basic interpersonal communication assignment

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6.1 Principles of Interpersonal Communication

Learning objectives.

• Define interpersonal communication.
• Discuss the functional aspects of interpersonal communication.
• Discuss the cultural aspects of interpersonal communication.

In order to understand interpersonal communication, we must understand how interpersonal communication functions to meet our needs and goals and how our interpersonal communication connects to larger social and cultural systems. Interpersonal communication is the process of exchanging messages between people whose lives mutually influence one another in unique ways in relation to social and cultural norms. This definition highlights the fact that interpersonal communication involves two or more people who are interdependent to some degree and who build a unique bond based on the larger social and cultural contexts to which they belong. So a brief exchange with a grocery store clerk who you don’t know wouldn’t be considered interpersonal communication, because you and the clerk are not influencing each other in significant ways. Obviously, if the clerk were a friend, family member, coworker, or romantic partner, the communication would fall into the interpersonal category. In this section, we discuss the importance of studying interpersonal communication and explore its functional and cultural aspects.

Why Study Interpersonal Communication?

Interpersonal communication has many implications for us in the real world. Did you know that interpersonal communication played an important role in human evolution? Early humans who lived in groups, rather than alone, were more likely to survive, which meant that those with the capability to develop interpersonal bonds were more likely to pass these traits on to the next generation (Leary, 2001). Did you know that interpersonal skills have a measurable impact on psychological and physical health? People with higher levels of interpersonal communication skills are better able to adapt to stress, have greater satisfaction in relationships and more friends, and have less depression and anxiety (Hargie, 2011). In fact, prolonged isolation has been shown to severely damage a human (Williams & Zadro, 2001). Have you ever heard of the boy or girl who was raised by wolves? There have been documented cases of abandoned or neglected children, sometimes referred to as feral children, who survived using their animalistic instincts but suffered psychological and physical trauma as a result of their isolation (Candland, 1995). There are also examples of solitary confinement, which has become an ethical issue in many countries. In “supermax” prisons, which now operate in at least forty-four states, prisoners spend 22.5 to 24 hours a day in their cells and have no contact with the outside world or other prisoners (Shalev, 2011).

Solitary confinement is common in supermax prisons, where prisoners spend 22.5 to 24 hours a day in their cells.

Jmiller291 – Solitary Confinement, Old Geelong Gaol 7 – CC BY 2.0.

Aside from making your relationships and health better, interpersonal communication skills are highly sought after by potential employers, consistently ranking in the top ten in national surveys (National Association of Colleges and Employers, 2010). Each of these examples illustrates how interpersonal communication meets our basic needs as humans for security in our social bonds, health, and careers. But we are not born with all the interpersonal communication skills we’ll need in life. So in order to make the most out of our interpersonal relationships, we must learn some basic principles.

Think about a time when a short communication exchange affected a relationship almost immediately. Did you mean for it to happen? Many times we engage in interpersonal communication to fulfill certain goals we may have, but sometimes we are more successful than others. This is because interpersonal communication is strategic, meaning we intentionally create messages to achieve certain goals that help us function in society and our relationships. Goals vary based on the situation and the communicators, but ask yourself if you are generally successful at achieving the goals with which you enter a conversation or not. If so, you may already possess a high degree of interpersonal communication competence , or the ability to communicate effectively and appropriately in personal relationships. This chapter will help you understand some key processes that can make us more effective and appropriate communicators. You may be asking, “Aren’t effectiveness and appropriateness the same thing?” The answer is no. Imagine that you are the manager of a small department of employees at a marketing agency where you often have to work on deadlines. As a deadline approaches, you worry about your team’s ability to work without your supervision to complete the tasks, so you interrupt everyone’s work and assign them all individual tasks and give them a bulleted list of each subtask with a deadline to turn each part in to you. You meet the deadline and have effectively accomplished your goal. Over the next month, one of your employees puts in her two-weeks’ notice, and you learn that she and a few others have been talking about how they struggle to work with you as a manager. Although your strategy was effective, many people do not respond well to strict hierarchy or micromanaging and may have deemed your communication inappropriate. A more competent communicator could have implemented the same detailed plan to accomplish the task in a manner that included feedback, making the employees feel more included and heard. In order to be competent interpersonal communicators, we must learn to balance being effective and appropriate.

Functional Aspects of Interpersonal Communication

We have different needs that are met through our various relationships. Whether we are aware of it or not, we often ask ourselves, “What can this relationship do for me?” In order to understand how relationships achieve strategic functions, we will look at instrumental goals, relationship-maintenance goals, and self-presentation goals.

What motivates you to communicate with someone? We frequently engage in communication designed to achieve instrumental goals such as gaining compliance (getting someone to do something for us), getting information we need, or asking for support (Burleson, Metts, & Kirch, 2000). In short, instrumental talk helps us “get things done” in our relationships. Our instrumental goals can be long term or day to day. The following are examples of communicating for instrumental goals:

• You ask your friend to help you move this weekend (gaining/resisting compliance).
• You ask your coworker to remind you how to balance your cash register till at the end of your shift (requesting or presenting information).
• You console your roommate after he loses his job (asking for or giving support).

When we communicate to achieve relational goals, we are striving to maintain a positive relationship. Engaging in relationship-maintenance communication is like taking your car to be serviced at the repair shop. To have a good relationship, just as to have a long-lasting car, we should engage in routine maintenance. For example, have you ever wanted to stay in and order a pizza and watch a movie, but your friend suggests that you go to a local restaurant and then to the theatre? Maybe you don’t feel like being around a lot of people or spending money (or changing out of your pajamas), but you decide to go along with his or her suggestion. In that moment, you are putting your relational partner’s needs above your own, which will likely make him or her feel valued. It is likely that your friend has made or will also make similar concessions to put your needs first, which indicates that there is a satisfactory and complimentary relationship. Obviously, if one partner always insists on having his or her way or always concedes, becoming the martyr, the individuals are not exhibiting interpersonal-communication competence. Other routine relational tasks include celebrating special occasions or honoring accomplishments, spending time together, and checking in regularly by phone, e-mail, text, social media, or face-to-face communication. The following are examples of communicating for relational goals:

• You organize an office party for a coworker who has just become a US citizen (celebrating/honoring accomplishments).
• You make breakfast with your mom while you are home visiting (spending time together).
• You post a message on your long-distance friend’s Facebook wall saying you miss him (checking in).

Gathering to celebrate a colleague’s birthday is a good way for coworkers to achieve relational goals in the workplace.

Twingly – Happy b-day – CC BY 2.0.

Another form of relational talk that I have found very useful is what I call the DTR talk , which stands for “defining-the-relationship talk” and serves a relationship-maintenance function. In the early stages of a romantic relationship, you may have a DTR talk to reduce uncertainty about where you stand by deciding to use the term boyfriend , girlfriend , or partner . In a DTR talk, you may proactively define your relationship by saying, “I’m glad I’m with you and no one else.” Your romantic interest may respond favorably, echoing or rephrasing your statement, which gives you an indication that he or she agrees with you. The talk may continue on from there, and you may talk about what to call your relationship, set boundaries, or not. It is not unusual to have several DTR talks as a relationship progresses. At times, you may have to define the relationship when someone steps over a line by saying, “I think we should just be friends.” This more explicit and reactive (rather than proactive) communication can be especially useful in situations where a relationship may be unethical, inappropriate, or create a conflict of interest—for example, in a supervisor-supervisee, mentor-mentee, professional-client, or collegial relationship.

We also pursue self-presentation goals by adapting our communication in order to be perceived in particular ways. Just as many companies, celebrities, and politicians create a public image, we desire to present different faces in different contexts. The well-known scholar Erving Goffman compared self-presentation to a performance and suggested we all perform different roles in different contexts (Goffman, 1959). Indeed, competent communicators can successfully manage how others perceive them by adapting to situations and contexts. A parent may perform the role of stern head of household, supportive shoulder to cry on, or hip and culturally aware friend to his or her child. A newly hired employee may initially perform the role of serious and agreeable coworker. Sometimes people engage in communication that doesn’t necessarily present them in a positive way. For example, Haley, the oldest daughter in the television show Modern Family , often presents herself as incapable in order to get her parents to do her work. In one episode she pretended she didn’t know how to crack open an egg so her mom Claire would make the brownies for her school bake sale. Here are some other examples of communicating to meet self-presentation goals:

• As your boss complains about struggling to format the company newsletter, you tell her about your experience with Microsoft Word and editing and offer to look over the newsletter once she’s done to fix the formatting (presenting yourself as competent).
• You and your new college roommate stand in your dorm room full of boxes. You let him choose which side of the room he wants and then invite him to eat lunch with you (presenting yourself as friendly).
• You say, “I don’t know,” in response to a professor’s question even though you have an idea of the answer (presenting yourself as aloof, or “too cool for school”).

“Getting Real”

Image Consultants

The Association of Image Consultants International (AICI) states that appearance, behavior, and communication are the “ABC’s of image.” Many professional image consultants are licensed by this organization and provide a variety of services to politicians, actors, corporate trainers, public speakers, organizations, corporations, and television personalities such as news anchors. [1] Visit the AICI’s website ( http://www.aici.org/About_Image_Consulting/Image_Consulting.htm ) and read about image consulting, including the “How to Choose,” “How to Become,” and “FAQs” sections. Then consider the following questions:

• If you were to hire an image consultant for yourself, what would you have them “work on” for you? Why?
• What communication skills that you’ve learned about in the book so far would be most important for an image consultant to possess?
• Many politicians use image consultants to help them connect to voters and win elections. Do you think this is ethical? Why or why not?

As if managing instrumental, relational, and self-presentation goals isn’t difficult enough when we consider them individually, we must also realize that the three goal types are always working together. In some situations we may privilege instrumental goals over relational or self-presentation goals. For example, if your partner is offered a great job in another state and you decided to go with him or her, which will move you away from your job and social circle, you would be focusing on relational goals over instrumental or self-presentation goals. When you’re facing a stressful situation and need your best friend’s help and call saying, “Hurry and bring me a gallon of gas or I’m going to be late to work!” you are privileging instrumental goals over relational goals. Of course, if the person really is your best friend, you can try to smooth things over or make up for your shortness later. However, you probably wouldn’t call your boss and bark a request to bring you a gallon of gas so you can get to work, because you likely want your boss to see you as dependable and likable, meaning you have focused on self-presentation goals.

The functional perspective of interpersonal communication indicates that we communicate to achieve certain goals in our relationships. We get things done in our relationships by communicating for instrumental goals. We maintain positive relationships through relational goals. We also strategically present ourselves in order to be perceived in particular ways. As our goals are met and our relationships build, they become little worlds we inhabit with our relational partners, complete with their own relationship cultures.

Cultural Aspects of Interpersonal Communication

Aside from functional aspects of interpersonal communication, communicating in relationships also helps establish relationship cultures. Just as large groups of people create cultures through shared symbols (language), values, and rituals, people in relationships also create cultures at a smaller level. Relationship cultures are the climates established through interpersonal communication that are unique to the relational partners but based on larger cultural and social norms. We also enter into new relationships with expectations based on the schemata we have developed in previous relationships and learned from our larger society and culture. Think of relationship schemata as blueprints or plans that show the inner workings of a relationship. Just like a schematic or diagram for assembling a new computer desk helps you put it together, relationship schemata guide us in how we believe our interpersonal relationships should work and how to create them. So from our life experiences in our larger cultures, we bring building blocks, or expectations, into our relationships, which fundamentally connect our relationships to the outside world (Burleson, Metts, & Kirch, 2000). Even though we experience our relationships as unique, they are at least partially built on preexisting cultural norms.

