. They may be able to help you put your slip into perspective and get back on track.
  • Get a buddy. See if you can find a friend to work alongside you. They don’t have to be writing a paper; in fact, they can be playing Solitaire, for all you care. What matters is that you arrange to meet them at the library (or wherever you have decided to write) at a particular time and stay there for a specific period of time, thus creating accountability.
  • Get help with your writing. If you are procrastinating because you think you are a weak writer, then ask someone (a Writing Center writing coach, a current or former professor or teaching assistant, a friend) to help you improve.
  • Form a writing group. A writing group is a great way for undergraduate and more advanced writers alike to create accountability, get feedback, and simply get reminded that you are not alone in the struggle to produce and to improve your writing. See our writing group packet at for more information on how to form and sustain a writing group. Dissertation writers may benefit not only from joining a writing group but also from reading our handout on the dissertation . This handout was written by a former Writing Center staff member who eventually completed her dissertation.

Get unblocked

Sometimes, we procrastinate because we feel stuck on a particular essay or section of an essay. If this happens, you have several options:

  • Turn off the screen. Type with a dark screen, so you can’t see what you’ve written, decide you don’t like it, and delete it immediately. Sometimes procrastination stems from insecurity about what to say, or whether we have anything to say. The important thing, in that case, is to get started and KEEP GOING. Turning off the screen may help lessen your fear and turn off your internal critic. When you turn it back on (or print out what you’ve written), you may find that you do have something to say, after all.
  • Write about writing. Take 15 minutes and write a letter to yourself about why you don’t want to write this. This lets you vent your frustrations and anxieties. Then, Take 15 minutes and write about what you could do to get unstuck. You can also try writing about what you’re going to write, making an initial assessment of the assignment. You won’t have the pressure of writing an actual draft, but you will be able to get something down on paper.
  • Write the easiest part first. You don’t have to start at the beginning. Whatever section you can do, do it! If you think that’s wimpy, and you would rather do the hardest part first so that you can get it out of the way, that’s fine—whatever works for you. If you start writing and you get stuck, write about why you’re stuck.
  • Talk it out. Try tape-recording yourself speaking the ideas you want to include in the paper, and then transcribe the tape.

Make yourself accountable

Set a writing deadline (other than the paper’s due date) for yourself by making an appointment at the Writing Center or telling your TA (or a former TA) that you’re going to give them a draft on such-and-such a date. If you make your Writing Center appointment for several days before the paper is due, then you may be motivated to have a draft finished. Or set an earlier appointment at the Writing Center to have a conversation about your plans for the draft. Talking out your ideas with someone will help you get them organized for subsequent writing.

Leave your work out

Keeping your work (books, notes, articles, etc.) physically out, in full view, gives you a reminder that you are in the middle of the paper, or that you need to start. Also, if you write in more than one shift, it can be helpful to leave off in the middle of a paragraph and leave your ‘tools’ where they are. When you return to the paper, you’ll be able to “warm up” by finishing that paragraph. Starting a new section cold may be more difficult.

Work on improving your writing when you don’t have a deadline

Investigate your writing process. First of all, you may not think you have a thing called a “writing process.” But you do—everyone does. Describe your writing process in detail.

Ask yourself:

  • When do I usually start on a paper?
  • What tools do I need (or think I need) in order to write?
  • Where do I write?
  • Do I like quiet or noise when I write?
  • How long a block of time do I need?
  • What do I do before I start?
  • What do I do at the end?
  • How do I feel at the end (after I have turned it in)?

Then ask yourself:

  • What do I like about my writing process?
  • What do I want to change?

Once you can see your writing process, then you can make a decision to change it. But take it easy with this—only work on one part at a time. Otherwise, you’ll get overwhelmed and frustrated—and we all know where that leads, straight down the procrastination road.

Evaluate your writing’s strengths and weaknesses

If you aren’t ready to evaluate your writing process completely (and it’s okay if you aren’t), then you could try just listing your strengths and weaknesses as a writer. For instance, perhaps you are great at creating thesis statements, but you have trouble developing arguments. Or, your papers are very well-organized, but your thesis and argument tend to fall a little flat. Identifying these issues will help you do two things: 1) When you write, you can play to your strength; and 2) You can choose one weakness and do something about it when you DON’T have a deadline.

Now, doing anything when you don’t have a deadline may sound strange to a procrastinator, but bear with me. Let’s say you’ve decided that your writing is too wordy, and you want to work on being more concise. So, some time when you don’t have a paper—but you do have a free hour—you waltz into the Writing Center and tell your tutor, “Hey, I want learn to how to write more clearly.” You confer, and you come away with some simple strategies for eliminating wordiness.

Here is why this may make a difference the next time you write a paper, regardless of whether or not you have procrastinated (again!): You print out your draft. It’s 1 a.m. You go to bed. The next morning, you read over your paper (it’s due at noon). You say to yourself, “Hmmm, I notice I’m being too wordy.” BUT, rather than concluding, “Oh, well, it’s too late, there isn’t anything I can do about that,” (as you may have in the past), you can choose to employ some of what you learned (previously, when you weren’t under the gun) to make your writing more concise. You edit the paper accordingly. You turn it in.

When your instructor hands the papers back the following week, there are far fewer instances of “awkward,” “unclear,” etc. in the margins. Voila! You’ve made a positive change in your writing process!

What does this have to do with procrastination? Well, making one small change in your writing process creates momentum. You begin to feel more positive about your writing. You begin to be less intimidated by writing assignments. And—eventually—you start them earlier, because they just aren’t as big a deal as they used to be.

Evaluating the strengths and weaknesses in your writing gives you a sense of control. Your writing problems are solvable problems. Working on your writing when you don’t have a deadline helps you gain insight and momentum. Soon, writing becomes something that, while you may not look forward to it, you don’t dread quite as much. Thus, you don’t procrastinate quite as much.

This strategy also accounts for the fact that if you perceive procrastination as having been successful for you in the past, you aren’t going to give it up right away

Hone your proofreading and editing skills

If you procrastinate on writing because you don’t like to re-read what you have written, the good news is this: you can learn specific proofreading , revising , and editing strategies. If you finish your paper ahead of time, and you re-read it, and you don’t like it, you have options. Writing a first draft that you don’t like doesn’t mean you’re a terrible writer. Many writers—in fact, I would venture to say most—hate their first drafts. Neither Leo Tolstoy nor Toni Morrison produce(d) brilliant prose the first time around. In fact, Morrison (a big fan of revision) said recently that you don’t have to love your writing just because you wrote it! If you practice some revision and editing strategies, you may feel more comfortable with the idea of re-reading your papers. You’ll know that if you find weaknesses in the draft (and you will), you can do something to improve those areas.

