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This study The present study | lays the groundwork for future research into … provides the first comprehensive assessment of … establishes a quantitative framework for detecting … adds to the growing body of research that indicates … is the only empirical investigation into the impact of … has been one of the first attempts to thoroughly examine … appears to be the first study to compare the experiences of … has gone some way towards enhancing our understanding of … has confirmed the findings of Smith (2001) which showed that… |
A limitation of this study is that … Being limited to X, this study lacks … The small sample size did not allow … The major limitation of this study is the … This study was limited by the absence of … X makes these findings less generalisable to … Thirdly, the study did not evaluate the use of … It is unfortunate that the study did not include … The scope of this study was limited in terms of …
The study is limited by the lack of information on … The most important limitation lies in the fact that … The main weakness of this study was the paucity of … Since the study was limited to X, it was not possible to .. An additional uncontrolled factor is the possibility that … It was not possible to assess X; therefore, it is unknown if … An issue that was not addressed in this study was whether… The generalisability of these results is subject to certain limitations. For instance, … One source of weakness in this study which could have affected the measurements of X was …
This current study | is limited by | the absence of … the possible effect of … the small number of cases. the relatively small sample. the fact that it only surveyed … by the fact that it was restricted to … |
Notwithstanding these limitations, the study suggests that … Whilst this study did not confirm X, it did partially substantiate … Despite its exploratory nature, this study offers some insight into … In spite of its limitations, the study certainly adds to our understanding of the … Notwithstanding the relatively limited sample, this work offers valuable insights into … Although the current study is based on a small sample of participants, the findings suggest …
Future studies should… The question raised by this study is … The study should be repeated using … This would be a fruitful area for further work. Several questions still remain to be answered. A natural progression of this work is to analyse … More research using controlled trials is needed to … More broadly, research is also needed to determine … A further study could assess the long-term effects of … What is now needed is a cross-national study involving …
Considerably more work will need to be done to determine … The precise mechanism of X in plants remains to be elucidated. These findings provide the following insights for future research: … Large randomised controlled trials could provide more definitive evidence. This research has thrown up many questions in need of further investigation. A greater focus on X could produce interesting findings that account more for … The issue of X is an intriguing one which could be usefully explored in further research. If the debate is to be moved forward, a better understanding of X needs to be developed. I suggest that before X is introduced, a study similar to this one should be carried out on … More information on X would help us to establish a greater degree of accuracy on this matter.
Further | work needs to be done to establish whether … studies need to be carried out in order to validate … studies regarding the role of X would be worthwhile. experimental investigations are needed to estimate … work is needed to fully understand the implications of … research is required to establish the therapeutic efficiency of … modelling work will have to be conducted in order to determine … investigation and experimentation into X is strongly recommended. experiments, using a broader range of Xs, could shed more light on … research in other Xs is, therefore, an essential next step in confirming … |
Further research | might explore … could usefully explore how … should focus on determining … is required to determine whether … in this field would be of great help in … should be carried out to establish the … should be undertaken to explore how … on these questions would be a useful way of … needs to examine more closely the links between X and Y. could also be conducted to determine the effectiveness of … |
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The conclusion of your essay is like the grand finale of a fireworks display. It's the last impression you leave on your reader, the moment that ties everything together and leaves them with a lasting impact.
But for many writers, crafting a conclusion can feel like an afterthought, a hurdle to jump after the excitement of developing the main body of their work. Fear not! This article will equip you with the tools and techniques regarding how to write a conclusion for an essay that effectively summarizes your main points, strengthens your argument, and leaves your reader feeling satisfied and engaged.
In an essay, the conclusion acts as your final curtain call. It's where you revisit your initial claim (thesis), condense your main supporting arguments, and leave the reader with a lasting takeaway.
Imagine it as the bridge that connects your ideas to a broader significance. A well-crafted conclusion does more than simply summarize; it elevates your points and offers a sense of closure, ensuring the reader leaves with a clear understanding of your argument's impact. In the next section, you will find conclusion ideas that you could use for your essay.
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Here's a breakdown of various conclusion types, each serving a distinct purpose:
Technique | Description | Example |
---|---|---|
📣 Call to Action | Encourage readers to take a specific step. | "Let's work together to protect endangered species by supporting conservation efforts." |
❓ Provocative Question | Spark curiosity with a lingering question. | "With artificial intelligence rapidly evolving, will creativity remain a uniquely human trait?" |
💡 Universal Insight | Connect your argument to a broader truth. | "The lessons learned from history remind us that even small acts of courage can inspire change." |
🔮 Future Implications | Discuss the potential consequences of your topic. | "The rise of automation may force us to redefine the concept of work in the coming decades." |
🌍 Hypothetical Scenario | Use a "what if" scenario to illustrate your point. | "Imagine a world where everyone had access to clean water. How would it impact global health?" |
The ideal length of a conclusion depends on the overall length of your essay, but there are some general guidelines:
Here are some additional factors to consider:
Remember: The most important aspect is ensuring your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, leaves a lasting impression, and doesn't feel rushed or tacked on.
Here's a helpful rule of thumb:
How many sentences should a conclusion be?
Essay Length 📝 | Recommended Sentence Range 📏 |
---|---|
Shorter Essays (500-750 words) 🎈 | 3-5 sentences |
Medium Essays (750-1200 words) 📚 | 5-8 sentences |
Longer Essays (1200+ words) 🏰 | 8-10 sentences |
Transition words for conclusion act like signposts for your reader. They smoothly guide them from the main body of your essay to your closing thoughts, ensuring a clear and logical flow of ideas. Here are some transition words specifically suited for concluding your essay:
Technique 🎯 | Examples 📝 |
---|---|
Summarizing & Restating 📋 | |
Leaving the Reader with a Lasting Impression 🎨 | |
Looking to the Future 🔮 | |
Leaving the Reader with a Question ❓ | |
Adding Emphasis 💡 |
Remember, the best transition word will depend on the specific type of conclusion you're aiming for.
Every essay or dissertation writer knows that the toughest part of working on a conclusion can be striking the right balance. You want to effectively summarize your main points without redundancy, leaving a lasting impression that feels fresh and impactful, all within a concise and focused section. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you write a stunning essay conclusion:
Briefly remind your reader of your essay's central claim. This doesn't have to be a word-for-word repetition but a concise restatement that refreshes their memory.
In a few sentences, revisit the main arguments you used to support your thesis. When writing a conclusion, don't get bogged down in details, but offer a high-level overview that reinforces your essay's focus.
This is where your knowledge of how to write a good conclusion can shine! Consider a thought-provoking question, a call to action, or a connection to a broader truth—something that lingers in the reader's mind and resonates beyond the final sentence.
The conclusion paragraph shouldn't introduce entirely new ideas. Stick to wrapping up your existing arguments and leaving a final thought.
Transition smoothly from the main body of your essay to the conclusion. Use transition words like "in conclusion," "finally," or "as a result," and ensure your closing sentences feel natural and well-connected to the rest of your work.
Note that you can simply buy essay at any time and focus on other more important assignments or just enjoy your free time.
Here's an outline to help you better understand how to write a conclusion paragraph:
Step 🚶 | Description 📝 |
---|---|
1. Revisit Your Thesis (1-2 sentences) 🎯 | |
2. Summarize Key Points (1-2 sentences) 🔑 | |
3. Lasting Impression (2-3 sentences) 💡 | This is where you leave your reader with a final thought. Choose one or a combination of these options: Urge readers to take a specific action related to your topic. Spark curiosity with a lingering question that encourages further exploration. Connect your arguments to a broader truth or principle. Discuss the potential long-term consequences of your topic. Evoke a strong feeling (sadness, anger, hope) for a lasting impact. Conclude with a relevant quote that reinforces your key points or offers a new perspective. |
4. Final Touch (Optional - 1 sentence) 🎀 | This is not essential but can be a powerful way to end your essay. Consider a: that summarizes your main point in a memorable way. (simile, metaphor) that leaves a lasting impression. that invites the reader to ponder the topic further. |
Read more: Persuasive essay outline .
According to professional term paper writers , a strong conclusion is essential for leaving a lasting impression on your reader. Here's a list of action items you should and shouldn’t do when writing an essay conclusion:
Dos ✅ | Don'ts ❌ |
---|---|
Restate your thesis in a new way. 🔄 Remind the reader of your central claim, but rephrase it to avoid redundancy. | Simply repeat your thesis word-for-word. This lacks originality and doesn't offer a fresh perspective. |
Summarize your key points concisely. 📝 Briefly revisit the main arguments used to support your thesis. | Rehash every detail from your essay. 🔍 Focus on a high-level overview to reinforce your essay's main points. |
Leave a lasting impression. 💡 Spark curiosity with a question, propose a call to action, or connect your arguments to a broader truth. | End with a bland statement. 😐 Avoid generic closings like "In conclusion..." or "This is important because...". |
Ensure a smooth transition. 🌉 Use transition words like "finally," "as a result," or "in essence" to connect your conclusion to the main body. | Introduce entirely new information. ⚠️ The conclusion should wrap up existing arguments, not introduce new ideas. |
Proofread for clarity and flow. 🔍 Ensure your conclusion feels natural and well-connected to the rest of your work. | Leave grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. 🚫 Edit and revise for a polished final sentence. |
A strong conclusion isn't just an afterthought – it's the capstone of your essay. Here are five examples of conclusion paragraphs for essays showcasing different techniques to craft a powerful closing to make your essay stand out.