Some additional communicative acts that create our relational cultures include relational storytelling, personal idioms, routines and rituals, and rules and norms. Storytelling is an important part of how we create culture in larger contexts and how we create a uniting and meaningful storyline for our relationships. In fact, an anthropologist coined the term homo narrans to describe the unique storytelling capability of modern humans (Fisher, 1985). We often rely on relationship storytelling to create a sense of stability in the face of change, test the compatibility of potential new relational partners, or create or maintain solidarity in established relationships. Think of how you use storytelling among your friends, family, coworkers, and other relational partners. If you recently moved to a new place for college, you probably experienced some big changes. One of the first things you started to do was reestablish a social network—remember, human beings are fundamentally social creatures. As you began to encounter new people in your classes, at your new job, or in your new housing, you most likely told some stories of your life before—about your friends, job, or teachers back home. One of the functions of this type of storytelling, early in forming interpersonal bonds, is a test to see if the people you are meeting have similar stories or can relate to your previous relationship cultures. In short, you are testing the compatibility of your schemata with the new people you encounter. Although storytelling will continue to play a part in your relational development with these new people, you may be surprised at how quickly you start telling stories with your new friends about things that have happened since you met. You may recount stories about your first trip to the dance club together, the weird geology professor you had together, or the time you all got sick from eating the cafeteria food. In short, your old stories will start to give way to new stories that you’ve created. Storytelling within relationships helps create solidarity, or a sense of belonging and closeness. This type of storytelling can be especially meaningful for relationships that don’t fall into the dominant culture. For example, research on a gay male friendship circle found that the gay men retold certain dramatic stories frequently to create a sense of belonging and to also bring in new members to the group (Jones Jr., 2007).

We also create personal idioms in our relationships (Bell & Healey, 1992). If you’ve ever studied foreign languages, you know that idiomatic expressions like “I’m under the weather today” are basically nonsense when translated. For example, the equivalent of this expression in French translates to “I’m not in my plate today.” When you think about it, it doesn’t make sense to use either expression to communicate that you’re sick, but the meaning would not be lost on English or French speakers, because they can decode their respective idiom. This is also true of idioms we create in our interpersonal relationships. Just as idioms are unique to individual cultures and languages, personal idioms are unique to certain relationships, and they create a sense of belonging due to the inside meaning shared by the relational partners. In romantic relationships, for example, it is common for individuals to create nicknames for each other that may not directly translate for someone who overhears them. You and your partner may find that calling each other “booger” is sweet, while others may think it’s gross. Researchers have found that personal idioms are commonly used in the following categories: activities, labels for others, requests, and sexual references (Bell & Healey, 1992). The recent cultural phenomenon Jersey Shore on MTV has given us plenty of examples of personal idioms created by the friends on the show. GTL is an activity idiom that stands for “gym, tan, laundry”—a common routine for the cast of the show. There are many examples of idioms labeling others, including grenade for an unattractive female, gorilla juice head for a very muscular man, and backpack for a clingy boyfriend/girlfriend or a clingy person at a club. There are also many idioms for sexual references, such as smush , meaning to hook up / have sex, and smush room , which is the room set aside for these activities (Benigno, 2010). Idioms help create cohesiveness, or solidarity in relationships, because they are shared cues between cultural insiders. They also communicate the uniqueness of the relationship and create boundaries, since meaning is only shared within the relationship.

Routines and rituals help form relational cultures through their natural development in repeated or habitual interaction (Burleson, Metts, & Kirch, 2000). While “routine” may connote boring in some situations, relationship routines are communicative acts that create a sense of predictability in a relationship that is comforting. Some communicative routines may develop around occasions or conversational topics.

For example, it is common for long-distance friends or relatives to schedule a recurring phone conversation or for couples to review the day’s events over dinner. When I studied abroad in Sweden, my parents and I talked on the phone at the same time every Sunday, which established a comfortable routine for us. Other routines develop around entire conversational episodes. For example, two best friends recounting their favorite spring-break story may seamlessly switch from one speaker to the other, finish each other’s sentences, speak in unison, or gesture simultaneously because they have told the story so many times. Relationship rituals take on more symbolic meaning than do relationship routines and may be variations on widely recognized events—such as birthdays, anniversaries, Passover, Christmas, or Thanksgiving—or highly individualized and original. Relational partners may personalize their traditions by eating mussels and playing Yahtzee on Christmas Eve or going hiking on their anniversary. Other rituals may be more unique to the relationship, such as celebrating a dog’s birthday or going to opening day at the amusement park. The following highly idiosyncratic ritual was reported by a participant in a research study:

I would check my husband’s belly button for fuzz on a daily basis at bedtime. It originated when I noticed some blanket fuzz in his belly button one day and thought it was funny…We both found it funny and teased often about the fuzz. If there wasn’t any fuzz for a few days my husband would put some in his belly button for me to find. It’s been happening for about 10 years now (Bruess & Pearson, 1997).

A couple may share a relationship routine of making dinner together every Saturday night.

Free Stock Photos – Cooking – public domain.

Whether the routines and rituals involve phone calls, eating certain foods, or digging for belly button fuzz, they all serve important roles in building relational cultures. However, as with storytelling, rituals and routines can be negative. For example, verbal and nonverbal patterns to berate or belittle your relational partner will not have healthy effects on a relational culture. Additionally, visiting your in-laws during the holidays loses its symbolic value when you dislike them and comply with the ritual because you feel like you have to. In this case, the ritual doesn’t enrich the relational culture, but it may reinforce norms or rules that have been created in the relationship.

Relationship rules and norms help with the daily function of the relationship. They help create structure and provide boundaries for interacting in the relationship and for interacting with larger social networks (Burleson, Metts, & Kirch, 2000). Relationship rules are explicitly communicated guidelines for what should and should not be done in certain contexts. A couple could create a rule to always confer with each other before letting their child spend the night somewhere else. If a mother lets her son sleep over at a friend’s house without consulting her partner, a more serious conflict could result. Relationship norms are similar to routines and rituals in that they develop naturally in a relationship and generally conform to or are adapted from what is expected and acceptable in the larger culture or society. For example, it may be a norm that you and your coworkers do not “talk shop” at your Friday happy-hour gathering. So when someone brings up work at the gathering, his coworkers may remind him that there’s no shop talk, and the consequences may not be that serious. In regards to topic of conversation, norms often guide expectations of what subjects are appropriate within various relationships. Do you talk to your boss about your personal finances? Do you talk to your father about your sexual activity? Do you tell your classmates about your medical history? In general, there are no rules that say you can’t discuss any of these topics with anyone you choose, but relational norms usually lead people to answer “no” to the questions above. Violating relationship norms and rules can negatively affect a relationship, but in general, rule violations can lead to more direct conflict, while norm violations can lead to awkward social interactions. Developing your interpersonal communication competence will help you assess your communication in relation to the many rules and norms you will encounter.

Key Takeaways

• Getting integrated: Interpersonal communication occurs between two or more people whose lives are interdependent and mutually influence one another. These relationships occur in academic, professional, personal, and civic contexts, and improving our interpersonal communication competence can also improve our physical and psychological health, enhance our relationships, and make us more successful in our careers.

There are functional aspects of interpersonal communication.

• We “get things done” in our relationships by communicating for instrumental goals such as getting someone to do something for us, requesting or presenting information, and asking for or giving support.
• We maintain our relationships by communicating for relational goals such as putting your relational partner’s needs before your own, celebrating accomplishments, spending time together, and checking in.
• We strategically project ourselves to be perceived in particular ways by communicating for self-presentation goals such as appearing competent or friendly.

There are cultural aspects of interpersonal communication.

• We create relationship cultures based on the relationship schemata we develop through our interactions with our larger society and culture.
• We engage in relationship storytelling to create a sense of stability in the face of change, to test our compatibility with potential relational partners, and to create a sense of solidarity and belonging in established relationships.
• We create personal idioms such as nicknames that are unique to our particular relationship and are unfamiliar to outsiders to create cohesiveness and solidarity.
• We establish relationship routines and rituals to help establish our relational culture and bring a sense of comfort and predictability to our relationships.
• Getting integrated: In what ways might interpersonal communication competence vary among academic, professional, and civic contexts? What competence skills might be more or less important in one context than in another?
• Recount a time when you had a DTR talk. At what stage in the relationship was the talk? What motivated you or the other person to initiate the talk? What was the result of the talk?
• Pick an important relationship and describe its relationship culture. When the relationship started, what relationship schemata guided your expectations? Describe a relationship story that you tell with this person or about this person. What personal idioms do you use? What routines and rituals do you observe? What norms and rules do you follow?

Bell, R. A. and J. G. Healey, “Idiomatic Communication and Interpersonal Solidarity in Friends’ Relational Cultures,” Human Communication Research 18 (1992): 307–35.

Benigno, A., “Jersey Shore Glossary: This Dictionary of Terms Will Get You (Fist) Pumped for Season Two,” N.Y. Daily News , July 28, 2010, http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-07-28/entertainment/27071281_1_jersey-shore-fist-pump-snooki .

Bruess, C. J. S. and Judy C. Pearson, “Interpersonal Rituals in Marriage and Adult Friendship,” Communication Monographs 64, no. 1 (1997): 35.

Burleson, B. R., Sandra Metts, and Michael W. Kirch, “Communication in Close Relationships,” in Close Relationships: A Sourcebook , eds. Clyde Hendrick and Susan S. Hendrick (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2000), 247.

Candland, D. K., Feral Children and Clever Animals: Reflections on Human Nature (New York: Oxford University Press, 1995).

Fisher, W. R., “Narration as Human Communication Paradigm: The Case of Public Moral Argument,” Communication Monographs 51, no. 1 (1985): 1–22.

Goffman, E., The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (New York: Anchor Books, 1959).

Hargie, O., Skilled Interpersonal Interaction: Research, Theory, and Practice (London: Routledge, 2011), 2.

Jones Jr., R. G., “Drag Queens, Drama Queens, and Friends: Drama and Performance as a Solidarity Building Function in a Gay Male Friendship Circle,” Kaleidoscope: A Graduate Journal of Qualitative Communication Research 6, no. 1 (2007): 61–84.

Leary, M. R., “Toward a Conceptualization of Interpersonal Rejection,” in Interpersonal Rejection , ed. Mark R. Leary (New York: Oxford University Press, 2001), 3–20.

National Association of Colleges and Employers, Job Outlook 2011 (2010): 25.

Shalev, S., “Solitary Confinement and Supermax Prisons: A Human Rights and Ethical Analysis,” Journal of Forensic Psychology Practice 11, no. 2 (2011): 151.

Williams, K. D. and Lisa Zadro, “Ostracism: On Being Ignored, Excluded, and Rejected,” in Interpersonal Rejection , ed. Mark R. Leary (New York: Oxford University Press, 2001), 21–54.