Learn how to tell time

One of the best ways to combat procrastination is to develop a more realistic understanding of time. Procrastinators’ views of time tend to be fairly unrealistic. “This paper is only going to take me about five hours to write,” you think. “Therefore, I don’t need to start on it until the night before.” What you may be forgetting, however, is that our time is often filled with more activities than we realize. On the night in question, for instance, let’s say you go to the gym at 4:45 p.m. You work out (1 hour), take a shower and dress (30 minutes), eat dinner (45 minutes), and go to a sorority meeting (1 hour). By the time you get back to your dorm room to begin work on the paper, it is already 8:00 p.m. But now you need to check your email and return a couple of phone calls. It’s 8:30 p.m. before you finally sit down to write the paper. If the paper does indeed take five hours to write, you will be up until 1:30 in the morning—and that doesn’t include the time that you will inevitably spend watching TV.

And, as it turns out, it takes about five hours to write a first draft of the essay. You have forgotten to allow time for revision, editing, and proofreading. You get the paper done and turn it in the next morning. But you know it isn’t your best work, and you are pretty tired from the late night, and so you make yourself a promise: “Next time, I’ll start early!”

Make an unschedule

The next time you have a writing deadline, try using an unschedule to outline a realistic plan for when you will write. An unschedule is a weekly calendar of all the ways in which your time is already accounted for. When you make an unschedule, you consider not only your timed commitments such as classes and meetings, but also your untimed activities such as meals, exercise, errands, laundry, time with friends and family, and the like. It is not a list of what you should do in a given week; rather it is an outline of the time that you will necessarily spend doing other things besides writing.

Once you have made your unschedule, take a look at the blank spaces. These represent the maximum number of hours that you could potentially spend writing. By starting with these blank spaces as a guide, you will be able to more accurately predict how much time you will be able to write on any given day. You may be able to see, for instance, that you really don’t have five hours to spend writing on the night before the paper is due. By planning accordingly, you will not only get a better night’s sleep, you may also end up with a better paper!

The unschedule might also be a good way to get started on a larger writing project, such as a term paper or an honors thesis. You may think that you have “all semester” to get the writing done, but if you really sit down and map out how much time you have available to write on a daily and weekly basis, you will see that you need to get started sooner, rather than later. In addition, the unschedule may reveal especially busy weeks or months, which will help you budget time for long-term projects.

Perhaps most importantly, the unschedule can help you examine how you spend your time. You may be surprised at how much (or how little) time you spend watching television, and decide to make a change. It’s especially important that you build time for fun activities into your unschedule. Otherwise, you will procrastinate in order to steal time for relaxation.

You can also use the unschedule to record your progress towards your goal. Each time you work on your paper, for example, mark it on the unschedule. One of the most important things you can do to kick the procrastination habit is to reward yourself when you write something, even if (especially if) that writing is only a little piece of the whole. Seeing your success on paper will help reinforce the productive behavior, and you will feel more motivated to write later in the day or week.

Set a time limit

Okay, so maybe one of the reasons you procrastinate on writing projects is that you just plain hate writing! You would rather be at the dentist than sitting in front of your computer with a blank Microsoft Word document staring you in the face. In that case, it may be helpful to set limits on how much time you will spend writing before you do something else. While the notation “Must work on Hemingway essay all weekend” may not inspire you to sit down and write, “Worked on Hemingway essay for ½ hour” just might. Or, if you tell yourself that you will write “all weekend,” for instance, the sheer agony of the thought may keep you from doing any writing at all. If, however, you say that you will write for two hours on Saturday afternoon, you may actually accomplish something. The important thing here is to keep your commitment to yourself. Even if, at the end of the two hours, you think you could keep going, stop. Go outside and enjoy the weather. Your procrastinating self needs to be able to trust your new non-procrastinating self the next time you say you will only write for a certain amount of time. If you go overboard this time, then the next time you say, “I’ll write for two hours and then stop,” the procrastinator within will respond, “Yeah, right! I’m going rollerblading!”

On the other hand, it may work better for you to trick yourself into working on your paper by telling yourself you’re only going to write for two hours, but then continuing to work if you’re feeling inspired. Experiment with both approaches and see which one seems to work best for you.

Be realistic about how long it takes you to write

Procrastinators tend to be heroic about time; they estimate that it will take them two hours to complete a task that would take most people four. Once you have determined that procrastination is hurting your writing, begin taking notice of how long it actually takes you to write. Many students have a “page an hour” rule. Perhaps you can write a page in an hour if you are totally rested, fed, and focused, your roommate isn’t home, and the wind is blowing just right. But what if the phone rings, what if you are tired, and what if you have to go to the bathroom? When you estimate how long it will take you to write something, expect that there will be interruptions along the way.

Parting thoughts

As you explore why you procrastinate and experiment with strategies for working differently, don’t expect overnight transformation. You developed the procrastination habit over a long period of time; you aren’t going to stop magically. But you can change the behavior, bit by bit. If you stop punishing yourself when you procrastinate and start rewarding yourself for your small successes, you will eventually develop new writing habits. And you will get a lot more sleep.

Works consulted

We consulted these works while writing this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find additional publications. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial . We revise these tips periodically and welcome feedback.

Burka, Jane M., and Lenora M. Yuen. 1983. Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It Now . Boston: Addison-Wesley Publishing.

Ellis, Albert, and William J. Knaus. 1977. Overcoming Procrastination . New York: Signet.

You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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Synonyms of unfortunately

  • as in sadly
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Thesaurus Definition of unfortunately

Synonyms & Similar Words

  • regrettably
  • distressingly
  • disgustingly
  • irritatingly
  • disturbingly
  • disagreeably
  • traumatically
  • appallingly
  • unsettlingly
  • horrendously
  • sickeningly
  • unpleasantly
  • perturbingly

Antonyms & Near Antonyms

  • fortunately
  • advantageously
  • excellently
  • wonderfully
  • marvelously
  • delightfully
  • sensationally
  • deliciously
  • gratifyingly
  • satisfyingly
  • magnificently
  • felicitously
  • pleasurably
  • enchantingly

Thesaurus Entries Near unfortunately

unfortunate

unfortunately

Cite this Entry

“Unfortunately.” Merriam-Webster.com Thesaurus , Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/unfortunately. Accessed 22 Jun. 2024.

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Avoid These Words and Phrases in Your Academic Writing

WriteOn

When writing an academic essay, thesis, or dissertation, your professor or advisor usually gives you a rubric with detailed expectations to guide you during the process. While the rubric will identify the major requirements for the paper, it will probably not tell you what words or phrases you need to avoid. Whether you want to earn a stellar grade on your next paper or you're hoping to get published in an academic journal, keep reading to discover words and phrases you need to avoid in your academic writing.