In conclusion, the environmental impact of our waste is undeniable. We all have a responsibility to adopt sustainable practices. We can collectively make a significant difference by incorporating simple changes like recycling into our daily routines. Join the movement – choose to reuse, reduce, and recycle.
As artificial intelligence rapidly evolves, it's crucial to consider its impact on humanity. While AI holds immense potential for progress, will it remain a tool for good, or will it eventually surpass human control? This question demands our collective attention, as the decisions we make today will shape the future of AI and its impact on our world.
The study of history offers valuable lessons that transcend time. The events of the [insert historical event] remind us that even small acts of defiance can have a ripple effect, inspiring change and ultimately leading to a brighter future. Every voice has the power to make a difference, and courage can be contagious.
Social media's explosive growth has transformed how we connect and consume information. While these platforms offer undeniable benefits, their long-term effects on social interaction, mental health, and political discourse require careful consideration. As social media continues to evolve, we must remain vigilant and ensure it remains a tool for positive connection and not a source of division.
Imagine a world where our understanding of the universe is limited to Earth. We miss out on the potential for groundbreaking discoveries in physics, medicine, and our place in the cosmos. By continuing to venture beyond our planet, we push the boundaries of human knowledge and inspire future generations to reach for the stars.
Recommended for reading: Nursing essay examples .
Not all conclusions are created equal. A weak ending can leave your reader feeling stranded, unsure of where your essay has taken them. Conversely, writing a conclusion that is strong acts as a landing pad, summarizing your key points and leaving a lasting impression.
⚠️ Weak Conclusion | ❓ What's Wrong with It? | ✅ Good Conclusion |
---|---|---|
In conclusion, exercise is good for you. It helps you stay healthy and fit. | By incorporating regular exercise into our routines, we boost our physical health and energy levels and enhance our mental well-being and resilience. (Rephrased thesis & highlights benefits.) | |
This event was very significant and had a big impact on history. | The [name of historical event] marked a turning point in [explain the historical period]. Its impact resonates today, influencing [mention specific consequences or ongoing effects]. (Connects to specifics & broader significance.) | |
Throughout this essay, we've discussed the good and bad sides of social media. | While social media offers undeniable benefits like connection and information sharing, its impact on mental health, privacy, and political discourse necessitates responsible use and ongoing discussions about its role in society. (Connects arguments to broader issues & future implications.) |
Nailed that essay? Don't blow it with a lame ending! A good conclusion is like the mic drop at the end of a rap song. It reminds the reader of your main points but in a cool new way. Throw in a thought-provoking question, a call to action, or a connection to something bigger, and you'll leave them thinking long after they turn the page.
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How to write a good conclusion, how to write a conclusion for a college essay.
Daniel Parker
is a seasoned educational writer focusing on scholarship guidance, research papers, and various forms of academic essays including reflective and narrative essays. His expertise also extends to detailed case studies. A scholar with a background in English Literature and Education, Daniel’s work on EssayPro blog aims to support students in achieving academic excellence and securing scholarships. His hobbies include reading classic literature and participating in academic forums.
is an expert in nursing and healthcare, with a strong background in history, law, and literature. Holding advanced degrees in nursing and public health, his analytical approach and comprehensive knowledge help students navigate complex topics. On EssayPro blog, Adam provides insightful articles on everything from historical analysis to the intricacies of healthcare policies. In his downtime, he enjoys historical documentaries and volunteering at local clinics.
Read a text summary on how to write introductions and conclusions.
Introductions and conclusions can be tricky to write. They do not contain the main substance of your assignment, but they do play a key role in helping the reader navigate your writing. The usual advice is
However, this approach can feel repetitive and is not very rewarding to write or read.
A more engaging approach is to think about the perspective of the reader and what they need to know in order to make sense of your writing. In academic writing, it is the writer’s job to make their meaning clear (unlike in literature and fiction, where it is the reader’s job to interpret the meaning) so that the reader can concentrate on deciding what they think of your work and marking it. Introductions and conclusions play an important role in explaining your aims and approach, so to help you write them well, you could think about what questions the reader has for you as they pick up your work for the first time, and when they have finished reading it.
The introductions are the first part of your assignment that the reader encounters, so it needs to make a good impression and set the scene for what follows. Your introduction is about 10% of the total word count. It can be difficult to think what that first opening sentence should be, or what an introduction should include.
From your reader’s perspective, they have three questions when they first pick up your assignment.
You could approach this question in a number of ways:
The obvious answer to this question is "because you told me to write this assignment”! A more interesting response, though, is to show that you've really understood why your lecturer has set that question and why it’s worth asking. None of the questions you are set at University will be simple or straightforward, but will be complex and problematic, and many have no single clear answer or approach. In responding thoughtfully to the question “why are you doing this”, you are reflecting on why it is significant, complex and worth doing, that you've understood the complexity of the assignment you’ve been set and recognise the lecturer’s aims in setting it.
Every student who answers a particular assignment will produce a different answer, with a different structure, making different points and drawing on different information. Your reader wants to know what your own particular approach to the assignment will be.
Your introduction may not include all these elements, or include them in the same balance or in this order, but if you address the reader’s three questions, your introduction will fulfil its purpose. Make sure you’re not jumping into your argument too early. Your introduction should introduce your argument but not actually do the work of making it yet; that is the job of the main body of the assignment.
Conclusions can feel a bit repetitive, as you need to revisit the points you’ve already made, but not include any new material. Again, the conclusion is usually about 10% of your total word count. The challenge is to make them engaging to read for your marker, but also interesting for you to write, so they feel purposeful. You cannot include any new material as conclusions should close a discussion down, not open up new avenues or leave points unresolved. If a point is important, it should be dealt with in the main body rather than as an afterthought.
As they read, your marker is focussing on each paragraph in detail, identifying the point you’re making, analysing and evaluating the evidence you’re using, and the way you explain, interpret and argue, to see if it makes sense. They’re also thinking about the quality of your work and what mark they’re going to give it, looking to see that you’ve met the marking criteria. University assignments are long enough that the reader will find it hard to give each point this kind of detailed scrutiny and keep the whole assignment in their mind at the same time. The job of the conclusion is to help them move from that close-up reading and zoom out to give them a sense of the whole.
Again, a good approach is to think of the questions that your reader has when they reach the end of your assignment.
Your conclusion is the overall answer to the original assignment question you were set. See if you can summarise your overall answer in one sentence. This might be the first line of your conclusion. Make sure that your concluding answer does match the question you were set in the assessment.
Having told the reader where they've got to, you will need to remind them of how you got there. To strengthen their confidence in your overall answer, you can remind them of the points you made and how together they build your conclusion.
Although you cannot include new information in your conclusion, you can show your thinking in a new light. One question your reader may have is “where does that leave me’? or “so what?”. You could therefore briefly discuss the significance of your conclusion. Now that you’ve demonstrated your answer to the question, how does that add to our overall understanding of this topic? What do we know, what can we do now, that we couldn’t before? If we hadn’t explored this topic, where would we be? Why is this conclusion important? This might resolve the issues you raised in the introduction when you answered the question ‘why am I doing this?’
A possible follow-on to this question is to examine what work might come next, if you didn’t have time constraints or word limits. This is particularly relevant in second and third year and masters level assignments, especially dissertations. This is a good way to show awareness of how your own thinking fits in the wider context of scholarship and research and how it might be developed. It might be a way to touch on aspects you had to cut out, or areas you couldn’t cover.
You don’t have to write your assignment in order. If you find that the introduction is hard to start, then you could write it at the end of the process, which will ensure that it matches the assignment you’ve actually written. However, it might be a useful approach to at least begin by thinking about the introduction questions above, as it will help you in the planning process. Likewise, you could start with writing the conclusion if you have done extensive thinking and planning, as formulating your end goal might help to keep you on track (although be open to your overall answer changing a little in the process). Again, thinking about the conclusion questions above at the start of the process is a useful planning tool to clarify your thinking, even if you don’t write it until the end.
Writing introductions and conclusions.
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Need editing and proofreading services, how to write a conclusion for an essay (examples included).
Condensing a 1,000-plus-word essay into a neat little bundle may seem like a Herculean task. You must summarize all your findings and justify their importance within a single paragraph.