• “About Image Consulting,” Association of Image Consultants International webpage, accessed June 3, 2011, http://www.aici.org/About_Image_Consulting/Image_Consulting.htm . ↵

Communication in the Real World Copyright © 2016 by University of Minnesota is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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4 Practical Interpersonal Communication Activities

We all know that authentic communication goes both ways, as an ongoing dialogue between two or more people.

But so often, we struggle to teach language in that way. That’s why it’s necessary to stress the importance of interpersonal communication.

Keep on reading to find out about 4 fun interpersonal communication activities that you can do with your students!

4 Effective Interpersonal Communication Activities

1. post-presentation q and a session, 2. conversation around the circle, 3. student-generated surveys, 4. random object improv, what are the 3 modes of communication, 1. interpretive communication, 2. presentational communication, 3. interpersonal communication, why your students need interpersonal communication activities.

Download: This blog post is available as a convenient and portable PDF that you can take anywhere. Click here to get a copy. (Download)

This is a clever way to inject some interpersonal flavor within the presentational mode.

Next time your students give a prepared presentation , follow up with a spontaneous question-and-answer session.

Provide some brief coaching on the vocabulary and sentence structure needed for asking questions, and then let the students ask whatever comes to mind related to the information presented. For this activity, make sure students know they will not be penalized in any way for incorrect grammar or pronunciation. If they feel free to make mistakes, it can lead to a truly uninhibited, two-way conversation.

Here’s a fun activity to do with your class.

Arrange your students to sit in a circle. Then, move the conversation in a clockwise or counter-clockwise direction as each student asks a question. Depending on their level of proficiency, these questions may be improvised on the spot or prepared ahead of time. You can choose to have each student ask a question of the peer sitting next to him/her; or you can have 3-5 different students volunteer answers to the question, depending on the group and their comfort level.

This activity can be adapted to different seating arrangements, and works well in a game format (i.e., have students compete to see which ones give the most answers.)

This is a survey activity that encourages short, structured responses. It can be adapted to any level and gives students structured practice with two-way communication.

Students must create survey questions based on a topic that you’re covering in class. For example, questions about their favorite leisure activities work well if you’re working on a unit about hobbies and pastimes. These can be presented in:

• Open-ended questions: “What is your favorite sport?”
• Yes/no questions: “Do you like to draw?”

Students then circulate around the room, asking their peers questions and compiling the results. At the end, the class regroups so students can share these results, using the target language. Common results shared include sentences like: “Four students like to play baseball,” “Six students like to draw,” and so on.

Jot down the names of a few random objects (i.e., “guitar,” “tree,” “pencil,” etc.) on slips of paper and put them in a hat. Students then walk up in pairs or small groups, pick an object out of the hat, and then improvise a short dialogue around that item. This activity can be loads of fun, getting even the shyest students out of their shell.

It’s widely accepted that we use three different ways to express ourselves, depending on the situation. For a language learner to become fluent in their target language, they need to first understand the different modes of communication and when to use them.

So, what’s the difference between the three? Let’s take a look.

This is a type of one-way communication where students use their listening and/or reading skills to comprehend spoken and written language. Some examples would be listening to a podcast or reading a book  and answering questions.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with interpretive communication activities in the classroom. In fact, they are invaluable for providing language exposure that can lead to fluency. And reading and listening are both crucial skills for effective communication.

But the awkward fact remains that real-life encounters with the language are usually about holding conversations  rather than one-sided listening or reading activities.

This is yet another instance of one-way communication—but in the other direction.

Presentational communication occurs when your students use their writing and speaking skills to present information or knowledge on a topic. Examples include performing a prepared skit or dialogue, or presenting a slideshow.

This type of communication is also valuable to your students. They need to learn how to organize and express their thoughts clearly.

But real conversations are spontaneous. You don’t get a chance to prepare a speech ahead of time. Rather, it’s a give-and-take of listening and responding.

This is two-way communication in which both sides actively negotiate meaning through a process of observing, monitoring and clarification.

Needless to say, this describes most authentic conversations in daily life . All parties spontaneously build meaning together.

But it’s tough to achieve this level of spontaneity within the constructs of a classroom, among students who may only have a basic vocabulary at their disposal.

Despite the challenges, though, interpersonal communication is essential for your students to learn how to use the language effectively.

Below are some reasons why you should be adding interpersonal communication activities in your lessons.

But first, if you want to maximize classroom communication and help your language learners speak more naturally,  FluentU   can help.

FluentU offers a unique learning experience not found in most language-learning curriculum—authenticity.  FluentU enables educators to teach language using a mixture of tried-and-true exercises and real-world material. As a result, students learn the mechanics of a language and practice communicating like a native speaker.

Now that we’ve covered the basics, here are some reasons why language learners should be actively building their interpersonal communication skills.

1. Interpersonal communication helps them build confidence and overcome anxiety about speaking

Let’s be honest; many students find it terrifying to speak up in a language class. They’re accustomed to carefully phrasing their communication via social media comments or text messages. Spontaneous, face-to-face communication feels unnatural and scary.

But by providing plenty of opportunities for interpersonal communication within your classroom, you can build your students’ comfort levels so they can go forth and communicate with confidence.

2. It develops a more natural understanding of language and how it works

As we constantly express ourselves and negotiate meaning with others, we develop an intuitive understanding of the language.

One example is grammatical rules. You can teach grammar in your lessons , but it won’t really make sense until someone has a chance to hear the rule in action so that they can recognize when something just doesn’t sound right.

3. It taps into the emotional, affective side of learning

What makes knowledge memorable? Often it’s the emotions we associate with it.

That’s why we often use songs, pictures,  stories and literature to make a lesson stick in our students’ minds.

The spontaneous interactions of interpersonal communication force us to dig a little deeper for our responses—tapping into that rich emotional landscape where true learning happens.

4. Interpersonal communication is the whole reason for studying a language

You know your students are not in your class because they want to learn how to prepare scripted dialogues or to read passages from a text.

They want to be able to listen and speak in their target language.

How many people do you know who studied a language for years in school, yet are unable to speak it? How sad and disappointing. The students in front of you dream of being able to converse fluently in the target language. That’s the whole reason they’re in your class in the first place.

And guess what. Interpersonal communication is the only way to get them there.

By now, you’re probably sold on the benefits of interpersonal communication— that is, if you weren’t already.

But when it comes to incorporating spontaneous, two-way communication in your classroom, you may feel that your creativity is quickly stretched to the limit. That’s where we can help! Read further to learn how to prepare interpersonal communication activities that you can easily incorporate in your classroom routine.

Communication truly is a two-way street—and the foreign language activities above can help you walk down it.

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Interpersonal Communication Skills: A Complete Overview

Read this blog on Interpersonal Communication Skills to learn about communication processes and master verbal, nonverbal, listening, and other essential skills. Learn how to improve these skills, their benefits, and practical tips to enhance your interpersonal communication abilities in this comprehensive overview. Read more to learn!

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According to The Future of Work 2021 report, 87 per cent of employers reported that it is difficult to fill positions due to the skills gap. So, mastering the skills like Interpersonal Communication Skills can improve your chances of getting hired. In this blog, you will learn what Interpersonal Communication Skills are, their benefits and how to develop them, and some useful tips to enhance them.   

Table of Contents          

1) Understanding Interpersonal Communication Skills 

2) Different types of Interpersonal Communication Skills 

3) How to develop strong Interpersonal Communication Skills?

4) Interpersonal Communication in the workplace

5) Jobs that require Interpersonal Communication Skills

6) Benefits of Interpersonal Communication Skills

7) Tips to enhance Interpersonal Communication Skills

8) Conclusion 

Understanding Interpersonal Communication Skills

Interpersonal Communication Skills are the abilities that allow individuals to communicate, collaborate, and interact with others effectively. These skills encompass active listening, clear communication, empathy, and building and keeping relationships.   

Different types of Interpersonal Communication Skills

 Here is a brief overview of some of the most common Interpersonal Communication Skills:

Verbal Communication Skills

Verbal Communication Skills refer to the use of spoken words to convey messages and meanings. These include choosing the appropriate language, tone, and style for the audience and context, speaking clearly and confidently, using persuasive and assertive techniques, and providing constructive feedback and praise. Verbal Communication Skills are important for expressing opinions, sharing knowledge, influencing others, and building rapport.

Nonverbal Communication Skills

Nonverbal Communication Skills refer to the use of body language, facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, and other cues to complement or contradict verbal messages. Nonverbal Communication Skills include maintaining an open and relaxed posture, using appropriate gestures and facial expressions, making eye contact and nodding, and respecting personal space and boundaries. 

Written Communication Skills

Written Communication Skills refer to the use of written words to convey messages and meanings. Written Communication Skills include using correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation, organising and structuring ideas logically and coherently, using clear and concise language, and adapting the tone and style to the audience and purpose. 

Listening is the process of receiving, attending, and understanding verbal and nonverbal messages from others. Active Listening Skills include paying attention and avoiding distractions, showing interest and curiosity, asking questions and clarifying doubts, summarising and paraphrasing key points, and acknowledging and empathising with the speaker.

Dependability

Dependability is the quality of being reliable, trustworthy, and consistent in fulfilling one’s responsibilities and commitments. Dependability skills include setting realistic and achievable goals, prioritising and managing time effectively, following through and delivering on promises, and being accountable and honest. 

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of others. Empathy means recognising and acknowledging the emotions and perspectives of others, putting oneself in their shoes and imagining how they feel, and expressing support and compassion. 

Leadership is the ability to inspire, motivate, and guide others towards a common goal or vision. Leadership Skills include setting clear and realistic objectives, communicating effectively and persuasively, delegating tasks and responsibilities, providing feedback and recognition, and resolving conflicts and challenges. 

Teamwork is the ability to work effectively and cooperatively with others towards a shared purpose or goal. Teamwork skills include respecting and appreciating diversity, sharing ideas and information, listening and giving feedback, collaborating and compromising, and supporting and helping each other. 

Are you ready to take your Communication Skills to the next level? Join our Effective Communication Skills Course now! 

How to develop strong Interpersonal Communication Skills?

Self-awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to recognise and understand our own emotions, thoughts, and behaviours and how they affect ourselves and others. Self-awareness can help us communicate more clearly, authentically, and respectfully, as well as identify our strengths and areas for improvement. To enhance self-awareness, we can practice self-reflection, seek feedback, and be open to learning.

Empathy and emotional intelligence

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of others. Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage and regulate our own emotions, as well as recognise and respond appropriately to the emotions of others. Empathy and Emotional Intelligence can help us communicate more effectively, compassionately, and respectfully, as well as build trust and rapport. 

Active listening skills

Active listening involves giving full attention, feedback, and encouragement to the speaker and reflecting on what is being said. Active listening can help us communicate more effectively, comprehensively, and accurately, as well as facilitate problem-solving and decision-making.

To enhance active listening skills, we can use verbal and nonverbal signals to show attentiveness and ask open-ended and probing questions to elicit more information. Moreover, we can paraphrase and summarise what the speaker said to check for understanding and accuracy.