"A great deal of"

I encounter the phrase a great deal of in most academic papers that I edit. Avoid using this vague phrase, because your academic writing should be specific and informative. Instead of saying a great deal of, provide exact measurements or specific quantities.

"A lot"

Similar to the previous phrase (a great deal of), a lot is too vague and informal for an academic paper. Use precise quantities instead of this overly general phrase.

"Always"

Avoid using the word always in your academic writing, because it can generalize a statement and convey an absolute that might not be accurate. If you want to state something about all the participants in your study, use specific language to clarify that the statement applies to a consistent action among the participants in your study.

It is almost a cliché to tell you to avoid clichés, but it is an essential piece of writing advice. Clichés are unoriginal and will weaken your writing. In academic writing, using clichés will erode your credibility and take away from all the research and hard work you have put into your project.

What qualifies as a cliché? According to Dictionary.com , A cliché is an expression, idea, or action that has been overused to the point of seeming worn out, stale, ineffective, or meaningless. Your words should be original, carry meaning, and resonate with your readers, and this is especially important for academic writing. Most clichés have been used so frequently in so many different contexts that they have lost their meaning. To eliminate clichés, scan your paper for any phrases that you could type into an internet browser and find millions of search results from all different topic areas. If you are unsure if your favorite phrases are overused clichés, consult this Cliché List for a comprehensive list.

Contractions

Academic writing should be formal and professional, so refrain from using contractions. Dictionary.com offers the following advice regarding contractions: Contractions such as isn't, couldn't, can't, weren't, he'll, they're occur chiefly, although not exclusively, in informal speech and writing. They are common in personal letters, business letters, journalism, and fiction; they are rare in scientific and scholarly writing. Contractions occur in formal writing mainly as representations of speech. When you proofread your paper, change any contractions back to the original formal words.

Double negatives

Double negatives will confuse your readers and dilute the power of your words. For example, consider the following sentence:

"He was not unwilling to participate in the study."

The word not and the prefix un- are both negatives, so they cancel each other out and change the meaning of the sentence. If you want to convey that someone reluctantly participated in the study, express that clearly and explicitly.

"Etc."

The abbreviation etc. is short for the Latin word et cetera , which means and others; and so forth; and so on. Dictionary.com specifies that etc. is used to indicate that more of the same sort or class might have been mentioned, but for brevity have been omitted. I discourage writers from using etc. in academic writing, because if you are writing an academic paper, you are writing to share information or scholarly research, and you are not conveying any new information with the abbreviation etc. Instead of writing etc., explicitly state the words or list that you are alluding to with your use of etc. If you absolutely must use etc. , make sure you only use it if readers can easily identify what etc. represents, and only use etc. at the end of lists that are within parentheses.

"For all intents and purposes" and "for all intensive purposes"

These two phrases are often used interchangeably, but you should avoid both of them in your academic writing. Avoid the second phrase in all of your writing: For all intensive purposes is an eggcorn (a word or phrase that is mistakenly used for another word or phrase because it sounds similar). For all intents and purposes is generally a filler phrase that does not provide any new information, so you can usually omit it without replacing it.

An idiom is an expression whose meaning is not predictable from the usual meanings of its constituent elements. Idioms include phrases such as he kicked the bucket, and they are particularly problematic in academic writing, because non-native English speakers might not understand your intended meaning. Below are three of the idioms I encounter most frequently when editing academic papers:

  • All things being equal : All things being equal is usually an unnecessary or redundant phrase that you can simply omit without replacing with anything else.
  • In a nutshell : Instead of saying in a nutshell, use a more universal phrase such as in summary or in conclusion.
  • On the other hand : Idioms such as on the other hand are informal and will weaken your paper. Instead of writing the phrase on the other hand, consider using conversely.

In-text ampersands ("&")

Do not use ampersands in place of the word and in sentences. Most style guides dictate that you use an ampersand for parenthetical in-text citations, but you need to spell out the word and in your paper. An ampersand within the text of your paper is too informal for an academic paper.

"I think"

You do not need to include the phrase I think when explaining your point of view. This is your paper, and it should contain your original thoughts or findings, so it is redundant to include the phrase I think. Doing so will weaken your writing and your overall argument.

"Never"

Similar to the word " always, " avoid using the word never in your academic writing. Always and never will overgeneralize your statements. If you absolutely must use never in your academic writing, make sure that you specify that it applies only to the participants in your study and should not be applied to the general population.

"Normal"

Avoid using subjective terms such a normal in your academic papers. Instead, use scientific or academic terms such as control group or standard. Remember that what you consider normal might be abnormal to someone else, but a control group or standard should be objective and definable.

Passive voice

Passive voice is one of the most frequent issues that I correct when editing academic papers. Some students think passive voice provides a more formal tone, but it actually creates more confusion for your readers while also adding to your word count. As the UNC Writing Center explained , The primary reason why your instructors frown on the passive voice is that they often have to guess what you mean. Most style guidelines (APA, MLA, Chicago) also specify that writers should avoid passive sentences. Whether you're writing your first draft or proofreading for what feels like the hundredth time, you can change passive sentences by making sure that the subject of your sentence is performing the action.

One way to look out for passive voice is to pay attention anytime you use by or was. These two words do not always indicate passive voice, but if you pay attention, they can help you spot passive voice. For example, the following sentence uses passive voice:

"The study was conducted in 2021."

If your style guideline allows you to use personal pronouns, specify a subject and reword the sentence to say:

"We conducted the study in 2021."

If your style guideline dictates that you avoid personal pronouns, you can make the sentence active by saying:

"The researchers conducted the study in 2021."

There are exceptions to most writing tips, but not this one: You should never use profanity in your academic writing. Profanity is informal, and many people might find it offensive, crude, or rude. Even if you enjoy creating controversy or getting a rise out of your readers, avoid profane words that might offend professors or other readers.

Academic writing can feel overwhelming, but hopefully this list of words and phrases to avoid in academic writing will help you as you navigate your next big assignment. Although there are exceptions to some items on this list, you will grow as a writer if you learn to avoid these words and phrases. If you consult your professor or advisor's rubric, adhere to style guidelines, and avoid the words or phrases on this list, you might even have fun the next time you have to stay up all night to finish an academic paper.

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11 Other Ways to Say “Unfortunately”

unfortunately i work on my essay

Are you trying to share negative news with someone, but you’re worried about using “unfortunately”?

It might be good to look into some words that teach you how to say unfortunately in a positive way.

That’s what this article is here for! We’ll help you learn the best options for what to say instead of “unfortunately.”

Other Ways to Say “Unfortunately”

  • We regret to inform you
  • I’m afraid to say
  • Regrettably
  • I’m so sorry, but
  • Sorry about this
  • We’re sad to say
  • In an unfortunate turn of events
  • While it brings me sorrow, I must tell you
  • I’m very sorry but

KEY TAKEAWAYS

  • “Unfortunately” is correct and works in business contexts, though it is a bit dismissive and impersonal.
  • “We regret to inform you” works well in formal emails to show you do not wish to share bad news.
  • “I’m afraid to say” is a more conversational option that works really well.