But, when you discover the formula for writing a conclusion paragraph, things get much simpler!
But, how to write a conclusion paragraph for an essay, and more importantly, how to make it impactful enough? Through this article, we will walk you through the process of constructing a powerful conclusion that leaves a lingering impression on readers’ minds. We will also acquaint you with essay conclusion examples for different types of essays.
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Let’s start from the beginning: How can you write a conclusion for an essay?
In order to write an effective conclusion, you must first understand what is a conclusion in an essay. It is not just the summary of the main points of your essay. A well-written conclusion effectively ties together the main ideas of your essay and also pays heed to their broader implications. The objectives of your concluding paragraph are as follows:
A good essay conclusion begins with a modified thesis statement that is altered on the basis of the information stated throughout the essay. It then ties together all the main points of the essay and ends with a clincher that highlights the broader implications of your thesis statement.
Now that we’ve understood the basics of how to conclude an essay, let’s understand the key aspects of a good conclusion paragraph.
If you want to understand how to start a conclusion, you must realize that involves more than just restating the thesis statement word for word. Your thesis statement needs to be updated and expanded upon as per the information provided in your essay.
There are many ways to start a conclusion. One such method could be to start with the revised version of your thesis statement that hints to the significance of your argument. After this, your conclusion paragraph can organically move on to your arguments in the essay.
Let’s take a look at an effective way of writing a conclusion for an essay:
If the following claim is your thesis statement:
Virtual reality (VR) is undeniably altering the perception of reality by revolutionizing various industries, reshaping human experiences, and challenging traditional notions of what is real.
The restated thesis statement will be as follows:
Our analysis has substantiated the claim that virtual reality (VR) is significantly transforming the way we perceive reality. It has revolutionized industries, reshaped human experiences, and challenged traditional notions of reality.
Tying together all the main points of your essay does not mean simply summarizing them in an arbitrary manner. The key is to link each of your main essay points in a coherent structure. One point should follow the other in a logical format.
The goal is to establish how each of these points connects to the message of your essay as a whole. You can also take the help of powerful quotes or impactful reviews to shed a unique light on your essay.
Let’s take a look at an example:
VR presents a new paradigm where the distinction between the real and the virtual becomes increasingly blurred. As users dive into immersive virtual worlds, they are confronted with questions about the nature of reality, perception, and the boundaries of human consciousness.
Most of us are confused about how to end an essay with a bang. The answer is quite simple! The final line of your essay should be impactful enough to create a lasting impression on the reader. More importantly, it should also highlight the significance of your essay topic. This could mean the broader implications of your topic, either in your field of study or in general.
Optionally, you could also try to end your essay on an optimistic note that motivates or encourages the reader. If your essay is about eradicating a problem in society, highlight the positive effects achieved by the eradication of that problem.
Here’s an example of how to end an essay:
In a world where virtual boundaries dissolve, VR is the catalyst that reshapes our perception of reality, forever altering the landscape of the human experience.
Here’s a combined version of all three aspects:
Our analysis has substantiated the claim that Virtual Reality (VR) is significantly transforming how we perceive reality. It has revolutionized industries, reshaped human experiences, and challenged traditional notions of reality. It presents a new paradigm where the distinction between the real and the virtual becomes increasingly blurred. As users dive into immersive virtual worlds, they are confronted with questions about the nature of reality, perception, and the boundaries of human consciousness. In a world where virtual boundaries dissolve, it is the catalyst that reshapes our perception of reality, forever altering the landscape of the human experience.
Now that we’ve understood the structure of a concluding paragraph, let’s look at what to avoid while writing a conclusion.
When learning how to write a conclusion for an essay, you must also know what to avoid. You want to strengthen your argument with the help of a compelling conclusion paragraph, and not undermine it by confusing the reader.
Let’s take a look at a few strategies to avoid in your essay conclusion:
The conclusion should not introduce new information but rather strengthen the arguments that are already made. If you come across any unique piece of information regarding your essay topic, accommodate it into your body paragraphs rather than stuffing it into your conclusion.
Including new, contradictory information in the concluding paragraph not only confuses the reader but also weakens your argument. You may include a powerful quote that strengthens the message of your essay, or an example that sheds light on the importance of your argument. However, this does not include introducing a completely new argument or making a unique point.
Your conclusion should hint towards your essay coming to an end, instead of blatantly stating the obvious. Blatant concluding statements undermine the quality of your essay, making it clumsy and amateurish. They also significantly diminish the quality of your arguments.
It is a good idea to avoid the following statements while concluding your essay:
While using these statements may not be incorrect per se, hinting towards a conclusion creates a better impression on the reader rather than blatantly stating it.
Here are more effective statements you could use:
Although there might be several points of view regarding your essay topic, it is crucial that you stick to your own. You may have stated and refuted other points of view in your body paragraphs.
However, your conclusion is simply meant to strengthen your main argument. Mentioning other points of view in your essay conclusion, not only weakens your argument but also creates a poor impression of your essay.
Here are a few phrases you should avoid in your essay conclusion:
Different types of essays make use of different forms of conclusions. The critical question of “how to start a conclusion paragraph” has many different answers. To help you further, we’ve provided a few good conclusions for essays that are based on the four main essay types.
The following essay conclusion example elaborates on the narrator’s unique experience with homeschooling.
My experience with homeschooling has been a journey that has shaped me in profound ways. Through the challenges and triumphs, I have come to appreciate the unique advantages and personal growth that homeschooling can offer. As I reflect on my journey, I am reminded of the transformative power of this alternative education approach. It has empowered me to take ownership of my education, nurture my passions, and develop skills that extend far beyond the confines of academic achievement. Whether in traditional classrooms or homeschooling environments, it is through embracing and nurturing the unique potential within each of us that we can truly thrive and make a lasting impact on the world.
The following essay conclusion example elaborates on the narrator’s bond with their cat.
The enchanting presence that my cat has cannot be ignored, captivating my heart with her grace, charm, and unconditional love. Through the moments of playfulness, companionship, and affection, she has become an irreplaceable member of my family. As I continue to cherish the memories and lessons learned from her, I am reminded of the extraordinary power of the human-animal bond. In their company, we find solace, companionship, and a love that transcends words. In a world that can be challenging and tumultuous, never underestimate the profound impact that animals can have on our lives. In their presence, not only do we find love but also a profound sense of connection.
Here’s an essay conclusion example that elaborates on the marginalization of, and acute intolerance towards, LGBTQ+ individuals.
The journey toward equality for LGBTQ+ individuals is an ongoing battle that demands our unwavering commitment to justice and inclusion. It is evident that while progress has been made, the journey toward equality for these individuals is far from complete. It demands our continued advocacy, activism, and support for legislative change, societal acceptance, and the creation of inclusive environments. The struggle for LGBTQ+ equality is a fight for the very essence of human dignity and the recognition of our shared humanity. It is a battle that requires our collective efforts, determination, and an unyielding belief in the fundamental principles of equality and justice.
This example of an essay conclusion revolves around a psychological phenomenon named the bandwagon effect and examines its potential ill effects on society:
The bandwagon effect in psychology is a fascinating phenomenon that sheds light on the powerful influence of social conformity on individual behavior and decision-making processes. This effect serves as a reminder of the inherently social nature of human beings and the power of social influence in shaping our thoughts, attitudes, and actions. It underscores the importance of critical thinking, individual autonomy, and the ability to resist the pressure of conformity. By understanding its mechanisms and implications, we can guard against its potential pitfalls and actively foster independent thought and decision-making, also contributing to a more enlightened and progressive society.
Now that you’ve taken a closer look at different conclusions for essays, it’s time to put this knowledge to good use. If you need to take your essay up a notch and score high, professional essay editing services are your best bet.
Happy writing!
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If you grow up to be a professional writer, everything you write will first go through an editor before being published. This is because the process of writing is really a process of re-writing —of rethinking and reexamining your work, usually with the help of someone else. So what does this mean for your student writing? And in particular, what does it mean for very important, but nonprofessional writing like your college essay? Should you ask your parents to look at your essay? Pay for an essay service?
If you are wondering what kind of help you can, and should, get with your personal statement, you've come to the right place! In this article, I'll talk about what kind of writing help is useful, ethical, and even expected for your college admission essay . I'll also point out who would make a good editor, what the differences between editing and proofreading are, what to expect from a good editor, and how to spot and stay away from a bad one.
What Kind of Help for Your Essay Can You Get?
What should an editor do for you, what kind of editing should you avoid, proofreading, what's good proofreading, what kind of proofreading should you avoid.
What Do Colleges Think Of You Getting Help With Your Essay?
Advice for editors.
Should You Pay Money For Essay Editing?
What's next, what kind of help with your essay can you get.