Conflict resolution skills

Conflict resolution skills refer to handling esolving conflicts and disagreements in a constructive and respectful way. Conflict resolution skills can help us communicate more effectively, collaboratively, and peacefully, as well as maintain positive and productive relationships. To enhance conflict resolution skills, we can use clear and concise language, be aware of nonverbal communication, be open to feedback, and seek win-win solutions.

Use clear and concise language 

Interpersonal Communication is at its peak when it is both concise and clear. Individuals in a conversation can utilise simple language and avoid any jargon or other technical terms which the other individual may not understand. Concise language also holds the listener’s attention and makes a long-lasting impact on their understanding of your message.  

Be aware of nonverbal communication  

Non-verbal communication involves body language and facial expressions. These facets of human communication are powerful as they convey important messages. Individuals in a conversation must take caution of their non-verbal cues and attempt to understand their counterpart’s body language to better comprehend the message conveyed. 

Be open to feedback 

Being receptive to feedback is a very important and attractive characteristic of an individual as that reflects their open-mindedness and humble personality. Open-mindedness constitutes receptivity to both criticism and feedback from others and entails leveraging their personal growth with the feedback.  

Master the art of conflict resolution and negotiation for transformative change with our Conflict Resolution And Negotiation For Change Training – sign up today! 

Interpersonal Communication in the workplace 

Working with a team and interacting with others, such as colleagues, customers, or superiors, is essential for almost every job. Different jobs require different levels of Interpersonal Communication Skills, and some depend on them more than others. Here are some key benefits of having effective communicators in any workplace:

a) New opportunities: Having excellent Communication Skills translates to easy and smooth communication with colleagues, which results in more work opportunities and ultimately professional growth.  

b) Becoming an effective leader: The mark of a successful leader is their ability to communicate with everyone, regardless of their leadership position in the corporate or educational space. An individual who communicates effectively with all their team members can better strengthen their relationships and foster a trusting environment. These practices make the team more resilient in the long run.  

c) Express more gratitude: Expressing and receiving gratitude can have a significantly positive impact on an individual’s well-being and performance at work. Managers who convey their gratitude to their well-performing employees motivate them to work harder. Such employees feel heard, and their work is acknowledged, which automatically makes them put in significantly more work than usual. 

Jobs that require Interpersonal Communication Skills 

Any job that a candidate applies for requires Interpersonal Communication Skills in some form. Here is a list that describes the various jobs that are pivotal on robust Interpersonal Skills: 

Teachers need Interpersonal Skills to work well with their colleagues, students, administrators, and parents. They need to be empathetic and patient as they encourage students to learn and grow.

Administrative Assistants

Administrative Assistants need Interpersonal Skills to be reliable and dependable. They need to communicate regularly with customers and clients and handle their requests and inquiries.

Registered Nurses

Registered Nurses need Interpersonal Communication Skills to provide comfort and care to their patients. They need to be compassionate, emotionally intelligent, self-aware, and emotionally stable as they deal with various health issues and situations.

Marketing Managers

Marketing Managers need Interpersonal Skills to collaborate with their marketing and sales teams and customers. They need to communicate effectively and persuasively as they create and execute marketing campaigns and strategies.

Customer Service Agents

Customer Service Agents need Interpersonal Skills to handle and manage customers. They need to be empathetic, patient, and active listeners as they address customers’ problems, complaints, and feedback.

Benefits of Interpersonal Communication Skills

These skills have wide-ranging applications in both professional and personal contexts. These skills are crucial in fostering effective teamwork, providing exceptional customer service, delivering impactful presentations, and building and maintaining relationships. Here are some key areas where Interpersonal Communication Skills are highly valuable:

Workplace communication  

Strong Interpersonal Communication Skills are essential for fostering a positive and productive environment in the workplace. Here's how::

a) Effective teamwork and collaboration: Interpersonal Communication Skills enable individuals to collaborate effectively with colleagues, share ideas, and work together towards common goals.  

b) Leadership and management: Strong Communication Skills are crucial for leaders and managers to convey expectations, provide feedback, and inspire their teams.   

c) Customer service: Interacting with customers requires exceptional Interpersonal Communication Skills to listen attentively, understand their needs, and provide solutions effectively.   

d) Presentations and public speaking: The ability to communicate clearly and engage the audience is vital for delivering impactful presentations or public speeches.   

Personal relationships  

Interpersonal Communication Skills are equally important in personal relationships for establishing strong connections and resolving conflicts. Here’s how:

a) Building and maintaining relationships: Effective communication helps build trust, understanding, and intimacy in personal relationships, such as friendships, romantic partnerships, and family dynamics.   

b) Conflict resolution in personal life: They aid in resolving conflicts constructively, promoting healthy communication, and maintaining harmonious relationships.   

c) Active listening in relationships: Being an active listener in personal relationships enhances empathy, fosters deeper connections, and strengthens emotional bonds.   

d) Expressing feelings and needs: Effective communication allows individuals to express their feelings, needs, and desires, leading to greater understanding and satisfaction in relationships.  

By applying Interpersonal Communication Skills in these areas, individuals can enhance their professional success, build fulfilling personal relationships, and navigate challenging situations with confidence and empathy.   

Tips to enhance Interpersonal Communication Skills  

Enhancing Interpersonal Communication Skills is an ongoing process that requires continuous improvement. By actively working on these skills, individuals can become more effective communicators and build stronger connections with others. Here are some strategies to enhance your Communication Skills:   

a) Practice and feedback: Engage in role-playing and simulations to practice different communication scenarios and seek feedback from trusted individuals to refine Communication Skills.   

b) Continuous learning: Attend communication workshops and courses, read books and articles, and watch educational videos on Interpersonal Communication to gain new techniques and insights.   

c) Observing role models: Identify effective communicators, analyse their techniques, and apply their insights to personal communication styles.   

By consistently practicing, seeking feedback, and learning from others, individuals can enhance their Communication Skills and become more effective and confident communicators. These skills will benefit professional success and build stronger relationships in both personal and professional settings.   

Ready to excel in your personal and professional relationships? Join our Interpersonal Skills Course and unlock the keys building strong connections.   

Conclusion  

Interpersonal Communication Skills are crucial for personal and professional growth. Individuals can build stronger connections and resolve conflicts effectively by practising active listening, improving verbal and nonverbal communication, and fostering empathy. Continuous learning, seeking feedback, and observing role models also play key roles in honing these skills.   

Enhance your Communication Skills for personal and professional success with our Communication Skills Course – sign up now! 

Frequently Asked Questions

To enhance your active listening skills, you can practice these tips:

a) Pay attention to the speaker and avoid distractions.

b) Show interest and empathy by using verbal and non-verbal cues.

c) Ask open-ended questions and paraphrase what you heard.

d) Give feedback and avoid interrupting or judging.  

Yes, improving Interpersonal Communication Skills can boost your confidence. By communicating effectively, you can:

a) Express yourself clearly and assertively.

b) Build trust and rapport with others.

c) Handle conflicts and feedback constructively.

d) Learn from different perspectives and experiences.  

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Assignment 7: Interpersonal Communication Skills

The purpose of this assignment is to help you examine the interpersonal communication skills you possess and how to further develop them. For this assignment, you will work independently.

Learning Objectives

LO1. Describe the skills associated with effective interpersonal communication.

LO3.Compare and contrast the different types of listening.

LO4. Apply interpersonal communication concepts to personal experiences.

The time estimated to complete this activity is 45-60 minutes.

Instructions

Please address the following questions in a 200-400 word written response. Follow formal writing conventions using complete sentences and checking spelling, grammar, and punctuation.

• Of the concepts that you learned about in this chapter, which 3 do you think are most important for positive interpersonal communication experiences and why?
• What is your primary listening style (people, action, content, time)? Choose one of the other listening styles. What should you think about when communicating with someone who has the other listening style you chose?
• Recall a situation in which you experienced conflict. Now that you know some approaches to effective interpersonal communication evaluate the experience your recalled and write down what you could have done differently?

Psychology of Human Relations Copyright © by Stevy Scarbrough is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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2.1: Purposes of Interpersonal Communication

• Last updated
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• Page ID 66546

• Jason S. Wrench, Narissra M. Punyanunt-Carter & Katherine S. Thweatt
• SUNY New Paltz & SUNY Oswego via OpenSUNY

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Learning Outcomes

• Explain Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and its relationship to communication.
• Describe the relationship between self, others, and communication.
• Understand building and maintaining relationships.

Meeting Personal Needs

Communication fulfills our physical, personal, and social needs. Research has shown a powerful link between happiness and communication. 1 In this particular study that included over 200 college students, they found that the ones who reported the highest levels of happiness also had a very active social life. The noted there were no differences between the happiest people and other similar peers in terms of how much they exercised, participated in religion, or engaged in other activities. The results from the study noted that having a social life can help people connect with others. We can connect with others through effective communication. Overall, communication is essential to our emotional wellbeing and perceptions about life.

Everyone has dreams that they want to achieve. What would happen if you never told anyone about your dreams? Would it really be possible to achieve your dreams without communication? To make your dreams a reality, you will have to interact with several people along the way who can help you fulfill your dreams and personal needs. The most famous people in history, who were actors, musicians, politicians, and business leaders, all started with a vision and were able to articulate those ideas to someone else who could help them launch their careers.

There are practical needs for communication. In every profession, excellent communication skills are a necessity. Doctors, nurses, and other health professionals need to be able to listen to their patients to understand their concerns and medical issues. In turn, these health professionals have to be able to communicate the right type of treatment and procedures so that their patients will feel confident that it is the best type of outcome, and they will comply with these medical orders.

Research has shown that couples who engage in effective communication report more happiness than couples who do not. 2 Communication is not an easy skill for everyone. As you read further, you will see that there are a lot of considerations and variables that can affect how a message is relayed and received. As the arrow in Figure 2.1.1 indicates, Maslow believed that human needs emerge in order starting from the bottom of the pyramid. At the basic level, humans must have physiological needs met, such as breathing, food, water, sex, homeostasis, sleep, and excretion. Once the physiological needs have been met, humans can attempt to meet safety needs, which include the safety of the body, family, resources, morality, health, and employment. A higher-order need that must be met is love and belonging , which encompasses friendship, sexual intimacy, and family. Another higher-order need that must be met before self-actualization is esteem , which includes self-esteem, confidence, achievement, respect of others, and respect by others. Maslow argued that all of the lower needs were necessary to help us achieve psychological health and eventually self-actualization. 3 Self-actualization leads to creativity, morality, spontaneity, problem-solving, lack of prejudice, and acceptance of facts.

Communicating and Meeting Personal Needs

As you will learn reading this chapter, it is important to understand people and know that people often communicate to satisfy their needs, but each person’s need level is different. To survive, physiological and safety needs must be met. Through communication, humans can work together to grow food, produce food, build shelter, create safe environments, and engage in protective behaviors. Once physiological and safety needs have been met, communication can then shift to love and belonging. Instead of focusing on living to see the next day, humans can focus on building relationships by discussing perhaps the value of a friendship or the desire for sexual intimacy. After creating a sense of love and belonging, humans can move forward to working on “esteem.” Communication may involve sharing praise, working toward goals, and discussion of strengths, which may lead to positive self-esteem. When esteem has been addressed and met, humans can achieve self-actualization. Communication will be about making life better, sharing innovative ideas, contributions to society, compassion and understanding, and providing insight to others. Imagine trying to communicate creatively about a novel or express compassion for others while starving and feeling unprotected. The problem of starving must be resolved before communication can shift to areas addressed within self-actualization.