Plenty of great options are available, and it’s worth looking into them! Keep reading to learn more about the best alternatives available.

You can also find out whether “unfortunately” is formal later in the article. Feel free to skip to the final section if that’s what you came here to find out.

We Regret to Inform You (Formal)

“We regret to inform you” is a fantastic formal synonym adopted by many professional organizations. It’s very common to see this phrase included in business emails when sharing bad news with someone.

Generally, “we regret to inform you” works when emailing clients or customers . It shows that you care about their predicament and want to offer them your sincerest apologies .

It’s commonly seen in customer service settings to show that you do not wish to share bad news with someone. Also, “we” implies you are speaking on behalf of a company rather than yourself.

Sometimes, it’s used when a candidate is unsuccessful with their application as well. It shows that you have bad news to share with them, and they will most likely not want to hear it.

You will certainly have more luck with “we regret to inform you” in professional contexts over “unfortunately.” It feels more genuine to the recipient and shows that you truly are sorry for the bad news you have to share.

Here are some examples showing you how to include it in an email:

Dear Adrain, We regret to inform you that we’ve had to go with a different candidate. They were more in line with what we were looking for. We wish you all the best, Doctors & Co.

Dear Dani, We regret to inform you that we could not find a solution to your problem. Please accept this discount voucher as a way of apology. All the best, Martin

I’m Afraid to Say (Informal)

“I’m afraid to say” is a great informal alternative you can use. It’s the perfect conversational option because it shows you do not wish to share negative news with someone you care about.

It’s quite polite to start a phrase with “I’m afraid.” That’s why you might come across it in an essay as well (though it depends on the tone of the essay).

Generally, “I’m afraid to say” works best when messaging coworkers or friends whom you might have to let down. If you’ve previously agreed to do something with them but have to cancel later, “I’m afraid to say” might be a good way to start your sentence.

You can also use “I’m afraid to say” in some formal settings. However, we don’t recommend using it over “unfortunately” in formal emails. It does not do as well when you’re trying to show that something did not go to plan.

These examples will show you how you can write it:

I’m afraid to say that things have not gone according to plan. We need to think of a new idea quickly.

So, I’m afraid to say that I’ll no longer be able to make it. I wish there was something else I could do.

Is It Formal to Say “Unfortunately”?

“Unfortunately” is formal , but it might not be the most effective term to use at the start of a sentence. Many businesses use “unfortunately” when delivering bad news to someone via email .

So, why is it not all that effective?

The issue comes from “unfortunately” sounding too dismissive and impersonal . Many people prefer to hear bad news when it seems like you’ve put more effort into caring about their situation.

For example:

  • Unfortunately, you were not successful.

Here, “unfortunately” works, but it’s not very caring. It simply shows that someone did not “succeed.”

  • We regret to inform you that you were not successful.

Here, “we regret to inform you” (the formal alternative) makes it sound like you genuinely care that someone did not succeed.

That’s why “unfortunately” isn’t always the best choice if you want to spare someone’s feelings.

Feel free to bookmark this article if you want to remind yourself of some of these things! That way, you’ll always have an alternative for “unfortunately” ready to go.

  • 14 Other Ways to Say “Looking Forward to the Interview”
  • 12 Other Ways to Say “Please Feel Free to”
  • 12 Other Ways to Say “I Hope You Are Okay“
  • 14 Other Ways to Say “I Am Reaching Out to You”

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Can I use 'Fortunately' in an academic paper

When using "Fortunately" in a technical paper, the appending statement can appear subjective; and hence shouldn't be used in an academic context (?). When used to highlight, for instance, the solution to a potential problem:

"Thing X must be able to do difficult task Y. Fortunately , many existing solutions are available that can do task Y"

It seems to me than the subjectivity of 'fortunately' actually depends on context. If task Y is something controversial, such as drone strikes against military hospitals (to take a very extreme example), then the statement following 'Fortunately' can seem perverse to many: It comes across as if the author is in moral agreement of performing task Y.

Now imagine if task Y is something harmless, such as "the envisioned calculator must be able to store user preferences between power cycles.". In this case, 'Fortunately' is a very applicable adverb to use: "Fortunately, many cheap forms of solid state storage are commercially available in the target form factor."

Can I/Is it safe to use 'Fortunately' in an academic paper?

  • writing-style

Massimo Ortolano's user avatar

  • I think it's fine. In your example, "Fortunately, many cheap forms of solid state storage are commercially available in the target form factor" I think the word "fortunately" adds clarity. –  littleO Commented Dec 1, 2019 at 11:28
  • If you like, you can begin a sentence with: "Fortunately for thing X, all obstacles were removed and a task Y was ...." –  user92331 Commented Dec 1, 2019 at 12:21

2 Answers 2

If you, yourself, question the usage, then you should probably avoid it.

I think that in the present case, if you need a bridging word, then "However" works just as well.

In general it is probably a bad idea to ban any given word, not knowing all possible contexts in which it might be used.

That said, I find no problem with using "Fortunately" in this context. It is, indeed, fortunate that the times and the work of others have come together to provide us with ways to a solution of the problem at hand. In other times it might not have been possible, for example.

Buffy's user avatar

Yes, but in the interest of brevity, I suggest leaving it out. There's no clear benefit to using the word.

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

  • Essay 1: Summer Program
  • Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
  • Essay 3: Why Medicine
  • Essay 4: Love of Writing
  • Essay 5: Starting a Fire
  • Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
  • Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
  • Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
  • Essay 9: Eritrea
  • Essay 10: Journaling
  • Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

unfortunately i work on my essay

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  • unfortunately

adverb as in unluckily

Strongest match

Strong match

  • regrettably

Weak matches

  • disastrously
  • unsuccessfully

adverb as in inappropriately

  • inopportunely

Discover More

Example sentences.

If that existed, then it would probably make it more attractive for the county or city to connect their wetlands with their climate action plans but unfortunately that’s not the case.

Most venture capital firms fund what they know, and unfortunately few understand the affordable housing community, which is largely minority with female heads of household.

The people they cast were of that age or close to it, and that’s unfortunately uncommon.

Now, unfortunately, her mother is gravely ill, and I know I will soon need to express my sympathy.

If you leave the kid just for a few minutes, they’re very vulnerable and they can unfortunately die.

Unfortunately, this is more about protecting the legacy of a ‘great man.’

I wish I could be writing to you under better circumstances, but unfortunately those avenues have closed up.

Unfortunately, the underground tunnels that were used to transport booze and, if necessary, escaping patrons, are off-limits.