Rather than talking in general terms about "help," let's first clarify the two different ways that someone else can improve your writing . There is editing, which is the more intensive kind of assistance that you can use throughout the whole process. And then there's proofreading, which is the last step of really polishing your final product.
Let me go into some more detail about editing and proofreading, and then explain how good editors and proofreaders can help you."
Editing is helping the author (in this case, you) go from a rough draft to a finished work . Editing is the process of asking questions about what you're saying, how you're saying it, and how you're organizing your ideas. But not all editing is good editing . In fact, it's very easy for an editor to cross the line from supportive to overbearing and over-involved.
Ability to clarify assignments. A good editor is usually a good writer, and certainly has to be a good reader. For example, in this case, a good editor should make sure you understand the actual essay prompt you're supposed to be answering.
Open-endedness. Good editing is all about asking questions about your ideas and work, but without providing answers. It's about letting you stick to your story and message, and doesn't alter your point of view.
Think of an editor as a great travel guide. It can show you the many different places your trip could take you. It should explain any parts of the trip that could derail your trip or confuse the traveler. But it never dictates your path, never forces you to go somewhere you don't want to go, and never ignores your interests so that the trip no longer seems like it's your own. So what should good editors do?
Sometimes it's easier to bounce thoughts off of someone else. This doesn't mean that your editor gets to come up with ideas, but they can certainly respond to the various topic options you've come up with. This way, you're less likely to write about the most boring of your ideas, or to write about something that isn't actually important to you.
If you're wondering how to come up with options for your editor to consider, check out our guide to brainstorming topics for your college essay .
Here, your editor can't upset the delicate balance of not intervening too much or too little. It's tricky, but a great way to think about it is to remember: editing is about asking questions, not giving answers .
Revision questions should point out:
But pointing to potential problems is not the same as actually rewriting—editors let authors fix the problems themselves.
Bad editing is usually very heavy-handed editing. Instead of helping you find your best voice and ideas, a bad editor changes your writing into their own vision.
You may be dealing with a bad editor if they:
Colleges can tell the difference between a 17-year-old's writing and a 50-year-old's writing. Not only that, they have access to your SAT or ACT Writing section, so they can compare your essay to something else you wrote. Writing that's a little more polished is great and expected. But a totally different voice and style will raise questions.
Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your college essay editor is doing the right thing. Here are some guidelines for staying on the ethical side of the line.
Proofreading (also called copy-editing) is checking for errors in the last draft of a written work. It happens at the end of the process and is meant as the final polishing touch. Proofreading is meticulous and detail-oriented, focusing on small corrections. It sands off all the surface rough spots that could alienate the reader.
Because proofreading is usually concerned with making fixes on the word or sentence level, this is the only process where someone else can actually add to or take away things from your essay . This is because what they are adding or taking away tends to be one or two misplaced letters.
Laser focus. Proofreading is all about the tiny details, so the ability to really concentrate on finding small slip-ups is a must.
Excellent grammar and spelling skills. Proofreaders need to dot every "i" and cross every "t." Good proofreaders should correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. They should put foreign words in italics and surround quotations with quotation marks. They should check that you used the correct college's name, and that you adhered to any formatting requirements (name and date at the top of the page, uniform font and size, uniform spacing).
Limited interference. A proofreader needs to make sure that you followed any word limits. But if cuts need to be made to shorten the essay, that's your job and not the proofreader's.
A bad proofreader either tries to turn into an editor, or just lacks the skills and knowledge necessary to do the job.
Some signs that you're working with a bad proofreader are:
Admissions officers agree: light editing and proofreading are good—even required ! But they also want to make sure you're the one doing the work on your essay. They want essays with stories, voice, and themes that come from you. They want to see work that reflects your actual writing ability, and that focuses on what you find important.
Get feedback. Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College )
Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head. This exercise reveals flaws in the essay's flow, highlights grammatical errors and helps you ensure that you are communicating the exact message you intended. ( Dickinson College )
Share your essays with at least one or two people who know you well—such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend—and ask for feedback. Remember that you ultimately have control over your essays, and your essays should retain your own voice, but others may be able to catch mistakes that you missed and help suggest areas to cut if you are over the word limit. ( Yale University )
Proofread and then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although we want substance, we also want to be able to see that you can write a paper for our professors and avoid careless mistakes that would drive them crazy. ( Oberlin College )
Limit the number of people who review your essay. Too much input usually means your voice is lost in the writing style. ( Carleton College )
Ask for input (but not too much). Your parents, friends, guidance counselors, coaches, and teachers are great people to bounce ideas off of for your essay. They know how unique and spectacular you are, and they can help you decide how to articulate it. Keep in mind, however, that a 45-year-old lawyer writes quite differently from an 18-year-old student, so if your dad ends up writing the bulk of your essay, we're probably going to notice. ( Vanderbilt University )
Now let's talk about some potential people to approach for your college essay editing and proofreading needs. It's best to start close to home and slowly expand outward. Not only are your family and friends more invested in your success than strangers, but they also have a better handle on your interests and personality. This knowledge is key for judging whether your essay is expressing your true self.
Your family may be full of potentially excellent editors! Parents are deeply committed to your well-being, and family members know you and your life well enough to offer details or incidents that can be included in your essay. On the other hand, the rewriting process necessarily involves criticism, which is sometimes hard to hear from someone very close to you.
A parent or close family member is a great choice for an editor if you can answer "yes" to the following questions. Is your parent or close relative a good writer or reader? Do you have a relationship where editing your essay won't create conflict? Are you able to constructively listen to criticism and suggestion from the parent?
One suggestion for defusing face-to-face discussions is to try working on the essay over email. Send your parent a draft, have them write you back some comments, and then you can pick which of their suggestions you want to use and which to discard.
A humanities teacher that you have a good relationship with is a great choice. I am purposefully saying humanities, and not just English, because teachers of Philosophy, History, Anthropology, and any other classes where you do a lot of writing, are all used to reviewing student work.
Moreover, any teacher or tutor that has been working with you for some time, knows you very well and can vet the essay to make sure it "sounds like you."
If your teacher or tutor has some experience with what college essays are supposed to be like, ask them to be your editor. If not, then ask whether they have time to proofread your final draft.
The best thing about asking your counselor to edit your work is that this is their job. This means that they have a very good sense of what colleges are looking for in an application essay.
At the same time, school counselors tend to have relationships with admissions officers in many colleges, which again gives them insight into what works and which college is focused on what aspect of the application.
Unfortunately, in many schools the guidance counselor tends to be way overextended. If your ratio is 300 students to 1 college counselor, you're unlikely to get that person's undivided attention and focus. It is still useful to ask them for general advice about your potential topics, but don't expect them to be able to stay with your essay from first draft to final version.
Although they most likely don't have much experience with what colleges are hoping to see, your peers are excellent sources for checking that your essay is you .
Friends and siblings are perfect for the read-aloud edit. Read your essay to them so they can listen for words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or phrases that just don't sound like you.
You can even trade essays and give helpful advice on each other's work.
If your editor hasn't worked with college admissions essays very much, no worries! Any astute and attentive reader can still greatly help with your process. But, as in all things, beginners do better with some preparation.
First, your editor should read our advice about how to write a college essay introduction , how to spot and fix a bad college essay , and get a sense of what other students have written by going through some admissions essays that worked .
Then, as they read your essay, they can work through the following series of questions that will help them to guide you.
One alternative to asking someone you know to help you with your college essay is the paid editor route. There are two different ways to pay for essay help: a private essay coach or a less personal editing service , like the many proliferating on the internet.
My advice is to think of these options as a last resort rather than your go-to first choice. I'll first go through the reasons why. Then, if you do decide to go with a paid editor, I'll help you decide between a coach and a service.
In general, I think hiring someone to work on your essay makes a lot of sense if none of the people I discussed above are a possibility for you.
If you can't ask your parents. For example, if your parents aren't good writers, or if English isn't their first language. Or if you think getting your parents to help is going create unnecessary extra conflict in your relationship with them (applying to college is stressful as it is!)
If you can't ask your teacher or tutor. Maybe you don't have a trusted teacher or tutor that has time to look over your essay with focus. Or, for instance, your favorite humanities teacher has very limited experience with college essays and so won't know what admissions officers want to see.
If you can't ask your guidance counselor. This could be because your guidance counselor is way overwhelmed with other students.
If you can't share your essay with those who know you. It might be that your essay is on a very personal topic that you're unwilling to share with parents, teachers, or peers. Just make sure it doesn't fall into one of the bad-idea topics in our article on bad college essays .
If the cost isn't a consideration. Many of these services are quite expensive, and private coaches even more so. If you have finite resources, I'd say that hiring an SAT or ACT tutor (whether it's PrepScholar or someone else) is better way to spend your money . This is because there's no guarantee that a slightly better essay will sufficiently elevate the rest of your application, but a significantly higher SAT score will definitely raise your applicant profile much more.