Critics of Maslow’s theory argue that the hierarchy may not be absolute because it could be possible to achieve self-actualization without meeting the lower needs. 4 For example, a parent/guardian might put before the needs of the child first if food is scarce. In this case, the need for food has not been fully met, and yet the parent/guardian is able to engage in self-actualized behavior. Other critics point out that Maslow’s hierarchy is rather Western-centric and focused on more individualistic cultures (focus is on the individual needs and desires) and not applicable to cultures that are collectivistic (focus is on the family, group, or culture’s needs and desires). 5

It is important to understand needs because other people may have different needs. This can influence how a message is received. For instance, Shaun and Dee have been dating for some time. Dee wants to talk about wedding plans and the possibility of having children. However, Shaun is struggling to make ends meet. He is focused on his paycheck and where he will get money to cover his rent and what his next meal will be due to his tight income. It is very hard for Shaun to talk about their future together and future plans, when he is so focused on his basic physiological needs for food and water. Dee is on a different level, love and belonging, because she doesn’t have to worry about finances. Communicate can be difficult when two people have very drastic needs that are not being met. This can be frustrating to both Dee and Shaun. Dee feels like Shaun doesn’t love her because he refuses to talk about their future together. Shaun is upset with Dee, because she doesn’t seem to understand how hard it is for him to deal with such a tight budget. If we are not able to understand the other person’s needs, then we won’t be able to have meaningful conversations.

Learning About Self and Others

Communication is powerful, and sometimes words can affect us in ways that we might not imagine. Think back to a time when someone said something hurtful or insightful to you. How did it make you feel? Did you feel empowered to prove that person wrong or right? Even in a classroom, peers can say things that might make you reconsider how to feel about yourself.

Classmates provide a great deal of feedback to each other. They may comment on how well one particular student does, and this contributes to the student’s self-concept. The student might think, “People think I am a good student, so I must be.” When we interact with others, how they perceive and relate to us impacts our overall self-concept. According to Reńe M. Dailey, 6 adolescents’ self-concepts were impacted by daily conversations when acceptance and challenges were present.

In high school, peers can be more influential than family members. Some peers can say very hurtful things and make you think poorly of yourself. And then, some peers believe in you and make you feel supported in your ideas. These interactions shape us in the person we are today. On a job interview, if someone asks you to tell them about yourself, how would you describe yourself? The words that you use are related to your self-concept. Self-concept refers to the perceptions that you view about yourself. These perceptions are relatively stable. These might include your preferences, talents, emotional states, pet peeves, and beliefs.

Self-esteem is a part of self-concept. Self-esteem includes judgments of self-worth. A person can vary on high to low evaluations of self-esteem. People with high self-esteem will feel positive about themselves and others. They will mainly focus on their successes and believe that others’ comments are helpful.

Discovering Self-Concept - Who are you?

As a means to determine your self-concept, address the following questions, and ask others to answer the question about you.

• Where did you grow up?
• What did you enjoy doing as a child?
• What qualities did others recognize in you as you grew up? (ex. “I know I can rely on you.” Or “You are good at making people laugh.”
• When you are with a group of people, what is your role in the group? (Ex. Listening, coordinating meeting times and location, initiating getting together).

Why do you think you communicate the way that you do? Is it based on some of the answers to these self-reflexive questions? Sometimes people behave and interact with others because of their past experiences, their background, and/or their observations with others.

On the other hand, people with low self-esteem will view things negatively and may focus more on their failures. They are more likely to take other people’s comments as criticism or hostility. A recent study found that people with low self-esteem prefer to communicate indirectly, such as an email or text, rather than face-to-face compared to people with high self-esteem. 7

Building and Maintaining Relationships

Research indicates that your self-concept doesn’t happen when you are born. 8 Rather, it happens over time. When you are very young, you are still learning about your body. Some children’s songs talk about your head, shoulders, and toes. As you develop into an adult, you learn more about yourself with others. It is through this communication with others that we not only learn about our self, but we can build and maintain relationships. To start a relationship with someone else, we might ask them very generic questions, such as their favorite color or favorite movie. Once we have established a connection, we might invite them to coffee or lunch. As we spend time with others, then we learn more about them by talking with them, and then we discover our likes and dislikes with someone. It is through this sharing of information with others that we learn more about them. We can build intimacy and a deeper connection with others when they tell us more about their experiences and their perspectives.

Think about all the relationships that you have developed over time. Now think about how these people either shaped your self-concept or perceptions regarding your self-esteem. For instance, you may have had a coach or teacher that impacted the way that you learn about a certain topic. You may have had an inspirational teacher that helped you find your career path or you might have had a coach that constantly embarrassed you in front of your teammates by yelling at you. These two very different experiences can impact how you feel about yourself.

We are constantly receiving messages from people throughout our life. On social media, there will be people who like our posts, but there might be some who disagree or not like what we post. These experiences can help us understand what we value and what things we may choose to ignore.

From an early age, we might compare ourselves to others. This is called social comparison. For instance, in grade school, your teacher might have asked everyone to line up against the wall to see who is the tallest and who is the shortest. Instinctively, we already compare ourselves to others. When there is an exam, students want to know how other people performed on the exam to see if they are different or similar. By comparing ourselves to others, we might be able to discern if we are better or worse than others, which can, in turn, influence our self-esteem.

We will build and maintain relationships with others who have similar self-concepts to us, or we perceive them to have a similar self-concept about ourselves. Your closest friends are usually people that are similar to you in some way. These relationships most likely occurred because you were willing to disclose information about yourself to see if you were similar or compatible with the other person.

Uncertainty Reduction Theory

As humans habitually form relationships, theorists Charles Berger and Richard Calabrese 9 sought to understand how humans begin relationships. Their research focused on the initiation of relationships, and it was observed that humans, in first meetings, attempt to reduce uncertainty. Thus, the Uncertainty Reduction theory emerged. This theory addressed cognitive uncertainty (uncertainty associated with the beliefs and attitudes of another) and behavioral uncertainty (uncertainty regarding how another person might behave). Three strategies are used to reduce uncertainty, including passive, active, and interactive strategies. Passive strategies avoid disrupting the other individual and can be accomplished through observation. Active strategies involve asking a friend for information or observing social networking such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Finally, interactive strategies involve direct contact with the other individual.

Charles Berger and Richard Calabrese (1975) believed that when we meet new people, we are fraught with uncertainty about the new relationship and will seek to reduce this uncertainty and its resulting anxiety. 10 They found that the best and most common way of reducing this uncertainty is through self-disclosure. As such, self-disclosure needs to be reciprocal to successfully reduce uncertainty. Upon new introductions, we tend to consider three things: (1) The person’s ability to reward or punish us, (2) the degree to which they meet or violate our social expectations, and (3) whether we expect to reencounter them. Most of these considerations are made instantly and often through expectancy biases. Research revealed that we tend to make snap decisions about people upon meeting them based on previously held beliefs and experiences and that these decisions are extremely difficult to overcome or change. 11 When we meet other people, there is a ton of information for us to go through very quickly, so just as in other situations, we draw on our previous understandings and experiences to make assumptions about this new person. The process of self-disclosure allows us to gain more data to create a more accurate understanding of other individuals, which gives us better insight into their future actions and reduces our uncertainty of them.

These ideas can be seen very clearly in the digital age as they relate to Chang, Fang, and Huang’s (2015) research on consumer reviews online and their effect on potential purchasers. 12 They found that similarities in a reviewer’s diction to the shoppers’ language, and the confirmation of the shoppers’ prior beliefs, created more credibility. We are more comfortable with things and people that are like us, and that we understand and can predict. How does this translate to more personal forms of computer-mediated communication (CMC) such as email?

In another study, researchers sought to find out what factors influence our understanding of such messages. 13 They found that the individual personality of the receiver was the biggest factor in the way the messages were interpreted. Again we see that we as humans interpret data in as much as we are familiar with that data. We will consistently make assumptions based on what we would do or have experienced previously. The lack of nonverbal information in CMC adds to this. We have very little more than text to use in the formation of our opinions and seek to eliminate the uncertainty.

We need to go back then to the solution that Berger and Calabrese found for the reduction of uncertainty, self-disclosure. Many new relationships today, particularly in the dating world, begin online. To be successful in these initial encounters, the key would seem to be to engage in as much self-disclosure as possible on the front end to help others reduce anxiety based on uncertainty. More research in this area would support that an increase in self-disclosure results in an increase in positive reactions from similar users in a social network. The implied problem of all of this is that there is little to no way to verify the information disclosed by users. So a new kind of uncertainty reduction theory seems necessary. How can we alter our previous notions of human behavior to reflect a culture in which deception is presumably so much easier? Is the answer to live in a world of uncertainty and its resulting anxiety? To what degree must we assume the best of others and engage in potentially risky relationships to maintain a functional society? Who can we trust, and how can we know?

Key Takeaways

• Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs impacts the content of communication as well as the purpose.
• The feedback we receive from others provides insight into who we are as individuals.
• A major theory in building relationships is Uncertainty Reduction Theory, which explains how we put ourselves at ease with others.
• Write down a list of questions you asked when you first met your college roommate or a new friend? Review these questions and write down why these questions are useful to you.
• Recall a situation in which you were recently carrying on a conversation with another person. Write down the details of the conversation. Now, relate the parts of the conversation to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

COM 1090 - Interpersonal Communication: Relationship Assignment

• COM 1090: Interpersonal Communication

Relationship Assignment

• Research Tutorial This link opens in a new window
• Database Searching
• Books / Ebooks
• Streaming Videos
• Internet Resources

The purpose of this assignment is to examine the role of communication in creating and sustaining relationships by analyzing interpersonal communication principles and concepts in the development, maintenance, and possibly, the deterioration of a long term significant relationship.

This assignment is linked to the following Student Learning Outcome:

• Evaluate orally and in writing intrapersonal skill concepts

This assignment is designed to help you practice evaluating orally and in writing interpersonal skill concepts covered in this course. You will by analyzing a relationship that is important to you and describing it in terms used in the textbook and class discussions. This assignment has two components: a 2-4 page paper and an oral presentation.

No matter what type of relationship we are in—whether, in terms of friendship, romance, or family, all relationships are in the process of either developing or dying.  This paper requires you to analyze an interpersonal relationship using communication concepts/theories and principles from the text and lectures (as well as incorporating the social context of generation and culture). The relationship you choose to write about can be one that you are currently engaged in or one that has already ended.   It should, however, be a fairly recent one, not a relationship you had in grade school.  It can be a friendship relationship or a romantic relationship.  You don’t need to disclose any information you are not comfortable disclosing.