Unfortunately, the most confused Ebola alarmists had millions of followers: Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter.

Unfortunately, that means suppressing fire or cutting down all the pretty uninfected trees can cause mistletoe outbreaks.

This was my sincere endeavor, in those many discourses I had with that monarch, although it unfortunately failed of success.

My memory is well stored, but unfortunately I have never kept a diary or commonplace book of any kind.

To drop on one knee and level his piece was the work of an instant, but unfortunately he snapped a dry twig in doing so.

Unfortunately Massna's record was not such as to inspire confidence in the purity of his intentions.

Unfortunately, I had studied so little at that time, that I don't feel as if I were competent to judge him.

Related Words

Words related to unfortunately are not direct synonyms, but are associated with the word unfortunately . Browse related words to learn more about word associations.

adverb as in inadequately

  • blunderingly
  • defectively
  • erroneously
  • haphazardly
  • imperfectly
  • incompetently
  • ineffectively
  • maladroitly
  • negligently
  • unfavorably
  • unsatisfactorily
  • unskillfully

adverb as in giving small ground for hope

  • desperately
  • unavailingly

adverb as in very

  • discouragingly
  • disturbingly
  • drastically
  • exceedingly
  • frightfully
  • notoriously
  • staggeringly
  • unbelievably

adverb as in regrettably

On this page you'll find 28 synonyms, antonyms, and words related to unfortunately, such as: sadly, regrettably, disastrously, dismally, grievously, and horribly.

From Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition Copyright © 2013 by the Philip Lief Group.

unfortunately i work on my essay

20 đề Đánh giá năng lực ĐHQG Hà Nội tặng sách Tự học bất kì

unfortunately i work on my essay

25 đề Đánh giá năng lực ĐHQG TP.HCM Tặng sách Tự học bất kì

unfortunately i work on my essay

Combo Câu hỏi lý thuyết trọng tâm Vật lý & Hoá học tặng sổ tay Toán

unfortunately i work on my essay

Combo Sách Bộ đề Khối A (Toán - Lý - Hóa)

unfortunately i work on my essay

Combo Sách Bộ đề Khối C (Văn - Sử - Địa)

unfortunately i work on my essay

Luyện thi IELTS 5.5+

unfortunately i work on my essay

  • Tiếng Anh (mới)
  • Đánh giá năng lực
  • ĐH Bách Khoa

Unfortunately, I (work)______ on my essay next week so I won’t be able to watch the match.

B. will work

C. will be working

D. will have worked

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Dấu hiệu: next week, I won’t be able to watch the match =>sử dụng thì tương lai tiếp diễn để diễn tả hành động sẽ đang xảy ra tại một thời điểm cụ thể trong tương lai

Cấu trúc: S + will be Ving

=>Unfortunately, I  will be working on my essay next week so I won’t be able to watch the match.

Tạm dịch: Rất tiếc, tôi sẽ làm bài luận vào tuần tới nên tôi sẽ không thể xem trận đấu.

Đáp án cần chọn là: C

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CÂU HỎI HOT CÙNG CHỦ ĐỀ

When they (come) __________tomorrow, we (swim) _________in the sea.

A. come – swim

B. are coming – swim

C. are coming - are swimming

D. come - will be swimming

I’m going on holiday on Saturday. This time next week I............on a beach.

A. will lie

B. am lying

C. will be lying

D. should be lying

In a few minutes, when the clock strikes six, I (wait)__________ for you here.

B. am waiting

C. will wait

D. will be waiting

If you call her at six, she (probably practice) ________the piano.

A. will probably be practicing

B. will be probably practicing

C. probably will be practicing

D. will be practicing probably

At 8 o’clock this evening my friends and I ____ a famous film at the cinema.

A. will have watched

B. have watched

C. will watch   

D. will be watching

They ______ table tennis when their father comes back home at 5 p.m. tomorrow.

A. will play

B. will be playing    

C. play                                    

D. would play

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How to do IELTS

IELTS Cambridge 19 Essay: Competition

by Dave | Cambridge 19 | 0 Comment

IELTS Cambridge 19 Essay: Competition

This is an IELTS writing task 2 sample answer essay from the newly released Cambridge IELTS 19 book of past tests on the topic of competition.

If you sign up for my Patreon below, you will get access to many years’ worth of past EBook and PDFs – that are only available on Patreon here:

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IELTS Essay: Competition

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many argue that competing in a variety of daily environments is a positive, while others feel a focus on cooperation would be ideal. In my opinion, although competition can yield transformational results, it is more valuable to embrace cooperation as a guiding principle.

Those who argue in favor of competition contend that it serves as powerful motivation. Examples of the impact of competition exend to many segments of life, including school and work. In schools, the desire to compete can lead a student to study harder than their classmates in order to achieve better grades and secure esteem from teachers and family members. At work, competition for promotions and higher compensation packages is the entire reason that individuals work diligently in the majority of company contexts. However, at home, competition rarely has positive ramifications. Family members that are consistently competing for admiration and recoginition are likely to suffer from some degree of poor mental health.

Indeed, there is greater value in fostering a cooperative environment. When individuals work together in teams, whether it be at school, work, or in the home, they are more likely to experience high levels of motivation, and more crucially, enjoyment. Competition can serve as a catalyst for achievement but is unlikely to engender the same heights of unifying satisfaction. A standout example of this would be the dynamics present on a sports team at any level of competition. Even though the players on the team are engaged in a competition, the most memorable and lasting memories of their experiences are more likely to come from small moments of comradery shared with teammates. This is the reason that many cite times spent working in groups towards a common goal as the highlights of life.

In conclusion, although competition can encourage innovation, cooperation provides a more vital environment of mutual respect and enjoyment of life. Depending on the situation, it is therefore imperative to seek cooperative understanding.

1. Many argue that competing in a variety of daily environments is a positive, while others feel a focus on cooperation would be ideal. 2. In my opinion, although competition can yield transformational results, it is more valuable to embrace cooperation as a guiding principle.

  • Paraphrase the overall essay topic.
  • Write a clear opinion. Read more about introductions here .

1. Those who argue in favor of competition contend that it serves as powerful motivation. 2. Examples of the impact of competition extend to many segments of life, including school and work. 3. In schools, the desire to compete can lead a student to study harder than their classmates in order to achieve better grades and secure esteem from teachers and family members. 4. At work, competition for promotions and higher compensation packages is the entire reason that individuals work diligently in the majority of company contexts. 5. However, at home, competition rarely has positive ramifications. 6. Family members that are consistently competing for admiration and recognition are likely to suffer from some degree of poor mental health.

  • Write a topic sentence with a clear main idea at the end.
  • Explain your main idea.
  • Develop it with specific or hypothetical examples.
  • Keep developing it fully.
  • Better to have more detail.
  • This paragraph has a concession because I agree with the other side.