On the plus side, essay coaches have read dozens or even hundreds of college essays, so they have experience with the format. Also, because you'll be working closely with a specific person, it's more personal than sending your essay to a service, which will know even less about you.
But, on the minus side, you'll still be bouncing ideas off of someone who doesn't know that much about you . In general, if you can adequately get the help from someone you know, there is no advantage to paying someone to help you.
If you do decide to hire a coach, ask your school counselor, or older students that have used the service for recommendations. If you can't afford the coach's fees, ask whether they can work on a sliding scale —many do. And finally, beware those who guarantee admission to your school of choice—essay coaches don't have any special magic that can back up those promises.
On the plus side, essay editing services provide a similar product to essay coaches, and they cost significantly less . If you have some assurance that you'll be working with a good editor, the lack of face-to-face interaction won't prevent great results.
On the minus side, however, it can be difficult to gauge the quality of the service before working with them . If they are churning through many application essays without getting to know the students they are helping, you could end up with an over-edited essay that sounds just like everyone else's. In the worst case scenario, an unscrupulous service could send you back a plagiarized essay.
Getting recommendations from friends or a school counselor for reputable services is key to avoiding heavy-handed editing that writes essays for you or does too much to change your essay. Including a badly-edited essay like this in your application could cause problems if there are inconsistencies. For example, in interviews it might be clear you didn't write the essay, or the skill of the essay might not be reflected in your schoolwork and test scores.
Let me elaborate. There are super sketchy places on the internet where you can simply buy a pre-written essay. Don't do this!
For one thing, you'll be lying on an official, signed document. All college applications make you sign a statement saying something like this:
I certify that all information submitted in the admission process—including the application, the personal essay, any supplements, and any other supporting materials—is my own work, factually true, and honestly presented... I understand that I may be subject to a range of possible disciplinary actions, including admission revocation, expulsion, or revocation of course credit, grades, and degree, should the information I have certified be false. (From the Common Application )
For another thing, if your academic record doesn't match the essay's quality, the admissions officer will start thinking your whole application is riddled with lies.
Admission officers have full access to your writing portion of the SAT or ACT so that they can compare work that was done in proctored conditions with that done at home. They can tell if these were written by different people. Not only that, but there are now a number of search engines that faculty and admission officers can use to see if an essay contains strings of words that have appeared in other essays—you have no guarantee that the essay you bought wasn't also bought by 50 other students.
Ready to start working on your essay? Check out our explanation of the point of the personal essay and the role it plays on your applications and then explore our step-by-step guide to writing a great college essay .
Using the Common Application for your college applications? We have an excellent guide to the Common App essay prompts and useful advice on how to pick the Common App prompt that's right for you . Wondering how other people tackled these prompts? Then work through our roundup of over 130 real college essay examples published by colleges .
Stressed about whether to take the SAT again before submitting your application? Let us help you decide how many times to take this test . If you choose to go for it, we have the ultimate guide to studying for the SAT to give you the ins and outs of the best ways to study.
Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.
Have any questions about this article or other topics? Ask below and we'll reply!
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Search cornell admissions, cornell first-year writing supplement prompts.
In the online Common Application Writing Supplement, please respond to both the Cornell University essay question and the essay prompt that corresponds to the undergraduate college or school to which you are applying.
In the aftermath of the U.S. Civil War, Ezra Cornell wrote, "I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study." For over 150 years, Cornell University has remained deeply committed to Ezra’s vision. Explain how your life experiences will help inform your contributions to a learning community devoted to “... any person … any study.” We encourage you to think broadly about your life experiences, including how local (e.g., family, school, neighborhood) or global communities you’ve been part of have helped shape your perspective. (350 word limit)
College of agriculture and life sciences.
Required: Why are you drawn to studying the major you have selected? Please discuss how your interests and related experiences have influenced your choice. How will an education from the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences (CALS) at Cornell University specifically serve to support your learning, growth, and the pursuit of your goals? (650-word limit)
Instructions: The optional short-answer questions invite you to share additional information about your background, interests, and experiences as they relate to aspects of the Cornell CALS mission. The content of any responses submitted will be included in the holistic review of your application (which is also the case for any optional additional information submitted as part of your Common Application or uploaded through your Cornell Application Portal once you've applied).
Optional: At Cornell CALS, we aim to leave the world better than we found it, so we seek out those who are not simply driven to master their discipline, but who are also passionate about doing so to serve the public good. Please elaborate on an experience where you had a meaningful impact on people, a community, and/or an environment of importance to you. (200-word limit)
Optional: Cornell CALS is dedicated to purpose-driven study of the agricultural, life, environmental, and social sciences and welcomes students with interests that span a wide variety of disciplines. Given our agricultural history and commitment to educating the next generation of agriculturalists, please share if you have a background or interest in agriculture, regardless of your intended major. An "agricultural entity" for the purpose of this question is defined as cultivating soil, growing crops, and raising livestock (e.g., farm, ranch, greenhouse, vineyard, etc.).
Select all that apply:
Please feel free to share additional details (optional). (100-word limit)
How do your interests directly connect with your intended major at the College of Architecture, Art, and Planning (AAP)? Why architecture (B.Arch), art (BFA), or urban and regional studies (URS)? B. Arch applicants, please provide an example of how a creative project or passion sparks your motivation to pursue a 5-year professional degree program. BFA applicants may want to to consider how they could integrate a range of interests and available resources at Cornell into a coherent art practice. URS students may want to emphasize their enthusiasm and depth of interest in the study of urban and regional issues. (650 word limit)
At the College of Arts and Sciences, curiosity will be your guide. Discuss how your passion for learning is shaping your academic journey, and what areas of study or majors excite you and why. Your response should convey how your interests align with the College, and how you would take advantage of the opportunities and curriculum in Arts and Sciences. (650 word limit)
Why are you drawn to studying public policy? Drawing on your experiences, tell us about why you are interested in your chosen major and how attending the Brooks School will help you achieve your life goals. (650 word limit)
What kind of a business student are you? Using your personal, academic, or volunteer/work experiences, describe the topics or issues that you care about and why they are important to you. Your response should convey how your interests align with the school to which you are applying within the Cornell SC Johnson College of Business (Charles H. Dyson School of Applied Economics and Management or the Peter and Stephanie Nolan School of Hotel Administration). (650 word limit)
Instructions: All applicants are required to write two supplemental essays. Each has a limit of 250 words. Essay 1 is required of all applicants. For Essay 2, you must choose between Question A and Question B.
How do your interests directly connect with Cornell Engineering? If you have an intended major, what draws you to that department at Cornell Engineering? If you are unsure what specific engineering field you would like to study, describe how your general interest in engineering most directly connects with Cornell Engineering. It may be helpful to concentrate on one or two things that you are most excited about.
Question A: Describe an engineering problem that impacts your local community. This could be your school, neighborhood, town, region, or a group you identify with. Describe one to three things you might do as an engineer to solve the problem.
Question B: Diversity in all forms is intrinsic to excellence in engineering. Engineering the best solutions to complex problems is often achieved by drawing from the diverse ingenuity of people from different backgrounds, lived experiences, and identities. How do you see yourself contributing to the diversity and/or the inclusion of the Cornell Engineering community? What is the unique voice you would bring to the Cornell Engineering community?
How have your related experiences influenced your decision to apply to the College of Human Ecology (CHE)? How will your choice of major impact your goals and plans for the future? Your response should show us that your interests and aspirations align with CHE and your choice of major. (Refer to our essay application tips before you begin.) (650 word limit)
Using your personal, academic, or volunteer/work experiences, describe the topics or issues that you care about and why they are important to you. Your response should show us that your interests align with the ILR School. (650 word limit)
Still need help? Look at the Frequently Asked Questions , or contact us .
The essays are a place to show us who you are and who you’ll be in our community.
It’s a chance to add depth to something that is important to you and tell the admissions committee more about your background or goals. Below you’ll find selected examples of essays that “worked,” as nominated by our admissions committee. In each of these essays, students were able to share stories from their everyday lives to reveal something about their character, values, and life that aligned with the culture and values at Hopkins.
Hear from the class of 2027.
These selections represent just a few examples of essays we found impressive and helpful during the past admissions cycle. We hope these essays inspire you as you prepare to compose your own personal statements. The most important thing to remember is to be original as you share your own story, thoughts, and ideas with us.
Ellie’s essay skillfully uses the topic of entropy as an extended metaphor. Through it, we see reflections about who they are and who they aspire to be.
In Pablo’s essay, the act of packing for a pilgrimage becomes a metaphor for the way humans accumulate experiences in their life’s journey and what we can learn from them. As we join Pablo through the diverse phases of their life, we gain insights into their character and values.