Organization

This paper involves more than just simply summarizing the development of a relationship.  While you will want to offer some description of the relationship; the main emphasis should be on how it has developed in communication between two people.  Your paper should contain the following five parts:

• Cover Page: (include your name, the date, class name, my name)
• Introduction:   Describe the relationship. Who are the participants? What is the history of the relationship? What is the current status of the relationship?  This information should be relatively brief. Next, preview the body of the paper by indicating the terms/concepts you will use to analyze the relationship.
• Body:   In this section of the paper you will analyze the relationship using interpersonal communication concepts, terms, topics, etc. This is by far the longest section of the paper.
• Select at least two concepts that we’ve discussed in class and apply them to your relationship.  You should discuss these concepts in-depth and explain how they affected the communication in your relationship. Use evidence to support your claims and ---using direct quotes from the text, and specific examples from your relationship.   If you fail to give evidence, it will significantly lower your grade. Be sure the concepts you choose are not too general. For example, mediated communication as a concept would be too general, but focusing on gender differences in mediated communication and how these differences affected your relationship would be acceptable.
• Some concepts you should consider using are self-disclosure, nonverbal communication, drawbacks of mediated communication, perception checking, listening, self-fulfilling prophecies, social roles, gender communication, the influence of culture, self-concept, self-esteem, self-disclosure, relational dialectics, confirming/disconfirming messages, interpersonal attraction, expressing emotions, trust, rituals, commitment, investment, managing conflict.
• Conclusion :  This section includes a brief summary of the body of the paper.  End the paper with some reflections on your relationship, and what you learned as a result of completing this assignment. If you feel you learned nothing, that is fine but you need to elaborate.
• Reference Page : Provide a list in APA format of any references you used in your paper. Your textbook should be included in this list.

Papers will be based on three criteria. First, papers must demonstrate an understanding of interpersonal communication topics. Second, in your paper, you must analyze how these interpersonal communication topics apply to your particular relationship. Third, papers must be well organized and demonstrate effective writing mechanics and style. Your overall grade will depend on whether or not you include the five components outlined above. 

Requirements

The paper must be typed, double spaced, 12pt font, one-inch margins all around.  Acceptable college level of grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, paragraph structure, and spelling should be utilized.  Be sure to edit your paper carefully before turning it in. Papers should be 2-4 pages (2 pages of text, one cover page, one reference page). All papers should be submitted through Blackboard by 11:59 pm  on the assigned date . I will submit all papers to Safe Assign to check for plagiarism. I will not accept late papers.

Oral Presentation

In addition to submitting a written paper, you will need to give an oral presentation to your classmates. Your presentation must be 4-5 minutes in length and should include an introduction, body and conclusion. In your presentation, share the highlights from your paper with us without reading it. You should use notecards but eye contact and adequate volume are essential! You will need to upload your video to Youtube and submit it to the appropriate link on the Discussion Board no later than 11:59 pm  on the date assigned.

*The Relationship Paper is worth 60 points and the presentation is worth 25 points.

Please be aware that this is the general assignment for COM-1090 and your professor may have altered the requirements.  Always refer  to your professor for the most up to date information.

• Relationship Assignment The purpose of this assignment is to examine the role of communication in creating and sustaining relationships by analyzing interpersonal communication principles and concepts in the development, maintenance, and possibly, the deterioration of a long term significant relationship.
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Week 9: Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal communication summary.

Interpersonal communication is communication between individuals that view one another as unique. Quite often, interpersonal communication occurs in dyads. In order for interpersonal communication to occur, participants must engage in self-disclosure, which is the revealing of information about oneself to others that is not known by them. As we self-disclose, we manage our relationships by negotiating dialectical tensions, which are opposing needs in interpersonal relationships. We use a variety of strategies for navigating these tensions, including neutralization, separation, segmentation, and reframing.

As we navigate our interpersonal relationships, we create communication climates, which are the overall feelings and moods people have for one another and the relationship. When we engage in disconfirming messages, we produce a negative relational climate, while confirming messages can help build a positive relational climate by recognizing the uniqueness and importance of another person.

The three primary types of interpersonal relationships we engage in are friendships, romantic relationships, and family relationships. Each of these relationships develop through a series of stages of growth and deterioration. Friendships and romantic relationships differ from family relationships in that they are relationships of choice. Each of these relationships requires commitment from participants to continuously navigate relational dynamics in order to maintain and grow the relationship.

Finally, all relationships experience conflict. Conflict is often perceived as an indicator that there is a problem in a relationship. However, conflict is a natural and ongoing part of all relationships. The goal for conflict is not to eliminate it, but to manage it. There are five primary approaches to managing conflict which include dominating, obliging, compromising, avoiding, and integrating.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

• Select an important person in your life and pay attention to your communication climate. How do you and this other person demonstrate recognition, acknowledgement, and endorsement?
• Reflect on one of your important friendships and trace its development through Rawlins’ six stages. How was it affected by important transitions in your life, sexual attraction, and diversity?
• Reflect on a current or past romantic relationship. How did you communicate attraction, or needs for connection and separateness?
• Does Pearson’s definition of family fit your own? Why? Why not?
• Interview one or both of your parents about how their communication has changed as they have moved along the family life cycle. How did their relational culture change? How did they manage relational dialectics?
• How was conflict managed in your family while growing up? Was it viewed as positive or negative? How did those early messages and lessons about conflict shape your current attitudes?
• committed romantic relationships
• content level of message
• domestic partners
• dyadic breakdown
• dyadic phase
• family life cycle
• grave dressing
• intrapsychic phase
• interracial marriage
• relational culture
• relational level of message
• self-disclosure
• self-identity
• social support
• Survey of Communication Study. Authored by : Scott T Paynton and Linda K Hahn. Provided by : Humboldt State University. Located at : https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Survey_of_Communication_Study . License : CC BY-SA: Attribution-ShareAlike

Want to create or adapt books like this? Learn more about how Pressbooks supports open publishing practices.

1.3 Models and Forms of Communication

Models of communication.

The two models we will discuss, the linear model and the transactional model , include the following parts: participants, messages, encoding, decoding, and channels (ISU, 2016). In the models, the participants are the senders and/or receivers of messages in a communication encounter. The message is the verbal or nonverbal content being conveyed from sender to receiver (ISU, 2016). For example, when you say “hello” to your friend, you are sending a message of greeting that will be received by your friend.

The basic components listed below apply to both models:

• A  sender is someone who encodes and sends a message to a receiver through a particular channel. The sender is the initiator of the communication. For example, when you text a friend, ask a teacher a question, or wave to someone, you are the sender of a message (ISU, 2016).
• A  receiver is the recipient of a message. Receivers must decode (interpret) messages in ways that are meaningful for them (ISU, 2016). For example, if you see your friend make eye contact, smile, wave, and say “hello” as you pass, you are receiving a message intended for you. When this happens, you must decode the verbal and nonverbal communication in ways that make sense to you.
• A  message is the particular meaning or content the sender wishes the receiver to understand (ISU, 2016). The message can be intentional or unintentional, written or spoken, verbal or nonverbal, or any combination of these. For example, as you walk across campus you may see a friend walking towards you. When you make eye contact, wave, smile, and say “hello,” you are offering a message that is intentional, spoken, verbal, and nonverbal.
• A  channel is a method a sender uses to send a message to a receiver (ISU, 2016). The most common channels that humans use are verbal and nonverbal communication. Verbal communication relies on language and includes speaking, writing, and sign language. Nonverbal communication includes gestures, facial expressions, paralanguage, and touch. We also use communication channels that are mediated, such as television or the computer, which may use both verbal and nonverbal communication. Using the greeting example above, the channels include both verbal and nonverbal communication.
• Noise is anything that interferes with the sending or receiving of a message (ISU, 2016). Noise can be external , such as a jackhammer outside your apartment window or loud music in a nightclub. Noise can also be internal, such as psychological factors like stress or nervousness, or physical factors , such as pain. External and internal noise make encoding and decoding messages more difficult. Using our ongoing example, if you are on your way to lunch and listening to music on your phone when your friend greets you, you may not hear your friend say “hello,” and you may not wish to chat because you are hungry. In this case, both internal and external noise influence the communication exchange. Noise occurs in every communication context, so no message is received exactly as it is transmitted by a sender because noise distorts it in one way or another (ISU, 2016).

Linear Model

The linear model (originally called the mathematical model of communication ) serves as a basic model of communication and was developed by Claude Shannon and Warren Weaver in 1949. This model suggests that communication moves only in one direction from one source to another (ISU, 2016). The sender encodes a message, then uses a certain channel (verbal or nonverbal communication) to send it to a receiver who decodes (interprets) the message. You also act as the receiver when you watch a video or receive a message from another source. Noise is anything that interferes with, or changes, the original encoded message (ISU, 2016). Image 1.4 is a basic illustration of the linear model, and the video below provides an overview of this model of communication.

(Communication Studies, 2020)

A major criticism of the linear model of communication is that it suggests communication only occurs in one direction (ISU, 2016). This model also does not show how context, or our personal experiences, impact communication. Television serves as a good example of the linear model. Have you ever talked back to your television while you were watching it? Maybe you were watching a sporting event or a dramatic show and you talked at the people on the television. Did they respond to you? We’re sure they did not. Television works in one direction. No matter how much you talk to the television it will not respond to you. Now apply this idea to the communication in your relationships. It seems ridiculous to think that this is how we would communicate with each other on a regular basis. This example shows the limits of the linear model for understanding communication, particularly human-to-human communication (ISU, 2016).

Transactional Model

The transactional model, which was adapted by Dean Barnlund in 1970, demonstrates that communication participants act as senders and receivers simultaneously, creating reality through their interactions (ISU, 2016). Communication is not a simple one-way transmission of a message—the personal filters and experiences of the participants impact each communication exchange. The transactional model demonstrates that we are simultaneously senders and receivers and that noise and personal filters always influence the outcomes of every communication exchange (ISU, 2016). This more complex model of commination is shown in Image 1.5.

This model also suggests that meaning is co-constructed between all parties involved in any given communication interaction. This notion of co-constructed meaning is drawn from the relational, social, and cultural contexts that make up our communication environments. Personal and professional relationships, for example, have a history of prior interaction that informs present and future interactions (ISU, 2016). Social norms, or rules for behaviour and interaction, greatly influence how we relate to one another. For example, if your instructor taught the class while sitting down rather than standing up, you and your colleagues would feel awkward because that is not an expected norm for behaviour in a classroom setting. How we negotiate cultural values, beliefs, attitudes, and traditions also impacts our communication interactions. Theses concepts are elaborated more below.

(Instructional Design Team – Seattle Central College, 2018)

Communication Contexts

The contexts below are all factors that affect communication and must be considered in any communication exchange:

Physical Context

The physical context includes the environmental factors in a communication encounter. The size, layout, temperature, and lighting of a space influence our communication. Imagine the different physical contexts in which job interviews take place and how that might affect your communication. I have had job interviews on a sofa in a comfortable office, sitting around a large conference table, and even once in an auditorium where I was positioned on the stage facing about 20 potential colleagues seated in the audience. I’ve also been walked around campus in freezing temperatures to interview with various people. Although I was a little chilly when I got to each separate interview, it wasn’t too difficult to warm up and go on with the interview. During a job interview in Puerto Rico, however, walking around outside wearing a suit in very hot temperatures created a sweating situation that wasn’t pleasant to try to communicate through. Whether it’s the size of the room, the temperature, or other environmental factors, it’s important to consider the role that physical context plays in our communication.