1. Indeed, there is greater value in fostering a cooperative environment. 2. When individuals work together in teams, whether it be at school, work, or in the home, they are more likely to experience high levels of motivation, and more crucially, enjoyment. 3. Competition can serve as a catalyst for achievement but is unlikely to engender the same heights of unifying satisfaction. 4. A standout example of this would be the dynamics present on a sports team at any level of competition. 5. Even though the players on the team are engaged in a competition, the most memorable and lasting memories of their experiences are more likely to come from small moments of comradery shared with teammates. 6. This is the reason that many cite times spent working in groups towards a common goal as the highlights of life.

  • Write a new topic sentence with a new main idea at the end.
  • Explain your new main idea.
  • Include specific details and examples.
  • Add as much information as you can and make sure it links logically.
  • This essay is a bit long – aim for about 275 words.
  • Finish the paragraph strong.

1. In conclusion, although competition can encourage innovation, cooperation provides a more vital environment of mutual respect and enjoyment of life. 2. Depending on the situation, it is therefore imperative to seek cooperative understanding.

  • Summarise your main ideas.
  • Include a final thought. Read more about conclusions here .

What do the words in bold below mean? Make some notes on paper to aid memory and then check below.

Many argue that competing in a variety of daily environments is a positive, while others feel a focus on cooperation would be ideal . In my opinion, although competition can yield transformational results , it is more valuable to embrace cooperation as a guiding principle .

Those who argue in favor of competition contend that it serves as powerful motivation . Examples of the impact of competition extend to many segments of life , including school and work. In schools, the desire to compete can lead a student to study harder than their classmates in order to achieve better grades and secure esteem from teachers and family members . At work, competition for promotions and higher compensation packages is the entire reason that individuals work diligently in the majority of company contexts . However, at home, competition rarely has positive ramifications . Family members that are consistently competing for admiration and recoginition are likely to suffer from some degree of poor mental health .

Indeed , there is greater value in fostering a cooperative environment . When individuals work together in teams, whether it be at school, work, or in the home, they are more likely to experience high levels of motivation , and more crucially , enjoyment . Competition can serve as a catalyst for achievement but is unlikely to engender the same heights of unifying satisfaction . A standout example of this would be the dynamics present on a sports team at any level of competition . Even though the players on the team are engaged in a competition , the most memorable and lasting memories of their experiences are more likely to come from small moments of comradery shared with teammates . This is the reason that many cite times spent working in groups towards a common goal as the highlights of life.

In conclusion, although competition can encourage innovation, cooperation provides a more vital environment of mutual respect and enjoyment of life . Depending on the situation , it is therefore imperative to seek cooperative understanding .

For extra practice, write an antonym (opposite word) on a piece of paper to help you remember the new vocabulary:

competing – contending a variety of daily environments – diverse range of daily settings focus on cooperation – prioritize collaborative efforts ideal – optimal yield transformational results – produce revolutionary outcomes more valuable – of greater worth embrace cooperation as a guiding principle – adopt collaboration as a core belief in favor of – supportive of serves as powerful motivation – acts as a strong driving force impact – influence extend to many segments of life – reach various aspects of life desire – aspiration study harder than – put in extra effort compared to in order to achieve better grades – to attain improved academic performance secure esteem from teachers and family members – gain recognition from educators and relatives higher compensation packages – increased salary offerings entire reason – sole purpose diligently in the majority of company contexts – consistently in most corporate scenarios rarely has positive ramifications – seldom has positive consequences consistently competing – continuously vying admiration – respect recognition – acknowledgment likely to suffer from some degree of poor mental health – prone to experience certain levels of mental distress Indeed – unquestionably greater value in fostering a cooperative environment – enhanced significance in cultivating a collaborative atmosphere whether it be at – whether it occurs in experience high levels of motivation – encounter elevated levels of drive more crucially – of greater importance enjoyment – pleasure serve as a catalyst for – act as a catalyst to unlikely to engender – improbable to generate heights of unifying satisfaction – pinnacle of unified contentment A standout example of this would be – An exceptional instance of this can be seen in dynamics present on – interactions existing within at any level of competition – regardless of the competition level engaged in a competition – involved in a contest memorable – unforgettable lasting memories – enduring recollections come from small moments of comradery shared with teammates – arise from small instances of camaraderie among teammates cite times spent working in groups towards a common goal – mention instances of collaborating in groups toward a shared objective highlights – emphasizes provides a more vital environment – offers a more dynamic setting mutual respect and enjoyment of life – shared respect and delight in life Depending on the situation – Depending on the circumstances imperative – crucial seek cooperative understanding – strive for collaborative comprehension

Pronunciation

Practice saying the vocabulary below and use this tip about Google voice search :

kəmˈpiːtɪŋ ə vəˈraɪəti ɒv ˈdeɪli ɪnˈvaɪrᵊnmənts ˈfəʊkəs ɒn kəʊˌɒpᵊrˈeɪʃᵊn aɪˈdɪəl jiːld ˌtrænsfəˈmeɪʃᵊnᵊl rɪˈzʌlts mɔː ˈvæljəbᵊl ɪmˈbreɪs kəʊˌɒpᵊrˈeɪʃᵊn æz ə ˈɡaɪdɪŋ ˈprɪnsəpᵊl ɪn ˈfeɪvər ɒv kənˈtɛnd sɜːvz æz ˈpaʊəfᵊl ˌməʊtɪˈveɪʃᵊn ˈɪmpækt ɪkˈstɛnd tuː ˈmɛni ˈsɛɡmənts ɒv laɪf dɪˈzaɪə ˈstʌdi ˈhɑːdə ðæn ɪn ˈɔːdə tuː əˈʧiːv ˈbɛtə ɡreɪdz sɪˈkjʊər ɪˈstiːm frɒm ˈtiːʧəz ænd ˈfæmᵊli ˈmɛmbəz ˈhaɪə ˌkɒmpɛnˈseɪʃᵊn ˈpækɪʤɪz ɪnˈtaɪə ˈriːzᵊn ˈdɪlɪʤᵊntli ɪn ðə məˈʤɒrəti ɒv ˈkʌmpəni ˈkɒntɛksts ˈreəli hæz ˈpɒzətɪv ˌræmɪfɪˈkeɪʃᵊnz kənˈsɪstᵊntli kəmˈpiːtɪŋ ˌædməˈreɪʃᵊn ˌrɛkəɡˈnɪʃᵊn ˈlaɪkli tuː ˈsʌfə frɒm sʌm dɪˈɡriː ɒv pɔː ˈmɛntᵊl hɛlθ ɪnˈdiːd ˈɡreɪtə ˈvæljuː ɪn ˈfɒstərɪŋ ə kəʊˈɒpᵊrətɪv ɪnˈvaɪrᵊnmənt ˈwɛðər ɪt biː æt ɪkˈspɪəriəns haɪ ˈlɛvᵊlz ɒv ˌməʊtɪˈveɪʃᵊn mɔː ˈkruːʃᵊli ɪnˈʤɔɪmənt sɜːv æz ə ˈkætəlɪst fɔː ʌnˈlaɪkli tuː ɪnˈʤɛndə haɪts ɒv ˈjuːnɪfaɪɪŋ ˌsætɪsˈfækʃᵊn ə ˈstændaʊt ɪɡˈzɑːmpᵊl ɒv ðɪs wʊd biː daɪˈnæmɪks ˈprɛzᵊnt ɒn æt ˈɛni ˈlɛvᵊl ɒv ˌkɒmpəˈtɪʃᵊn ɪnˈɡeɪʤd ɪn ə ˌkɒmpəˈtɪʃᵊn ˈmɛmᵊrəbᵊl ˈlɑːstɪŋ ˈmɛmᵊriz kʌm frɒm smɔːl ˈməʊmənts ɒv ˈkɒmreɪd ʃeəd wɪð ˈtiːmmeɪts saɪt taɪmz spɛnt ˈwɜːkɪŋ ɪn ɡruːps təˈwɔːdz ə ˈkɒmən ɡəʊl ˈhaɪˌlaɪts prəˈvaɪdz ə mɔː ˈvaɪtᵊl ɪnˈvaɪrᵊnmənt ˈmjuːʧuəl rɪˈspɛkt ænd ɪnˈʤɔɪmənt ɒv laɪf dɪˈpɛndɪŋ ɒn ðə ˌsɪʧuˈeɪʃᵊn ɪmˈpɛrətɪv siːk kəʊˈɒpᵊrətɪv ˌʌndəˈstændɪŋ