Julieta illustrates how the concept of Tikkun Olam, “a desire to help repair the world,” has shaped their passions and drives them to pursue experiences at Hopkins.
Kashvi’s essay encapsulates a heartfelt journey of self-discovery and the invaluable teachings of Rock, their 10-year-old dog. Through the lens of their companionship, Kashvi walked us through valuable lessons on responsibility, friendship, patience, and unconditional love.
Maddie’s essay details their intellectual journey using their love of Greek classics. They incorporate details that reveal the roots of their academic interests: storytelling, literary devices, and translation. As their essay progresses, so do Maddie’s intellectual curiosities.
Alyssa’s essay reflects on special memories through the creative lens of Spotify playlists. They use three examples to highlight their experiences with their tennis team, finding a virtual community during the pandemic, and co-founding a nonprofit to help younger students learn about STEM.
We share essays from previously admitted students—along with feedback from our admissions committee—so you can understand what made them effective and how to start crafting your own.
Our interactive workshops—on topics like the college search process and essay preparation—will help you build your strongest application when you’re ready to apply.
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Remember, the personal insight questions are just that—personal. Which means you should use our guidance for each question just as a suggestion in case you need help. The important thing is expressing who you are, what matters to you and what you want to share with UC.
1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. Things to consider: A leadership role can mean more than just a title. It can mean being a mentor to others, acting as the person in charge of a specific task, or taking the lead role in organizing an event or project. Think about what you accomplished and what you learned from the experience. What were your responsibilities?
Did you lead a team? How did your experience change your perspective on leading others? Did you help to resolve an important dispute at your school, church, in your community or an organization? And your leadership role doesn't necessarily have to be limited to school activities. For example, do you help out or take care of your family? 2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. Things to consider: What does creativity mean to you? Do you have a creative skill that is important to you? What have you been able to do with that skill? If you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution? What are the steps you took to solve the problem?
How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside the classroom? Does your creativity relate to your major or a future career? 3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? Things to consider: If there is a talent or skill that you're proud of, this is the time to share it.You don't necessarily have to be recognized or have received awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talk about it, feel free to do so). Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you?
Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent? Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in or outside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule? 4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. Things to consider: An educational opportunity can be anything that has added value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college. For example, participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, or enrollment in an academy that's geared toward an occupation or a major, or taking advanced courses that interest you; just to name a few.
If you choose to write about educational barriers you've faced, how did you overcome or strive to overcome them? What personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who you are today? 5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? This is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you've faced and what you've learned from the experience. Did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone?
If you're currently working your way through a challenge, what are you doing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life? For example, ask yourself, How has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends or with my family? 6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. Things to consider: Many students have a passion for one specific academic subject area, something that they just can't get enough of. If that applies to you, what have you done to further that interest? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had inside and outside the classroom such as volunteer work, internships, employment, summer programs, participation in student organizations and/or clubs and what you have gained from your involvement.
Has your interest in the subject influenced you in choosing a major and/or future career? Have you been able to pursue coursework at a higher level in this subject (honors, AP, IB, college or university work)? Are you inspired to pursue this subject further at UC, and how might you do that?
7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? Things to consider: Think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place like your high school, hometown or home. You can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community?
Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort? How did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both? Did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community? 8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? Things to consider: If there's anything you want us to know about you but didn't find a question or place in the application to tell us, now's your chance. What have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge or opportunity that you think will help us know you better?
From your point of view, what do you feel makes you an excellent choice for UC? Don't be afraid to brag a little.
Start early..
Give yourself plenty of time for preparation, careful composition and revisions.
Making a list of accomplishments, activities, awards or work will lessen the impact of your words. Expand on a topic by using specific, concrete examples to support the points you want to make.
Talk about yourself so that we can get to know your personality, talents, accomplishments and potential for success on a UC campus. Use “I” and “my” statements in your responses.
Although you will not be evaluated on grammar, spelling or sentence structure, you should proofread your work and make sure your writing is clear. Grammatical and spelling errors can be distracting to the reader and get in the way of what you’re trying to communicate.
Your answers should reflect your own ideas and be written by you alone, but others — family, teachers and friends can offer valuable suggestions. Ask advice of whomever you like, but do not plagiarize from sources in print or online and do not use anyone's words, published or unpublished, but your own.
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University of Notre Dame
Fresh Writing
A publication of the University Writing Program
By David Minogue
Published: June 06, 2024
1st place Raclin Murphy Museum of Art Award
Golden beams of LA sunlight bounced off the crystal water and up onto the steel paneled roof and the thin glass doors. Bruce chased his little brother Mark across the small bridge and followed him as he dove into the pool. Shari, still in her wet bathing suit, yanked the massive sliding glass door open with all her might, then splashed into the pool in a cannonball. Mark, only five years old, giggled and scissored his chunky legs frantically to propel himself across the pool towards his older sister. Shari began laughing as Bruce swam under Mark and grabbed his toes mimicking a shark attack. Carlotta, their mother, dressed in a floral apron emerged from the still open door and called out, “Your father will be home soon, get ready for dinner.” Shari turned to her mother and began swimming to the side of the pool to climb out. The aroma of meatloaf, pasta, and carrots floated out of the open concept living area and throughout the home. The boys continued to splash around the pool chasing each other, ignoring their mother’s command. Evaporation from the sun and the children’s splashing caused the pool to lose gallons of precious water every day. Shari strolled into the house dripping wet as the carpet once again soaked up her trail. The fluffy olive shag carpet spanned across the main living area in their house always seemed somewhat damp as the three kids and often their father trekked back and forth between the pool and the kitchen. Charlotta looked up behind the counter, “Shari what do I keep telling you? Use a towel and for God’s sake stop bringing the pool inside the house!” Shari quickly spun and walked back outside. A 1967 Pontiac GTO roared and climbed up the windy road to the house. The freshly polished chrome reflected that same LA sunshine across the pavement. Palm trees swayed in the wind casting their dancing shadows along the land below. The classic muscle car slowed and turned a tight corner approaching a small and unusual looking house. The outside appeared to be constructed of entirely thin steel panels. The white tires turned, pointing the car into a narrow parking spot wedged between the house and a 1955 Ford Country Squire station wagon. The warm air greeted Buck as he stepped out of the car dressed in a narrow cut, brightly colored herringbone suit. His long day was over and he let out a sigh of relief. After fumbling with the door for a few seconds, he threw it open. “Daddy!” Screamed little Mark who had continued to ignore his mother’s calls to leave the pool. Bruce smiled and hugged his soaking wet son who only now had agreed to leave the pool. “Your fingers look like raisins, have you left the pool at all today?” Buck asked. “Mom made us get out at lunch” Bruce chimed in. Shari, who had changed out of her bathing suit for the first time that day, emerged from the bedroom to greet her father. Carlotta followed as she strolled across the patio to kiss her husband. The precious moment of the happy, youthful Stahl family reunited played out hundreds of feet above the city. After some chatter the five of them sat down to eat dinner as the sun set across the bustling city of Angels.
This scene depicts the typical family life experienced by the Stahl Family in their atypical, ultra famous home, The Stahl House. The Stahl House was more than just a house. It stood as the iconic, quintessential postmodern home that changed the paradigm of building materials, technology and the aesthetic of homes built throughout the country and world. It became idealized by dozens of magazines, newspapers, and a television program called the “LA Dream.” Buck and Carlotta Stahl met through work, while Buck worked as a purchasing agent for Hughes Aircraft and Carlotta held the position of secretary for North American Aviation. They married and raised three children as a typical middle class family chasing the American dream. Buck identified himself as a visionary and an artist. [1] He had hopped from airlines to graphic design to sign painting and even at one point professional football. The Stahls settled in the up and coming but still underdeveloped and affordable city of Los Angeles. In 1954, the newlyweds purchased an empty lot in the barren hills of West Hollywood for $13,500. [2] After six years, two mortgages, and countless negotiations the Stahls built their dream house with the help of the thirty four year old ambitious architect Pierre Koenig. Koenig had taken the project on as a challenge as the lot was said to be “not suitable for building.”Julius Schulman, the photographer, captured the truly dynamic beauty and striking figure of the project when the home debuted on the Arts and Architecture magazine cover.