Psychological Context

The psychological context includes the mental and emotional factors in a communication encounter. Stress, anxiety, and emotions are just some examples of psychological influences that can affect our communication. I recently found out some troubling news a few hours before a big public presentation. It was challenging to try to communicate because the psychological noise triggered by the stressful news kept intruding into my other thoughts. Seemingly positive psychological states, like experiencing the emotion of love, can also affect communication. During the initial stages of a romantic relationship, individuals may be so “lovestruck” that they don’t see incompatible personality traits or don’t negatively evaluate behaviours they might otherwise find off-putting.

Social Context

Social context refers to the stated rules or unstated norms that guide communication. As we are socialized into our various communities, we learn rules and implicitly pick up on norms for communicating. Some common rules that influence social contexts include not lying to people, not interrupting people, greeting people when they greet you, thanking people when they pay you a compliment, and so on. Parents and teachers often explicitly convey these rules to their children or students.

Norms are social conventions that we pick up on through observation, practice, and trial and error. We may not even know we are breaking a social norm until we notice people looking at us strangely or someone corrects or teases us. For example, as a new employee you may over- or underdress for the company’s holiday party because you don’t know the norm for formality. Although there probably isn’t a stated rule about how to dress at the holiday party, you will notice your error without someone having to point it out, and you will likely not deviate from the norm again in order to save yourself from any potential embarrassment. Even though breaking a social norm doesn’t result in the formal punishment that might be a consequence of breaking a social rule, the awkwardness we feel when we violate social norms is usually enough to teach us that these norms are powerful even though they aren’t as explicit as rules. Norms even have the power to override social rules in some situations. To go back to the examples of common social rules mentioned before, we may break the rule about not lying if the lie is meant to save someone from feeling hurt. We often interrupt close friends when we’re having an exciting conversation, but we wouldn’t be as likely to interrupt a professor while they are lecturing. Since norms and rules vary among people and cultures, relational and cultural contexts are also included in the transactional model to help us understand the multiple contexts that influence our communication.

Relational Context

The relational context includes the previous interpersonal history and type of relationship we have with a person. We will communicate differently with someone we just met versus someone we’ve known for a very long time. Communication will also vary depending on the type of relationship we have with someone. For example, there are certain communication rules and norms that apply to a supervisor–supervisee relationship that don’t apply to a brother–sister relationship and vice versa. Just as social norms and relational history influence how we communicate, so does culture.

Cultural Context

Cultural context includes various aspects of identities such as race, gender, nationality, ethnicity, sexual orientation, class, and ability. It is important for us to understand that whether we are aware of it or not, we all have multiple cultural identities that influence our communication. Some people, especially those with identities that have been historically marginalized, are regularly aware of how their cultural identities influence their communication and influence how others communicate with them. Conversely, people with identities that are dominant or in the majority may rarely, if ever, think about the role their cultural identities play in their communication.

Although some of these models are overly simplistic representations of communication, they illustrate some of the complexities of defining and studying communication. Hopefully, you recognize that studying communication is simultaneously detail oriented (looking at small parts of human communication) and far reaching (examining a broad range of communication exchanges). Knowledge of these models, their components, and how they apply in various contexts can show us how complex communication is. Because of this, it is also not surprising that often there may be communication challenges, but knowing why they occur—possibly owing to some of the factors discussed above—can help to avoid, or at least overcome, these challenges.

Forms of Communication

Forms of communication vary in terms of participants, channels used, and contexts. The five main forms of communication are intrapersonal, interpersonal, group, public, and mass communication.

Intrapersonal Communication

Intrapersonal communication is communication with oneself using internal vocalization or reflective thinking, as shown in Image 1.6. Like other forms of communication, intrapersonal communication is triggered by an internal or external stimulus. For example, the internal stimulus of hunger may prompt us to communicate with ourself about what we want to eat, or we may react intrapersonally to an event we witness. Unlike other forms of communication, intrapersonal communication takes place only inside our head. The other forms of communication must be perceived by someone else to count as communication. So what is the point of intrapersonal communication if no one else is aware of it?

Intrapersonal communication serves several social functions. For example, a person may use self-talk to calm down in a stressful situation, or a shy person may remind themself to smile during a social event. Intrapersonal communication also helps build and maintain our self-concept. We form an understanding of who we are based on how other people communicate with us and how we process that communication intrapersonally. The shy person in the earlier example probably internalized shyness as part of their self-concept because other people associated that individual’s communication behaviours with shyness and may have even labelled that person “shy” before they had a firm grasp on what that meant. We also use intrapersonal communication, or “self-talk,” to let off steam, process emotions, think through something, or rehearse what we plan to say or do in the future. As with the other forms of communication, competent intrapersonal communication helps facilitate social interaction and can enhance our well-being.

Sometimes we communicate intrapersonally for the fun of it. I’m sure we have all had the experience of laughing aloud because we thought of something funny. We also communicate intrapersonally to pass time. There is likely a lot of intrapersonal communication going on in waiting rooms all over the world right now. We can, however, engage in more intentional intrapersonal communication. In fact, deliberate self-reflection can help us become more competent communicators as we become more mindful of our own behaviours. For example, your internal voice may praise or scold you based on a thought or action.

Of all the forms of communication, intrapersonal communication has received the least amount of formal study. It is rare to find courses devoted to the topic, and it is generally separated from the remaining four types of communication. The main distinction is that intrapersonal communication is not created with the intention that another person will perceive it. In all the other forms, the fact that the communicator anticipates consumption of their message is very important.

Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal communication is communication between people whose lives mutually influence one another. This type of communication builds, maintains, and ends our relationships, and we spend more time engaged in interpersonal communication than the other forms of communication. Interpersonal communication occurs in various contexts and is addressed in subfields of study within communication studies, such as intercultural communication, organizational communication, health communication, and computer-mediated communication. After all, interpersonal relationships exist in all those contexts.

Interpersonal communication can be planned or unplanned, but because it is interactive, it is usually more structured and influenced by social expectations than intrapersonal communication. Interpersonal communication is also more goal-oriented than intrapersonal communication and fulfills instrumental and relational needs. In terms of instrumental needs, the goal may be as minor as greeting someone to fulfill a morning ritual or as major as conveying your desire to be in a committed relationship with someone. Interpersonal communication meets relational needs by communicating the uniqueness of a specific relationship. Couples, bosses and employees, and family members all have to engage in complex interpersonal communication, and it doesn’t always go well. In order to be a competent interpersonal communicator, you need conflict management skills and listening skills, among others, to maintain positive relationships.

Group Communication

Group communication is communication among three or more people interacting to achieve a shared goal. You have likely worked in groups in high school and college, and if you’re like most students, you didn’t enjoy it. Even though it can be frustrating, group work in an academic setting provides useful experience and preparation for group work in professional settings. Organizations have been moving towards more team-based work models, and whether we like it or not, groups are an integral part of people’s lives. Therefore, the study of group communication is valuable in many contexts.

You know from previous experience working in groups that having more communicators usually leads to more complicated interactions. Some of the challenges of group communication relate to task-oriented interactions, such as deciding who will complete each part of a larger project. But many challenges stem from interpersonal conflict or misunderstandings among group members. Because group members also communicate with and relate to each other interpersonally and may have preexisting relationships or develop them during the course of group interaction, elements of interpersonal communication occur within group communication, too.

Public Communication

Public communication is a sender-focused form of communication in which one person is typically responsible for conveying information to an audience. Public speaking, as shown in Image 1.7, is something that many people fear, or at least don’t enjoy. But just like group communication, public speaking is an important part of our academic, professional, and civic lives. When compared to interpersonal and group communication, public communication is the most consistently intentional, formal, and goal-oriented form of communication we have discussed so far.

Public communication, at least in Western societies, is also more sender focused than interpersonal or group communication. It is precisely this formality and focus on the sender that makes both new and experienced public speakers anxious at the thought of facing an audience. One way to begin to manage anxiety about public speaking is to try to see connections between public speaking and other forms of communication with which we are more familiar and comfortable. Despite being formal, public speaking is very similar to the conversations that we have in our daily interactions. For example, although public speakers don’t necessarily develop individual relationships with audience members, they still have the benefit of being face-to-face with them so they can receive verbal and nonverbal feedback.

Mass Communication

Public communication becomes mass communication when it is transmitted to many people through print or electronic media. Print media such as newspapers and magazines continue to be an important channel for mass communication, though they have suffered much in the past decade due in part to the rise of electronic media. Television, as shown in Image 1.8, websites, blogs, and social media are mass communication channels that you probably engage with regularly. Radio, podcasts, and books are other examples of mass media. The technology required to send mass communication messages distinguishes it from the other forms of communication. A certain amount of intentionality goes into transmitting a mass communication message because it usually requires one or more extra steps to convey the message. This may require pressing “Enter” to send a Facebook message or involve an entire crew of camera people, sound engineers, and production assistants to produce a television show. Even though the messages must be intentionally transmitted through technology, the intentionality and goals of the person actually creating the message, such as the writer, television host, or talk show guest, vary greatly.

Mass communication differs from other forms of communication in terms of the personal connection between participants. Even though creating the illusion of a personal connection is often a goal of those who create mass communication messages, the relational aspect of interpersonal and group communication isn’t inherent in this form of communication. Unlike interpersonal, group, and public communication, there is no immediate verbal and nonverbal feedback loop in mass communication. Of course, you could write a letter to the editor of a newspaper or send an email to a television or radio broadcaster in response to a story, but the immediate feedback available in face-to-face interactions is not present. With new media technologies such as Twitter, blogs, and Facebook, feedback is becoming more immediate. Individuals can now tweet directly “at” (@) someone and use hashtags (#) to direct feedback to mass communication sources. Many radio and television hosts and news organizations specifically invite feedback from viewers/listeners via social media and may even share the feedback with the audience.

The technology to mass produce and distribute communication messages brings with it the power for one voice or a series of voices to reach and affect many people. This power makes mass communication different from other levels of communication. Although there is potential for unethical communication at all the other levels, the potential consequences of unethical mass communication are important to consider. Communication scholars who focus on mass communication and media often take a critical approach in order to examine how media shapes our culture and who is included and excluded in various mediated messages.

Relating Theory to Real Life

• Use the transactional model of communication to analyze a recent communication encounter you had.
• Communicators
• Co-created meaning
• Channels involved
• Physical, psychological, social, relational, and cultural contexts
• Imagine an interaction with a client or co-worker in your future workplace. Describe how each element of context might influence the interaction.

Attribution

Unless otherwise indicated, material on this page has been reproduced or adapted from the following resource:

University of Minnesota. (2016).  Communication in the real world: An introduction to communication studies . University of Minnesota Libraries Publishing. https://open.lib.umn.edu/communication , licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 , except where otherwise noted.

Barnlund, D. (1970). A transactional model of communication . Harper & Row.