Vocabulary Practice

I recommend getting a pencil and piece of paper because that aids memory. Then write down the missing vocabulary from my sample answer in your notebook:

Many argue that c__________g in a________________________________s is a positive, while others feel a _________________________ n would be ideal . In my opinion, although competition can y _______________________________ s , it is m_____________e to e ____________________________________ e .

Those who argue i_____________f competition c __________ d that it s________________________n . Examples of the i_______t of cooperation e__________________________e , including school and work. In schools, the d_______e to compete can lead a student to s__________________n their classmates i _______________________________________ s and s ______________________________________________ s . At work, competition for p__________-__s and h ______________________________ s is the e______________n that individuals work d _________________________________________________- s . However, at home, competition r_______________________s . Family members that are c__________________-g for a_____________n and r_____________n are l _________________________________________________________________ h .

I_________d , there is g________________________________________________t . When individuals work together in teams, w__________________t school, work, or in the home, they are more likely to e_________________________n , and m_____________y , e____________-t . Competition can s _______________________ r achievement but is u____________________r the same h ___________________________ n . A ___________________________________ e the d_____________-n a sports team a __________________________ n . Even though the players on the team are e________________-_n , the most m__________e and l ______________________ s of their experiences are more likely to c __________________________________________________________ s . This is the reason that many c ____________________________________________________ l as the h__________-s of life.

In conclusion, although competition can encourage innovation, cooperation p _________________________________ t of m ________________________________________________ e . D ______________________________ n , it is therefore i___________e to s _________________________________________ g .

Listening Practice

Learn more about this topic by watching from YouTube below and practice with these activities :

unfortunately i work on my essay

Reading Practice

Read more about this topic and use these ideas to practice :

https://bleacherreport.com/articles/1378106-the-10-greatest-michael-jordan-chicago-bulls-stories-ever

Speaking Practice

Practice with the following speaking questions from the real IELTS speaking exam :

  • How important is it for people to set goals?
  • Do people set different goals at different stages of life?
  • Are personal goals more important than professional goals?
  • What sort of goals do young people today set?
  • Are people becoming more pessimistic about their life goals?

Writing Practice

Practice with the related IELTS essay topic :

Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university.

Is this a positive or negative development?

IELTS Essay: Competition for University

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  • Secondary School

19. Unfortunately, I (work)________________ on my essay so I won t be able to watch the match." 1 had been working 2 will be working 3 could be work​

roshnidevlekar

1) had been working

Explanation:

Unfortunately, I had been working on my essay so I won't be able to watch the match

sangramtakmoghe

Unfortunately, I (work)________am working________ on my essay so I won t be able to watch the match."

New questions in English

Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other part of lives. Unfortunately, not many achieve this balance. what are the problems of this? Suggest some solutions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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When Your New Boss Is a Micromanager

  • Rebecca Knight

unfortunately i work on my essay

Why they might be hovering — and what you can do about it.

Building a relationship with a new boss can feel daunting, and it can be especially difficult if you feel like you’re being micromanaged. In this article, the writer talks with two experts about what to do in this demotivating situation. The first step is to figure out what’s behind your boss’s micromanaging tendencies. Maybe they’re genuinely trying to help, but their methods and cadence don’t match your work style or expectations. Once you’ve got a better grip on your boss’s motivations and gotten feedback on your own performance, focus on establishing credibility. If despite your best efforts nothing seems to be changing — especially if you believe your boss is intentionally sabotaging your work — experts say that unfortunately, there’s not much else you can do. It might be best to start searching for a new job, either within your organization or elsewhere.

Relentless scrutiny, constant hovering, incessant meddling — anyone who’s ever worked for a micromanager knows the drill. It’s a daily struggle of being second-guessed and sidelined , under a microscope, and on a tight leash. In a word, it’s oppressive.

  • RK Rebecca Knight is a journalist who writes about all things related to the changing nature of careers and the workplace. Her essays and reported stories have been featured in The Boston Globe, Business Insider, The New York Times, BBC, and The Christian Science Monitor. She was shortlisted as a Reuters Institute Fellow at Oxford University in 2023. Earlier in her career, she spent a decade as an editor and reporter at the Financial Times in New York, London, and Boston.

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  3. respected work of the word unfortunately work hard work#hardwork #trendingshorts #viral #shortvideo

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COMMENTS

  1. 12 Better Words For "Unfortunately" In Formal Emails

    When used in this way "afraid" doesn't mean "scared.". It's more like saying "sorry.". Like "unfortunately," "I'm afraid" can be used in both formal and informal situations. Here are some examples: Mr. Baird, I'm afraid you've misunderstood the assignment.

  2. 10 Other Ways to Say "Unfortunately" in A Formal Email (With Examples)

    I'm sorry to say. Much to my disappointment. It pains me to tell you. I deeply regret having to tell you. 1. Regrettably: "Regrettably" is a common replacement for "unfortunately," acknowledging the burden of delivering bad news. While acknowledging negativity, it softens the blow and introduces the news sensitively.