The Arts and Architecture Magazine published Julius Schulman’s photo, The Stahl House on their front page in 1960 as a promotional piece. The Stahls, unable to afford to build the house independently, negotiated a deal with the magazine to fund the project. The home pictured is cantilevered over a cliff soaring above the city lights below. On the magazine cover the steel beam of the roof cuts across the page reaching into the sky like the wing of a Boeing 777. The house is lit up and almost portrays a glowing atmosphere while the city below is dark and blurry. The clarity of the house makes the photo feel so real as if the viewer can step right into the scene. If the viewer squints their eyes all they see is the glowing glass box lit up by the spheres of light dangling from the ceiling. The modern, rectangular furniture flanks the spacious room. Tall and leafy Interior plants reach into the photo offering a homey and natural aesthetic to the space while shrubbery springs up on the side of the house offering a playful yard feeling. The simple, clean, and uncluttered layout of the room appears effortless and inviting. The sleek lines and glassy walls point to the horizon and create a sharp contrast between the traditional colonial houses lurking in the valley below. The dramatic angles illustrate the perfect perspective shot and draw the viewer into the brightness of the home then slowly out to the city. The LA roads point in parallel to the roofline and concrete floor adding to the rocket ship sensation. Schulman positions the camera to create drama contrasting the light against darks and the industrial, manufactured, and robust beams of steel and concrete against the organic and simple furniture, plants, and atmosphere. The attractive young women in the photo were not the Stahls but friends of the photographer. They appear as if they are high society women or movie stars lounging in their light colored and clean cocktail dresses and heels as if they were taking a break from an elegant party to gaze over the city. The woman on the right sits upright as if she’s listening intently to the woman on the left who lounges with her head resting on her hand. Perhaps she is sharing some juicy Hollywood gossip. The viewer seems to be looking in on an intimate moment shared by two young friends. The girls helped Schulman project the romanticized dream of California and LA which brought the Stahl home and family fame. These artistic choices that depict a vibrant contrast from the land below make the house appear to be more than a house but a living space in the sky.
The photo reflects the 1960’s fairytale reputation of Los Angeles and the California dream of glamor and modern beauty. At this time Los Angeles was booming with the growing military investment in the area and Hollywood was capturing the imagination of the nation. The Stahl house symbolized the optimism and forward looking spirit of the age. It rejected traditional building techniques and styles and embraced a new fresh mid-century modern look. Ironically, the Stahls were a traditional middle class family and experienced poverty as Buck transitioned careers. This was not a home of the rich and famous. The house was only 2200 square feet and all three children bunked up in one small bedroom. This normal family had a dream and this was an era where people's dreams could become a reality. The home is an icon of American modernism and speaks to the middle class reaching for the stars. For the first time in history, anyone, especially the middle class could own a home. As America boomed with big ideas and raced to launch rocket ships into space this home shot out over the city horizon as a symbol of the great American imagination.
[1] Podcast, The Design Book. “The Stahl House: Shari Stahl Gronwald and Bruce Stahl
[2] Rocheleau, Mitchell. “Nine Things You Should Know about the Stahl House – Case
“Koenig’s Case Study House No. 22 as Home.” Los Angeles Times , Los Angeles Times, 27 June 2009, www.latimes.com/home/la-hm-stahl27-2009jun27-story.html .
Podcast, The Design Book. “The Stahl House: Shari Stahl Gronwald and Bruce Stahl.” Decorating by the Book , Decorating by the Book, 7 Feb. 2022, www.decoratingbythebook.com/home/the-stahl-house-shari-stahl-gronwald-and-bruce-stahl#:~:text=Shari%20Stahl%20Gronwald%3A%20Hi%2C%20my,and%20I%27m%20her%20brother .
Rocheleau, Mitchell. “Nine Things You Should Know about the Stahl House – Case
Study House 22.” ROST ARCHITECTS , ROST ARCHITECTS, 18 Feb. 2023, www.rostarchitects.com/articles/2020/10/6/nine-things-you-should-know-about-the-stahl-house-case-study-house-22 .
David Minogue
David Minogue, from Boston, Massachusetts, is studying Industrial Design with an emphasis on Engineering. With an extensive background in fashion and design, including work at Pilot Agency, David has also founded and co-founded several companies, such as Spade Graphic Design, Beached Boat Apparel Co., and other various small businesses. At Notre Dame, he is actively engaged in design and innovation, involved in the IDEA Center and serving as a university designer. His essay, “The Making of a Modernist Icon” delves into the Stahl House, not only as the Stahl family's residence but as an iconic, revolutionary piece of architectural art that shattered conventional norms and redefined design paradigms. It emphasizes how this quintessential mid-century modern home, perched above Los Angeles, symbolized a seismic shift in aesthetics, technology, and design, embodying the optimism and expansive imagination of the 1960’s American dream. David would like to express his gratitude to his family, especially his mother, who has provided tremendous support for his writing and his professor and friend, Fr. Stephen Koeth, C.S.C., for his guidance and encouragement. Minogue plans to continue his work in design and expand more into product design.
College essays and diversity in the post-affirmative action era, sonja starr’s latest research adds data, legal analysis to discussion about race in college admissions essays.
Editor’s Note: This story is part of an occasional series on research projects currently in the works at the Law School.
The Supreme Court’s decision in June 2023 to bar the use of affirmative action in college admissions raised many questions. One of the most significant is whether universities should consider applicants’ discussion of race in essays. The Court’s decision in Students for Fair Admissions (SFFA) v. Harvard did not require entirely race-blind admissions. Rather, the Court explicitly stated that admissions offices may weigh what students say about how race affected their lives. Yet the Court also warned that this practice may not be used to circumvent the bar on affirmative action.
Many university leaders made statements after SFFA suggesting that they take this passage seriously, and that it potentially points to a strategy for preserving diversity. But it’s not obvious how lower courts will distinguish between consideration of “race-related experience” and consideration of “race qua race.” Sonja Starr, Julius Kreeger Professor of Law & Criminology at the Law School, was intrigued by the implication of that question, calling the key passage of the Court’s opinion the “essay carveout.”
“Where is the line?” she wrote in a forthcoming article, the first of its kind to discuss this issue in depth in the post- SFFA era. “And what other potential legal pitfalls could universities encounter in evaluating essays about race?”
To inform her paper’s legal analysis, Starr conducted empirical analyses of how universities and students have included race in essays, both before and after the Court’s decision. She concluded that large numbers of applicants wrote about race, and that college essay prompts encouraged them to do so, even before SFFA .
Some thought the essay carveout made no sense. Justice Sonia Sotomayor called it “an attempt to put lipstick on a pig” in her dissent. Starr, however, disagrees. She argues that universities are on sound legal footing relying on the essay carveout, so long as they consider race-related experience in an individualized way. In her article, Starr points out reasons the essay carveout makes sense in the context of the Court’s other arguments. However, she points to the potential for future challenges—on both equal protection and First Amendment grounds—and discusses how colleges can survive them.
After SFFA , media outlets suggested that universities would add questions about race or identity in their admissions essays and that students would increasingly focus on that topic. Starr decided to investigate this speculation. She commissioned a professional survey group to recruit a nationally representative sample of recent college applicants. The firm queried 881 people about their essay content, about half of whom applied in 2022-23, before SFFA , and half of whom submitted in 2023-24.
The survey found that more than 60 percent of students in non-white groups wrote about race in at least some of their essays, as did about half of white applicants. But contrary to what the media suggested, there were no substantial changes between the pre-and post- SFFA application cycles.
Starr also reviewed essay prompts that 65 top schools have used over the last four years. She found that diversity and identity questions—as well as questions about overcoming adversity, which, for example, provide opportunities for students to discuss discrimination that they have faced—are common and have increased in frequency both before and after SFFA.
Although Starr has long written about equal protection issues, until about two years ago, she would have characterized educational admissions as a bit outside her wheelhouse. Her research has mostly focused on the criminal justice system, though race is often at the heart of it. In the past, for example, she has assessed the role of race in sentencing, the constitutionality of algorithmic risk assessment instruments in criminal justice, as well as policies to expand employment options for people with criminal records.
But a legal battle around admissions policies at Fairfax County’s Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology—the high school that Starr attended—caught her attention. Starr followed the case closely and predicted that “litigation may soon be an ever-present threat for race-conscious policymaking” in a 2024 Stanford Law Review article on that and other magnet school cases.
“I got really interested in that case partly because of the personal connection,” she said. “But I ended up writing about it as an academic matter, and that got me entrenched in this world of educational admissions questions and their related implications for other areas of equal protection law.”
Starr’s forthcoming paper argues that the essay carveout provides a way for colleges to maintain diversity and stay on the right side of the Court’s decision.
“I believe there’s quite a bit of space that’s open for colleges to pursue in this area without crossing that line,” she said. “I lay out the arguments that colleges can put forth.”
Nevertheless, Starr expects future litigation targeting the essay carveout.
“I think we could see cases filed as soon as this year when the admissions numbers come out,” she said, pointing out that conservative legal organizations, such as the Pacific Legal Foundation, have warned that they’re going to be keeping a close eye on admissions numbers and looking for ways that schools are circumventing SFFA .
Starr envisions her paper being used as a resource for schools that want to obey the law while also maintaining diversity. “The preservation of diversity is not a red flag that something unconstitutional is happening,” she said. “There are lots of perfectly permissible ways that we can expect diversity to be maintained in this post- affirmative action era.”