Communication Studies. (2020, 14 November. Linear model of communication [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27V1bg0jqXc

Department of Communication, Indiana State University (ISU). (2016). Introduction to public communication. Indiana State University. http://kell.indstate.edu/public-comm-intro/ , licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0

Instructional Design Team – Seattle Central College. (2018, 15 November). Transactional model [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHDfF395BRk

Shannon, C., and Weaver, W. (1949). The mathematical theory of communication . University of Illinois Press. https://raley.english.ucsb.edu/wp-content/Engl800/Shannon-Weaver.pdf

Image Credits (images are listed in order of appearance)

Linear transmission model  by Andy Schmitz, CC BY-SA 3.0

Transactionalmodel  by Andy Schmitz, CC BY-SA 3.0

Thinking woman  by Xuan Zheng, CC BY-SA 2.0

LECIAD Guest Seminar – 4  by U.S. Embassy Ghana , Public domain

Chris Nalls WTVA Reporter  by Velvetgrey, CC BY-SA 4.0

Introduction to Communications Copyright © 2023 by NorQuest College is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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Table of Contents

What is interpersonal communication, what about intrapersonal communication, types of interpersonal communication, how to build interpersonal communication skills, interpersonal communication tips for remote workers, elements of interpersonal communication, what is interpersonal communication the four principles of interpersonal communication, interpersonal communication examples, interpersonal communication uses, difference between interpersonal and intrapersonal communication, the importance of interpersonal communication, would you like to become a project manager, what is interpersonal communication skills, types, and examples.

Reviewed and fact-checked by Sayantoni Das

How would you define interpersonal communication? It’s simple, really. The most straightforward, basic interpersonal communication meaning is "face-to-face communication." But there is so much more to effective interpersonal communication.

In fact, there is a whole range of interpersonal communication skills, and we’re about to explore the topic at length. You will see how communication and interpersonal skills make up a valuable part of success in the workplace, especially for positions like Project Managers . We’ll even supply you with a few interpersonal communication examples while answering “what is interpersonal communication?”

Interpersonal communication involves the information, ideas, and feelings being exchanged verbally or non-verbally between two or more people. Face-to-face communication often involves hearing, seeing, and feeling body language, facial expressions, and gestures.

In other terms, Interpersonal communication is exchanging information, meaning, feelings, and opinions between two or more people via verbal and non-verbal means. Although we mentioned “face-to-face” communication previously, today’s technology compels us to expand its definition to include media such as phone calls and online messaging.

You may have heard the term “intrapersonal communication” and wondered if it’s related to interpersonal communication. The words are opposites, actually. “Inter” refers to dealings between people, groups, or other entities (e.g., intercontinental, international). “Intra,” on the other hand, describes actions within a person or a group. For example, an intranet is a private digital network that exists solely within a company or organization.

Intrapersonal communication describes how we communicate with ourselves, including an accurate idea of our perceptions, expectations, and concepts.

The first step in answering “what is interpersonal communication?” is breaking it down into four distinct types.

• Verbal: In other words, speaking. This term covers the words you use, how persuasively you speak, the language you use, which words you emphasize, and even the use of affirmative sounds and short phrases like “Yup” or “Uh-huh.”
• Listening: You can make a good case for listening as the most important interpersonal communication skill. It covers the ability to listen attentively, whether you’re using your ears to listen “in-person” or some other means, say, over the Internet. Listening also includes special techniques like reflection and clarification. The best listeners are people who can focus their attention on the speaker to make the latter feel like they're the sole and most important person in the room.
• The Written Word: Thanks to the Internet age and situations requiring isolation (e.g., the pandemic), good written communication skills have become an asset. Whether you're on social media, in the workplace, or even texting on your phone, you must know how to get your point across in writing. This type includes emojis, grammar, clarity, tone, and even punctuation. After all, there's a vast difference between "Let's eat, Grandma!" and "Let's eat Grandma!"
• Non-Verbal: This final type covers body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and gestures. Again, it's essential that the listener picks up and correctly interprets non-verbal cues.

Building interpersonal communication skills can help you improve your relationships, increase your ability to collaborate effectively with others, and enhance your overall success in life. Here are some tips to help you develop them:

Practice active listening: One of the most important aspects of interpersonal communication is active listening. This involves fully concentrating on what the other person is saying, without interrupting or judging them. You can practice active listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and asking questions to clarify their message.

Use clear and concise language: Communication is most effective when it is clear and concise. Use simple language and avoid jargon or technical terms that others may not understand.

Be aware of nonverbal communication: Nonverbal communication, such as body language and facial expressions, can also convey messages. Be aware of your own nonverbal cues and try to read others' body language to better understand their message.

Show empathy: Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others. When communicating with others, try to put yourself in their shoes and show understanding and compassion for their perspective.

Build rapport: Building rapport involves finding common ground and establishing a connection with others. This can help to build trust and enhance communication. Look for common interests or experiences, and use humor or other forms of positive reinforcement to build a positive relationship.

Be open to feedback: Be open to constructive criticism and feedback from others, and use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

As more people are working remotely, developing interpersonal communication skills becomes even more important to maintain relationships and collaboration. Here are some tips for remote workers to enhance their interpersonal communication skills:

Use video conferencing: Use video conferencing as much as possible instead of just relying on phone calls or emails. This will help to establish a better connection with your colleagues by seeing their facial expressions and body language.

Schedule regular check-ins: Make an effort to schedule regular check-ins with your colleagues to stay connected and up-to-date on projects. This can be a quick call or a virtual coffee break to chat about work and life.

Practice active listening: When on a call or video conference, practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker, asking questions, and clarifying their message. This will help to build better communication and understanding.

Use appropriate tone and language: When communicating in writing, use an appropriate tone and language to convey your message clearly.

Use collaboration tools: Use collaboration tools like shared documents or project management tools to keep everyone on the same page and avoid misunderstandings.

Be flexible: As remote work can be more fluid than a traditional office environment, be flexible with communication methods and schedules to accommodate different time zones or work styles.

By practicing these interpersonal communication skills, remote workers can build strong relationships and collaboration with their colleagues, even if they are not in the same physical space.

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Now that we’ve established the types of interpersonal communication, we can take the next step in understanding this concept by breaking it down into six separate elements to answer “what is interpersonal communication?”.

• The Communicating Parties: There’s no communication without a sender and a receiver. However, many people mistake assigning only one speaker and one listener to the conversation. Effective interpersonal communication requires all parties to assume both roles, sending and receiving the message at the appropriate time.
• The Message Itself: This element covers the information in all possible forms, including speech and non-verbal communication.
• Extraneous Noise: Noise includes anything that interferes with, distorts, or overpowers the message. This element comprises everything from physically-based noises (e.g., traffic sounds, a screaming baby at the next table over) to more abstract difficulties such as cultural misunderstanding, overblown corporate jargon, showing disinterest, or inappropriate body language.
• Feedback: This element blurs the line with the “sender and receiver” idea, but it’s distinct enough to be considered separate. Feedback is limited to immediate reactions to a sent message. Feedback could be anything from verbal (e.g., “I agree,” or “I’m confused; what do you mean?”) to non-verbal (e.g., facial expressions, changes in body language/stance).
• Context: Have you ever heard the phrase “Read the room!”? That means the speaker should be paying attention to the general mood and atmosphere of the listeners and where they are. Context includes physical location, the mood/emotional climate of the audience, and social context.
• The Channel: This element covers moving the message from the sender to the receiver and refers to vision and speech.

We have one more set of breakdowns to cover. Whenever you communicate with people, you should keep in mind these four principles. If you do, your interpersonal communication technique will improve, and your messages will be more effective.

• It’s Unavoidable: Unless you’re a hermit living in a cave, you will inevitably interact with others in one manner or another. Even if you’re a shut-in, thanks to something like a quarantine, you will still have the opportunity for interpersonal communication (e.g., phone, Skype, texting).
• It’s Irreversible: You may be familiar with the phrase “I can’t unsee that.” You can't take back what you have written or said. Even if you make amends with an apology or try to walk back your comments, people don't forget words easily. And remember, Internet content is forever.
• It’s Complicated: You would think the act of speaking and hearing would be a no-brainer. Unfortunately, everyday life is complicated and interpersonal communication is filled with pitfalls. Not everyone has the same frame of reference or is equally adept at picking up subtle clues or getting the hint. Some speakers assume that everything they say is taken the right way because the listeners must obviously be on the same wavelength as they are (spoiler alert: this is not always the case).
• It’s Contextual: Sometimes, we can't control what people hear our message, where they are, their mood and mindset, and their level of comprehension. But, again, this harkens to the section dealing with interpersonal communication elements, specifically the context.

Here are some common examples of interpersonal communication. You will notice how they reference the different interpersonal communication types.

• Emails: This example is a ubiquitous form of interpersonal communication in our era of increased online usage. Unfortunately, we can't always communicate nuance and tone, leading to misunderstandings. Consequently, you need good written communication skills.
• Phone calls: Yes, people still use their smartphones for actual speaking! However, since most phone calls lack visual cues, you should have strong verbal communication skills.
• Presentations: You know what this involves if you've ever heard a lecture or been in a business meeting. Presentations typically incorporate every type of interpersonal communication. The speaker needs good verbal skills, uses gestures and expressions effectively, refers to written texts and other visual aids, and understands how the audience feels and receives the message.
• Texting: You knew we’d touch upon this one, right? Texting is less formal and structured than emails, so the communicator should grasp casual conversation skills.

We inevitably employ interpersonal communication in many different situations and contexts, whether at work or home. We use this vital skill to:

• Impart and gather information
• Influence the attitudes and behaviors of others
• Create contacts, make friends, and maintain relationships
• Make sense of our world and better understand our experiences in it
• Express our personal needs and understand the needs of others
• Make decisions and solve problems
• Set social and professional boundaries
• Provide and receive needed emotional support
• Anticipate and predict people’s behavior
• Regulate the balance of power in a workplace or social circle

Interpersonal communication and intrapersonal communication are two different types of communication. Interpersonal communication refers to communication between two or more people. It involves the exchange of messages, ideas, and information between individuals. This can take many forms, including face-to-face conversations, phone calls, emails, and video conferences.

Intrapersonal communication, on the other hand, refers to communication within oneself. It involves the internal dialogue or self-talk that occurs in our minds. This type of communication is essential for self-reflection, self-awareness, and personal growth.

Interpersonal communication is a valuable "soft skill" in many job descriptions. Strong interpersonal communication skills help people better express their emotions and thoughts and cultivate a stronger sense of empathy for others.

Interpersonal communication is also a vital part of being a team player or a group leader, things that recruiters are always looking for.

If you have solid interpersonal communication skills, you can clearly express your intentions and thoughts, enriching your professional relationships and personal life.

So many conflicts stem from simple misunderstandings. Strong interpersonal communication skills help reduce the likelihood of these misunderstandings, which subsequently lowers the risk of arguments, hurt feelings, grudges, and problems with morale.

Let's face it; not everyone is cut out to be a leader. Unfortunately, people are often placed in managerial roles because they have the work experience and hard skillsets but have no idea how to speak to people, motivate them, and keep group cohesion and morale consistently high.

Project managers need good interpersonal communication skills. If you want to become a project manager, Simplilearn can help you acquire many of your skills to fill the role effectively. The Post Graduate Program in Project Management certification course provides live online interactive classes and masterclasses from UMass Amherst and Harvard Business Publishing.

The course is aligned with PMI-PMP and IASSC-Lean Six Sigma and covers strategizing and various aspects of management such as project, program, risk, and quality. You will also learn complexity management, customer-centric digital transformation, PMO implementation , and Agile and Scrum skills.

According to Glassdoor, project managers can earn a yearly average of $97,656 in the United States and ₹800,000 in India. So visit Simplilearn today, and get a valuable headstart on the project management track!

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