  3. Getting College Essay Help: Important Do's and Don'ts

    Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College) Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head.

  4. Words and Phrases to Avoid in Academic Writing

    It is also more formal than the ways in which we normally speak. The following words and phrases are considered too informal for a dissertation or academic paper. Taboo. Example. Alternative. A bit. The interviews were a bit difficult to schedule. The interviews were (difficult/somewhat difficult) to schedule. A lot of, a couple of.

  5. 11 Synonyms for "Unfortunately" in a Formal Email

    It shows empathy and consideration for the recipient's feelings, which can contribute to building stronger professional relationships. Below are some synonyms for 'unfortunately' that you can use in a formal email: Regrettably. Sadly. Disappointingly. Alas. With regret. Woefully. Unhappily.

  6. 19 Other Ways to Say "Unfortunately" (+Examples)

    To my dismay. Example: "To my dismay, the package didn't arrive on time." Meaning: Expresses surprise and disappointment about an unexpected outcome. Usage: Suitable for situations where an outcome was contrary to one's expectations. 5. Much to our chagrin. Example: "Much to our chagrin, the project proposal was rejected."

  7. Procrastination

    It's 8:30 p.m. before you finally sit down to write the paper. If the paper does indeed take five hours to write, you will be up until 1:30 in the morning—and that doesn't include the time that you will inevitably spend watching TV. And, as it turns out, it takes about five hours to write a first draft of the essay.

  8. UNFORTUNATELY Synonyms: 78 Similar and Opposite Words

    Synonyms for UNFORTUNATELY: sadly, lamentably, tragically, regrettably, dreadfully, unluckily, unhappily, badly; Antonyms of UNFORTUNATELY: fortunately, luckily ...

  9. Free Essay and Paper Checker

    Scribbr is committed to protecting academic integrity. Our plagiarism checker, AI Detector, Citation Generator, proofreading services, paraphrasing tool, grammar checker, summarizer, and free Knowledge Base content are designed to help students produce quality academic papers. We make every effort to prevent our software from being used for ...

  10. Avoid These Words and Phrases in Your Academic Writing

    These two phrases are often used interchangeably, but you should avoid both of them in your academic writing. Avoid the second phrase in all of your writing: For all intensive purposes is an eggcorn (a word or phrase that is mistakenly used for another word or phrase because it sounds similar). For all intents and purposes is generally a filler ...

  11. 11 Other Ways to Say "Unfortunately"

    KEY TAKEAWAYS. "Unfortunately" is correct and works in business contexts, though it is a bit dismissive and impersonal. "We regret to inform you" works well in formal emails to show you do not wish to share bad news. "I'm afraid to say" is a more conversational option that works really well. Plenty of great options are available ...

  12. Can I use 'Fortunately' in an academic paper

    In general it is probably a bad idea to ban any given word, not knowing all possible contexts in which it might be used. That said, I find no problem with using "Fortunately" in this context. It is, indeed, fortunate that the times and the work of others have come together to provide us with ways to a solution of the problem at hand.

  13. 10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

    Personal Statement Examples. Essay 1: Summer Program. Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American. Essay 3: Why Medicine. Essay 4: Love of Writing. Essay 5: Starting a Fire. Essay 6: Dedicating a Track. Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders. Essay 8: Becoming a Coach.

  14. 24 Synonyms & Antonyms for UNFORTUNATELY

    Find 24 different ways to say UNFORTUNATELY, along with antonyms, related words, and example sentences at Thesaurus.com.

  15. Worst essay I've ever written and I'm turning it in right now

    Not_Ghost. ADMIN MOD. Worst essay I've ever written and I'm turning it in right now. I just finished an essay I was giving 3 weeks to complete last minute and it's the biggest pile of trash I've ever written. It sounds like I have no idea what I'm talking about and gives the impression not only did I not actually do the assignment ...

  16. So i got a 58% on my essay, i worked so hard on it. and its ...

    /10 = class participation ---worth---- 10%of my grade /25 = resubmit the essay for final assignment ---worth---- 25%of my grade /10 = small 10% assignment I thought this was a bird course, and now this is my lowest mark. ... Look over your mark and take in the commentary. I hate to say it, but unfortunately working really hard on a paper doesn ...

  17. Unfortunately, I (work) on my essay so I won't be able to ...

    Unfortunately, I ____________ (work) on my essay so I won't be able to watch the match. - Dịch: Thật không may, tôi sẽ đang viết tiểu luận nên tôi sẽ không thể xem trận đấu. => Câu này được hiểu là lúc trận đấu diễn ra tôi sẽ đang phải viết tiểu luận. => Chia thì tương lai tiếp ...

  18. Unfortunately, I (work)______ on my essay next week so I won't be able

    At 8 o'clock this evening my friends and I ____ a famous film at the cinema. Hãy Đăng nhập hoặc Tạo tài khoản để gửi bình luận. Unfortunately, I (work)______ on my essay next week so I won't be able to watch the match. A. work B. will work C. will be working D. will have worked.

  19. IELTS Cambridge 19 Essay: Competition

    In my opinion, although competition can yield transformational results, it is more valuable to embrace cooperation as a guiding principle. Paraphrase the overall essay topic. Write a clear opinion. Read more about introductions here. 1. Those who argue in favor of competition contend that it serves as powerful motivation. 2.

  20. I have an essay due in ten hours that I haven't started ...

    It's the only way things change. Two: burn-out is distinctly different from normal end-of-term pressure; if you're beyond your limit consistently, you have to re-evaluate and listen to the symptoms your body and brain are giving you. Three: a pause isn't giving up; when you're exhausted, learn to rest, not quit.

  21. 19. Unfortunately, I (work)________________ on my essay so I ...

    Unfortunately, I (work)_____ on my essay so I won t be able to watch the match." - 38975372. wahabprince155 wahabprince155 18.04.2021 English Secondary School answered 19. Unfortunately, I (work)_____ on my essay so I won t be able to watch the match." 1 had been working 2 will be working 3 could be work See answers Advertisement Advertisement ...

  22. Nowadays, most people try to balance between work and other ...

    The work-life balance for modern society is becoming an unachievable task even after putting more efforts into it. Initially, this essay will suggest that the biggest complications by this circumstance are less quality time with family and health issues and then it will argue that decreasing the number of working hours and doing regular exercise are the most viable solutions | Band: 9

  23. Essays that didn't work : r/ApplyingToCollege

    Here's my essay: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. "Your clothes look gay.". "Your voice is pretty high.". "Are you sure you're not gay?".

  24. When Your New Boss Is a Micromanager

    Rebecca Knight is a journalist who writes about all things related to the changing nature of careers and the workplace. Her essays and reported stories have been featured in The Boston Globe ...