Starr’s article, “Admissions Essays after SFFA ,” is slated to be published in Indiana Law Journal in early 2025.
71 Journal of Legal Education 387 (2022)
16 Pages Posted: 25 Jan 2023 Last revised: 20 Oct 2023
University of Southern California; University of Southern California Gould School of Law
University of Minnesota - Twin Cities - School of Law
University of Minnesota Law School
Date Written: January 23, 2023
How well can AI models write law school exams without human assistance? To find out, we used the widely publicized AI model ChatGPT to generate answers on four real exams at the University of Minnesota Law School. We then blindly graded these exams as part of our regular grading processes for each class. Over 95 multiple choice questions and 12 essay questions, ChatGPT performed on average at the level of a C+ student, achieving a low but passing grade in all four courses. After detailing these results, we discuss their implications for legal education and lawyering. We also provide example prompts and advice on how ChatGPT can assist with legal writing.
Keywords: ChatGPT, law school, AI, natural language processing, Legal Data, NLP, Legal NLP, Legal Analytics, natural language understanding, evaluation, machine learning, artificial intelligence, artificial intelligence and law
Suggested Citation: Suggested Citation
University of southern california ( email ).
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699 Exposition Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90089 United States
229 19th Avenue South Minneapolis, MN 55455 United States 612-624-2915 (Phone)
229 19th Avenue South Minneapolis, MN 55455 United States
HOME PAGE: http://www.law.umn.edu/profiles/daniel-schwarcz
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Step 1: Return to your thesis. To begin your conclusion, signal that the essay is coming to an end by returning to your overall argument. Don't just repeat your thesis statement —instead, try to rephrase your argument in a way that shows how it has been developed since the introduction. Example: Returning to the thesis.
A change of style i.e. being more emotional or sentimental than the rest of the essay. Keep it straightforward, explanatory and clear. Overused phrases like: "in conclusion"; "in summary"; "as shown in this essay". Consign these to the rubbish bin! Here are some alternatives, there are many more: The x main points presented here ...
Finally, some advice on how not to end an essay: Don't simply summarize your essay. A brief summary of your argument may be useful, especially if your essay is long--more than ten pages or so. But shorter essays tend not to require a restatement of your main ideas. Avoid phrases like "in conclusion," "to conclude," "in summary," and "to sum up ...
Highlight the "so what". At the beginning of your paper, you explain to your readers what's at stake—why they should care about the argument you're making. In your conclusion, you can bring readers back to those stakes by reminding them why your argument is important in the first place. You can also draft a few sentences that put ...
First, repeat the thesis statement. It won't use the exact same words as in your introduction, but it will repeat the point: your overall answer to the question. Then set out your general conclusions, and a short explanation of why they are important. Finally, draw together the question, the evidence in the essay body, and the conclusion.
The conclusion to an essay is the most purely rhetorical part of the entire piece. By "rhetorical", we mean a conclusion's (and indeed the entire essay's) ability to convince or persuade the reader of certain outlooks or arguments. An essay conclusion needs to use rhetoric to emotionally connect with the reader in some way. And this is ...
The conclusion is a very important part of your essay. Although it is sometimes treated as a roundup of all of the bits that didn't fit into the paper earlier, it deserves better treatment than that! It's the last thing the reader will see, so it tends to stick in the reader's memory. It's also a great place to remind the reader exactly why ...
The conclusion pushes beyond the boundaries of the prompt and allows you to consider broader issues, make new connections, and elaborate on the significance of your findings. Your conclusion should make your readers glad they read your paper. Your conclusion gives your reader something to take away that will help them see things differently or ...
1. Return to Your Thesis. Similar to how an introduction should capture your reader's interest and present your argument, a conclusion should show why your argument matters and leave the reader with further curiosity about the topic. To do this, you should begin by reminding the reader of your thesis statement.
A PDF providing further guidance on writing science essays for tutorials is available to download.. Short videos to support your essay writing skills. There are many other resources at Oxford that can help support your essay writing skills and if you are short on time, the Oxford Study Skills Centre has produced a number of short (2-minute) videos covering different aspects of essay writing ...
Essay Conclusion Examples. Below is a range of copy-and-paste essay conclusions with gaps for you to fill-in your topic and key arguments. Browse through for one you like (there are 17 for argumentative, expository, compare and contrast, and critical essays). Once you've found one you like, copy it and add-in the key points to make it your ...
Writing a Conclusion. A conclusion is an important part of the paper; it provides closure for the reader while reminding the reader of the contents and importance of the paper. It accomplishes this by stepping back from the specifics in order to view the bigger picture of the document. In other words, it is reminding the reader of the main ...
The conclusion. The conclusion provides a way of neatly ending the discussion and providing a clear answer to the question or task set out in the introduction. It also allows you to relate your discussion back to the wider context, for example by identifying gaps in our current knowledge and suggesting a direction for future study.
The conclusion is a place for synthesis and analysis based on your essays content; it should bring closure to the essay and provide the final perspective on the topic. You can do this by: • Summarising the argument and the main supporting points • Highlighting why the argument/conclusion is important; reference the larger issue
Conclusions are shorter sections of academic texts which usually serve two functions. The first is to summarise and bring together the main areas covered in the writing, which might be called 'looking back'; and the second is to give a final comment or judgement on this. The final comment may also include making suggestions for improvement ...
Conclusions. Conclusions wrap up what you have been discussing in your paper. After moving from general to specific information in the introduction and body paragraphs, your conclusion should begin pulling back into more general information that restates the main points of your argument. Conclusions may also call for action or overview future ...
Simply repeat your thesis word-for-word. This lacks originality and doesn't offer a fresh perspective. Summarize your key points concisely. 📝 Briefly revisit the main arguments used to support your thesis. Rehash every detail from your essay. 🔍 Focus on a high-level overview to reinforce your essay's main points.
The usual advice is. Introduction: say what you're going to say. Main body: say it. Conclusion: say that you've said it. However, this approach can feel repetitive and is not very rewarding to write or read. A more engaging approach is to think about the perspective of the reader and what they need to know in order to make sense of your writing.
3. Don't undermine your argument. Although there might be several points of view regarding your essay topic, it is crucial that you stick to your own. You may have stated and refuted other points of view in your body paragraphs. However, your conclusion is simply meant to strengthen your main argument.
College essay example #1. This is a college essay that worked for Harvard University. (Suggested reading: How to Get Into Harvard Undergrad) This past summer, I had the privilege of participating in the University of Notre Dame's Research Experience for Undergraduates (REU) program .
conclusion is. Here the student looks to the future. Whilst they have concluded their own essay they have also suggested where further discussion could be focussed. However, often these reports now include the moment-by-moment stories as told via social media, greatly increasing the impact of that medium. In the future, our ability to understand
Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College) Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head.
The Online Writing Lab at Purdue University houses writing resources and instructional material, and we provide these as a free service of the Writing Lab at Purdue. Students, members of the community, and users worldwide will find information to assist with many writing projects. Teachers and trainers may use this material for in-class and out ...
Office Hours: Our office will be open both virtually and in-person on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday from 8:00am-4:30pm. We will also be open virtually on Wednesdays from 8:00am-4:30pm. In the online Common Application Writing Supplement, please respond to both the Cornell University essay question and the essay prompt that corresponds ...
The essays are a place to show us who you are and who you'll be in our community. It's a chance to add depth to something that is important to you and tell the admissions committee more about your background or goals. Below you'll find selected examples of essays that "worked," as nominated by our admissions committee.
Remember, the personal insight questions are just that—personal. Which means you should use our guidance for each question just as a suggestion in case you need help. The important thing is expressing who you are, what matters to you and what you want to share with UC. 1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have ...
The Making of a Modernist Icon. By David Minogue. June 06, 2024. 1st place Raclin Murphy Museum of Art Award. Volume 24. Text Essay. Analysis. Julius Shulman (American, 1910-2009) The Stahl House, Los Angeles, 1960, Gelatin silver print, 32 x 28 in. Raclin Murphy Museum of Art, University of Notre Dame.
A mini-step-by-step guide to writing each response. How to write each PIQ (with examples) Prompt #1: Leadership. Prompt #2: Creative. Prompt #3: Greatest Talent or Skill. Prompt #4: Significant Educational Opportunity/Barrier. Prompt #5: Significant Challenge.
Editor's Note: This story is part of an occasional series on research projects currently in the works at the Law School. The Supreme Court's decision in June 2023 to bar the use of affirmative action in college admissions raised many questions. One of the most significant is whether universities should consider applicants' discussion of race in essays. The Court's decision in Students ...
University of Southern California; University of Southern California Gould School of Law. Kristin E. Hickman. University of Minnesota - Twin Cities - School of Law. ... Over 95 multiple choice questions and 12 essay questions, ChatGPT performed on average at the level of a C+ student, achieving a low but passing grade in all four courses. ...